Tara Brach - Part 2 - Realizing True Well-being
Episode Date: April 20, 20112011-04-20 - Part 2 -- Realizing True Well-being - Buddhist psychology and the Western oriented field of positive psychology agree: How we pay attention determines whether we live primarily in fear an...d judgment, or happiness and peace. This two part series explores the teachings, practices and attitudes that enable us to live a meaningful life with a heart that is "happy for no reason." Please support this podcast by donating at www.tarabrach.com or www.imcw.org. Your donation makes a difference! Thank you!
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A woman in our Sangha recently shared a story with me, a friend of hers, had asked her to sense this.
She said, what would it feel like to think that something good was going to happen rather than something not so good or even something bad?
So she asked her, what would it be like to just think about that, that something good is about to happen?
And so this woman, friend of ours, thought about it, and the response was, it would feel totally weird and uncomfortable.
And her friend's response was, good, now try it.
So how about we all try that for a moment?
Just a sense in your life, this is in your life, what's it like when you reflect on the possibility that something very good is going to be?
to be happening. Just notice, be mindful. What's it like when there's that reflection?
Something good is going to happen. You can continue to explore that. But just to say that
our normal habit is to fixate on something not so good happening. It does feel weird and
uncomfortable for many of our nervous systems or body minds. We are so used to tensing
Do you know what I mean?
Tensing against what's around the corner?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what we've been doing in this last class and what we'll be doing tonight is exploring what happens when we,
instead of our habitual way of something's wrong or something's missing,
we very intentionally open our psyches and our hearts to what's,
sometimes called the infinite field of possibility.
That any moment, right now,
there's an infinite possibility of what can arise and experience.
From joy and freedom to getting completely stuck.
But any moment, it's all there.
It's like this fertile void that's creating this universe over and over again,
moment by moment.
And what determines our experience is the,
way we incline our mind.
What's the habit of thoughts and feelings?
Do we incline our mind towards a kind of grimness?
Or is there a sense of, don't know, but open to what might happen, you know?
Okay.
Now, I brought up last week what is to me this very, you know, it's a wonderful current in Western
psychology called Positive Psychology that many, many people.
are familiar with.
And positive psychology is basically saying for too long,
the attention in psychology has been focused just on a kind of disease model
and that we forget that it's possible to cultivate a sense of real well-being.
It's really possible.
And some of the criteria is well-being on a very,
what you might call a familiar level,
which is positive emotions, feeling good, feelings of accomplishment.
But positive psychology also points to a much more evolved kind of state of well-being,
where we have a profound sense of meaning that comes from realizing our belonging to each other and to our world.
A very evolved sense of what's possible and sense of really coming home to a sense of fullness and wholeness.
And so that's where the intersection is with spiritual paths, with the wisdom traditions, the Buddhist being one of them.
In Buddhist psychology, the invitation is, if you come and practice and pay attention to your experience,
it is possible to experience profound peace and joy and freedom.
So the Buddha set this up, he kind of gave a very, I think, elegant framing with the four noble truths,
which started by saying that every one of us incarnates, these body minds have a kind of innate duca,
which is a dissatisfaction and uneasiness.
And the uneasiness is like saying we're stressed.
I mean, life is stressful because it's impermanent and changing,
and there is a natural tendency in this organism
to go, don't like it when it's unpleasant
and want more of this and feel unsafe about that
and grasp after it.
That's just the tendency.
And that's the first noble truth that this Dukha exists.
It's the conditioning of our organism.
And the second noble truth is that when we play it out,
when we get identified with, I have to have,
have it this way and I don't want it that way, we suffer.
The third noble truth is, but freedom is possible.
We don't have to live inside of that small self-identity.
And then the fourth noble truth is kind of saying, here's how.
Here's how we discover that freedom, that well-being, that's really the evolved end
of positive psychology, that real liberation.
And in the fourth noble truth, the fourth noble truth has been described as the eightfold path,
there are three basic clusters that the Buddha described as what allows us to live in fullness.
And I'm going to kind of explore these clusters in this class.
