Switched on Pop - A brief history of terrible lyrics (with Sam Sanders)

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Why do bad lyrics happen to good people? From "suckin' on a chili dog" to "making love to his tonic and gin," even the biggest hits from our favorite artists can feature lyrical turns that make us fee...l quizzical, offended, or even downright nauseated. With the help of Sam Sanders, brilliant host of The Sam Sanders Show, we plumb the depths of the worst pop lyrics of all time—culled from hundreds of submissions form Switched on Pop listeners—to try categorize, historicize, and, perhaps, celebrate the art of the lyrical faux pas. Follow Sam on Instagram  and check out The Sam Sanders Show for more hot takes on entertainment and culture. We recommend you start here. Songs Discussed Benson Boone - Mystical Magical Velvet Sundown - Rebel Shout Live - Lightning Crashes Captain and Tennille - Muskrat Love John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry, London Bridge Katy Perry - Firework Billy Joel - Piano Man Richard Harris - MacArthur Park Imagine Dragons - Sharks Des'ree - Life, You Gotta Be One Direction - Don't Forget Where You Belong, Little Things Taylor Swift - Willow, Anti Hero, I Hate it Here, ME! Train - Hey Soul Sister, Meet Virginia, Drops of Jupiter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If you're tired of endless scrolling to figure out where to eat, same. I'm Stephanie Wu, editor-in-chief of Eater. We've just launched the new-ish and way better Eater app. It has all the restaurants we love, gives you personalized picks wherever you are, and serves up smarter search results just for you. You can find my list of the best places for martinis and fries in New York City. And save your favorite spots, share lists, follow editors, and book right in the app. the Eater app at Eaterapp.com. It's free for iOS users. Welcome to Switched-on Pop. I'm musicologist Nate Sloan.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I'm songwriter Charlie Harding. And today we are joined by a very special guest, the co-host of Vibe Check and the singular host of the eponymous Sam Sanders show on KCRW. He is the holder of a bachelor's and I want to say clarinet performance. Is that right? Saxophone. Saxophone. Yeah. Another Woodwind. And a longtime friend of the show. Everybody, it's Sam Sanders.
Starting point is 00:01:14 So good to be here. Friend of the show and fan of the show. I mean it. It's mutual. I like what y'all do. Sam, Charlie, we are gathered here for a very special episode of Switched on Pop. Recently, the pop discourse has been a buzz with a certain topic, which is the prevalence of really bad lyrics in contemporary hit songs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Recently we discussed Benson Boone's Mystical Magical, which contains the much disparaged couplet, Moonbeam ice cream taking off your blue jeans. Like moonbeam ice cream taking off your blue jeans, dancing at the movies. He is an old Navy commercial. Oh, shots fired. And we've discussed the AI-generated quix.
Starting point is 00:02:11 quote unquote band Velvet Sundown, who racked up hundreds of thousands of listens on Spotify, despite having such questionable quatrains as the following from their song, Rebel, shout. I feel like the AI is more hallucinatory than the 1960s. Yeah. And data scientists have even tried to argue that this is an identifiable phenomenon. An article from the journal Scientific Reports last year surveyed, 12,000 songs over the last 40 years and concluded that lyrics are becoming more simple, more negative, and more repetitive. Huh.
