Tara Brach - Meditation: The "Do No Harm and Take No S***" Practice, by Guest Elizabeth Lesser (2020-11-18)

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

Meditation: The "Do No Harm and Take No S***" Practice, by Guest Elizabeth Lesser (2020-11-18) - This practice - based on an ancient Buddhist meditation - bears the name of needlepoint I found in my sister's office after she died. She was a nurse, and as such had taken the oath all medical practitioners take: to do no harm. She added the next line, "take no s***," because as we all know life requires us to be both kindly and strong. The following meditation is a training in both, because being kind and being strong are not mutually exclusive. Doing no harm and taking no s*** is not an either/or choice. It's the marriage of the two that will make a difference in your life and will change the story in the world. This meditation was recorded on Zoom during Tara's live-stream on 2020-11-18, and was followed by a conversation between Tara and Elizabeth.

Welcome, my friends. We have a guest tonight, Elizabeth Lesser, who is the co-founder of Omega Institute, a bestselling author and friend. And she's going to be leading us in a meditation. You'll find it in her newest book, Cassandra Speaks. And I think you'll really love it. So, Elizabeth, a warm welcome. Thank you so much for being with us. Thank you for having me. I was saying to Tara and her team before we started that it's slightly intimidating to lead a meditation to a group who's used to Tara, who is one of my favorite meditation teachers. You know, I've met so many over my years at Omega Institute. And lots of them. I love so many teachers. But it's the rare teacher who is, the rare teacher who is, you know, I've met so many. both powerful and strong in her teaching, but so vulnerable and real. So I just feel honored to be with all of you and to be leading this meditation. And it's not a Buddhist terminology, although it comes from a Buddhist tradition. I call this practice the do no harm but take no shit meditation. and I'm going to explain to you why in the world I would call a meditation practice,

do no harm, but take no shit. So that phrase comes from a needle point, an embroidery, that I found in my sister's office after she had died. And this was my younger sister who had cancer and we became extremely close in the last year of her life, not just, just only because I was taking care of her, but also because I was her bone marrow donor, which means that by the end of her life, we were sharing all of our blood. We had the same blood, the same DNA. And as we spent more and more time together, we started to learn so much from each other, almost becoming each other. And my sister was a nurse practitioner and a very no-nonsense person. And she always told me that my work and her,

estimation was woo-woo voodoo, because she was a nurse and all the holistic health stuff and the meditation stuff. She just found it way over her head. But as she was getting sick and dying, she wanted to learn how to meditate. And the practice that I taught her that she loved the most was based on this iconography from Buddhism. Maybe you've seen these statues. They're all the rage now in people's gardens where the monk or the Buddha or Quan Yan has one hand in the Abaya Mudra, the Abaya gesture. This is the gesture of fearlessness and one hand in the Verada gesture, which is the gesture of compassion and holding the pain of the world in your hand, to the capacity to feel everything.

So my sister loved doing this meditation, meditating while having her hands in this gesture. And after she died, I was going through her belongings, and I came upon that needle point that said, do no harm, but take no shit. And suddenly I thought, wow, do no harm, but take no shit. It's a good way for us Westerners to relate to this, way of being both strong and open and soft at the same time.

And you know, health practitioners take that oath. It's called the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm. Doctors and nurses take that oath. But as a nurse, my sister had to take a lot of shit, a lot, you know, nurses just take it all. And so I think this idea for her really appealed to her that, yeah, she was going to do no harm, but she needed to have this too. And I think that's why she loved the meditation so much.

So I'm going to lead it with us now. And it's to me particularly relevant to these times when we're all so confused about how strong to be, strong in our opinions, strong in our convictions, strong in our word and our needs. But at the same time, how do we get out of this bind? We're all in where we're not open to. to each other. We're not empathetic to each other. So holding both of these ways of being is the

practice I'm about to lead. So I'd like you to take your posture of meditation. If you're on the floor or if in your chair, I want you to just feel your back nice and straight. Now, if you have a back ache or you're just exhausted from the day, you can lean back. But do try to keep your back really straight. Like our Buddha friend here with his strong, strong backbone, this is for a reason. You know that saying, I've got your back. Well, when we sit with a back like that, we're telling our body and mind and heart, I've got you. I've got your back. So just feel that right now. Close your eyes and just feel your really strong back. And I want you to notice what happens when you straighten your back. Do your shoulders tighten up to your ears. Well, just let them go. And is your jaw clenched? You can relax that. And what about your

belly? When you straighten your back, do you tighten your belly? Just for now, no one's looking. Just let your belly get round and big and soft so you can have strong back and soft front. See what that feels like. The body and the mind are so connected. So when you're a strong back and you, do strengthen your backbone, you are telling yourself, I am a dignified, noble, valid human being. I have my seat. I have my back. I belong here. But when you soften shoulders and chest and belly, you're also saying, I am undefended. I can be undefended because I have a strong back. So just like us to sit with this strong back, soft front. And for right now, take your left hand and put it on your chest.