One of the clusters is described as samadhi, which is that we learn to pay attention,
moment to moment to what's happening right here.
Samadhi includes a concentration that helps to quiet the mind and the mindfulness that opens us.
The second of those clusters is that when we do that, there's a kind of wisdom or attitude or understanding that we tap into.
We start seeing that there's no peace if we're chasing after things and wanting them different.
We start seeing it keeps changing, so go with the flow.
And we see that when we have a sincere intention to wake up, to be present, we start coming home to a sense of wholeness.
Okay, so cluster number one, learn to pay attention.
Cluster number two is the wisdom and understanding that comes from it.
The third cluster, and we're going to spend more time on the third cluster tonight,
is that from that understanding, our actions in the world become compassionate.
wisdom wise.
So the teaching is that for us to experience full well-being, we end up in this virtuous
cycle of these three clusters.
We learn to pay attention inwardly.
We start waking up our understanding and we start living from that.
And we can't leave out that third piece.
That are ways of speaking with each other, our ways of engaging in the world, are ways of
taking in the world are all essential to feeling the wholeness of who we are.
So those are the three clusters that we will go through.
And as I mentioned, they feed each other in a kind of virtuous cycle.
Now, an interesting reflection to sense whether you're in a virtuous cycle of paying attention,
kind of waking up to things and living out of that,
are whether you're in, and I don't like the word unvirtuous,
but a kind of trance cycle, I'm going to give you a little reflection.
Okay.
And that is just to sense, okay, this week,
you're going to look at this week,
and you're first going to just sense, well, what most matters to me?
Like if I have to look at my life at the end of my life, looking back,
what do I most want to know that I've experienced in my life?
what do I most want to touch?
What most matters and how I live my life?
So we begin to sense, okay, it matters to me, perhaps,
that I am present or kind with others.
It might matter to me that I really live the moments
or that I touch some peace, that I'm not always on my way somewhere else.
We might have these different things that we say,
oh, this is what matters.
And then we look at our week and we say, well, how much did what matters converge with how I spent my moments this week?
Did the way I spend my moments serve what mattered?
Okay.
Now, this is a reflection that helps us sense, are we in a virtuous cycle of awakening to well-being?
or are we in a trance cycle, we're kind of repeating patterns that keep us really from our wholeness.
That's just an inquiry.
Some people find it helpful, some don't.
Is there a mesh between what matters and how I spend my time?
It's kind of basic, right?
Okay, so we'll look at the trance cycle first that I mentioned the three clusters,
how we're paying attention, what we're realizing, and how we're acting.
right? In a trance cycle
we kind of know how it is that rather than
a mindful presence, what's happening?
We're spinning. We're bicycling away from the moment
with a busy mind, right?
And our mind is either planning or worrying
most of the time.
And the attitude inside is in some way
that this self is threatened,
it's got to do something more, something's
not okay, and then the actions.
There's criticalness
usually. There's kind of sometimes careless
There's certainly a speediness, not much arriving, which then feeds a non-meditative attention.
We get busier.
And you see how the cycle goes?
So we can see it in particular situations that we might have a lot of intertension.
We might have this busy mind that's kind of fixating on, I need something to satisfy me or soothe me.
And then we'll fixate on either taking in too much food or checking things off the list for many of us.
And I certainly, this is one of mine, every time I check off something, my nervous system relax some for about 30 seconds.
So sometimes it's that.
Sometimes it's accumulating.
Some of you might remember, this is Reader Rudner.
She says, someday I want to be rich.
Some people get so rich they lose respect for humanity.
That's how rich I want to be.
So we, you know, this is the trance cycle, again, that what happens, we chase after money
or we chase after accomplishments, checking things off the list, or we kind of try to
soothe ourself, and then what happens?
That activity then creates a kind of inner state where we end up feeling bad about ourselves
and then playing it out some more, right?
Or we might see it that our internal state,
our non-meditative state,
is that we're having a fight with ourselves
about how we're aging.
