Tara Brach - Inner and Outer Democracy: The Practice of True Inclusion

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Happiness and freedom arise as we include all parts of our being in a loving awareness. In this talk we explore how this inner work of inclusion is the grounds of democracy, and how it enables us to participate in our relationships and society in a way that fosters communications, belonging and realization of the greater good. 

Greetings. We offer these podcasts freely and your support really makes a difference. To make a donation, please visit tarabrock.com. Namaste. Thank you for being here, my friends. So I'll begin with a story that's come to mind a lot recently and it starts with this committee of a congregation that is ensnared in a very bitter debate about the way one of the core religious rituals is to be conducted, you know, who performs it, how often. So they're in a very hostile debate. People are divided. It's tested friendships in the congregation. So one person suggests they seek the counsel of one of the oldest living members of the congregation. And they agree

and a couple go to speak with them. And the first one says, well, did they do it this way back then. No? He goes, no, they didn't do it that way. And then another one says, well, what about this way? Is that the way they did it? No, they didn't do it that way. And then they start getting upset. Well, what are we supposed to do? The entire congregation, we've forgotten more family. Everybody's arguing. No one can listen to each other. There's ugliness, there's contempt. And the old man said, mm-hmm, that's the way we did it. And I really like that in the sense that it's humbling, that over and over again, individuals, families, organizations, countries, there's dividedness and hostility and we keep repeating

the same ways that we get ourselves stuck, you know, not listening to each other, thinking we're right. It's just a natural part of living. And it's been through human history. perceiving others that in some way are different as threatening. And then we get caught in this limbic reactivity where we're caught in anger, in fear, sometimes hatred. And what happens is at those times we lose access to our capacity for executive functioning,

real reasoning, for sensing a larger belonging, for open-heartedness. we lose our sense of family that we belong. You might remember Mara. Mara is the figure in Buddhist mythology that represents the shadow, the challenging emotions of anger, greed, hatred, jealousy. And when the god Mara takes over, it means that we're feeling separate. We're basically at war with ourselves and as it comes out with each other and it's Mara is the cause for conflict around the world. I often reflect on the Dalai Lama's words that if every eight-year-old in the world is taught meditation

will be able to eliminate violence from the world within one generation. And I would just add to that if every eight-year-old's taught meditation, democracy would flourish around the globe. And the reason, meditation evolves our brain, our heart, our mind. You know, when we're operating from a more primitive brain, when we're ruled by fear, by aggression, we're caught in fight, flight, freeze. That's how we relate to our world. And so meditation activates the more recently evolved parts of our brain.

You know, I mentioned the part of the frontal cortex that has to do with executive of functioning. Meditation awakens mindfulness, this capacity to notice what's going on without reactivity or judgment. Meditation awakens compassion, a quality of tenderness towards what we're experiencing. So what it translates to is that if eight-year-olds are trained in meditation, There's going to be more emotional regulation, working with difficult emotions, there's going to be more emotional intelligence, sensing what the messages of the motions are, more capacity to communicate, to collaborate, to listen to each other, to honor different voices, and more of a sense of belonging to the collective, you know, of the greater good. and actually this is the trajectory of consciousness, realizing our identity as belonging to larger holes. So with meditation practice,

we shift from this more primitive psyche that's ruled by fear and aggression, this primitive psyche that feels separate and feels like itself and other, or the in-group and out-group, to a more whole integrated heart mind where there's a sense of belonging, where there's a sense of care. Okay, so our church community, you know, with all the opposing views and opinions, send them off to a five-day mindfulness retreat.

You know, and inwardly they'll start becoming aware of emotions, process them some, so they can feel what's there, but they're not caught in it. They can sense really what most matters to them underneath. the emotions, what they're most afraid of, and then it allows for mindful communication, being able to speak and listen respectfully, they get enriched by each other's views, and they can find their way to the greater good. They can reopen to a sense of congregation or family. Okay, so I'm using this example because meditation cultivates an inner democracy within our

own body mind. It allows us to include all emotions, all parts of ourselves with the compassionate mindful awareness. You know, we're listening to our inner life. We're listening to the intelligence of our emotions. And that allows us to take care of ourselves and navigate in the best way possible on behalf of our whole being. That's what enables outer democracy. And what we're exploring today is how the capacity for an inner democracy really is what enables us to be in relationship with others and as a society in a way that's truly inclusive, collaborative, that works. So, as we know, our current times are not conducive to inner and outer democracy. You know, the more the spiking of stress and fear, the more we regress.