Starting point is 00:03:02 So Charlie, Sam, I think our task today is twofold. Okay. One, is it true that we are at an all-time low for lyrical quality in pop, or have crappy lyrics always been a part of our musical landscape? And then, two, I want to know what we can learn about the art of lyricism by studying closely some of its greatest misfires. Oh, this is going to be fun. To accomplish this, we've asked listeners to submit their candidates for the worst lyrics ever, and we were inundated with over 100 examples of epically bad verse. This is some of the most fun I've ever had prepping an episode. Thank you to everyone who sent in a bad lyric. Here's what I propose. I will try and categorize
Starting point is 00:03:43 these, and after we listen, let's try and decide, are these truly bad, or is there some possible redemption here? I do think that, like, we might be in a low point. for lyrics because in my casual reporting with friends of mine who teach the youth, they all say that no one is reading books anymore. And so there's a whole generation, I think, that is growing up video first, audio first, and the reading has been diminished. So I wouldn't doubt it. Not the hate on the kids, but I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:04:18 And we've talked about it on the pod, you know, when you listen to an artist like Charlie XCX, They're drawing more in the world of text messages than they are on the world of Chaucer and Shakespeare. We live in a post-literate world in many ways. That said, though, it's all about an artist's delivery. Like, my favorite album of the last year was the remix album of Brat. And I'll be the first to tell you, lyrics aren't particularly Charlie's Forte, but she makes the lyrics become part of such an immersive musical world. I like it.
Starting point is 00:04:48 So already you're raising an important distinction, Sam. Is it the lyric or the delivery? How will we separate that? And also, you're making me think, like, what is the function of the song? If lyrics are becoming more simple and repetitive, maybe that's because music is becoming more dance-oriented, more of a background phenomenon.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Like, there could be a lot of reasons for this. But let's take this one at a time. I have an opening category that I'm calling the jarring lyric. And this is something I noticed in our submissions. And a lyric where there's a word or a phrase that just takes you out of the song because it's so weird, unexpected, or maybe unpleasant. Let's start with a song by the 90s rock band Live called Lightning Crashes. I love this song so much. Lightning, crashes, or bliss into the falls to the floor.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Oh. Also, can I just say, I've loved this song for years. I've never heard the word placenta in the song until you pointed it out now. Wow. This is the first lyric of this song. Literally, I've loved this song, and I just never hear it. I think my subconscious blacks out that word. What is this song about?
Starting point is 00:06:17 Life. Life and death. The beauty of it all. I think it is. You know, I think it's about the simultaneity of things happening. The fortune, the good and the bad. occurring simultaneously, but man, this is a wild way to start a song. Lightning crashes, a new mother cries, her placenta falls to the floor. This was submitted by Ben, and it is a truly jarring lyric,
Starting point is 00:06:43 I think. It grabs you by the collar. Wow. Well, now I'm looking at the full lyrics of the song. Yes. All I really knew was the chorus, because I think it's one of the most powerful choruses of that genre of 90s rock. And even the chorus, once I look at it, doesn't make sense. Thunder Thunder chasing the wind Fills are falling from the center of the earth I get I can feel it
Starting point is 00:07:19 Thunder doesn't chase the wind Thunder is faster than the wind It is a sound wave Thunder is faster than the wind That's science Sorry, it's science Oh, thanks, Sam. Yeah, as a musician, you should know of how sound waves work, probably.
Starting point is 00:07:38 This whole thing is just like a bunch of mixed metaphors, and too many of them. I take my theory back. Maybe there have always been bad lyrics. It's not just now. Mixed metaphors, really useful for communicating a mental state of confusion. There is a place for the mixed metaphor, absolutely. But it can also be a sign of you don't quite have full command over exactly. what you're trying to say.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And maybe it doesn't matter if we're all singing along at the top of our lungs because something like lightning crashes, that song explodes. Like lightning crashing. But isn't it the thunder that crashes, the lightning doesn't make sound? Oh, yeah. See? See? Wait, what's lightning?
Starting point is 00:08:16 Lightning strikes and thunder crashes. Yeah. Wait, wait a minute. This dude, where is his AP English teacher? You got away with murder on this one. Yeah. But it does bring up a theme that I think will recur throughout this conversation. which is you can say, yeah, that lyric's bad.
Starting point is 00:08:33 It doesn't make sense. It's got the science wrong. And yet, does it matter? Maybe not. Can you shut off your brain? Absolutely. Yeah. All right, here's another jarring lyric submitted by Nina.
Starting point is 00:08:45 This is going to take us back to the 1970s. It's Captain and Teneal's muskrat love. What is about to happen? Muscat love. Muscat, muskrat. Kindle line doing the town and doing it right in the it's pretty pleasing Wow! Explanation, please.
