Tara Brach - Relationships - from Reactivity to Rechoosing Love

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

Relationships - from Reactivity to Rechoosing Love - Most of us have habitual ways we create separation from others. This talk takes a look at the roots of our emotional reactivity and ways our meditation practice can foster more loving connection in our lives.  

Greetings. We offer these podcasts freely and your support really makes a difference. To make a donation, please visit tarabrock.com. Greetings, friends. I'm going to be teaching a six-week course on conscious loving. It's a little bit later this month. And as getting ready for it, I was inspired to share the following talk with you. And it's entitled, From Reactivity to Rechusing Love. So that's today's talk. And if after listening, you're interested in joining me for the course, which is a program that's really dear to me, please check the homepage of my website, tarbrock.com.

Okay, thank you. And now for the talk. Namaste and welcome, friends. Today's talk is on relationships, learning to shift from emotional. emotional reactivity to responding from a wise heart. And as part of this, we'll do two experiential practices. But I thought I'd first start with an essay. I'm pretty sure some of you're going to remember, and it's one I really love. If you can start the day without caffeine or pills, if you're cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, if you can resist complaining and boring people

with your troubles, if you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, if you can overlook when people take things out on you when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, if you can take criticism and blame without resentment, if you can face the world without lies or deceit, if you can conquer tension without medical help, if you can relax without liquor, if you can sleep without the aid of drugs, then you are probably a dog. So this is, it's entitled spiritual fitness. And I've always been drawn to it because as a dog person and many of you can relate, you know, our pop, she never reacts. She'll, if we leave her home or and are gone for some hours, she doesn't, you know, blame us. She's excited to see us or she doesn't

carry grudges, you know, even when we're irritated. My dog's now elderly and sometimes peas on my favorite rug. There might be a momentary shrinking back from my disapproval, but, you know, she's just eager to reconnect. And it's just so different from us humans who can't let go of hurts or resentments. And we carry a steady kind of judging mind going all the time. And the more stressed we are, the more emotionally reactive. So there was an NPR poll. a couple of years ago and 84% said Americans were angrier than a generation ago. And last year, Gallup does this annually, did a global emotional report. And they reported that more people were stressed, sad, angry, fearful, lonely than any point in Gallup's tracking. And it's been

going on for some years. Happiness has been trending downhill. So, of course, it's exacerbated by global events by all the hires and insecurities that come up around war, pandemic, you know, the growing awareness of our climate emergency and the continued ongoing racial, social injustice, income inequality. So that all fuels. And on an individual level, emotional suffering, our tendency to be reactive can be caused by, you know, a lack of bonding with caregivers from abuse, from trauma. But here's the thing. Whatever the degree of emotional pain, it plays out in our relationships. It plays out in how we're relating to ourselves and each other. And I've heard so much from many, many people,

about how much they're struggling, ranging from the hugest conflicts to the feelings that I don't have one friend, one real friend. And the common denominator is feelings of separation, of not okayness. So we each have our own patterns of emotional reactivity with others and I'll be inviting you to think about yours, the ones that really were, you get stuck and where you really feel off. Because when it happens, when we're reactive, we lose touch with our hearts. You know, we lose touch with our full awareness and we're living in this kind of fragmented, regressed part of ourselves. And the suffering is we're just disconnected from who we are. We know it. We know it when we calm down and get more centered that we

weren't living from who we really can be. And of course, we're distant. from others. So in this talk, what I want to do is take some time to explore how we can bring the power of our practices of mindfulness and compassion to the ways we create separation habitually in our relationships. And I know for myself, if I imagine being at the end of life looking back, what most matters is loving relatedness. You know, that kind of tenderness, closeness with others. It's our deepest longing for connection and it's really what gives us a sense of sacredness and meaning. So this is a powerful domain to intentionally awaken around the places of separation in a deep way to re-chose love.