We get taken over in a sense by our limbic system, our more primitive brain, and we lose contact with the larger sense of belonging. So today's reflections are really going to be focusing in on how we can strengthen and cultivate that sense of inner democracy. We're including and honoring all parts of our being and how that does build our capacity for outer democracy in our relationships with others and as a society.

So we begin with the grounds of meditation training and that's really meeting what arises with what we call the two wings of awareness. You can think of the two wings as two questions. One wing, the wing of wise understand, says, what's happening inside me right now? And the other wing, which is the wing of compassion and love, says, and can I meet this with kindness? The story that many are familiar with that illustrates the two wings of awareness, that illustrates really this basic

functioning of meditation, is the, again, Buddhist mythology of how the Buddha interacted with Mara. And as the story goes, some of you, this is going to be very familiar, and it's a wonderful, wonderful metaphor. The Buddha would be teaching out in a field to large groups of people outside of villages and all of a sudden he'd see Mara skirting around the edges, you know, and the Buddha's loyal attendant, Ananda would say, oh no, Mara's here, you know, the Buddha would say, no worries. And then he'd go right up to Mara and say, I see you Mara. Come, let's have tea.

And that's the two wings. I see you, Mara, mindfulness. Come, let's have tea. Compassion, opening up our hearts. And I think it's such an elegant and wise part of the mythology of the Buddha because the more we include, the more we have tea with morrow with our shame, our anger, our hatred, greed, loneliness, the more happy and free we become. It's that basic.

If we include everything in awareness, with some kindness, we become that spacious field of awake and tender presence. We're really inhabiting our true potential. That's all about wise inclusion. And the reason we need to be intentional about this, like why we're even talking about this, it's just utterly natural to avoid what's unfamiliar or different or difficult. In other words, it's entirely natural to not want to have tea with Mara. And the most basic expression of Mara that we avoid is fear.

So each of us, we have this conditioning to see. sense Mara hanging out on the edge of the field. We can sense fear either very directly or more in the background, and we have ways of avoiding it. And of course, the more we avoid fear, the more suffering we're in personally. And societally, the key cause of violence in our world is unprocessed fear. It turns to aggression. Okay, so the first step in creating an inner democracy is to be on to or Mara management strategies. Like we do anything but befriend and have tea. Anything.

There's a story I've always loved of this man's in the supermarket, and he keeps crossing paths with a grandma and her badly behaved three-year-old granddaughter. So it's very clear to him that she has her hands full with this child who's always screaming for this sweet or this biscuit or whatever she's passing in the aisle. and by the way, I've experienced that one. Okay, so the grandma's working on her way around the store and she's staying in a very controlled voice, easy Ellen, we won't be long, easy girl. Another outburst and here's the grandma commonly saying,

it's okay, Ellen, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, hon. And at the checkout, the little terrors throwing items out of the card and grandma sang again in this controlled voice, Ellen, Ellen relaxed, you don't get upset. We'll be at home in five minutes. Stay cool, Ellen. Very impressed.

Man Zout in the parking lot, he sees them. Grandma's loading her groceries into the car and the child too. So he says to her, you know, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it the whole time you kept

your composure, no matter how loud and disruptive she got. You just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Ellen's very lucky to have you as your grandma. Thanks to the grandma. But I'm Ellen. This little terror is Jennifer. So it's natural to manage Mara through difficult circumstances,

including calm self-talk, great strategy. It's difficult to have tea in the supermarket. The question is this, that when we have reoccurring, occurring experiences of anger or fear or resentment, are we aware of them and do we find the time to really have tea? Do we do that? To really be friend.

