Test Match Special - No Balls: Captaincy & Keyrings

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Kate and Alex are back to reflect on Crossy being England captain for their upcoming tour to Ireland. We also respond to plenty of listener emails, and we find a new word that Alex can’t pronounce correctly.

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that we use some naughty words from time to time. Sometimes naughty words just slip out of our mouths. And Alex is always the culprit. Sugar. Anyway, if you don't like it, don't listen, but we beep them out. So your kids can listen. And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for.

Hardley balls. Down the track comes scoring this time, Chicken. It's either six or out It's six Welcome back to No Balls The cricket captain With the cricket captain We haven't mentioned it

With me Alex Hartley And the captain Kate Cross Hello Alex How are you I'm all right Skipper how are you I'm good I'm good It's been a few weeks

Has it since we did a podcast A couple of weeks we did a little social clip to announce your captaincy that came out last week. Yes, because I found out about the captaincy the day we did the pod and I knew if we did it, if we talked about it two weeks later, the novelty or the news would have probably worn off so we're like, let's get it in now. Really sweet, but our media lady at England, Emarsh, message me and she was like, I was crying at your clip on Nobles, it was just so sweet.

Oh, it was sweet to be fair. It was it. It was like you being like, I'm so excited. It was me being like, everyone's going to be so proud, because we are. You're the England captain. And now I'm dead tired. Yeah, your first day on the job, how has it been? Yes. Honestly, it was like first day back at school, Al. It was like, right, remember your pencil case. Remember this is where you sit. Remember this is how you do it. Remember your teacher's names. Remember the bell's not for you. It's for them. But it was good fun. We played a warm-up game against the World Cup team in Loughborough. Not very UAE conditions. It was quite wet. Rainy and green, I imagine. And a bit, yeah, foggy. There was just this mist hanging around, which they're probably not going to get in the UAE. Maybe replicate the dew in the second innings, possibly.

But yeah, first day on the job, everyone was brilliant. We had lots of fun. We got a win under our belts. It was a strange day. A lot of waiting around because we got rained off in the morning for the first game and then a very happy afternoon because everyone did really well. And obviously for us, it was a bit of prep leading into the Ireland series.

and brilliantly for us we've got a lot of confidence from today and batters scored runs, bowlers bowled well, everyone fielded well, Maddie Villiers took another specky catch that, you know the ones that I was talking about that everybody in women's cricket knows how good she is at catching

but not everyone sees them because they're not always live on Sky she took another one of them so yeah I think from our point of view it was a great day from the World Cup point of view they've still got a lot of prep leading into the World Cup so I'm pretty sure they're not going to be worried

No, I don't think they're going to be worried I did see a be real of someone going whoopsies Oh, nice I think that might have been Danny Gibson was it I didn't want to drop a name I think I was in it I was in it because I was like

What's she doing? I went to say good luck to everyone at the end of the day Because obviously we won't see anyone now Because they'll jet off to UAE next week And we fly to Ireland on Thursday And yeah she was just like covering her eye up Doing a Be Real Yeah

Speaking of Ireland on Thursday I booked my flights for Friday So any no bull fans fancy it. Me and hen two fingers will be there. Oh my god. Side note hen two fingers got spotted at Beckenham the other day by a fan, a genuine fan of the podcast who has sent us

a gift in the recent past so thank you very much for that gift but yeah they were like that hen two fingers so I was like please please go and ask them for a photo and for an autograph so they did they chased after Hen got a photo and an autograph and Hen obviously was

howling at the fact that they'd been spotted but yeah please come to Ireland. It's dead cheap flights, isn't it? Yeah, my flights have been like literally 17 quid. Yeah, so you can't even get on your local bus for that these days. So get over to Ireland. We're playing in Belfast for the first three ODIs, then two T20s in Dublin, which I've heard is a good night out. Never be myself, but I've heard it's a good night out.

Be of a shame I'm coming to Belfast, really. Also, I don't want to name and shame the Thunder Girls by any means, but I've heard the Diamond's girls are all flying over because if you've not qualified for Rachel Hayho Flint finals, you've got a bit of time off next week. So, gals, if you're listening, if you fancy it, Thunder on tour. Our girls don't have time off. They've got to play a three-day game.

Oh, I heard that vicious rumor. Oh, God. So they can't close. Anyway, how are you, Al? Yeah, I'm good. Flights aside, 17 pound down. You good? I'm really good.

I'm really good, thank you. I've had some time off. Time off, unheard of. I know, I know. And I thought I had two days work in September, but I didn't get my approval for the last two days off, so I've now about four days work, which isn't much. Oh.