And that's the invitation with this exploration to re-chose love. And the beginning place to attend really is to notice, okay, so what are my patterns? What are the patterns that separate me from others? Is it the pattern of aggressing in some way or defending in some way or withdrawing or accommodating. Some of you might be thinking all of the above, you know, but we do have our leanings and you might consider, you know, what's yours? For many people, it's getting judgmental or angry and lashing out, saying things we regret. I think of a story of a woman in a job interview and the interviewer asks, well, tell me what do you think you're big of?

character defect is. And her response is honesty. And he says, honesty, you know, I wouldn't consider that a defect. Applicants reply, I don't care what the hell you think. So we know it when we lose it. There's that anonymous saying, you know, speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. So I think of in our lives much of our regret around him. emotional reactivity is speaking when we're not connected with who we know we can be. Then there's the aggression that comes in the form of controlling and manipulating, trying to get people to do things our way, comes to that sense of wanting to power over. For some people there's a sense of getting easily hurt and feeling victimized and withdrawing.

And then some, out of insecurity, the reactivity is to grasp on to other people, to be dependent on, to have ongoing expectations and demands. That's the focus. For some, it's a pulling away from others because there's so much self-judgment and shame that there's this insecurity, this sense of I'm not able to connect and feel real, it's not safe to show who I am. And on a similar line, many, the reactivity is then to present a false self, you know, to present what we think will appeal. And I often think about, you know, if you consider a recent interaction with somebody, how much of the way you behaved or

what you were expressing or saying was so they would like you are approve of you. Like how much are we shaping each other to get a certain response from others? And that's part of emotional reactivity when we don't feel confident or secure. And then for many there's a lot of anger and negative feelings, but then there's a bearing over, a covering over and trying to act normal. There was a story of a couple who had been married for 60 years and they were very open and they shared everything. It didn't have any secrets except for there was one in a sense because the wife kept a shoebox in the closet and she asked her husband not to ever open it or ask about it and he forgot about the box but then 60 years later his wife got very

sick and doctor said she wouldn't make it so while trying to sort out their affairs, he took the shoebox to her bedside and she agreed, yes, it's time for you to see what's inside. So his eyes widened because he discovered it. There was $95,000 and two crocheted dolls in the box. And then she explained, she said, when we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage is never to argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should keep quiet and just crochet a doll. So the husband was deeply touched. Two dolls meant that she was angry, had him only twice in 60 years. Honey, he said, overcome with emotions. That explains the doll, but what about all the money? Where did that come from? Oh, that, she said, that's the money I made

from selling all the dolls. So it's fun and we know that if we bury anger, we live in deep resentment and it creates huge separation. And a similar way, if we bury our real wants and our needs out of fear that if we show who we are, we're going to be rejected, you know, if we live accommodating others, deep resentment and separation. Okay, so these are some of the patterns that you might have recognized some in yourself.

I certainly can check a whole lot off of that list. And we know that when we're in them, the more we're hijacked, let's say by the fear or the anger or the shame or the hurt, the more we lose contact with our heart and our resources, our intelligence, our empathy, our compassion. They're there. We just don't have access during that limbic hijack. So the patterns, whether it's lashing out or controlling or grasping or withdrawing or pretending, accommodating, they can feel really baked in. I mean, I have conversations with people who say, wow, this is, I've been doing this for so many years. And there's a real suffering with that, that sense of I can't change, you know. And that's a deep belief. And it keeps fueling actually

the behavior. And we have other deep beliefs that fuel it like I'm fundamentally flawed or unlovable. And so the patterns can get really baked in. But the truth is this. that the brain has neuroplasticity. Whatever patterns are there, we can change them. It takes practice, but they can be shifted. So I want to pause here and do the first of our practices. And hopefully you're in a place where you can just take some moments to find a good position to be in, if you like closing your eyes, to close your eyes or lower your gaze and bring your attention inside and scan your life a bit and sense some recurring situation where you react in ways you regret, where you get that one of those familiar reactive patterns gets triggered,

that distances that you wish you could respond differently. It might be with a child or parent, partner, friend, work colleague, not something where you get traumatized, but something where you just, it triggers something and you know, you get angry or you shut down in some way. So bring one of those situations to mind, like a real situation perhaps that happened recently and watch it like you're watching a movie, you know, let actually... sense yourself watching that situation unfold until you get right to the frame or the part where you get where you're most emotionally stuck, where you're feeling most reactive. And notice what's happening.