And for most of us, instead of tea we move away and I want to name the primary ways we move away because if we're alert to them we can begin to move towards having tea. we're talking about the Mara Management Strategies. Big one is that we distract ourselves. We are such a distractible and distracted culture and we all know it, you know, how much we text, how much we're online, how much, you know, online shopping, how much we control our experience with consuming our mental obsessing, we distract ourselves by just going off into our thoughts, overworking, all the addictive behaviors.

For some, I mean, most of us do distracting. For some, it's real denying. There's that story of two guys playing golf, and one of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and he bows his head in contemplation. And his opponent comments,

that's the most touching thing I've seen in a long time. you're a very feeling man. Man recovers himself and replies, yeah, well, we were married for 35 years. It's fun. And, you know, I'm thinking of a friend of mine whose dad recently died and her mom just kept saying, I'm fine, I'm fine, no show of emotion. And all her life, her mom had had this kind of stiff upper lip. And what's the toll it takes on relationships?

Denying can be subtle. You know, it's just not really facing or acknowledging how lonely we feel or how hurt we are when a relationship ends or how fearful we are of somebody's temper. So, distracting, denying. For some, the response to the presence of Mara is to sleep, over sleeping or to get depressed. And for some, we respond by aggression. In other words, we feel fear, insecurity, and then start judging and blaming, really aggressing against others. There's a woman who's in a job interview and she's unsure about herself.

And the interview viewer just says, well, tell me what do you think your biggest character defect would be? Her response is honesty. And he says, honesty? I wouldn't consider honesty a defect. The applicants reply, I don't care what the hell you think. Okay, with each, we're avoiding not facing what's really going on. And not only does what we resist persist, it controls our life. You know, I think of one woman, she's now in her 50s.

And as a child, she was very much neglected by alcoholic mother. And through her life, everyone that's gotten close has disappointed her. She's felt anger or blame and has come to realize that it's really blocked the kind of ease and intimacy that she would really long for with others. She's so primed to blame, to create separation, really. So her work is to revisit that, that core, raw sense of hurt and isolation to have tea with it. but of course with support with a caring container. But I name this particular one just because it's so common.

I mean if we ask ourselves, what is a child most need? Safety, feeling seen, feeling loved. And most of us, it didn't meet the level that would have been really healthy for us to some degree. And it's not just our caregivers. it's because of the culture we're in and the messages of the culture. So, for most of us, there's some work of facing the early wounds or the ongoing wounding of a society, facing what needs inclusion. And it's as Carl Jung said and this quote just comes back to me over and over again

as our suffering comes from the unseen, unfaced parts of our psyche. If we don't have an inner democracy, we struggle. Okay, so as mentioned, I'm naming the ways we avoid. And there are classic signs of avoiding Mara. Anxiety. You know, when we're avoiding something, some part of us knows, and there's just kind of a free-floating anxiety. When we're avoiding, we cut off from our body,

so we're somewhat disconnected from our bodies and we get very fixated mentally. And when we're avoiding, we cut off from our hearts. Rather than feel the tenderness of our hearts, there's an armoring. So there's a sense of being separate. If we really check ourselves out, when we're feeling very separate, we're avoiding something. We're not feeling our feelings. It's like the church group, we're going to feel at odds with others in the world. Okay, so over the last 50 years, I've gotten familiar with my own strategies of ways of avoiding Mara.

Overwork is a huge one, just working when I don't need to work, you know, just keeping myself occupied, being online unnecessarily, judging, overconsuming, food, caffeine, and more. I'm just, I get alert when I see them. And as a kind of Zen check-in, you might just sense yours. Even the last few days, can you sense, kind of a felt sense of how you might have been in management mode, avoiding what's really there? Not with judgment, and just curiosity. When were you distracting, perhaps, are denying,

our aggressing, or in some way getting away from yourself? And just the bigger picture of, again, why this matters so much, the unseen, unfelt, parts of us are the source of suffering. They cut us off from belonging to our own wholeness

and to a larger sense of wholeness. I often tell the story of this wise sage and people bring their difficulties to her and her response is really a question. What are you unwilling to feel? I really love this question. I use it a lot. And the reason, it feels very effective. Like even just then, I paused and I sensed me, what am I unwilling to feel?

