Tara Brach - Questions, Guided Meditation and Group Sharings

Episode Date: February 8, 2012

2012-02-08 - Questions, Guided Meditation and Group Sharings - Led by Tara. Please support this podcast by donating at www.tarabrach.com or www.imcw.org. Your donation makes a difference! Thank you!

For those that are new in particular to say that tonight's very unusual, it's probably been about six months or so since we've done what we're doing tonight, which is instead of a Dharma talk, which is a talk about the path and the practice, it's open to whatever questions might be in the room, whatever inquiry you might have about your practice and bringing your practice into daily life. It's particularly nice for me because for those that hear regularly, you know there's all these lights coming down on me and I look around. I can barely see anybody. Now tonight I really get to see you. So I feel more part of things, which I really like. And I'm very interested in hearing whatever you might have as a question.

And I know it's a little scary sometimes too because we're going to be asking you to step up and come to a mic and so on. But just trust that when you... whatever you ask, and I've seen this so many times, it's of benefit to other people. If you're wondering it, other people are wondering it too. So if you will, in terms of protocol, say your name, and just whatever's on your mind, we'll keep it somewhat succinct,

not to go into a lot of background and personal story, because that won't get us as clearly to really exploring what's most alive for you. Okay? Part of the practice on these nights is, to explore a mindful listening, what it's like to listen to others and listen to the dialogue and keep checking in and sensing your own response or reactivity or what's going on for you. It can become an interesting practice.

Okay, so anybody willing to begin to come up for, aha, thank you. I want to say thank you so much, Tara. My teacher told me about this group, and this is my second time here. My name is Bobby. So basically, I'm in the process of changing, letting go with some friends who are really false friends. And it's kind of hard. It's like I'm attached to certain people,

and I know that it's not good for me to spend time with them because together we lead each other into bad directions. It's hard. So I don't know. I don't know what the question in there. is. Let me make sure I heard you. First of all, I want to really honor that you're here for the second time and you had the

courage to come up with a question. So a big bow to you and for everyone feels the same thing. That's very cool. And what I'm hearing, and let me see if I got it right, is that there's something shifting in your sense of who you are that makes it so you're getting that it's not so healthy to choose to spend time in the same ways and with the same people. Exactly. And it's hard to let go.

go. So there's because there's some attachment there also. Can you say what it is that makes it most hard? What's the thing that you most don't want to let go of or most afraid of or most want to hang on to? So I'm thinking of two friends in particular. These are guys that are, you know, humorous, smart. We have a good time. And, well, whatever. Smoking weed is not good for me. Yeah. And these friends in particular, one of the things we do is get high together. In addition to talk about the practice and all those other good things. But over a couple of years, it's like, no, I can't hang out with them.

That's it. Okay. So first of all, again, this is so real. I love it. I mean, because, you know, a lot of. of people would tell me the same thing privately, but again, I think it is so cool that you can say out loud, it's so in the culture, and, you know, some people can get away with doing some things. Others know it's getting in the way. So the first thing, I just want to encourage you,

even if it's hard, and even if you don't extricate yourself so quickly, even if you do it more slowly, to honor that you have a really sincere intention, that you're on the right track to forgive that you might not be able to pull it off as cleanly and quickly as you want to because how many of us know the right thing the way we really should eat or exercise or what we shouldn't do and do not stay aligned right to it most of us right you're all there right yeah okay nodding heads so what i found is that if we then get on our own case it actually makes it worse. There's a way to have your intention be really clear and strong and still be forgiving to the extent that you don't immediately hop to. So just to explore that possibility of having

both there and also seeing if sometimes it's really hard to let go of one thing unless there's something else that's really nourishing and to see what can fill it that feels engaging and creative and fun and alive and so on. So my teacher recommended that I I come here and make some new friends. Okay. There you go. Well, so are you available after we're done to talk to people and exchange email addresses? Okay.

Thank you. Bless you. Yeah. Very cool. Anybody else ready? Yeah, good. Thank you. My name is Karen, and I actually just have basic questions.