The other person might be saying or the look on their face. Mostly what you're feeling, what it's like when that happens, kind of feel in the thick of it. Maybe what you're believing in those moments. and what you're inclined to say or do, but freeze the frame, just freeze it and pause. And imagine you could step away and imagine that for a bit you can be transported to a peaceful and safe space. You can choose a space in your mind, a place you've been to or haven't been to, but some place

that feels peaceful, safe. You might take a few full breaths. yourself arrive in sacred space and sense that in this space you're about to meet a being who's very wise and very loving. And it could be your own high self, the Bodhisattva or Buddha inside you. Or it could be an external being, you know, Gandhi or Kwanian, Dalai Lama, Mother Mary, Jesus, could be someone you know personally, grandmother, or child, friend. Could be your dog. Just a being that you feel has those qualities of presence and wisdom and love.

And just sense who's here, who wants to appear. And this being wants to help you get back in touch with your own heart. and they're going to do it by taking over for a while, by inhabiting your body and mind and heart and stepping in. So just sense their energy, their clarity and kindness is entering you. And you're an invisible witness right now. And notice how it feels when this being, their energy, their heart fills you. just how your body changes, your heart, your mind. And now this being is reflecting on the situation you've been in and sense the deepest intention and aspiration that comes up. What's the

deepest intention for this situation? What does this wise, loving being wish to unfold? and imagine being transported back into the situation with this being guiding the way, and notice how this being responds. In other words, imagine new possibilities for responding in this situation. When you finish, go to where you found that being back to sacred space and switch so that you're now you, breathing, feeling yourself, inhabiting your body, your heart, your senses. And now listen, this being is going to whisper in your ears' words of advice, some reminder, some message, something important for you to remember.

And you might imagine how in the days and months to come when the situation arises that you can pause and remember, remember what matters, that you can have access to the wisdom of your heart. and this can help you re-chose love. So taking a few moments and taking a few full breaths, perhaps, if your eyes are closed, opening your eyes, you have the potential. It's here.

The wisdom, if you brought to mind some being other than yourself, is inside you. Whatever you're imagining is coming from your own, deep awareness and it can guide you more and more. So you can trust, you have the wisdom, you have the heart to transform relationships. And here's the thing, the patterns are deeply wired. So to have regular access to that wisdom and heart, it takes ongoing practices. But here's the thing.

the patterns and beliefs are deeply wired. So to have regular access to that Buddha within, it takes an ongoing practice, a practice that can bring healing directly to the wounds that are driving the reactivity. There's a story that I love that kind of can guide us in bringing the awareness we need to the wounds, and it takes place many years ago.

Outside a quiet Mountain Village, there was a monk who lived. He was described as a healer of the heart. And his practice was compassion. You know, he offered a very open, loving acceptance of people just as they were. He helped them to hold themselves that way. So people would come to him with great struggles, life conflicts, and with others and so on. And they'd travel many miles to seek refuge. in his gentle and tender presence. But after many decades serving this way, he became exhausted

and dispirited. So he had heard about a great teacher who lived hundreds of miles away and an older woman whose reputation for deep wisdom had spread far and wide. And her key teaching was mindful awareness of what's happening in the moment, you know, how to investigate the reactivity that creates separation, how to attend and awaken the natural clarity of the mind. So he felt the great need for guidance on the path and he decided to walk barefoot across the mountains and valleys that separated them and meet with her. Midway through his travels, he found a shelter in a temple where pilgrims stay and there he encountered an old nun and he shared with her what had motivated his journey. And she was sympathetic with his situation

and the old woman offered to guide him to the residence of the great teacher he sought. And when they arrived at the edge of the bustling village, they were warmly received. The old nun had been none other than the much-loved, wise woman he had been seeking. He stayed, and over the years she taught him how to empower himself and others by inquiring directly into the nature of reality and cultivating deep understanding. and many years later she lay dying, the old nun, beckon the monk to her side.

There's something I never told you. On that day we met, I too had lost my way. I was headed north seeking a great healer I had heard about. And then she smiled and squeezed his hand and peacefully passed away. The story always moves me. There's something quite beautiful about how they entirely needed the teachings that each other was strong in, that to fully awaken and undo reactive patterning, the monk and the nun both needed to cultivate heart and mind, compassion and wisdom.