You know, for many of us,
there's a feeling of being kind of at war
with the insults of aging,
what's happening to the way we look,
or for many people the way we think.
You know how it is with your memory when it goes?
You're trying to get a word, and the more anxious or uptight you get like it's gone.
And then what happens when you relax?
It counts, right.
But most of the time, we're at war with what's going on,
so the very thing we want, we're kind of chasing away.
And I did hear a story of two elderly couples were enjoying a kind of friendly conversation,
and the one, the hostess was in the kitchen,
the host was kind of entertaining this other couple.
and he was telling them how he said you know I went to this memory clinic and it was fantastic
and the guests said you did well and the guy says well what was the name of the clinic
freeze you know so so he because you know they taught us all the latest psychological techniques
visualization association but the name okay wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute and then he then he got
an idea and smile broke off over his face he said okay what do you call that flower with the
long stem and thorns.
And you mean rose?
Yes, that's it.
Rose, Rose, what was name of that clinic?
So we use our tricks, you know.
So this trance cycle is basically something most of us are familiar with.
We get into a state of mind.
That state of mind makes us feel worse about ourselves.
We act out of it, which then makes us recycle.
Okay.
Now there's that line I have shown.
shared with you that I find so useful, which is that neurons that fire together, wire together.
The more we think certain thoughts, the more our mind is inclined to those thoughts and then the
feelings that they bring up, and we get caught. And what happens, if you think of it, well, what do you
most regularly think about? What is the biochemistry that's become your set point?
You know? That's what I mean by the trance cycle. It just keeps looping. And we know how Gandhi put it.
He described that, you know, our beliefs create our thoughts and our thoughts create our moods and our moods create our actions.
And then our actions create our character. Our character creates our destiny.
So the big inquiry, really, for most of us is about waking up.
Way Wu-Wai, who I think is wonderful, says, why are you unhappy?
Because 99% of what you do is for yourself.
And there isn't one.
Interestingly, if you look at what's called positive emotions,
our positive emotions arise when we are not fixating on self.
Think about it.
Gratitude, joy, happiness.
It's not like we're ruminating about what's going to help me.
How can I get more?
What's wrong with it?
There's more of an openness.
there's an outflow.
You can think of this positive cycle
that wakes us up out of trance
in evolutionary terms,
that when we're in a trance cycle,
there's a fixation on an endangered sense of self.
And what's activated is our limbic system,
the more primitive parts of our brain, right?
So we're living from those emotions,
the fight-flight emotions
and the thoughts that actually keep on
activating limic system.
When we move into a well-being cycle,
we're actually activating the more recently evolved parts of the brain,
the social brain that is responsible,
the circuitry that's responsible for a kind of empathy
and intuition and sensitivity.
We're waking up the parts of the frontal cortex
that are able to go metaccharacterial,
cognitive that are able to recognize thinking but not be caught in it.
We're waking up consciousness. So science has confirmed what the mystics
describe, which is the science puts it in terms of neuroplasticity. It doesn't
have to be our destiny that we stay in the same set of thoughts and the same
swamp of worry, anxiety, depression. We don't have to stay in that.
We can actually recognize it and train our attention in a way that wakes us up.
So we're going to look at how we do that.
And last class, we explored the trainings in metta or loving kindness and gratitude.
And tonight we actually did a meta meditation.
What are we doing with the meta?
You know, there's a kind of beauty to it that we're simply directing our attention.
attention to goodness.
It's not a Pollyanna thing.
It's almost like because we're so conditioned to fixate on what's wrong, we are intentionally
widening our way of noticing and bringing our attention to the beauty and the mystery
and the sweetness and what we can feel astonishment and wonder about.
So META does it with each other.
the gratitude practice, what do you love?
What do you appreciate?
I shared in the last, our last time here,
that there's so much research that shows
that if you just each day spend a little time
reflecting, okay, so what really do I appreciate?
It gladdens the heart in a way
that can change your biochemistry,
change your set point.
It works.
So these are the inner trainings.
Remember I mentioned the three clumps.
This is the samadhi and the mindfulness.