Starting point is 00:09:16 What? What? Nina's gloss on this one, she says, They lost me at muskrat, as in the first word of the song. Well, then they go on to name people with the muskrat as a part of the moniker of... What? Wow. Yeah, this is a really bizarre song.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It's really jarring. It has some really upsetting lyrics. Arguably, a song about muskrat love should never have been written. And not only was it, it was a huge hit for Captain and Teneal in the 1970s, folks. I've gone to the Wikipedia page. Yes. According to them, quote, the song depicts a romantic liaison between two anthropomorphic musrats named Susie and Sam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:01 The song was originally titled Muskrat Candelite. What? Yeah. This feels like it was made for a really cheesy, like kids animated film. Yeah. Yeah, there's no allegory here. It's not like the muskrats represent Vietnam veterans or something. They are literal muskrats in love.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Ooh. Wait, one of them is Sam. Oh, yeah. This one's for you, Sam. Yeah, Sam and Susie. For the rest of this episode, I shall be referred to as muskrat. Must Grat Sam. Muskrat Sam.
Starting point is 00:10:45 You know, I've never heard a song like that, so I got to give it something. Yes. Muskrat love. It defies all the odds. I find it very jarring, like Nina. Yeah. And yet it doesn't seem to matter. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Here's one more in this category. We're going to move into the 1980s, and we're going to listen to a song by John Mellencamp called Jack and Diane. Oh, yeah. Sucking on Chili Dog Outside takes to freeze Diane sitting on Jackie's lap Got his hands between knees All right
Starting point is 00:11:20 This is submitted by Ainsley Sucking on Chili Dogs From Jack and Diane Is the most perverse And stupid lyric I've ever heard in my life But you gotta go after that After he says that line
Starting point is 00:11:32 He says Diane sitting on Jackie's lap He's got his hands between her knees Coming in hot Wow So while they're sucking on the chili dogs, he's also fondling her. There's a lot happening. But man, that image of sucking on a chili dog is really jarring. Another song that I know musically, but have never listened to closely or thought about the lyrics.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Yeah. I know Jack and Diane. I've seen friends singing at karaoke. Yeah. I never registered that. And there's so many other masticating words that we could have used, munching, chewing on a chili dog if you wanted to get some alliteration. Calm me crazy. How about eating a chili dog? Eating.
Starting point is 00:12:13 You know? Maybe. No, it's sucking on chili dogs. A sentence, I'm sorry to burn into your brain forever after. This has been noted before as a particularly objectionable lyric. And the YouTube TikTok musical comedian Tom McGovern honored this lyric with his own rendition of the song, which I'll play. for you now. Sucking on a chili dog.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Sucking on a chili dog. Sucking on a chili dog. Sucking on a chili dog. Sucking on a chili dog. Okay, so that goes on for another two minutes. Take it back. Great lyric. I'm just stunned.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I want a t-shirt that says, like I'm a chili dog. After a lifetime growing up on classic rock radio, I've heard this song so many times and how did I let this slip by. It says something about my own comprehension of lyrics, which makes me a really poor judge, I think, for this entire episode, I'm realizing. But, I mean, this speaks to a larger point that I'm feeling with this whole episode. Like, all three of us are musicians.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Yeah. Charlie, you write songs. Nate, you teach music. I majored in music. And I feel like if we miss the lyrics, it's speaking to what is the reality of, like, pop music. The lyrics matter late. They matter less. And I'm going for vibes, and I don't care if the words are good or bad, as long as the delivery of the words makes them singable for me.
Starting point is 00:13:49 So if they don't matter that much, all the more invitation to just trash on the ones that are particularly bad. Now I'm kind of like, I want to award a pop star for sneaking in really absurd lyrics. Like, you got one over on us. Yeah, for sure. You won. Well, it's not like these songs are obscure, forgets. gotten tracks because, you know, they had a phrase that turned people off so much that no one listen to it. These are massive hits. Yeah. So, sucking on a chili dog, didn't turn anyone
Starting point is 00:14:19 off from Jack and Diana. All right, let's move to another category. We'll call it the mangled metaphor section. And let's start with a song by Fergie called Big Girls Don't Cry. Are you suggesting there's any issue with this metaphor of a kid crime because someone's taken their blanket away? You have like so many children. You must know exactly this pain. I do. I do. I have somewhere between two and five children.
