Tara Brach - An Invitation to Freedom: A conversation between Tara and Connirae Andreas

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Connirae Andreas was one of the first trainers in neurolinguistic programming (NLP), developed and wrote a book on the Core Transformation Process, and more recently, the Wholeness Process. Her new book, The Wholeness Work Essential Guide: Level I—Healing and Awakening is the focus of our conversation. Connirae's teachings and practices are deep and impactful. She is gifted in communicating and guiding our inner unfolding in a way that makes accessible the domains of deep awakening and freedom pointed to by great mystics, poets and teachers over the centuries. And as this conversation reveals, the Wholeness Work can be transformational for new and seasoned meditators alike. To learn more about Connirae Andreas and The Wholeness Work, visit: https://www.thewholenesswork.org

Greetings. We offer these podcasts freely and your support really makes a difference. To make a donation, please visit tarabrock.com. Namaste. Welcome, my friends. Today I'm joined by Connie Ray Andreas, who was one of the first trainers in neurolinguistic programming, NLP, which I actually did training in decades ago. And Connie Ray developed poor transformation process. She also authored a book about it. More recently, the wholeness process. And her new book, which is the wholeness work, Essential Guide, Level 1, it's healing and awakening. Amazing book. I've read it. I actually wrote the introduction to it. So in our conversation, we go into this wholeness work. And it's incredibly deep and powerful. Last year, I did a session with Connie Ray. She's a

a practicing therapist. And with that and the book, which is so clear and so good, I've really integrated a lot of what she offers into my own daily meditation practice. And I want to share with you that the way of attending to our life that Connie Ray offers, it really opens to quite a deep domain of awakening. It opens us to the freedom, the great mystic, and and poets and teachers have been pointing to over the centuries. And over the last decades, I've really read a lot of the words and guidance of many of these masters. And I found that Connie Ray's language and her guidance makes this realm very, very accessible.

She offers a very alive process for transformation. So I wanted to share her and what she offers with you. And I find that personally she really embodies what she teaches. She's quite a wise and kind and lovely being as I trust Jill's sense. So may you find value in this conversation. Honey Ray, my friend, welcome. And thank you for doing this with me. Oh, it's great to be here talking with you, Tara.

It's always nice to connect. I feel the same. I just want to say, I just appreciate you're inviting me on your podcast. I feel like it's really an honor. So thank you. Oh, well, I've been really looking forward to this. And I want to jump right in with probably the most obvious question, which is, what do you mean by wholeness and what is wholeness work? Yeah, we're getting right in there, aren't we? So what is wholeness? This is something easier to experience than talk about, I think, really. But wholeness, I think.

Jung spoke about it. And it's this, as I think about it, it's this undivided presence. It's our real nature. Our true nature is wholeness. It's not all these inner divisions. And yet when we grow up, you know, as we attempt to navigate our life, our world,

we find ourselves unconsciously without knowing it, you know, we're splitting into different aspects of ourselves. It becomes, you know, we are very aware, of the divisions in our outer world, of the different people who, it was like us versus them, but these same kind of divisions happens inside. You know, it's, it's me versus me, you know. And often these are out of conscious awareness. We might not be aware of it. Many people who I work with, they start saying, you know, the more I do the work, the more I understand this about the inner divisions and I understand the value of wholeness and the value of becoming this experience

of undivided presence rather than the splintering of this, that, the other, you know, so there's a start. I love the phrase undivided presence. I think that's really beautiful because it gives you a sense of of that kind of open, edgeless field that's all inclusive and awake. So that's beautiful. So tell us a little about what is the work that helps us to see all the divides and begin to kind of integrate and open into that wholeness. Great. Well, I hope we can get increasingly more into that today in our exploration.

And perhaps we can even do a guided meditation. Absolutely. It's really easier to experience than to talk about conceptually. And then once we start to have an experience, I think it's easier than to start talking about where we go from there. So what does wholeness work? Let me see if I can try to answer that. It's really a series of, we can think of it as a series of exercise, there's practices that systematically guide us in a really kind and gentle way.

towards discovering the inner divisions that are there. And the order matters. There's certain inner divisions that it helps to notice first. And that prepares the groundwork for ease at recognizing the others. You know, we've all heard these experiences of awakened teachers even, or just ordinary people who talk about a spontaneous awakening. And sometimes it's quite disruptive, you know, because it's like jarring, because it happens, it happens maybe through stress or sometimes

induced through drugs or however it comes, sometimes it can be jarring. And so with wholeness work, I think that doesn't usually happen with meditation. It happens in a kind and gentle way. And also with wholeness work, it happens in a kind and gentle way. And the questions, the places we go inside are designed to make it easy. That's really helpful. I would just say that meditation can be done in unwise ways, and there can be very jarring sudden awakenings that are not at all will integrated. So a person can have a sense of vastness and like belonging to the universe and still go around treating another person very unkindly. So I'm hearing from what you say that there really is a natural, organic unfolding that this work gently invites people into?

I really like the way you put that. And that's how I describe it too. It's natural. It's organic. And it pops into my mind as we're talking. This work came to me in part through a jarring experience that I had myself. It wasn't easy. And I was all of a sudden I found myself in this experience of just sort of breakdown.

And I didn't know what was happening. I thought I was probably dying. because I just didn't know what was going on. I felt this extreme intense as if there was an electrical current going through my body, 24-7, that was way stronger. It felt like as if I was wired for 120 and I was, or whatever, I don't remember the numbers, you know, that I was wired for something and I was getting five times that much. It was just flowing through.

And I thought, I don't know if my body can withstand this. And it was definitely jarring. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't think. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't, it was unnerving and overwhelming. And so it was through attempting to find my way through that. I didn't die.

Unfortunately, I didn't die. But I kind of had the thought that if I'm not, if I'm going to not die, somehow this is a message to me. I need to find some way of deep change, deep transformation that I haven't known yet. So that's what set me on the path to discover wholeness work. Is there a context, Connie, Ray, that was something going on in your life that triggered that level of deep stress? What a question. I think there are a lot of contexts.

