Test Match Special - No Balls: Incredible India, acai allergies & who would Alex take to Glasto?

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Alex Hartley & Kate Cross look back at Smriti Mandhana’s heroics as India beat England in the first T20 of the series at Trent Bridge.They also discuss their not-so straightforward day at Rock for Ruth and Alex rates which TMS commentators she would take to Glastonbury.Send us your questions: Email - [e-mail] Instagram - noballstcp

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you're getting a fair exchange rate with no extra markups. Be smart. Join the 15 million customers who choose Wise. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and Cs and Cs apply. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Al, we've got to issue a swear warning because you are an absolute potty mouth. Not another one. And you need to remember that your grandma listens to this. She does. She also abuses me on social media. But don't worry, we beep it out.

See, your kids can listen. And Grandma Jean. Cross. I'm doing round the wicket. Oh, that's... Boulder! Boulder! Leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. I think it's the wobble ball. And it just nips back. It jags back. It's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross.

An absolute seed. That is a beauty. Cross. Hello and welcome back to No Balls of Cricket Podcasts with me, Kate Cross, you Alex Hartley and tiny weenie little disclaimer. This is the second time we've had to record this podcast, Alex. Crossie, we have never, ever in the history of podcasting, have to redo one. I mean, we've uploaded blank podcasts in the past.

We did have to redo Keaton's. Yeah, but that was through technical difficulties. We had to redo this one because of it. we were so bad. Our producer, Jack, couldn't send the episode out. It was so poor. And let's just put this all into context. So we put out the blank episode.

So there was just no one talking on that one for 45 minutes. We put out an episode where you were at Disneyland and there was like the music going on in the background. We put out an episode where you had Georgie Boyce in your bedroom who was watching TV and you didn't realize the TV was on loud and we put that one out. So that was how bad the episode was last week. So this is why it's so out of. time but which means extra things have happened so we can't run out of conversation because the problem with Thursday when we recorded Thursday was the fact that we were up till 2am

catching up on life and it felt like we had nothing to talk yeah that could have it we should have recorded it when we were at the end of the roostrauss day shouldn't we that would have made much more sense um anyway we're back stronger hopefully but the second time this week Crossy. How are you? I'm well, Alex. I'm well. I am I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I'm tired. Of course, she is.

Wouldn't be a podcast episode without you owning about being tired. Let's put, should we put that in the drinking game? World Cup mentioned 10 two fingers and you're tired. Yeah. Yeah, it's all right. Okay, everyone, everyone's two fingers. I was tired. I've not got a drink. I'll do it. I'll do two fingers later. Get it down yet? It's sparkling as well

It'll be burping now Oh yeah Crossley how actually are you Yeah I'm good I'm good I've had a little time away from cricket randomly in the middle of the summer 10 days

No minus the Ruth Strauss game No cricket for 10 days How good is that Is it weird A bit random yeah But was needed You know when you don't know how I wasn't burnt out

But you don't know how much No I'm not saying it You don't know how much You're on the cricket treadmill until you get off the cricket treadmill and then you realise you're quite tired. Yeah, yeah, I do understand. I wouldn't really understand at the minute now

because I've also had 10 days holiday. You have, you've been gallivanting. This is why we've had nothing to talk about because everything you've been up to isn't podcast. I know, I know. There's things on the podcast I can't talk about and those things I've been doing quite a lot recently. But I have been on holiday, so we can talk about that.

You've just made it sound like you really get up to something that people don't know about there. Everyone knows you drink. Everyone knows you go on holiday, so we can talk about those. Yeah. So you've not been doing anything else other than that, really, have you? No.

No, I would never. Good, okay. Holiday. You went on holiday? You did. You went on a random holiday. I did. And you said in the previous recorded episode

that it was obvious that I'm single because it was just 25 bikini shots of me. Oh, the first trap. On holiday for 36 hours. I was. I was there Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's it. 20 photos.

I think how many I took that didn't make it, Crossy. I know. That's worrying. It's worrying. Anyway, Alex went on, yeah. You went on the hunt, didn't you? The Instagram hunt. I went on vacation.

It didn't work either. I'm going to have to be more subtle next time, I think. You do not know the word subtle. No, obviously not. Obviously not. You have also been a little vacy. Tiny weenie one, yeah. Went and saw one of my besties get married, and it was amazing.

Where? In Rome. A little bit out of Rome. A place called Fugie. Fugie. I thought that was a camera. Fugie. That's a camera make, isn't it?