This is the inner trainings.
Then we explore, well, how do we have our outward expression?
Our way of moving through the day in some way help to evolve us,
help to awaken our hearts and minds, help to bring us to well-being.
And I've always loved a line from E.B. White.
He says, I wake up each morning torn between the desire to serve and the desire to savor.
Those are two good options, aren't they?
So if we look at those two, and the reason I like those two is it really speaks to being engaged in our world in a way that's serving.
It's like breathing out.
It's like offering out.
but also engage in a way that takes in,
that lets us be touched.
Okay, savoring.
So start with serving,
and you might remember Albert Schweitzer who said,
the only ones among you who will be truly happy
are those who have sought and found how to serve.
And it's not some moralistic injunction that you should serve.
Why does it make us happy?
What is it when we are with someone
and in some way our touch or our words comforts them?
What is it that makes us feel so good?
Or when we are involved with a project
and we realize, oh, this is helping people.
This is bringing more ease to people's minds or more happiness.
Are we just smile at somebody on the street or in the elevator
and you can feel that in some way that,
shifted something. What is it that makes us feel good? And I often say it's marbled because in some
way we're all on a, you know, a kind of a project, a good self project, you know, it makes us feel
better about who we are in some way. But I think there's something deeper, which is that when we
serve, we come home to, we're inhabiting more the truth of who we really are, which is
in relatedness that we belong.
We're serving because we're serving the wholeness of what we are, the unfolding to wholeness.
So serving gives us meaning in some way.
And I want to share with you a story that I found really powerful.
The woman is Jan Adrian, who's a, she founded healing journeys, which is healing and support for those touched by cancer.
And she, oh, maybe a year or so ago, blogged something.
And she said that she had a chest x-ray done because they were trying to see if the cancer had metastasized to her lungs.
And the doctor called and said there was a nodule that on the lung.
And so she's going to have to have a CT scan.
So this is serious business.
She goes in on Wednesday to get the CT scan.
And it's told the results, as often they say, will be ready the next day.
the next day comes and her anxiety is over the top.
I mean, she can't concentrate.
She felt like crying all day.
And she's ruminating.
What if the cancer is metastasized?
And on some level, she feels like, you know,
everything I've done, all the exercise and all the ways I've been thinking and feeling,
you know, and eating everything, it was all a big waste.
And she felt like she just would not have the energy to handle another round.
So she calls the doctor's office twice, and she's promised that I'll call back, and he doesn't.
Thursday night, she starts reading and meditating, and then she remembers her prayer, which is,
make me an instrument, use me.
So that's been her prayer, make me an instrument, use me.
And then there's this, she has this kind of flash, which is, what if having cancer again was the way
I could be most useful as an inspiration to others.
And again, this has been part of her life work,
so this is a very real thing.
What if this is just part of it?
And then she writes,
it's more important to me that my life be meaningful
rather than easy
to include whatever arises as part of the package,
not bad or good,
but trust that all things work together for good.
In other words, whatever's going on is a part of it.
It's meant to be.
So she said that that reflection gave her some peace and calm.
And the next day, Friday, she calls the office,
and it turns out her doctor had left for a two-week vacation.
She's told the doctor on call would get in touch with her.
And so finally, at the end of the day, she got the results
and was told the nodule was nothing to worry about.
It was stable.
It had been there.
And she was glad, and she celebrated.
And she said, I prefer not to, you know, be sick.
and she was glad she didn't get the results immediately
because it put her in touch with an inner knowing,
I'll be okay no matter what.
I'm not just a body.
Someday this body won't go on and I will still be okay.
And she said, I like being reminded of that periodically.
So there is something very powerful,
this happiness that it's sometimes called happy for no reason,
that doesn't have anything to do with things going,
our way on a personal level, there's a sense of if we can know our belonging, if we can feel
some meaning, some connection, some love with life, with earth, with others, with spirit,
then we have the space to allow this life to unfold as it is and to serve and be part of the
whole. So let's, we'll just do a brief reflection on this, if you will, to really
talking about how our actions in the world,
what in the Buddhist tradition is called reverence for life,
our way of serving the world,
can really deepen our sense of belonging and meaning
and inner freedom.