Sure. I'm totally due to meditation. I'm sorry. I have a cold. But two questions. First of all, I'm confused on one. you're supposed to do about your breathing, whether you should be trying to just breathe naturally or do diaphragmatic breathing or what have you. And the second thing I'm confused about is

when you're not bringing your attention back to your breath and you're not sort of floating with your thoughts, what are you supposed to be thinking about if it's not nothing? And is it okay? I mean, are you supposed to be like, or when you say like, you know, have a smiling heart, Are you supposed to be imaging your heart smiling? That's, yeah, it's just basic. No, it's actually, it's really good because what you'll find, and this is true here and in a lot of places, you're going to be given a lot of different techniques. In a way, it's a bit of a grab bag because I'm kind of, I know that for some people,

it's very helpful to do a lot of relaxation through their bodies, and for other it's really good to listen to sounds. And so I put out a lot of different possible ways. the goal is a kind of presence that you're actually, instead of in the trance of thinking, you're actually, your senses are awake. And do you know what I mean when I say that? You're hearing the real sounds that are right here, and you're feeling your body's aliveness, you're aware of your breath perhaps, you're aware of what mood's going on, but you're not lost in a story. So that's the goal, and there are thousands of pathways into that,

presence. Okay? So the most basic way to describe it is that there's a whole mess of techniques and then there's this kind of non-doing presence where you're just aware. And so what I'll offer you is a lot of the different most well-known pathways into that presence. And at times I'll just say, no, just try to rest and just be right here and just notice what's happening. And then there's nothing to land. There's no ground really. You're just kind of floating in this awareness. us. But now for your question about the breath. First of all, background, it'll be very helpful for you to listen to the four introductory podcasts. You'll find that you'll do that and you'll kind of know the basic sequence. And this is for any of you that haven't gotten some of the, you know,

kind of classical instructions. That's going to be really helpful. Just listen to the beginner series. Also, the How to Meditate brochure, and it's also on the website. It's for free. It's online. That will also give you the basics. The breath is one of the best tools for coming into presence, and you don't have to control it at all. I mean, there's all sorts of practices where you do special control breathing. But in this one, you're letting the breath be natural, and you're just letting the attention rest lightly with it. And you find wherever it's easiest to pay attention to it. Okay, like some people's right at the nose and some people's chest. Pay attention where it's easiest and just keep relaxing with the breath. And it's a very

powerful way of collecting you here. So you're not all scattered, you know, thinking this and thinking that. And then when the mind goes off, you just relax back and you kind of come back and rest with the breath. That's one of the most simple, basic practices to help you quiet down. Can you ask a quick follow-up question? Yeah, yeah. Is sort of one of the goals to stay in that where you're present and you're noticing bodily sensations and sounds in the room and to try to stay in that and then when you stray to bring yourself back to that for as long as you can? Exactly. So you said it really, you've really got it.

That just to recognize that's more the real experience than any thought you have about anything. Okay. Okay. Thank you. There are other times that it's useful to do wise contemplation, like using your thoughts. It's not that thoughts are bad. there's we're so rarely quiet enough to sense the gap between the thoughts we're and only when you're in the gap between the thoughts can you directly contact love if love is an idea you're not

really embodying it right so it's in these this teaches you to have access to love to creativity to real wisdom because you can see nature as it is you're not obscured by your ideas yeah you got it I think. Yeah, thank you very much for speaking up. Yeah. Hey there. Hi, I'm Debbie. Hey, Debbie. And fairly new to your program, so thank you, Tara. One of the reasons why I've been coming lately is because I have had to change my life and my approach to living because I had some significant health challenges.

So what I wanted to ask, how, I guess, just, you know, opening myself even more by coming forth to healing through meditation. Okay. So let me ask you a question. When you say healing, do you mean healing of what the physically? Okay. So it's that level of healing you're looking for right now. Right. And one thing that I've learned through this process is, well, I guess taking in from, Chinese medicine that I was, well, what I learned from my acupuncturist was, you know, some of the like negative energy affected my body in a really not a good way, that it manifested itself in a certain way, which Western medicine has taken care of. But now that bad energy got into my physical being. So I'm trying to protect my, my, my, my, my,

