Tara Brach - Mindfulness-In-Schools-TimRyan.mp3

Episode Date: February 14, 2014

2013-10-07 - Mindfulness in Schools- Enabling Children to Realize their Full Potential - Congressman (OH) Tim Ryan speaks at Walt Whitman HS, Bethesda, MD.

Thank you so much. Yes, this is a nice break in the action. But there's really not action because the government's closed, so I don't... We have to come up with new phrases these days. We're in uncharted waters, but it's great to be here, and it's great to be at Walt Whitman, and it's always great to be with Tara, and just listen to her. On the House floor, you know, if we want to send time to someone else, we say I yield so many minutes to the gentle lady or gentle. gentleman from, I want to like yield my time to Tara Brock and let her go another half hour.

Some people do get confused when they hear that a congressman is practicing mindfulness. There's a little bit of a disconnect. And so just as a disclaimer, you know, just because you practice mindfulness, as Tara talked about, does not make you perfect. and you know you still stub your toe and call somebody by the wrong name and say things that are stupid to people you care about and sometimes you say things stupid to people you don't care about. But, you know, it's the process and I think Tara really clearly articulated how difficult it is to be a human being and to be a human being with technology and lots of other human beings and conflict and media

and then to try to govern a country within all of that. It reminds me, I think it was a French prime minister who said, how can you govern a country with 383 different kinds of cheese? You know? It's like we've got so many different kind of people, so much diversity. How do we begin to try to figure that all out? And that's kind of how I made my way into the whole mindfulness world. You know, I grew up Catholic, and I had my mother and my grandparents,

parents were always praying the rosary. And so my grandparents lived a couple streets down, and it wasn't, you know, we're going to go to the rosary group for show and dangle our rosaries out so we can look like, you know, we're pious and we're holy and then go back and, you know, not be so very nice. I would ride my bike in the summertime and end up down at their house just to surprise them. They were Italian, so there was always good food somewhere in the house. And they were. And they would be praying the rosary. The TV would be off. The radio would be off. That was their time to really get centered and to meditate and say their prayers and to be in the, just, I can still feel the feeling of their house. It was just so chill, you know, it was just really calm and loving

and just a beautiful place. And I kind of trace my, you know, there's all kinds of things. You know, there's all kinds of of points once you start practicing some form of contemplative prayer or meditation where you say, oh, that was a big moment. That was a big moment. And I remember growing up that those were big moments, me seeing them there. And so as I got into politics and started running for office, I'm from Ohio. And I was 27 when I got in politics. I was 29 when I ran for Congress.

Ohio is a very, very busy political state, as you may know. every four years, it's Ohio, Ohio, Ohio. And there's always, it's a swing state, so there's always statewide elections. And once I got into Congress, I started traveling around the state helping friends of mine who were congressmen going to be governors, going to be senators, and traveling the state with them. I was on the House floor, and I just found out that Tom Manitas is a graduate of this high school. And Tom Manitas was helping me when I first got any work for then minority leaders Pelosi.

we would go to the House floor every night with a 30-something group. And so we had our day job, and then we'd go to the House floor at night, and then I'd go back to Ohio, and there's always a campaign or something going on, and you've got to raise money and do this, that, and the other thing. And then in 2006, I'm a Democrat, we were in the minority. In 2006, we got in the majority, and I got on the Appropriations Committee. So now I'm going to the House floor. I got my day job.

now I got this committee assignment that keeps me even more busy. Then back to Ohio, more campaigns in 2006, running the other congressional races to campaign. 2008, presidential election. It was just faster and faster and faster. And then I remember in the summer of 2008, I was 35 years old, and I was thinking to myself, I am going to be burnt out by the time I'm 40 years old. And so I knew, you know, I'd flirted with different kinds of meditation on and off my entire life, centering prayer, the rosary, this type, that type.