There's my life context. I think what was happening in my life then was I was experiencing more stress in my life. My relationship was, I felt it was in trouble. From other people's point of view, they might not have seen that, but I felt that. I think there was the mismatch. I was also very successful at that point in time. I was an NLP trainer. I had come out with new work I developed. It was good work. It was helping a lot of people. So I was getting all these emails in about, oh, it's wonderful, it's changed my life. But I was going, I feel like. I'm falling apart. So there was a mismatch between the success on the outside and what I felt, the needs within me.

So I felt like, okay, it's time for me to let go of all of that, all of that, and do something different. And at that point, I thought I was giving up teaching forever. I thought maybe, you know, maybe if I'm lucky and I survive, I'll be a gardener. You know, maybe that's what I'll do, you know, or maybe I'll be somebody's nanny. I can take care of kids. But I really thought at that point I would never go back into teaching. I really thought I was now in a different place in my life. I thought if I was going to have any chance of surviving,

and I needed to just do everything different. So I hear you on the externals changing, but you also shifted in some dramatic way how you paid attention to yourself. And I'm wondering, just I know you're going to be, sharing some with us about how to do the work. Can you give us some sense of what shifted and how you were in relationship with your own experience with that high voltage scary? Well, and just as background too, I want to acknowledge that I tried everything I can think out. Well, in my life, so I was an NLP trainer and developer, had written lots of books already. And so,

So I knew I had, I knew I could help other people, but I felt like I was my, my failure as a client. You know, I was my one big failure. And so, so I felt like I was being now called to go to this deeper level. And I'm, thank God for that, you know, is all I can say at this point, looking back on it. I'm just so thankful that I wasn't allowed to just keep going on that path that started feeling somewhat artificial for me. even though there was plenty about that old path that I look back on and it was, now I see it's useful. It's still useful.

I can see that now. What was important for me was to completely let go so that I could be open to something new and possibly different and deeper. And then I think you were asking about, okay, what are the, there were clues along the way. And I had already investigated everything that I could knew about pretty much. The world was simpler then. That was 1997. You remember that year, right?

Way back then, there weren't 10,000 different types of meditation that you could just kind of go on the internet and look up and take a training in, right? Yes, yes. Now there are thousands of different things, but at that point, things were simpler. And I knew pretty much everything that was available. And I tried it and nothing worked for me. So I knew that I needed to go to a deeper level. And I thought, okay, so I had tried everything in psychology and personal growth and in NLP,

but I had not really investigated the spiritual area yet. So I turned my attention there. And I thought, okay, perhaps there's something in this spirituality that I need to learn from. Perhaps there's something that it can teach me. And that started me on this, it supported me in this path of finding a deeper level of healing and growth. And then what happened was, so the teaching of Ramana Maharishi, I just want to mention that. It was specifically, especially meaningful to me. I thought somehow he's on the right track here.

So that was an inspiration. But then the other thing that came in. Just pause. Can you just say a little bit like one sentence encapsulation? What was his major? Yes. Well, at that point, I was most. attempting to benefit from the spiritual area, if we could call it that, by I was sitting in

lots of circles. I was reading people's awakening experiences. I was sitting in circles with people and in Sanghas and various, you know, and hoping that I could get it by osmosis, you know, by a transmission and just like, and to some extent I could feel this kind of undivided presence that we were speaking about. One, this sense of, I could to some extent, feel this in the presence of other people, in the presence of a teacher. But then I would go away and it wouldn't necessarily last. I would see that for other people in the circle, it wouldn't necessarily last.

So I began to attempt to find a more precise way. So to answer your question, the specific thing for Ramana Maharashti that was inspirational was his teaching about asking ourselves, who am I, who am I, who am I? And I was sitting, meditating one day, thinking about that question. And here's where I think the fact that I didn't come to spirituality early, I think, on I came to it late in my life.

And I think in a way it allowed me to come with a different perspective. So I had also my NLP background, which was always about modeling things and making things precisely. And the underneath idea is if one person can do something, anyone can do it. And we just have to find out the structure of it and understand how, and then find out how to put it into a teachable form so that anyone can do it. My teachers all said, you can't make this into steps, this awakening thing.

You know, it just kind of happens through grace. But I kept thinking maybe there can be a more precise way. So I kept exploring that one day in my meditation. that I was exploring, a way to do it that was different came to me and it right away led to wholeness work. And that's what I'll guide everyone in a little bit later, perhaps. So what I'm hearing, and I love this,

and this is, I want to say to all listening that this is really true about Connie Ray is you have an amazing capacity to language what is really hard for many people to communicate. and for you to be able to point to what Romano was pointing to, this undivided presence, and actually give people stepwise ways of paying attention that, in a very organic way, open us to that is to me an amazing offering. And I'm just wondering if you can share more broadly what you found are the benefits

when people follow the steps and they do this kind of work. What do they discover? Sure. I'd love to do that. And perhaps I could say it's a framing too. I think of homeless work is something aligned with many other practices. It's something that we can do alongside. It's not.

So people have spiritual teachers. They have spiritual paths. And I think they keep them generally when they do wholeness work and do this along. It becomes a bonus, you know, rather than an either or. But back to the benefits. I think the main benefits are, they're in the emotional and psychological dimension. It's deeper healing of psychological issues. So lots of people have emailed me or clients or people in workshops, you know, and they say,

you know, I worked with this issue and I thought it was healed even or partly healed. And now I'm processing it with fullness. And I have this deeper healing. or I attempted to work with this with something else, and I haven't found anything that could work, and now I'm finally finding that Holnesswork is helping me with these emotional healing. So that's one level of benefits.