And this is true for each of us. You know, we need to be able to see clearly the experience of the moment. When there's reactivity, we need to be able to see it clearly to recognize what's happening, to be able to really sense what's going on, and we need to be able to hold it with great compassion. In Buddhism, these qualities of hard and mind are often likened to two wings of a bird and they're inseparable and they're both needed to fly into freedom. And they're needed to heal the deep wounds to keep us reactive. So this is where we'll be exploring now, how we can bring

these two wings of wisdom and compassion directly to the vulnerability and woundedness that keeps us behaving in ways to create separation. So often, as you know, I use the acronym Raine as a way to apply these two qualities of mindfulness and compassion. I'd like to share a story of a couple caught in emotional reactivity where they did this in a way that I found really powerful. So Joshua and Carla, a couple who had been struggling for years, actually. They stayed together, I think mostly due to love of their three children. They both came into relationship with trauma. They both had experienced abuse growing up and they locked into triggering each other.

So there was a lot of hurt and blame and mistrust and they hadn't sought outside help. and they found their way to me to my DC meditation class and both were beginning to meditate. But so the pattern of reactivity I'll tell you about was it circled primarily around parenting and running the household. Carla was anxious, really anxious about the well-being of the children. She was worried about finances and she was very chronically critical about. the way Joshua was parenting, the way he spent money, the way he dealt with bills. And Joshua felt continually hounded by Carla, undermined his relationships with his children.

Basically, I can't do anything right, anything that pleases her. And he would get triggered and aggressive and he'd lose his temper and he'd lash out at her, not physically but emotionally, abusive. and she'd be hurt and intimidated and withdraw and then feel more anxiety, more out of control, more mistrust, and then the judgment would continue. There was a real distance and most attempts at trying to talk or fix anything would devolve into feelings of more hurt and anger and mistrust. So I encourage them to start by practicing separately.

and to practice bringing the reign of self-compassion of what was going on for them. And for those of you who are new to rain, the acronym stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and nurture. Those are the four letters of rain. And we apply them to wherever there's strong emotion. So for Carla, she brought, and we start right where we are, and for her it was anxiety. So she recognized anxiety and the A is allow, which means this is part of what's here. You just let it be. And the anxiety was focused on, you know, about our children, about fear of Josh's aggression. And she contacted a really deep place of unsafe, that life is unsafe.

It's chaotic. It's unsafe. and that in the midst of that I'm in some way unlovable and bad. I mean, that was what she contacted. And it became very clear that the controlling and the judging, all the anxiety was a way, she was trying to protect herself from that deep sense of chaos and unsafety. I encouraged her when she saw that because she had judged herself for her anxiety and judged herself for being judgmental and controlling.

I said, say thank you to it. You know, say thank you because these are the ways that was the best way you knew early on to try to bring some more safety to your life. So she did that and then the nurturing deepened when I invited her to find a way to bring some compassion or care to that deeply vulnerable, anxious, hurting place. And she did it by calling on what I sometimes call the beloved kind of the feminine loving energy in the universe that, you know, call it the mother of the universe and imagined really being held in an embrace that created safety and being cared about. So that was her process because when she did that, something in her felt enlarged, that she had some strength.

that she was more spacious, more open. Okay, so now let me describe Joshua. He brought recognizing and allowing to his anger. Okay, it's here, allow it. And he found under his anger a sense of being hurt, not seen, not understood, not valued, and said he felt a sense of being shamed. And for him, the anger was trying to protect. him from that vulnerability of being shamed and not seen. And so I encouraged him to thank his anger.

Thank you for trying to protect me. It's not the way that is going to most serve ultimately, but that's the intention. And that gave him more space so he could just bring kindness to the parts of him that were hurting. I want to pause here and say this inner work that they were both doing is really central for all of us. There's no shift in how we relate to others until we bring self-kindness to the injury. So I want to say that again, you won't be able to shift your behavior with another unless you tend to the roots, to the hurt. Here's Jeff Foster. The most potent medicine is this ancient commitment to never abandon yourself. to discover wholeness in the whole mess, to be a loving mother to your insides, to hold the broken

bits in open awareness to illuminate the sore places with the light of love. So friends, I'm emphasizing this as the first step in rechosing love. If you have someone in mind, I'm going to invite you to practice a bit with someone where you feel some separation that's created by emotional reactivity, the first step in rechewing love is this kindness to yourself. And I know in my own life that if I'm in emotional reactivity, I can't see the other person clearly. I first have to hold whatever's going on in me with tender presence. I have to appreciate that my reactivities in some way I'm trying to protect myself or meet my needs and just hold that kindly. There are so many studies that