Starting point is 00:15:11 So I do relate to this sentiment. I just, it's a weird deployment in the context of a romantic love song. I think our listener who submitted this said this line, I'm going to miss you like a child misses their blanket. makes me rage. And then they say, to be fair, it may be how it's sung, but even still, it's a trifling lyric. So maybe, Sam, what you were saying earlier, maybe it's also the delivery of this line
Starting point is 00:15:36 that is particularly objectionable. Should we listen to it one more time? Let's do it. Like a child miss is there, blanket. But every song delivery from Fergie in that era was a little bit too much. Yes. It was just like, can you calm?
Starting point is 00:15:58 down. Also, though, if we're talking about worst furgy lyrics, I have to offer up the chorus of London Bridge, a song I like. That, to me, is a worst furgy lyric. She's calling her downstairs parts the London Bridge. I'll see your London
Starting point is 00:16:24 Bridge and raise you Akesha's Timber. Two songs that if they came on in De Clurb, you dance to. Yeah, absolutely. It's going down. I'm yelling timber. I won't remember. You won't forget. I think it's Pitbull.
Starting point is 00:16:47 featuring Keshah, actually. Pardon me. Let's make a night you won't remember. I'll be the one you won't forget. But you won't remember, so you're going to forget. Well, Fergie's London Bridge, yes, I'm glad you brought that up, Sam. I do send, there's a theme in her work of, like, taking these children's rhymes and making them really uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Yeah. Let's move to another singer who kind of exists in a similar world to Keshah and Fergie. It's Katie Perry. A number of listeners submitted the opening lyric of her massive hit, Firework. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Yeah, that's a dumb lyric. That is the first line of this, again, massive, massive hit.
Starting point is 00:17:45 And a really good song. And a really good song. We should listen to the chorus, right? Yeah. That is a wonderful chorus. That is a chorus that anyone can belt and everyone should belt. It's a wonderful chorus. It just goes to show you can have an amazing song.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Yeah. With a bad lyric in it. However, maybe in defense of this lyric, is this like an allusion to American Beauty, the film, where there's that home video of the plastic bag, and it's a metaphor for everything that's fleeting in life? Is that what they're alluding to? This bag was just dancing with me.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Sure, let's say that. Now that you've mentioned it, Charlie, I am almost positive. That is the case. I wonder, is she talking about recycling? Because after she says, did you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Is she urging all of us to reduce, reuse, and recycle, even recycling our negative feelings into positive ones? Maybe she's much deeper than we think. Yeah, I think of her as someone, you know, who loves the environment.
Starting point is 00:19:10 She's constantly going on Jeff Bezos's yacht because she loves nature so much. So, yeah, she's like an eco-warier, basically. Oh, yeah. I will say, I saw her live once. Not a bad show. Our producer Rihanna Cruz also just got back from the Katie Experience in Los Angeles and was blown away. And so I think I need to see her life. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:32 One last category of bad lyric. Let's call it the rhyming catastrophes. My favorite category. I want to actually start with one of my own. I read an interview with Elton John's long-time lyricist, Bernie Toppin. And he went off on some of his least favorite lyrics, which I loved. And one of his was Billy Joel, Piano Man, this line. It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man sitting next to. to me making love to his tonic and gin. Bernie Tauffin says, Billy Joel writing Making Love to His Tonic and Gin instead of gin and Tonic in Piano Man, one of the worst ever. Because who says Tonic and Gin? I'd kill myself rather than do that. I mean, what I found offensive was the idea of making love to a drink. The making love gives me more pause. He's combining the jarring lyric with the rhyming catastrophe. Okay. There's so many times when a song does something
Starting point is 00:20:39 really strange lyrically, and it's because the songwriter is trying to make a rhyme. Rhymes can be so rewarding, and they can also be really deadly. Nikolai submits an example from MacArthur Park by Richard Harris. Do you all know this one? Kind of a 1960s counterculture? I'm not sure. Someone left the cake out in the rain I don't think that I can take it Because it took so long to bake it And I'll never have the recipe again This guy's incensed
Starting point is 00:21:21 He's so sad about his cake Oh man Someone left the cake out in the rain Just go get the cake Go to a bakery It's going to be okay Is the cake MacArthur Park Because he says
Starting point is 00:21:31 MacArthur Park is melting in the dark. Yeah, I think the cake represents... What does it represent? Please tell me. Oh, man, I got nothing. It's the lost dream of the 60s free love movement. It's melting in the dark. It can't be baked again.
