Tara Brach - Letting Go of Controlling – Part 1: The Path of Freedom
Episode Date: February 1, 2024Letting Go of Controlling – Part 1: The Path of Freedom - While it's natural to try to control our life experience, our chronic controlling cuts us off from presence and obscures the loving awarenes...s that is our essence. This series of talks explores how we can let go in four key domains of controlling: clinging to thoughts, resisting feelings, holding tight to beliefs and armoring our heart. We look at how egoic controlling manifests individually and as a society; the process of awakening from exclusive identification with a separate ego/self; what it means to die into a larger reality and the similarities of psychedelics and meditation in the process of letting go. The gift of releasing the grip of controlling is true freedom; inhabiting the intrinsic beauty of our beings, and having our lives be an expression of creativity, wisdom and love.
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Greetings. We offer these podcasts freely, and your support really makes a difference. To make a donation,
please visit tarabrock.com. Namaste. Welcome, my friends. It's good to be with you.
I'd like to begin with a classic story where a novice wants to enter a monastery's talking to the
abbot and saying, well, how long will it take me to be enlightened? And the abbot's response is,
10 years. And then the novice says, well, what if I try extra hard? The response is 20 years.
Hey, wait a minute. You first said 10, for you 30. And you know, we get it. That ego striving is not
going to work. You know, that trying to get somewhere is not that liberates. I think of wellfulness and
driving and controlling as kind of a clenched fist, that we're actively squeezing, and it cuts
off life so that the understanding is we can only experience real ease, aliveness, freedom,
by relaxing open, by letting go of the clench.
And the Buddha taught something really radical, which is that freedom, love,
peace, happiness is always and already here in the moments of non-clinging, of non-resisting.
In other words, in moments of presence, when we're not trying to control life, when we're not
trying to make it different.
So, of course, there's a reason that we don't have that many moments of peace and freedom,
and that is, it's not easy to let go of controlling.
it's not easy to open to life just as it is because we have this deep conditioning to think that
something's missing, that something's wrong, and then to clench, you know, to in some way
tighten in our body, to have our mind clench into, you know, small-minded thoughts,
to clench into judgments, into beliefs.
I'd like to share a story about Lester Levinson, who was the founder of the Sedona method.
Some of you may have heard of it.
It's a psychological, spiritual healing process.
So Lester, when he was in his 40s, he got really sick.
He had heart failure, he had colon cancer.
At one point, his doctor just sent him home basically to die.
So, you know, he was facing this death sentence and he began to reflect deeply.
And he had studied all the world philosophies.
You know, he was very educated and learned.
And he looked at everything he had learned and said, well, where is this brought me?
What is it given to me?
And he dropped his ideas about life.
And he very directly inquired, he really really,
he's acquiring right to his colon, in a sense, what is your belief? And he realized the belief was
actually a demand that the world be different, that he was always living with this belief,
this demand that the world be different. Then he asked himself, well, do I really need this?
He was becoming aware, do I really need this? And he realized he didn't. And then in the time that
followed, he let go. He dropped that demand and he healed. He sensed that beingness that's beyond
the separate self, the separate self that demands life be different. So his pathway was a letting go
and unclenching the fist that was holding the belief. This is going to be the theme of our
reflection, this letting go that frees our heart that reveals the fullness, the truth of who we are.
And we'll do it in several parts. We'll be centering on four key domains of letting go,
letting go of our clinging to thoughts, letting go of our resistance to feelings, sensations,
unhooking beliefs, and letting go of the armoring around the heart.
So we start in with definition.
Letting go, it's misunderstood.
Sometimes we think of letting go as another activity we're doing, and it's not that.
It's not some willful, egoic act.
Letting go actually is an undoing of the clenching.
It's an undoing of the ways we're holding on.
and that happens naturally as we bring awareness to experience.
To get a taste, and we'll be doing this a few times, I'd like to keep touching right back
into direct experience in this talk.
So let's pause if you can close your eyes or lower your gaze.