Then the other kind of benefits is some people come to it more interested in the awakening aspect. So I have, like in my last Level 1 class, after the first paradox, somebody shared, you know, I've been doing meditation, for 14 years and I've never been able to get to the state that I just was able to get in this guided practice. And then another person just last night was sharing with me. He said, oh, you know, before Holness, before I found Holnesswork, I'd done lots of different kinds of meditation

and 15, 16 years, he said for him. And I was able to get two times in all that time. I got, I experienced a really profound state and shift, and it was enough to keep me going. But then when I found the wholeness work, what I found is it gives me a reliable way, an easier way to just get there more easily, more quickly, more reliably. And I think that it also, what happens with wholeness work, what you said earlier, Tara, I think is so important about people have sometimes awakenings, and then they come back from the awakenings and sometimes can be just as unkind and cruel, you know, or, or maybe they're kind, but they still don't feel that the emotions, the emotional hurts or the woundings have healed.

So with wholeness work, the way it happens, it's integrated. It's like the doorway to the awakening comes through what we could call the deep emotional healing. So it's not two things. So I think people, people come to this who have no interest in awakening, but surprise, you get it anyway. So some people come to this and they are only interested in, you know, I just want something to help me with my stress, you know. And yes, Holiness Work is great for that. I just want to sleep better. Yes, homeless work is great for that. To deal with these emotional hurts or the emotional reactivity, yes, it's great for that.

But then the surprise is we, the reason it's so great, I think, is because what spiritual teachers have been doing, they've always been really on a good track here with this discovery that a real awakening, it's not separate from from a psychological healing and growth and transformation to. They're the same thing. And that's so important because one of the main shadow sides of a lot of meditation practices, is sometimes called spiritual bypassing, where there's this attraction to getting the mind really quiet and feeling this spaciousness and feeling absolute resting in peace and stillness and openness and emptying it.

There's this draw to it. And then issues will come up like, you know, feeling blame or resentment towards somebody. And the attitude will be, well, I've already, the forgiving's already happened. I'm not a self that is blaming. I'm this open-empty space of awareness. And there are many, many examples of unprocessed twists and twerks in the psyche because of people really wanting to have these, you know, enlightenment experiences. So I love that wholeness work is embodied, it's moving through what's actually coming up in the life,

the way those divisions you are talking about actually create a lot of pain. And if there's inner divisions, we can't be intimate with other people. And so it shows up in our relationships. Oh, absolutely, Tara. Absolutely. I could just put yellow highlighter on everything you said. Yeah, yes, absolutely. You know, as you're speaking, what comes to me is just, I understand this inclination to just avoid these painful things and to kind of be attracted to this idea of like, oh, can't we just do the bliss thing? You know, oh, there. It does sound appealing. It sounds great, you know, and I would sign up for it too if it really worked, you know. Exactly. Who wouldn't? Yeah. Yeah, but the thing is, and it's again, it's like not an either or what we can discover is that

I like to use the metaphor of composting for this because what we can discover is all the things that we don't like about ourselves, the difficult feelings, it all becomes, it's just like rotten stuff in the back of the refrigerator, you know, if we leave it sitting in the back of the refrigerator, it turns moldy and it gets more and more smelly and gross colored, you know, but if in whatever state we find it, we take it out, we open the back, and put it in the compost and we let the air get to it. And soon it processes, it compost and it turns into rich soil that becomes the foundation for new life.

It's the source of life. And that's exactly what happens inside ourselves with all the things we don't like. What I see happening when people learn this work is they start to, rather than avoid things, start going, oh, great, you know, here's another unprocessed thing. I already know it's going to be the doorway to more presence, a more rich, full on, undivided, kind, natural presence. That's what grows out of it when we process it,

when we know how to process it in this. You know, I love that metaphor and what you're saying, because it is really true that the more rounds, we've had where we get that exactly what's going on in my life right now is perfect for waking up. Yes. What happens over times, there's less lag where we're fighting it and more we get curious. Okay. So how might this serve awakening? Can I deepen attention? And you're right, the more rounds we've had, we get the confidence that this is it. Let's just let this be the portal to freedom, you know? So let me ask you this because you gave a

few examples of people that have been writing to you. You shared with me on the side a few examples of some of your work internationally. And just I'd love those that are listening to get a sense of the impact and how widespread it is of this work. So might you share a few of those? Oh, sure. One that pops into my mind first. Just the other day, an executive coach from Germany shared with me. She's sharing this with her network and saying, and I'm going, oh, this is such a beautiful example. She said that a manager that, well, CEO,

someone she was working with said that what he wanted to work with, what he wanted her support on was that he knows that he blew his top. He would get angry easily at his managers. And it wasn't working out so well for him. You know, their behaviors, he would just get triggered. buy lots of things that they would do and blow up and get angry. So not such a great manager or move, you know. So she said in the second session, she used wholeness work with him.

And after that, he said, it's just different. My reactivity is, it's change. You know, I'm just, I just have this calm presence. I'm able to. And what he reported, he said, my managers are coming up to me and asking me, what did you do? He said, they definitely noticed the difference. And then they're going to be asking for hugs.

Yeah, exactly. Changed the whole work culture. And then his wife emailed me, she said, the man's wife emailed. And she said, something similar. She said, I've been married to him for a long time. And I just thought this was a part of the deal. You know, but things have changed. It's a miracle, you know.

So the gratitude of spouses when you've done the work, right? Yes, yes. Yeah. There's always benefit. If it's deep work, it overflows into our lives first and then into our work life and then into our work life and into our community life. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's one example.