So let this pause be kind of an invitation to arrive
and feel your breath and feel your breath at your heart.
So if you're breathing in and just letting your heart be touched by the breath,
and breathing out and feeling out.
feeling your heart open, relax open, letting go.
And in the space of presence, too,
sense one person that you know that is having a difficult time,
one person that you would like to feel
that you can help in some way, that you can serve.
And let this person be right here with you
so that as you, you might even feel with your breath,
and this is part of a compassion practice, Tonglin,
that you could breathe in and let yourself feel
and be touched by whatever the difficulty is
that that person's going through.
As if you're inside, their being,
looking through their eyes, feeling with their heart,
breathing in and letting yourself be touched.
And that with the out breath,
just sending out care,
letting whatever suffering they're in be held
in a very large, large space of awareness
with the out breath.
You might sense,
What is life like for this person?
What's really difficult?
What is this person afraid of, feeling hurt by?
And in the deepest way, what is this person most need?
As if you could still feel this person as part of your heart,
also sense that you can offer to this person in some way,
energetically or with touch or with words,
something that will nourish, comfort, and help.
It may be simply saying, I sense your suffering and I care.
I care about your suffering.
Or as Ticknat Han says,
Darling, I care about the suffering.
It might be that you imagine holding that person in your arms
or touching them on the cheek
in some way letting them know your love.
And as you do, as you offer something,
sense this person receiving it.
Imagine their response.
And then just as an investigation,
just sense who you are when you're serving,
reaching out, offering love and care to another.
What's your sense of your own being?
So this is one, when we say serve and savor,
on the Bodhisattva path,
which is Bodhi is an awakening and satfa being.
The serving is not coming out of,
I am going to help you.
It's not a separating kind of experience.
It's not, doesn't have pity.
it's serving because you and I are of the same nature
that we all experience this vulnerability
and that by offering care
we are coming home to that vastness of caring presence
and it's freeing.
And when they put electrodes on monks
and check out what happens
when they are sending out care,
feeling suffering and sending out care,
actually it's not a depressing thing.
It's not like their systems, you know, wash through with some sort of a real deep kind of sinking feeling.
Rather, the parts of the brain that light up actually have happiness to them.
Not I'm happy or suffering, but a sense of openness and light and expansiveness rather than self-centeredness and darkness.
So serving wakes us up to our wholeness.
and so does taking in.
You know, some years ago, a friend of mine
who worked in some sort of an institution
that really provided care for those
who were severely disabled
described working there, and it was a very good institution.
I mean, it was very sensitive in many ways.
But he had a shock.
He was one day, he was sitting next to one of the patients
and the patient looked at him in the eye
and he said, you're the sick ones.
And the guy, what?
And the patient said it again, because you're the sick ones.
We know how to take in love.
You don't.
And he actually reflected on it and realized that you can get roll-locked in being the helper.
And that, you know, he started asking the question of himself and others,
how many of us really, you know, people will hear people say,
I love you, but how many of us in a visceral way let that in? You might ask yourself that.
You know, how much in your friendships or family, whatever, do you really, in a very heart way,
feel that wash and that deliciousness of feeling, ah, this being cares about me? There's more and more
again studies showing that this capacity to feel loved is an in,
intrinsic part of well-being.
As this brain has evolved,
it's not just giving out care. It's actually taking
in care. It's just like taking in food.
Can we take in and metabolize and digest food?
Can we do it with love?
One of my favorite stories, a certain
Bektashi dervish, was respected
for his piety and appearance of virtue.
And whenever anyone asked him how he'd become so holy,
he answered, I know what is in the Quran.
And so one day he had just given this reply to an inquire in the coffee house
when some real kind of some newcomer kind of arrogant said,
okay, what gives? What's in the Quran?
You know?
And this is his response.
He said, in the Quran are two pressed flowers
and a letter from my friend Abdullah.