being and that's why I come to meditation and I just want to open myself up to you know more do you have a sense of how meditation can help you in that way you know in some ways I think I'm still kind of new you know and I'm also you know but I'm really eager right now you know because I want to like just funnel it in okay now now is actually the best word on it one because the more you're now the more you're actually here like truly here like we can all just take a moment to pause because really just to really get here again that there's there's a boundless healing that's possible way beyond physical healing when we start learning how to be in the center of now so that our

heart is truly without an armor so our mind isn't locked into the kind of thoughts that stir up fight flight and energy that's not good for us. And so that on the most subtle level, that presence can really sense just what's happening here. And that's where the healing comes from. For you, Devi, it will be learning to notice the thoughts that you can tell intuitively, tighten your body,

and cause trouble. And this is true for all of us. We all have patterns of thinking that are absolutely correlate to physical tightness, to blocks in the heart, and to physical disease. So that's a very true correlation. And I've seen many, many people, when they can begin to notice those thoughts,

you're not going to live them out. You're not going to stay inside them. So just to notice them, bow to them, it's not like you are trying to vanquish them. It's like just saying, okay, I see you, but I don't have to believe you. Can you sense that? I see this thought, but I don't have to believe it.

So it may be a thought of what's going to go wrong in the future that's tensing you up or a thought about what you should be doing differently. It's going to tense you up. You don't have to believe it. You look questioning, so go ahead. I do. Okay. Two things.

One of the things that I've been observing, I've been really sensitive to when I have too much thought, it hurts my head, you know, as opposed to listening to my heart. and what's going on. And so what I'm hearing is observing some of the thoughts. A friend of mine, she once said something like, there are many stories that can play through our head and the ones that we choose to believe that make the difference. So let me just keep it simple, okay?

Because you'll find that if you get too much into analyzing, it'll actually be more thinking. So if you make your practice simple right now, hon, And it's really, you know that you want to wake up out of thought so that you're living in a larger living reality, not caught in the habitual thoughts. Just keep saying, come back, come back right here, and then bring a tremendous kindness to whatever you experience right here. And everything else will unfold from that. Okay? Okay.

Yeah, and thank you. Yeah. Hi, I'm Randall. Hi. So I relatively new to this. And what I keep hearing and sort of experiencing is a lot of the discussion is about how you can be present, how you can be patient, how you can understand and be with your own fears and concerns. But that sounds like it sometimes could be the palliative and not actually get you to act. So how does meditation help you not deal with the pain or fear you may have, but the actual issues that are causing that?

Could everybody hear that? It's a really important question. So what Randall is saying is that a lot of the emphasis is on be with what's here, be with the pain, be with the fear, bringing loving kindness to it. But how does that help you to act in your life in a way that's wise and helpful and intelligent and compassionate? Yeah. That was a little more eloquent than the way I said it. Got across the idea just fine. So my experience is that the more.

I know how to come here and disentangle from blaming thoughts and judging thoughts and the more I am aware of what emotion and what's going on in me, the more I can sense what's actually going on in you. That empathy is actually cultivated through being able to pay attention to our inner life. And when I am empathetic and I am aware of what's around me, my actions are naturally more spontaneously kind and intelligent. So it's like saying the attention you pay with meditation creates the atmosphere and groundwork for wise action in the world. It's what's behind it.

It's what enables it. And I've often been asked that to do with acceptance because we talk a lot about acceptance. Okay, so this person's acting that way and it brings up this in me. Okay, can I accept right now that this is going on? And it doesn't mean you're accepting that that person's acting in a harmful way. It means that you're accepting that this is your experience in this moment. I feel violated.

I feel hurt. I feel angry. Whatever. If you can really bring an acceptance and a kindness and a presence to what you're feeling, out of that presence, there will be the courage to set the boundaries or to express the truths or to take the actions you need. And it'll come in a way that's not react to. that continues the cycles of violence.

And this feels like the most important thing that we can remember, that if we don't pause and come into a meditative presence, our reactions to others are in the same tone, the same gear. They just continue the patterns that play out in this world. So these practices actually give us a chance to break patterns, to act, but act on a different scale in a way that's really helpful. So I hope that begins to address what you're... Is there something specific you're thinking of that you really don't see the connection between what...