And I said to myself that, you know, I want to jumpstart my meditation practice. Because I know those days that I do practice, that I am more focused, I am calmer, I think I'm nicer to people, and everything was just operated a little more smoothly. Now, there were still people passed away and died and there were accidents and there was all kinds, but things for the most part were a little smoother. And so I I found, I went on the internet, and I found John Cabot-Zinn was doing a five-day power of mindfulness retreat. And I remembered his name because he sent a book, one of his books, called Coming to Our Senses

to Every Member of Congress. I don't know what he was trying to say. So he sent 535 of these around, and I tease John when I see him that at least one of us read his book that he sent. And I remember specifically reading a portion of the book that talked about the body politic and how our collective kind of stress and anxiety leads and leaks out into the greater world. And so I went on that retreat. As I looked it up, it started two days after the November election.

So I thought, wow, this is like God telling me, you know, get your butt there. and so I went and it was a series of sitting meditation and walking meditation. You had to check your blackberries at the door. So there was no reading, there was no writing, as I said, no technology. You really weren't supposed to get on the phone and call anybody. It was supposed to be five days of more and more and more silence. And he would take chunks of the week and there would be nothing but silence. He started out talking a little bit, and then he'd say, okay, so tomorrow, when we're going to leave here tonight, go home, don't talk to anybody on the way out of here.

Tomorrow we're going to get up, do our little sitting, and then you're going to go to breakfast and don't talk to anyone. There's like 60 of us, I think, 60 or 70 of us. So we're all sitting, imagine, you're sitting in a cafeteria with 60 other people, and nobody's talking. You know? I don't know if you ever done that, but the first time it's kind of weird, you know? Because you're used to being in a high school cafeteria or you're at a chicken dinner or wherever you're talking and people just complete. And you just start to notice things. You know, when you start to hear the fork and the knife just on the plate.

Ting, ting, ting, ting. I remember setting the coffee down. And there were steam coming out of the coffee. And I was just, look at that steam coming out of the coffee. That swirl. You see that swirl come out? Does that do that every day? You know, you start thinking to yourself.

But you just start to notice these little things and you begin to become more and more aware of what it is that you're missing throughout the course of a day. Because we got to our Blackberry and we're eating and talking and, you know, driving and all at the same time sometimes. And so as the week went on, there was more and more silence. and towards the end of the week there was a 36-hour period of silence. And I remember distinctly it was in the Catskills, there was a brook, and I remember it was a beautiful day, and then it got a little dark, and I was doing my walking meditation, and it started to snow, and I could hear the brook, and I just had this moment

where my mind and my body were in the same place at the same time. and my stress level, I just really noticed that they had been going down all week, but I just felt myself almost decompressed, you know. And my focus was high, and my mind and my body were synchronized. And that lasted about a second and a half. And then I started having some of those negative thoughts that Tara talked about. I'm like, wow, where'd that go? oh my God I screwed this up I'm a bad meditator you know

how many people have said that oh I'm so bad at this so you tell somebody like I've tried it I'm bad at it I just going to learn how to play golf or something you know because I'm bad but it's so I lost it and I started this whole thing like what am I doing here like a great a congressman walking around in the Catskill Mountains

you know don't tell you and get nervous like I should be home I should be campaigning because that's what my life had been the previous, you know, five, six, seven years. And then I, because through the training that John Toddick got back in my breath, those are just thoughts, no need to hold on, okay, got this under control again, you know, it's all right, let it go. And I, honestly, one of the first thoughts that came into my head after I kind of weathered that storm was why aren't we teaching this to our kids in every school across this country of ours. Why? Was this some secret here that, like,

no, you're not allowed to know how to pay attention. You know, you've got to be distracted like everybody else. And I thought, man, you know, I thought if I knew how to do this, I was a fairly successful athlete growing up. I, you know, all conference, high school quarterback, got a scholarship, all that good stuff. No one cares anymore. I'm 40, but I'm just, I'm not, I'm just saying, I think back, you know, and I was a decent student, you know, but I thought, man, if someone would have taught me this, I mean, I had an, I had an aced every test I took. I would have, I would, there's so many mistakes I've made, I would have, I would have, if I would have, if somebody would have been, now, I would probably have been made a series of other mistakes because that's how life goes. But, so why aren't we

