Test Match Special - No Balls: Christmas Special

Episode Date: December 21, 2024

Alex Hartley and Kate Cross have a festive catch up after Kate’s return from South Africa.They discuss Kate’s back injury which meant she hardly played in South Africa and the road to recovery ahead of next month’s Ashes series in Australia. They also reflect on England’s success in all formats across the series which served as good preparation before heading down under.Plus, what do they both want for Christmas?

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Bring more gear, carry more passengers, face greater challenges. Welcome to the world of Defender, with seating up to eight, ample cargo space, and legendary off-road capability. It's built to make the most of every adventure. Learn more at landrover.ca. This podcast is brought to you by Wise, the app for international people using money around the globe. With Wise, you can send, spend, and receive up to 40 currencies with only a few simple taps. Plus, Wise won't add hidden fees to your transfer. Whether you're buying souvenirs with pesos in Puerto Vallata or sending euros to a loved one in Paris, you know

you're getting a fair exchange rate with no extra markups. Be smart. Join the 15 million customers who choose Wise. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and Cs and Cs apply. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Al, we've been told we've got to issue a swear warning because you over there, potty mouth. Not or another one. You swear sometimes. I do. I do.

I'll sometimes say, you're a f***. And we've got to remember that your grandma listens to this podcast. She also abuses me on social media. She does, but that's by the bye. We'll beep them out. So your kids can they? Cross. I'm doing round the wicket.

Oh, that's... Boulder! Boulder, leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. I think it's the wobble ball. It just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beauty from Cross. Hello, and welcome back to Nobles, a cricket podcast,

on location with me, Kate Cross, and you, Alex Hartley. We're live. We're not live. As Tim Peach keeps telling me, we're not live. But we're at the Christmas markets, and we're together. We're at the Manchester Christmas markets, because you told me famously they wouldn't be busy at this time of year. It's the 20th of December.

everybody and we stood around a bin because it's busy it's very busy we're queued up for not too long actually to get a yorkshire put did we yeah no it's good um welcome home thank you and you thank you nice to see you no we were saying that i last saw you on the second of october and it's now the 20th of december that makes me feel ill your fault yeah have you been good well no i'm not i'm alive i just feel good now because it's christmasy yeah it's good you got your christmas hat on got me christmas hat on anyone in manchester christmas markets now That's me, waving it. No, I've had a bad three weeks.

Really bad. Yeah, you went to South Africa to just get treatment. Went South Africa, bought 4.5 overs and came home. Oh, it's really sad. I'm ready to talk about it. Are you? Okay. So we were going to do a podcast in between the ODIs and the test match, aren't we?

But I couldn't because, A, I was in so much pain, but B, I couldn't give away that I basically wasn't fit for the test match because I was still trying to get fit for the test match, but I would have told everyone. And then integrity, is that the right word? Yeah, match fixing and whatever it is. Yeah, it all goes out the window then. So I was like, I'm really sorry, Jack.

I can't do it. You just thought, not available tomorrow, sorry. I was in the MRI scanner. I couldn't physically do it there. Okay, let's talk about it. So let's dissect. Great series for the team as a whole. Really good tour.

Came away with one loss out of seven matches, so that was the first ODI. So yeah, great tour. First ODI, you weren't playing. That's why. I text you, that's why. But then they were fine without me. They were all fine without me.

And now I'm really sad, but they don't need me anymore. Retirement pending. The youngsters are actually good at cricket. No, they are. They all had, I feel like everyone had, in their own way, a really good series. Obviously, Belly in the Test Match, outstanding. Remark winning in the Test Match, obviously, you just don't know how anyone's going to go, and then you play Test Cricket, and still you don't know how anyone's going to go,

because we'd never play Red Bull Cricket. We are going to sing the Christmas songs when they come on, but the minutes of Ichie. Yeah, it's a bit weird, actually. We did, before we started, there was Christmas songs, and now we've had a bit of John Lennon. No, John Legend. No, Brian Adams.

Anyway, I want to talk about your spine. Yeah. What happened? So I was bowling in my second ODI, open the bowling, five balls in, and get to my release point in my action, so the point of no return when you can't do anything about anything, and I feel my back pop.