But yeah, four whole days. When you do put it like four whole days in September, I know you've got to travel and stuff, but four whole days out of a month, I think it'll be all right. I think I'll be all right. It's just the other bits that we've planned in between because the golf day's locked in.

Yes. We've got the golf day locked in. We've now suddenly found out we can go on holiday together, so watch this space because that will be spam. And then we've actually spent a bit of, a time together last week, which was very nice and very unusual. How wholesome was Friday? Friday was cute. I cooked, well, I didn't actually cook us anything, did I? The rice was raw, so I can't really say I cooked for you. Yeah, no, cross he cooked raw rice, but I quite liked it with a crunch.

You did say you like a crunch. I gave you a crunch. Yeah, but no, we had lunch, and then we had crunch. And then we went and dropped in on Phoebe Graham's house for an hour, which is a bit random, but completely ruined her and a boyfriend's evening. Yeah, she was like, you want a glass of wine. I was like, oh, don't talk to you about alcohol. But yeah, not much going on in my life, to be completely honest. I've slept all weekend, which has been bliss. I woke up at midday, Saturday and Sunday. And then, yeah, that's it.

Well, we had another accidental night out, didn't we? Yeah, last Saturday. A little small one turned into a little big one. It was not a little big one. It was a big, big one. And we said on the night, we're like, we just need to do this more often. And then I got a voice note from you the next day going, we do not need to do this more often.

yeah like why did we decide we need to do that more often yeah but good fun great fun was had it was and i always like going out of you because we get giddy and it's fun it was we've not done a mojo's night for ages and we ended up in mojos yeah and it's never you know it's never fun when you wake up with uh chicken nuggets chips mayonnaise and cheese in your bed yeah that's the sign of a good night we so i'm pretty sure our o g listeners will know how much we love mojos or loved past tense mojos It was the place that we always used to go after a night out because it was the only place open until like 3, 4 a.m. We're way too old for that now.

We don't do that stuff anymore. And we turned up and we're in Mojos and we play this game called if two unrecognisable songs are on. So if you don't recognise two songs in a row, we leave 4 a.m. We're still in there every time. Every time. It gets to 4.30.

We were like, right, we've not had two bad songs in a row, but we're leaving. We're going. Yeah. But you're all good otherwise. You're happy in yourself. all good, all good I'm playing the Grove tomorrow

because you can't so I've had the call up Yes we've got our England Golf Day tomorrow which no one from England can attend so they've gone for the ex-England golf day I think Yep so I'm playing with

the other captain Heather Knight Yeah other captain Other skipper But the Grove So what I learnt from playing at the Grove Last year You really need to hit the ball

In the fairway Because if you hit in the rough It's that horrible rough Where you just can't see the ball So buy spares, basically. Okay, I've got bright orange balls. Yeah, I've got a few things on my sticking out, actually, Crossy. And the first one is, do you think it was a coincidence last week

that you got named England captain the same day that Oasis got back together? Yeah, you texted me about this, didn't you? I would say I would love to have had that much of an influence on probably one of the most anticipated reunion of all times. but it was nothing to do with me and we didn't get any tickets so if any lovely nobles fans out there want to gift us some tickets

we will what will you do what we're willing to do for Oasis tickets anything like genuinely no no no no no no not anything no we'll play golf with you I would honestly honestly give my left arm to attend Oasis

and I queued for nine hours. We both queued for nine hours and didn't get tickets. 257,000th in the queue. Get to the front. It was like 801, 326, 1. You are next in the queue. You're in. Your turn. I get there. Put the tickets in my basket. Error. Well, at least you got there and got tickets, whereas I got kicked out for being a bot twice. You are a bot, though. Yeah, very true. Another thing on my sticky note is I got really excited. your England captain. So I'm quickly doing the podcast.

I'm quickly, if anyone doesn't know Crossy is England captain, I'm quickly doing my tweet and I'm like, I'm so proud of Crossy 16 on Instagram. Like, this is amazing, I tag you in it. I tagged the Scottish cricketer. Oh, you tag someone else? Matthew Cross on Twitter instead of you.

Matthew Cross. Yeah. Other thing, Captain Cross, Six for. Six for? And do you know how we always call you Ben Stowe? because you once batted and scored the winning runs with a bat and you're like, now I know how Ben Stokes feels. Yeah.