One of the meanings of the word metta,
which is for loving kindness, is friendliness.
it's this being in this swim this breathing in and out of a real care and gentleness that brings things alive for us giving and receiving
so our next little reflection as you might imagine is going to be on this just to again take take a moment to sense what's true for you in this
and as you come into stillness just feel your breath and sense the receiving of the breath so as you
breathe in as if a balloon is opening to receive just open to receive and sense the breath
coming to your cells coming to the spaces between the cells and letting the breath out
or releasing and letting go that brings special attention to the in-breath this is sometimes
called prana a life force in a Sanskrit can you just receive this basic
subtle life energy that is moment to moment nourishing this living being.
Feel like you're receiving love when you're receiving the breath.
Like that delicious.
You might sense light, aliveness, warmth, gentleness, that you're receiving love as you're
receiving the breath.
And you're letting it wash through you and bathe every part of your being.
And the out breath is just releasing, letting go, and then opening to receive again.
You may continue to feel the breath as you bring to mind someone who you trust cares about you.
Now for some of us we might feel like we're not sure we trust anybody really cares,
but come as close as you can and see that person's eyes and face
and how they look when they are communicating in some way appreciation and care.
And just as you did with the breath, see if energetically, you can really let that care in.
Let it wash through you.
Feel how that person's heart space is including you.
Feel that you can dissolve a little, let go of the edges some into belonging.
You might experiment and bring someone else to mind that, you know, appreciates you.
See that person's eyes communicating care, their face, their share, their shape, their share.
smile. And again, see if there's that receptivity and if not, then just to be mindful.
Okay, so there's some defendedness, some fear of our mistrust, but let mindfulness include that.
It's useful to know it. It's the beginning of releasing the defendedness is to see it.
We don't usually pay attention to this. Can you let in this person's love? For some you might
explore bringing to mind a Buddha or Bodhisatt of compassion, Jesus, Mary, a figure that perhaps
is an embodiment of love and compassion, the Dalai Lama, somebody that expresses that
very unconditional loving and imagine and sense that person looking at you, communicating care.
Can you let it in?
And gently coming back to simply feeling the breath
and feeling this earth's atmosphere,
imagining this spring,
feeling that life itself is nourishing,
embracing, supporting you,
moment to moment, belonging to this life.
I'd like to explore with you,
but to say that you can cultivate your capacity to savor
by purposely pausing.
And when something is lovely or beautiful
or pleasant, our wondrous,
like the moon that we've been seeing
these last few nights or this amazing spring,
stop and intentionally recognize,
ah, lovely, pause, savor.
It makes a difference.
So I've been describing these three clusters
that we have done the inner training sum
of the metter, loving kindness,
the gratitude.
we begin to express more and more serving and savoring.
What happens is it deepens our wisdom, our attitude towards life,
an attitude that really in a very profound way can reflect well-being.
Because ultimately, the teaching is it doesn't matter what's happening.
It's how we're relating to it.
If your well-being is hitched to life going a certain way,
your memory working a certain way, your body being in a certain state, your partner acting a certain way,
that's going to be conditional happiness.
If you want the happiness of what's called Sukha, happiness for no reason, it's going to come down to an attitude.
And for a lot of us, we have to have life happen to us and kind of do some letting go to discover that, oh, I'm happy anyway.
And that's actually been very much my own experience in the last three years in particular,
that for a very long time, my spikes in happiness were always hitched to being outdoors
and being really physical and getting endorphin highs and merging with nature in the midst of those highs.
And piece by piece, because of going through all sorts of physical sickness,
the things that I did that really were my main lines to feeling really charged up and good,
I couldn't do.
I mean, I could not bike anymore.
Biking was out of the way.
I couldn't ski.
I couldn't hike up hills.
I can't do that now.
So I would have thought that my happiness level would go down,
but I've been amazed to find that it's gone up.
So that rather than, let's say, you know, you might imagine, you know,
You can bike in Switzerland and go up and down all the hills and do all this stuff.