Pop. not crack pop and I was like and then I watched it back I didn't know this at the time but my right leg just gives away yeah it's like I thought you just had a dead leg at first everyone texts me saying how's your ankle I was like ankles are fine I can't see them because my I can't move my back but they are there and they're fine but no so I felt this pop

and then because I've learned a lot about backs in the last two weeks but when something feels catastrophic but obviously isn't happens your back protects you by going into spasm right so I immediately went into spasm I couldn't get out of it I tried so hard to get back on the pitch did you so got off immediately and Dr. Tam just like ramming tablets down my throat

painkillers and anti-inflams then he gives me some local anaesthetic in my back so he puts four injections in my back to try and numb everything to see if it was just the pain that was hurting to see if I could move to go out back and bowl that didn't work so the physio's trying to treat me move me and then

She puts these like electrode machines on my back to try and pulse it To try and get it going again So we literally tried everything But then it got to like an hour and a half of me being off the pitch So I'd have to wait an hour and a half before I got back on the pitch By that point I wouldn't be able to bowl So it was like right Focus turned to trying to get fit for the test match

Which was two and a half days away Yeah and you had a four hour bus journey Four hour bus journey Yeah as soon as I mentioned on her that there was a four hour bus journey Everyone went well she's not going to be playing then is she I was like probably not I tried to get in, like, I think I was quite high on the drugs, to be honest with you, but I went in the net and tried to bowl.

So I went out of the back and tried to have a bowl, and I couldn't do one med ball. I couldn't even, like, get the ball from above my head to, like, down. It was shocking. My first thought was, like, how are you going to put your knickers and socks on? Couldn't. Heather had to offer to help me take my socks off in the dressing room. Oh, okay. But not your pants.

Heather Knight did not offer to take my knickers off on that tour. But are you moving better now? Yeah, better now. So, God, we're about a week after it now. Do you know what? I really, really, really tried hard to get fit for that test match. And I was really upset because you don't get many opportunities to play test cricket. And I found that really difficult.

And it's daft because we've got a test match in a month's time. I know, but still, you've not got one after that for ages. So it's like you could have played two in the space of three months, and then you're not going to play for another year. And do you know what's really ironic? Where you did the podcast before I played an ODI and you were like, to play three games you're going to play a test match and I was like you never know well you just never know you never know I didn't play I didn't play any and it just I think the

thing I struggled the most with or the thing that I struggled most about it was I don't get injured often and to miss cricket for me is a really big deal and I really pride myself on being the reliable bowler for Heather and Louis and I couldn't be that person this tour and I really was like felt useless yeah and I know it's silly and it is all catastrophic get injured, it happens. Yeah. Because if it was Belly or Filey, you'd have been like, it's all right, you know, it's not the end of the world.

But when she was like, it is the end of the world. And Belly was brilliant, so she, when I was still then trying to bowl during the Test Match, and I've been ruled out at this point. I then tried to bowl on the third, the third day, and I just couldn't still. I still wasn't fending properly. And I got really panicky about it.

I got really overwhelmed and Belly came up to me and she was like, Kate, it's been like six, not even five days since she'd done it. You wouldn't, why are you trying to bowl? What are you doing? You're not a plane. Were you just trying to prove to yourself that you were better? And we've got a very short turnaround until we get on the plane for the ashes.

So I didn't want to put too much pressure on myself to do it over Christmas when everything's closed. Yeah. So I've got to go down to Lufberra do a bit rehab around my Christmas time, which is fine. I'd obviously do that to get, give myself a chance to get on the plane for the ashes. Yeah, bad three weeks, Al. Bad three weeks. Great for England cricket, though. Good tour.

Good tour for everyone. Test match win. First in a decade. That's actually such a long time. You were 23 last time. And you won? And you won? And then we've drawn...

They've drawn and lost everything. Wow. It was so good, wasn't it, though? Yeah, it was brilliant. The pitch played its part because I think every time we've played four-day cricket, we've been on generally quite a dull, slow, boring pitch. I thought it was going to be like that from day one as well.