Just begin to notice what's going on inside and take a few full breaths.
Gather yourself. Bring yourself here. From the Tibetan teachings, let go of what has passed,
let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now. Don't try to figure anything out.
Don't try to make anything happen. Relax right now and rest. Even a taste of letting go of letting go
is a taste of freedom. And there's a good reason we hold on so tightly. So if your eyes are closed,
feel free to open them. So here's the thing. To survive, we need to control some. We need to do what we
can to avoid danger. We need to pursue shelters, mates for many. In other words, we need to be
motivated to do whatever helps us and our kin thrive. So it's part of our evolutionary design and
our unfolding to develop an ego that tries to control life. That is part of the deal, that we are
rigged to try to control ourselves and others and the world. It's part of trying to promote survival.
So our mechanisms, we grasp, we hold on, we resist, we push away, we have that clenched fist.
And if we begin to explore that, and it's really interesting to investigate, we'll find that
our deepest, most familiar sense of self is that felt sense of the me that's trying to control
life to get what we want. We're trying to control life and get more food.
or promotion or approval. That's a very familiar sense of self. Or we feel that sense of that
self that's trying to avoid what we fear, trying to avoid getting sick or falling short in
some way, or avoid another's judgment, or avoid uncertainty. That's a very familiar core
sense of self, this controlling self. In a similar way,
if we investigate during the day, as we're moving through the day, we'll find that most moments,
there's some background sense that something's missing or something's wrong, that we need to
control, that we need to do something, that we need to do something to avoid what's right
around the corner that could really cause trouble. We need to in some way make life more safe
or more comfortable or more pleasant or more complete.
Take any conversation you had today, yesterday,
and just remind yourself of it.
It's more than likely that the egoic self was controlling,
trying to in some way create a certain impression in the other person's mind,
trying to be liked, trying to be respected,
trying to be understood, trying to have the other person do something a certain way,
trying to protect yourself from judgment.
On some level, rather than a spontaneous free sharing based in presence,
there's that bit of that clenched fist.
We can see it.
And if we investigate and look at the controlling moment to moment,
we can see in the most subtle ways the way we want this moment to be different,
that we're trying to change this moment,
by moving away from it with our thoughts, by physically moving,
by avoiding in some way the unpleasantness seeking more comfort,
we want the next moment to contain what this moment does not.
So we control.
Now here's the challenge with controlling.
while there are domains in daily life where we often can and may need to control, it's part of survival,
you know, controlling perhaps a day-to-day way when we get up or making sure our children,
our pets, are fed, that we're fed, you know, what task we're going to prioritize,
taking our supplements, paying our bills, who we're going to text, who we're going to email,
this whole realm, you know, stopping at a red light, there's a certain domain we can control.
But the most important dimensions of life are beyond our control.
And you know what I'm speaking of.
You know, aging, sickness, the economy, you know, world events, how others behave.
Life is essentially unpredictable.
It's uncertain.
You know, I think about this Sylvia cartoon.
Some of you may have seen these.
She's in the role of a psychic and the woman that's talking to her says, you know, my husband,
he won't talk about his feelings and she's upset about that and Sylvia said, well, all right,
we'll see what we can do.
So she looks in her crystal ball and then she says, you know, in February, 2024, men will
start talking about their feelings in moments.
women across the country will be sorry.
So we try to control what is beyond us.
And ultimately, and here's the root of it,
this self does not want to die,
and most controlling is rooted in our efforts
to manage our fear of death, of great loss and death.
So here we are.
We're in this impermanent life.
It has inevitable pain and loss.
And if we're chronically trying to control, if we're always wanting life different, trying to secure ourselves against loss,
we become a bundle of tense muscles protecting our existence.
No, we're not living fully.
One of the most basic truths found in Buddhism and other spiritual traditions is that our ongoing
compulsion to control or to grasp and resist what's happening, it's what gives rise to suffering.