Is there some behind the veil's sense of falling short or is there a sense of anxiety? What's there? And what happens with that question is that it sharpens our interest and our attention and often what was behind the veil, what was being unconsciously managed, comes forward. Just to get a taste, you might think of a research. in time of emotional reactivity when you felt stuck in some way, you know, stuck in anger or hurt or fear, maybe in a relationship, maybe at work. And if you put yourself into that situation so you can actually remind yourself, you can then inquire, you know, what am I unwilling

to feel here? Inside might be asking for acceptance or inclusion. What happens if you simply name what's there and allow it to be here. And the practice you're doing right now, this is the grounds of inner democracy. It starts with simply recognizing that Mara's here. I see you Mara. The shamans say that when you name a fear, it starts losing its power. You become larger. Short reading from Jungian psychologist Robert Johnson. He says, the night before their marriage, they held a ritual where they made their shadow vows. The groom said, I will give you an identity and make the world see you as an extension of myself. The bride replied, I'll be complying and sweet, but underneath they'll have the real control.

If anything goes wrong, I'll take your money in your house. They then drank champagne and laughed heartily at their foibles, knowing that in the course of their marriage, these shadow figures would inevitably come out. But they were ahead of the game because they had recognized the shadow and unmatched it. Okay, so the beginning of inner democracy, I see you, Murah, let's have tea. I remember the first time I consciously realized

the necessity of including what was inside. It was a taste of freedom. So this was my first Buddhist retreat. And at the time, I was going through a separation from my marriage. And also, I came with a sinus infection, so I felt terrible. So I was there struggling in this unpleasant swamp of feelings and emotions. And I began practicing what I then called a yes meditation, where I would just name whatever in the moment felt difficult,

you know, fear, worry, ache, sleepy, whatever. And then I just say yes. You know, this belongs in some way. And it was very mechanical. I just said the word yes. But then over time, the yes became more gentle. And I started sensing with whatever came up that there was just more space. It was more and more becoming like the sea with waves passing through it. And in my mind when my ex-husband would come up or others, there was a space to include with kindness. So one of my takeaways from my yes meditation was the kind of language I just shared with you is just becoming the ocean that all moves through freely all the waves. And I draw on that a lot as I teach, as you know.

The phrase that was a takeaway was that the boundary to what I accept is the boundary. to my freedom, that I need to accept Mara. Whatever form of Mara appears, I need to see Mara and have tea. And in retrospect, the retreat was the easy part. I mean, the challenge was Mara would keep arising, you know, and that happened in the mythology of the Buddha where through his life Mara would appear. And you might say, well, if Mara is going to keep coming back, why bother? you know, but the point is not to have Mara vanish. The point is to not have Mara take over, you know? The more we have tea, the more we enlarge and inhabit that sense of oceanists.

We're bigger than the waves. So for me, I had many tea parties with Alex, my ex, with the anger coming up around him. and, you know, just give you a little backup for those that aren't familiar. I had an arranged marriage in a spiritual community. So we were arranged together as partners, came from very different backgrounds, very different cultures and temperament and interests. We would not have chosen each other.

And so there we were divorcing and divorced, but we were co-parenting. so I could not shut him out of my life. I couldn't not deal with him because when I had the urge, which of course came up, I realized it would hurt my son. So the most striking experience of having tea with Mara, with the anger that I was having to process toward him, I don't remember exactly what had happened,

but in some way I had felt like he wasn't stepping forward responsibly, i.e. doing it my way. And so I had tea, and T means you take a U-turn. Instead of anger towards Alex, I came back to where Mara was living inside me with the anger. And I'd sense with the anger as I had T, this belief that he's being bad, that he's causing trouble,

that he's an obstacle to good parenting. And I'd feel Mara as heat and pressure, and I always, part of what I do when I feel anger is I say, let it rip, you know, let it be as big as it want to. to be. And when that happens, when anger becomes really big, I can sense what's under the anchor, which was fear that Narayan's not going to get the parenting he needs. And as I just befriended the fear and my hand on my heart and just have tea with Mara, be kind to that, I could just feel my care for Narayan how much I loved him and wanted the best for him. And I had expanded. I was just in a