I was like, oh no, we go again. Yeah. Well, Heather, I said to have the day before, I was like, what are you going to do if you win the toss? and she said four-day cricket your best chances to bowl first and then the next day she turned up and she was like, I need to bat on that

but Bouchon debut How, 100 How good And honestly Ignore the second it is That's the highs and loads of test cricket everybody No but

She had a really honest conversation With us a couple of days before She put in wraps the committee Yeah Well we are at the Christmas markets everybody I'm having a mould wine You're having a hot chocolate with whipped cream Yeah, and a few marshmallows.

It is Christmas. She put a lot of pressure on herself, Booch, because for her, and for a lot of people, test cricket is the pinnacle. And to make the test match debut was so special to her. And then she went out and got 100 and looked so comfortable. I've never seen anyone, like, not look nervous on a test debut. Yeah, she looked great.

And then obviously, I think Natty helped her quite a lot because Nat got out there. And Heather was there as well. And Boosh got the record for the quickest 100 ever in tests for women, England women in Test cricket. Yeah, and then 29 minutes later. Yeah, and then she put on Instagram, always stealing my Thunder Natty. Did she? I miss that.

Yeah, but she looked great on debut. Like I said, as did Remack, I thought she, for a ninth, she's actually 20. Heather said she was 19 in the post-match interview, and everyone's like, she's 20, but for a 20-year-old to hold your line and length like she did, in a really... Same position was lovely.

Everyone kept talking about that. Yeah, it was. Should be threatened. I don't. All these youngsters coming in. I've seen these tweets, someone tweeting me saying, must be a doubly disappointing week for Kate Cross because not only is she missed out on the test match

but she's also not been missed. Savage. This is why you deleted Twitter. Savage. Correct, but savage. Oh, that's sad. What else happened? Natty, quickest hundred.

Yeah. Other than second innings was England's second innings. 90s. She averages like 60 in the test match cricket now, doesn't she? Which is a great record to say we don't play it often. And you would have three days? Three day win. It was so good.

That collapse from South Africa was actually horrific. I've never seen anything like it. It was like us in India last year, though. It happened twice to us, but that game was over in two and a half days. But I was talking to Louis about this after the game. If you don't play much test cricket, those collapses are really hard to stop because the momentum shifts so quickly. And I think that's what happened to South Africa.

Like once one goes, and belly was on. And once you lose your best two players, Cap and Woolfart, You're like, how much do they rely on them? Yeah. What about Tammy at a short leg? That catch. So good. So good.

So good. Okay. Tough one. Because Heather's spoken about it. No DRS. Shambles. Yeah. Obviously, controversial side of the test match. But I think it actually goes to show still where women's cricket's at.

Yeah. You think you take five steps forward and there's then two back and it gets frustrating again. You know what the thing for me is? It's like, that was the only game in South Africa, the whole summer that they've had with no DRS. Cricket South Africa have gloated about having 50 million in the bank, fork out a little bit for DRS because it was poor. There was some poor decisions.

I loved the fact that Cap got Tammy LBW and it was given not out in the first over of the test match. Tammy hit that. Did she? Okay. But you got, okay, no DRS, like it couldn't have gone better to prove a point. I actually thought Capi spoke really well

in the press match afterwards saying it's the same for both teams. But I did feel like we kind of had the rub of the green and I don't know sometimes if you have home umpires, whether they almost go the other way with the bias. Well, it felt a bit like that in the Ashes test at Trent Bridge, and we had DRS, didn't it? It felt, you know, they were umpire suiting Anna.

I mean, you can't play, I don't think you can play test cricket without DRS. And we had it in the ODIs and the T20s, so it's not like it wasn't capable of being there. So would it have affected the game? Probably not. Doubt it. But I still think it's a huge wake-up call to cricket and boards around the world that we need to have the best available.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And I also think, they did it on the cheap, didn't they? Because there was no cameras. Like, the replays were useless, no DRS. There was only seven cameras. Normally for a game, you have 23. Well, maybe that's where they saved a lot of money, but it's a really disappointing tour for South Africa.

They've won one game out of it, and how are you going to get bums on seats? You need to do that by winning games of cricket, and you want exciting games of cricket, and not ones that finish in three days. I just think, again, it's a wake-up call, but I don't think it couldn't happen again and hopefully it won't happen again.