Well, I guess one example... And put your... Sorry, yeah. One example is just a relationship I have with a family member that's not been good for a long time. And I do feel like we have some of those reactive elements, but I try to be calmer or et cetera. But it still doesn't change it. You know, the fact that I might meditate and I might act. in a responsive way and I try doesn't necessarily change that relationship.

Does it change your experience of it? And maybe slightly in the sense that, you know, I am maybe less hurt by it. But, again, that feels like it's a response to something which should be changed in some way. But what the assumption is there's an expectation that something should be different. Some things we, you know, we could say this should be a different weather system right now. This person should act differently. can't control that. What we can do is bring as much clarity and presence and intelligence and creativity that we can bring to it. And then we have to let go and just let the ripples be as they may.

At worst, the other person stays locked in their pattern, but you have more inner freedom and you've actually strengthened that so that you bring that somewhere else where it can actually flower even more. But the expectation that it then creates a change, you're better off than if you were just locked into the same old reactivity. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, I'm Kristen.

I'll just pick right up where he left off. Yeah, come as close as you can. I actually wasn't going to get up, but then he really hit a note for me because I had this situation just yesterday where I intellectually understand everything that you just said. And it all makes sense to me, but when I'm in the moment in front of this family member,

it is like that and I can't talk myself down so I'm thinking of in that moment when I'm like that are there techniques that I could without taking a break to go meditate with a candle and all that stuff can I are there things that I can do in the moment while she's in front of me just so I can you know because I can feel myself it's a great question tell me your name again Kristen Kristen so you all hear this question when we get into those places where we are triggered This is a question about when we're triggered and we're in the process of reacting in a way we wish we wouldn't. In the situation, what can we do? In the situation, there's both what you can do in the situation and what you can do preparing for the situation,

and they're both really important. Just the way you might build your muscles once a week at the gym, but then if you have to go use them somewhere, that's in action. You need to build the muscles for responding wisely as well as. doing the in the moment stuff in the moment there may be something you can say to yourself that is helpful that's a reminder in the moment you might say to yourself just relax your hands right now and it's amazing that if you can just relax your hands or you might say to yourself pause for four seconds before you say anything just one two three four you know it's like there's little things that break and interrupt the routines those are helpful but there's a

preparation when you're not in the situation that I think's really useful. I'd like to see how many of you, is this something that's alive for you, that you'd really, when you get caught in reactivity, okay, let's do, let's do a very brief guided meditation. And I want to give you a sample of the way you can prepare, okay? I suspect there's not one of us that doesn't have a situation in our life that triggers us to react in a way we wish we wouldn't. So I'm given that the beginning of this guided meditation, and it's one by the way that I try to do in as many workshops as I can because the more you do it, the better. It's not a been there, done that meditation. Let this be a pause, right, this moment, and re-invite yourself.

Just as if you're starting completely fresh, this is the first moment, just contacting the alive. feeling your breath, feeling your heart, just scanning your life and let come to mind a situation you'd like to have more presence in that you'd like to be more resourceful in, where you act in the past you've acted in ways you regret it, some recurrent situation that's easy for you to identify, that in some way brings out anger or hurt or fear, and guilt, shame, and then you in some way behave, you withdraw, you lash out, defensive, whatever it is. It's as if you're watching a movie right now, just let that situation unfold, take some moments to really sense where it's taking place and the other players involved,

until you get to the frame of the movie where you're most emotionally stuck or reactive and freeze it. Don't play out what you might do. Just freeze it there when you get there so you can investigate a little. This freezing of the frame, this is the sacred pause. This is where we usually can't do it in real life but you can in your contemplative moment right now.

just let yourself feel in the thick of it and what it's like so that you really experience fully what's happening inside you. In that moment with the family member or your partner or somebody, it's a colleague or boss or whatever it is, what are you believing? What are you believing about how that person is relating to you or about what's going on that's most painful or difficult. What's the worst part of this situation for you? I'd sense what the strongest feeling is inside you. Is it dislike or anger, inadequacy, fear? So you really get a sense of what's going on inside you in that moment, more presence inside

the situation than usual perhaps. Now continue the pause. and imagine that you could step away, that you could instantly be transported to a kind of peaceful, safe place where there's nothing threatening going on. Just transport yourself and just take a few breaths and sense that in a few moments out of this space that's non-threatening, that's safe,

you're about to meet a being who's very wise, very compassionate. Just imagine that. Somebody now is appearing. And it could be anyone that you would sense has compassion or wisdom. That's just

the one you're encountering right now. Could be Gandhi or Kwanyan, the Bodhisattva of Compassions. Could be a real person, Dalai Lama. It could be the Buddha or Mother Mary, Jesus.