when we're hijacked by emotional reactivity, empathy goes, perspective goes towards ourselves and others. So the beginning of coming back to wholeness is this mindful self-compassion with ourselves. Then we're able to take the next step. which is looking to see a larger truth about the other person. You know, look through the eyes of kindness at the other. I often quote Ruby Sales who says that question, where does it hurt? Like if you bring to mind the other who's part of the emotional reactivity with you, if it's a dance like that, where are they hurting? I sometimes use the description of, you know, Imagine finding a dog under a tree and you go to pet it and it lurches at you, you know,

really angry and fierce and you get angry and upset at it, but then you realize that it's got a paw and a trap. And then you shift because if you can see where it hurts, you're not angry anymore. Now, you still might need to create boundaries and protect yourself, but your heart changes. And this is the beginning of real transformation, that shift in the heart. So we look at each other and say, where does it hurt? And that's what Josh and Carla were able to start doing. They did see a therapist after doing rain on their own and who held a space for them so they could each share the vulnerability they had contacted, then attend, listen to the other.

And Josh got to really understand how Carla was living in this feeling of deep unsafety of chaos and that anxiety was her way, controlling was her way of trying to make a safe world. And Carla got to really get under Josh's anger and see the deep pain behind that of not feeling seen or valued, of feeling shamed. And it took many, many months. But Carla told me and when she did she had tears that there was enough of a shift that they were consciously recommitting. They wanted to heal together. They were rechusing love. It takes patience to re-chews love. You know, our patterns of self-protection set in really early. So let me just say a few key reminders that will help if you have in mind in your life right now and I hope you do

places where you want to bring that consciousness to a relationship. That first, when the situations arise, pause if you can. Pause, pause as much as you can. If you can take a time out, take a time out. There's a relationship researcher, very well-known Gottlieb, who describes a study he did with couples where he would have them come in and he'd kind of wire them up so he could track their stress levels and so on. And he'd have them begin to talk to each other about difficult situation. But as soon as he saw they were getting triggered, he'd stop them and say,

hmm, the equipment's not working right. We're going to have to take a short break while we fix it. And they'd each go to separate little rooms and then come back, I think 10, 15 minutes later and resume. And he found out that when he did that, they were much more able to find their way to resolution, to listen, to be open. They were no longer in a hijack, which shuts us down. I think that's so powerful that there's such an ancient wisdom to timeouts. And if you not only take a timeout to pause, but during that timeout, practice rain. practice bringing mindfulness and compassion to what's going on inside you, there's a far greater

chance. This is the work of neuroplasticity that you can shift the patterning. So that's one, take those times out, pause. Second is forgive yourself regularly. Forgive yourself regularly. You know, we all feel ashamed about the ways we get hooked. And that shame actually fuel getting hooked. In the moment that you can just say, you know, forgiven, forgiven, there's a softening and you have more access to your intelligence, your creativity, your resilience, forgive yourself. The next reminder is, I find that really helpful, that sense of, you know, how is the person have their leg in a trap, you know, what's hurting. Tell me what. hurts. And you know, sometimes you ask it out loud, sometimes you just imagine, but just to keep

remembering, it's always a dance. We don't create suffering unless we're suffering. And so if we can begin to see that, we get enlarged. And then this is the bottom line. Keep connecting with your deepest intention in relationships. You know, if you can imagine what matters to you, In other words, if you can bring to mind someone in your life and imagine what would it be like if we could actually be together and love each other without holding back, you know, without a defended heart? If you can imagine that, it can happen. So awakening from reactivity and rechewsing love applies very much to how we become part of the healing

of our larger world. It's the shift in consciousness that's needed. You know, it's part of our conditioning, all of us, to create bad others. You know, we do it. It's the history of humanity has been shaped by groups demonizing other groups and violating other groups. So we do that. And if we want to create a more peaceful world, we need to evolve. our consciousness beyond that. Let me read you a question that was asked by a man who's a participant in our teacher training group and he lives in Europe, a man named Hanno. Here's what he wrote to me. During and after the Second World War, my family has suffered tremendously under the Russian army. The most horrendous acts have been committed against the women in my family. Generational trauma

was created, carried over into the next generation. I've been able to start the healing journey with mindfulness after suffering with complex PTSD. The war ripped open the closed memories of my grandmother and I remembered the stories that my great-grandmother told me about some aspects of the chaos of the invasion of the Russian army into their home village. I grew up next to the Iron Curtain. The fear of war was reflected in air raid drills in kindergarten and primary school, witnessing a divided world from my bicycle. Seeing after the wall fill the impoverished parallel world that was East Germany, the damage that was done to nature, to society by Soviet occupation, Despite all of this, I want to extend compassion to everyone involved in the war in Eastern Europe.