larger space. And I could sense the truth that Narayan was loved by both of us. We both still were here and loving him and that he'd be okay. And then I also could sense that while we were divorced, in a deep way, our lives were linked, that we actually belonged, that Alex was going to continue to belong to my heart, that he was family. So I say this in 25, 30 years of past. and we are family and I am so grateful that I kept having tea because it created that kind of inner democracy that allowed for the greater good which includes us belonging together belonging as family and what I keep rediscovering and this comes back to the basic point is the more I include inner parts the more sense of belonging

and inclusion the more I feel that belonging to the world that we're all family family, all of us. Okay, I'm going to name the main block to including that inner democracy is that we tend to judge Mara, that when the anger or the fear or the shame comes up, we immediately consider it as bad. And it really helps to remember that whatever arises, these emotions are intelligent, their life-loving life, they're nature's protectors. And, I mean, think of it. Fear, it's our way of responding to danger. Anger, it's our way of overcoming obstacles. The suffering is when

Mara takes over. The suffering is when we get habituated to fear and anger. It's like the on-button gets jammed. That's when it takes over our life, shapes our personality, and creates the separations. And the on-button jams to varying degrees, we all have somewhat jammed on-buttons, to the degree our basic needs for safety, for being seen, for being loved, aren't met. You know, as I mentioned before, we all have those needs. And given our society, there's some gap in terms of how well they were met. So even if an emotion is misguided, it's the on button is jammed, it's still a flag. It still comes from some basic intelligence saying there's unmet needs here. Pay attention. Right along with that, if we make the part bad,

it only deepens the sense of an unmet need. Give you an example. Because I often think of this of one man who I worked with at a retreat one year. And he was an executive with, many people reporting to him and he had huge challenge with anger. He lost his temper in ways that were embarrassing to him and destroyed relationships. Played out at home with his wife and his teen, he hated himself for his anger. You know, he referred to it as this uncontrolled beast in him and he hated himself because it did cause harm. So I asked him, does it help you to hate it. I mean, does that help reduce it? And he knew. He said, no. He said, but I can't stop, you know, because the self-adversion was huge. I was quiet for a bit and I said, you know,

it's not your fault. And I think something in that moment, he just began to weep because the pain of it was feeling so flawed. Like he was doing something wrong for feeling that anger. He was owning the anger. And as it turns out, as we talked more, it's history, you know, father who was an alcoholic and bullied him and much in his life that led him to feeling unsafe and demeaned and shamed and primed to lash out. So the gateway to working with that anger was to forgive himself in some way to say, okay, it's not my fault.

And you might say, well, that's not going to, that's going to mean you. you're not accountable or not responsible, it's actually what led to him truly being able to respond. Because as long as he hated himself for his anger, it fueled the anger. It deepened the unmet need under it. So the basic principle, and I want to say this again, is that we have parts of ourselves we don't like. They come from unmet needs and they're not our fault. They come from what is way beyond us, parents, caregivers, society. At Richard Schwartz, who's the founder of Internal Family System, says no bad parts. And it's true.

You might remember that cartoon with a psychiatrist talking to a very dejected-looking dog. And he's saying, there's no bad dogs, just good dogs with bad behaviors. And it's true. So, healing, our inner democracy, including the parts, including the most difficult parts, that are there and trying to have tea so we can address the real needs that are driving them. Let's just pause here, friends. Give you a chance just to touch and do it a bit more. This inner democracy, this inclusion.

Brief practice here on how to deepen the... that inner democracy, when we're stuck, when there's a part of ourselves we don't like, and you might take these moments just to arrive right here, take a few full breaths, and you might scan your life, relationships, maybe addictive behavior, something to do with work, where there's a sense of being stuck, something that repeats itself, an emotion or a part of yourself that's difficult to include is part of the mix. Maybe a situation that regularly brings up jealousy, our embarrassment or shame,

our regret, or anger, or insecurity, something that's really hard to include. And just let your intention be to have tea. And the beginning is simply to say, I see you, Mara. You know, just to name what it is you're aware of. Okay, anger, insecurity, fear, just name it. And then having tea in some way it's to say yes, it's okay you're here.

