Test Match Special - #40from40: Lily Allen

Episode Date: March 30, 2020

Pop star Lily Allen chats to Jonathan Agnew in a 2009 interview that remains one of Test Match Special's most famous moments.

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Boundary on BBC Sounds. Welcome to another classic view from the boundary interview. Today is really one of my favourites. We're heading to the Oval on a sunny day in 2009, with England closing in on an Ashes victory thanks to an inspired performance from 23-year-old Stuart Broad. In the commentary box, there's much excitement as we were joined by one of the biggest styles in British music,

pop sensation, Lily Allen. Over the years, we've had many interviews that have made the headlines, few more so than this one. So let's jump right in. Here's Lily. Riding through the city on my bike all day because the filth took away my licence. It doesn't get me down and I feel okay

because the sights that I'm seeing are prices. Everything seems to look as it should but I wonder what goes on behind doors. A fella looking dapper and he's sitting with a sign and I see it's a book and it's called. Lily Allen. Hello. Hi.

Hey, we've been looking forward of this. Not as much as I have. Well, apparently so, because we'll catch up with all your cricket in a minute. But I mean, you've made quite a journey to come here, to be fair. I was talking about it earlier on. You're a busy girl. Yeah, I am. I was here, obviously, on Thursday.

And then at 11 o'clock on Thursday evening, we went to Holland. I played there yesterday evening, got on the bus overnight. And then, yeah, I drove here from the M-25 this morning. I was saying, I was speculating, I think, early with Victor. It wasn't the old National Express type. Bus, is it? I mean, it's something a bit more comfortable than that. You had a night's sleep. Yeah, it's a sleeper bus. It's got my own bedroom in the back. But actually, I didn't get much sleep last night. I was tossing and turning.

Excitement? Yeah. Nerves, I guess. You've got me nervous. I don't think so. Now, look, what I did get yesterday was that you were trying to listen to the cricket. Yeah. From Amsterdam. And you went to a pretty decent length, I think, didn't you get it? Well, on my bus, he had a radio, but it didn't have a long wave radio. So I had to get, you know, I have to have some mobile phone. phones you can pick up radio so we managed to get one of the kind of sparks to literally

weld the mobile phone to some speakers and we got you that way that's a technical person as a spark you well you showed me a picture I mean it was impressive actually you're off the mobile on turn yeah well I there's I've got another picture because you know when you do the walk from the dressing into the stage was just when you know broad started bowling everyone everyone out and then we got to the side of the stage and I was looking on BBC Sport like refreshing refreshing refreshing and I was screaming and I was going there Australia are all out and I was really really happy I'm really excited so yeah

everyone's like what the hell are you going on about and that's like cricket obviously yeah yeah and Johnny Borrell is he he's a big cricket and he was playing there too much yeah he was I think you know he's quite sort of famed for his cricket his love of cricket but I did and he was at the same festival yesterday but I definitely had TMS louder than anyone else there so I was a I was the main cricket fan yesterday yeah well that's brilliant and it was an exciting day I mean did it come across as

been quite exciting. Oh yeah it was brilliant. I mean we kind of left here on Thursday and I feeling a little bit deflated you know when we were sad to kind of only catch the seven runs from Freddie and yeah it was it was a bit yeah not disappointing but when we went to Holland I thought oh you know I'm not going to miss much and then yesterday it was like wow it's really really exciting but I guess that's cricket it is and what about today I mean you'll be pretty pleased with how things stand but will you be what do you be watching your morning I've been watching morning yeah it's been i think we've uh yeah it's good we're you know we're just sitting it out aren't we really ashes coming home you think yes well someone said to twitter to me the other

day an australian saying we're going to bring the ashes home i said you might take the ashes to australia but you're not bringing them home now when did all this start then i guess uh about the same time that i heard freddie flintov had a wee at downing street that was when i got interested in cricket. Was it? No, I followed the the Aches, the 2005 Ashes. I didn't follow 2007

and then my boyfriend's very into it. So we've been watching it for the whole summer. But I personally think that it should be seven or nine test matches rather than just five. I think it should be all out war over the summer. See you. Okay, just play them all the time.