But if your mind is in some way caught up in this thing of I'm going to push myself
or comparing myself to others or in some way there's relationship tensions that enter,
it doesn't matter what you're doing.
You're going to always be in that place.
The happy set point will keep you.
What I found for myself is that as things got taken away, what mattered was the quality,
of presence I had and what I had left I could do.
And so even the days, sometimes days I can't even walk on the river,
all I can do is walk around our property, around the edge of the woods.
But I go very slowly and I pause.
And if the presence, if that kind of inner silence, that space is awake,
it's just as exquisite, it's just as sacred,
as if I had hiked up and down the ten hells and God in my endorphine,
going and then sat and been buzzed, it's just as good.
And so I'm sharing that because we can lose it all, and presence is here.
And so maybe a final story to share with you tonight that I've always loved is
Ichdach Perlman, whose famous concert at the Lincoln Center, New York City, many of you know,
he was stricken with polio as a child.
And so he would, each time he'd perform, he'd walk very slowly and painfully across the stage and he'd set himself in a chair and put his crutches on the floor.
And it would be a whole kind of ritual that the audience would know and sit kind of reverently as he went through it.
Well, this time he picked up his instrument and something went wrong.
Just as he finished the first few bars on the violin, one of the strings brinked.
broke and you could hear it snap. It went off like gunfire in the room. So I'm reading now.
We figured that he would have to get up and put on his clasps again and pick up the crutches
and get another violin, but he didn't. Instead he waited a moment, closed his eyes, and then
signaled for the conductor to begin again. The orchestra began and he played from where he had
left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard
before. Of course, anyone knows that it's impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings.
I know that and you know that, but that night, Perlman refused to know that. You could see
him modulating, changing, recomposing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounds like he was
detuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before. When he finished,
there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered.
There was an extraordinary outburst of applause
from every corner of the auditorium.
He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow,
and raised his bow to quiet us,
and then he said, not boastfully,
but in a quiet pensive reverent tone,
you know, sometimes it is the artist's task
to find out how much music you can still make
with what you have left.
Isn't that really the whole path?
that we're on, that we know it's all changing, it's creating and dissolving, and that we can't
hold on to anything. So the freedom comes as we start resting in a larger and larger sense of
beingness, that we're not hitched to the small self having to have things a certain way, but rather
we're beginning to get more and more familiar with the sense of belonging, that we belong, that we
belong to each other and we belong to this living magical earth and we belong to awareness to spirit
and when you know and trust you belong to the ocean you're not afraid of the waves you're not
that belonging gives room for whatever is happening whatever's here so we'll close tonight
simple pause belonging to the moment, if you will.
The freedom from this trance,
the freedom to experience our well-being
begins with this pause where we start
belonging to the life that's right here.
Just to feel this breath.
Feel your intention to be right here,
tender, open, present.
Let your senses be awake,
aware of the sounds, aware of the sensations that are here,
so that you're belonging to the aliveness that's right
in this moment-to-moment experience,
belonging to the tenderness of heart that's here,
and belonging to this vast inner space of presence
that's aware of all that's arising and passing.
Closing with a poem from Mary Oliver,
she says, oh, to love what is lovely and will not last.
Oh, to love what is lovely and will not last.
What a task to ask of anything or anyone.
Yet it is ours, and not by the century or the year, but by the hours.
One fall day I heard above me and above the sting of the wind a sound,
I did not know when my look shot upward.
It was a flock of snow geese, winging,
It faster than the ones we usually see, and being the color of snow catching the sun, so they were in part at least golden.
I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time when something wonderful has touched us.
The geese flew on.
I've never seen them again.
Maybe I will someday somewhere.
Maybe I won't.
It doesn't matter.
What matters is that when I saw them, I saw them as through the veil, secretly, joyfully, clearly.
Namaste.
The talk you just listened to has been freely offered.
If you'd like to make a donation, learn more about my schedule, or about programs offered by the Insight Meditation Community of Washington,
please visit either my website, which is tarabrock.com, our IMC.
website, which is IMCW.org. Thank you very much.