Would you like a few more? Sure. I love hearing these. This is great. Okay. Okay. You know, and there's several levels of the. these examples. So another another example that just comes to mind. This is actually from one of a

group of in my training. I feel fortunate this time around to have a group of Arab speaking professionals who are, they are planning to volunteer to go into areas of need, especially Gaza. We know there's going to be a huge need. There already is, but nobody can get in right now. So there's going to a huge need for healing, for trauma resolution. So they're prepared to volunteer. So I have this group of about nine or ten professionals who are in the training and really going through the whole thing and planning to volunteer later. So they're using it personally. And it's there, I just, you know, I bow to them. They're, they're a wonderful group to work with, so capable. And I'm, I'm just so glad they're, they're taking this on. And then they're planning to share. And then they're

planning to share it. So they're first using it personally. And one person, the organizer, said to me, let's see if I have this here for, I have, oh yeah, she when, when, when, right before the training started, this was back in November. So it was different, a different situation than it was new, relatively new. But she said to me, before this training, I felt like my mental health was falling apart. The news each day was more horrible, more horrible things happening. And after doing the first paired exercise with the full homeless work basic process, I was at peace again. It was amazing. Thank you for this. So, and I had the same kind of experience. I reached out to a group, or maybe they reached out

to me. I can't remember a group in Ukraine of therapists after that situation started there. And so I was supporting a group of therapists there and offering training and this. And they were sharing the same kind of experience. And I would be literally sometimes hearing in the background some explosions going off, you know. And it's like I'm just bowing to their courage, you know, to just even be right there in the middle of that. Yeah.

You know, and yet they experienced something similar, even right in the middle of but they were able to find some, I can't say everyone, you know, some of them reported to me through our Zoom calls that we connected with. Just it's amazing I can feel this calm presence, even with this definitely not peace going on all around me. I can feel this peace on the inside. So that's what, that's some of the kind of results we can get. And I wanted to, I get excited.

about the results people share. Pardon me. I love it. One of the people from the Egyptian, Arab speaking group, as I said, they're also using personally. And she shared with me how she'd had a miscarriage sometime earlier. And it was, she had already process it to some extent. So it was already somewhat better.

But then she used, wholeness work with it. And she said, what I experienced is like, now it's fully resolved. Now it feels like whatever residual was there, it's just, it's not an issue anymore. It's healed now. So those are some of the kinds of things. I could give maybe one more example with relationships. Sure, sure. Then we can go on, I promise. This was also someone shared. with me recently, how she was, oh, this was also from the Arab group. Yeah. She was, she talked about how she'd been in unhealthy. She said, I don't know why, but I was got it. I didn't know why, but I always got attracted to unhealthy relationships, unhealthy partnerships,

so we can all relate to that. I think so many of us have done that. And so this was a thing for her and she said she was feeling kind of depressed about it and then after doing wholeness work she used this to process this and and now she says I'm feeling better and and now in a healthy relationship so that just you feel good for her and and for me too and I can I can speak for myself along these same ways because everything that other people share with me I have my own own version of, I've used this for myself and felt that that's where I started with it. Before I even tested it with other people, I was using it with myself. So I felt the difference in my own relationship with my husband.

And I shared with you how that was felt like that was part of what brought this crisis on. And we even separated for a short time. And at my initiating it. And I don't usually make a big deal about that because, but it was a part of the process. I kind of really was going, I was going, maybe I have to let go of everything, even my relationship, you know. And then I came to this place where I recognized, no, it's not my relationship. I need to let go off.

It's my false sense of self, you know? It's my inner judging that I do, you know, but didn't know I did, you know, even realize I was doing. So it made a big difference for me in being able to navigate my relationship with my husband in a more positive way. And yet, you know, so that we could have another how many decades we had after that. You know, now we could really connect. Well, you know, I have mentioned already that I did a piece of work with you. I read the book. And one of the things that really comes through is this is an inside-out teaching.

You can feel as you guide people that the twists and turns are something that you have totally navigated in your own vulnerability and realness. And I think that's what gives it power. And just now you named kind of a centerpiece of everything, which is you had to let go of kind of a false sense of self. And that's so pivotal in what I get from your work, which is that we get hitched or identified to small parts of ourselves and we lose touch with that, that undivided presence that really is where our love comes from and our wisdom comes from. So I feel like you've wet our appetites. And I'd love you to just guide us so we get some taste of the kind of

work that you're bringing to others. Absolutely. I'd love to do that. Okay. And I'd like to say, too, that those of you listening, some steps of it may feel familiar. Some might feel new. If they feel familiar, I encourage you to just to take this freshly and sort of act as if everything is new, like a newborn baby coming to it.

It's like, oh, you know, and that's how I do it. So I've done it myself many times and guided people many times, and yet my intention is to come to it freshly each time. So, ready? Are we ready? Okay, it's you and me and all our listeners, right? Okay. All right. So here's what I'll do is go through a fairly, I'll make it a kind of a fast version, just because our time is,

limited and there's more detail in the book and other places in the trainings, but we'll go through a fast experience of it. I want to acknowledge that, though, because if we're going, in case it doesn't fit for you, just as I guide you now, there's, there are going to be ways to meet you, each of you, personally. That's what's so important with this work is that we meet each of us exactly where we are. We don't have to change ourselves to fit the method. The method fits us. So, okay. So I like to begin by getting into a comfortable position. And then maybe take a deep breath. I'll stretch a little since I've been sitting here a little bit and then just be ready. Close my eyes, turn inward. And then just sort of sensing in the body, noticing any body sensation at all,

notice anything that comes into awareness. And okay, so I'm sensing right now. There's a little bit in my head, the back of my head, I'm feeling a little bit of a tingling sensation inside my skull in the back of my head. And I noticed a few sensations actually. I noticed also there's something in my lower back. There's something I can sense where my thighs touch the chair. But if I notice several, if you notice several, just pick one. It can be anyone. It can be positive, negative, neutral. It doesn't matter what the sensation is. And have you found something for you, Tara? Okay, great. And you can share it if you'd like or not if you prefer, whatever. The sensation is a heat, a kind of heat on my face. In the face. Okay. So,

both you and I are in the head area today. And just so for your listeners, your sensation could be anywhere. It could be in your toes. It could be. And if you aren't aware of anything else, I think everyone can notice the contact, the sensation of contact between our bodies and whatever we're sitting or lying on, whatever we're resting on. We can notice that as the default.

