Tara Brach - Part 2 - Realizing True Well-being

Episode Date: April 20, 2011

2011-04-20 - Part 2 -- Realizing True Well-being - Buddhist psychology and the Western oriented field of positive psychology agree: How we pay attention determines whether we live primarily in fear an...d judgment, or happiness and peace. This two part series explores the teachings, practices and attitudes that enable us to live a meaningful life with a heart that is "happy for no reason." Please support this podcast by donating at www.tarabrach.com or www.imcw.org. Your donation makes a difference! Thank you!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:16 A woman in our Sangha recently shared a story with me, a friend of hers, had asked her to sense this. She said, what would it feel like to think that something good was going to happen rather than something not so good or even something bad? So she asked her, what would it be like to just think about that, that something good is about to happen? And so this woman, friend of ours, thought about it, and the response was, it would feel totally weird and uncomfortable. And her friend's response was, good, now try it. So how about we all try that for a moment? Just a sense in your life, this is in your life, what's it like when you reflect on the possibility that something very good is going to be? to be happening. Just notice, be mindful. What's it like when there's that reflection?
Starting point is 00:01:23 Something good is going to happen. You can continue to explore that. But just to say that our normal habit is to fixate on something not so good happening. It does feel weird and uncomfortable for many of our nervous systems or body minds. We are so used to tensing Do you know what I mean? Tensing against what's around the corner? Yeah. Yeah. So what we've been doing in this last class and what we'll be doing tonight is exploring what happens when we,
Starting point is 00:02:14 instead of our habitual way of something's wrong or something's missing, we very intentionally open our psyches and our hearts to what's, sometimes called the infinite field of possibility. That any moment, right now, there's an infinite possibility of what can arise and experience. From joy and freedom to getting completely stuck. But any moment, it's all there. It's like this fertile void that's creating this universe over and over again,
Starting point is 00:02:52 moment by moment. And what determines our experience is the, way we incline our mind. What's the habit of thoughts and feelings? Do we incline our mind towards a kind of grimness? Or is there a sense of, don't know, but open to what might happen, you know? Okay. Now, I brought up last week what is to me this very, you know, it's a wonderful current in Western
Starting point is 00:03:24 psychology called Positive Psychology that many, many people. are familiar with. And positive psychology is basically saying for too long, the attention in psychology has been focused just on a kind of disease model and that we forget that it's possible to cultivate a sense of real well-being. It's really possible. And some of the criteria is well-being on a very, what you might call a familiar level,
Starting point is 00:03:56 which is positive emotions, feeling good, feelings of accomplishment. But positive psychology also points to a much more evolved kind of state of well-being, where we have a profound sense of meaning that comes from realizing our belonging to each other and to our world. A very evolved sense of what's possible and sense of really coming home to a sense of fullness and wholeness. And so that's where the intersection is with spiritual paths, with the wisdom traditions, the Buddhist being one of them. In Buddhist psychology, the invitation is, if you come and practice and pay attention to your experience, it is possible to experience profound peace and joy and freedom. So the Buddha set this up, he kind of gave a very, I think, elegant framing with the four noble truths,
Starting point is 00:05:05 which started by saying that every one of us incarnates, these body minds have a kind of innate duca, which is a dissatisfaction and uneasiness. And the uneasiness is like saying we're stressed. I mean, life is stressful because it's impermanent and changing, and there is a natural tendency in this organism to go, don't like it when it's unpleasant and want more of this and feel unsafe about that and grasp after it.
Starting point is 00:05:37 That's just the tendency. And that's the first noble truth that this Dukha exists. It's the conditioning of our organism. And the second noble truth is that when we play it out, when we get identified with, I have to have, have it this way and I don't want it that way, we suffer. The third noble truth is, but freedom is possible. We don't have to live inside of that small self-identity.
