Tara Brach - Open Heart, Open Mind

Episode Date: April 18, 2012

2012-04-18 - Open Heart, Open Mind - Tsoknyi Rinpoche with Tara Brach - In talking about his new book, Tibetan teacher Tsoknyi Rinpoche describes the layers of self that cover over our "essence love," and the way that mindfulness reconnects us to our true nature. His stories, humor and teachings are vibrant and inspiring! Please support this podcast by donating at www.tarabrach.com or www.imcw.org. Your donations make a difference!

It is really my honor to be able to welcome Sokney-Rimbusha here. And Sokne Rimbabhéh is one of the most renowned of the Tibetan teachers trained outside of Tibetan. He teaches all around the world and has two nunneries in Nepal and the largest nunnery anywhere in Tibet that he oversees and supports. It's been an amazing support for women for nuns that want to. it go deep into practice. This has been a major project, a wonderful one, and you'll have the opportunity to support if you'd like. In addition, I just want to say personally that Rimposhae has been one of the most influential teachers for me, this incarnation. I mean, it's been, I think my first retreat was about 12 years ago, and I was on a certain track, and I went to that retreat,

and the effect of dropping deeper and touching the kind of openness who was pointing to tonight has really radically impacted me and continues to. So I have a great sense of personal excitement that you get to be with Rimpashé tonight. His book, Mind, Open Heart will be available to you and you'll hear more about it as we speak. But just join me in this moment just to welcome

and thank you for being with us. I think I thought this is the right time to read the chapter on inner space. So this is a subsection of the chapter on inner space called the first glimpse. I was able to spend only a few weeks with my father at his hermitage at Nagy Gampa. Near the end of my stay though, he gave me a lesson in experiencing space. I'll never forget that first lesson. I was sitting in my father's private room, a small wood-paneled space with a bed, an altar, and enough room for maybe five or six people to sit.

Half of the room was taken up by windows, through which the setting sun shone in golden red light. He said, Look at the area around you with all your senses open, seeing all the objects, feeling all the sensations. don't block anything. Can you sense that openness,

that simple awareness of the things you see and hear and feel? I nodded. With the sun setting through the windows overlooking a broad valley, the sheer physical warmth of my father's body, his sweet but penetrating gaze, the feeling of the hardwood floor beneath me, it would have been hard not to be aware of the multitude of phenomena.

And his gentle advice to experience this awareness openly, without judgment, was a powerful influence. There was something almost magical about the way he could communicate without words or gesture, the possibility of appreciating without judgment all the things I saw, heard, and felt. Then he said, Now turn that same awareness to the mind that perceives these things open, instead of looking at outer space, look at inner space. He demonstrated with his hands, turning his palms outward, to demonstrate the way we ordinarily perceive by looking outward,

and then turning his palms inward to indicate the mind that perceives. Then he let his hands drop into his lap to demonstrate just letting the whole effort of looking drop, to allow whatever happened to happen, or not. In that moment, due largely to the certainty and understanding he'd cultivated over years of practice, I caught a glimpse of inner space, which is wide open and clear, completely beyond concepts or judgments in which or through which the entire realm of phenomena appear and disappear.

For a brief second or so, I had a direct experience of what in the Buddhist tradition is known as the essence of mind or the nature of mind. A luminous, limitless awareness that is not chuffed up into subject and object, self and other, perceiver and perceived. All distinctions between the looker and what was being looked at fell away, and for an instant I experienced a complete lack of separation

between everything I felt, saw, smelled, and so on, and the awareness that, it saw, smelled, felt at that moment even the effort involved in being mindful of something dissolved. And mindfulness became effortless. The clarity, openness, and warmth simply was. It was, as some classic Buddhist text described, like waking up in the middle of a dream while still dreaming. I suddenly, unquestionably knew that what I was experiencing was occurring within my own awareness. but it was an experience free from mental, emotional, or physical labels.

I had a sensation of immeasurable freedom and possibility, inseparable from the potential to be aware of anything that emerged from that pregnant possibility. It wasn't necessarily an extraordinary mystical experience, but more like a deep sense of relaxation, like settling into a comfortable chair at the end of a long day. This recognition of the inseparability of awareness from its experience, the awakening in the midst of a dream, was a Buddha's gift to humanity and my father's gift to me.