Yeah, war, baby. It's okay if we're winning. It's an unusual Inspiration. I mean, I think I look back to the way I got involved in cricket, Lillian, I think of Peter Lever bowling at lords or whoever it was. Andrew Flintoff relieving himself in the Prime Minister's garden. It must be an unusual way of getting involved in the game. Yeah, maybe.

You got in trouble for that, by the way, didn't he? Did he? You just met his wife, haven't you? Yeah, I just met her. She seemed very lovely. Yes, she is. And very beautiful. Good, because I seem to have, I've been reading, obviously, some of your messages. think you thought he was a bit of all right, didn't you?

I did, yeah. I mean, I think he is. Yeah, he's quite attractive. Not as attractive as grown onions. Yes. And not as attractive as Stuart Broad. I think, and lots of people, lots of girls seem to fancy broad. I personally don't. I don't. He's not really my type. I like a bit more rough around the edges. But, yeah, he's kind of a bit of a pretty boy, isn't he? Yes, yes, he is. Very good at cricket.

Very good at cricket. Yes, this onion thing was a bit strange, isn't it? Because I've got a little note here, so you have flitted rather from flint off the onions to. It's a broad? No, I don't fancy broad. No, I don't fancy the other two. I find them attractive. Sorry.

I know that they're both in relationships. As am I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was a bit surprised, I think.

He was a very quiet lad, you know. Poor onions. Yeah, he was a bit surprised by this. I'm sorry, onions. It's all right. I'm over you now. That did last row. Say it's come and go.

Right. So with cricket then, Lily, where are we here? You, like many, draw into it in 2005. I mean, that was great, wasn't it? You were actually following, we've sort of caught up in the, yeah, I mean, you know, my dad's really into cricket, and so as my brother, and, you know, I'm forced to kind of sit and watch sport all weekend. But, I mean, I'm happy to, you know, especially when things are as exciting as they were then,

and are now, now, if you know what I mean. No, I do. But did you start as a kid? I mean, did your dad go off and play cricket and think? Yeah, he used to play, they had sort of like pub teams and we'd go every weekend over the summer and, yeah, the girls would sit up at the pavilion making sandwiches and the boys would play cricket. I don't wonder, I still, I mean, I'm just getting to grips with the scoring and stuff. I just completely went over my head when I was a kid. But yeah, now I'm sort of trying to figure it out.

Not really so sure about the extras thing. Right, well, yes, well, their runs that don't come off the bat, of course. Right, okay, so that doesn't add to the boys. to the batter's score, it's just, but there still runs the count. It just goes to the total. Okay. And doesn't count against the bowlers, unless they're no balls or whites, and they count against that. But they're important, leg byes and things.

How are you getting on with the umpiring signals? That one's good. Oh, the crooked fingers? That one's good. I've now got my own thing for a four, because everyone goes like that, don't they? Or is that six? That's a four. Yeah, we do that instead, which is quite funny.

Sort of paddling? Yeah, it's like a doggie paddle. Why that? I don't know, we just came up with it on Thursday and it kind of caught on. Everyone was doing it in our stand after a while. It was brilliant. Was it? Yes, I mean, umparing signals, they're essentially disciplined. Everyone has to understand what they are, but they do have their own.

I mean, um, par Bowden. Yeah, they've got their own styles, don't know. Little bits. There's that, and then he does that sort of thing. The crooked finger slowly. Others take a very long time. That doesn't come across very well on radio, does it? No.

Legby is, I think, are probably quite difficult to do later at the evening. That's that one, isn't it? That's right. Yeah, there you go. See? Cheers. Well, God, it's coming on. And you sent me a message other day about Chris Old. Now, why are you wanting to know and inquire about what Chris Old was up?

I was winding up my dad. And my dad, he's saying, oh, I'm going on TMS on Saturday. He said, Ask Agers, why Chris Old. Where's Chris Old gone after, was it the 19801 ashes that we won with Botham and Willis? Yeah, there you go. He said, where's Chris Old. We're always hearing about both Beatty and Willis, but no one knows where Chris Old is. He wasn't even born, then, were you?