I don't think it will happen again. I don't think cricket South Africa or dare put on a test match without DRS. It does go to show though. There's always something to moan about, isn't there? And we're really lucky with DCB and in England that that's a given now, that you always have. Can it come from the top?

Could the ICC not be like, right, it's mandatory? Because it's not mandatory in men's test match cricket. They have to have DRS, I don't know. Probably. But we've not got like a championship yet, have we? so I don't think it matters as much. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day that I find mad with the men's championship?

They all play with different balls around the world. Yeah. So if we played more home test matches, we'd be the only country that uses the Jukes. And then that could really affect results. Yeah. So how is it not consistent around the world that they use the same ball?

Because you should have a home advantage. Yeah, well, yeah, but would you not have that by playing in your own conditions more? Yeah, I don't know. No, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway. Washes.

Washes with heavy cricket, how are you? Oh my God, I'm actually really well. Good. Yeah, I'm fine. I've been a bit worried about you, I can't lie. I've been really worried about you. Yeah, because you've not been your sprightly self for obvious reasons. You know, I've been like, are you okay?

You're like, no. There's been quite a lot of one-word answers, and I've tried to talk to you but not overload you. and tried to show that I'm caring but also not tried to pest you and I'm like, I don't want to get wrong. I think what I was doing out there subconsciously was putting so much pressure on myself

to prove to everyone that I'd be okay for the ashes so I think that's why I was finding it really difficult I couldn't even run a drink on like it got today too and I could job lightly so I ran a drink around the boundary. You got your match to people doing nothing. I can't believe I bought dinner and Jacks bought the drinks. She's doing life well.

Oh, we're waving to people, hello. Yeah, I got all this pressure on myself. And I... Oh. It's coming past the music. Bon Jovi's on his way. It should be Christmas music, but it's not. We're at a Bon Jovi concert right now.

He's got his Christmas lights on, but playing Bon Jovi? As I was saying, day three of the test match, I was so emotional. I was so anxious. I was so panicky. And I think when the test match stopped, I instantly felt better because I didn't have to think about anyone else. I didn't have to, I don't know, work out if my back was sore that day or whether I could bend down and touch my toes,

which I've not actually tried since I've got home. You did tell me on day one that you could touch your knees, and I thought, oh, we're getting somewhere. We're getting somewhere. So, yeah, it's just been a bit tough, and like I said, I'm not used to being injured. Being injured and not feeling like I can help, and the ashes is really close.

It is. I want to, obviously, make sure a little bit. Not, the physios aren't, and the doctors aren't, which, and I had a scan, and the scan's completely fine. There's a tiny, tiny, tiny little bulge. my disc where they think I caught a nerve and that's what the pop was that I felt so it's nothing it isn't serious it is because I can't move yeah it's getting better every day it's not like a six month injury no no no no and it's like a weak injury and it's one that

I have to relax on because I have to let the spasms relax but how do you relax when you're running drinks on a test match or trial right aren't they the worst thing in the world though the I was thinking about you when you did your neck at Trent Bridge and you were stuck facing the floor for three days remember yeah I've had to get carried out the car before back spasms and all sorts. Can't brush your hair, could you? No. But anyway, I'm sure

if my rehab goes to plan then I've got a good chance, very good chance. And I've had a lot of lovely messages on Instagram, upset for the man who told me that I wasn't missed. Thank you, whoever that was.

Sound. But yeah, I'm looking forward to what is going to be a very exciting January. I'm so excited. So excited. Did you see the big cricket ball outside the MCG?

I did, actually. That's quite good marketing, isn't it? Is it? A cricket ball above a cricket stadium? Yeah, I quite like it. It's a bit like it. It's a bit,

Like the bat signal, but it's a cricket ball. Yeah. And it's for Katie Perry. Well, because they're panicking, they've got to sell the MCG. How are they going to sell the MCG for four days? I will eat your Christmas hat if any of the days is sold out. Yeah, I think day one's got a chance. It's the last game of the Ashes as well, and you know how much our momentum gained in the Ashes Summer?

