Tara Brach - Heart Meditation: Letting Go of Judgment (2015-09-05) (retreat)

Episode Date: September 18, 2015

Heart Meditation: Letting Go of Judgment (2015-09-05) (retreat)

Greetings. I'm Tara Brock and I'd like to welcome you to these podcasts. While the talks and meditations are offered freely, we'd very much appreciate your support. To make a donation or learn more about my schedule, please visit tarabrock.com and our I'mcw.org. Thank you. So please settle in in a way you're sitting comfortably. I might want to collect with the breath a little. Taking a nice deep, full in breath. And then a slow out breath. And again, nice, full in breath.

And releasing the breath slowly, feeling the sensations of letting go. Letting go. And one more time. Breathing in fully. And exhaling, slowly, releasing and letting go. And then as your breath comes back into its natural rhythm, just relaxing with the breath for a few moments, and letting your senses be awake.

letting come to mind a relationship where you feel stuck in a pattern of averse of judging, where you feel identified with that scaliness. And choose what you feel will be helpful for this particular time and moment. If there's a lot of trauma in it, you might find that it's not so helpful right now. Feel what you can work with. And when you've identified a person where you'd like to feel that you're not creating so much armoring or distance, where you'd like to have more of a forgiving open heart, let yourself go right to a situation that triggers or brings up the judging. And if you're no longer very actively engaged with the person, it'll be something in the past that happened.

where there was some injury to you. And if it's ongoing, just whatever most exemplifies what comes up that brings up your reactive judging. And see if without adding more judgment, if you can just become mindful of the flags, all the flags that let you know, okay, I'm in the aversive judgment trance, certain kinds of thoughts that go through,

things you're telling yourself about that person, what you're believing, perhaps what you're believing the person's behavior means. They wouldn't be acting this way if they didn't fill in the blanks. So this is really getting familiar with what the scales of aversive judgment are and noticing how your body and heart feel when you're in that defendant, and reactive place, just as we did earlier. The shaman say that if we name an emotional experience, it doesn't control us so much.

Well, if you can name and recognize the scales of averse of judgment, you can have some more choice about it. Now, an inquiry is, if you were less defended, if you weren't blaming, if you weren't believing your blaming thoughts, what is it that's difficult that you'd have to open to and feel? And I'm inviting you to just check in and sense, if you stop blaming so much, what is the pain that you'd have to feel? And I'm going to invite you as you're reflecting on this to sense yourself in a group

right now where everyone is reflecting on the same thing, those that are here, those that will be listening, that we have these judgments and underneath them there's some vulnerability that's difficult to feel. if we let go of the scale of judgment, we'd have to feel it. And I'm wondering if a few people might just raise your hand and I'll point. And just let's hear the words out loud. What's the vulnerability underneath the judgment that we'd have to feel? Loss of friendship.

So we'd have to feel the grief and the loss. Yeah. He doesn't care about me. Rejected. Disappointment. Unworthiness. Not good enough. That feeling of...

of deficiency, yeah. Lack of respect, unseen, yeah, abandoned, sorrow. Thank you. Continue to practice and just sense your own, but also just this whole medulla of vulnerability that this is not my vulnerability, it's the vulnerability that's underneath a verse of judgment. And for now, see if you can simply acknowledge. You've recognized it. Just acknowledge the vulnerability that's there. It's as if you're just pausing and saying, okay, this is part of reality.

And it's a willingness to let it be. And see if that's possible. The Buddha story of the Buddha encountering Mara, which is all the vulnerable things. flavors of anger, greed, hatred, delusion, and so on. The Buddha's response to Mara's appearance, much like the story you heard last night about the demons in the cave, was to say, I see you, Mara, let's have tea. So that's what you're doing right now.

You're saying, I see you to this vulnerability. And now let's have a more intimate attention. Let me get to know you some. So as a way of getting to know this vulnerability, see if you can just breathe with it and feel it and sense as directly as possible how it is living in your body, the felt sense of it. For some people, just feeling the in-breath is contacting that soft spot, that place of feeling unworthy, rejected, hurt, sorrow, unseen, not respect. So this is the courageous part, being willing to feel it viscerally.

And if it helps you, and I encourage it to put your hand on your heart to keep the attention right there. Rumi says keep your eye on the wounded place, that's where the light enters. Just to keep the attention there. And you might sense if you go right inside the place that feels most vulnerable underneath the judging scales and ask, what is the same? What is this place most want or need? How does it want me to be with it?

What would most help this place to feel right now? And that place might need you to just say it's okay that you're here. Or perhaps it needs to be forgiven. Or maybe it needs directly to be bathed in love, sense if it's possible from the most sincere place in your being just to offer the love or tenderness or presence that's needed. And if you feel like you need help with that, call on whatever source you trust, the love that lives through someone else that you feel is dear, or it could be through a deity, God, Buddha, Kwanian, Jesus. It could be the love that comes through your cat or your dog,

a child, someone who's already passed, just let love embrace you, let it flow in to this place that needs to be held. Maybe there are words that you can offer inward that help to carry that loving. You might sense into that. And as you bring that presence and tenderness to the vulnerable place, begin to sense

your own experience of your own being, to sense the space, the kindness, beyond any identity, because it's from that space that you can now bring your attention to the other person to look through the eyes of understanding, the heart of understanding,

and just see the other person in a more whole way with that kind of discerning wisdom that sees how that person might be hurting, caught themselves with unmet needs, confusion, to sense perhaps who that being is underneath the scaliness, to sense into the innocence, the child that then got covered over, the purity that got armored. And you might sense your deepest intention towards that person,

one master said, to not push anyone, including ourselves, out of our own, heart. Perhaps it's simply to include this being with loving presence, to wish this being well, to know how to take care of yourself and keep your heart tender, whatever it is, just sense your wish and your intention. You might again ask that deep inquiry, who would I be if I let go of judging, of the scales of averse of judgment? Who would I be if I included my own being fully, in my heart. This is Rumi. I've gotten free of that ignorant

fist that it was pinching and twisting my secret self. The universe and the light of the stars come through me. I am the crescent moon put up over the gate to the festival. This last moments

to just rest in the stillness, to rest in that heart of compassion, that allows the different waves to come and go, just holding this life with a tenderness and presence. It's really the truth of who you are. Namaste and thank you for your presence and your attention.