Tara Brach - Letting go of Controlling: The Path of Freedom, Part 1
Episode Date: February 5, 2026While it's natural to try to control our life experience, our chronic controlling cuts us off from presence and obscures the loving awareness that is our essence. This series of talks explores how ...we can let go in four key domains of controlling: clinging to thoughts, resisting feelings, holding tight to beliefs and armoring our heart. We look at how egoic controlling manifests individually and as a society; the process of awakening from exclusive identification with a separate ego/self; what it means to die into a larger reality and the similarities of psychedelics and meditation in the process of letting go. The gift of releasing the grip of controlling is true freedom; inhabiting the intrinsic beauty of our beings, and having our lives be an expression of creativity, wisdom and love. Our introduction music is from "Opening" by Adrienne Torf, © 2025 ABT Music
Transcript
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Welcome, friends, to the Tara Brock podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Each week, I share
teachings and guided meditations to help us awaken our hearts and bring healing to our world.
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Namaste.
Welcome.
Thank you for being here, friends.
I want to start with a favorite story
from Tom Wolfe's book called The Right Stuff.
And it starts out going in the 1950s
a few elite U.S. Air Force pilots were assigned to a life or death mission to fly higher
than ever before. And beyond the Earth's denser atmosphere, they discovered that the familiar
laws of aerodynamics no longer applied. So a plane could suddenly tumble end over end. It was like
a cereal bowl on a wax form like a counter. The first pilots responded instinctively and
they were frantically working the controls trying to stay with it.
the aircraft, but the more they intervened, the more violent the tumbling became. And you could hear
these panic calls to ground control. What do I do next? And they were followed by fatal crashes.
This pattern continued until Chuck Yeager stumbled upon the only solution. When his plane began
tumbling, he was slammed unconscious. And helpless, the aircraft plunged for miles until it re-entered
denser atmosphere where normal aerodynamics returned.
And Yeager regained consciousness and then he could steady the plane and land safely.
So the lesson was stark and counterintuitive.
The only way to survive was to do nothing,
to take your hands off the controls.
As Wolf writes, it was the only choice you had.
So in spiritual life, we continuously encounter parts
of ourselves trying to survive by managing.
And in the domains that most deeply impact us,
and here I'm speaking of aging, sickness, dying, love, intimacy, serving, creativity,
presence, controlling doesn't work.
Our flourishing, our freedom comes from letting be, from letting go of the controls.
I sometimes think of it as decommissioning the inner controller.
So this is the theme of the next two weeks, and it's one of the most popular from the archives.
It's this radical practice of letting go of controlling, of opening to our fullness of being.
So may it serve well.
I'd like to begin with a classic story where a novice wants to enter a monastery, is talking to the abbot and saying,
well, how long will it take me to be enlightened?
And the Abbott's response is 10 years.
And then the novice says, well, what if I try extra hard?
The response is 20 years.
Hey, wait a minute.
You first said 10.
For you, 30.
And you know, we get it.
That ego striving is not going to work.
You know, that trying to get somewhere is not that liberates.
I think of willfulness and striving and controlling as kind of a clenched fist that we're actively squeezing.
And it cuts off life so that the understanding is we can only experience real ease, aliveness, freedom by relaxing open, by letting go of the clench.
and the Buddha taught something really radical, which is that freedom, love, peace, happiness
is always and already here in the moments of non-clinning, of non-resisting.
In other words, in moments of presence, when we're not trying to control life, when we're not
trying to make it different.
So, of course, there's a reason that we don't have that many moments of peace and freedom,
and that is it's not easy to let go of controlling.
It's not easy to open to life just as it is,
because we have this deep conditioning to think that something's missing,
that something's wrong,
and then to clench, you know, to in some way tighten in our body,
to have our mind clench into, you know, small-minded thoughts, to clench into judgments
into beliefs. I'd like to share a story about Lester Levinson, who was the founder of the Sedona
method. Some of you may have heard of it. It's a psychological, spiritual healing process.