No, four years later. Dear, you feel very old. Your dad, obviously, Keith Allen, I mean, is he keen on cricket too? Oh, yeah, he absolutely loves it. Right, good. So he's quite pleased you're getting into the game, I suppose. Yeah, he'll be listening now. Hi, Dad. So as far as the game is concerned, what do you reckon then?

I mean, you're getting into the game. Yeah, I think we're looking pretty good, don't you, I guess? And when I say we, I mean England. Obviously, you being a BBC commentator are unbiased. I'm impartial. Yeah, of course. I meant the game as a whole, I mean cricket. I mean, to a 24-year-old.

singer, with all this sort of stuff. What do you think cricket itself is an attraction, as an entertainment, as a thing for young people to do? That's really interesting. Obviously what I do is, you know, I'm an entertainer, and my sort of shows last and an hour, it's all very quick and sort of, you know, life in the fast lane. I suppose what I love about cricket,

and I should probably say this, is that I'm not into 2020-20 cricket or one-day cricket, so I'm into test matches. I like the whole five-day slot. Right. Because you are a traditionalist, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a traditionalist. And, yeah, I like the kind of beauty of the game, you know, the whites against the green and, you know, the sort of pace of it, and the fact that you're allowed to drink in the stands is great, which you're not allowed to do at football.

I like, yeah, so many things. I like the way that the umpires also have to be able to hear as well as see everything. Yes. Because it's always like, I always hear you talking about that something that came off some padding rather than some wood. That's right. You have to hear the noises, don't you? Well, I think you do. Stephen Frye will surprise me the day when he came.

He's a friend of yours, isn't he? Yes. He was proposing that umpires should be deaf. Right. Which I thought was unusual. Well, then you wouldn't be able to tell whether he would hit the wicket. I would have thought you would or hit the edge or... Hit the head of a bat.

Yeah. I was a bit surprised by him, but then Stephen is unusual, isn't he? He is an odd man. A lovely, lovely man. Oh, he is, I know, he does love his cricket. See, I'm a bit surprised. I'd have thought that you would be more of a one-day girl, really. I thought you'd be out there, you'd be out there.

You'd be having your all the coloured clothes and people. people jumping about and, you know, in fact, even playing on finals day, which I don't think had a band this year, did it, finals days? They didn't, which is unusual, but I thought you might have been into that sort of thing. No, I really, really like cricket. I mean, I love football as well. I, you know, support Fulham and I go down there as often as I can. But, yeah, cricket is a, you know, kind of new thing for me to be sort of, and I kind of am obsessed with it. I mean, I Twitter about it all time. Yes. Well, this is how it started, because I was sitting quietly, minding my own business

at Edge Bastille. I think it was probably raining at the time. I'm new to this Twitter, I am, and I looked how many followers you have, and that's obscene, frankly. Over a million people. Just beating Bumble. He's a cheat. He is a Twitter cheat. He's massaging his figures. But you have well over a million, a million, 200,000 people. I couldn't tell you, I don't really look at the numbers, to be honest.

I stopped doing that long time ago. It is incredible. But, yes, these messages started to come through, that you were stuck somewhere on the motorway. I was on my way down to Somerset and you guys dropped out and couldn't hear you and so everyone kept twittered in listened to 198 long wave

instead of 170 or what is it? 720. That's all the London Yeah, yeah. So that that was my first running with TMS. I was, yeah, panicking that we lost you. But we found you again thanks to the Twitter. Well I know we keep plugging the Twitter because it's good fun

actually. I'll get a lot out of that. It is good fun. Including seeing you a couple Because you've been really busy, actually, haven't you, seriously, over the last few weeks. Have you been all over the place? Oh, yeah, I've done 33 festivals this summer, which is a lot. In fact, I'm going to V Festival this afternoon to play at 4.50, I'll be on stage. And then, yeah, and then I'm playing tomorrow again in Stafford. Right, and festivals literally have been one night, one night and on you go.

You move on. Yeah, well, they sort of tend to happen over the weekends, or they tend to sort of start, you know, everywhere in Europe on a Thursday, and then they end on a Sunday, but obviously you can't play the same festival every day. So we travel from festival to festival and, you know, sort of on a bus usually and try and do sort of Eastern Europe in one block weekend and then the rest of Europe. You know, that's how it kind of works. Yeah, it's exhausting.