Now, what's really hurting here? What's the unmet need? And you might check inside. Is this coming up because you feel the need to trust you're loved? to feel loved, to be special, to matter to somebody? Is it the need to feel seen or understood? Is it the need to feel respected? To feel safe?

Just since what need might be there that keeps driving this emotional reaction, having tea means that you forgive that Mara is here, that it's not your fault that Mara appears. Mara has appeared to the Buddha and to every human through history. You might sense within Mara this intelligence that's pointing out the unmet need and sense how you might respond with compassion. I generally like to put my hand on my heart and there's a kind of an inner communication. How do you want me to be with you right now?

You're just asking the most vulnerable part underneath the emotion, how do you want me to be with you? What's needed right in this moment? And it might be simply the sense of it's okay. I'm okay right now. Trust your goodness. I'm here and I'm not leaving. You belong. Whatever message you want to send.

So sending some form of kindness inwardly. sense who would you be if you really included this emotion, this expression of Mara in your heart? And maybe you can sense a bit of that ocean, including the waves, a greater wholeness of being, which is more the truth of who you are, than the small self at some way at war with Mara, taking a few full breaths, opening your eyes. if they were closed. Okay, so this is a life training. Democracy is a practice. It's an inner practice and an outer practice as we'll explore more. Learning to listen, to include the places that are hurting. And the grounds of self-compassion that we care. And it helps us if we do

the work of inner democracy to then quite naturally when others are hurting, sense, oh, what's happening for you? We much more quickly are able to have tea with others if we've had tea with ourselves. So, again, inwardly and on a societal level, democracy is a practice of inclusion, having tea. And just to talk about society, for a bit, that we're really learning to exclude marginalized groups for the sake of really our collective well-being. Because again, underneath the groups and what they're feeling are unprocessed hurts and fears. And when they're not tended, they lead to violence, they lead to addiction, they lead to self-harm, they impact us all. You know, after World War I and

before World War II, young Germans, because the devastation happened in the First World War, displaced, humiliated, alienated, did no meaningful identification, and they were drawn in droves to join the Nazis because it gave them meaning, belonging, empowerment. And there's a lot of research showing that in the United States today, there's a growing number of young men, no college, no work, that are feeling increasingly isolated, lonely, humiliated because there's no real place for them, feeling very little meaningful identity or belonging. And there's actually a belonging barometer seeking to, you know, explore identification that's underneath group violence. So, but the point is, as in Germany,

These men have lost status in current society and family, less relevant, and they're drawn to the militant right to populism because it gives an outlet for aggression and it gives a sense of belonging. You know, I often use the example of Ruby Sales, the civil rights icon and activist because I love her phrase, where does it hurt? And she said it totally changed how she did her social activism. She would talk about white supremacist and how that question helped her to see behind their behaviors the pain and vulnerability of fearing displacement, loss of power, loss of a meaningful place

and helped her respond with more wisdom, more inclusion in her heart, inner democracy. We need to tend to the needs of groups that behave in harmful ways. and we need to tend to the needs of those who are simply vulnerable because all are excluded from privilege and it has an impact. So what that means in terms of practicing democracy in our society is asking that question, where does it hurt? There's a school teacher really inspiring Kyle Schwartz who wanted to better understand her students.

She taught in an area with much poverty. And so she asked this question to students and asked them to write their responses, what do you want me to know? What is it you want me to know? And one child wrote, I wish my teacher knew, my dad is in jail and I haven't seen him in years. Another. I wish my teacher knew I don't always eat dinner because my mom works and I don't know how to work the stove. Another.

I wish my teacher knew I like coming to school because it's quiet here not like my house with all the yelling. I wish my teacher knew my dad died this year and I feel more alone and disconnected from my peers than ever before. I have arthritis, juvenile arthritis, and sometimes I can't do everything like other kids.

