Table Read - Featuring: Jenkins & Jonez Podcast | 1996 Bracket Winner + Fake 49ers Player

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

www.patreon.com/jenkinsandjonez to unlock more episodes We talked about the 1996 Bracket ending, the fake 49ers player, and our Dookie Butts of the Week. YouTube link: https://youtube.com/live/Y0_NaK71Ync?feature=share Find the Show: Jenkins & Jonez PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. The long loading times. The glitchy video calls. That's your house asking for better internet. Switch to Bell Pure Fiber, Canada's most reliable internet awarded by Open Signal, from $75 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for more details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Lisa? Tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angela Geratana. Jeremy Colhain, Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artist on Artist Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists Every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour.

You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Jenkins. Finger guns. Bigger pistols, you love. This might be your own thing, like the last like three openings, right?

Am I tripping? Big energy from this guy. I don't know. Just gets me like, like, you know? It's not like an American sickness that I just like, you just shoot some fake guns to start the podcast. Jesus Christ, yeah. That'll get the energy flowing. Sometimes like the blood pumping.

The place that podcast came from, like the origins of something, sometimes just deep into you without even realizing it, you know? It's like that's the origins of podcast and it just sort of like inhabiting. Yeah, I don't know. It just, yeah, the spirit was moving through me. Welcome to Jenkins and Jones independently owned an operator. It says 2025. It is Sunday, August 30th.

And we have got the championship results from Beast Bracket 3, the 1996 edition. And you won't believe who won 1996. You won't believe it. As always, we're hosted by Legerthro Jenkins, aka John. What's that, Bubba's? I'm Garty B, aka Mike. Mother fucking Mike. Mike.

And we're produced, as always, by the lovely and talented Jackson Saffling. What a grizzly beard, Jackson Saffon. It just needs a trim, that's all. You think so? I mean, it definitely does. Is it going over the front lip? Yeah, it's been over the front lip. Like I was saying to Mike before, like,

I just knew I needed to trim it around this time we're about to go on a trip. And it was sort of an in-between amount of time where I was like, it was like a week out. And I was like, oh, I don't really want to trim it now. The time he's going to be off. Now I've waited well past the threshold. It's not like it's that big of a deal,

but it definitely needs a trip. Meanwhile, John got run over by a lawnmower, as my grandfather would say. Hey, somebody said I'm looking overly handsome. Hey, man, I really appreciate this. Oh, man. You don't get this as much no more. nigga, and this is my actual face.

You feel me? I trimmed it too low, bro. I got some big clip, and I was like, yikes. Yeah, you look something. And then you got to even it up. Yeah, I had to even it up. Then you got to thug it out type of shit.

You know what I mean? But like a motherfucking, you know what I'm saying? Like a hamburger meat. But if y'all think that's handsome, appreciate you. Rishi making the point for those who are new to Jenkins and Jones that the chat did indeed have to bully Jackson into growing that beard out. That is true. But, yeah, I mean,

blessings. Probably the simplest way to describe it. Yeah, I don't know how I'm like to describe it like that. But that's probably the simplest way. Yeah, I would tell you so. I owe the chat a lot. I owe the chat a lot. I owe the chat, me getting a PS5 and me having this beard.

So two of your top five possessions. I put the pressure on you. I put the real pressure on you. I really feel like I was like, nigga. Fuck is wrong with you, man. That shit looked good as hell. You was lying to yourself. Okay.

I think that's, I agree now. I'm happy with it. But I've looked back at some of the pictures from the very early days of it. not recently, but at some point a while back, I looked up back to the pictures. It was pretty, pretty thin and bare, you know, early on. You guys were hyping it up. We can see a vision, though.

We just saw it. I feel like it's more seeing potential than you. You were projected. Okay. So, we saw that. Yeah. Had the natural ability. Okay.

You guys, yeah, yeah. You guys definitely saw. Future all NBA. We saw it, we saw it. We saw into the future in an impression. I looked back. You know what I mean? They didn't look that good.

Wingspan was. four inches longer than your height, you know? Like, CKP said, imagine if Jackson showed up clean-shaven, I did genuinely consider this for my 30th birthday as a bit because it does obviously, it would obviously make me look a lot younger. And I really considered it. And then when I voiced that sort of thought process to my girlfriend Kim, she gave me a look like I had murdered someone.

Don't even fucking think about that. I told you all what Shar said. Wasn't she halfway? Like, was she like, I don't know at first? Yes, at first she was like, I don't know. And then once it filled in. Once it filled in. Correct.

I told you all with Sharsa, I have been clean-shamed one time in the very long time that my wife and I have been together. She was not a fan of it. No one was a fan of it, actually, because I had a goatee since I was like 15 years old. It was like, no one had ever seen it. We saw it.

We saw it in a picture with a, that picture is. That picture's crazy, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, Ms. Han. Yeah. Han, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Shut out. But, uh, Sharr said, I was like, I made a joke at some point about shaving my face again. And she said,

you can't do that because when you do that, people see us together and think that you must be rich. That's what she said. That's so crazy. That's the last feedback I need. I actually shave my shit,

like for a Yahoo, like, holiday party. I was, I forgot to take this. And I shamed all of it off. Like it was, whoa. I'm just my butt naked. I didn't even a shadow. You feel? Oh. You're so baby faced. You're so baby face when you completely shave your face. Rather like still jokes about that sometimes. I'm sure I would too. No, that is this. It's not a, yeah, not, not, not my best day. I am going to show up with the shaved head one day. And you guys is just going to happen one day. And you guys are going to just. Shaped head. I will. I will. Yeah. That's something.

That should have probably be fire on you. Is your head Wapside it? Don't know? You got a... You don't know what you? Okay. I think you probably be fired with a beard. It's been a long time.

It's been a look, Nicky. I've been saying it for a long time. I haven't done it. But at some point, it's just going to happen. I'm trying to show up one day with it. We are without Dragonfly Jones, aka Tyler. It is he and his lovely wife's anniversary. And so we wish them a happy anniversary and a lovely dinner.

Mrs. Jones and Mr. Jones and Mr. Jones. Mr. and Mr. This is Jones and in Jenkins and Jones tradition, we're all going to go around and say one thing that we love about Tyler. Hmm, forgot about this. My favorite bit. Don't make me go first. I forgot about that.