Thank you. What you just heard from Rimpichet's book, and what I didn't say is there is a depth that is made accessible, unlike almost any book I've read, in terms of understanding Dharma. And Rimbusha, what I wanted to maybe ask you if you would talk more about is when you go right

to that essence love, and that's, you kind of, the book is pointing towards our capacity, how does that relate to our Buddha nature? And how does it get covered over? So essence love is part of the

spark I mentioned in the book. The spark is very close to the Buddha nature which is open clear and love but that kind of love is not giving and taking it's just experiencing and this love is really missing in this country because of the external conditions One of the reason is that cognitive-based intellectual education is pushing so hard, and with hope and fear, installed it into the emotion and disconnected that covered this child's open love or essence love.

So one time I was flying from New York. to San Francisco, it takes about for almost five hours. And the back of my seed, there's a, I think, 12, 13 years, a young child, daughter of this father, and father has about 40 years, about my age, and 45, by the way. So they've been talking quite serious matter. And at some point the child cried.

And she says, Daddy, I'm sorry. I know that. I'm sorry. But he's not accepting that. He's keep talking and debating with her and challenging her cognitive understanding of what she did wrong. I don't know what.

And she keeps saying, sorry. And he keeps challenging that is your responsible. That means you are not responsible kind of person so you make that mistake is wrong. I hope his attention was good.

But he's trying to teach the cognitive understanding that that kind of child, the age of that kind of child can understand the cognitive, the mind thing. But the emotional cannot understand.

It's still a child need to grow with the environment of spontaneous open environment but he was so harsh on her and I felt very sad that oh I think he's not aware of emotional development I think he's putting all his energy to his daughter to cognitive-based intellectual education and forgotten the basic warmth of humor which is connected with the essence love So now I'm wondering how she grew up. I'm sure she could be very talented at work.

She knows all the boxes that we created in order to function external world. Every level layers I think she know. I think she is quite okay at work. I hope so. But I don't think so she's a happy girl. When she come home or when you're nothing to do, and I think the emotional role to screw up. I have not.

But I felt that if she keeps doing like that, she can be a very good job-oriented kind of person. But the basic, when you come to the home, the emotional, restless, stress, fear, so many layers, and block this essence love. So I, for some time I thought about that. Every time I go to the airplane, I thought, oh, thinking about her. Because I have two daughters also. One is 20 years old, she's quite okay.

One is the nine years or 11 years old. She's still growing. So I can see how the human externally influence will block the well-being of the essence of love. So you might have been just talking about a lot of us here. I mean, I'm just thinking there's so many of us that our parents in some way didn't mean to, but did that kind of treatment. And so we have those layers. And can you maybe speak a bit about you build the book around the foundations of mindfulness? How mindfulness helps to dissolve some of those layers?

I think the best example is my own example. that about 19 years ago I was in Malaysia. There's a tall twin tower. In order to go to other buildings, you have to cross a glass bridge. Very high in the top, but you can see through people down there. Tiny people moving. Time to time, of course, there's some iron who protect. but mostly you can see through it.

So many people are walking on that and I just you know without thinking without just with my friend Lama so I walk after five steps something happened in my body like if you walk one more step you're going to fell down you're going to die so I get a message from my feeling so I came back

Then I checked, I used my mind. Cognitive base, intellectual mind I used and checked, analyzed. Everything is fine. And some Chinese are very big size and quite fat. So they're also working. Why not me? I'm a short and thin at that time. So if I walk, no problem. So I analyze this way, that way, all around and ting, wow, this is a lot.