It's tiring, but I'm young, you know. Yes. I saw a purchase that you'd made of a, what it appeared to be, a very expensive watch. I mean, you're so like my daughters, I suspect, in that you rushed out and bought this very expensive watch. And it seemed that it didn't fit. Is that right? No, basically what happened was I was gambling, which is terrible. and you shouldn't do it.

I don't. Don't look at me like that. I was more talking to the listeners. And, yeah, I was gambling in Montecalo, and I won. I put down one bet of 100 euro on 33, only because it was the nearest one to me in roulette. And I won about 4,000 euros. And I'm terrible with money.

Like, I'll just spend, you know, we were here if someone go and get around, and then you never get the change back, and blah, blah, blah. And so, yeah, so I got to the airport, and I just thought, right, I better get rid of all of this money so I don't have it on me. I'll just buy something that will hold its value.

So I bought this watch thinking, right, okay, I can just have that and keep it. And it didn't fit. It didn't fit because you can get links taken out, but it just looked ridiculous. It was huge. It looked big. It was massive. So have you got rid of it? So you were selling it, I think.

No, I went down to, yeah, Burlington Arcade to try and flog it, and I just was going to lose too much money, so I'm going to give it to someone as a Christmas present. Dad. Oh, there you give that away. Well, what a colourful life you have. Lily, I mean, it's interesting you do have that traditional side of you that you like cricket. I love cricket. But isn't that an extraordinary balance of what you do actually do?

And your background and all the things. 13 schools, Lily. How do you get through 13 schools? Were you expelled from all of them, or just a few? No, no, I was asked to leave a couple of them. Right, what? Is that different or is that the same thing? It's kind of the same thing.

But 13's a lot. I won't go into what for, but yeah, I mean, I went to a lot of schools, but that was also because I moved around a lot. We lived in Ireland for a bit. We lived in Los Angeles for a bit when I was a kid. You know, moved all over London, and obviously you have to be in, you know, catchment areas at certain state schools. And, you know, we'd move out of them.

So it just made sense to kind of move, yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't for bad behaviour. I know, some of it was for bad behaviour, go on the time. You've always been a bit wild of you. Is that fed off? And I'll describe you as a party girl. Well, you know, who wouldn't be in my position?

having fun maggers come on well that's great but don't you get a lot of negative stuff as well though because you're out there and you're having fun and you know I try to just ignore it it's just you know most of what you read in the newspapers is absolute rubbish

and you know in fact today in the sun I think it said you know I was here on Thursday writing on the programmes that I fancied all of these cricketers and that we went for a drink with the players in the bar afterwards it's like I was out of here as soon as the last ball was played Anyway, that's... Yeah, but that is interesting, though,

because you do have this microscope spotlight on you a lot of the time, don't you? There's photographs being taken here, there and everywhere. Well, that's the thing, really, is the photographs, you know, and as long as they have a photograph and they'll make up a story to go with it, you know, the key is to just try and stop the photographs. That's what I'm working on presently.

But can you? I mean, it seems... I can, yeah, I've taken them to court, and I've got a harassment order against them, so they're not allowed to come anywhere near me, really. Really? That's interesting because, as I was saying earlier, I mean, I put your name in to do a bit of research. It seems that there has been a photographer around at times just when things have happened.

Well, no, I mean, about six months ago, it was literally like a red carpet outside my house. Every time I walked out of the door, there would be 20 guys with cameras, and then they'd all get in cars and follow me across the whole of London, wherever I was going, where they'd be to the airport, and then they'd get out, clamber all over my car, scratch up my car. But do you obviously do mind, that sort of stuff. stuff. I know it's one thing I do not need is publicity, but I, you know, I'm not embarrassed about things like that. I get annoyed when people make things up that hurt other people. That's what, you know, when it starts to get my family or boyfriends involved and that starts

to really upset me. But, you know, I don't really mind sort of, I mean, I put myself in this position, so I'm, you know, willing to sort of take some fact. But yeah, it's when other people start to get hurt. It irritates me. Yeah. It's quite brave to take you on, aren't they, I'm boyfriends and things because that opens up their lives too, doesn't it? Mm-hmm. Let's not go there, I guess. Let's move on. Oh, okay. Let's talk about your music, because I'm just getting into that.