My favorite bit because of how much. Do we, have we done it with Tyler? No. Has he missed? He hasn't. We've done it with each of years. It's a pretty new, it's a new tradition. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. This is a very superficial thing, and I'll probably circle back and say something more serious after you guys say your things. But I was just saying that John called me last week and we were talking about him being on that screen time reducing device for his phone. And I told,

I told John, I was like, I truly don't know why I'm on Twitter because I'm friends in real life with the only interesting person remaining on that app. It's like, I don't need.

to see what Tyler tweets about something. You can just text that nigga, bro. Because he's my friend, and he has like a one-of-one brain. He's like one of the most interesting people I've ever known. And I'm one of the people that's lucky enough to not need. When you put it like that, when you put it like that, it is really like, because now I would go to Twitter maybe to see people's reactions about a thing, right?

But you could just text Tyler, what do you, did you see this? And you could have the best hour of your life in front of it. No, I put it on the topic. list. Let's talk about Spider-Man on Thursday, bro. Yeah, that was really thoughtful stuff about Spider-Man. Yeah, anyway, John. I mean, I don't think there's a nigga that's more solid, like, morally. You feel me?

Like, I just really feel like he's just a good person to its core. Like, he's so thoughtful and considerate and just truly kind. And I feel like there's just not, I don't think there's ever been people kind like that. Just genuinely. There's ever been a lot of people like that. You know what I mean? But I just think he's a truly kind,

like morally like sound like solid motherfucker, man. You know what I'm saying? So like I said, like that's why I wanted him to be like my, my, I said a couple of times, that's why I want to be my kid's godparent. You know what I mean? Godfather. Because, you know, like I might go left.

Nigger, try to make some shit shake with these. babies, but Tyler makes sure they don't follow me. And I can count on that completely. You know what I mean? So, yeah, man. I was going to be sort of something in a similar vein of he is such a thoughtful friend. He's so thoughtful as a friend. And the thing that he brings up multiple times just sort of casually when we talk about it, and I don't know a way to bring attention to it, but just because of how true it is to Tyler,

is he talks about how he would bring a gift for Shola. as a god-parent and he was like every time i'm of course i'm bringing a gift for so me i'm not going to show up without a gift for so me also i'm just like and i'm also just not a gift person like that's not my receiving i'm just it's just like sort of a miss for me hand up about it you know and so i every time he says that which is not happened a couple times i'm like wow this is such a thoughtful person who really wants to just be as sweet and kind and express his love to to all of the people in his life yeah for sure all right and i know tyler's going to listen this.

It'll make him nice and uncomfortable. Why are men so bad? I don't know if Tyler is... I know. Tyler might not even be uncomfortable. I think he'll appreciate it. I think he's like...

His thing, like if somebody says something nice to him, he can't not respond to it because yeah, like he's... I don't know, but yeah, I think he'll appreciate it. Yeah. All right. Shall we, before we get to the results of the beast bracket, Patreon.com slash Jenkins

Jones, $10 a month gets you the following things. two extra episodes every week. Commercial free episodes, including of the Sunday free pots. Correct. Access to the Discord, which is more and more unhinged

and hilarious by the week. Always having a great time on the Discord. And starting this week, I will be posting in the Discord books that Sharr and I are giving away for free because we're pairing down our book collection and people on the Discord can claim them. They've been asking.

They asked me to do that on the book thread. We have some good shit that we're giving away. It's not just like old stuff, whatever. There's some good stuff. Whereas like, hey, this is a hardcover. We're going to give it to the library, whatever. Our library will only accept one bag at a time. And the amount of books that we are giving away,

it will take us a considerable amount of time to donate all the books. So the kids are selling some on eBay. We'll be donating some on the Discord to anyone who wants them. And, yeah, so anyway, patreon.com slash jengison Jones. you're all making space for new books or what are we doing here? No man, we just, you've been over like, they was just like on the floor and shit. We just hadn't, you know, you have kids

and you just have shit that piles up quite literally sometimes. So we, you won't even recognize the dining room the next time you're over. We painted it. Really? Like a whole bookshelf's worth of books. So now it's no books on the floor. You guys have so many books. We're giving away more books than probably anyone else I know owns and we still have.

More books than anybody else owns, you know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. There will also be in a few, in a couple weeks, just a light tease. Another reason to join the Patreon is there will be an announcement being made that Discord will get early, early sort of, you know, pod news that you'll have to wait, wait to see if you're not behind the paywall. I love when you do that with the glasses, bro. It really makes us realize how bad your eyesight is. It's crazy how bad might.

Your eyes feel those fucking lenses, bro. Like, it's like, geez. Jesus. Look at that. It's like a magnifying glass. Flat out, bro. That's how I got, I got both of John's kids on my side. Kids love that shit.

You pull the glasses out, make your eyes big. And they're immediately like, oh, this one, this one's got something. This is, look, I can work with this guy. He's not going to just ask me about my day and try and shake my hand, even though I'm talking about it. All right. Let's get to it. The championship results, 1996. beast bracket, beast bracket number three.

This was a fun ride all summer. Jackie, do you want to take us away? Yes, we, for those who missed the last round or whatever, we are at the final with Michael Jordan, the one seed versus Ken Griffey Jr., the eight seed, unexpected run from the eight seed. Salute. Salutes, absolutely. And, you know, there were some of us that were hoping that Ken Griffey Jr.

would be able to maybe steal something. Maybe get a sympathy, but I was hoping that. I was hoping just from a chaos perspective. Yeah. Also, I would have felt like I won a bracket that we didn't, wasn't actually in competition for. So if Ken Griffey Jr. won. But, you know, I relate to that.

It was not to be Michael Jordan. Shocker defeated Ken Griffey Jr. Would you like to guess which platform Twitter or Patreon skewed more towards Michael Jordan? It was pretty close, but I'm just curious. I would guess Twitter. I would guess Twitter as well. You're going to say Patreon.

Incorrect. Wow. Twitter had six, when 65% to Michael Jordan. Patreon 68%. Slightly more to Michael Jordan. That's closer than I thought it would be honestly. Yeah. Is that the first time Michael Jordan was under 70% on the vote?