So then what we do is just notice the space, the sensation, sensation takes, up. How much space does it take up? So for me, this place in the back of my head, it's this area, maybe sort of like oval-shaped kind of space. I don't have a name for it. Each of us can notice how much space it takes up, sort of the size and shape of the space. And you sort of described years to me also. So, and sometimes it might have, sometimes there's the feeling like it has, almost has an edge or a border to it. Oftentimes it doesn't, but it's sort of as if it's sort of

like this oval, like it's a squash there inside my head. And now, then what we do is we gently sense in and through the space of this and notice the sensation quality in this area.

So when I sense in and through, get for the sensation quality, it's a little bit fizzy. Kind of a fizziness, a slight weightiness to it, a slight weight to it. And that's about all I get. How about you, Taro? I'm getting heat and pulsing, kind of a pulsing vibrating.

Okay, great, a pulsing and a vibrating. Great, excellent, excellent. So, and each of you following along with us, you just notice what you notice. And if you can't put words to it, it's fine. The important thing is just to take you the intention of sensing it and through and just getting to know the sensation quality that's here in the space, becoming familiar with it. Ah, yeah. In a way that's deeper than content, it's just sensation itself. And then we ask, we sort of think a thought.

So you could say or think, and it would be true, I am aware of this sensation. This is a true thought, correct? So it's true for me. I am aware of this sensation here in the back of my head. So each of you following along, notice, I am aware of this sensation, wherever it is for you. And you can just take a moment to register the truth of this. Yes, this is true. I am in this moment aware of this.

So then we ask us a strange question and just notice what emerges. And the question is, and where is the eye located? Where is the eye that's aware of this sensation? And then just allow whatever location emerges to emerge. It's not anything you can figure out or need to figure out. We just let the location emerge. So for me, where is, I am aware of this sensation here. where's the eye that notices, where's the eye that's aware?

Where is the eye located? Ah, and what I'm getting right now is this place a little bit behind my head and a little bit, it's half in and half out, partly in the back of my head, part mostly outside, actually. And it's sort of a blob shape of area of space back here behind my head, back here behind my head. head. And what comes for you, Tara? It's similar. It's kind of a shadowy blobby and it goes a little above the head and down behind the shoulders, but it's behind. Uh-huh, uh-huh. It goes a little above the head and also down behind the shoulders. And it's behind you. Kind of a soft oval blob that's larger than the body that's kind of a little bit above and a little bit below the shoulders. Okay, great, larger than the body.

And yeah, larger larger than the top part of my body. It's behind and larger than, yeah. Great, great. Great. Okay. So, and just so for, for you, those of you doing this with us, this can be any shape and size. It can be located anywhere and it can be any shape and size. So for Tara and I, it was both kind of bit outside. side and behind a little bit, but sometimes they're in front of the body. Sometimes it's above. It could even be below. And sometimes it's close. Sometimes it's far away somewhere. Once I had somebody who said, you know, it's like it's in another galaxy. And that's unusual. But it really can be anywhere. And it can even be inside the body. So I've had people say, oh, it's inside my chest or it's

inside my head somewhere. I think, or it can be in my shoulder. It can be anywhere. So, okay, and now that you've noticed the location, take a moment to sense in and through the space of this. So for me, this place behind my head, there can be a sensing in and through the space of this to notice the sensation quality here.

And by sensation quality, I mean it might be airy, It might be dense, it might be warm, or it could be cool. It could be vibrating. It could be still. It could be bubbly or fizzy. It could be, hmm, what else is there? And these are the kinds of, it could be something you can't even put into words. But it's a matter of if we could sense in and through the space of this, what's the sensation quality?

Almost the same as if we could touch into a bowl of soup on the table. you know, or a bowl of pudding, you know, if we touch a bowl of soup, that's a different consistency, a different sensation than if we put our fingers into a bowl of pudding. And so when we sense, it's as if there's a sensing in through here. Again, we're getting to know this in a very intimate way that's deeper than content. We're just noticing the sensation itself. And for me, I'll take time to do this now. Hmm. For me, if the sensation is, okay, there's a little bit of clouding it. Mostly it's kind of airy, actually.

And there's a little bit of cloudiness, a little bit of grayness, especially on the bottom side of it. And a tiny vibratiness too, especially on the bottom part of it. And that's what I noticed so far. Most of the inside is kind of scary space. And how about for you this time, Tara? I would love to be more diversion to give examples, but airy and cloudy, slightly cloudy, were what came.

Okay. You and I are just a little too much in sync today. Or just, yeah, anyway. Okay, yeah, kind of cloudy too. And just so that if you're following along again, it can be anything. Sometimes they're dark and dense, almost like metallic or hard. It could be that it's just empty space. Sometimes it's a whirlwind.

it could be or a vibratiness or a pulsing. Again, really it could be anything. So the important thing is to honor whatever emerges for you and to realize there's nothing that's better or worse. The only thing that matters is that we include how it actually is rather than try to make it up different. So, it can be easy to think, oh, if it's like a golden sun, that would be better than if it's a dark cloud. not really. What's really good, what's really perfect is to include however these show up for us in this moment. That makes it perfect because this field of awareness, which we'll get to in a moment, it doesn't care between there's no difference to the field of awareness between a dark cloud and a sun that looks all warm in terms of the welcomeness to it. So,

let's go to the next step. Do you have any quick thing you want to ask or point out, Tara, so far? No, I'm riding with you. Okay, great, great. So we're going to go on now. So I was hinting at the next piece, which I think most of your listeners are already familiar with. And we're going to go back to that sentence. I am aware of this sensation.

So we've explored now what is the sensation and experience, not our concepts about it, You know, if we start with a word like, oh, it's angry, well, then we want to let go of the word and just notice the sensation. And then we've already explored the I. I am aware of the sensation. We've explored the eye. We know where it's located. We know size and shape. We know it's sensation quality. And again, if it first starts with an emotional quality, like it's angry, we just let that go. Or it's sad. Let that go. And then we just sense in and through. and this is the really most intimate level of getting to know something that we can do. So we're doing this. But now we've gotten to know the I, we've gotten to know the sensation, but let this sentence, I am aware of this sensation.