Starting point is 00:06:10 And then the fourth noble truth is kind of saying, here's how. Here's how we discover that freedom, that well-being, that's really the evolved end of positive psychology, that real liberation. And in the fourth noble truth, the fourth noble truth has been described as the eightfold path, there are three basic clusters that the Buddha described as what allows us to live in fullness. And I'm going to kind of explore these clusters in this class. One of the clusters is described as samadhi, which is that we learn to pay attention, moment to moment to what's happening right here.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Samadhi includes a concentration that helps to quiet the mind and the mindfulness that opens us. The second of those clusters is that when we do that, there's a kind of wisdom or attitude or understanding that we tap into. We start seeing that there's no peace if we're chasing after things and wanting them different. We start seeing it keeps changing, so go with the flow. And we see that when we have a sincere intention to wake up, to be present, we start coming home to a sense of wholeness. Okay, so cluster number one, learn to pay attention. Cluster number two is the wisdom and understanding that comes from it. The third cluster, and we're going to spend more time on the third cluster tonight,
Starting point is 00:07:46 is that from that understanding, our actions in the world become compassionate. wisdom wise. So the teaching is that for us to experience full well-being, we end up in this virtuous cycle of these three clusters. We learn to pay attention inwardly. We start waking up our understanding and we start living from that. And we can't leave out that third piece. That are ways of speaking with each other, our ways of engaging in the world, are ways of
Starting point is 00:08:22 taking in the world are all essential to feeling the wholeness of who we are. So those are the three clusters that we will go through. And as I mentioned, they feed each other in a kind of virtuous cycle. Now, an interesting reflection to sense whether you're in a virtuous cycle of paying attention, kind of waking up to things and living out of that, are whether you're in, and I don't like the word unvirtuous, but a kind of trance cycle, I'm going to give you a little reflection. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:59 And that is just to sense, okay, this week, you're going to look at this week, and you're first going to just sense, well, what most matters to me? Like if I have to look at my life at the end of my life, looking back, what do I most want to know that I've experienced in my life? what do I most want to touch? What most matters and how I live my life? So we begin to sense, okay, it matters to me, perhaps,
Starting point is 00:09:54 that I am present or kind with others. It might matter to me that I really live the moments or that I touch some peace, that I'm not always on my way somewhere else. We might have these different things that we say, oh, this is what matters. And then we look at our week and we say, well, how much did what matters converge with how I spent my moments this week? Did the way I spend my moments serve what mattered? Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Now, this is a reflection that helps us sense, are we in a virtuous cycle of awakening to well-being? or are we in a trance cycle, we're kind of repeating patterns that keep us really from our wholeness. That's just an inquiry. Some people find it helpful, some don't. Is there a mesh between what matters and how I spend my time? It's kind of basic, right? Okay, so we'll look at the trance cycle first that I mentioned the three clusters, how we're paying attention, what we're realizing, and how we're acting.
Starting point is 00:11:10 right? In a trance cycle we kind of know how it is that rather than a mindful presence, what's happening? We're spinning. We're bicycling away from the moment with a busy mind, right? And our mind is either planning or worrying most of the time. And the attitude inside is in some way
Starting point is 00:11:30 that this self is threatened, it's got to do something more, something's not okay, and then the actions. There's criticalness usually. There's kind of sometimes careless There's certainly a speediness, not much arriving, which then feeds a non-meditative attention. We get busier. And you see how the cycle goes?
Starting point is 00:11:51 So we can see it in particular situations that we might have a lot of intertension. We might have this busy mind that's kind of fixating on, I need something to satisfy me or soothe me. And then we'll fixate on either taking in too much food or checking things off the list for many of us. And I certainly, this is one of mine, every time I check off something, my nervous system relax some for about 30 seconds. So sometimes it's that. Sometimes it's accumulating. Some of you might remember, this is Reader Rudner. She says, someday I want to be rich.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Some people get so rich they lose respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. So we, you know, this is the trance cycle, again, that what happens, we chase after money or we chase after accomplishments, checking things off the list, or we kind of try to soothe ourself, and then what happens? That activity then creates a kind of inner state where we end up feeling bad about ourselves and then playing it out some more, right? Or we might see it that our internal state,
Starting point is 00:13:18 our non-meditative state, is that we're having a fight with ourselves about how we're aging. You know, for many of us, there's a feeling of being kind of at war with the insults of aging, what's happening to the way we look, or for many people the way we think.