Starting point is 00:21:49 I guess it's both a weird metaphor and a bad rhyme. And I sympathize. Having written songs, sometimes you get locked in. You put the cake in the song, and then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, no. Now I'm locked into bake and take. It's tough to make good rhymes. And to that end, we've got another submission for the song Sharks by Imagine Dragons,
Starting point is 00:22:12 which starts with the following stanza. Oh, man. You know what? all is forgiven because the only thing I hear is that epic bass line. Great baseline. Yeah. I think we can excuse a little misplaced rhyme and misplaced declamation as long as you're grooving. Who cares? You're okay with rhyming levels with swevels?
Starting point is 00:22:47 And then after that, he says, dancing with the very devil, butter to knife. What? Butter to knife. What? The cake is coming back. The word life has gotten songwriters in trouble for decades. It's a tough one. You want to put the word life in your song because it's such a powerful word.
Starting point is 00:23:06 And then as soon as you do, you only have two options, wife or knife. Damn. You're right. It's beguiled a lot of songwriters over the years. You've got to target the I.
Starting point is 00:23:14 So you get like a contrived in life. Something like that, you can create something new. But yes, you have to avoid the sort of four-letter rhyme. This is why the man is literally a professor of songwriting, folks. Bubbles, drowning.
Starting point is 00:23:27 You're seeing doubles. Don't you let them see your struggles hiding your teeth. Crisis, take advantage of your niceness, cut you up and even slices. Ooh. Pray on your fears. Sam. I want an album of Sam Sanders dramatically reading Imagine Dragon lyrics.
Starting point is 00:23:44 The chorus reads, He's coming to get you, chick, chick, a whoop, whoop. He's coming to get you, get you, chicka whoop. Wow. Wow. So speaking of life, here's a song that multiple people submitted, including Joe and Andy. And it is called Life by Desray. Oh yeah, I like that song. I don't want to see a ghost. It's a sight that I there most. I'd rather have a piece of toast. Watch the evening news. Okay, no, no, this makes sense. When you're having a stroke, you smell burning toast. And so if you're
Starting point is 00:24:25 having a stroke, seeing a ghost, maybe eating toast, it all works together, I swear. I don't. I don't want to see a ghost. And to close it out with the evening news. Wow. Again, I sympathize. You know, you're writing a song. You put in ghosts and then you go, okay, what's next? Most.
Starting point is 00:24:42 And then you're like, uh-oh. Toast. All right. We got it. Print it. Let's go. That might be my least favorite yet because, wow. And I like her.
Starting point is 00:24:52 I like Desiree a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. Desiree Hive, rise up. We're big fans. Yes. You got to be. You got to be fans. You're going to be born.
Starting point is 00:25:00 We have been accused of sipping on too much Haterade in a few recent episodes. Uh-oh. We're not here to put down anyone. Bad lyrics happen to good people. Again, it's about trying to understand how bad lyrics work and why we so frequently don't care about them.