wow this is you know like a modern country and I mean they will not build like that this is a national national treasure so I'm sure it was very solid so then I thought okay now now I can go so I walk what do you think I could cross or I could no cross sound like no cross no I think I cross or no cross or no cross no yes why not it's so safe and many people

taking pictures there lovers hugging and kissing two people staying at the same spot they did not fell down

so why not and my friend Lamatashi he went there and he come back he said Rambuja come I came already nothing happened

and he look at me and like what happened with you are you joking real? I'm not joking. I was in serious attack. But he could not understand. Misunderstand. So what do you think? Second time I'll cross? No, yeah? So, make a shot because of time. So I walk

another, the second time I was, okay, now no problem because it's very safe. So, okay, I walk. Zoom, zoom. Zoom. Almost same place again attacked happen. So then I come back then I knew so I use my mindfulness and insight that okay now it's not external only because it's internal something happening so I sit a little bit analyze mindful of my feeling go back to my childhood go back to my past life

no joking I don't have that mindfulness so I have a vague memory of my childhood but not a past life but anyhow I scan everything inside of me what happened where is this feeling so I realized that is the feeling

and that kind of scary feeling is in my subtle body not in my mind first time could be a misunderstanding. The second time full conviction that I knew that bridge is safe, but I still cannot walk. So the conflict starts between mind and feeling. Mind says, come on, you could go. Feeling says, no, if I go, I'm going to die. I should listen to mind or feeling? Telling. I should listen to feeling, no?

So feeling is close to me. Mine, I don't know where is it, but feeling I can feel it. So if I listen my feeling, there's few choices. I could go down, take 10 minutes, walk another 10 minutes, 25 minutes take to see other building. There's one choice. second choice I'll ask

my friend llama to carry me there's another choice another choice is close my eyes and just what happened happened and then go maybe fell down or no matter what

so there's another choice another choice is force myself that you know forced to feeling you are stupid

you're no good you know many people going who are you you are you know you give suppress and saying like and go or never visit the other building in your life so what are the choice so how many different type of layers we have this is extreme example if we don't recognize if we listen the first thought maybe good but then you

rear-fire that kind of feeling is really solid in me. An eye comes in and the rear-fire eye start to hold on. And the mere eye means here, like I am going, I'm eating, and today is like that, yesterday. That kind of healthy mere eye is very important. And Buddhists are not denying that. We are nurturing that mere healthy eye as our reference. point. But this mere eye

start to become frozen eye which is reaffir eye and any thoughts and emotion comes, you associate, we associate with that as me and clock, cling like water

become ice and frozen whole being. So this is called second eye. So I saw my second eye, reaffir eye, very solid that I believe that emotion or that, sorry, the pattern, the scary pattern is me. So I, okay, now it's the third time. So I stayed there.

Then I realized when I was young, as a boy, happy boy, did not develop cognitive mind, but But child's hard. So you walk, you do, you jump, you climb the tree and fell down many times, whole branch fell down. Didn't think the branch is solid or not, just hold the branch, boom. So that kind of habitual pattern stays in my feeling, in the body, not in the mind. knows the feeling, I believe mind does not have a feeling. Mind aware the feeling, my understood feeling, my, my, recognize the feeling, but the feeling is connected with the body. Which kind of body is a subtle body, energy body? So in the energy body, I have that old

leftover residue memory is still there. When I walk on the bridge, I'm still there. When I walk on the that all residue affected and come. When that come in, and I, as you said, that is the reality. So mindfulness and insight, I saw that, okay, this is the residue, not real thing. First, you need to notice your feeling. Second, the insight that you know, oh, yeah, that is not a real thing, but you are affected by residue. So that is the insight.

So with the insight and mindfulness need to go together. Then through mindfulness, the wisdom dawn. The wisdom is that I realize there's a discriminating wisdom, discriminating inside that I saw. I don't need to be that much afraid because the reality is safe. But I have to acknowledge my mind. acknowledge my old residue as a real thing. As a real thing.

So I start to develop communication between thinking and the feeling. Because at that time, feeling is more smart than feeling. Not necessarily always like that, but at that occasion. So I keep sending text message to my feeling with an attached file written like this. it is real but not true 100 times it is real but not true it is real means is it a real the feeling is a real I'm not joking I think my friend thing I'm joking but for me is a real but this real feeling is not based on true hundred percent but But that habitual pattern, that habitual pattern must have the right to understand.