You're one step closer to being Ben Stokes now. Benfoges. You are one step closer to being a good wicketkeeper who can't get selected for England. Maybe that's where you're going. Yeah, it's the bat, the bat stuff, the batting not so much. But do you know what, Al? I'd really enjoy being with Thunder the last week. and I got the bonus game

of getting to play Rachel Hayo Flint game and I don't know if you ever had this when you played but do you ever just like feel so good within yourself in terms of like confidence and bear in mind I didn't really have a brilliant hundred I thought I bowled all right but it wasn't like a you know a tournament where I've come off the back of it

going I'm dead good at cricket but I just felt really clear and really good and back to 50 over cricket and I was like I feel like I'm going to have a good day tomorrow and then I did have a good day and it was like, oh, maybe if you do, maybe if you Tara, Tara Norris manifest, it actually works. It works. It does work. But yeah, six for Crossy. Another thing to be proud of.

Thank you. Yeah. It was quite funny, actually, because I had to do an interview with the ECB at the end of that game. And the guy was like, list, they were your list A best figures, so career best figures. Did you know that they were your career best figures? So I was like, well, I've never had a fire for Thunder, so I had an inkling that they might be up there. Yeah. Yeah, they're up there. But not to, like, give Debbie Downer,

not quite as good as my six for 20, were they? There you go. You can win that one. You can have it. I always aspire to beat you. Yeah, I looked at the record actually today because I was like, you know what, I'm going to see if I'm still up there.

I'm not got the best Hayho figures anymore. And fourth, which is a shame. Oh, fourth is still pretty good to say you've been retired a year. Yeah, but that was 2022. And look, no one wants to finish fourth. like the Olympics. That's true. That is true. Speaking of people just being ridiculously good at cricket, Gus Atkinson.

It's just the Gus Atkinson summer, isn't it? It's the Gus Atkinson honours board. He's the Lord of Lords. It's actually going to be renamed the Gus board. Gus's board. Amazing. A hundred. He's never had 800 before and he scored it in a test match at Lords. It's actually nuts. And then did you see the next day? He got like seven. Fifer. Got a fifer again. he's on the on he's played two games at lords and he's on the honours board five times do you know he's on the honours board at lords more than freddy flint off yeah mad mental he's on the honours board at lords more than you and me not surprised we don't really play much at lords you are though you're going to play a test match there in fact he's played two games at lords how many games have you played at lords two so i've played two you've played two he's played two within the first five test matches he's ever played

and he's on the honours five times and we've played twice in our careers we'll leave that one there it's just one to think about to embrace the impossible requires a vehicle that pushes what's possible Defender 110 boasts a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms

a weighting depth of 900 millimeters and a roof load up to 300 kilograms learn more at landrover.ca Should we do some emails then? We have got a few to get through. I actually listened to the last week's episode, you know. I went for a little run. I threw it back to peak lockdown

where we used to go running and do 5Ks and try and beat our times and put the podcast on. And it really helped. It genuinely got me through. Yes, love it. But we really have prioritised Anna and sued this summer, I would say,

going upstairs. so should we change it up? I think we should and it's that time of year where we get to vote for our favourite umpire. Well it's not favourite actually that's that's not right it's the best umpire of the year because if it was we would be voting for Anna and Sue

but it's the best umpire of the year for the PCA awards so I just had the email so I actually voted for Beep beep beep who knows so we're going to go upstairs with okay I've got one here and it's from Sophie and Chloe oh they've attached a nice little picture with you at Trent Bridge, Alex. You wearing a green jacket.

Hi, Alex and Kate. Loving the pod. It was lovely to meet you, Alex, at the Trent Rockets versus Oval Invincibles game at Trent Bridge on Wednesday after failing to see you earlier in the season. This wasn't on Wednesday just to let everyone know. Sadly, we didn't get a chance to speak to you.

However, we did manage to startle you as we both look so similar. We know you guys like when people sending questions. So, ours is, would either of you ever go on first dates? from Sophie and Chloe and they say they loved your outfit right so Sophie and Chloe I remember them right and obviously I knew they were twins but I was just being like wow you two look similar they were like yeah we're twins um would you ever go on first dates that reminds me of the time you sign me

up to naked attraction actually and then they rang me they're like do you still want to go on it I was like I'm with someone sorry bye um I would I go on first dates I don't think so I'm really intrigued. I don't want to do this on telly. This has always been my thing. But I think they really match people up well on that show. Well, maybe you should do it. I'd love to know who I get. Like, honestly, they're like, oh, I really love tall men with bald heads who've got the nose pierced. And then the tall man with a bald head and a nose piercing sits down in the chair and it's like, oh, we're going on a date together. Is that your type, is it? Not my type. I tried to do a more generic type than tall, dark and handsome. But I went for tall, bald and nose