I think maybe, yeah, I think so. A dominant run by Michael Jordan to become the king of 1996. And another dominant run. run. Anthony S won our bracket pool. Anthony, we will be emailing you as well. We will come up with some sort of prize. Congratulations for winning the bracket pool. It was actually, it was pretty dominant. He was like hundreds of points ahead of the second place. Oh, wow. He went crazy. He knew all this, he knew all the shit people were going to think that surprised us. I think he had a, he had a beat on Ken Griffey. No, yeah, we got to. Should we,

should we brainstorm it? Should we do a live brainstorm? You had an idea? trying to think something MJ related. Yeah, I could... I could look up that MJ card I said I had and see if it's worth money. And if it's worth money, then I would not send it to Anthony S. But it's worth like a reasonable amount of money. If it's worth like $30, I would send it to Anthony. I think this is a great idea.

That's a great idea. The only thing... That's so honest and hilarious. I mean, let's be real. I'm not going to send a man a $2,000 basketball. Oh, yeah. Well, so that's the only question is, are you worried about... I guess it's Michael Jordan.

the value is probably not going to spike dramatically at some point. But it's like, you know, if you gave away a Chaunty Billups card after a couple weeks in the NBA, it's like, damn, I really thought I was selling at the right value spot. But you worry about the value of that card spike it. Okay, let's, what else, what else could we do? It's something Michael Jordan related, but that would be like funny or interesting. The long loading times, the glitchy video calls. That's your house asking for better internet.

Switch to Bell Pure Fiber, Canada's most reliable internet awarded by Open Signal from $75 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for more details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi, we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youan.

We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say.

If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.

Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Deppery, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Beyer. Ooh, I scammed them.

What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents.

Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana.

Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcasts where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling?

Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too! I'm so sorry.

I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14th. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween.

sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists

on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I could sign a copy of Space Jam for him as an extra in space jam. Oh, I forgot you're an extra. What did you say what should look like, bro? You might find a lot of things in your life. If you have a signature you've used, I mean, like, not papers, but like you sign things for people.

No, my signature. You read books and shit. My signature used to be like basically my name in cursive. And then after writing the books and having to sign a lot of books for people, it is now a very abbreviated big cursive MG, basically. It's very janky looking. But you just like, you're just like, you're. Oh, okay. Well, that could be the gift.

Are you funny? He's got to be funny. He's in the chat. I mean, he wants to come on the pod. Let's just say, yeah. For sure. Okay, cool. Yeah, we'll just give him a segment.

Yeah, tap in. Okay. All right. We try to come up with some goof. He's like, can I come on a pod? Yeah, can I be on the podcast for five minutes? Very simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't go. We don't even got to get your address. Congress of Michael, Joe. No one. They thought he couldn't do it more. They thought he couldn't do it. They said that guy, he can't win this bracket. He proved them all wrong.

Yeah. Wow. All he had was, you know. Everything, niggins. All he had was everything in a dream. And it worked out. All right. Jackson, as is beast bracket tradition, has cut together a special video,

which will be on social media on Monday. But Jackson, do you want to debut that live for the people watching the close out? Close out the bracket season. Damn, bro. Look at that swing, man. Everyone's favorite. There we go.

Love to see that. That's a lot of smart. Who me? I know who she is. A favorite complination. Congrats to Michael Jordan. Congrats. He did it.

He did it. No one believed at him. Hey, I don't know if you guys have ever heard this, but he was cut off of the JV basketball team as a sophomore. And it motivated him to win this bracket. No, I think it was because at that time, I believe the freshman year was not in high school. I think that the story,

it's like he made it sound like it was this big offense. I think it was literally that the coach made him play JV as a sophomore instead of putting him straight to the varsity. I thought it was freshman, but either way. And for that, he- that's really normal when I, when I actually. He paled that man for 30 years. Yeah, the takeaway should probably not be in Michael George.

They said he got from his team, which I was like. They said he didn't make the basketball. But he just played J.V. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When really the coach did the merciful thing, I'm like, hey, man, I could put you on varsity, but you're going to be like the ninth guy or you could be the guy on JV, get a lot of reps learning the system. Like, and he shit talked that dude.

It's all the fame speech for like, half the same. It's kind of crazy. We glorified some of that stuff. I don't know. I'm just like the Kobe M.J mentality thing I feel so disconnected from at this point in my life that it's really, it's, it's starting. He was left off the varsity squad as a sophomore. How dare you? Yeah.

Yes. And yes, Miles, he was he had not yet had the gross. And do we like it was also was the team good? Like it's not. Not every sophomore. Like sometimes the high school team is really good. and then they just, you know, the upperclassmen are really good. Yeah.

Yep. The man was 5'9 as a sophomore. He was still human. Of course, yeah, it makes sense he was on JV. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Jemann was 6'4 in sixth grade. That's insane.

There's some people that have a grown man. I'm, wait, wait, wait, Michael Jordan, 5-9 sophomore. At what age do you think that, that you, John, could beat Michael Jordan in your basketball prime? You're in your basketball prime. how old Michael Jordan before he's beating you in one-on-one?

Sophomore in high school? Like he's 5-9, not beating, not making the high school team. No, no, he's killing me. No, my prime, I would have cooked him as a sophomore. That's what I'm saying. Johnny, your prime, you're probably beating a sophomore is not making varsity.

So how old? Like, right before his growth spur probably is the last moment. I mean, he was in the senior year. I'd imagine his junior year. He went crazy. Like, he probably would have smacked me my junior year. He probably grew between sophomore and junior year or something. Yeah, whenever he got over like, like, six, three,

I trust, I struggled to shoot, know, like, people were like 6-3, that was, that was a hike where I was like, nigga, I, I might not shoot that well today, nigga. Like, you feel me? Like, I'm about to shoot that bitch from the NBA line. You feel, me? Like, tried to get that motherfucker off. So, when he got to 6-3-6-4, yeah, that's where we get a little dice.

I put them in, I put them in sixth grade. I feel good. For your basketball prime? I mean, I just don't know, like, at what point, I did not have a one-on-one game. I don't have a one-on-one game either. I was a hard-fowling putback. rebounder. I don't know.

I couldn't stop him. I don't know at what age. I don't know at one age I could stop Michael Jordan on the perimeter. I'm trying to see how he might have to be in sixth grade, bro. Yeah. I'd imagine he was abnormally strong for his age, too, though, because it like, I would have been. Yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah, I mean, the strength would have probably been a bigger, a big obstacle, too. They're talking about his, his gross spurt. remember because I had the I had the VHS, the Michael Jordan playground VHS, I would watch that shit like weekly and he would talk about wanting so bad to get taller that he would

go hang on the bars on the playground. Rip the dead hangs. And just hang there and just wait. Just please like stretch out. And I was seriously doing that shit in elementary school too. Like I have to get tall.