I wish my teacher knew I had ADHD and I'm different from everyone else. I wish my teacher knew that I got bullied on the bus. It made me feel sad. I wish my teacher knew how much I miss my dad because he got deported to Mexico when I was three and I haven't seen him in six years. These are real, real humans, young beings,

wanting someone to know to understand where it hurts, wanting belonging. I so often think of that phrase, it's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the nurtured. And as a society, we need to include the voices of the most vulnerable and nurture. Because if not, the wounds and fears get expressed in potentially harmful ways, and most fundamentally, we're a fractured society, a fractured family. Democracy is the practice of true inclusion.

So inwardly, just to come back home again right to your own body mind, it's those questions, what's happening inside me? Can I be with this with care? Having tea, including all parts. Sensing as we do so that we become larger, we sense a belonging to that ocean of awareness that includes the waves. And it's practicing in our society. including all groups, tending to unmet needs.

And it's something we practice with each other daily in our individual relationships, the groups that we're in, the work we're in. If we're to feel connected, if we're to collaborate, if we're to feel our belonging, it actually takes practice. A few months ago, a group of mindfulness and other spiritual leaders and teachers, put on an event, a democracy event. And so naturally the organizers were aware of our internal process. We wanted to be true to ourselves.

And there were a lot of different ideas, and some were held with very strong feelings as to how the event should go. And there was good listening. And inevitably, some didn't get their way on some things, including myself. But everyone felt heard and respected. And when we met afterwards and debriefed, one person just said, it's so clear more than having my way, the sense of togetherness, part of something larger. And the beauty is that in the deepest ways, that larger includes all beings.

And this is what really matters, that our potential is to really experience all beings as family. So there's another event coming up on September 21st, a non-partisan event. It's on my home page. And that's the deep theme, remembering that we're all family. Democracy is a practice because separations appear and we need to bridge them. We need to include what's excluded. And we have to keep re-grounding in the inner, keep having more out-to-tee. It's a deep commitment to keep bringing your spiritual heart to your human heart.

and it takes equally deep commitment each day to include others who are different. We all know in our heart of hearts how much we bad other. We know that. So to intentionally sense that and see how we can begin to reflect on truly a world family that all live in our heart, that is what is going to heal ourselves and our universe. You know, in a simple way, one of my favorite practices is moving through the day and when I encounter another person or think of another person, if I think of a group of difference, somebody that I don't agree with totally, a political leader, when I think of non-human

animals, trees, in some way to reflect we are friends, we are family. And the more I do this, and it's a cellular feeling of yes, just like with my ex-husband, we're interconnected. To the extent I do this across the board, I can never feel alone. I'm going to close with a poem and a brief reflection. This is Rosemary Watola Trauma, who I think is an awesome poet and who I'm going to actually be having on this podcast soon. And if it's true, we're alone. we're alone together, the way blades of grass are alone but exist as a field.

Sometimes I feel it, the green fuse that ignites us, the wild thrum that unites us, the inner hum that reminds us of our shared humanity. Just as 35 trillion red blood cells join in one body to become one blood, just as 136,000 notes make up one symphony. Alone as we are, our small voices weave into the one, big conversation. Our actions are essential to the one infinite story of what it is to be alive. When we feel alone, we belong to the grand communion of those who sometimes feel alone.

We are the dust, the dust that hopes, a rising of dust, a thrill of dust, the dust that dances in the light with all other dust, the dust that makes the world. So, a closing reflection, if you can, to close your eyes. or lower your gaze, again, to take a few full breaths to feel yourself right here. Bring to mind someone you know where there's a sense of warmth. Just reflecting, we are friends, we are family, sensing the truth of that, someone you don't know so well, we are friends, we are family. And sense how paying attention this way can bring out the truth of that.

someone from a group of difference who you might typically judge we are friends we are family sense the possibility non-human animal we are friends we are family

a tree or bush or plant we are friends we are family we are the dust the dust that hopes a rising of dust a thrill of dust the dust that dances in the light with all other dust,

the dust that makes the world. So friends, may we let the practice of inclusion of our inner life of all beings be at the center of life. May it become a growing love that heals and fills our world. Blessings, namaste.