just mix it up anyway mix it up maybe that's who i voted for in the umpires yeah i'd like a short balding overweight non non passionate man yeah someone with no drive so yeah i think i would and the food always looks good and i fancy the waiter hi england captain k and tv star alix Shelby. Do you think this Magic Mike show in Scarborough might be appealing to Agers? Right, okay, there's a story behind that. So I told Agers on air that

the London Spirit Girls went to watch Magic Mike before the final. Yes. Yes, they did. I saw that. And on air, Agers was like, so what's Magic Mike? I was like, I had to be a bit more PC than this, but I was basically like, it's naked men thrusting

old show. Basically, to summarise it, quickly that is that is it there's a bit more dance there's dancing in it it's more dancing and it's sexual and it's like sexy but igas i was trying to describe it to me as i can't i can't picture it so i got a video up on my phone and showed him and on air he went oh oh oh oh that's not my type of thing that's not my type of thing right okay i can imagine that was quite hilarious actually yeah um so yeah maybe the scarborough show might be for agas who knows right maybe we need to take a little trip to scarborough scarbados scurbid ass i got bedbugs in

Scarbados, do you remember? Yeah, you did. And the hotel was like, no, you didn't. Yeah, they said it didn't happen. I was like, but look at my skin. It did. It did. This is a long one, Al. Are you ready? I'm ready. Buckling. It's called Farewell to Cricket in England and WBBL draft inbound. Okay.

Hi, Kate and Alex. Longtime listeners, first time email us. We are Northern Superchargers, Northern Diamonds, Yorkshire County Cricket Club and Adelaide Strykers fans. First off, the 100 was an ace this year It just keeps going from strength to strength It got my wife and I into cricket In its first year and we now even play Can't go wrong

You get to watch two games of elite cricket for the price of one Hashtag winning at cricket life Disclaimer, we are reluctantly envious of the lanky, lanky, lanky, lankyshah song and Lanky the mascot Vinny Vinny, Vinny, Viny, Yorkshire doesn't have the same ring to it It's true

Oh, he's Vinny the Viking, isn't it? Yeah. Alex, before you went on live TV to interview Crossy at Headingley for the final Northern Superchargers game of the season, we saw you put your arm around her. It suddenly became the end of our season. Fresh news for Kate too. What was that like trying to console your mate whilst interviewing her at the same time? I'll tell you what, I found it quite hard because I was in my head building up, I was always interviewing you, no matter what happened. But in my head, I just presumed you were winning because you told me

you were winning the comp. So I was like, well, they're obviously winning. in today, which would have been such a better interview. So I put my arm around you, said unlucky, and you went, that's just the game, isn't it? And I was like, okay, she's not grumpy, she's not sad. Like, obviously you're gutted, but you're going to be okay. And then I started asking your questions, and you answered them so well, it just made me feel more relaxed, because I was like, what, the crossy's going to turn up here? Yeah, well, I'm never going to stitch you up in an interview.

Like, that would be ultimate worst best friend, wouldn't it? Like, no, and we had some banter, it was great. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess in that moment for me, like, obviously you're interviewing me. I know I'm not daft. It's you interviewing me. But you're also just an interviewer at that point.

So I have to answer the questions as I would with anyone. And someone actually messaged me being like, why were you so grumpy? Like, you completely threw your batters under the bus. So I was like, well, we've just lost. Why would I not be grumpy? Like, of course. It's just been booted out of the tournament. Of course I'm grumpy.

Anyway, we missed the interview as we were in the crowd, but we wanted to see it. and we've decided to make a big life move so we're heading down under next June for more sun in Australia. Australia, might. Good news for England away support because we've got two more in the crowd when you do the washes out there.

This means we need your help. What's the crack with Australian cricket and what's it like playing out there? How does a cricket pom fit in with the Aussies do they approach cricket differently out there? You'll be absolutely fine. The clubs out there are so welcoming, aren't they? you've got to remember though you're upside down so you've got to think like how you normally hold the ball to swing it is actually going to go the other way because everything's upside down in Australia yeah and it's like when you're running into ball if you find yourselves on your hands rather than your feet don't worry about it yeah and make sure the bat's upside down because you're upside down yeah yeah um the world just looks different of it's just better it's sunnier and nicer I'll tell you what you will notice though when you get out there um Troy and Erica is that the toilet and the sink flushed the

opposite way. And do not do what I did and make the mistake of doing the macarena with Australians because they jumped the other way. We jump right, they jump left and then you're just facing the wrong way on your own. So make sure you consolidate with your Australians before you do the macaron. Cricket out there is exactly the same as in England, but it's warmer, sunnier and nicer. Yeah, and breakfast is better and coffee tastes good. I want to go. We are going. We are. We are doing a little holiday, aren't we? Planned it. We've had so many holidays. Tell me you're single again. But carry on.