And let's take a couple of deep breaths in and let them out with a sigh. And on the exhale, when you sigh, feel your whole body relax. And on the inhale, straighten your backbone. So let's do another in-breath. and a deep sigh. Ah! And one more. In breath, straighten your back.

Exhale. Ah! Soft heart. Soft belly. Soft shoulders. Soft face. And now watch your thoughts come and go as you breathe with a nice straight back and a nice soft front. When your back is nice and straight and your thoughts come and start to dominate you,

you can just straighten your back a little, and it just tells your thoughts that someone else is in control here, a sense of belonging, a sense of being, and your thoughts can just go their merry way. So now, keeping your eyes soft, you might want to look and watch what I'm doing for a second. Take your hand from your heart and put it as like a cup in front of you. This is called the Verada Mudra, the Verada gesture. And it is the gesture of openness, of undefended soulfulness. It's the part of you that knows you are connected to everyone. Every single being, whether you like them or agree with them,

this is the gesture that says, I am one with all. I feel everything. I'm so sensitive. I feel the tiniest tear of the tiniest animal. I can hold it all in my cup, in my hand here. This is your sensitive self. So close your eyes and keep your hand in this cup mudra. Until your heart, it can stay wide, wide open.

Your back is straight. It's holding you. So you can be open. You know, the world has told us, it's told women, it's told sensitive men, that we feel too much, that we overreact, that we're hysterical, that we should have a stiff upper lip. Oh, what a shame. That has just wrecked havoc on the world. So for right now, just dispense with that fake news that we need to be hard.

and keep your heart wide, wide open. So now put your tender, open hand down and take your other hand, your right hand, and put it out in front of you like you're making a stop sign. And strengthen your back, drop your shoulders. Now this is the Abaya Mudra, and what this is, this is the gesture of fearlessness.

And when you put your hand out like this and keep your back straight, see if you can feel yourself with this take no shit attitude. Feel your strength and your determination. Feel your dignity. This is the sign of dignity. I belong here. I know my voice. I trust my voice. I trust my values.

I get to say what I believe and do what I know is right. And I'm a fearless being in this world. Feel the nobility in this posture. Okay, now put that hand down. You can open your eyes for a moment. Now, in the Buddhist tradition, these two mudras are never seen alone. Because if all you are is like this,

and you're brittle and hard, you know what happens. You know what happens to other people. You know what happens to yourself. When we're too defended, we become domineering. We become so angry and judgmental and cut off from other people that we're no fun to be around. We're no fun to ourselves. But if we're only like this,

if we're so sensitive that we can't function in the world, we're also no good to anyone else. We fall apart. We don't know who we are. We can't help others. We can't help ourselves. And that's why the meditation is always done together. So I want you to close your eyes now

and keep both of your hands in this mudra. Strong back, soft belly and heart. Open palm. and the fearlessness gesture. And see what this balanced state is telling your body and your mind and your heart and your whole being. What happens when you are both fearless yet open to the other? You are safe to be sensitive and caring because you're also sturdy and protected.

And you can flex that strength. because your empathy will keep you from overreaching. And this is the dance between the two gestures between the do-no-harm and the take-no-shit. So we're going to sit for a minute now in silence, feeling what's going on in our body and our self as we hold these two qualities of our humanness. If your hands get tired, you can put them down and then bring them back up.

If you're feeling a little too soft, a little dulled, tired, can put your hand out and feel that energy. If you're feeling the opposite, too strong, too hard, defended, put the other one out a little more. Play with what you need in your balance. and now coming back, opening your eyes. I just want to offer to you how you can use this practice in daily life. I've done it so much even before I started calling it, do no harm and take no shit. I've used these mudras so much in my meditation practice

that sometimes when I'm about to go into a meeting or maybe I'm just feeling way too sensitive, not strong in my voice, too open to everything. I'll just sort of put my hand under the table. I'll hide it at a meeting. Just put it out like this just to remind me, hey, you've got your own back. Be fearless, be strong.

Or maybe I'll go into a meeting and I'll feel like, I just really want to like, tell it like it like it is and rush things along and not listen. I know what's going on here. They don't. I'll put my hand out like this, and I'll remember that we are all in this together, that everyone's voice matters, that everyone is going through their stuff, and even the ones I may be impatient with deserve my listening and my love.

But most of the time when I'm about to do something, or in the middle of something where I need to check myself, I'll just go like this, just to remind myself to do no harm. and to take no shit. So that's my meditation offering today. Thank you.