Starting point is 00:13:38 You know how it is with your memory when it goes? You're trying to get a word, and the more anxious or uptight you get like it's gone. And then what happens when you relax? It counts, right. But most of the time, we're at war with what's going on, so the very thing we want, we're kind of chasing away. And I did hear a story of two elderly couples were enjoying a kind of friendly conversation, and the one, the hostess was in the kitchen,
Starting point is 00:14:06 the host was kind of entertaining this other couple. and he was telling them how he said you know I went to this memory clinic and it was fantastic and the guests said you did well and the guy says well what was the name of the clinic freeze you know so so he because you know they taught us all the latest psychological techniques visualization association but the name okay wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute and then he then he got an idea and smile broke off over his face he said okay what do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns. And you mean rose?
Starting point is 00:14:43 Yes, that's it. Rose, Rose, what was name of that clinic? So we use our tricks, you know. So this trance cycle is basically something most of us are familiar with. We get into a state of mind. That state of mind makes us feel worse about ourselves. We act out of it, which then makes us recycle. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Now there's that line I have shown. shared with you that I find so useful, which is that neurons that fire together, wire together. The more we think certain thoughts, the more our mind is inclined to those thoughts and then the feelings that they bring up, and we get caught. And what happens, if you think of it, well, what do you most regularly think about? What is the biochemistry that's become your set point? You know? That's what I mean by the trance cycle. It just keeps looping. And we know how Gandhi put it. He described that, you know, our beliefs create our thoughts and our thoughts create our moods and our moods create our actions. And then our actions create our character. Our character creates our destiny.
Starting point is 00:16:07 So the big inquiry, really, for most of us is about waking up. Way Wu-Wai, who I think is wonderful, says, why are you unhappy? Because 99% of what you do is for yourself. And there isn't one. Interestingly, if you look at what's called positive emotions, our positive emotions arise when we are not fixating on self. Think about it. Gratitude, joy, happiness.
Starting point is 00:16:40 It's not like we're ruminating about what's going to help me. How can I get more? What's wrong with it? There's more of an openness. there's an outflow. You can think of this positive cycle that wakes us up out of trance in evolutionary terms,
Starting point is 00:16:59 that when we're in a trance cycle, there's a fixation on an endangered sense of self. And what's activated is our limbic system, the more primitive parts of our brain, right? So we're living from those emotions, the fight-flight emotions and the thoughts that actually keep on activating limic system.
Starting point is 00:17:22 When we move into a well-being cycle, we're actually activating the more recently evolved parts of the brain, the social brain that is responsible, the circuitry that's responsible for a kind of empathy and intuition and sensitivity. We're waking up the parts of the frontal cortex that are able to go metaccharacterial, cognitive that are able to recognize thinking but not be caught in it.
Starting point is 00:17:51 We're waking up consciousness. So science has confirmed what the mystics describe, which is the science puts it in terms of neuroplasticity. It doesn't have to be our destiny that we stay in the same set of thoughts and the same swamp of worry, anxiety, depression. We don't have to stay in that. We can actually recognize it and train our attention in a way that wakes us up. So we're going to look at how we do that. And last class, we explored the trainings in metta or loving kindness and gratitude. And tonight we actually did a meta meditation.
Starting point is 00:18:44 What are we doing with the meta? You know, there's a kind of beauty to it that we're simply directing our attention. attention to goodness. It's not a Pollyanna thing. It's almost like because we're so conditioned to fixate on what's wrong, we are intentionally widening our way of noticing and bringing our attention to the beauty and the mystery and the sweetness and what we can feel astonishment and wonder about. So META does it with each other.