That was it. Oh, that was it. Sorry. Let me just say, sorry for the long email. That's the problem with being long-time listeners and first-time emailers. Lull. All the best, Troy and Erica. Right. This one's from Anonymous. Well, Anon, so I presume they want to be anonymous. Unless that's their name. No, because I've just seen that they're called Mm-hmm, something. All right, okay. Hello, ladies, but more Kate than Alex, awkward pause. Sorry, Alex.

Excuse me. I recently had a net session in which I felt amazing and was bowling about the fastest I ever have to date. Calculations work out about mid-80s, and a couple of effort balls trying to get the 90-mile-an-hour bragging rights, I ended up with a side strain. I've copped a few injuries in my time,

stress fracture, bad knee, upper back, right cough, but not a side strain. Being a fellow fast bowler and a fellow side strainer, how does one recover from a side strain? Any hints and tips and fast and solid recovery would help. Is this Mark Wood?

This is anonymous. Mark Wood's not going in touch then. Done his knee, his ankle, his back, his side. Not Mark. Yeah, it's not Mark. All right, Woody. Well, side strains are actually a pain in the bum because you really have to look after them.

I always think side strains and hammies always look after them because if you get it wrong it can be a nightmare so even when you think you fit to bowl don't bowl give yourself another week yeah always always always give yourself longer

and we're not on film so no one will be able to see me do this but when you cough or sneeze into your side that's sore so like crunch up into your side does that help it? It just stops it from bursting open more so like if you crunch it up then it can't go anywhere so it stops it opening

but other than that I'm not a medical professionals so do not take any advice from me or Alex on that I'd say stretch it ball faster just running faster don't do that seriously no don't this is also an anonymous one oh we've been warned as well Henry sent these emails out and he's put not to give this name away okay okay I think this is a serious one Al it says thank you hi ladies please feel free to read this out but I prefer if you didn't mention my name thank you you. Hi, I just wanted to take time out and thank you for your time at Old Trafford Test Match. I'm a huge cricket geek, badger, and I have suffered from mental health challenges.

Granted, I'm a touch behind on listening to your podcast as it's been a tough year and I've shut down. Graham Thorpe's tragic death really struck a chord with me. Graham was a few days older than me and I respected him growing up and following his career. You both talk about everything in cricket and go off-paced on many topics but talk about mental health and real life. at Women's One Day International at Hampshire last summer Mental Health cropped up in commentary It saved me then for some reason I can't explain I'm disabled and have been assaulted a few times

Including this year and this came days before my mother passed away It's been tough but cricket and your podcast has just about held me together Thank you If there's a chance you could both sort me a picture of you together I'd appreciate it You've both made me smile Don't change who you are and what's got to you to where you are now thank you oh my god i know exactly who that is yes i know who that is as well these are always hard

because i i don't know what to say like because us being us and so open and honest like we forget that we're helping people when we talk about when we're not well yes which actually is we we think we pass it on to each other don't we we tend to have a week a week each but yeah i always i I always really appreciate these kind of emails because there's times where we do this podcast and we probably get a bit lazy with it. Obviously, we love doing it when we're doing it. But I think these little reminders are

how important it can be for other people and how much of an impact it does have. But I also think what we do without blowing our own trumpets, I think what we do well is talk openly and honestly, and that's all we ever encourage anyone to do about their mental health is just talk to someone that you trust. be open, be vulnerable, because being vulnerable is basically what gets you to the next step of

asking for help. Yeah, and I trust you, which means I trust all our nobles listeners, because that's what we do forget, don't we? Yeah, they get to listen to my problems. And we do go off peace, we are very sorry about that. Touch wood, bar being tired, I've been mentally well for a long time. Yes, but that is again, because you reached out, you went and got help, you saw the right people out and you'd stop playing cricket which ultimately makes everyone really sad. It made me really happy. Now you've stopped. I think therapy should be mandatory.