And in Buddhism, the word is dukkah, which is really a much better word than suffering in a way,
because it can range from, unless you're familiar with, that kind of subtle background sense of
uneasiness off-balance, not fully here, to real anguish. And Duka arises because basically we're
at odds with reality. We're in some way trying to control, fight, resist how it is. Like Lester,
we're wanting life different.
So here's the thing. Our ego, our controlling ego, is a good servant.
You know, we need to navigate as wisely as we can, but not a good master.
Chronic controlling, you know, always wanting something, fearing something.
It makes our life small.
And this is an abstract.
I mean, you might reflect for a moment.
Again, just review maybe the past day or so.
and remind yourself of a time when you were caught in some sort of an anxious doing kind of mode.
Just take a moment, just time of stress in the last few days, and just try to sense in, what's it like
when you're anxiously managing life when there's that tightness?
Can you also feel present?
Do you have access to a wise perspective?
Do you feel at home in yourself?
Do you feel connected to others?
Creative?
It's not that hard to see.
I can do it myself so easily that the clenching is there,
that there's thoughts kind of circling in a repetitive,
small-minded way.
The body is tight.
There's not a sense of inhabiting and fueling the aliveness of the body.
There's just a tightness.
hearts not open, disconnected from others.
This is the clenched fist, the controlling ego.
And when we're in control mode, we're not able to inhabit a larger truth.
You know, John O'Donohue said it so beautifully.
He said, we're so busy managing our life that we forget this great mystery we're involved in.
We forget.
We forget the larger beingness that really expresses who we are.
Okay, so this core identity we have as an ego self with the habit of control, it's part of the evolutionary story.
It's all of us, humans, from the get-go, but it's not the end of the story.
We also have this capacity to wake up, to let go into something larger, to experience
who we are beyond that separateness.
And if you're listening, you've touched this.
You know intuitively that your essence is deeper and vaster than ego than the thoughts and
the behaviors and the personality, there's a deeper mystery. And you might taste this when you're
experiencing the arising of love or compassion, when you're feeling real energetic aliveness,
connectedness, stillness. That sense of something more can occur in nature, you know,
when you're with loved ones. Maybe Earth's...
deaths, meditations, in moments where there's presence and no controlling.
Let's pause again, my friends. Let's just pause. Take a few full breaths.
Maybe close your eyes or lower your gaze. Let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now. Don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to make anything
happen? Relax right now and rest. Perhaps as you do so you can sense a little bit of a wider
space of awareness, mystery, something more, and you've touched it. We've all had moments of
relaxing the fist, not controlling, but we tend not to pause and savor and appreciate them,
And you've probably also noticed that the experiences that we have of enlarged beingness,
where we feel we're touching something more, a deeper truth, they quickly get compartmentalized.
In other words, you might have a really good morning meditation and feel really open and peaceful.
And then as soon as you begin daily tasks, contract right back into that anxious, controlling,
managing ego. I'll share one of my most humbling experiences. And this is, I did my first
long retreat. My son was young and my ex-husband was taken care of my son. And when I, at the
end of the retreat, I was feeling just, you know, in love with the world, the whole world
in my heart, very spacious and open and just kind. So I got home and it probably. And it
probably was within about five minutes that I blew up at my ex-husband. He hadn't mailed a bill
that I'd asked him to mail. Now, I'll say right here that aggression, you know, losing it,
shouting, that's a form of control. It's the clenched fish. So it really brings up this question.
You know, if we get so compartmentalized and it doesn't, that, that awareness doesn't bleed into daily life,
what wakes us up to a larger reality in a more full and stable way?
And the answer, I think many of you might have a good sense of, which is Dukha.
It's really the pain that wakes us up, the pain of our anger or our fear or shame or our hurt,
that it invites us to deepen attention.
it wakes up awareness.
And awareness is our superpower.
The ego doesn't let go.
It's awareness that undoes the clutch, relaxes the resistance.
I think of it sometimes the image I have is the ego as kind of this ice cube,
and it's clenching and preserving and protecting its separate ice cubey form.