So Lester, when he was in his 40s, he got really sick. He had heart.
heart failure, he had colon cancer. At one point his doctor just sent him home basically
to die. So, you know, he was facing this death sentence and he began to reflect deeply. And
he had studied all the world philosophies. You know, he was very educated and learned. And
he looked at everything he had learned and said, well, where has this brought me? What is it given
to me. And he dropped his ideas about life. And he very directly inquired, he really is acquiring right
to his colon in a sense, what is your belief? And he realized the belief was actually a demand
that the world be different, that he was always living with this belief, this demand that the world
be different. And then he asked himself, well, do I really need this?
He was becoming aware, do I really need this?
And he realized he didn't.
And then in the time that followed, he let go.
He dropped that demand and he healed.
He sensed that beingness that's beyond the separate self,
the separate self that demands life be different.
So his pathway was a letting go and unclenching the fist.
that was holding the belief.
This is going to be the theme of our reflection,
this letting go that frees our heart
that reveals the fullness, the truth of who we are.
And we'll do it in several parts.
We'll be centering on four key domains of letting go,
letting go of our clinging to thoughts,
letting go of our resistance to feelings, sensations,
unhooking beliefs, and letting go of the armoring around the heart.
So we start in with definition.
Letting go, it's misunderstood.
Sometimes we think of letting go as another activity we're doing, and it's not that.
It's not some willful, egoic act.
Letting go actually is an undoing of the clenching.
It's an undoing of the ways we're holding on.
And that happens naturally as we bring awareness to experience.
To get a taste, and we'll be doing this a few times, I'd like to keep touching right back
into direct experience in this talk.
So, let's pause.
If you can close your eyes or lower your gaze, and just begin to notice what's going
on inside and take a few full breaths. Gather yourself. Bring yourself here. From the Tibetan
teachings, let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening
now. Don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to make anything happen. Relax right now and rest.
Even a taste of letting go is a taste of freedom.
And there's a good reason we hold on so tightly.
So if your eyes are closed, feel free to open them.
So here's the thing. To survive, we need to control some.
We need to do what we can to avoid danger.
We need to pursue shelters, mates for many.
In other words, we need to...
to be motivated to do whatever helps us and our kin thrive. So it's part of our evolutionary
design and our unfolding to develop an ego that tries to control life. That is part of the deal,
that we are rigged to try to control ourselves and others and the world. It's part of trying to
promote survival. So our mechanisms, we grasp, we hold on, we resist, we push away, we have
that clenched fist. And if we begin to explore that, and it's really interesting to investigate,
we'll find that our deepest, most familiar sense of self is that felt sense of the me that's
trying to control life to get what we want. We're trying to control life and get more food or
promotion or approval. That's a very familiar sense of self. Or we feel that sense of that self
that's trying to avoid what we fear, trying to avoid getting sick or falling short in some way,
or avoid another's judgment, or avoid uncertainty. That's a very familiar question.
core sense of self, this controlling self. In a similar way, if we investigate during the day,
as we're moving through the day, we'll find that most moments, there's some background sense
that something's missing or something's wrong, that we need to control, that we need to do something,
that we need to do something to avoid what's right around the corner that could really cause trouble.
We need to in some way make life more safe or more comfortable or more pleasant or more complete.
Take any conversation you had today, yesterday, and just remind yourself of it.
It's more than likely that the ego itself was controlling.
trying to in some way create a certain impression in the other person's mind, trying to be liked,
trying to be respected, trying to be understood, trying to have the other person do something
a certain way, trying to protect yourself from judgment. On some level, rather than a spontaneous
free sharing based in presence, there's that bit of that clenched.
fist, we can see it. And if we investigate and look at the controlling moment to moment, we can see in
the most subtle ways the way we want this moment to be different, that we're trying to change this
moment. By moving away from it with our thoughts, by physically moving, by avoiding in some way
the unpleasantness, seeking more comfort, we want the next moment to contain what this moment
does not. So we control. Now here's the challenge with controlling. While there are domains in
daily life where we often can and may need to control, it's part of survival. You know, controlling
perhaps in a day-to-day way when we get up or making sure our children or pets or fed that we're
fed, you know, what task we're going to prioritize, taking our supplements, paying our bills,
who we're going to text, who we're going to email, this whole realm, you know, stopping at a red
light. There's a certain domain we can control, but the most important dimensions of life are
beyond our control. And you know what I'm speaking of, you know, aging, sickness, the economy,
you know, world events, how others behave. Life is essentially unpredictable. It's uncertain.