What about that middle word awareness? So we're going to explore that a little bit now. And I know pretty much everybody, maybe everybody who listens to your talks, Tara, is already familiar with that word. And at the same time, I'm going to guide everyone through a simple way to experience, a simple way to experience awareness, just to have it fresh and present right now. And also because what I've noticed in working with other people is that even people with meditation backgrounds, sometimes usually actually have different experiences of awareness.

So unless we sort of invite a particular experience, each person might have their own unique one. And in this case, it's helpful to have a particular way of experience of awareness that allows this process to unfold organically and most richly in the most complete way. And it's this. So we can easily recognize right now that awareness is present through our body because it's easy to notice. We just a moment earlier, we noticed the sensation. We couldn't have done that if awareness wasn't already there through the body. And if something were to touch me on my shoulder or you on your shoulder or your knee, there would be an automatic awareness of this. And it's not like you would have to send your awareness there and go, oh, maybe something's touching

me. I better send awareness out over there and find out. You know, it's more that awareness is already present. So there's an automatic registering. And so right now we can experience how our awareness is already automatically present throughout the entire body. And then if we attend to the space all around, we can, awareness is also present there throughout the space all around. And we can notice this because if there's a sound to the left, somebody snaps their fingers or calls your name or say somebody calls your name to the right, there's an automatic receiving of the sound.

And again, it's not like we have to go out and get the sound, there's just the sound, we experience the sound without effort. There's an automatic receiving of it because awareness is already present through the space all around us. And this is true with the sound in any direction, front, back, left, right, up, down. There's an automatic readiness to automatic receiving that just happens without effort. So we can experience this sense of space all around us, this awareness that's all around us, that can easily, even prior to experience itself, prior to an experience, this capacity to experience is already present in the space in every direction. And there's not really any edge of border to it in our

subjective experience. We know, if we think about it, we realize, well, it can't be, I wouldn't hear a sound if it's on the other side of the world, I wouldn't hear that. And yet in our subjective experience, we can't find an edge or border to this experience of awareness, this capacity to notice that's everywhere all at once simultaneously. So just experiencing all that, the awareness through the body, the awareness all around. Now we return to the experience of the eye from a moment ago. And just notice where yours is located. So for me, it's this place outside my handle here. And then sensing in and through, notice again the sensation quality in and through the space. And then what we do is we just offer an invitation,

sensing this, however it is, notice what happens when the sensation here, the aliveness here, is invited to open and relax in and as the false space of awareness that's all around and throughout. And then there can just be a letting go into the happening of that. And we just allow whatever happens to happen, whatever doesn't happen. Nothing has to happen. We just let whatever does happen happen. And then whenever things settle, we can return to this room. When I do this with the whole group, I usually let several people share their experiences so we can get an idea of the variety. and I can share mine and you can tell me what happened for you if you'd like

and I can share a few other examples too so would you want to go first or shall I yeah then to begin yeah okay for me what happened was this that felt like empty space but a little grayness on the bottom

and as it was invited to dissolve and melt it's almost like it became more now light instead of space, but an invisible light and kind of a, so that's and it felt more, I could feel more stillness coming through me as that happened. So that's just how it went this time. And it goes different ways for me. And I just want to share with you and for everybody. Sometimes when I do this, nothing happens, you know. So it depends on what I found inside. But, we can count on, always the right thing happens. So if nothing happens, that's the right thing for

this moment. And it tells us what to do next. And with the wholeness work, there are these, it just says, okay, go here instead of here. Yeah. So how did it go for you? Yeah. So there was this kind of somewhat spacious, cloudy, but airy sense of a, you know, a witnessing self back here. and when I extended the invitation to relax in and as the whole field of awareness, there was a sense of everything opening and that the entire field was actually more more vibrant. So it had light, but it's almost like whatever was dissolving into it enriched it so that the whole there was a lot more of a sense of aliveness everywhere. And no, and there wasn't a sense of centralizing.

There was a sense of everything spread. Yes, yes. Beautiful Tara. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And just I want to just follow up on that a little bit because what you said is so important. Because when we, what's happening when we do this? When we take this eye and we let it relax or dissolve. back into the field of awareness.

What's happening? Well, the way I think about it, it's like this contraction of consciousness. These eyes that we formed, the way I think about it, it's a contraction from the field of awareness that we are. It's a contraction of our full consciousness. And so it's there for a purpose.

It's trying to serve us in some way. And yet when it dissolves back into the hole, the whole becomes enriched. And you just described that so beautifully. It's the, yeah, it's like the aliveness that was removed from the hole in order to have this separate thing. It's now back into the hall. So the field of awareness becomes more rich, more full. Yeah.

I mean, I sometimes use the word of ice-cubness that we're caught in a kind of ice-cubness. We're identified with a much more tight, solidified energy. And that when it relaxes into the hole, what has been. frozen enriches the flow of the hole. So there's all these different metaphors, but that's one of the ones. Yes, yes. I like that one too. Yeah.

Yeah. The ice cube. Yeah. Sometimes they use the cube of sugar in the cup, you know. And then we let it melt and going into the hole. Yeah. Yeah. Just all the ways of, I think these metaphors can be nice ways of assisting us in letting

go into just letting it happen as it happens. And yeah. And the ice cube is metaphor, you know, it's especially nice, I think, and that it's like we don't lose anything. Nothing is when this melts, we don't lose anything. It's all the water that was ever contained in that ice cube is still here. It just has more possibility of flow. That's right.

It doesn't make the ice cube wrong like it's some alien. It's part of the hole. It's intrinsically made of the awareness and coming back into its home. But I want to just name, when you led that, there felt to me to be a few really key pieces that I would love you to speak to. And one is that most of us, when we're having an experience, don't ask, okay, so where's the I that is having this experience? that that is unconscious and your work is bringing into consciousness this background of eye that's there that has a contracted energy form but is not in awareness and bringing it into awareness is the magic.