And awareness is the light of the light of the light of the light.
the sun and it dissolves the clinging. It relaxes and dissolves the ice, which is really just
another form of water back into the flow. And in my case, on that time after blowing up at my ex-husband,
my ice-cubness lasted through the day. In other words, the continued squeezing occurred as I
ran all my self-righteous, indignant thoughts and blaming things.
thoughts and so on, he should be different. Should is always a controlling ego word. It's a
clench fist. Finally, later in the day, I started feeling these deep waves of disappointment and
sorrow that I was so stuck. And just that pain of separation. You know, he was my ex-husband,
but he, we were very fortunate. He's remained a dear friend. So it was painful.
So, enter Dukha.
You know, the suffering actually started waking me up and it made it possible to bring awareness
to the angry thoughts and feelings.
So I wasn't inside them, believing them.
The awareness allowed me to inhabit a larger space of presence.
And then it allowed me to, the awareness could then tend to the underlying fears, a sense of
powerlessness, and as awareness deepened it, filled with tenderness. There was this letting go
and inhabiting a larger space beyond the ice-cuby controlling ego. And that is the process.
That awareness dissolves the clinging. It allows the letting go into a larger space,
a relinquishing of a smaller identity, you know, the angry cell, into more openness.
There's another metaphor. I hope mixing metaphors doesn't create a problem, but I like the
image of a caterpillar and a cocoon and how natural it is to be in the caterpillar phase and
be living in what we'll call the egoic identity where we're reacting and protecting and protecting,
and doing those things, and it's developmentally natural to evolve to a larger wholeness,
to the butterfly that has the freedom of a much larger space.
So, Duka is the pressure of the cocoon saying, it's time.
You need to inhabit a larger being.
It's time to let go.
There's more to experience.
And that, of course, requires awareness, you know, letting go of clinging to, it's not so easy
because it's familiar, a cocoon is familiar and safe, and the cocoon is our habitual thinking,
and the cocoon is our judgment.
It's painful.
And Dukha is saying, it's time to open into the mystery.
I'm spending time on this, on Duka, on suffering, anger, fear,
because it's not bad.
It's not a mistake.
Let Duka be our signal, our calling to let go.
To let go of the obsessive thinking and the limiting beliefs and the resistance to the feelings,
the armoring in the heart.
Let go.
Let go into a bigger reality.
Okay, friends.
So for the remainder of this, we're going to talk about how meditation
can help us undo the clench, the fearful ego, and open more into a larger beingness.
And today, as I mentioned, we're doing this in several parts, the key focus will be letting go
of our obsessive thinking, our fixation on thoughts. And this is a critical primary domain.
and the reason is
thinking is our major strategy of control
and we spend huge amounts of time
in our mental control tower
you know worrying planning rehearsing preparing
navigating to protect and further the egoic self
you know how when we're in traffic
everyone else is the traffic
you know it's like we're living
inside a home video, incessant inner dialogue. And of course, the main protagonist is Mois.
It might be extended to Mois and Mois's close kin, but it's Mois. My concerns. You know,
what is happening to me? That's the main theme. What we're worried about? How others are
treating me, what needs to get done. This is the movie we're in and we're holding on to it.
there is clinging to this movie.
You know, there's one of my favorite little comic strip cartoons is this man in a bar and he's
talking to the bartender and he just says, I know I'm nothing, but I'm all I can think about.
And it's so understandable.
You know, we're addicted and we're hooked on thinking and we believe our thoughts.
I mean, consider today for a moment.
Just let yourself kind of review the day for a moment and just notice how much were you
inside that movie.
Lost in thoughts, all centering around, organized it around, swirling around self.
You've probably noticed that our inner dialogue is not only incessant and self-focused.
Our thoughts are incredibly repetitive.
I mean, I read somewhere that we have 60,000 thoughts a day and 98% of them we had yesterday.
You know, in another cartoon, you see a man on the highway, and he's about to enter a desert.