You know, I think about this Sylvia cartoon. Some of you may have seen these. She's in the role of
a psychic. And the woman that's talking to her says, you know, my husband, he won't talk about his feelings.
And she's upset about that. And Sylvia said, well, all right, we'll see what we can do.
So she looks in her crystal ball, and then she says, you know, in February, 2024, men will start talking about their feelings.
In moments, women across the country will be sorry.
So we try to control what is beyond us.
And ultimately, and here's the root of it, this self does not want to die.
and most controlling is rooted in our efforts to manage our fear of death, of great loss and death.
So here we are, we're in this impermanent life, it has inevitable pain and loss, and if we're chronically
trying to control, if we're always wanting life different, trying to secure ourselves against loss,
we become a bundle of tense muscles protecting our existence.
No, we're not living fully.
One of the most basic truths found in Buddhism and other spiritual traditions
is that our ongoing compulsion to control or to grasp and resist what's happening,
it's what gives rise to suffering.
And in Buddhism, the word is Dukha, which is really a much better word than suffering in a way
because it can range from, unless you're familiar with, that kind of subtle background sense
of uneasiness off balance, not fully here, to real anguish.
And Duka arises because basically we're at odds with reality.
We're in some way trying to control, fight, resistance.
how it is. Like Lester, we're wanting life different. So here's the thing. Our ego, our controlling
ego is a good servant. You know, we need to navigate as wisely as we can, but not a good master.
Chronic controlling, you know, always wanting something, fearing something. It makes our life small.
And this is an abstract. I mean, you might reflect
for a moment. Again, just review maybe the past day or so and remind yourself of a time
when you were caught in some sort of an anxious doing kind of mode. Just take a moment, just
time of stress in the last few days and just try to sense in what's it like when you're
anxiously managing life when there's that tightness? Can you also feel present? Do you have
access to a wise perspective? Do you feel at home in yourself? Do you feel connected to others?
Creative? It's not that hard to see. I can do it myself so easily that the clenching is there,
that there's thoughts kind of circling in a repetitive, small-minded way, the body is tight,
It's not a sense of inhabiting and fueling the aliveness of the body.
There's just a tightness.
Hearts not open.
Disconnected from others.
This is the clenched fist, the controlling ego.
And when we're in control mode, we're not able to inhabit a larger truth.
You know, John O'Donohue said it so beautifully.
He said, we're so busy managing our life that we're not able to inhabit a larger truth.
that we forget this great mystery we're involved in. We forget. We forget the larger beingness
that really expresses who we are. Okay, so this core identity we have as a ego self with the habit
of control, it's part of the evolutionary story. It's all of us, humans from the get-go. But as a
not the end of the story. We also have this capacity to wake up, to let go into something
larger, to experience who we are beyond that separateness. And if you're listening, you've
touched this. You know intuitively that your essence is deeper and vaster than ego than
and the thoughts and the behaviors and the personality.
There's a deeper mystery.
And you might taste this when you're experiencing the arising of love or compassion, when you're
feeling real energetic aliveness, connectedness, stillness.
That sense of something more can occur in nature, when you're with loved ones.
maybe births, deaths, meditations,
in moments where there's presence and no controlling.
Let's pause again, my friends.
Let's just pause.
Take a few full breaths.
Maybe close your eyes or lower your gaze.
Let go of what is past.
Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now.
Don't try to figure anything out.
Don't try to make anything happen. Relax right now and rest. Perhaps as you do so you can
sense a little bit of a wider space of awareness, mystery, something more, and you've
touched it. We've all had moments of relaxing the fist, not controlling, but we tend not to
pause and savor and appreciate them. And you've probably also noticed that the experiences that we have
of enlarged beingness, where we feel we're touching something more, a deeper truth, they quickly
get compartmentalized. In other words, you might have a really good morning meditation and feel really
open and peaceful. And then as soon as you begin daily tasks,
contract right back into that anxious, controlling, managing ego.
I'll share one of my most humbling experiences.
And this is, I did my first long retreat.
My son was young and my ex-husband was taking care of my son.