Could be someone you know personally. Grandmother. child. It could be your dog. So you have a sense who's here. It could be more formless and that's fine too. But that this being wants to help you and it's going to take over for a while by just inhabiting your body. So his or her energy is just going to and consciousness is just entering you right now and you're the invisible witness. So now this this being's consciousness is inside you and first notice what that's like. How do you experience in your body

having this compassionate, wise being living here in you. Just notice the changes, your body, your heart, your mind. Okay, now you're going to be transported back into the situation and this being is going to take over. And just notice how he or she uses your body and your voice and so on, but how this being responds, how this consciousness responds. And you might notice first what, the intention of this being is in dealing with the situation. What's the outcome this consciousness

is trying to go for? What's important? What outcomes wanted? Sense the sincerity and depth of that intention from the perspective of this wise-awake being. And through the eyes and heart of this being, what is this being perceived about the others involved? Seeing past the mask, what's going on for the others? Is there vulnerability perceived behind the mask? What is she or he say or do? How does this being respond to the situation? Noticing what happens as the witness.

And when you're finished, just go back to where you found that being and you can switch so that you're fully here, feeling your breath and your body, and the being is still around you, still there. And listen, because here she's going to whisper in your ear some words of advice, something you can remember, some message it'll be valuable for you when you're back in those circumstances to remember.

So just listen. You might imagine the days and months to come when the situation arises that you can pause even if it's for a very short time. And in some way remember what matters. remember that you have access to the wisdom of your heart so when you're ready opening your eyes please so now let me ask you some questions and you don't have to come to the mic for this I'll repeat what you say but speak loudly who came who showed up let's hear a little bit about who was in the room so just raise your hand I'll point you

who showed up yep your grandfather lovely that's very good yeah Who else? Yeah. Your father. Yeah. Your first psychiatrist. Hey, cool. Glad to have that in the room. Yeah. Who else? Yeah. The Dalai Lama. I'm glad he was here too. Yeah. A light energy. So it was more formless for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that happens for me also. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. An older, wiser version of you. How many found that you had a version of you there that just felt? Yeah. So that happens because, yeah. Yeah, beautiful.

So the sense of your own self, with the blessings of all the beings that are wise and compassion, that you embodied it. Yeah, lovely, lovely. Yeah. Hmm, your mother. Thank you for that. Yeah, that's lovely.

Thank you, your mother. So who else? Yeah, let's hear from a few other people. Anybody up in the balcony? Anybody come? Yeah, seven-year-old daughter, thank you. The embodiment of compassion, like Kuan Yin or one of the bodhisattvas kind of thing? Beautiful.

So just kind of a figure of compassion. Beautiful, lovely. Yeah. Yeah, in the back over there. A red fox. A red fox. All right. Let's hear it for the animal kingdom.

So a lot of beings of wisdom here in River Road Unitarian Church in Bethes. So that's lovely. So let me ask another question. How did it feel in your body when that wise being came in? What did you notice in your physical body? Yeah. So there's a feeling of shifting and sitting much straighter and stronger. Beautiful. Just a few words and just say it loudly. Yeah. So when that entered you, it was kind of relaxing, kind of relaxing back in a way. Yeah, lovely. Very cool. Yeah. A release. Released. So there's some tightness. Something released.

beautiful yeah yeah I'm sorry self-assurance there's some quality of self-assurance that's lovely word yeah nice health held oh beautiful so you felt held and yeah nice anyone else yeah love so you felt the love fill you very nice okay yeah lightness how of you noticed that a kind of lightness yeah yeah that happens to me too yeah yeah yes yes when we're stressed and this is this is a universal when we're stressed our vision gets narrower our tension gets fixated we get tighter and like that when we begin to relax open there's actually a real expansiveness of our sensitivity so that's very physicalized that's very good yeah yeah and the back that'll be the last one calmer calmness lovely so what was the intention in the situation that you

contacted like what did that wise compassion of being what was the intention if you can just say in a few words i mean if it's more than a few words go to a mic but it'd be very interesting to hear a few of you just share what intention you noticed for dealing with the situation yeah they're trying to understand their perspective. How many had something like that that you wanted to see beautiful seeking to understand that's nine-tenths of the way there good yeah were you going to say something concern for the other person so it little instead of such a self-focused it was like okay so what's going on for you beautiful yeah support support support for me so in some way to give support but yeah.