Well, I saw recently that actually, you know, you used to bring 1-1-1 for non-emergency emergencies. 1-1 is now a mental health helpline. So there is always going to be someone that if you need to speak to in your absolute worst moments, one-one-one is the number. there's obviously loads of charities out there that can help as well like the Samaritans and mind there's loads and loads and loads but yeah one-one is now changed to be a mental health health help number well I never thank you for teaching me something I hope that's right gosh let me check that just give it a ring give it a go hi I'm Kate Cross I'm the England captain and I'm not well I'm so tired I'm so tired yes then oh also dental help So 1-1-1 is for help with symptoms of injuries, dental help, mental health, help, prescriptions, and any other medical conditions. So there you go.

There you go. Don't get your teeth and your brain mixed up. It's all the say, if your head hurts, it might be your teeth, might be your brain. Get it checked out. This is from Mike in Romania, which is, Rogi said maybe. Romania, where the dogs come from is a bit niche. I'll have to get my own one printed. I don't know what that means, but I'm sure we'll get onto it in a minute.

The dog? Phoebe. Yes. Hi, Alex and Kay. In reverse order of appearance on Heather Knight's Christmas card list. It's good to hear other email as asking about merchandise. No balls branded key rings. Oh, did you get your no balls branded kearing? I did.

Say that word again. No balls branded kearing. Kearing? Like a key ring. Kearing. That's a kearing. No false branded key ring? Key ring.

Is that another word? Have you got your key rings? That's a key ring. So you call that a key ring. It's a key ring. Like, because you put your keys on the ring. That is called a key ring. Yeah, I've never thought about it.

If I had to spell it like I'm saying it, it'd be K-E-R-I-N-G. But also when you've just read this email, out and it says, K-E-Y, new word, R-I-N-G-S, key rings, you've still said key-rings. What is wrong with me? Who, who educated you?

I don't know. Nobles branded key rings, mugs and t-shirts would sell in bucket loads, as would bucket hats. Maybe we could have a competition to come up with logos for t-shirts, pencil cases and phone covers.

I've got a couple of ideas, all with No-Bowles, go on, obviously. It's a nitbacker, not a tail ender. Good friends go out for meal deals. So your family can listen. I buy stuff even a pencil if you did them. Oh, that's not a, that's not a suggestion. I'd buy stuff even a pencil if you did them. Thanks for a brilliant pod. I love it. So there we go, merchandise. I'm just not sure to be completely honest with you. I do like the not a tail ender because obviously that's quite there's two meanings to that because obviously you call me a tail ender

but we aren't the tail enders so I quite like the not a tail ender yeah but good friends go out for meal deals is that's a good yeah that is a good one so your kids can listen that's a classic yeah phone covers that'd be a good one people ask us to sign their phone covers don't they yeah someone someone gave us a key ring not so long ago didn't they and it was actually

great oh I know I got a key ring off someone I got a key ring so I can't believe you just say the wrong You've just literally gone around for 31 years saying the wrong words. Well, I say Skellington. Skelling. Caring.

Caring. Carolmalised onion. Catamarang. Catamarang. Marcus Triscusis. I can say that now. Marcus Trescothic. Yeah, you can actually.

Well done. This is an education piece more than anything. Practice. I practice. And it's catamaran. Catamaran. It is. So, well, I've learned a new one.

Key ring. Key ring, mad. Anyway, if you say things differently and wrong, you should email us on No Bulls the Cricket Podcast. No Bowlspodcast at BBC.co.com. No balls podcast at BBC.co.com. You will be one year older and one year wiser next time we do a podcast, Alex.

Oh, don't. My brother, I played golf with him yesterday. He's like, see on Friday, I was like, what's Friday? He's like, your birthday? I was like, no, it's not. He's like, yeah, it is. I was like... It creeps up on us every year. It's my birthday, Friday. One year older.

and now you know that the word is key ring and not keering. I'm going to go get a toothbrush from reception because I've not brought one. Please get in touch with us. We obviously love hearing your emails and come to Ireland. Oh my God, I forgot. Come to Ireland. I'm there from the sixth to the tenth. Do there, please. Let's do it. England, no balls to Ireland. Yeah, the tail end is gone on tour all the time. No balls go on tour. No balls on tour in Ireland. For everyone that comes on tour, for everyone that goes on tour, for everyone that on tour, Alex will buy you a pint of Guinness, a free pint on arrival.

Oh, if you come up to me and say, you're a no-balls fan, I will get you a beverage of your choice. There we go. Bribery, let's do it. See you in Ireland, everyone. Bye. The Sixthor Out, it's six.