The right understanding is not true. If you don't dare to talk to that, to that pattern, the pattern never learn. But if you immediately neglect and if you don't be kind to your patent, which is suffering. obviously so you hold with love and compassion kindness to the pattern accept yes your feeling that opens the heart and right message is not true the open that not misunderstanding in the in the feeling start to open up so keep talking to myself for why and then some point I felt that I think now I can walk but I'm not sure

Now I'm talking about my feeding. So I say, let's try. So I didn't give up my kindness and also inside. So I start to walk third time. A little bit touch on the glass first and holding on the, what do you call? Handrail or banister. But at that time, you know, I had a good muscle. I'm doing a little bit of push-up.

I don't have a six-pack but I have some good muscle so I told to my my feeling pattern don't worry my arm is strong I have some muscle so we go through okay

in case we fell down I can hold it I'm not talking to my mind I'm talking to my feeling this is the feeling problem feeling you need to understand so looks stupid but it's quite intelligent I think So I hold and step with the kindness and right information one whole little bit,

and slowly my gross body also got some confidence. And that from the external confidence, the inside which I'm texting to the subtle body, they sort of match. Then slowly, slowly, and then I cross in the middle. Then I let it go. And I walk. And I go cross.

When I cross, I come back again one more time. And I cross one more time. So it can be done through mindfulness, through insight and kindness. And we are not identified ourselves as that event, whatever you're facing. But first, mindfulness, you need to know what kind of schemas or habitual patterns

are influencing in your life. I'm sure there's many, many things are shaping our life. As a psychologist always pointed out, us. But if you need to change yourself without therapy, sorry. I respect therapy very much.

Most of my 75% of my students are therapists. But anyhow, so if you want to change yourself, the only way is through mindfulness to see the hidden habitual pattern is shaping your life. But when you saw that, you must love, care, and the right insight to that and talk to your ego

not to reify it if that dialogue happened properly through mindfulness inside I think many things can change and in my life many of these habitual pattern change one time I almost died

by airplane many years took you know scare but through this practice now I love to fly so many things can change but willing and aware mindfulness, right insight, message, and constant effort.

I just want to say that when I was reading through, and if you looked at my book, it's got so many pages marked. The piece about real but not true is an amazing takeaway, and I could feel it in the room. And so one of the things I'm wondering is we all have patterns that keep us from being free, where we're identified. and they're historical and are they all in our subtle body and can you say a little more about what I think many patterns both in the subtle body and misunderstanding pattern in the mind both mind and the subtle body sometimes because of the subtle body pattern and drive our mind thing wrong way and that thinking accumulate over the time and we have a wrong thinking pattern and we have a wrong thinking pattern all thinking wrong and slowly it leaves footprint in the subtle body and eventually subtle body also have a habitual pattern but I want to make sure that all the patterns are no bad so constructive patent and destructive pattern and I think I believe 95% of what our knowledge

is based on pattern how do you know there fire is hot. It comes through body. Many of our knowledge is coming from body. You touch the fire and it burns and next time, okay, fire is hot. But the problem is some patterns are overreacted and it become wounded. And that woundiness is giving us a problem. I call wounded love, a wounded heart. Why? Because of disconnect with the essence love. Because of real eye, everything so solid. Do you have a tissue?

Anyone have a tissue? Okay, I think this fine. Ah, okay, just one. It's too small. So, between mere eye, mirror eye and rear-fye eye, we lost the balance. Balance of loose and tight. And we don't know where is the right balance.

The right balance for this tissue, how much do you need to hold on? How much tight do you need? Is this the right balance? Yeah? Is the right balance? Or this is the right balance? So if you hold like this, then you like a Nepali.

Nepali, you know, India and Nepali? They hold. They hardly don't hold, but they're happy. We hold here very tight, but sometimes could be hollow. Okay? So this balance I see is very important. And now why we're holding this too tight? Because of our environment.

From childhood, you give love, you express your love, your child. We think we're expressing regardless what we will, you know, is our child. But in fact, the action is not really happening that way, without knowing or unknowing. So you give love based on condition. The child come home with good grade and teaches, you know, pleasing, letter and your huck is much different than normal. And your movement, your smile is different than normal. And child did something a little bit wrong

and your huck is like all facial expression, tone of voice is different. But they might not know here, but they picked up in the emotional so their thought, their feel the love is conditioned. Love is conditioned. And because of more and more, the basic, unconditional without object, love is decreasing, covering.