Starting point is 00:19:22 the gratitude practice, what do you love? What do you appreciate? I shared in the last, our last time here, that there's so much research that shows that if you just each day spend a little time reflecting, okay, so what really do I appreciate? It gladdens the heart in a way that can change your biochemistry,
Starting point is 00:19:49 change your set point. It works. So these are the inner trainings. Remember I mentioned the three clumps. This is the samadhi and the mindfulness. This is the inner trainings. Then we explore, well, how do we have our outward expression? Our way of moving through the day in some way help to evolve us,
Starting point is 00:20:18 help to awaken our hearts and minds, help to bring us to well-being. And I've always loved a line from E.B. White. He says, I wake up each morning torn between the desire to serve and the desire to savor. Those are two good options, aren't they? So if we look at those two, and the reason I like those two is it really speaks to being engaged in our world in a way that's serving. It's like breathing out. It's like offering out. but also engage in a way that takes in,
Starting point is 00:20:59 that lets us be touched. Okay, savoring. So start with serving, and you might remember Albert Schweitzer who said, the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. And it's not some moralistic injunction that you should serve. Why does it make us happy?
Starting point is 00:21:31 What is it when we are with someone and in some way our touch or our words comforts them? What is it that makes us feel so good? Or when we are involved with a project and we realize, oh, this is helping people. This is bringing more ease to people's minds or more happiness. Are we just smile at somebody on the street or in the elevator and you can feel that in some way that,
Starting point is 00:21:59 shifted something. What is it that makes us feel good? And I often say it's marbled because in some way we're all on a, you know, a kind of a project, a good self project, you know, it makes us feel better about who we are in some way. But I think there's something deeper, which is that when we serve, we come home to, we're inhabiting more the truth of who we really are, which is in relatedness that we belong. We're serving because we're serving the wholeness of what we are, the unfolding to wholeness. So serving gives us meaning in some way. And I want to share with you a story that I found really powerful.
Starting point is 00:22:53 The woman is Jan Adrian, who's a, she founded healing journeys, which is healing and support for those touched by cancer. And she, oh, maybe a year or so ago, blogged something. And she said that she had a chest x-ray done because they were trying to see if the cancer had metastasized to her lungs. And the doctor called and said there was a nodule that on the lung. And so she's going to have to have a CT scan. So this is serious business. She goes in on Wednesday to get the CT scan. And it's told the results, as often they say, will be ready the next day.
Starting point is 00:23:33 the next day comes and her anxiety is over the top. I mean, she can't concentrate. She felt like crying all day. And she's ruminating. What if the cancer is metastasized? And on some level, she feels like, you know, everything I've done, all the exercise and all the ways I've been thinking and feeling, you know, and eating everything, it was all a big waste.
Starting point is 00:23:58 And she felt like she just would not have the energy to handle another round. So she calls the doctor's office twice, and she's promised that I'll call back, and he doesn't. Thursday night, she starts reading and meditating, and then she remembers her prayer, which is, make me an instrument, use me. So that's been her prayer, make me an instrument, use me. And then there's this, she has this kind of flash, which is, what if having cancer again was the way I could be most useful as an inspiration to others. And again, this has been part of her life work,
Starting point is 00:24:40 so this is a very real thing. What if this is just part of it? And then she writes, it's more important to me that my life be meaningful rather than easy to include whatever arises as part of the package, not bad or good, but trust that all things work together for good.
Starting point is 00:25:00 In other words, whatever's going on is a part of it. It's meant to be. So she said that that reflection gave her some peace and calm. And the next day, Friday, she calls the office, and it turns out her doctor had left for a two-week vacation. She's told the doctor on call would get in touch with her. And so finally, at the end of the day, she got the results and was told the nodule was nothing to worry about.
Starting point is 00:25:24 It was stable. It had been there. And she was glad, and she celebrated. And she said, I prefer not to, you know, be sick. and she was glad she didn't get the results immediately because it put her in touch with an inner knowing, I'll be okay no matter what. I'm not just a body.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Someday this body won't go on and I will still be okay. And she said, I like being reminded of that periodically. So there is something very powerful, this happiness that it's sometimes called happy for no reason, that doesn't have anything to do with things going, our way on a personal level, there's a sense of if we can know our belonging, if we can feel some meaning, some connection, some love with life, with earth, with others, with spirit, then we have the space to allow this life to unfold as it is and to serve and be part of the
Starting point is 00:26:31 whole. So let's, we'll just do a brief reflection on this, if you will, to really talking about how our actions in the world, what in the Buddhist tradition is called reverence for life, our way of serving the world, can really deepen our sense of belonging and meaning and inner freedom. So let this pause be kind of an invitation to arrive and feel your breath and feel your breath at your heart.