Okay. Yeah, and it was absolutely by accident that we played on Thursday. Oh, yeah, in Freddy's interview, I heard, yeah. Yeah, and it had your music, and I didn't know about that, and people thought that it was done on purpose. It was linked. Yeah, it was just sort of destined to be. But do you write a lot of your music?

Yeah, I write all my lyrics and the top lines that I sing. I write everything. You know, I kind of have a little bit of help with producers as far as the, you know, the background music goes. But, you know, everything else is mine. Really? From start, more or less to finish. Yeah, remarkable.

And I looked at iTunes to download a bit. And after every song, there was written in red, explicit. Explicit. Yeah, I do swear quite a lot on my songs. because I feel that it's the right way to express how I'm feeling at that particular time if I'm just trying to be angry than a square word might help well it showed me up I have to be honest the other day I was sitting here I just I got the lyrics for one of your songs

which I'm not going to talk to go into except I was I was reading it off the screen quite loudly I think I was entertaining Malcolm saying cool we've got on the program on Saturday look at this and I was reading out the words quite loudly went to my absolute horror I looked just here to my left on three yards away and there was a lovely woman bearing a cake and she said aggers I've brought this for you

and she heard me saying the most appalling language and it was quite embarrassing that is truly awful talking of appalling language I think we should be able to hear more of the sledging Ah, okay. Don't you think? I think that's how you're going to get more young people into cricket. We've got to get some more microphones down on those wickets, those stumps, or whatever you call them.

Do you pick it up, and you can see it? Well, you can see it on the TV, but you can't hear it. I'd like to be able to hear what they're saying. I think some pretty horrible things to each other to wind each other up, no? Well, they do sometimes. I think it's a bit overrated, actually. Really? Yeah.

Oh, don't say that. Well, no, only because, well, I've been out there and played a bit. And the sledging, as I remember, it was. more mickey-taking more than anything else it wasn't terrible nasty I mean bullying I guess

I couldn't I couldn't bully anybody but it is in a way it's sort of eating away at your confidence that sort of thing Shane Warren who I think he's been

trying to get in touch you isn't he? Yeah we might go see him later he was a brilliant sledgeer and a good he had a good googly I hear

he did yeah that's what I know about Warnie he'll probably No, I'm not going to go there either. Back to your music, because it's... And the lyrics and the way you do it. Is there much of a message you're writing seriously about things?

No, I kind of try and keep things quite lighthearted and sort of funny. You know, I do definitely touch on serious subjects, but I think that's more like me as a person. You know, if I've got something serious to say, I'll try and kind of funny it up a little bit so that, yeah, it doesn't look like I'm being sort of too early. or something. But yeah, I mean, it's all fun in games. Yeah. Well, I think the one the song I was referring to was about racism, actually.

I think you're making a message there about the BNP and the elections and that sort of thing. So clearly that's something you do feel strong about. And you've got a great platform, actually, for expressing your views, haven't you? Yeah, I think it's important, you know, for everyone to be interested in their society and what's going on politically. And that's obviously, you know, something that's really, really great for me is to be able to communicate with my peers in the way that other people probably wouldn't be able to and that's what I enjoy.

Yeah, it's quite a responsible position too, isn't it? I guess if you are putting a political message out there or not, or am I getting too old-fashioned and serious? It's all, you know, it's all fun and go, it's not, I try not to take things too seriously and I try not to come across as being too serious either. You know, it's just fun. Yeah, yeah, it has to be.

This fellow's singing, I mean, did you like all this side of it, the music and the, you know, Sean Ruan out there singing his Jerusalem's and land of hoping glories and all that sort of thing? Do you like all that at the start? Yeah, I do like that. My dad actually did a cover of Jerusalem for the World Cup about five, or a long time ago, maybe it's longer actually about eight years ago. Yeah, so I like that song. I like all the Barmy Army and all of the trumpet playing. I think it's great. It's a really good atmosphere down here, you know, better than it is at a lot of football matches.

that I've been to. How does it compare with what you do? That's really something. I mean, how you go out on stage in front of all those people? I mean, is it like a cricketer going out in front of this? I don't know because I never played cricket. No, but you sat here and watched it. I mean, is it a completely different atmosphere? What sort of mood do you have to be in to go out and do it? How do you prepare yourself to go out there and face them all? I mean, tens of thousands, presumably. How many people turn up to these restaurants? Yesterday was 35,000. Wow. I think today will probably be about the same, I'd imagine.

