Taking 20 Podcast - Ep 285 - Mentoring Players and DMs

Episode Date: October 4, 2026

There’s an art to any kind of mentorship but it’s a critical skill for all of us to learn to bring new players and DMs to the table.  Tune in for some of my tips for guiding the next generation to become the TTRPG players and DMs for tomorrow’s games.   #rpg #ttrpg #dnd #pathfinder #gmtips #playertips #mentoring Resources: Buy Me a Coffee! - ko-fi.com/taking20podcast www.taking20podcast.com  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/taking20podcast  Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/taking20podcast

This week on the Taking 20 podcast. And of course, check in with the new player after the game happens. What did they like? What didn't they like? Most importantly, what questions do they have about anything that happened in the game? Give them the free reign to ask, and if you enjoyed having them at the table, or if you want to continue mentoring them, ask them back for the next one. Thank you for listening to The Taking 20 podcast, episode 285, encouraging all of you, whether you're new or old to lead and mentor others to the game.

I want to thank this week's sponsor, Batteries. There's a local place, by the way, that'll take batteries off your hands as long as they're fully drained. No charge. If you like this podcast, please follow, like, subscribe, and take a few seconds to comment on an episode. Every time you do, it feeds back into the algorithm and increases the chance that someone else who would enjoy this podcast could find it. Huge thanks, by the way, to Stony Day. Doubtit, who came up with a topic idea for today's episode. Love your brother.

Miss you. Do you remember the first time you sat down to play a tabletop RPG, whether it was decades ago or last week? If you can remember what it was like, it was nerve-wracking. What is this game that your friend wants you to play? We just roll dice and just make up what happens? What is this? What if I have to talk?

I mean, what do they expect me to say? What's a cleric? And besides, what is this? this initiative everybody's rolling. Similarly, for those of you who have DMed, do you remember the first time you sat behind the screen? You might have gotten nervous about the responsibility, the weight of it, the players are depending on you to make a story they'll love.

What if I blow it? Okay, we're in combat. I understand that. I got lots of monsters to track, but I got this. Oh, oh God, this is going badly. You realize about two rounds too late that the fighter provoked an attack of opportunity a few minutes ago and you forgot to take it. Oh no, Jeremy, you're blowing it. It's completely understandable that new players get confused or even overwhelmed by tabletop RPGs.

It's also not unexpected that new GMs will feel nervous about being behind the screen. Anxiety is expected just about every time you try something new. New players and keepers feel like that there's so much to learn, so much to do, and if they don't do it right, they're going to let everyone else down at the table. First off, if you're a new DM or a new player, it's okay to have those anxious feelings. What I hope is that you don't let them to keep you from participating, from joining or running a game,

because it's not overselling it to say that tabletop RPGs have provided my number one source of hobby fun throughout my life. These games help make friends, give you an excuse to get together physically or virtually, and can craft memories that will last. long after you step away from the table that night. My veteran players and DMs out there, this episode is primarily for you.

I want you to remember those feelings when you first started and how scary this new, amazing, but weird world of polyhedral dice really is. What would you have wanted from the other players when you sat down? What tips would you have liked to receive? How could others have helped ease you into the games that you now loved? Sometimes as a new player or DM, what we need is someone who has been there and done that. Someone who has felt what you're feeling and can both empathize and guide you through these faltering first steps. Sometimes all we need is a guide to lead us into this strange new land, a mentor who can assist when needed,

and provide a safety net should we metaphorically fall. So my veteran players and DMs out there, I want to encourage you to help others, guide others, Be there for others who are interested in these wonderful games and help them find the fun with tabletop RPGs. First off, mentoring is not teaching. There are two different things. While teaching is certainly a part of mentoring, mentoring is more expansive. Teaching is you hand someone a rulebook and explain what a skill check is and what a D20 is and what you use it for. In contrast, mentorship includes guidance.

a player through the social aspects of the game, the social contract, the social dynamics of the game, and helping to give them the confidence they need to enjoy this game, to learn this game, to become a part of this game. Am I saying that you shouldn't teach a new player the rules? No, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. You should absolutely help them understand how the game is played and ease them into the mechanics of the game. However, remember one of my mottoes, fun is more important than the game. story which is more important than the rules. And to that end, one of the key parts of mentoring is doing what you can to make sure the new player finds the fun, enjoys the game. It might be the same fun that you find, but then again, it could be completely different because they may

enjoy different things. They may fall in love with the role-playing aspect of the game, being in character, speaking in funny voices, while your favorite part of the game is the tactical turn-based combat. And that's okay. There are different ways to enjoy these games that we love. Most importantly, you should encourage them to participate in the game.