I booked my own flights home from Australia. And I was like, okay, I'm going on this date. I was booked. I'm leaving on this date. Fly into Sydney, so I booked my flight Sydney to Manchester, home. Last game's in Melbourne, isn't it? Yeah. I've got a flight from Sydney.

So you're having a holiday in Sydney? No, I rang Emirates and went, please, can you change it? And they did for 30 quid. That's not too bad, actually. Yeah, not bad. Because I'm looking at changing my flight now, and they want £500. I was like, you can put that in the bid.

Might as well book a whole new one. So that's not gone very well. And you're the one that tells me I'm bad with travel. You are bad with trains. I'm not bad with trains. You are. It's a vicious rumour. Bicious, vicious rumour.

Bad for trains. The Dakar Rally is the ultimate off-road challenge. Perfect for the ultimate defender. The high-performance defender, Octa, 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine and intelligent 6D dynamics air suspension. Learn more at landrover.ca. Right, a little bit of context. We are back together for the first time since October. We're at the Christmas markets, and we set our producer a little task, didn't we?

Yes, we did. So we were adamant. Well, firstly, Jack put in the WhatsApp group, meet at 645, no location. 645. So we said, let's just guess. Let's see how we go. Treasure hunt for the No Bulls podcast. I've never played hiding seekers and Adela. I quite like it. There is a dog in a bag there? There is a dog in a handbag. And it went well for us.

quite poorly for Jack went so well for us actually because I knew exactly where you'd be there was two locations well I had three for you possibly but two of them were serious I thought mulled wine

possibly at a bar but there's a lot of bars so I couldn't narrow that down it would have been this bar by the way if it was to be a bar I thought it would be yeah because we came here two years ago so that's why I did think this one

but I was just like she's hungry six o'clock it's dinner time I thought that girl loves Yorkshire I love Yorkshire. He loves Yorkshire, plays for Yorkshire, basically. First location. We found each other. Yeah, we did.

Jack, wild goose chase around the city centre. Well, because he went to six his cricket. What's been to do with the Christmas market? I can't touch my toes, Jack, I can't bat. But it went well. We are officially best friends. We are officially best friends. Well done us.

We knew that anyway. Yeah, we did. But I was slightly worried. We did say on the WhatsApp group, what if we thought we were good and we weren't, and then we're not best friends, and we have to cancel this podcast. and that's...

Turns out we're even better friends than we thought. So, oh wait, we've not got our own notebook that Jack sends us with all the things we've got to say on it. What do we do now, then? We normally look at sticky notes. Have you got anything? Yeah, I have actually. A drink soda?

I have. I've got a drink soda from last night. I thought, this is nothing to do with Christmas, but I thought that race car game, did we talk about this last week? base car game that you've got a remote. I thought it's called ski electric. And my whole life I've called it Ski Electric. And I said it the other day, the F1, and someone went,

what did you just say? I was like, oh, blah, blah, bob, what? You mean a Ska electric? Yeah, Ski Electric. Is it a Ska Electric or a Ska Electric? So we've both got it wrong. A Ska Electric. Yeah.

So have you asked Santa for one for Christmas and never got it. Yeah, I can't wait. I have nothing on my sticky note, surprisingly, because I've been in a pit for three weeks. There's a word here, and I don't know how to say it. But apparently I've done it. Apparently, I've got a few people. What is it?

That is Wamageddon. Right, so apparently I've Wammageddoned a few people. It's Christmas. Well, I didn't know about it. So I've put, me putting new ones off my Christmas tree. Oh, yeah. And I put the Wham song on my Instagram story. But apparently it's like a nationwide game that if you hear the WAMS

you're out and you have to note down when you got out and how you got out i got like 17 people message me being like you've wound me oh right i don't think i've heard that yet because i didn't listen to your story with sound on yeah so yeah's crisp should we get everyone now should we play it shall we play it shall we'll play it we get it oh jack's that's the first thing jack said no to to be fair it's actually boring not in any golf content this week but i'm i'm on the golf ban I'm in the bin with golf. Oh, I'm playing tomorrow. In this weather?