You know, so yes, Galastonbury, I think, was about 60,000, 7,000. Sometimes it'll be 10,000 and sometimes it'll be 5,000. It kind of depends where you are and what territory you're in and how well are the records doing in that place. But, you know, it's a very different thing, you know. I mean, I go on stage for an hour. These guys, you know, if you're Stuart Broad, will be on here for hours. If you're Freddie, maybe not.

I don't know. Boy, hope you is. He's in next, so we certainly hope he's. But are you at all, obviously not phase, actually, I buy it. I mean, how do you get used to going on stage and performing in front of so many people? I don't know, you know. I mean, I kind of have a ritual. I like to turn up to a concert, you know, two hours or so before

and get a sort of feel for where I am and what the crowd's going to be like. I never go anywhere near the stage because that scares me. So the first time I'll see the stage is when I walk out. Seriously? You don't feel it at all. You don't go out there? No, no, no. I mean, I might have, you know, a little snoop around, you know, around the front of the stage and stuff, but, you know, kind of trying to be sort of as inconspicuous as possible.

But, yeah, I mean, I do have my sort of rituals. I do want all my own hair and makeup and stuff, so I sit there and put some music on in my dressing room and, you know, get and decide what I'm going to wear on that day. And, yeah, it's... Can you tell, straight away, how you're going down? I mean, if it's going well, if it's going... Well, if it's going badly, you know, you need to step up your game. you know it's a challenge and that's probably what you know what I enjoy about it is you know when you do feel like things are going a little bit flat you know you really have to kind of try and pull it out of the bag and you know there's people who have paid good money to be there so you've got to try and you know give them entertain them I was I found an interview you gave when you were describing something went rather horribly wrong at an encore oh no let's not talk about this I goes please well I'd like to because it it it'd obviously been being quite a successful one hadn't it and and the cries you when you left the stage I was ill.

Is this what we're talking about? Yes. They were shouting up for you. I was ill, should we say, and I went to the toilet to try and relieve myself between the last song and the encore. And as you can imagine, it was a bit of a stressful situation. And it wouldn't end this stressful situation. I could just hear the crowd going, Lily, Lily, Lily. I was sitting on the toilet.

And it was just the worst thing that ever happened. in my whole, like, yeah, it was really, really, really awful. So it did just take a little while for me to get back out there, but I explained to them what had happened, and they found it very funny. That's not a good place to be, is it? No. We've got a couple of questions from Twitter's. Any plans for a cricket song, says Johnny Strobsh.

Now you're into the game. I never, I don't rule anything out. Maybe. Yeah, we'll see. Inspire, perhaps with England when the ashes are a little inspiring to do. something for cricket. Now, did Lily see any of the women's T20 World Cup about lending your support to the women's game? It says Mazzie, whoever Mazzie may be,

but a listener from somewhere? Yeah, why not? You know, I haven't seen any of it. It's good for the game to have people like you turning up, though, Lily. I mean, it is, isn't it? I mean, it is seen, don't you think, it's a traditional old thing by a lot of people? I mean, it's great for cricket

that there are young people like you who've got a profile who are going to come along and support test. cricket because people do talk about 2020 a lot and taking over the world I'm not into 2020 at all I don't in I don't like it sorry so it's no good asking you to come along to one of those games but do you think you might though I don't you haven't you haven't seen too much really have you I don't I'm just not interested in it I don't you know I don't I'm sure that there are lots of people out there that are and I know I've only just

you know started getting into test cricket you know properly over the past this year really so I don't know I'd quite like to go to South Africa over Christmas maybe and come watch the boys when they're playing over there and I'm definitely up for following it but you know I just I like the that's what I like about it it's so you know the polar opposite to what I do it's so relaxing and sitting here

and you know just kind of watching the whole slog for five days it's brilliant you know and you can kind of get on with doing other things and then come back to it and you know my life is so fast fast fast fast next next next thing so it's quite it's nice it's nice to kind of have that contrast I've read somewhere again that you were joking I guess about

in commentary away when you gave up give you a cricket commentator I'm not going to put you on that obviously I need to definitely spend a few more hours of my wisdom before I get there you know who knows maybe I mean it'd be nice nice thing to move on it's easy

you know really really who gives you all your stats you can't come up with them yourself well I Is that you? My maths isn't very good. Malcolm, Malcolm's the man. Here, all this stuff. I mean, this is what you expected to find up here, for instance.