Starting point is 00:25:18 That is ultimately the goal here. It's not to put anyone down, right? I support all of these artists, all of these songs. Even London Bridge going to go down, come down, whatever, I will still say to the world. That's a great song. Keep that in mind because we're going to take a quick break and then come back to listen to the Holy Trinity of bad lyrics. And it's going to test our ability to find love in our hearts for some of our favorite songwriters.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Uh-oh. Attention Spotify. Has arrived a new Good Girl Jasmine Absolute of Carolina Herrera. A fragrance intense with character Gourman and addictive. Imagine a jasmine emvolventy, caramelized and tonka-tostada. A combination that seduce from the first instant and a behaweller. Good Girl Jasmine Absolute, Hypnotic, Irresistible. Discover it today and let's
Starting point is 00:26:11 Envolver for your sentia. Convier Conviette your passion in a new business with Shopify and batte records of ventas with the form
Starting point is 00:26:22 of the market with the most has heard well. The Morgon the world.
Starting point is 00:26:29 The incredible system of Shopify facilita the purchase in your website, in the
Starting point is 00:26:33 social and in in in the music for your ears no you
Starting point is 00:26:38 do you do your new success your Empea. Empea to period of
Starting point is 00:26:43 per day for a euro a month in Shopify pointe bar records. Immigration may be
Starting point is 00:26:50 Donald Trump's signature issue President Trump is now targeting predominantly Democratic cities for
Starting point is 00:26:55 ice raids and deportations of protesters clashing with immigration and customs enforcement
Starting point is 00:27:00 agents in Minneapolis Tuesday. We will begin the process of returning millions
Starting point is 00:27:04 and millions of criminal aliens back to the places from which they came.
Starting point is 00:27:10 But what we want to do in this space is talk about America and politics beyond the current president. So what do most Americans think about deportation and border security, period? I think that Americans are definitely against the kind of violent displays that we've seen in the street from ICE. When it comes to the question of deportation, the answer is more complicated.
Starting point is 00:27:30 My sense is that people want border at the border. They don't like the idea of having no idea who's coming into the United States at any given time. the view on immigration from the bottom up instead of the top down. That's this week on America Actually, every Saturday in your audio and video feeds. All right, in all of the submissions we got, there were three artists who came up again and again. So I want to listen to a couple examples from each of these three musicians. The first is a band called One Direction. Spare the boys.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Here's their song, Don't Forget Where You Belong, which has, one line that left a lot of our listeners wanting. Is it? Is the proof in the song? Bold claim. It's a bold claim when the song says, if you ever feel alone, don't. Wow.
Starting point is 00:28:45 That's their advice. Okay, but perhaps more egregious is the verse of their song, Little Things. I know you've never loved. The crinkles by your eyes. When you smile, you've never loved, your stomach or your thighs. The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine, but I'll love them endlessly. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Bold gambit here. The word spine throws me off. It's sinister, right? Yeah. Well, it continues in the second verse. I know you never love the sound of your voice on tape you never want. To know how much you wait, you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you're perfect to me. This is a song about a peeping Tom.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Yeah. This person needs to run away. This is bad news. Also, there's a whole genre of men making songs with the premise of, hey, girl, you're actually hotter than you think. I always find it so condescending. Yeah, so belittling. Well, Ed Sheeran is the songwriter here, so maybe. I don't want to lay this at the feet of the Boys of One Direction is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Blame them all. All right. This is going to be controversial, folks. The musician who got the most submissions was none other than Taylor Swift, who I think is lauded as one of the great lyricists of the 21st century. But according to our listeners, there's a few missteps here. One of them is in the song Willow. I do hate that lyric. Haley says the rest of the song is so fluid
Starting point is 00:30:39 and nothing is specific or necessarily contemporary, then that line takes me out every time. The way it's delivered, because she delivers it with the like, I know I just made a good lyric. Like the delivery. Here's another similar example from anti-hero. Why is a baby sexy? It's a baby.
Starting point is 00:31:08 It was a meme at the time, wasn't it? Sexy Baby? Yeah. What's that meme? It was a character from a 30 Rock episode. Some people thought that might be the reference she was making. Oh. And the whole sexy baby thing isn't an act.