And the sign says, you and your own tedious thoughts, next 500 miles.
side. So, the key challenge with this ongoing movie is that because evolution has rigged us
to control by being vigilant about potential threats, you know, because we have that negativity bias,
most of our thoughts are worry thoughts, judgment. You know, our thoughts perpetuated an
atmosphere of tension and fear, the clutched fist. You know, evolution also rigged us to meet our needs
and we get habituated to thoughts about what's missing, what more we want and need. So that's
craving and fantasy. And that's also the tension of a clutch fist. So the Buddha taught that
whatever a person frequently thinks and reflects on, that will become the inclination
of their mind. So just to consider that, you know, what kind of thoughts do you frequently think?
That becomes the inclination of the mind. Neuroscience says it in a similar way that neurons
that fire together, wire together, you can sense it, are thinking servitual. And of course,
it perpetuates sticky emotional states. I think often,
of neuroscientist Jill Boltey-Teller who says that it takes 1.5 minutes for an emotion
to move through without the fuel of thoughts. But if we're thinking, those incessant thoughts
will lock it in so it can become a mood. It's like the story of a little boy who says
to his mother, Mommy, pretend you're surrounded by 10 hungry tigers. What would you do?
She says, I don't know.
And he said, stop pretending.
So we live in this mental atmosphere.
And, you know, just like the ego, our thoughts are a good servant.
They're not a good master.
You know, a good servant, they're essential to human survival, to flourishing.
You know, the capacity to think enables us to communicate and treat,
disease and design buildings, write poetry.
Wise contemplation is part of the spiritual path that turns us towards love,
towards the mystery, towards reality.
So this isn't saying thoughts are bad, it's when they're the master.
They don't guide us well.
Our mental maps of the world are often misleading.
Our memories faulty.
You know, again, that negative,
bias. We live with painfully limiting beliefs about ourselves. Our thoughts seem to fixate on
faults, our own others. And then, of course, we project, we misinterpret.
Story from many years ago about a couple that decides to go to Florida to thaw out during a very
icy winter up north. They're going to stay at the same hotel that they spent their honeymoon
at 20 years earlier, but they have these really hectic lives, and so they have to fly different
days. So the husband leaves on Thursday, and the wife follows him down the, she's going to follow
him down the day after. He checks into the hotel and there's a computer, so he decides to send
an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without
realizing his error, he sends it off. And meanwhile, somewhere in Houston,
A widow has just returned home from her husband's funeral.
He was a minister and he was called home to glory following a heart attack.
So the widow decides to check her email and she expects messages from relatives and friends.
She reads the first email, screams, and faints.
The widow's son rushes into the room, finds his mother on the floor and sees the computer
scream which reads, this is what she got, to my loving wife.
Subject, I've arrived. I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you're
allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and been checked in. I see that everything
has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey
is as uneventful as mine was. Sure is hot down here. I love that story. This is many years ago where you have to
a computer in your room, not an iPhone. So, okay, so here we are using our mental control
towers to protect and further ourselves. But when we believe our thoughts, when they're
master, we're living in a virtual reality that is shaping directly our life experience.
The movie of the mind is keeping us in prison. We're kept in the sense of a fearful,
usually deficient egoic self by our thoughts. A young man I was with on, he was at a retreat
I was teaching, we were talking about this and how his mind was a tyrant and kept giving
him messages of what was wrong with him and he was believing them. And he told me he
reminded himself of this tiger in the DC Zoo. Her name was Mohini. She's
spent many years at the Washington, D.C. National Zoo. And for most of the time, she was housed in this
lion's cage, this 12 by 12 cage with iron bars and a cement floor. So Mojini would spend her days
restlessly pacing back and forth in these cramped quarters. So eventually, the biologists and the
staff worked together to create this natural habitat for her that covered several acres.
had hills and trees and a pond, variety of vegetation. So they were really excited to release her
into her new expansive environment. But it was too late because the tiger immediately sought refuge
in a corner of the compound. And she lived for the remainder of her life in that corner,
she'd be pacing back and forth an area of 12 by 12 feet that became worn.
bear of grass. You know, it's like the caterpillar that stays in its cocoon, you know,
arrested development. When thoughts are the master, when we don't know how to wake up out of
thoughts, they control our world. And we're living in a limited world. I think of one of the
shaman who wrote, we maintain our world with our inner dialogue. A person of knowledge is aware
that the world will change completely as soon as they stop talking to themselves.