This commentary box with, well, he, Malcolm cheats, to a certain extent. Oh, right, okay. Up on, up on there. Now, you didn't believe me. When you sent me a message about Chris Old. Yeah, you said he ran a fish and chip burning Cornwall. I did. And you sent me, well, it wasn't, it was a tuss, a terse answer.

I thought you didn't believe me, did you? No, I said, shut out, I guess. You did, and here's another one. Let me go, Chris Old runs a chip shop in Cornwall. Wow. Yeah. He does lovely chips. Can we find out the name of the chip shop?

I'd like to go and visit Chris Old. Did he? Yeah. Yes, well, there you go. Where do you pull his name from. Well, here we go. The afternoon's upon us. Oh, what have we got here?

Aw. We've got a book. Cricket. Celebrating the modern game around the world. Ford by Ian Botham. And it's being signed by somebody. Oh, Graham onions. By Graham onions.

Thank you, Graham. This is life ever going to be the same again, poor old, Graham? Never not. There you go. But good luck this afternoon. Thanks for coming in. No, no, thank you for having me. It's been an absolute treat.

And, you know, I think what really impressed me through again looking through, but actually, I mean, you've got here yourself, haven't you? I mean, it's not been an easy ride for you up here. People look at, you know, glamorous pop singers and everything else and say, oh, I want to be one of those. And expect life to kind of fall into place. But that hasn't been the case for you at all, has it? Not really.

It's been a bit of, you know, sort of, you know, tough slog. But it's been good, you know, I can't complain. I'm very happy. I've got a house and, you know, a well, a flat and a nice car and some really nice people around me that, you know, work with me and for me. And, you know, I'm in a really, really good position and very happy. Yeah. How long will it carry on for?

I have no. I have no idea. I really don't. I don't know what I'm going to do next. I don't know if I'm even going to make another album. I probably will. But I definitely need to take a bit of time off because I've been on the road for four years now, really. And it is exhausting. Before I go, can I just say I'd really like the cricket whites to be a little bit more cream, if possible? Oh! Can I just say? And that is, we haven't conferred on us at all, have we? No. That has been one of my biggest beats as well.

Because it's supposed to be. And also I think, you know, I mean, I hate to say this, but I think that the green baggies are really cool. The hats, I think. Yeah. I really think we need something like that. Maybe we should just have some of ours made up in a sort of vintage denim so they look old.

You know what I mean? This is extraordinary. Help me out here, Agas. No, no, because I'm delighted that this, because I feel exactly the same way. Okay, good. Well, I'm glad we're on about these clothes at England wear, which are...

I just think they're a little bit too football. They're incredibly white and other people wearing creams And you want the old traditional caps I want caps and I want creams Come on England Creams Chris Olds clip a restaurant There you are

There you go We even got a map to it Perfect Go over there any holidays I will do Thanks for coming in Lily Thank you for having me Good luck with your cricket

You're the first person I've had on here Who's brought notes Is that you? Is that you? You've got an organised mind Very I'm a complete control freak Well, he's kept me in check. Lily, thanks for coming in. Cheers, I can't believe that's over 10 years ago.

Lily's still a star, and she still loves her cricket. Ten years on from that interview, we actually had Lily's dad, Keith Allen, joining us for the Ashes Test Match at Edgebaston. You'll be able to hear that interview in full soon on BBC Sounds. Let's go a little taster of Keith chatting to Daniel Norcross. If I've got time, I'd love to tell you this story. I was at the Mergue, darling. I was at the National.