Giving love instead of trying to solve, did you say? Lovely. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Letting go. Okay. So there's a sense in that situation of rather than holding on to being a certain way,

letting go, creating some space there. Nice. Yeah. So let me ask you a question. So when you encountered some wise, compassionate being, you felt a little bit of a conflict because you were waiting for something, but not really getting the answer. Now, in this practice, and by the way,

I love it when somebody said, well, you know, I didn't quite work so nice and neat for me because of course it does. You know, this is a guided practice that for some people can really open up a lot. And others, they actually encounter something that really needs attention and it brings something else to pay attention to.

So it's not like there's one nice, happy, tied up in bows and ribbons ending. If you think they're supposed to be, then you're going to end up, there's like hundreds of these guided meditations, you're going to end up thinking you did it wrong or that something's wrong with the meditation. So I really appreciate a different kind of voice. So thank you. This is to me a life practice where we, in some way, sense, we call on wisdom and compassion.

Now, we might think we're calling on our grandfather or our father or the Dalai Lama or whatever. we're using some embodiment to come home to where that wisdom and compassion lives in our own being. Does that make sense? So this is a bridge. It's a useful bridge because when we're stuck, we're kind of separated from that sense of our own resourcefulness. So you're using where you know it is in the world to reconnect you, to carry you back into your own awakened heart and mind. And for some people, as soon as you even said, well, okay, a compassionate,

wise being, it actually appeared to be your own being. So the bridge can happen very quickly, because I think you brought that up. But sometimes not only does, there, somebody appears, but there's not a sense that we're really going to let that being in body or inhabit our being. And for you, it was still this other out there. The next step is to sense, well, what would it be like if that compassion, I was actually feeling with that heart myself. And I, I was looking through the eyes. So flip it so that that beings inside you because otherwise your own doubts and fears are going to create a static. Does that make sense? So the next step is to play with it and sense, okay, I'm looking through the eyes and it could be for you,

it might be through my own highest self, not to set up a duality, but just say I'm looking through the eyes of my own wisdom and I'm looking and I'm feeling with the heart that's the most awake heart that can exist right here and then sense from that perspective what can I learn

and just play and see so thank you yeah question is empathy and compassion if you feel you have a heart full of that and in my family

primary family that I was, you know, part of. I was subtly trained to be hypervigilant because of circumstances. And I went into a service-providing field of working with parents and families. Then there's boundaries so you don't soak in everybody's feelings. You know, I've worked on that a long time. So it sort of plays with what we were doing to then where your pores are wide open and you get to a point in your life where you're feeling other people's feelings boundaries can you address that with the meditation yes so there are different degrees of maturity and compassion there is the beginning of compassion where you have a sense of empathy or relatedness to what other people feel but if there's fear if it's vigilant if you're having to take the role all the

time as the one to take care of, that means there's some sort of a twist or a twerk or something that's unresolved about the compassion. So it's not really free-flowing and as wise as it could be. In the Tibetan tradition, they call it sometimes idiot compassion, where you have no boundaries and it's not like appropriate situationally. And so in those cases where the sensitivity came out of a fearful past. where you had to be highly aware of what was going on for everyone around you and take care of everybody so that you were either accepted or safe. In those situations, the compassion needs for quite a while

to be very much focused on your own healing. Like, what does this heart need? And maybe it needs boundaries more. Maybe it needs safety. Maybe it needs distance from certain people. Maybe it needs not to do service that is actually grounded in self-protection more than it is in a real flow of wanting to give.