Help them understand that the table is a safe place, for a lack of a better term, to try new things, and that no one is going to mock them for making a mistake, doing something a veteran player wouldn't, saying something weird. It's important that they see everyone

at the table is there to build the story together, roll dice together, work together, gripe at those dice who roll low, and then the players aren't there to pass judgment on other players' choices. When new players realize that missteps and bad roles and unexpected choices lead to the best moments of the game, the fear of doing or saying the wrong thing starts to disappear. Showing them that even veteran players fumble, ask silly questions, make suboptimal decisions, proves that perfection isn't the goal for tabletop RPGs, having fun and telling memorable story is the goal.

Hell, one of my favorite RPG shirts I wear to the gaming regularly is a giant D20 with a natural one on it, and it says, bad roles make great stories. But it just as easily could say bad choices make great tabletop RPG stories. The most important thing when mentoring new TTRP players is to help them replace the fear of playing the game wrong with the excitement of making a choice and seeing how it plays out. Good or bad, ill or wonderful, treasure or trap. Get them used to the concept of making a choice and enjoying

what the results of that choice are. But why, Jeremy? Why should it be my responsibility to mentor new players? Couldn't someone else do it? Well, yeah, someone else could do it. But if everyone takes that attitude, then no one's going to mentor any new players, are they? Mentoring, guiding, and helping new players grows the hobby. Sure, streams like Critical Role and push the role and glass canon and similar Let's Play podcasts out there can help others discover the game. But with very little exception, these players are very distant from new players to the hobby. Not that they wouldn't help out, but the chances any single new player could be mentored or taught by one of these popular players, players is fairly low. That's why it's up to the rest of us to help the hobby grow,

bring new players into the fold, and encourage them to join our table. Not you, dear listener, but players like me are growing long in the tooth. I'm starting to go gray. I'm closer to retirement than I am the start of my career. And I know I have so many years left to play these games. Don't get me wrong. I won't be playing this shit until I'm in the retirement home whenever my son decides to put me out to pasture. I have every intention. I have every intention of running games for people locally and online until they stuff me in and earn somewhere. But there are more years behind me than ahead of me, and it's important to me that I pass the torch to the next generation of TTRP players and DMs to carry that torch forward after that.

But Jeremy, I'm not comfortable taking on a formal mentoring role. Okay, good, that's fine. I'm not asking you to do anything formal involving meetings and performance improvement plans. Start simple. Just be willing to help new players in whatever way they actually ask for it. Encourage them to ask questions. Be patient with them when they do. Create space for them to speak up. Mentoring in a lot of ways is just being present and inaccessible and ready to lend a hand. Now there's a phrase I don't want you to miss in that previous paragraph. Help players in the way they ask for it. That distinction really is everything when it comes to mentoring. It's the hard dividing line

between being a supportive mentor and an overbearing backseat driver. Think about how you feel when someone tries to play your character for you. It strips away fun and the power of choice. New players would feel that exact same frustration if you tried to drive the way they played the game.

Mentoring is not about grabbing the wheel of their character and steering it in the way that you want it to go. It's about letting new players make choices that they want, make the mistakes of their choice, and stepping in with advice or guidance only when they say something like, hey, what should I do here? Another way you can mentor new players, by the way, is safely and gently give them the spotlight. Newer players tend to be more reserved and unsure about voicing their opinions or making suggestions. Maybe they don't know when or if they can speak up.