We were rehearsing the homecoming And Harold Pinter was coming in on a daily basis To see how it was going Anyway, it's just down the road from the Oval So I had a lot of the morning off And quite a bit of the afternoon for some reason So I thought I'd pop down To see England West Indies at the Oval

So I get down there, I haven't got a ticket, obviously And I have my script in my hand And I go to the gate, which is next to the tavern you know, the Oval Tavon. And I was watching Hugh Morris on television, right? And he was in with Gouche. And it was

Malcolm Marshall's last test. This is the Glamorgan opening back Yes, exactly. And you're a Glamorgan fan. Exactly. Yeah. So I go around to the gate and there was a kind of porter cabin with the guy, you know, checking people's tickets and stuff like that. So the arrogance of the man, right?

And I say, uh, excuse me, I'm a guest of Ian Botham. He goes, uh, he's in both of them. I said, yeah, yeah, he's invited me down to the day. Well, your name's not down here, son. He said, no, he told me to ring him. He went, hang on, who is it? And I said, Keith Allen, thinking, surely he must have watched the comics trip or something, you know. So he's picked up the old-style phone, you know, with the cradle, right?

And he's phoned the England dressing room, right? Somebody has picked up the phone, the guy's gone, yeah, is he in there? And as he's gone like that, a fellow's come up with some corporate thing. and the guy's gone like there and I said, I'll take it, I'll tilt him. So I've got the phone, that's it. And I've put my finger on the cradle. So I go, Ian!

Ian! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's, no, I'm here, mate. Yeah, yeah. It's Keith. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want me to do? Are you going to come down, or? And this guy's like that? So I go, no, no, of course I know me way round. It's absolutely, sorry, hang on a bit.

What's your name, mate? Well, he's got, oh, Mr. David. Yeah, Mr. Davids. Yeah, he says absolutely fine. So I put the phone down, but I go on, and off you go on, off you go, so I walk in. This is absolutely true. I walk in, right, and I get in, and it's at the England balcony end, right, where the steps are. And I get in just as they've called lunch.

So basically, you're looking at hundreds of people standing up, so there's no problem with me trying to work out where the seat is. And for some reason, I don't know why. But the West Indies had come in, and Gooch had come in, and I don't know what Hugh Morris was doing, right? But he was the last, everyone had gone in, except, so Morris was coming up steps. So I've walked along to the end and joined Hugh, and went, Hugh, man, what a great innings. What a great thing, and he's gone like this. Oh, thanks very much.

I mean, were you nervous? And I'd carry on walking with him all the way up to the England balcony, right? And I think, you know, being aware, I think he might have known that I was, you know, Keith Allen from the comic strip. So I'm there And he was so nervous He was on 44 You know

Going through his... I think it might have been his first 50 That he stood and chatted to me For about two or three minutes And he went And he was great And anyway, good luck, Hugh, fantastic And off he went

And I'm sat on the England balcony like this And everybody who's come out Thinks I'm with everybody else Every single person there thinks I'm with it So I'm just sat there like that And I've got my script Right So I get

most of the West Indies most of the England team some of the West Indies team I get them all to sign it Harold Pinter signed it most of the cast Michael Sheen Lindsay Duncan David Bradley

so it's a wonderful little object to own right but I am literally sat there for the day and I've got an old VHS copy because they used to have test match battle in the evening you know the

and I've got there's me sat on the balcony with jumper surrounded by the West Indies and cricketers like that and toughers and toughers in the game

I saw Tuffa's come out. They used to have a phone box, a public phone box, on the balcony there. And I watched Tuffers making a few calls to various people. That was the game, wasn't it, that Tuffers took his... He's 6'4. He took 6'4. He got Clayton Lambert down. As he said, it didn't take long. No, it was amazing.

And I've got video evidence of this, spending the whole day on the England balcony. The TMS podcast, classic view from the boundary. What is Britishness? Fish and chips? Fitty? A good cup of tea? Nice. I'm Zing Singh and I've lived in the UK for 15 years. Now I'm deciding if I should give up being a Singaporean citizen to become one here.

I feel like I'm at home when I'm walking around and people are speaking 27 different languages. But can the people of Britain help me make up my mind? You're here and you live here and you're as British as anyone. United Zingdom, a new podcast. Listen now on BBC Sounds. Thank you.