Starting point is 00:27:13 So if you're breathing in and just letting your heart be touched by the breath, and breathing out and feeling out. feeling your heart open, relax open, letting go. And in the space of presence, too, sense one person that you know that is having a difficult time, one person that you would like to feel that you can help in some way, that you can serve. And let this person be right here with you
Starting point is 00:28:20 so that as you, you might even feel with your breath, and this is part of a compassion practice, Tonglin, that you could breathe in and let yourself feel and be touched by whatever the difficulty is that that person's going through. As if you're inside, their being, looking through their eyes, feeling with their heart, breathing in and letting yourself be touched.
Starting point is 00:28:42 And that with the out breath, just sending out care, letting whatever suffering they're in be held in a very large, large space of awareness with the out breath. You might sense, What is life like for this person? What's really difficult?
Starting point is 00:29:19 What is this person afraid of, feeling hurt by? And in the deepest way, what is this person most need? As if you could still feel this person as part of your heart, also sense that you can offer to this person in some way, energetically or with touch or with words, something that will nourish, comfort, and help. It may be simply saying, I sense your suffering and I care. I care about your suffering.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Or as Ticknat Han says, Darling, I care about the suffering. It might be that you imagine holding that person in your arms or touching them on the cheek in some way letting them know your love. And as you do, as you offer something, sense this person receiving it. Imagine their response.
Starting point is 00:31:17 And then just as an investigation, just sense who you are when you're serving, reaching out, offering love and care to another. What's your sense of your own being? So this is one, when we say serve and savor, on the Bodhisattva path, which is Bodhi is an awakening and satfa being. The serving is not coming out of,
Starting point is 00:32:09 I am going to help you. It's not a separating kind of experience. It's not, doesn't have pity. it's serving because you and I are of the same nature that we all experience this vulnerability and that by offering care we are coming home to that vastness of caring presence and it's freeing.
Starting point is 00:32:35 And when they put electrodes on monks and check out what happens when they are sending out care, feeling suffering and sending out care, actually it's not a depressing thing. It's not like their systems, you know, wash through with some sort of a real deep kind of sinking feeling. Rather, the parts of the brain that light up actually have happiness to them. Not I'm happy or suffering, but a sense of openness and light and expansiveness rather than self-centeredness and darkness.
Starting point is 00:33:10 So serving wakes us up to our wholeness. and so does taking in. You know, some years ago, a friend of mine who worked in some sort of an institution that really provided care for those who were severely disabled described working there, and it was a very good institution. I mean, it was very sensitive in many ways.
Starting point is 00:33:36 But he had a shock. He was one day, he was sitting next to one of the patients and the patient looked at him in the eye and he said, you're the sick ones. And the guy, what? And the patient said it again, because you're the sick ones. We know how to take in love. You don't.
Starting point is 00:33:56 And he actually reflected on it and realized that you can get roll-locked in being the helper. And that, you know, he started asking the question of himself and others, how many of us really, you know, people will hear people say, I love you, but how many of us in a visceral way let that in? You might ask yourself that. You know, how much in your friendships or family, whatever, do you really, in a very heart way, feel that wash and that deliciousness of feeling, ah, this being cares about me? There's more and more again studies showing that this capacity to feel loved is an in, intrinsic part of well-being.
Starting point is 00:34:51 As this brain has evolved, it's not just giving out care. It's actually taking in care. It's just like taking in food. Can we take in and metabolize and digest food? Can we do it with love? One of my favorite stories, a certain Bektashi dervish, was respected for his piety and appearance of virtue.