And then the second piece is that this beautiful invitation, you're not trying to change anything, just inviting it to relax and join or whatever. the fullness of the field. So can you just speak to the centrality and what your understanding is of those two pieces? Because I think that's what, I hope people leave and just keep exploring that. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, so those two key pieces. Let's see. This bringing it, yes, exactly. What we're bringing into conscious awareness, something that is there, but we didn't know it was there. And that's this perceiving, we could call it the perceiving self. And with wholeness work, that's where we start.

That's where I guide people to start. Because that's the place, it's out of our consciousness. And yet we've constructed, if you've done this more than many times I know, and I've done it many times. So when we have more than one eyes, we formed more than one, most of us have formed many, many, many. So as we find them with this kind of method, we naturally invite them to dissolve back into the whole.

We come more to this undivided presence, but what's happening there? So this eye, why do we do this? You know, why do we even need this eye? Well, here's one way to think about it. The perceiving self is the first filter with experience that we put on experience. So when we come in as babies, perhaps we could say, okay, we just have the, you look into an eyes of a baby and you can see they have this.

It's fun as long as they're warm, fed, and dry, as I usually put it, you know, I've had babies. I know they can scream and be difficult. But when they're warm, dry fed, you know, you look into their eyes and there's this sense of, ah, this undivided presence that is quite beautiful, quite lovely. people get in trance looking to the eyes of the baby. So it's the lovely thing. But then we start forming all these eyes as we learn to navigate the world. And they happen at the unconscious level. So they happen completely differently than we would ever design if we put our conscious minds to it.

You know, they're unusual shapes, sizes, and locations and unusual configurations. So that's what we find. But back to this main point, it's like, so this is. our main inch, this is at the deep unconscious level, our first interface with the world. And even our first interface with our own experience. So even if we turn inward and going, okay, I'm going to notice this feeling that I have, you know, my feelings of hurt, anger, anxiety, whatever, my discomfort, comfort, joy, love, you know, there's this often this first interface that goes undetected, the eye that's aware of this. And that eye tends to create a filter. It tends to,

that's where lots of limiting beliefs are held. At the unconscious level, lots of limiting beliefs are just contained in that. And the nice thing, there are all kinds of therapy formats built around finding and releasing or changing limiting beliefs. But I'm finding that it's much more simple. We don't have to go to all that work. We can find, by finding the eyes, the perceiving self, we find this really fundamental holder of the limiting beliefs. And as this melts back into the whole, we don't necessarily even need to know what those limiting beliefs were, but we're free. We're free of them. We're liberated from the constraints. And so people, you know, voice this in many ways. to me. It's like, wow, you know, sometimes people literally say, after doing this, it's like the air is

clearer and going, yeah, it's easier to see what's actually there on the outside without these filters over it that our perceiving self may be placing. And it's even easier to have compassion for ourselves on the inside our own experience when the perceiving self is included. Is there any danger Connie Rae of let's say I'm in I'm squeak I have a real squeeze of shame about something and if I you know I feel the sensations I feel where it is and then I say you know what's the self where's the self that's experiencing it in some way that that's a move away from the rawness and vulnerability of the shame that really is needing to be fully felt like can we prematurely exit an experience to look for the filter of the eye and actually undercut the process.

Okay, you're getting right to some deep and important distinctions. So what we just did was the very beginning of the first practice. It's not even complete first practice. So the thing about wholeness work is it's really simple to do. It's really fast, even, and easy once you have the experience. But it takes a little while to lay the groundwork to make sure. And then to. So I can do a full basic process in myself in five minutes, three minutes. Once I guided my husband at his request.

And he was having pre-migraine oras. and he decided he wanted to try wholeness work with this. And I'm going, well, you know, you can't do any harm. You know, who knows if it's going to make any difference, but it's not going to hurt anything. So let's just try it out. And so I was guiding him and we go through the first steps. And actually, we only got as far as what I've taken myself and you and our list, our community here listening today.

And right at that point, he goes, it's all different, Connie Ray. you know, and I'm going, okay, well, let's just finish the process. He goes, no, no, you don't get it. It's gone. There's no, there's no, there's nothing here to process. Oh, my, you don't know how many people are listening going migraines. It helps. Oh, my gosh, sign me up. Yeah, yeah. Now, it's not always that fast and easy, but some, so I think what I was attempting to come around and say is that once we learn the whole basic process, you can do it really fast. but it also becomes less relevant, whether it's fast or slow, because all of it is about a nourishment to the system. And so getting back to your question about shame, that's a special case.

And that involves, okay, we'll just dive right into this. Perhaps it's useful anyway. So with wholeness work, the way I think about it now, When I was, when this was, it was developing this or it was coming to me or however we would say it, it was through a kind of desperation and really searching inside for, for the guidance, you know, the guidance would come from, I don't know where, deep within, you know, and then also I think the reflection of the things that I'd read from spiritual teachers, you know, this helped and the things I got from NLP that helped. But ultimately, I was not doing this mentally. I was then letting myself be guided. And so I didn't have it all. I didn't understand what I was doing when I was doing it.

And understanding it came afterwards. And wholeness work, I think that's the best way to do it. If people experience it and then the understanding, the way I think about it is whatever you need to know will be revealed to you. It will be. It will be. It's not like your mind has to figure anything out. So we process these experiences of shame or whatever, whatever we need to know, it becomes revealed to us.

But to deal with, it's helpful to know that to deal with something like shame, that involves more than what we just did today. I would not attempt to do that with just this piece. And so it involves what I call, what I've come to call, describe as the universal structures of the unconscious that holds suffering in place. So that, you know, nobody's ever quite said that before. And so that has no meaning. It's like if I say it's blah, blah, blah, you know, what does that even mean? You know? So, but I think once people go through, in the book, it's explained.