This is how Michael Jordan did. Hey man, whatever works. You were pretty tall pretty early, so you know, whatever. Worked for you too, maybe. Yeah. Michael Jordan's brother was 5'9 dunking. It's on YouTube. Damn.

Yeah, I mean, listen. I was dunk in high school, too, and I was 5'9 foot 9. Really? You could dunk in 5'9? Damn. Yeah, I mean, I was 5'9 when I graduated. I grew two inches in college for some reason. Was that a, yeah.

I love, I love gross spurt stories. That is, like, as a sports writer, that's one of the things. I just, I love asking people because you learn so much about someone asking them, like, when did you get tall? Like, it's a total, if you were, if you got tall in fifth grade is totally different. And then like, there's people like, you know, I think Clayton Kershaw's entire gross per was between 10th and 11th grade. Like, I think he literally grew like a, like he was like five foot seven and then he was six

foot four. Like from one year. I went from 5.3 to 5.10 in the summer, basically between freshmen. in sophomore year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Michael Jordan average 27 as a junior.

Yeah. I think that's when he would have. Before that. And he was 6.3. Yeah. That was your number, bro. If he was 6.2, you might have had him, but 6.3. No, 27 in high school.

I mean, like, I don't know, bro. The athleticism would have been a problem, bro. You feel? That's what I'm saying. Like, I could absolutely see me tripping over myself. Just trying to stay in front of eighth grade. George Roe. Yeah.

I think, I think freshman or sophomore that's probably the answer for me. Probably freshman to sophomore year. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't got the hip, I don't got the hips, the band. I got none of it, brother. I didn't like, I mean, I'm sliding my ass off,

but. You would have put forth the effort. That's what you're saying. I would definitely have put forth the effort. I could promise you that much. All right. That's a great question. I've never,

I've never thought about that. It was a great question. was that Jackson's or someone in the job? Jackson. That was all Jackson, bro. Michael Jordan is not coming over the question like that. Did you see that Michael Jordan, they're not doing that NBC bullshit with him again?

Why? Because it was just so bland. It was the wacky shit of all the time. It was a lot of nothing. They spent $30 million to get clowned by all of America for how much Michael Jordan fucking played in their face. Yeah, I'll give you an hour. you cut that shit up.

Here's my only stipulations. I won't answer any interesting questions and I won't comment on anything that is happening currently. I'll talk about winning, though. Like, I could talk to you about winning. What was the purpose? Like, what did they think was going to happen with he gave him those stipulations?

They just thought because he's MJ people to lock in. Yeah. He's competing with a lot more than he was in 96. You know what I mean? As far as like people with entertainment, you know what I mean? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. All right. We do have a couple. We got a little news item to get to here and then we got to do you go by the week. News item. Okay. We're generally an anti-victim blaming podcast in all forms. God, what happened?

I am really struggling to find sympathy for the people who, got scammed by this fake 49er football player. I'm really struggling. I don't know what happened. I saw you posted it. I don't know completely what happened. I saw like, I'm like halfway between John and Michael.

That person joking or was it, but they seriously scented people with that. Was he? He scammed $1.3 million from 50 people, John. Oh, nigga. Like, okay, that's a lot of money from only 10 people. Can you explain, Mike? Yeah, I don't get that.

There was a dude. who was pretending on his Instagram to be a member of the San Francisco 49ers for the last couple of seasons. Okay? A couple of seasons. And the way he was pretending it, John, was that he was like,

he ordered himself a cake to congratulate himself for signing with the 49ers, a 49er jersey cake. He would like, he had someone film him running routes on the beach like that are like it looks like you and me running routes bro. It's like it took

him eight steps to make the post cut like and he's wearing a helmet a 49er helmet and no shirt and fucking pants. He would just like be in his car talking about like it's so hard being in the league

and like people not everyone was falling for it but apparently enough people felt for it that he's been arrested for scamming a million plus dollars out of people. But how did he scam him? Because he would be like, hey, like, you know, I'm in the NFL, this thing with my contracts going on. Like, I have a business opportunity for you, but like, I can't put my $20,000 into it right now. But like, if you send me your shit that, you know,

so if you take the football part out of it, it's a normal con man thing of like, he's pretending to be a rich guy so that people are like, oh, you know, he's good for it, whatever. But the the crazy thing about it is he's pretending to be a football player and they list the rosters of the football team on the internet. Like, that's what they do. Why would he do that so publicly knowing that if somebody tells there's footage and, like, well,

that's why he got arrested. That's so insane. Like eventually you're going to jail for this. Wouldn't you want to commit a crime that you think you can get away with? Not something that you know. No, at some point, you're going to the Who Scout, nigga, like, and you got all the documentation of all your idiots, idiocy, or your bullshit. It's so crazy.

Jackson, can you get the beach workout video? I haven't seen it. Black Winter said the beach workout videos have had me vomit laughing a whole weekend. But he also kept referring to the NFL as, quote, football. Because he was also trying to hit on women and stuff. and like someone was like, so why can't I find one video of you playing in college or the pros? And his response was,

and I quote, you must not know how football works. Okay, you're ready to watch this video? What is he? Okay. Okay. Enjoy this video, John.

Okay. Okay. Okay. For my telephone, baby, with no motor in the truck. And I go crazy. Hold on the This is this

This stride Hold on Yeah He took a Like shoulder His stride This long, bro He

Bro He Bro He Yo He He couldn't Did nothing

In a cop In a fucking Flag Football League Digg You feel Me? In her mirrors

He would have got cooked He's full. Hey, let's write that back, please. Digger, let me see it. Maw fucking cut,

oh, oh, oh, oh, shit. Hey, yo, they got scared by this,

nigga. They really didn't know how football works. He was right. Well, the other thing, okay, so this is the best part of the video

right here. This is the best part of the video right here. Yo. It's the way that this is not a, Oh, shit, Oh, shit. Why ain't got the helmet on?

He didn't think of it. What the fuck going on, bro? This is a weird world we live in. I got the right in time, dog. Right in time. I did not need to. Oh, no. That is crazy, ditty.

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Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsontario.ca. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. And I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser.

We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.

Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week, I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa, Debrie, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole By. Ooh, I scammed them. What?

I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please.

And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to last. with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana. Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald.

And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know. Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading.

So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore on 14.

That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday, and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore, though. Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up?

He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yo, yo, niggins be slow as a motherfucker. That's crazy.

Oh, man, people were falling for that bullshit. People were falling for it in 3M. More than, more than one person, more than one person was falling for it. That is crazy. Oh, shit. I got a, I might have to tap it. I'm going to turn this brick off of that. bro.

Y'all for to have me doom scrolling. I'm back on the crack, niggins. That shit crazy. Well,

it's insane how everyone Hempstism is requesting the picture of him in business cash with the helmet. People have gone

because all his stuff was public, John. And he literally was like, follow me on my journey. I'm trying to

show y'all the other side of football that people don't really see. But, like, everyone's going back and looking through everything. John, he did a turkey giveaway, bro. Like, really, really?

Or just staged that? Do we know if it's true or not? He put a flyer up, like. Bruce Wang wants a brick update. I'm going to ask John on one of the podcasts this week about the brick because I'm like 50-50 on it as well. So I said, why don't we, how about he has it a week first and then we'll

get on it. No address on the flyer. Just a place to just a place to donate money for the turkeys. Oh shit. Niggas will fall for anything, bro. Man. That's tough.

Anyway. Oh, man. I'm looking at a picture this nigga, bro. Crazy. I think the thing that's sad is he is going to get out of jail and make money off of being famous for this which I think we all should like accept now

like he was making money off of being pretend famous and like now he is like everyone's been talking about him for like four days so he is now actually famous you know like what is it? Oh God. Fame is just so weird now because there's like not oftentimes there's no talent attached to it

like how do you like It's just brazenness. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. They said he has the helmet while he's driving. Wait. Hold on. This d'nigar driving the helmet.

Shut the fuck up. Are you kidding me? I haven't seen one of him driving with it on, but he's always finding a way to position the helmet so that it's visible because he clearly spent real money on the helmet. And so that is crazy. See, I wish he wasn't actually a scammer and it was just, it was just, this was just funny. Because I do think being a producer for someone said in the chat, he should do it start an NFL player pod.

And I do think I would have a lot of fun producing like an onion style fake player podcast. But he's really scamming people. So that's not. Here's the thing, bro. And again, like, I'm a very sympathetic, empathetic person. but some people deserve to have their money stolen from them. Oh.

And if you fall for this, I will personally steal your money from you as well. Because people that are so stupid to fall for this, you didn't even need to do anything illegal to take their money, bro. Maybe them people were old, bro. That's the thing. Old people might, no, no, no, seriously, bro.

Who's been revealed as it's different with old people. I agree with you. Yeah, old people may be built. for this world, bro. Yeah, I agree. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they out here just looking like food to a scammer. It's, it's cold, it's a cold game. I, so they all, that's rough.

My mom and I have an agreement. I was like, I'll bail you out of whatever situation you need bailed, but don't have both of us out here looking stupid. Because my mom invented the phrase too stupid to live. That's like a signature saying of my mom's that she would say about people, bro. What a legend. And so. What a legend. But that's what she said.

said she said the first time she got fooled by AI, she deleted her Facebook account. Oh, that's she said? She said exactly what you said. She was like, this is not for me. I'm not going to be on here trying to figure out what's real and not real. I can see the shit outside my window is real. The shit I see in the real world is real. We talked about this, but it's getting so, like, like, I was having a conversation.

I don't say, let's have a conversation with it. I talk to you about it. Let's have a conversation with somebody. And I was like, yo, is this person real? And they were like, she looks real. like, because she's a black woman and the person that was fake and I'm like, she's bad, but I'm not attracted to her.

I don't find anything attractive about her. Like, I normally would think this person attractive, there's something awful about her. And I looked at up and she was AI. And it's like, you can tell when somebody, you know, like, it doesn't feel real. Like, she looked real, but it didn't feel real. You feel me? So like,

but I can't, it's getting cold with it, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, uh. But so that's, It was a white woman, I probably would have thought she was real. You know what I mean? You wouldn't, the sniff nest wouldn't have been there. I don't know.

Because you have to respect him. He wasn't used AI. He went to fans at the mall and paid $300 for that helmet. It's real world. You know, that episode of The Simpsons where Marge has that one Chanel outfit and she cuts it up like seven different ways. So the ladies at the country club thinks she's not poor. That was him.

He would get one piece of 49ers workout gear and he would find every different angle to shoot it from. Like, I got to get at least six videos out of this $50 workout shirt. How much you think that helmet cost? You said he spent some real money on them. Let's just get pretty expensive, right? That's why I think he was putting it in.

Like, he fake signed a contract, John. And it's like the whole time, this whole thing is public. It's all public. You can't secretly sign to the NFL. You can't do it. And Mina Kimes, friend of the show, pointed out,

it's a sick statement on how fucked up Google is that the Google AI search, he put so much fake shit out there about being on the 49ers that if you Google them, the Google AI said he was on the 49ers. The Google AI summary, which is nasty. So the only other thing I'll throw out there

because I do know how football works, you ask the pro athletes for money. They don't ask you for money. And I'm not saying me, but I'm just like, if you ever known someone who made it to the NFL, that's like a running job. I always joke.

How many cousins did you find out you had? All of a sudden. All of a sudden, they got a dad again. Nick, I ain't. What the fuck? You know what I mean? I've seen it happen. I've seen the exact scenario happen.

Draft party. Nah. Right. Who? Nope. No thanks. We just got the same last name, brother. I do not know you.

we put the reservation in for a fixed number. Anyway, shout out to this. They really didn't know how football works. Mary hit it on the head. They didn't know. All right. Duky butter the week. Should we do it?

Let's do it. Let's do it. Jackson, who's your Duky butt of the week? My Duky Butter of the Week is a co-Duky Boat of the Week. It's when Lonzo Ball and Michael Porter Jr. Oh, no. You see their thing? I did not see there.

You guys haven't seen this? I did not. I've been trying to follow up. I've been trying to talk about not like regretting big baller shoe. Yeah, that was interesting. I mean, that stuff was interesting about Lonza's life. He,

that was interesting. I didn't see anything else. But Michael Porter Jr. Hold on, hold on, hold on. This is, this is such a real comment from Dare. He said the only reason I wanted to go to the league as a kid is because I thought it would make my dad show up and I wanted the satisfaction of saying I didn't know him.