teaching this to our kids. It's such a fundamental skill. And I think sometimes today, things are so complicated and so complex that we think that if someone's got a real complicated, you know, approach, that must be the way to fix this complicated problem that we have is with an even more complicated solution that no one will understand, you know, for the most part. And it's not the case. I really think that if mindfulness somehow, some way, makes its way to a half Irish, half Italian football player in Ohio, that my goodness gracious, it could make it anywhere, you know? Like, let's, let's, and that's really when I became very committed to writing a book, A Mindful Nation, and really speaking out, you know, I take an oath every time, every two years. you know, to the Constitution and uphold the Constitution. And I feel like I would be derelict in my duty as a member of Congress.

If I'm saying I'm going to do what's in the best interests of my country, and I'm going to do in the best interests of my constituents, and I'm going to try to make this a better place to live and work and raise your family. And I knew this, but then I wasn't going to say anything about it. You know, that didn't make any sense to me. And my staff and many other people said, what do you, you're going to write a book about me. Meditation? Like you're 36, 37, you're in Congress, you got in young, you got your whole career ahead of you, and you're going to write a book about meditation.

You know, they said, why don't you write a book about your life? I said, him 37, I haven't done anything yet. What am I going to write a book about? You know, you accomplish it. Barack Obama writes a book about what he did. He's the first African American president. He should write books. I'm not, you know. So I wrote a book about meditation. And in the book really is about, begins with what Tara talked about, the science, and then it gets into education, health care, and what it can do to help our veterans. And those are other issues. But I think for the topic tonight here at Walt Whitman is really how this can help our kids. There's so many pressures today that these kids are under that I wasn't under when I went to college. or high school, and many of you, it wasn't there for you either, even if as many, you know,

five years ago, it keeps getting faster and more complicated. And a lot of us don't know how to handle it. I mean, I'm as confused as can be with how to sometimes solve these problems. But what I have figured out is let's not make things more complicated. I think what we need to do is go back to the basics. Like, let's go back to the fundamentals. And I do remember that from sports. If we would have a good team and we'd have a good team and we'd We'd have some good games and we'd win a bunch in a row and then we'd start losing. And I think a lot of really good coaches do this. They would not try to introduce really complicated new plays.

They would go back and start over with the fundamentals, okay? Start dribbling and passing and shooting and making your free throws and playing good defense. Get back and if we do that right, usually everything else will work out. I think it's the same for us. We've got to get back to the fundamentals of, okay, this is very complex. complicated for kids, lots of technology, video games, all kinds of pressures. You know, we can go through the list, bullying, teen pregnancy, alcohol, drugs, all of these things. Well, we've tried very complicated programs to try to solve those, and, you know, we've had limited success.

Let's get back to the fundamentals of teaching these kids how to slow down, pay attention, listen to each other. and I say this as boldly as I can and care about each other. Like, we have got to start caring about each other. And just because, you know, and I say this at a union hall. You know, I said this at a steelworker hall in Ohio three weeks ago. Because it's essential to our success as human beings, but it's what makes life worth living is having people that you care about and they care about you.

We don't have firefighters that run into burning buildings, and then they come out and they say, well, they left a man or woman or two in there. They say, well, we got eight out of ten, you know. I mean, like, no, they go back in. They make sure. Soldiers, families. You're not going to give up on your kid, you know?

That's what life is all about. And I think that is, in many ways, an extension and end result. of what happens when we slow down, reduce our stress, pay attention, think about the other person, pay attention to what their concerns are. These are skills that we want to teach our children. And to me, it's so complicated out there, I don't know what the economy, you know, so as a congressman, you're very involved in economic development in your district, and you want to bring businesses, and you're working hard, and business incubators and research and all of this stuff that I am involved in in my district.