You get it. Thank you for experience. It's finding these, what just like when we find the eye, as you put it so nicely, I think, so beautifully, it's something we weren't aware of, but it's been, it's been limiting. this limited self experience that's been unconsciously present and constraining us, but we didn't know it. So that's what I realized after working with just the eyes for a while, it became clear there was more. There are other universal structures of the unconscious besides just the self, the self structures. And so that's what is in the book.

And that's what you need. you need the next one or two structures to, and then with those, you can really resolve shame in a kind, gentle way. And it also becomes nourishment for the field of awareness that we are, really. That's, that really resonates. And I realized as I asked that, that I was, I was following an exercise that was really preliminary with the question that really required more experience in the system. But I get that in the same, it resolved. in the same way as something that's a valued expression of awareness that just needs to relax and dissolve and rejoin awareness. It just has a different process of engaging with it initially.

Yes, and it's a different, with shame, we need to find and include what I call the authority structures and within, and there's a different line of questioning to reveal them. We're finding the eye that's as simple. It's like, I am aware of this, where's the eye located? That's the start. And then as then with wholeness work, what we do is we, we discover that it's not usually that simple. For most people, they have a nesting of eyes inside. It sounds complicated, but it's really quite simple. So once we find the nesting of eyes or the layering, then we then, so anybody who tried the exercise, but you didn't get anywhere, that's probably what you. you needed is to find the nesting of eyes that is already existing in the system that holds

this one in place, and then it can all dissolve comfortably and easily. I wouldn't trust it if it sounded too simple. I just want to say that, and I'm aware of, there's so many directions like we could go. And because of time, I'd like to ask, if you will, to, if you could leave us with a few things you wish we would remember about the process of transformation. Some basic principles you feel like are going to help us just to know them, just to reflect on them, and also how those principles actually apply to our world, too. Yes, yes. I'd be happy to do that. So in the book there, I have mapped out 15 of the assumptions, and some of them will be completely familiar to anyone on a spiritual path.

Because I think what wholeness work is, is it ends up being a sort of a really precise how to do it. So a handbook to make it a little easier what we've been all attempting to do. So let me take you by your hand, ask these questions, and then find out it's a little easier for you. So some of these assumptions will be completely familiar. And I think all of them will align with the spiritual path in general. So they include things like the first ones I bring out in the trainings are things like

we include everything. Do I have time for a roomy poem here? Of course. Of course. Oh, great. I just love the roomy poetry. And so there's one thing, the roomy pay homage. And it goes like this.

if God said, Rumi, pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms. There is not one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, not any action I would not bow to. So that's what I think of. When I think of wholeness work, we're including every single thing. So if an interfering or distracting thought comes in, there are other ways. You need to know a little more to be able to do it in a kind way that also the distractions,

the interferences, the things we don't like about ourselves, these all become part of what enriches the field of awareness that we are. So that's the first thing, including everything. I love it. I love it. Then the next thing is no force. No force. it's always about inviting.

And then when we invite, force comes from the idea that one aspect of ourselves would know better what the others should do. That's never really true. So when there's resistance, there's always wisdom in the resistance. And that's what we can discover. So if we invite and when, so if I invite this eye to dissolve and it doesn't, then that's wisdom. It's not a problem. It's attempting to show us, reveal to us, something else that needs to be attended to next. So the ins and outs of this, you know, I've just been going through the book and I've got a lot of this packed into the book, hopefully in an easy way to take in and absorb.

So there is a lot of it in the book already, how you can start doing these ins and outs and include everything. And then the third thing is we go the easy way. And this relates to earth too. We go the easy way. When we're doing this work as intended, it's always kind, it's always gentle, it's always easy. And if it's hard, then we find the one who's efforting and we include that, you know. So, and then you know the others, Tara, you know, there's things like there's this, that there is a basic, undivided presence already within us, this true nature we could call it that's already present

within us. So basically, we're inviting the system to do what it already wants to do. And I think this is where a lot of people get stuck with some kinds of personal development methods. It's like there's thinking that we have to fix ourselves or make ourselves better or attempt to change ourselves and sort of push ourselves and nudge anyway. You know, when actually there's, if we work at a deep enough level, we find the place where the system already longs for wholeness. The system already longs for this completion. I just want to pause with that because that is so beautiful.

I mean, if we could really remember that, that every part in us longs to belong to the whole. Yes, yes. and need some attention to help it to relax into that. Yes. But there's no part that doesn't in some deep way want to unfold into that wholeness. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So the name of the book again, I just want to say it for anyone that's listening,

is the wholeness work essential guide. It's level one healing and awakening. And I have read, actually loved it so much. I wrote a forward, which I rarely do, and think it's just an amazing guide. It's like if this brought up any sense of, wow, I want to explore this, this book will help you. It'll help you to really, and it has all the different layers and pieces, to really work with yourself and with others. And I just want to say that in my mind, Kanye Ray, the principles that you're bringing up

are really the same that we need in our world, that there's no. no population, there's no person, there's no part of, no animal that isn't an essential part of the loving undivided presence of the entire universe. And if we could come into relationship with others the way you're talking about doing with the parts of ourselves that have been divided, we'd have a path for healing our world. So I just see the parallels over and over again in what you write. Yes. I love how you put that, Tara. Yeah.

It's just in the same way, every, all the parts we might consider difficult within ourselves. They end up being a part of what enriches the whole that we experience. And in the same, same thing is true on the outside. These groups, these other people that we think

are awful, you know, and terrible. And, you know, when we judge, it's like, I think when we find this inside, it helps also begin to recognize, ah, this must be also true on the outside. There's no part of this creation that somehow is a part of this undivided love that makes up the whole. Yeah.

Okay. I want to, that's a beautiful place, Dan. There really isn't. It's all included. And I wish we had way more time. We could have gone so many different directions. and I'm so grateful that you were on for this. And I am so thankful that you have invited me, Tara.

You have touched me personally, and I feel so honored that you made an introduction for the book. It just means a lot to me. So thank you again. Blessings, my friend.