As many are aware, learning to let go of thoughts is a key part of most meditation training.
And it's a lifelong process.
Again, it's better understood as realizing that we're lost in thought.
Because in that realizing, awareness actually melts the ice cube, allows us to inhabit a larger space.
So this is the gift of mindfulness, training to recognize thinking, training to open into something
larger.
Because in the moment we're mindful of the thought.
We're no longer living inside it.
It's not the master.
We have opened to a larger field.
I often think of being in an airplane and how when you fly through a cloud for some period
of time, it can seem like the clouds the whole world. And then when you fly out of it, there's a
larger space. The cloud could be still there, but you're aware there's a larger reality.
That's the gift of being mindful of thoughts, of being able to let go of being exclusively
identified with and lost inside a thought. There are major breakthroughs when people start
meditating and training and letting go of thoughts. I mean, the basic realization is I don't have to
believe my thoughts. That is powerful. I am not my thoughts. They're not the master anymore.
We're not being, our life isn't being clutched, squeezed. This is a reading from Ajan Sumato.
He's an American Buddhist monk living in Great Britain.
He says, the practice of letting go is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking.
You simplify your practice just down to two words, letting go.
Rather than try to develop this practice and then develop that and achieve this and go into that
and understand and read the sutas and study the abidama and learn Pali and Sanskrit and then Madramakaya and Prajna Parameh.
get ordinations in Hinayana, Mahayana, Vadriana, write books and become a world-renowned authority
on Buddhism instead of becoming the world's expert on Buddhism and being invited to great
international Buddhist conferences. Just let go, let go, let go. I did nothing but this for two years.
Every time I tried to understand or figure out things, I'd say let go, let go.
until the desire would fade out. So I'm making it very simple for you to save you from getting caught
in incredible amounts of suffering. There's nothing more sorrowful than having to attend international
Buddhist conferences. Every time you become mindful of thought, letting go into a larger field,
perhaps the breath, the senses. It's practicing dying to the limited egoic self. You're undoing
the clench, letting go of control. Okay, again, let's pause. Let's pause. Close the eyes or lower the
gaze. Feeling the breath, let go of what is past. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now.
don't try to figure anything out, don't try to make anything happen, relax right now, and rest.
With even a little bit of letting go, perhaps you can sense what's this self here like, what's the sense of my own being?
And notice it's not so solid. There's more space. There's more of the myth.
mastery shining through. If your eyes are closed again, opening them, which you'd like,
you don't have to. So I want to name it takes practice. It is a life practice. Letting go of
thoughts is such deep conditioning. And for most, the training involves letting go of thoughts
and an opening to arrive in the senses. It might be the breath, body, sound. I'm so aware,
and this is for new but also experience meditators. It can be discouraging. There can be a lot of self-judgment.
I mean, I know so many people have said, well, I just have a really busy mind. I'm probably not cut out for this.
I'm not doing it right. And I just want to say it's not personal and most of us have busy minds.
Thoughts are the primary way we control life. You know, our mind secretes thoughts like our body secretes enzymes.
We have a default network in our brain, which means that when we're not engaged in a goal-oriented task,
the mind is designed to move back and forth between the past and the future,
and it's trying to reestablish a sense of self, of orientation, of being able to manage things.
I've shared that I walk in the woods by the river almost daily.
And usually my intention is presence to be awake, to sound, sensations communing with life.
And it's so clear, especially when I'm stressed, the compulsion to think.
You know, it's not productive.