But I can't predict what the world's going to be like in 10 years or 20 years or what the economy is going to be like. So I think our best bet is to teach our kids how to be in that very complicated world. How to focus and pay attention instead of yelling at them to pay attention. Teach them how to pay attention. teach them how to listen teach them how to work in teams and recognize that you don't have to solve every problem yourself, you're going to solve it collectively

and how to build and develop those skills and how to be resilient. You know? I don't think every kid should get it. I don't know if I'm going to offend anybody here, but I don't think every kid should get a trophy in the league. You know? I just don't.

I don't think that's the way to go about it. To me, you're going to fall on your face. You know, we're here to help you get back up and then show you how to be resilient. Because if we teach you resiliency, you're going to be fine. You're going to be able to have success in any way that you determine. I remember I just got married in April and I have a nine-year-old stepdaughter. I somehow ended up coaching her softball team. I don't know how this happened, but I spent yesterday at the first.

field on three nine-year-old softball games. But I remember the first time she got up, her friend got up, and her friend, who was like the best athlete on the team, she strikes out. And it was a half a second later, she started crying. And I looked at my wife. Now, this was the first girl's softball game I'd ever been at my life. I looked at my wife and I said, she's crying. She says, oh yeah, this is just the beginning.

So I made it a point to go up to my daughter, Bella, and I says, Bella, I just want you to know this, honey. You are going to strike out at some point in your baseball career. What we care about is that what happens the next time you come up after you strike out. You know, I want to, and I don't know if that's fright. or wrong but I wanted to teach her that I want you to be resilient I want you to be okay not okay with failure but recognizing that as a as a component and so having mindfulness I think in the education system infused as much as we can I think can be absolutely essential and we have 313 million people in our country and we

are competing against the globe and 1.3 or 4 billion people in China, 1.2 or 3 or 4 billion people in India, we are competing directly with them. And I think if we're going to compete effectively with 313 million people, we need every single student on the field playing for us and to have a skill and to have the creativity and the ability to go out into the world. and contribute and to reach their own full potential, whatever that may be. And lift up the world. Let's lift up the world. And these kids, you want them to graduate and lift up the world. So I think what I've learned from mindfulness, and I've seen it in the schools,

one of the last, I feel like I can talk this way in front of you guys because you live around the Capitol Hill, but earmarks. Remember, earmarks are these bad things. Well, one of these earmarks that I got brought a million dollars back to Youngstown and Warren City Schools to put mindfulness and social and emotional learning in the schools. And so, I don't have a million dollars for Walt Whitman. I'm sorry. But you can contribute to help get this program off the ground.

I know that for a fact, and it would be a great investment. So in Warning Youngstown City Schools. And just to show you how the teachers have responded to this. When we brought the, I basically talked the two superintendents into doing this. I brought in, got the money and then brought in Linda Lantieri, who works in this field from New York, and a lot of her social and emotional learning programs, she refined after 9-11 in New York with children who were right around the events of that day.

So she's training 60 teachers. I walk in and this woman said, I've already, it was in August before school started, she says, I have already started treating my own children differently at home because of this program. Another woman got the ball and she says, I feel like I'm born again. And I said, okay. And then there was a, you know, I just, and then it hit me, it was like, we're going so fast. You know, it wasn't a huge, it wasn't a retreat. It wasn't a five-day retreat with all kinds of silence.

It was they would do five minutes in the morning and five minutes at the end of the day. It wasn't much. It just were going so fast that even a few moments of slowing down are very, very helpful. You know, then there was, they threw it to a guy that was in the back, and he was pretty much my age. And I got a little nervous about this because there was about four dudes in the whole room. and me and my press secretary were two of them, you know? So I thought, okay, well, maybe let's see how the dude's like this, you know. And he said, you know, I was a little, I was a little, I thought this was a little squishy before I came here.