And when I, at the end of the retreat, I was feeling just, you know,
in love with the world, the whole world in my heart, very spacious and open and just kind.
So I got home, and it probably was within about five minutes that I blew up at my ex-husband.
He hadn't mailed a bill that I'd asked him to mail.
Now, I'll say right here that aggression, you know, losing it, shouting, that's a form of control.
It's the clenched fish.
So it really brings up this question.
You know, if we get so compartmentalized and it doesn't, that awareness doesn't,
bleed into daily life, what wakes us up to a large reality in a more full and stable way?
And the answer, I think many of you might have a good sense of, which is Dukha.
It's really the pain that wakes us up, the pain of our anger or our fear or our shame or our hurt,
that it invites us to deepen attention. It wakes up awareness. And awareness is our superpower.
The ego doesn't let go. It's awareness that undoes the clutch, relaxes the resistance.
I think of it sometimes the image I have is the ego as kind of this ice cube and it's clenching
and preserving and protecting its separate ice cube before.
and awareness is the light of the sun and it dissolves the clinging.
It relaxes and dissolves the ice, which is really just another form of water back into the flow.
And in my case, on that time after blowing up at my ex-husband, my ice-cubness lasted through the day.
In other words, the continued squeezing occurred as I ran all my self-righteous
indignant thoughts and blaming thoughts and so on, he should be different. Should is always
a controlling ego word. It's a clench fist. Finally, later in the day, I started feeling these
deep waves of disappointment and sorrow that I was so stuck and just that pain of separation.
You know, he was my ex-husband, but we were very fortunate.
He's remained a dear friend, so it was painful.
So enter Dukha.
You know, the suffering actually started waking me up, and it made it possible to bring awareness
to the angry thoughts and feelings.
So I wasn't inside them, believing them.
The awareness allowed me to inhabit a larger space of presence.
and then it allowed me to, the awareness could then tend to the underlying fears, a sense of
powerlessness, and as awareness deepened it, filled with tenderness. There was this letting go
and inhabiting a larger space beyond the ice-cuby controlling ego. And that is the process
that awareness dissolves the clinging. It allows the letting go into a larger space, a relinquishing of a
smaller identity, you know, the angry cell, into more openness. There's another metaphor. I hope
mixing metaphors doesn't create a problem, but I like the image of a caterpillar in a cocoon
and how natural it is to be in the caterpillar phase and be living in the, what we'll call
the egoic identity where we're reacting and protecting and doing those things. And it's
developmentally natural to evolve to a larger wholeness, to the butterfly that has the freedom
of a much larger space. So, Duka is the pressure of the cucreus.
saying, it's time. You need to inhabit a larger being. It's time to let go. There's more
to experience. And that, of course, requires awareness. You know, letting go of clinging to,
it's not so easy because it's familiar. Cacoon is familiar and safe and the cocoon is our
habitual thinking and the cocoon is our judgment. It's painful.
And Duka is saying, it's time to open into the mystery.
I'm spending time on this, on Duka, on suffering, anger, fear,
because it's not bad.
It's not a mistake.
Let Duka be our signal, our calling to let go.
To let go of the obsessive thinking and the limiting beliefs
and the resistance to the feelings,
the armoring in the heart, let go, let go into a bigger reality.
Okay, friends, so for the remainder of this,
we're going to talk about how meditation can help us undo the clench,
the fearful ego, and open more into a larger beingness.
And today, as I mentioned, we're doing this in several parts,
the key focus will be letting go of our obsessive thinking,
our fixation on thoughts.
And this is a critical primary domain.
And the reason is
thinking is our major strategy of control.
And we spend huge amounts of time in our mental control tower,
you know, worrying, planning, rehearsing, preparing,
navigating to protect and further the egoic self.
You know how when we're in,
in traffic, everyone else is the traffic. You know, it's like we're living inside a home video,
incessant inner dialogue. And of course, the main protagonist is Mois. It might be extended to
Mois and Mois's close kin, but it's Mois. My concerns. You know, what is happening to me?
That's the main theme. What we're worried about? How others are treating me.
what needs to get done.
This is the movie we're in, and we're holding on to it.
There is clinging to this movie.
One of my favorite little comic strip cartoons is this man in a bar, and he's talking to
the bartender, and he just says, I know I'm nothing, but I'm all I can think about.