Yeah. You're right. Sunday, actually, I lied. Sunday. So it might be warmer. Closer to Christmas. It won't be busy then either. No, I've got nothing on my sticky notes.

Okay. But Jack says in our very, very casual debrief. Brief? Brief. Brief, not debrief. Talk about South Africa over a mulled wine and a bratwurst before going on to reflecting on the year as a whole. Been a good year?

Has it? What's happened? I don't know. It feels like it's gone fast. This has been my fastest year yet. Maybe it's because you're older. Maybe they get faster as you get older. Well, they do, apparently.

Have you had a highlight or a low light? Peak and drop? Oh, bring that back. Peak of the year? Jeez. I don't know. My peak of the year was my world record that I got back in March. Yes.

That was my peak. Yes. I remember everyone was. 25 plays and misses in a single ODI spell. Well done you. The one I was after, everybody. Do you know what's blowing my mind is I'm thinking about the year?

We're in New Zealand at the start of the year. My trough of the year. Oh, I won the WPL. Oh. That's probably a peak. You did. Be eating play, so. Nah.

Been retained, well done. Thank you. Yeah, well done. Going back. Again, should have bought the dinner. I'll get you all the pancake. Three pound pancake. Ripple.

I don't have highlight low, like, genuinely. Crossie. My life's just been work, work, work, work, work. You've just had two months off. Six weeks off, actually. This is outrageous. Tell you what, actually. Coaching in the PSL.

Nice, yeah. Got to the final. Real peak, yeah. Trough losing. Easy. Completed it. Trough you're back, missing test match. We also got a few emails, so we'll go upstairs for the final time this year.

Happy New Year, everyone. Happy New Year, everybody. It's Merry Christmas. It is genuine. We've been saying Merry Christmas now for about three months, but now it is Merry Christmas. Need to update you on Joe, Joe Roots. Right, now it all makes sense.

I'm like, why the f***? Has she named her plant Joe? I explained it. Do I get multered wine? Yeah, you can, yeah. Someone's just come up to us for anyone that didn't hear. That's a molten wine. Malted wine.

So I put this on my Instagram, sorry, and I said, someone suggested I call my plant Joe because it's got roots now. Yeah, right. And you didn't connect Joe Root. I didn't know. I had a friend called Joe that was good with plants or something, I don't know. Yes, this is what we're working with everyone. So, Joe, come home to Joe.

Not grown. Oh, no. Not one bit. I have updated everyone. No one asked. No, but it's great. Everyone loves the plant content. Have you put your Christmas tree up yet?

No, I'm not doing it this year. Has it? Not doing it. I've only just got back a minute ago. Bar humbug. I'm the Grinch this year. I love Christmas, but I'm taking it. I'll have to take it down.

Last year we actually had a tree to put stuff on, but not Christmas tree. We just put stuff on the tree, didn't we? No wonder it died. Oh yeah, poor thing. Right, so I put something on the old Instagram and I got some cool questions. Well, who we're going upstairs with?

Did you just say cool questions? Yeah, sorry, I'm about that. I think it's the Christmas spirit that's getting to. Who would you like to go upstairs with? Jack, have you got a suggestion? Other than the big man for this time of year. Oh, should we go on with Santa? Oh, I've never taken Santa upstairs.

Come on. Oh, yes. There's enough of him to go around to share as well, isn't it? easy yeah Santa baby we're coming upstairs to you boo-hoo first question do you have oasis tickets yet funny story I got scammed actually the other day so I don't want to talk about it go on tell what happened someone that lives in my flat put a message on Facebook saying I've got four spare oasis tickets as anybody want them so I text us saying yes please turns out Facebook got hacked and it was a scammer you text me saying got us got us some tickets for

Oasis, I've checked, it's a date you can go to, it's in Manchester, buzzing! And then a minute late, you're like, oh, it's a scam. Yeah, my bank rang me, they're like, don't just send money to strange people, please. But we sort of got Oasis tickets, we just need to get a pair of spikes, don't we? We do, so we'll keep you updated on that. Amilda Joy has asked, have you ever played cricket on Christmas Day? No. Have you ever played Christmas? Cricket on Christmas? Christmas on cricket?