It's more kind of this protective thing.
that gives the illusion of being in control, you know, that if I'm alert and vigilant and
preparing for what might go wrong, then I'm safer. It just happens. And the point is not to stop
thoughts. We're not trying to get rid of them. That's more ego-controlled. It's simply to become
aware. To inhabit a space that's larger than thought that can relate to the thought with some
curiosity and kindness. And then we get lost again. And then we go, oh, okay, thinking, thinking.
And in that noticing, there's more awareness. There's some space around the thought. We're
inhabiting a larger space. Now, I want to name that waking up from thoughts becomes more
challenging if they're charged thoughts, you know, really strong fears or shame or craving.
And awareness then needs to fully connect with the emotions underneath them.
If we don't, they'll just keep circling back into more thinking.
So we have to learn this is going to be the next letting go we'll explore in the next talk,
really how to let go of our resistance to feeling feelings.
So we can move from the sticky charged thoughts into the feelings that we've been avoiding.
But the basic waking up from thoughts is getting more and more the knack of just seeing,
oh, thinking and kind of opening up some, waking up to that ceaseless inner dialogue of commentary
and worry and planning, it opens the door.
It begins this liberating process of letting go into freedom.
We manage life with our thoughts.
thoughts cover over the mystery.
So as we begin to see, oh, thinking, thinking, we begin to sense the space between the thoughts.
There's a bit more space. We sense the space around the thoughts.
It can get to be, and I love this image, that we're in a house with no roof when it starts getting quiet.
We're in a house with no roof.
You can sense almost that the mind is merging with the sky,
and we're not living inside the clouds.
We're inhabiting the space of the sky.
House with no roof.
I often, in addition to that, sense being headless,
and if that sounds strange to you,
I invite you when you're meditating to imagine it.
in some way that above the shoulders there's space.
There's no formed head because we're so identified with the head that when you imagine being headless,
it dissolves that identification. We expand.
This is the poet Rumi. Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought.
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?
move outside the tangle of fear thinking.
Live in silence.
Flow down and down in always widening rings of being.
So friends, we're going to close by practicing a little with thoughts.
And I really invite you as you move through the week to let your intention be
just to notice more when thinking is happening and to explore what it's like to notice and open,
to listen, to feel, to open to a larger space of being.
So for these moments, and this will be short, just a taste, as we've been doing, let this be a pause,
your eyes closed or the gaze lowered, and again to feel the breath,
as a way of connecting right here and now.
Perhaps a long deep in-breath and a long, slow-out breath.
A nice full deep in-breath.
And feeling the out-breath as a letting go.
Letting go, letting go.
Breathing in.
Slow out-breath, letting go.
Relaxing outward.
releasing. Then as the breath resumes in its natural rhythm, just sends a scanning through the body,
noticing whatever might want to let go in this moment, perhaps tension in the shoulders,
softening, dissolving, softening the hands, letting the chest be open, and the belly soft,
down through the whole body, and perhaps opening the attention to also sense sound.
So you're listening to and feeling the whole moment right here in your senses,
senses awake. Let this be home base. The only assignment here is when thoughts arise
to simply become aware of them. Let the awareness loosen the grip so that you can again
listen and feel open to more of a spacious sense of being, noticing what's happening inside
you.
And if there's a subtle thought or more of an overt thought, just to be aware of it, gently
opening, again, listening to sound, feeling sensations, noticing the difference.
noticing the difference between a thought, virtual reality, and the realness, the vividness,
the immediacy of presence.
Sense if you can notice the space between thoughts, the space around thoughts, imagining
that house without a roof, that your mind is free to merge with the sky,
the space of wakefulness, interior wakefulness, wakefulness around you, continuous space,
build with the light of awareness. Let go of what is past. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is
happening now. Don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to make anything happen. Relax right now.
and rest. Well, thank you, my friends, for your presence, for your attention, for your care about
waking up. So this week, we explored the letting go, the opening beyond thoughts, and we will
continue as we move forward the other dimensions of letting go, deepening that taste of homecoming.
Blessings and love to each.