And he said, but I've been looking for something to try to help. And he said, you know, last night I was at my daughter's soccer game. and I was actually at my daughter's soccer game. And I was watching her run, and the sky was blue, and the grass was green, and the sun was shining, and it was just, he said, I got it. You know, I got it, and I recognized the power of this kind of program. And, you know, you look at what teachers have to go through today, and you look at what health care workers have to go through today, and you look at what health care workers have to go through today, And first responders have to go through today. And doctors have to go through today.

Great article in the New York Times about a week ago about doctors starting to use mindfulness because of their burnout rates. And it's just, it's everywhere. And so let's not think we've got to come up with some complicated issue. Let's slow it back down. Let's get back to the fundamentals. And let's get back to what's important in the country. and I know it's not going to be, you know, 1950, and I don't want it to be 1950, quite frankly, and I don't think anybody else in here does.

But there was a sense, at least in my family, of my grandfather had a really good job, and he got home at 3 o'clock. He worked at the steel me. He got home at 3 o'clock. And the biggest issue of the day for them, what are we going to eat tonight? You know? They got the garden. You go out to the garden.

and figure out we're going to have the eggplant, we're going to have the squash, we're going to have tomatoes, what are we going to do? Then they all lived in the little neighborhood, and my great uncles would come down. They'd have a happy hour, you know? Oh, my God, a congressman's talking about having a happy hour, you know? It's like, no, they were being together. That was what was most important to them was for them to be together. And on the weekends, they'd go play botchy at the park, and they would have a picnic and hang out. And my hope for mindfulness in our society is that we slow down enough to reconnect with those values that are basic American values.

They're not left or right. They're not liberal or conservative. They're values that we all share. And if we go deeper, that's where we get the sense of connection to each other. And as I argue in the book, that's where we recapture the American spirit, that connection. We could disagree. We could have fights. It's fine. That's what we do. But how do we connect? And I would just say that this is not, and I tell this to my very conservative friends, and there are a few down there now. And I like a lot of them. I don't agree with a lot of them, but I like a lot of them.

And when I talk to them about, you know, a lot of them will come up to me quietly and they'll say, hey, I mean, I'm stressed out. what is that stuff you're doing? I want to learn. I says, all right. We'll let you know what it is and we'll show you how to do it. And we've been doing staff. Tara has come down and many people from her organization have come down. We've started a members meditation every week in the Speaker's Chapel,

right under the Capitol Dome for a half hour at the beginning of the week. You can come in. It's called Quiet Time Caucus. You can come in and you can meditate. you can pray the rosary, one rule, can't talk, you know, which is a big significant rule on Capitol Hill. Hard one to follow. And then we do a staff once a week. We do a staff meditation, usually a guide, as I said, Tara has come in.

We've had people who do work with veterans, schools, education, all across the board to try to teach staff members. You never know who's going to be the next member of Congress. You never know who's going to be the next chief of staff that may be a staff assistant today. we try to push this from the outside. I also want to try to light a candle from the inside and try to get this going. But my point about my friends that are conservative is that this is about individual responsibility. This is about personal responsibility. This is about self-reliance. You know, sending kids out into the world to be self-sufficient, fully functioning human beings who know how to deal with the ups and downs of life and can still succeed

and how to focus and concentrate and get a skill and get out there and do it and become the best you can be. This is as much about that as it is about community and support and all of these other things. It cuts across the political divide that we have in the country. And I think it could be a great rallying point for all of us. And I think if we get reconnected to these basic values, we will wake up as a society and begin to design our economy, our food system, you know, our health care system in a way that reflects those deep, deep values that we have. And we will make sure that we can knock down old homes and put up urban gardens.

we'll start subsidizing food that's actually healthy for us instead of subsidizing food that's bad for us. How about that for a novel idea, you know? And begin to reform our education system that promotes these kind of things. What can happen here and what can happen in Maryland can be an amazing thing with just a touch of mindfulness. It's not a silver bullet, but it is an opportunity, I think, for us to get back to those basics that can help kids be able to not just survive, but thrive in 2013 and beyond when things are getting very confusing for them. Thank you so much.