I relate to this so badly. Bro, we all need therapy. We all need therapy. We scarred. Help me with this exact issue. If you're in your 30s, is it not a little old? Just so I can shit on my father.

Like, that was the main thing. Go behind. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, it'd be like that, though. It'd be like that. It do. It do be. like that. You feel it? It really

do. Go ahead, though, Jackson. Sorry. Yeah. It's okay. So Michael Porter Jr. went on Lonzo Ball's podcast. At least that's my understanding, my read of the situation. Interesting. Interesting duo. Yeah. You know, they got a lot of thoughts. Both those guys got a lot of thoughts, especially in Michael Porter Jr. And I don't know if they, how this question was asked, I didn't, I should have watched more of it, I guess. But there was like a hypothetical question. They were both pondering with the hypothetical. Well, actually not really

pondering. They had a pretty strong answer. It was, would you press a button? And if you press that button, you get a billion dollars. The other thing that happens, someone somewhere in the world that you don't know, dies. Would you kill someone for a billion dollars is the question? And they said, fuck yeah. They both said, run me my money immediately. And Michael Porter Jr. tried to couch it by being like, well, if I give $100 million of the billion to charity,

then really the net positive I'm doing for society is, is, you know, outweighs it. So I'm really doing a good thing. Somebody's value monetarily. Correct. And that was going to. So.

Yeah, saved. Yeah, that's crazy. Tough one for those. Even if you think yes, the answer is no. Correct.

Exactly. You know what I mean? I've had plenty of times it would have been hard to say no. And that's what I was going to say. It's a different thing. Would you ever have said yes, even at those times where. When you're an NBA player who's worth.

nine figures. Well, and they, I'm sorry, but the ball family did not grow up, like, not able to eat or something either. That's what, like, I agree with you, Mike. I don't know, I don't know Michael Porter Jr. But I'm not judging as hard if you're- People who've been on the bottom end, the bottom end of the capitalist spectrum and seeing the way that human life is devalued.

I understand them sometimes having a mentality of like, kill or be-kill. Like, I understand that to some extent, but that's not. He's got Michael Porter Jr. is making $40 million to play basketball this year. And that's... And he's going to sign another contract after this for $200 million probably. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's my dick, by the week, you know, classic... It's really good at basketball. Classic stuff. That's just asking basketball questions. Agreed. I will go next. I just say... Go ahead.

Yeah. Okay. I did, though. It's a different. Well, it's apples and oranges. Okay. My Duky buddy of the week is that I am currently beefing with a church, which is a new experience for me. I'm usually, oh, yeah.

We do live across the street from a church. And this church. Just taking a car beef with Jesus? This, no. No. I wouldn't judge you. With Jesus? Damn,

what did they do? Or what did you do? Okay. I have not yet done what I am willing to do. And I hope they understand that I am willing to do what I said I'm willing to do. But there is a church across the street from my house. We live in like a public, like, we're in the burbs, but we're like in like a majorly traffic area. So it's like, you know, it's a unhoused people and stuff.

like that. So this church put a security system on that is verbal. And it says, it says you are trespassing on private property. You are being recorded. Please exit the premises. No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How sensitive is it, though? So like, you heard this before?

It says it at about 50 fucking decibels across the street from my bed. room where I sleep. And last night, it said it five times between three and four o'clock in the morning. Oh, that's crazy. No.

Who was over there, though? That motherfucker was really trying to get in there. I can see over there. It was no one over there. So it's probably a fucking cat or a skunk or some shit walking through there. Oh, no.

So I sent them an email, and it may not have been wise to send the email at 3.30 in the morning. Oh, you are that. But I sent them an email and said, unless you would like this announcement to be played at your church's doors at 10 a.m. on Sunday in the middle of your service, you need to turn that shit down or turn it off. And if you think it's inappropriate to play this out loud while people are trying to do things in their place of dwelling,

I agree with you, which is why I would like to be fucking asleep at 3 o'clock in the morning instead of listening. to you are trespassing on private property. I might, you ain't just want to like. The hard rock bet casino app is here, Ontario. It's safe, secure, and crystal clear with fast payouts and 24-7 local support. You can play over 3,000 games right here, including hard rock bet casino exclusives. The hard rock bet casino app is here, Ontario. Roll with us.

Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Play Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.ca. Lisa? We should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi I want you. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

I'm not gonna get anyone you're fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world.

We're gonna talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I would do what I. I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care.

I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me.

That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show. on YouTube.

If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana.

Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcasts where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is faux journal. I don't know.

Have you guys heard of faux journaling? Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. So we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No!

I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland bookstore on 14th. That's crazy. See, I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday, and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. No way. You have to come to the last bookstore, though.

Kim Cottrell is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on artists on the IHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Have a casual conversation with them prior to like coming with the smoke, niggins like immediate smoke. Like you're like like that's shit tweaking. Can you fix that? I clocked off work at midnight. I clocked off work at midnight.

Like like you like, hey, yo, this shit going on like is going on. Can we get a fix for this? This niggas said, look, I'm pulling up to your shit. shit. Like, there's no, it's like zero to a hundred, they're like,

there's probably three steps in between this motherfucker like, I'm getting this fix today, man. I don't know what. Mike, you got to remember that. You got to remember that,

you got to remember that even and especially security systems are heaven sent. Even security systems are heaven set. Hey, didn't you say that shit with me humane?

I think that's when I love. logged on. Y'all was talking about you. You said, it's inhumane. I'm like, I know what y'all was talking about. Like, there's people living here, sleeping. It's 3.30 in the morning. That is crazy. That really is crazy to play at that loud that you can, if you can hear, you guys, let's across the street.

We have double pain windows. Yeah, right. That's not back. Wait, wait, wait. Does Shaw wake up? Both y'all was up on that shit? Or just, you just got you? What's crazy is, it has woken Shah up. She is the, she's the light sleeper. I normally sleep through anything.

I think I was so anxious last night because I got like four hours of sleep Friday night because we worked to like three. And Benny had to go to that showcase shit in L.A. And then I came home from L.A. from the showcase, went straight to work from like four to midnight. And in my head, I'm like, if I don't get a good night's sleep tonight,

this could be a fucked up week. Hey, shit can be really rough. There are people within this dwelling too because you ain't your best self type shit. I'm not trying to go back into those. trenches. Like, I need to get my sleep tonight. You ain't trying to be like me, nigga.