Starting point is 00:31:23 I'm a very sexy baby. But for a lot of listeners, similar to Willow, it kind of like took them out of the song when she's all of a sudden talking about the sexy baby. I personally love that lyric. The song is so good, it doesn't matter. Like, this is also a song in dire news. of a baseline because it doesn't have one, and you still like it. A good song.
Starting point is 00:31:43 It's like the hook burrows into you either way. My thing with Taylor Swift, it's like her lyrics are either exquisite poetry or the things you might read on the back of a Starbucks cup. There's no in between. Well, where does this example from, I Hate It Here, Fall? My friend used to play a game. We wish we could live 1830s and getting married is best. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Is she going to get married on a plantation? I mean, she's friends to Blake lively. Or used to be. That's pretty egregious. And then there's a Taylor Swift lyric that was so bad that she actually took it out of the song when she re-recorded it. Oh, wow. The first single from her album lover, Me, exclamation point. If you listen to the official version of that song, you will not find that line,
Starting point is 00:32:57 Hey, kids, spelling is fun. It was removed from the track. People hated it that much. People hated it that much, Sam. Wow. I mean, that's like hating the ketchup on a shitburger. It's a shitburger already. I like a lot of Taylor Swift songs, but this is one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard in my life.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Yeah, we just did a whole episode dedicated to the lyrical brilliance of Taylor Swift with Jensen McCray. So go listen to that. But we can acknowledge that maybe there were a few misfires over the years. Now we arrive at the most lyrically maligned band of all. Any guesses? I don't know. I mean, I'll be terrible and mean, but Nirvana smells like teen spirit is complete nonsense. Ooh. I mean, it's more a vibe. Even Kurt Cobain was like, oh yeah, I just like make up a bunch of words, smash them together and meaning arises. Didn't expect for Nirvana to be catching strays here. but your point is well taken. Let's listen to three songs from a band called Train.
Starting point is 00:33:59 And let's start with Hey, Soul, Sister. Oh, yeah. You know the internet has a big theory about this song. Say more, please. Their theory is that this songwriter is writing about the first time he was romantically involved with a woman who is not white. Well, there is some evidence later in. the song for that interpretation.
Starting point is 00:34:45 That's one you re-record. Now you can't unhear it. Nope. It's not the worst lyric of all of them, surprisingly. How about I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out of my untrimmed chest? Ew. Ew. Message to Soul Sister, wherever you are.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Run away? You don't need this man. All right. Here's another train song. called Meet Virginia. to fight this man. What are you doing? Yeah, two presidents is bad. Wrestling alligators, working on carburetors, you know, maybe we'll give it to you. But rhyming president and president, it's rough. But his delivery is so confident. Well, I think that's the difference between train and
Starting point is 00:36:07 Nirvana. It's like, Nirvana's not trying to say anything profound. Train, you're like, wow, this guy is so proud of these lyrics. Yeah. And then there's drops of Jupiter, parentheses, tell me. A truly brilliant song. She checks out Mozart while she does Taibo. Wow. And then there's... We're going to deep fried chicken, aren't we? So 90s.
Starting point is 00:36:48 It's like mid to late 90s mad lips. Lyrical mad lips. Just filling in blanks. Oh, but it's from 2001. I'm wrong, but it feels like an episode of Friends. Yeah. Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken? I'm so confused by that line.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Then first dance, freeze-dried romance. What the fuck is freeze-dried romance? It's nothing. It's absolute nonsense. It's the discomfort you feel in your first dance at a high school dance and you kind of frozen in place because you don't know how to act because you're uncomfortable in your own body. Work with me here. The soy latte is not doing anything good for anybody. But it kind of matches with the personality of the person who tries on Mozart and also does Thai beau and drinks a soy latte. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:43 I mean, folks, these three songs collectively have over three billion plays on Spotify. Yeah. It doesn't matter. You could write the worst lyric ever and have the biggest song of all time. And this is kind of where I'm arriving at the end of this tour through some of the most aggressively bad lyrics. It's really kind of unimportant. Makes me feel, well, so what's the point, you know, of trying to write a good lyric? Why do we do this?