And it's so understandable.
You know, we're addicted, and we're hooked on thinking, and we believe.
leave our thoughts. I mean, consider today for a moment. Just let yourself kind of review the
day for a moment and just notice how much were you inside that movie? Lost in thoughts, all centering
around, organized it around, swirling around self. You've probably noticed that our inner dialogue
is not only incessant and self-focused.
Our thoughts are incredibly repetitive.
I mean, I read somewhere that we have 60,000 thoughts a day
and 98% of them we had yesterday.
Another cartoon, you see a man on the highway
and he's about to enter a desert.
And the sign says,
you and your own tedious thoughts, next 500 miles.
The key challenge with this ongoing movie is that because evolution has rigged us to control
by being vigilant about potential threats, because we have that negativity bias, most of our
thoughts are worry thoughts, judgment.
Our thoughts perpetuated an atmosphere of tension and fear, the clutched fist.
You know, evolution also rigged us to meet our needs and we get habituated to thoughts about what's missing,
what more we want and need.
So that's craving and fantasy.
And that's also the tension of a clutch fist.
So the Buddha taught that whatever a person frequently thinks and reflects on, that will become the inclination of their mind.
So just to consider that, you know, what kind of thoughts do you frequently think?
That becomes the inclination of the mind. Neuroscience says it in a similar way that neurons
that fire together, wire together, you can sense it, are thinking is habitual. And of course,
it perpetuates sticky emotional states. I think often of
neuroscientist Jill Boltey-Teller who says that it takes 1.5 minutes for an emotion to move through
without the fuel of thoughts. But if we're thinking, those incessant thoughts will lock it in
so it can become a mood. It's like the story of a little boy who says to his mother,
Mommy, pretend you're surrounded by 10 hungry tigers. What would you do? She says, I don't
know. And he said, stop pretending. So we live in this mental atmosphere. And, you know, just like the
ego, our thoughts are a good servant. They're not a good master. You know, a good servant,
they're essential to human survival, to flourishing. You know, the capacity to think enables
us to communicate and treat disease and design buildings, write poetry. Wise contemplation is part of
the spiritual path that turns us towards love, towards the mystery, towards reality. So this isn't
saying thoughts are bad. It's when they're the master. They don't guide us well. You know,
our mental maps of the world are often misleading. Our memories faulty.
You know, again, that negativity bias, we live with painfully limiting beliefs about ourselves.
You know, our thoughts seem to fixate on faults, our own others.
And then, of course, we project, we misinterpret.
Story from many years ago about a couple that decides to go to Florida to thaw out
during a very icy winter up north. They're going to stay at the same hotel that they're
They spent their honeymoon at 20 years earlier, but they have these really hectic lives,
and so they have to fly different days.
So the husband leaves on Thursday, and the wife follows him down.
She's going to follow him down the day after.
He checks into the hotel and there's a computer, so he decides to send an email to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address,
and without realizing his error, he sends it off.
And meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow has just returned home from her husband's funeral.
He was a minister and he was called home to glory following a heart attack.
So the widow decides to check her email and she expects messages from relatives and friends.
She reads the first email, screams and faints.
The widow's son rushes into the room, finds his mother on the floor and sees the computer scream which reads,
This is what she got.
To my loving wife, subject, I've arrived.
I know you're surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you're allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
Sure is hot down here.
I love that story.
There's many years ago where you have to have a computer in your room, not an iPhone.
So, okay, so here we are using our mental control towers to protect and further ourselves.
But when we believe our thoughts, when they're master, we're living in a virtual reality
that is shaping directly our life experience.
The movie of the mind is keeping us in prison.
were kept in the sense of a fearful, usually deficient, egoic self by our thoughts.
A young man I was with on, he was at a retreat I was teaching, we were talking about this
and how his mind was a tyrant and kept giving him messages of what was wrong with him.
And he was believing them.
And he told me he reminded himself of this,
tiger in the D.C. zoo, her name was Mojini. She spent many years at the Washington, D.C. National Zoo.