Christmas? I haven't, no. We had to do a Christmas Day run for a period, didn't we? Yeah, I've not done that for a while. Well, rightly so, you retired. Yeah, I also got dropped. What have you asked for for Christmas from Santa? Do you know what? I haven't, because I feel like I've got everything I need. This is not a Christmas song either.

No. Yeah, and I'm now like giving, not receiving. Yeah? It's a good place to be that. We're also 30-odd. What do you ask for? Santa knows what to buy. He does, to be fair.

He always knows. Does he buy it or does he make it? Make. He makes it, the elves make it. I've similarly not asked for much I would have asked for golf stuff but golf ban Santill will know

he'll know what to bring us maybe maybe he will bring us our fourth title yes it would be the free Pete for Best Cricket podcast don't get ahead of yourself

sorry context for everyone that doesn't know we've put ourselves again into the sports podcast awards and we've been nominated for three categories how good a diversity category a best cricket podcast category

and a comedy comedy who put us forward for that Jack best cricket podcast but it's a joke it's dead easy to vote I've actually not done it yet

I'll go and do that tomorrow but please go and vote for us we'd love to love to love to beat zero ducks given podcast please don't let them win just because Toby Tarrant is already a nightmare we don't need him winning any podcast and he's also again he's got listeners

he's on a radio he's got a famous dad Yeah, no. You can't ask for votes when you've got a famous dad and millions to followers. We might have to get Greg James on board with ours. Just get him to do a little shout out on the radio. Yeah, but he's eager, because he's got his own podcast. Not in it. This is from Phil Mulligan.

Do England Women's Cricket Team, or Lancashire or the BBC Commentary Team, do Secret Santa? And if so, who got who? You do it, don't you? We do a different one at England now. So we've had four Christmas parties in five years because we've been away in December. And the last two years, we've done the secret. Santa way you just buy any gift, put it in the middle, and then you get a number. Once your number's called, you go and pick out a gift, but then you have the option to steal

any gift that's already been opened. So it's quite a good... So what did you put in? I put in a golf hat and golf balls. And what did you get? I got loads of chocolate, an M&S voucher. That cup game where you put it around your waist and you've got to try and swing the ball into the cup, but I couldn't play it because of my bat.

So did you swap it? Well, everyone else played it. But no, I kept that, because I thought, great game. M&S Foucher. Just swapped the chocolate, though. Kept that? Kept that. Not really, I wouldn't buy chocolate for you.

No. You had a Mars bar in your fridge for seven months when I lived with you. I got annoyed when you ate it. It was a Snickers. Snickers. And then it was like, you mean my snickers? It's been there seven months. Yeah, but sometimes you just need something for a really terrible occasion.

So that should remind me, actually, when I was poorly in that first week, when I was over in South Africa. You really have had a bad trip. Absolutely shocker And things happen in threes as well And when we took off in that thunderstorm The other day I was like, here we go But anyway

Tammy text me saying What room are you in? She got me a little prezzy And she opened the door And she was like I know you don't eat cakes So I didn't get you a cake So I got you some yoghurt and blueberries

And I was like Oh the day that I really need some cake And I've got yogurt and blueberry I do eat cake That's really thoughtful It was really really thoughtful Oh bless her She's probably just got him from breakfast as well

No she went to Woolies and bought them for me Cute. Shall we do some emails? Right, let's go. Oh, this is a bit more reading out. Emails, let's go upstairs with dot, dot, dot. Hello to 16 year old Emma. Emma says, hi, Alex Kate and Jack. Oh, well, welcome to you know. We need to send that one on. Happy late podcast anniversary. Six years, wasn't it? 65? I don't know. I don't know how old I am anymore. Longtime listener here with a response to the request for pet names after famous people. Sorry, it's a bit late. I needed permission from my friend to say, send this in. My friend's grandma has three cats named after politicians. Ed Davy, Tessa Munt and Nick Clegg. I'm glad I read that slowly. I have to admit my friend and I don't know the reason why they're named after these people and I don't even really know who the politicians are but that's my answer. My question is when on tour around the world have you ever found any

dangerous snakes or spiders and who is the most scared of them? I came across a black cobra in India got a video of it and I was like getting close to it because I just thought it is a snake and loads of locals get away, get away, it's poisonous it'll kill you, they kill more people in India than like... And you're just trying to get a picture of it? Yeah, I got what, it looks cool.