So turn the compassion inward first, and it may be for a few years even, that there's some healing work in that way. And then you'll find that the compassion's much more of a wise kind of compassion. Does that resonate for you? Yeah, thank you for bringing that in. Yeah.

I wanted just to follow up on this young lady's, when she said she was really strong emotion, and she didn't have an answer. And when we did the exercise and I brought someone, it wasn't quite enough so I brought someone else. And then all of a sudden the shift became, I'm not alone.

I didn't have the answer where it's really pissed off. Really pissed off. But it became more about, I'm not alone. Like, I'm not alone. And that, there was some good energy. How is that not an answer? I didn't have the answer and it was okay I was like I'm not alone in this

but you came to your place it's like being here it was kind of cool so sometimes that is the message like that if you can just remember you're not alone immediately the sense of the

fear and the boundary that keeps others out starts softening and you feel here again yeah So I'm aware that it's five to nine and I'd be just because I want to be able to close with a little bit of meta practice with you But I'd love to hear from a few people what your message was what you learned if you felt like you had one and again if you didn't just know that that's an invitation to keep paying attention Yeah be clear. Thank you. Yeah

It's not about me. That's great Yeah. Yeah. It's not over. Yeah. Yeah. You're already safe. Beautiful.

Yes, in the back over there. It's not that serious. It's not that serious. That's really good. To not be so grim. Yeah. Yes. Could you all hear that one?

My relationship with this person is worth more than trying to change them. Ah, if we could always remember that. Thank you. Yeah. Ah, watch the stories you believe and tell yourself they may not be true. Yeah. Yeah, Femi. Laugh?

Yeah, that can be as good as anything in the world, right? Yeah. Yeah, please. Show up, make room, and listen. By the way, each one, as you're saying this, it's good transmission. because if you it's like we're if we can remember each others it's good too yeah you're i'm sorry your daughter your daughters are benefiting from this so remembering how it ripples out what's yeah yeah i need to learn to be myself to reveal i need to learn to be myself this is good to be understood

by this person i need to reveal myself better because how often is it that we want something to be different and out of anger we try to make it different but then they don't see the vulnerability and the truth of who's there so they can't respond with compassion they just defend against our anger that's beautiful thank you yeah forgive them they know not who they are what they do and neither do you it's like i'm not okay you're not okay and it's okay well i want to thank you all because this is we're going to stop because it's time but This is great. You've all been great teachers on this stuff. So let me ask you how many of you actually like once in a while, maybe once every month or once every two months having this format instead of a straight Dharma talk? And I see by so many like having a bit of the questions and exploring maybe an exercise or something. That's helpful feedback because I love it. I love to hear from you and hear what you're learning and what's challenging because it takes. teaches me. So I thank you, really. I'm very grateful, especially those of you that were so new

and were willing to jump right in. Please know that even though you're new, you're very much a part of our community here. So let's just take a few moments in closing. Meta, our loving kindness, one of the most beautiful translations of the word is friendliness. Just to invite you to explore what that means. if you could imagine a really pure friendliness towards your inner experience right this moment so that however it is there's a quality of interest and care and acceptance that your relationship with yourself is worth more than trying to change yourself right now you can be with you might sense from that friendliness whatever wish you'd like to offer for yourself right now opening up your attention to sense the field that's here,

just the feeling tone of the field, the goodwill, the kindred spirits, that we're all wanting to be more honest, more open-hearted, more awake. And just sense what happens when we come together with those intentions. Just the warmth of a spirit here. And sense your wish for others here, holding all of us in your heart, sensing our shared

heart, the space of hearts. It's really boundless that we belong to this field of care that really is edgeless that includes all beings everywhere. So we close tonight with a very simple prayer that all beings everywhere might be filled with loving presence. I might feel held in loving presence. Might accept

themselves as they are deeply forgiving, deeply kind. It all beings everywhere awake and to see the truth of what is, to see the truth of their own nature, to live from that truth, live from that wholeness,

live from that radiance of heart and spirit. And I wish that all beings everywhere awaken and be free. Namaste and blessings to each. Thank you. The talk you just listened to has been freely offered. If you'd like to make a donation, learn more about my schedule or about programs offered by the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, please visit either my website, which is tarabrock.com, our IMCW site, which is IMCW.org. Thank you very much.