Starting point is 00:35:13 And whenever anyone asked him how he'd become so holy, he answered, I know what is in the Quran. And so one day he had just given this reply to an inquire in the coffee house when some real kind of some newcomer kind of arrogant said, okay, what gives? What's in the Quran? You know? And this is his response. He said, in the Quran are two pressed flowers
Starting point is 00:35:39 and a letter from my friend Abdullah. One of the meanings of the word metta, which is for loving kindness, is friendliness. it's this being in this swim this breathing in and out of a real care and gentleness that brings things alive for us giving and receiving so our next little reflection as you might imagine is going to be on this just to again take take a moment to sense what's true for you in this and as you come into stillness just feel your breath and sense the receiving of the breath so as you breathe in as if a balloon is opening to receive just open to receive and sense the breath coming to your cells coming to the spaces between the cells and letting the breath out
Starting point is 00:36:48 or releasing and letting go that brings special attention to the in-breath this is sometimes called prana a life force in a Sanskrit can you just receive this basic subtle life energy that is moment to moment nourishing this living being. Feel like you're receiving love when you're receiving the breath. Like that delicious. You might sense light, aliveness, warmth, gentleness, that you're receiving love as you're receiving the breath. And you're letting it wash through you and bathe every part of your being.
Starting point is 00:37:46 And the out breath is just releasing, letting go, and then opening to receive again. You may continue to feel the breath as you bring to mind someone who you trust cares about you. Now for some of us we might feel like we're not sure we trust anybody really cares, but come as close as you can and see that person's eyes and face and how they look when they are communicating in some way appreciation and care. And just as you did with the breath, see if energetically, you can really let that care in. Let it wash through you. Feel how that person's heart space is including you.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Feel that you can dissolve a little, let go of the edges some into belonging. You might experiment and bring someone else to mind that, you know, appreciates you. See that person's eyes communicating care, their face, their share, their shape, their share. smile. And again, see if there's that receptivity and if not, then just to be mindful. Okay, so there's some defendedness, some fear of our mistrust, but let mindfulness include that. It's useful to know it. It's the beginning of releasing the defendedness is to see it. We don't usually pay attention to this. Can you let in this person's love? For some you might explore bringing to mind a Buddha or Bodhisatt of compassion, Jesus, Mary, a figure that perhaps
Starting point is 00:40:26 is an embodiment of love and compassion, the Dalai Lama, somebody that expresses that very unconditional loving and imagine and sense that person looking at you, communicating care. Can you let it in? And gently coming back to simply feeling the breath and feeling this earth's atmosphere, imagining this spring, feeling that life itself is nourishing, embracing, supporting you,
Starting point is 00:41:22 moment to moment, belonging to this life. I'd like to explore with you, but to say that you can cultivate your capacity to savor by purposely pausing. And when something is lovely or beautiful or pleasant, our wondrous, like the moon that we've been seeing these last few nights or this amazing spring,
Starting point is 00:42:04 stop and intentionally recognize, ah, lovely, pause, savor. It makes a difference. So I've been describing these three clusters that we have done the inner training sum of the metter, loving kindness, the gratitude. we begin to express more and more serving and savoring.
Starting point is 00:42:26 What happens is it deepens our wisdom, our attitude towards life, an attitude that really in a very profound way can reflect well-being. Because ultimately, the teaching is it doesn't matter what's happening. It's how we're relating to it. If your well-being is hitched to life going a certain way, your memory working a certain way, your body being in a certain state, your partner acting a certain way, that's going to be conditional happiness. If you want the happiness of what's called Sukha, happiness for no reason, it's going to come down to an attitude.