Did it? You never showed me that? No, no, I don't know why. I've never come across a poisonous spider but I've come across a brown snake, brown tree snake which is quite poisonous in Australia but didn't go near it. I did that with Heather and I hid behind her. She went Alex, I went captain's duties, don't end off the field, you know? Who's most scared?

I probably am the most scared of spiders and I found out on this trip that Lauren Bell isn't She just came into my room in Kimberley Which we got told that there's spiders that get into your room And this massive spiders on my water She just comes and gets it She's incredible, not what I was expecting And she said she's more scared of spiders than she has dogs

But you don't find any wild dogs in your room On tour But you shouldn't So did you put a message on the WhatsApp I was going to someone come get a spider? Me and Belly, both went up to our rooms at the same time and I went in my room and saw it. It's like, Belly, before you go in and you're scared

of spiders and she was like, no, I'll sort it out and just came in, tissue paper. We'll love that from her. Sorted. Okay, our next one. Hello to John, who's emailed. Hi, Alex and Kate. Toaster Always Out, Secret Bread Knife Wiper. Random question, but what do you think the commentator

Dan Norcross was about to say before the ball jags back in the opening sequence to the pod? I don't know. perhaps it's an LBW on my part but I can't help wondering about this at the start of every podcast Cross

I'm doing round of wicked Oh that's Boulder! Right so he goes Oh yes Boulder! I reckon he goes Oh it's in the slot

Well it was wide It's wide wide wide wide ball It was I've never thought about that Yeah I've never noticed either It's hard when your lead commentator though Because when things like that happen If you're already in the middle of a sentence

You do have to change direction quite quickly don't you? It was a boulder. Perhaps it's an LBW on my part but I can't help wondering about this at the start of every pod. He sounds a little exasperated almost as if he's about to start

scathing about the delivery but then quickly has to change tact when it becomes a baron that Litchfield's been castled. What do you think? I think he's probably saying it's outside off it's... Yeah. Oh, that's a drag down.

Yeah, and it nips back so much. He got away with it. Also, please can I get a shout out to my kids? No. I'll be joking. Thea, Ella, and Finn, the latter of whom play for Milden Hall Cricket Club under 13s and under 11s.

We've all enjoyed watching you both on and off the field over the past few years. Keep up the great work on the pod. Merry Christmas and a happy new year. I think we should end our Christmas special. It's not been very Christmas here, so Merry Christmas. I think it's only Christmassy because we're at the Christmas market. Yeah, it's Christmas here for us, isn't it?

Should we do a bit of a roaming pod? I think we should I'm going to get another old wine okay I'll go get us the pancakes then it's a bit of pleasure oh no

someone's just dropped the shopping oh dear that's an orange juice on the floor glass orange juice who buys went through the paper bag you got a double bag so everyone we will be back for the washes

yes no mashes this time no it's later on in it November well a year later. Yeah. November, December, January, isn't it? But washes is more important anyway for us.

And if anyone in Melbourne, not Sydney, saw the Big Pink Ball, remember there's a test match going to go on at the MCG. Take a picture and send it to us. I want to see it live. Get in the picture with it. You won't get in a picture with it. You'll be in Sydney. I want someone to take a selfie with the Big Pink Ball.

And send it in. You can email us on. No Bowlspodcast.bc.bc.c.c.com.com.com.com.com.com. at UK. It's so good. They said it twice. Merry Christmas, everybody. Happy New Year. Hello, Gary Lineca here. Join myself, Alan Shearer and Micah Richards for The Rest is Football, the essential podcast for football fans. We'll be bringing strong opinions on all the latest stories from the Premier League and indeed the wider world of football in a show that combines topical debate with the most.

outrageous tales from our own careers. Will Liverpool have enough to win the Premier League this season? Will Rail Madrid's new Galactico's era be a success? Why did Gaza bring an ostrich to training? The rest is football. Listen on BBC Sounds.