And for most of the time, she was housed in this lion's cage, this 12 by 12 cage with iron bars
and a cement floor. So Mojini would spend her days restlessly pacing back and forth in these
cramped quarters. So eventually, the biologists and the staff worked together to create this
natural habitat for her that covered several acres. It had hills and trees and a pond,
variety of vegetation. So they were really excited to release her into her new expansive environment.
But it was too late because the tiger immediately sought refuge in a corner of the compound.
And she lived for the remainder of her life in that corner, she'd be pacing back and forth and
area of 12 by 12 feet that became worn bear of grass. You know, it's like the caterpillar that stays in
its cocoon, you know, a rested development. When thoughts are the master, when we don't know how to
wake up out of thoughts, they control our world. And we're living in a limited world. I think of one of the
shaman who wrote, we maintain our world with our inner dialogue. A person of the person of
knowledge is aware that the world will change completely as soon as they stop talking to themselves.
As many are aware, learning to let go of thoughts is a key part of most meditation training.
And it's a lifelong process. Again, it's better understood as realizing that we're lost in thought.
because in that realizing, awareness actually melts the ice cube, allows us to inhabit a larger space.
So this is the gift of mindfulness.
Training to recognize thinking.
Training to open into something larger.
Because in the moment we're mindful of the thought.
We're no longer living inside it.
It's not the master.
We have opened to a larger field.
I often think of being in an airplane and how when you fly through a cloud for some period of time,
it can seem like the clouds the whole world.
And then when you fly out of it, there's a larger space.
The cloud could be still there, but you're aware there's a larger reality.
That's the gift of being mindful of thoughts, of being able to let go of being exclusively identified with,
lost inside a thought. There are major breakthroughs when people start meditating and training
and letting go of thoughts. I mean, the basic realization is I don't have to believe my thoughts.
That is powerful. I am not my thoughts. They're not the master anymore. We're not being,
our life isn't being clutched, squeezed.
This is a reading from Ajan Sumato.
He's an American Buddhist monk living in Great Britain.
He says, the practice of letting go is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking.
You simplify your practice just down to two words, letting go.
Rather than try to develop this practice and then develop that and achieve this and go into that
and understand and read the sutas and study the Abidama and learn Pali and Sanskrit and then
Madramakaya and Prajana Paramita, get ordinations in Hinayana, Mahayana, Vadriana, write books and become
a world-renowned authority on Buddhism instead of becoming the world's expert on Buddhism and
being invited to great international Buddhist conferences,
Just let go, let go, let go.
I did nothing but this for two years.
Every time I tried to understand or figure out things, I'd say let go, let go until the desire
would fade out.
So I'm making it very simple for you to save you from getting caught in incredible amounts
of suffering.
There's nothing more sorrowful than having to attend international Buddhist conferences.
Every time you become mindful of thought, letting go into a larger field, perhaps the breath,
the senses, it's practicing dying to the limited egoic self.
You're undoing the clench, letting go of control.
Okay, again, let's pause.
Let's pause, close the eyes or lower the gaze, feeling the breath, let's go.
let go of what is past, let go of what may come, let go of what is happening now.
Don't try to figure anything out.
Don't try to make anything happen.
Relax right now and rest.
With even a little bit of letting go, perhaps you can sense what's this self here like?
What's the sense of my own being?
And notice it's not so solid.
There's more space.
There's more of the mystery shining through.
If your eyes are closed again, opening them, what you'd like.
You don't have to.
So I want to name.
It takes practice.
It is a life practice.
Letting go of thoughts is such deep conditioning.
And for most, the training involves letting go of thoughts
and an opening to arrive in the senses.
It might be the breath, body, sound.
I'm so aware, and this is for new, but also experience meditators,
it can be discouraging.
There can be a lot of self-judgment.
I mean, I know so many people have said,
well, I just have a really busy mind.
I'm probably not cut out for this.
I'm not doing it right.
And I just want to say, it's not personal,
and most of us have busy minds.
Thoughts are the primary way we control life.
You know, our mind secretes thoughts like our body secretes enzymes.
We have a default network in our brain,
which means that when we're not engaged in goal-oriented task,
the mind is designed to move back and forth between the past and the future,
and it's trying to reestablish a sense of self of orientation.
of being able to manage things. I've shared that I walk in the woods by the river almost daily.