You had your feel. You know what I respect. You are trespassing on private property. Mother. Mike was in that motherfucker throwing at his hell, bro. That nigga sent that email, smoking high.

You probably almost broke the damn computer keys, nigga. That shit crazy. If you think it's okay. You said that shit at 3.45, that's crazy. I get it now. I get it now. Hopefully it's remedy, bro. But I really will go all the way crazy with it.

Like, I just... Have you got a response yet? Or did this happen this weekend? It happened last night. Oh, okay. So Monday, probably. Well, it's not on Sunday. It's right.

They should have somebody... They were on Sunday. No, but it said on the... I don't know. I know if the administration is working. I think the, you know, like the, there's church, but I don't think the people that run the church, they got nine to five, me. Slackers. Anyway.

Anyway, bro, it's like, you know where their priorities are. Hey, already constant. You got to stop. I know where they're probably. Whoa. Out. You got to fuck. I know where those priorities are.

Waking me up at 3.30 in the fucking morning, bro. I mean, I, yeah, that's some bullshit. And also, like, it's hard. when you already tired. And it's some bullshit, like, I shouldn't have to deal with this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they should have common sense to know this is not the way to move. Just play it a couple of times before you leave, maybe, after you activate it.

See what the shit sounds like to the people who are living around you. Yeah. Does it need to be that loud for that person right in front to know that they're being recorded? You know what I mean? I don't think, you know, people across the street or in houses further need to hear that shit too. Yeah. Yeah.

In their own homes. That's crazy. Yeah. Anyway, John, what should do you do you better at the week? Humanity. Oh. No, for so, bro. Like, I was talking about, I called Mike had a conversation about this year earlier

last week, man. I called Rother. She was like, I'm trying to care, John. I just She was busy. She was busy. She was busy. She's like, I'm trying.

I just got, she had to do. She had the time for me. But, so I called Mike. But the humans have been around for 300,000 years. Yeah.

Right? Dinosaurs existed for 167 million. Okay. Years, right? 165 million, I think, actually. Yeah, I trust you on the numbers. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, most to us, two million.

Anyway, so, we're already at the point where they're already talking about our demise and we clown dinosaurs for how stupid they are we might go out in the dumbest way possible which is at our own due to our own decision making we're supposed to be the most brilliant beings or species has ever existed on the planet we've been here like a blip compared to what we the people we the species we make fun of for how stupid they were they had brains like chickens niggia they were here 1067 million years we've been here at 300,000

and now it's a trillion fucking, we can, it's 27 degrees hotter in Paris than it was the year before. You know what I'm saying? Like it's 90 degrees, it's 60% humidity in LA right now. You feel me?

Like, we're fucking up our planet and it's hard to get people to make decisions to go the right way. Like, and we're supposed to be so fucking brilliant. And if there, if there's another species that makes it to where we're at

and realizes that humans existed you feel on this planet they will, after we're not here, they will clown the fuck out of us. It's just so interesting to me that we're so smart in comparison to other species

and our intelligence is what is will be the reason we get about this motherfucker. I just think like I was talking to Michael about this. Why aren't, people, like, why is this not the biggest fucking deal to everybody? Like, why?

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, like, lying. Like, it's, it's 90 degrees. Everyone is lying to themselves to some extent. To some extent, because it's hard to, you include it. For sure, for sure, for sure. If I really thought about this too much, I couldn't go to work tomorrow. You know what I mean? It'd be hard to do the normal things like, you know what I mean?

like if I thought about it too much, but it's just truly insane that it's not a bigger deal to everybody. Maybe because it's just, you know, it's hard for us to fathom or if we were to really think about it, we wouldn't be able to do regular shit. But gee, like, this,

I just don't understand why it's not the biggest deal in the world right now. But I think, and so you and I talked about a couple of things, one being that like the way our brains all work and it's the same thing if you're writing about budget cuts. No one gives a fuck about budget because if you say someone's library is going to be closed two hours a day. Now,

a lot of people care of... It's too big of an issue for us to wrap our head around. So I feel like... So like, when you do, you know, Jackson was just talking about like tropical storms, like weather events, people care about enormously. You look at that horrible shit that happened

in Nepal. Like, that's a climate change event. Yeah. Yeah. People see that video and it's all they could think about is so horrible. But you don't connect it to particles in the air you don't connect it to the bigger the bigger storyline and I do think that part of that is evolutionary of like

we are still animals and the function of our brains getting bigger is to figure out how to get food for the day or to get better at that not necessarily get better at solving global issues that are dealing with you know

so immediate concern versus global concern and I just think that's the that's like the that's the challenge of it But I also think that's why you had this experience that everyone had who was alive like we were and sentient when the internet came into being that all of a sudden you started seeing all the individual horrible things that were happening at once instead of the stuff that got filmed and put on the news in your city or whatever. And it was just like someone was smashing your brain with a sledgehammer or something, right? Like, yeah, but I just, I think we're not equipped to deal with the size of the problem. But I just feel at this point, like, we all are experiencing global warming. We're not, it's not a conversation.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, we're experiencing it. Like, we're walking out and we can't deny. Like, even if you are lying to yourself saying as a hoax, you can't lie and say, it's not supposed to be this eye in August. Like, you know, and, you know, like, you feel me? Like, you can't, like, it's, and it's not just, it's, the, the, the weather in itself is more unpredictable, which is part of it as well, where it'll snow in weird times. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, you can't deny that the climate is much different than it was 20, 30 years ago. Like, even if you're not watching documentaries on the polar clapped caps, you know what I mean? And you're not, you know, paying attention to that. Like, you go outside and it feels like it's more humid than Florida in California. And L.A. right. Last week, L.A. was the most humid part of the United States of America. I don't know that that's ever happened. The Pacific is so warm that like great whites are like, you know, that was not an issue.

The water was 80 degrees off San Diego. The water was 80 degrees. Like, you know what I'm saying? The Pacific Ocean was 80 degrees off the coast of San Diego. That's never been normal. You know what I mean? So it's just you can't, like you can only lie to yourself so much, you know, at this point. And it's just so crazy how we just refuse to, you know, I don't know.