Starting point is 00:38:12 Right. But also it's kind of liberating, you know? It's like the beauty of these songs is in the way we improve. embrace them for all of their flaws and their weirdness. Yeah. I mean, I would take it even further and say, if you are currently a songwriter trying to write great lyrics, try less hard. Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Wow. That's freeing too, right? Right, because you ain't got to be Shakespeare to make a hit, as we have proven in this episode. All right. I feel like we're all exhausted from plumbing the depths of crappy rhymes, mangled metaphors, and jarring lyrics, but is there anything we missed in the annals of pop here? I have two quick ones. My forever, oh my God, that's a bad lyric, is part of the chorus of the Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
Starting point is 00:39:04 classic Empire state of mind. When she sings concrete jungles where dreams are made of, you don't end that phrase in a preposition. And I think what you mean to say, Alicia, is that you go. whether to realize dreams, not make them. Then she follows it up with, there's nothing you can't do. That's a double negative. There's a better way to express what you're feeling.
Starting point is 00:39:37 I have always taken pause when I hear that lyric, even though I belt it. Concrete jungles where dreams come true and then rhyme with true. It's right there. It's right there. Get Sam in a song camp, folks. Sam has an alternative career as an English teacher. I love it. Charlie, you got anything for us before we go?
Starting point is 00:39:58 You started with a question about do we live in a time of particularly bad lyrics? And I think in many ways, you've disproved that. Like, Muscat Love. We didn't even talk about the Gershwin Blah, Blah, Blah song. There's so many songs that are just ridiculous throughout human history. I heard a lyric recently that really did me bad that I don't think is going to reflect well upon this moment. It's M.GK's cliche. Will you take us to the second verse?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Your name is a neon light in the sky with darkness surrounds us. Let's sleep this town get Mary go to Vegas to create nostalgia. No. Isn't that one special? No. You don't create nostalgia. You feel nostalgia for events that have already been created in the past. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Is our children learning, to quote George W. Bush. Wow. All right. Again, everyone who wrote us with the bad lyric, thank you. There were more than we could get to, but man, I had so much fun reading and listening to them. Thank you, Charlie and Sam, for coming on this journey with us, exposing your ears to these potentially life-threatening lyrics. But I come away with this with a great sense of positivity, actually. It was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:41:23 because these are worth celebrating. It's like good, bad, these are all unforgettable. Long live bad lyrics. Yes, long live bad lyrics. This has been awesome. So I mentioned that we didn't even get to all the listener submissions. But it's very easy to see all of them. Simply sign up for our substack newsletter.
Starting point is 00:41:49 You can find a link in our show notes or our website, switchonpop.com. It's a really great way to waste an hour. Just going through this list of bad lyrics that people sent in. Super fun. It's in the chat. And man, Sam Sanders, go listen to his show, The Sam Sanders Show, on KCRW. We'll pop a link to that in our show notes as well. Yeah, he's one of the best music interviewers out there as well, so definitely want to check out all of his music interviews.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Indeed. Switched on Pop is produced by Rianna Cruz, edited by Art Chung, engineered by Brandon McFarlane, illustrations by Iris Gottlieb, the music by Jossi Adams and Zach Tenario of Arc Iris or a member of the Vox Media Podcast Network and produced by New York Magazine's Vulture. You can subscribe to New York Magazine at NYMag.com slash pod. We'll be sucking on chili dogs
Starting point is 00:42:33 with sexy babies and coming back like a 90s trend, a ghost eating toast. Every Tuesday, there's a new episode waiting for you. They're not always as cantankerous and jovial as this. Usually we do hard-hitting musical,
Starting point is 00:42:51 analysis about top 40 pop and yeah tune in tune in because it's a mixed bag folks we'll see you next Tuesday and until then thanks for listening

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.