So, instead of that, we put a fear, because fear is the most effective method to drive our mind speedy and to obtain something, to become something. So, Honey, if you don't do well in school, you know, you might end up at homeless shelter. No, no, joking, joking. But, oh, serious.

I think life is serious. Education is a serious. Work, of course, more serious. But in fact, this is the series. This is extra. So you hold and hold everything serious, no humor, and then and of somewhere before Mirage Christ happened, joking. So you become like this. Still holding and still we think we are not enough to hold. And then whole arm is pain. So from the subtle body, the reaction is coming to the gross body.

neck pain, leg pain, ice burning, headache, chronic disease, it's all happening because of too serious about our life. The openness, the child heart is completely close. The inner most spiritual is connected with the love is diminishing. Driving fast, getting something, and we expect all the happiness is coming from outside. But it might happen for a while. But at the end, you have to feel your feeling.

The feeling is hollow. Hello. Hollow. I like Horm. It's better than... Hohlo, I don't want to say. Horm, it's so beautiful. The British language.

Some is terrible. Some is so beautiful. The Horm is really resonant. It's like a nectar. So you hold like that, so life become like this too serious. So I always think mind develop all the way is no problem. But if we don't take care that development and we subtly sneak the fear in order to drive that kind of lifestyle, gives a lot of subtle fear in the emotion.

And that is the covering. and what you become you become lonely in deep down wanting to feel happy but cannot and consuming so many things still not

I have a story you want to hear it's okay yeah so we're time okay one time I was in New Delhi a little bit bad mood

because of weather or so many things. Indians they always say yes no problem but is a problem. I will do it that means I'm not going to do it. It's a very difficult life there sometimes so I was staying in five-star hotel but by the way if you want to go to India please stay in five-star hotel either you stay cheapest hotel or five-star hotel because cheapest hotel is also no good three-star hotel is also no good so why or you save some money. So I was in a little bad mood so just living through the channel. Suddenly I saw some light there. Wow, there's a one

handsome man. Really, very nice, very amazing like a god child. God's son, so very handsome beautiful laughing, charismatic, no, charisma, eyes big but very And the most amazed was for me is he had a six-pack. That under the shirt, I can see four packs, but I assume there's two more packs down there. And he's walking and he's holding one beautiful, stunning lady holding. And she's so happy also. And her hairstyle is going like this. And long neck and big mouth like Julie Robert.

Very beautiful. So happy, you know, it contrasts me like I'm not that happy. Why they are so happy? So finally I realized they're holding the computer called Sony Waiyo. Then I said, oh, because of that they're happy. Then the middle of my thought, no, no. This is at advertisement. And I knew the film interested a little bit.

interested a little bit, involved a little bit. One flick, it changed 10, 15 times. So I'm sure they choose the right person and trained person to express happiness. So, oh, this is... No, no, no. Then it's already gone somehow. I know it's not true.

It's an advertisement, yeah? Then I went to Singapore. It shows again. caught me a little bit but okay I know then I went to Paris in the middle of road also shows

side wow okay advertisement then I came to New York I bought it I bought it the computer

last at New York and now you're happy right So, it just started me about one week. It fulfilled my gap. To fill the gap of the holiness down there. I was bringing out. Sometimes I remember that I might have a six-pack and I look down, no.

So we're having that mood. But the funny thing is when they advertised that at the TV, they did not advertise, that this kind of computer, if you take into high plateau like Tibet, it will crash. They didn't advertise there. They did not advertise also. When you hold on the screen, it will leave a lot of fingerprint. They did not advertise. You take different countries, there are different pluck.

They didn't advertise. So then, you know, it distract me for a while, but then, you know, I come back into my original state. So I took, in fact, I took this computer to Tibet, it crashed. Don't worry. So, you know, when you hollow this, and you know this is advertisement, but somehow beauty of their advertising skill that, you know, connect your hollowness through emotion, at the end, you have to have it. Then it will help for a while, but same state.

