Tara Brach - Reflection: Pausing and Deepening Attention in the Face of Attachment

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

Reflection: Pausing and Deepening Attention in the Face of Attachment - In this short reflection, we explore how we can bring mindfulness and self-compassion to the habits of obsessing, over-consuming and hurting ourselves and others that keep us from true happiness, connectedness and peace. Listen to the full talk, "The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Working with Attachments and Addictions," at www.tarabrach.com - July 29, 2015. Join Tara's email community to receive exclusive updates, events, and meditations. - Get a free download of Tara's 10 min meditation: "Mindful Breathing: Finding Calm and Ease," - plus a bonus gift: "8 Essential Tips to Nourish Your Meditation Practice."

The following reflection is led by Tara Brock. To access more of my meditations or reflections or to join my email list, please visit tarabrock.com. This is a template for you to explore pausing and deepening attention in the face of an attachment. So let your eyes close and sense if you know already, maybe you do, maybe you don't, some area that you feel that you're hooked, some area of attachment that you kind of can tell keeps you from being as spontaneous, as relaxed, as really trusting yourself and living from your potential. And it might be something in relationships where you are hooked on getting

approval or hooked on being in control, being the best. Might be something at work where you're really looking for fame or attention. It might be something. to do with substances, to do with accumulating more money, more possessions. It might be something to do with your appearance. Could be the overt behaviors like gambling or shopping or sex, where there's obsessiveness around. Choosing one area and see if you can focus on a situation that illustrates that attachment that lets you know you're hooked.

And for the sake of exploring and investigating, you might exaggerate so that you really feel into the situation how it is to really want what you're wanting, how much it matters to you, whether it's the wanting to be in control or the wanting for approval or whether it's a wanting for chocolate, whatever it is. What's it like when you're wanting? And as a wanting to an experiment right now. Let your body actually take the position of wanting. Like, play with it a little. You might find your leaning forward, maybe your fist tighten, let your face's expression be. What is it when you're really wanting something to be a certain way? And it's not okay if it's not that way. So give yourself permission to really inhabit that. Find out what

it's like. You might feel where the wanting is most in your body. Is there a tightening in the throat or chest or maybe the belly? Just feel your wanting self and notice if there's a second arrow, if there's also a part of yourself that's judging your wanting self, whether you don't like your wanting self. Just include that on what you're aware of and sense how that impacts the wanting. Now imagine that you could step away. your wanting self, whatever that experience is here, but you could kind of step away

and you can call on your high self right now. This is really like calling on the wings of wisdom and heart, calling on that in you which sees through clear eyes and has a forgiving and kind heart. So you can look through those eyes at the wanting self. Give yourself a little distance, a little space. So just looking through the eyes of kindness and understanding, what does the wanting part of you really want or need? You know, if you could get that approval or have that ice cream or be in control or have

your body the way you want it, what would you really get? That's what you're really trying to experience through the particular attachment. sometimes you have to ask again, like, well, if I got that, then what would I really be getting? See how deep you can go. Are you away from your star? How are you really wanting to come home? What is it you're really wanting to come home to? For these last few moments, from your highest self, the wings of wisdom and love, how might you communicate to the part of you that's been stuck?

your understanding, your forgiveness, your care, what in this moment will most address the unmet need that's there? And you might experiment also as we often do with touch because that brings a more energetic intimacy in relating to your inner life. Can you communicate the forgiveness, that understanding of okay, this is coming from an unmet need, letting go of all blame. That is a necessary precursor to healing any addiction is to let go of blame. From your highest self, can you let go of blame? Can you offer a very pure care and understanding to the place in you that's been attached and addicted

to the wanting self? And as you offer your presence, and your kindness and your understanding, just sense your own experience of your being right now. Can you sense that star, that light and tenderness right here? Can you sense how this presence heals that whole of the soul, allows you to come home to what's really the source of what you long for? The happiness we seek is available in the moments when there's really no clinging.

There's simply openness and presence and ease. Just feel, as you imagine into the next days and weeks to come, this invitation to let the flag of attachment call you to pause, to deepen your attention and a shift from that outward focus, the substitute gratifications to discovering the presence that's always in a ready here. We'll close with a verse from the Zen poet Riaqon.

Without desire, everything is sufficient. With seeking myriad things are impoverished. Plain vegetables can soothe hunger. A patched robe is enough. to cover this bent old body. Alone I hike with a deer. Cheerfully, I sing with village children. The stream under the cliff cleanses my ears. The pine on the mountaintop fits my heart. Cheerfully, I sing with the village children. The stream under the cliff cleanses my ears. The pine on the mountaintop fits my heart. And thank you for your beautiful attention. Many blessings.