And usually my intention is presence to be awake, to sound, sensations communing with life.
And it's so clear, especially when I'm stressed, the compulsion to think.
You know, it's not productive. It's more kind of this,
protective thinking that gives the illusion of being in control, you know, that if
I'm alert and vigilant and preparing for what might go wrong, then I'm safer. It just happens.
And the point is not to stop thoughts. We're not trying to get rid of them. That's more ego
control. It's simply to become aware. To inhabit a space that's larger than thought that can relate
to the thought with some curiosity and kindness. And then we get to,
get lost again and then we go, oh, okay, thinking, thinking. And in that noticing, there's
more awareness. There's some space around the thought. We're inhabiting a larger space.
Now I want to name that waking up from thoughts becomes more challenging if they're charged
thoughts, you know, really strong fears or shame or craving. And awareness then needs to
fully connect with the emotions underneath them. If we don't, they'll just keep circling back
into more thinking. So we have to learn this is going to be the next letting go we'll explore
in the next talk, really how to let go of our resistance to feeling feelings. So we can move
from the sticky charged thoughts into the feelings that we've been avoiding. But the basic waking up
from thoughts, just getting more and more the knack of just seeing, oh, thinking and kind of opening
up some, waking up to that ceaseless inner dialogue of commentary and worry and planning.
It opens the door. It begins this liberating process of letting go into freedom.
We manage life with our thoughts. Thoughts cover over the mystery.
So as we begin to see, oh, thinking, thinking, we begin to sense the space between the thoughts.
There's a bit more space.
We sense the space around the thoughts.
It can get to be, and I love this image, that we're in a house with no roof when it starts
getting quiet.
We're in a house with no roof.
You can sense almost that the mind is merging with the sky and we're not living inside the clouds.
We're inhabiting the space of the sky.
House with no roof.
I often, in addition to that, sense being headless and if that sounds strange to you, I invite you when you're meditating to imagine it.
in some way that above the shoulders there's space.
There's no formed head.
Because we're so identified with the head
that when you imagine being headless,
it dissolves that identification.
We expand.
This is the poet Rumi.
Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought.
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?
move outside the tangle of fear thinking live in silence flow down and down in always widening rings of
being so friends we're going to close by practicing a little with thoughts and i really invite you
as you move through the week to let your intention be, just to notice more when thinking is happening
and to explore what it's like to notice and open, to listen, to feel, to open to a larger space of being.
So for these moments, and this will be short, just a taste, as we've been doing, let this be a pause.
eyes closed or the gaze lowered.
And again, to feel the breath as a way of connecting right here and now.
Perhaps a long, deep in-breath and a long, slow-out breath.
A nice full, deep in-breath.
And feeling the out-breath as a letting go.
Letting go.
Letting go.
Breathing in.
And slow out-breath, letting go.
relaxing outward, releasing.
Then as the breath resumes in its natural rhythm,
just sense of scanning through the body,
noticing whatever might want to let go in this moment,
perhaps tension in the shoulders,
softening, dissolving,
softening the hands,
letting the chest be open,
open and the belly soft, relaxing down through the whole body, and perhaps opening the attention
to also sense sound. So you're listening to and feeling the whole moment right here in your
senses, senses awake. Let this be home base. The only assignment here is when thoughts arise
to simply become aware of them. Let the awareness.
loosen the grip so that you can again listen and feel open to more of a spacious sense
of being noticing what's happening inside you.
And if there's subtle thought or more of an overt thought, just to be aware of it,
gently opening, again, listening to sound, feeling sensations.
noticing the difference between a thought, virtual reality, and the realness, the vividness, the immediacy of presence.
Sense if you can notice the space between thoughts, the space around thoughts, imagining that house without a roof,
that your mind is free to merge with the sky, headless,
bound the space of wakefulness, interior wakefulness, wakefulness around you, continuous space
build with the light of awareness. Let go of what is past. Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now. Don't try to figure anything out. Don't try to make anything happen.
Relax right now. And rest.
Well, thank you, my friends, for your presence, for your attention, for your care about waking
up.
So this week we explored the letting go, the opening beyond thoughts, and we will continue as we
move forward the other dimensions of letting go, deepening that taste of homecoming.
Blessings and love to each.