It should be the most important thing on everybody's mind to me. And it's just, it's just not, you know. Yep. Yeah. And I, like, what we're talking about too, like we're the people who are, at least in this, you know, regime or whatever you want to call Trump and his, you know, cronies and all that bullshit. It feels like we really, it's the government's supposed to be doing things to handle that, and we can't. They're too powerful for us to just, like, you know, we can't, we can't, I would understand at this point feeling like, you know, with them in power, feeling a little, like, you know, helpless. You know what I mean?

Yeah. But it's a global issue. It's not just United States. So anyway. All right. Shout out to my beautiful wife, who's not going to listen to this podcast. If you're listening to this on Monday, it is our 19th wedding anniversary. which is some crazy shit.

24 years. Big congrats. Big congrats. 24 years together, 19 years married, you know? So. Fuck. Jesus, bro.

Fuck with it, you know. So you've been, at this point, y'all been married longer than y'all. Like, so y'all been married longer than y'all. We started dating when we were 18 and we've been there. Yeah.

Yeah. Crazy. Yep. Well. Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know. Like, the bigger that number gets the weird, it seems to me.

It's just like, what? I don't know. It's crazy. Cool. Congratulations. I think we're taking our kids out to dinner. Is all y'all? All y'all?

Yeah. We're just going to go out and have a good night. Come home. We've been watching Stranger Things with the kids. Come home and start the fifth season. What's like? Are y'all going on doing something big for 20? I think so.

Okay. Yeah. I think so. Because the, so August 24th was like our first date. So we always just try to do something between the 24th and the 31st. Yeah, yeah. Because with our jobs, with her starting school, football season starting for me, it's always kind of like whenever we can make a shake.

But we did for the, that was our first night away from the kids for our, whatever the previous one was 15th and 20th or something. We went to San Diego for a weekend and left the kids, Shar's mom came over and stayed with the kids. We don't got nowhere. We could drop them off. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was cool.

It was cool. So I don't know. We'll do something. August 24th. Like what? Like, you just remember that because it was Shar? Or like, is there just our first state? It was just our first day.

I have. Do you remember y'all first day, Jackson? Am I tripping? Well, I remember when we met. I also, I don't remember the day. I don't remember the day. I also, I also proposed on that because we celebrated our dating anniversary.

So I proposed on that day. Okay. And then we got married to 31st. Yeah, I can tell you when Kim and I met at a Halloween party that we were hosting. And then we officially started dating, like became officially together on January, the following January 1st, two months later. I just remember moments. I don't remember, like, I don't remember dates at all other than like the anniversary.

I don't remember like. The wedding anniversary? Yeah, the wedding anniversary. I've talked about this, though. You guys go by wedding anniversary? Mike? Yeah, yeah. We just have that week.

It's like the 24th through the 31st. And it's just like, whatever makes sense in our current lives to do, we do it. And I keep both numbers. But we were, I mean, I told Shaw I loved her on our third date. And I proposed to her three years after we started dating. So like, it was, I don't know, it wasn't like it is now. I was just trying to explain the talking stage to my mom. You know, like we have, Sean and I know kids,

what they refer to people as their ex-talking stage. Nice. And you're just like, you know, this is my mom is like, I'm glad I'm not raising kids right now. Like, it's complicated as shit. I was like, for me, we went on our first date and I was like, cool. And I think I told her a third or fourth date. I was like, if you ever get sick of me, you are going to have to be the one.

Don't do that shit where you try and like run me off. I'm not going. You got me. You will have to say, I don't want you around anymore. You know what I mean? So, yeah. So to me, that's why that date was significant. For sure, for sure.

Yeah, okay, cool, that makes sense. I think, like, when I didn't understand shit what people were like, yeah, we're hooking up. I was like, does that mean you're talking, fucking, like, that's when shit started getting confusing to me. Like, what are y'all? Maybe that's some white people shit. Maybe that's what I understand.

It's just, it's intentionally ambiguous, I think. Yeah, okay, so yeah, okay, okay. You're hooking them like, I don't know what's going on. It's like when you don't really want to, not sure, but you want to tell people that you kind of got something going on. I was very unambiguous about that shit, especially because we were long distance while we were in college.

Not that long distance, but she was in- bro. You were in Long Beach. She was in L.A. dog. It's medium distance for sure. It's medium distance for sure.

No, that was, that was a tough four years for us, brother, especially she didn't have a car. So it was, hey, John, I made your ass on the road,

though, right? You was hitting that road, brother. You feel? But I was, I was just telling a young person who worked for us. I was calling her dorm room landline from the pay phone by,

class is how long ago we started dating using a fucking minutes card that I stole from the student's story. That's so fire, though.

Remember when you left the house and you was gone, bro? You had to catch somebody at they crew. I remember leaving Long Beach to go to LA to go You never had experience that. Everybody had cell phones when you were There wasn't smartphones, but by time that I had my license, like, before that, sure, but by the time that I had, like,

actual personal freedom, I could drive, I had my license, everyone had a cell phone, not a smartphone, I don't think at that point, but a cell phone, yeah. We had paid a text. So we would send each other like the 700, that was the first shit. We got Virgin Mobile paid a text. I think our third year of college, something like that. We would send that text was like, a fucking essay. This shit could cost me 10 cents, bro.

I'm getting it. I'm getting the full value of this text. We got to make the whole plan in two texts. Yo, that's crazy. Is the parking spot of the apartment going to be there? If not, let me know, and I will do this. I'm thinking for dinner, we can... On the touch phone, so you have to get...

Five, three times to get to L. That's crazy. All right, that's all the time we got. We'll be back with a couple episodes this week. We don't have the schedule just yet, but we will see y'all then. Hope everyone has a great start to their week. Bye. Bye.

Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the Iheart radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman. Angel Geratana.

Jeremy Colhain. Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy Podcasts where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He, he winks on Halloween.

He gets right up next to the microphone. I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit. each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week, I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for

a hour. You're a generational yapper. me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Is there an epidemic against literature? More specifically, black literature. I'm Jack Quist Peace Thomas, and on this season of the Black Lit podcast, we're outside asking why. They don't want a whole bunch of little Ella Bacters, Malcolm Axis and Martin Luther King running around. And when you look at a lot of different cultures, they're like, we need to know where you came from.

And considering this is Black Reading Month, the only real question is, what are you reading next? Listen to Black Lit from the Black Effect Podcast Network on our iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.