So that is called the third eye, which means needy eye. Because you don't feel right there, something is missing, but you don't know what. You ask your mind, what is missing, no idea. Because mind analyzed, oh, I'm a best country in the world in America. Really, your country is our country is our own. country is the best. So far, I travel all over the world and your country has, you know, voice of everyone, more or less, no, of course. But you have a suing system. You sue each other? We sue each other. I think it's a good. I think people who sued is not so good,

but in general the system is good. That is shows, you know, equality, same voice. I think I'm not a politician, but I like that. Balance, power. So many things are good. Lifestyle is here, fantastic. People are very good, very warm. And, you know, best technology. But you thought, okay, I have all this thing. But then when you then slowly, the necking down there, because of the fear is disconnected, with the essence, love, when a hollow feeling comes in. That is very strong.

I see this is a 21st century's disease. If we don't take care of our feeling, too much taking care of our thinking education. And because of that, we keep a lot of fear, hope, speed, and, you know, all this, gives a lot of stuff in the body.

And that block the well-being. So my wish is now we reconnect our child heart, but not child mind, please. With the grown-up mind and child-heart could be a very beautiful, beautiful life, I think. Feeling, we need to stay in the childhood. No, child-heart. But the mind grown up, and that need to be a good relationship. good connection. Then I think with a lot of skills,

warm, essence love, happy love, life can happen, I think. I've been teaching about 20 years, so I like to know the other cultures, why, how, where is good, you know. So I think the root is that disconnected or covered. The flame is still there, but the cover. but it's covered by many layers. And these layers are halt by rear-fire eye or identified by me with a serious tightness.

And if you don't lose that, I think sooner or later you suffer insight. But looks outside shining nice. Why not we change that? Why not we change our education system a little bit? Why not we change parenting little different way? why not we care for that as a world peace. Everybody, of course, many years ago, I never heard about internet. So now it's in my iPad.

Things can change if we ship something. So why not after 10 years, all the child has warm, okayness in the feeling by use maximum thinking. I have a great hope for that. one of the motivation behind this book is to reconnect this essence love and come out. When you have this essence love, then the wounded love or love with subject and object and a lot of blockage from the feeling you will heal, not necessarily only thinking. Because thinking is already too much with speed and fear.

So, then small things, now computer is not making me happy. I want to buy some big things. Or small things are, you know, I want some recognition, world recognition. I want to be a good, famous teacher. And I like to identify with that. Oh, I smile, your smile is so beautiful. is so beautiful. And someone says, one says

your smile is good. Other one says you're smiling so good. We like to see your smiling, your smiling smile. So, oh, I think I'm a good smiler. I am a good smiler, in fact. And then finally is,

I found myself now because I'm a great smiler. So I would like to hold that as my identity, secretly. talking. Yeah? And that is called social eye. Eye number four. The social eye. One of the ways we look for fulfillment or confirmation is in the eyes of other

people. We look to other people for confirmation of who we are, who we would like to be, or what we believe about ourselves. This is a layer I refer to as a social. eye, that aspect or layer of self we develop when dealing with other people. Unlike the other layers of self, the social eye is not a part of the traditional Buddhist model of eye or ego layers. My understanding is grounded in my own experience as well as in the conversations with Western psychologists, and it's taken me a number of years to identify and describe it. My confrontation with the social eye, began after I arrived at Tashi-Jong monastery to begin my training. In order to understand the type of training, a Tulku, and here the word Tulku means the previous incarnation of the Lama, I ask you to imagine the very best and the very worst of what might be referred to in some countries as a private school system and in others as the

public school system. You're given the opportunity to study with great teachers. In addition to spelling, grammar, vocabulary, history, astronomy, and calligraphy, you're offered a rigorous course in the philosophical foundations of Buddhism, studying the words not only of the Buddha, but of all the great Indian and Tibetan masters who followed him. You learn not only the value of empathy, tolerance, patience, and generosity, but also the practical methods for cultivating such qualities. You learn a wide range of meditation techniques

and the rituals associated with the Tibetan form of Buddhism. Most of the early years of Tulku training, however, involve rote memorization of texts and ritual movements so that the Tulku can complete a teaching or a ceremony when the electricity goes out and everyone is plunged into darkness, not an uncommon occurrence in places like India and Nepal. You memorize a certain number of pages, maybe 200 a year, and then you're tested on how well you've memorized those pages.