If you get that impression from a newer player, don't be afraid to have one character speak to that new player's character in game, through the story, or for my more intellectual listeners out there, diageetically, while the group is experiencing downtime or discussing options before the big battle, whatever. Have Trina the Mage talk to Ganfo the Barbarian and ask what they know about ogres. That's going to encourage that new player to speak to the group,

to have the spotlight, and feel the same. like they are contributing. But Jeremy, you may be saying, I play in a game that has almost no role-playing in character. No problem. Talk player to player, casually, simply, conversationally, in a non-judgmental way. Hey, Tristan, do you have any ideas about the ogre plan before we, it's like set watch for the night? It both encourages their participation and gets them used to the idea of sharing ideas with one

another. There are even things that you can do with a new player before they ever sit down to the table, physical or virtual. You can work with the player. Help them see that your table is a safe place to explore this character that they've made. That no matter how foolish it feels to talk as ganto barbarian, player of monsters and lover of porcelain pottery, no one's going to laugh at them unless they crack a joke and then they're going to be laughing with them. Players, talk to the other players at the table and make sure they know Tristan is new. You know him from wherever, and he's always been interested in playing RPGs. Contrary to popular belief, most people aren't assholes and will want to try to help Tristan have a good first experience in this

hobby we all love and support him as he takes his first faltering RPG steps. GMs can also hold a session zero part two, part do, the redux, whatever, where the new player is brought in. Maybe start out by meeting with the new player one-on-one to introduce them to the main structure of RPGs. Like the GM describes a scene, players state what they want to do, regardless of the way the rules read, they just simply say what they want to do, dice are rolled, people scream at the dice for rolling badly, crazy shit happens, everyone laughs or cheers or cries, later rinse and repeat until everyone goes home with a smile on their face. During that one-on-one meeting, maybe give a low-stakes sample combat and or quick social interaction.

That gets them used to the idea of rolling the dice, looking at the modifier, calculating the result in a much lower-stakes environment. No one else is watching. It's just them and the GM. One of the ones that I use quite regularly is that the character is buying nachos from a local tavern owner. Talk about low stakes, by the way. But it's social skills, it's role-playing, it's dice rolling, because for some reason the new player wants to try to intimidate the bar.

keep into giving them a discount, followed by a brief fist fight where that inevitably goes wrong. Nothing major, no lasting consequences, just something small and safe where they can learn, hey, Tristan, how would your character buy nachos from this tavern owner? And of course, check in with the new player after the game happens. What did they like? What didn't they like? Most importantly, what questions do they have about anything that happened in the game? Give them the free reign to ask, and if you enjoy,

having them at the table, or if you want to continue mentoring them, ask them back for the next one. Now, let's flip the screen and talk about mentoring DMs. In a lot of ways, mentoring DMs is easier than mentoring new players. The vast majority of the time, new GMs are used to be players, so they've seen the game played. They know what they liked and didn't like. They don't need to be taught what modifiers are, what the phrase D12 means, or how hip

point or tracked. They're familiar with the basic structure of the game. They've just never facilitated it before. And that's the key thing to mentoring DMs. They've never done it before, so take the mystery out of it. Most commonly, the GM mentoring has run games before, knows what works for them, and what doesn't. Start there. Hey, I used to track ammunition and food down to the Nat's eyelash, but nobody thought it was fun. So don't make your players do or when I have a lot of enemies on the board that I'm trying to track and I'm running combat, I group them up and roll initiative for each group rather than each individual creature. So you've got a group of maybe four goblins that all have the same initiative

where if you're trying to track, say, 16 of them on the table. Help the new GM prep a one shot, preferably one you've run or played before. That makes it easier. Let them know the main preparation loop that you use, whatever it is. For me, read the adventure, break it down into its component pieces, prepare each piece separately, or whatever method you happen to use. That's mine. I'm running a group through Abomination Valtz, and it's many, many different levels of all kinds of different creatures. If I tried to keep all of it in my head at once, I'd go insane. Instead, I read through the entire adventure before we

start, break it down into its component encounters, review the likely ones to come up before every gaming session. Like little Lego pieces I examined before reconnecting them to the hole. Some of the common questions I've gotten from new DMs is asking, how do I have answers to all the possible choices the players could make? And if you've listened to me for long enough, you probably know my answer to that. I don't have all the answers. I can't prepare for every choice the players will make. You never know when your group wants to pause mid-heist and take a dump in the chrysanthemums next door just because they're there. So what do I coach new GMs to do instead?