I see that suffering is omnipresent and cannot be healed by picking up a weapon. How can I strengthen my metta practice, loving kindness practiced, to be stronger than the natural feeling to despise the Russian army? What can I do to strive towards peace on all sides? Thank you, Hanu. I was so moved by this because there really are no winners in war. You know, when I think of Ukraine, of course, I think of how much they're underdogs and the enormity of the courage and heroism of the Ukrainian people and the horror of the relentless shelling of cities and deaths. and I'm also aware of the tens of thousands of Russian parents who've just lost sons and children lost children who have lost parents, they're no winners.

And humans are not the enemy. It's really the age-old forces of greed and hatred, of anger, delusion. And I so often come back to that one wisdom phrase that we find in many traditions, including in the Buddhist scriptures, that hatred never seizes by hatred, but by love alone, is healed. So if we, like Hano, if we want to be a force for peace, it means we dedicate to deepening presence to not creating enemies in our heart and to practice. re-chewing love right where we are, right we are, this life, this day, this relationship,

re-chusing love, whoever you're with today or tomorrow or the next day, re-chewsing love. And then in any ways you can widening the circles. Bill Hooks writes this, she says, the moment we choose to love, we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love, we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. Let's practice a little. Let's just ground this for you in one relationship where you'd like to, where you know you're emotionally reactive, where you sense separation and you want to re-chose love. And to bring that to mind, and take some moments to pause with that and to become still and to feel in your heart that

sincerity that remembers your deepest intention in this relationship, how you'd want to look at it if you're at the end of your life coming and looking back and let yourself go to where you get stuck a recent time that you played that out. or you got reactive, angry or withdrawn, behaved in ways you wish you hadn't. And go ahead and remind yourself of what was driving you. What was the emotion or feeling that was there? Was it anger? Was it fear? Was it hurt?

Whatever is the strongest emotion that you're aware of. You might mentally whisper the word, just name it. And let it be there. allow the feeling to be there and let yourself begin to investigate just to notice well what are you believing when you're in that reaction is it that this person isn't seeing me i'm unseen i'm not understood i'm not loved that something's unsafe just trying to sense you know what was driving you not feeling valued what was it that you were wanting that you weren't getting the unmet need. And as you notice it, just sense the behavior, whatever it was, you know,

the angry speaking out or the withdrawal or judgment, and just say thank you. I understand you're trying to protect me, trying to help. I'm okay right now. Just take refuge and presence. That's investigate, nurture. You might put your hand on your heart and just often. for kindness. It may be some words to yourself, like trust your goodness, trust that you're lovable. Or you might be speaking to yourself, I'm here, I'm not leaving, I care, just hold with compassion. If you need some help in holding with compassion, imagine a loving, kind, wise being, helping you, sending care. And let yourself feel that. feel the warmth and the care, bathing the place in you that was upset, helping you to know

you're okay, you're here, your whole, helping you remember the goodness of your heart. So you can really sense in comparison to when you started even this little meditation, a deepening presence, sense the quality of the presence that's here, that you're more who you really are than when caught in a reaction. And from that presence, looking through eyes of kindness, take some moments to look at the person that you've been reflecting on and sense how their leg might have been in a trap. What was it that that person was wanting but not getting? Was it to be understood and seen, valued, loved, to feel more safe, asking that question, where does it hurt, holding that person with kindness, and imagining for a moment different

ways that you might respond, new possibilities when this comes up, sensing the potential that arises when you re-chose love. The moment we choose to love, we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. Okay, again, you might take some full breaths, open your eyes, if they're closed. And thank you friends. I'm aware when we do these guided practices that it can open up a lot. It's a good journey, this journey of moving towards the awakened heart. Thank you for being with me. Namaste.