You're given three chances to pass the test. If you fail a third test, it's back to the books. At the same time, you're indoctrinated in the sense that it's your duty, not only to master the philosophies and practices, but also to preserve a culture on the brink of extinction. The wisdom of men and women accumulated over more than 2,000 years will be lost if you don't pay strict attention. If you don't sit, stand, speak, and wear your uniform,

the red and yellow robes of a Tibetan Buddhist monastic, perfectly, you're a failure in terms of this noble tradition. You're a failure to your teachers, to your families, and to an infinite number of beings residing in an infinite number of universes who are depending on you to carry out your traditional role. a rather heavy responsibility to be placed on the shoulders of a 12-year-old boy. I'd arrived at Tashi-jong later than most of the other Tulkus,

who had begun their training at the age of eight or nine, so I felt hard-pressed to make up for lost time. I suppose, like many children, I wanted to please my teachers, so I applied myself vigorously to my studies and tried my very best to emulate the behavior of my pre-incarnation. If I pleased my teachers, they were happy. And when they were happy, I was happy. I liked it, they were pleased with my discipline.

That they would point me out to others as a model saying, look at Sonny Rumpaschet, what a good tuku he is, follow his example. Pleasing my teachers became a sort of addiction, a susceptibility to the conditional sort of love described earlier. Yet from time to time, I felt a nagging discontent, a sense that I wasn't the reincarnation. of some old man, and in pleasing my teachers by acting like one, I was, in a sense, suppressing the basic openness and warmth of my childhood self, the boy who liked to play,

to talk, to laugh, to joke, to move around, to jump across rivers, and sometimes land in the water. I was very gradually losing the connection to the deep sense of spontaneity, warmth, and playfulness I felt for most of my young life. The praise felt good, but not the behavior that generated the praise. A part of me knew I was pretending, and yet I kept on pretending because I liked the praise. After a year or so, however,

even the praise lost its luster. I knew that I was pretending, behaving in a way that wasn't consistent with how I really felt deep down. I started to feel as if I were living two lives at the same time, the well-behaved, industrious Tulku, and the adolescent boy who didn't like sitting as still as a statue, who wanted to joke around, wander through the village, make friends with children my own age. Outwardly, I was a model of discipline. Inside, my mind

was flitting about, and my body was raging with adolescent hormones. That's the trap of the social eye. It's almost set up for conflict because what we're feeling inside may not be what we're trained to project outside. If I behaved exactly like the Tulkul ought to behave, there was no problem. But I couldn't follow the Tukal rules all the time. It wasn't in my nature. I was a social, playful boy. I like talking to girls, making jokes, relaxing, not being so formal all the time. Consequently, I developed a bit of resentment and then felt guilty about the resentment. But the anxiety to please, the resentment I felt, and the guilt about the resentment were all wrapped together. And as I grew older, I began to ask why.

So the point here is we need social eye, but we have to know between social eye and male eye how to dance between social eye and male eye. how to play between social eye and mere eye the social eye is your the mere eye is your home and social eye is part of you the best example is His Holiness Dalai Lama

he used his social eye maximum and in order to benefit other ancient beings if we can do that that's the best way because your work your skill is in the social eye

not in the mere eye the social eye is making money not the mayor eye the mayor eye gives the comfortable home so the point is if we can use social eye

as a compassionate activity and basically who you are rest in the mirror eye connect with essence love and stay cognitively in the space. With that as a platform, and then you can dance, or sometimes I call you can be a compassionate actor

that acts through the social eye without disconnect mere eye. Because I saw many beings, sorry, one sentence. I saw many beings that, either they love it or tight up kill yourself because of social eye or you completely reject the social eye and say blame the world is terrible I'm going to go into the mountain and this is the speediest world that I really hate and you cut off the social eye I think it's not right so best is to live with the social eye, when you come back home, you be with the mere eye, sorry, you come back home, be with

the mere eye. And then if you see the meaningful and change the compassionate activity from the social eye, there could be a very good lifestyle. And you can always hear that His Holiness, Dalai Lama says, I'm a simple Buddhist monk. In the dream, he dream, he dreamt, Buddhist monk, not as a social eye connected with Dalai Lama. But he used his social eye maximum in the compassionate way. Why don't, we can do that also. And you don't need to, we don't need to run away from our world. And we can make the world in the better shape.