Starting point is 00:43:07 And for a lot of us, we have to have life happen to us and kind of do some letting go to discover that, oh, I'm happy anyway. And that's actually been very much my own experience in the last three years in particular, that for a very long time, my spikes in happiness were always hitched to being outdoors and being really physical and getting endorphin highs and merging with nature in the midst of those highs. And piece by piece, because of going through all sorts of physical sickness, the things that I did that really were my main lines to feeling really charged up and good, I couldn't do. I mean, I could not bike anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Biking was out of the way. I couldn't ski. I couldn't hike up hills. I can't do that now. So I would have thought that my happiness level would go down, but I've been amazed to find that it's gone up. So that rather than, let's say, you know, you might imagine, you know, You can bike in Switzerland and go up and down all the hills and do all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:18 But if your mind is in some way caught up in this thing of I'm going to push myself or comparing myself to others or in some way there's relationship tensions that enter, it doesn't matter what you're doing. You're going to always be in that place. The happy set point will keep you. What I found for myself is that as things got taken away, what mattered was the quality, of presence I had and what I had left I could do. And so even the days, sometimes days I can't even walk on the river,
Starting point is 00:44:53 all I can do is walk around our property, around the edge of the woods. But I go very slowly and I pause. And if the presence, if that kind of inner silence, that space is awake, it's just as exquisite, it's just as sacred, as if I had hiked up and down the ten hells and God in my endorphine, going and then sat and been buzzed, it's just as good. And so I'm sharing that because we can lose it all, and presence is here. And so maybe a final story to share with you tonight that I've always loved is
Starting point is 00:45:34 Ichdach Perlman, whose famous concert at the Lincoln Center, New York City, many of you know, he was stricken with polio as a child. And so he would, each time he'd perform, he'd walk very slowly and painfully across the stage and he'd set himself in a chair and put his crutches on the floor. And it would be a whole kind of ritual that the audience would know and sit kind of reverently as he went through it. Well, this time he picked up his instrument and something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars on the violin, one of the strings brinked. broke and you could hear it snap. It went off like gunfire in the room. So I'm reading now. We figured that he would have to get up and put on his clasps again and pick up the crutches
Starting point is 00:46:25 and get another violin, but he didn't. Instead he waited a moment, closed his eyes, and then signaled for the conductor to begin again. The orchestra began and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it's impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that and you know that, but that night, Perlman refused to know that. You could see him modulating, changing, recomposing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounds like he was detuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before. When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered.
Starting point is 00:47:14 There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, and raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said, not boastfully, but in a quiet pensive reverent tone, you know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make
Starting point is 00:47:38 with what you have left. Isn't that really the whole path? that we're on, that we know it's all changing, it's creating and dissolving, and that we can't hold on to anything. So the freedom comes as we start resting in a larger and larger sense of beingness, that we're not hitched to the small self having to have things a certain way, but rather we're beginning to get more and more familiar with the sense of belonging, that we belong, that we belong to each other and we belong to this living magical earth and we belong to awareness to spirit and when you know and trust you belong to the ocean you're not afraid of the waves you're not
Starting point is 00:48:39 that belonging gives room for whatever is happening whatever's here so we'll close tonight simple pause belonging to the moment, if you will. The freedom from this trance, the freedom to experience our well-being begins with this pause where we start belonging to the life that's right here. Just to feel this breath. Feel your intention to be right here,
Starting point is 00:49:28 tender, open, present. Let your senses be awake, aware of the sounds, aware of the sensations that are here, so that you're belonging to the aliveness that's right in this moment-to-moment experience, belonging to the tenderness of heart that's here, and belonging to this vast inner space of presence that's aware of all that's arising and passing.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Closing with a poem from Mary Oliver, she says, oh, to love what is lovely and will not last. Oh, to love what is lovely and will not last. What a task to ask of anything or anyone. Yet it is ours, and not by the century or the year, but by the hours. One fall day I heard above me and above the sting of the wind a sound, I did not know when my look shot upward. It was a flock of snow geese, winging,
Starting point is 00:51:11 It faster than the ones we usually see, and being the color of snow catching the sun, so they were in part at least golden. I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time when something wonderful has touched us. The geese flew on. I've never seen them again. Maybe I will someday somewhere. Maybe I won't. It doesn't matter. What matters is that when I saw them, I saw them as through the veil, secretly, joyfully, clearly.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Namaste. The talk you just listened to has been freely offered. If you'd like to make a donation, learn more about my schedule, or about programs offered by the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, please visit either my website, which is tarabrock.com, our IMC. website, which is IMCW.org. Thank you very much.

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