Two things, modular prepping and improv. Improv I talked about all the way back in episode 26, and I kind of need to do another episode on that at some point. Stay tuned for that coming up in the next few weeks. Not being afraid of not having the answers ahead of time. Giving the answer that makes sense and then adapting a story around it. It sounds complicated, but I promise you it gets easy if you do it a few times. Why? Modular Prepping.

There's a myth out there that I hope I can dispel one of these days, and the myth is that GMs have to spend hours and hours prepping. Every single session. It's a three-hour session, so I need to spend three hours prepping. The hell you do. Prepare situations, encounters, scenarios, not sessions. Have a shop ready behind the screen, a list of names that you can pull if you need to

if they interact with an NPC you don't expect. a combat or two ready in Q so if the party decides they want to zig when you're ready to zag, you snap in one of your prepared Lego pieces and off the party goes pooping in the flower beds next door. Show these new GMs what works for you and encourage them to prep that one shot, encounter by encounter, scenario by scenario, or whatever method works for you. If it wouldn't make them uncomfortable, by the way, I would encourage you to be a player in their game. Much like mentoring players, when mentoring DMs, you should only provide advice if they ask for it. And when they ask, there's nothing wrong with saying, my friend, it is your game.

Whatever answer you want to give us will be fine. Are they going to make mistakes? Yeah, absolutely. We all do this just in. Even us crusty veterans. Be encouraging, and if it looks like things are going completely off the rails, let the new DM know that it's fine. for it to go unexpectedly.

And if they feel like they're getting nervous behind the screen and they feel like that they're losing control and they might start to panic, there's nothing wrong with taking a break when you need one to collect your thoughts. After the session, when they ask you for feedback, spend the majority of the time talking about what you enjoyed, the parts that went well, the good moments of the night.

Even if something went totally wrong, don't dwell on it. mention it if they asked for it, but don't belittle them for it. So they asked for an intelligence role instead of a will save. Who gives a shit? Maybe during feedback let them know that that was fun and different and unexpected. While teaching modular prep and improv takes care of the technical side of GMing, the hardest part of stepping behind the screen is sometimes the emotional load of it.

New DMs aren't usually afraid of things like monster stat blocks. They're afraid of failing in front of their friends. They suffer from imposter syndrome where they feel like they have to perform like a DM from their favorite let's play stream. As a mentor, you should do what you can to build their psychological safety net. If you sit at their table as a player,

be their anchor. Don't dominate the spotlight. Use your character to interact with their NPCs, validate their world, their choices. If they need some help, track initiative for them so they can focus on narration and strategy. If another player starts arguing a rule, maybe step in and support the new GM's call. Hey, hey, he wanted an intelligence check, not a will save.

Make an intelligence check, please. Remind them before the game starts, you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be at the table with us, and I promise you, we are all on the same team. Unfortunately, one of the hardest truths is that players have to be willing to step behind the screen in order to make new DMs. But being a kind mentor is a way that you can encourage that to happen safely and in ways that they might enjoy being behind the screen. And voila, you've got another DM in your group. We were all beginners once, whether it was last week or 40 years ago. It doesn't matter.

There was a time when we were all brand new to the hobby. It can be frightening, intimidating. especially if you're joining an established group. Effective mentoring involves starting simply, being patient, helping new players and DMs in the ways that they ask without taking over or dominating their choices. Create a safe table for a new player or DM.

Teach them about the spotlight and show them that mistakes can lead to some of the best stories. Demy the hobby for them, encourage them to make fun choices, and laugh with everyone around the table. If you do, I'd be willing to bet that you and they would have fun doing it. Thank you for listening. If you have topic ideas, by the way, feel free to send them, hey, with a donation.

That'd be lovely. To my coffee, k-o-fi.com slash taking20 podcast or email me. Feedback at taking20podcast.com. Or you can find me on social media. Links are in the description. Tune in next time when I'm going to talk about why DMs, your villains suck. and what you can do about it. But before I go, I want to thank this week's sponsor, Batteries.

I was in a long-term relationship with a battery, but I woke up one morning, and it was an empty bed. I guess my battery just ran out. This has been episode 285, encouraging you to mentor and encourage new players and DMs. My name is Jeremy Shelley, and I hope that your next game is your best game.