Not giving our wounded into the world. So this is my hope. I have one question. I have one question just to say a little more. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the term mere eye, but because it's so beautiful what you're describing about having that be home, could you just leave us with a little more of a sense of what that means to come home to be a real? Mere eye here means I am going to live soon.

So there's an eye there. I am going to listen so like very tight me and you like frozen that is a real fire eye so there's a humor there is merely there

is nothing is you there solidly anyhow so why not you be with that kind of reality nothing is solid everything is moving in fluid fluidity

so why you hold on that as a solid identity, me as a very serious. And that gives the whole churning of samsara into the tightness. So basically, I am here. If you ask me, are you son Yombushé? I say yes.

Are you really son Yombuchar? I even don't know myself. I don't think so there's a real sonnyrumbache. But I believe this is me. this is mere designated name together with this five scantle form and I call it me but what kind of me is merely me

and that merely has a what do you call kind and soft open humor which is I think everything could be like that I don't think so you look this glass is very solid. But if this glass become more solid than glass,

I don't think so. It cannot be glass. This glass more loose than this glass. I think it cannot be a glass. We look solid. Rock is solid, but I don't think so it's so solid. If rock need to be more solid than rock's solid, I don't think so the rock will not rock.

So we lost this the mere mere designated soft kind as I this is I but this eye

is experiencing the essence of this mind resting in the open so that three things is your home our home and we must come back to that

home and I think we are missing that home because no one is advertising in the TV except because it's not making money. If you want to make more money, you have to scare more, make more hollow insight.

Then you consume more. But they don't care for our well-being because this is not a product. This is a product, I think this is number one seller. But it's a state of mind and experiencing. I'm not complaining the external, you know, comfort I like but I like to stay in the middle way you know when I come to America I stay in a hotel three-star hotel and the right location is important

if I go to India five-star is important so thank you thank you inviting me here and I know your work is really affecting thousands of people online and give more awareness really give more awareness give more value here the life is not only a consuming it's consuming is part of the life of course we have better medication we have a heat we have a condition everyone has an iPhone iPad not everyone most of okay sorry and you know I think we life is the bodies, life is much better than before. But we put so much effort on that and make ourselves stress, fear and hollow. And that will bounce back one day. I think more

more divorce is happening, more unhappiness is happening inside. But you know, first time I come here, when I hear, you know, some people I'm not happy. When I listen that, I could not take it, why you're not happy? Because in Nepal, All India happy is different, physical unhappy, but a warm heart is there. But here, physical is fine, but you still say I'm done, I don't feel good. So it took me a few years to understand what is the root. The root is disconnect, cover from the essence lab. Please restore and tell everyone.

Thank you. You're doing that job, thank you. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that. Now we don't have much time because I talk too much. There's one chapter that's called Bodhishteda, loving kindness and compassion practice. So that without connecting the essence of love, whatever boundless love, compassion is become mind-oriented,

not the feeling. Because you feel hollow and you think, oh, I love all Sanjin, being, what? I don't know where to start. But the starting is this essence love. When you have that, you feel okay. And that okayness will transform the needy eye. When that needy eye start to become some kind of compassionate oriented, that can change

social eye. And with the social eye, then compassionate comes out of that and go to the world, practice six parameda and become Buddha, Satva. so the bodhisattva seat I call it is essence love Namaste I hope that you'll feel that DC is one of your spiritual homes

and did I say right did I do that well Home Let me try to get home Close close Close Very close And come back and teach us again We really will for you back

And I didn't get to introduce Esteban over here, thank you for doing the readings, the brilliance behind this whole organization that's really bringing these Tibetan teachings everywhere. So a big, deep bow to you. And thank you for being with us also. Thank you for being here. Blessings. The talk you just listened to has been freely offered. If you'd like to make a donation, learn more about my schedule, or about programs offered by the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, please visit either my website, which is tarabrock.com, our IMCW site, which is IMCW.org. Thank you very much.