Yeah, this is Fugie. F-U-I-G-I, if anyone wants to look it on the map. But an hour outside of Rome. Very similar spelling. Literally couldn't be. further away. It just starts with an F-U-G-I-F-U-J-I is the other one. Yeah, an F-U-I-G-G-I is not F-U-J-I. Yeah, but it's F-U-J-I, yeah. Move on, move on. Yeah, so a random weekend,

well, when Rach told me she's getting married on the 28th of June, she told me, obviously, two years ago, I was like, I'm really, really going to be surprised if I can make that one. and lo and behold there I was because it was the start of the T20s I'm not in the T20 squad I had a weekend off I got to go and see my best mate get married and yeah so happy talking of the T20s crossy England are playing India 5 T20s 3 ODIs Smitty Mandana who is our next podcast guest by the way

only went and single-handedly won India that game so I was at the wedding on Saturday so I didn't watch a single ball of cricket which was, that's unlike me. If the girls are playing, I'm obviously watching and supporting. So I went and checked the scorecard up maybe about 7 o'clock at night, and I was like, whoa, that is a start to the series. Yeah, India looked very good. But it just shows, for me, we were speaking about it, obviously post-play,

the difference between playing the West Indies, like 3rd, 11, if we're honest, and then playing a strong India. Yes. So, like, for me, it was the pressure. that England were under, they didn't cope again. Only four balls from the seamers were hitting the stumps all day from England. Okay. Four balls.

So they were just like, it was like a real wake-up call, but also me and Catherine on air were saying, it doesn't actually matter that much because they'll have learnt so much and how many times as an England team will be lost the first game and they won a series? Yeah, that's true. And obviously, not been parted to the dressing room,

to the chats or anything, but you know that those games, the first game of a series like that, where someone gets, I imagine Smitty batted unbelievably well, where you kind of have to park that game and go, we know we've got areas to improve, we know if we can get Smitty early, for example, then that will make our life a little bit easier

as a bowling attack. They did rest harm and pre-core, though, didn't they? I saw that. Well, rested, but she hurt her hand in the warm-up game, so she's got a sore thump, but Smitty at the toss was like, she'll be right. Nice. She's not bothered. She's not bothered.

She's like, she'll actually be fine. so she was kind of rested kind of had a bit of a knock so i also saw sophie epleston and lindsay smith playing in the same team which was obviously the big talk around the west indies series because sof was rested for that series so how did that go yeah surprisingly badly for england to be honest we thought playing two left arm spinners obviously you play left arm spinners was wicket-taking options soph in particular we'll probably got five sixes

if she's having a bad day, she's got a seven-eight. Both of them went at 14s, got one wicket between them. At Smitty just played so well. Like, when I was so well, she got 100 off 51 balls, sorry. Yeah, and left-arm spin, which is often very threatening against obviously right-handed female batters, is the opposite, isn't it? That becomes your off-spinner that becomes a little bit easier to attack. Yeah, so Capsie then ended up bowling it a little bit more than probably,

and probably would have thought but I don't know I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing like I really don't well obviously our girls are going to have to come back better maybe that first game

is a little bit like our podcast episode last week just put it in the bin get rid yeah just it didn't happen and then it's now a format series and they start again in Bristol yes you are correct

and that is to Tomorrow. Which could be today by the time it's... It could be... No one might hear this. This might never touch anyone's ears, so who knows? I want to touch on India a little bit more because they look like a really good unit. Having said that, I think England, in the context of people that might see this clip,

I think England performed here, which was like, below... I'm going to go below my chin, right? My nose is... This is for the listeners. My nose is like equal playing field, England as good as they can be. No, England. Like, I don't know how to explain it. Right, what I'm going to say is,

my nose is England and India are on an equal playing field, right? England played at my chin and India played at my forehead, right? And I think the next game it'll go back to my nose and England will play better and India will play worse. Does that make sense? It does somehow, and I don't know whether that's because I've been friends with you for far too long, but I weirdly understood that. Yeah, and I think that's where.

So, England are underperformed. India, for me, overperformed, and I think the next game will be a lot tighter, is what I'm trying to say. Do you know what was annoying, actually? I saw Smitty did an interview saying Radiadav had basically told her that she's never scored a T20 international ton, and it's about time that she put a talent out there and, you know, did what she just did in the first game

and then pointed at Rada and was like, that was for you. I know, I know. also from an England point of view there was a stat on the fact England lost six wickets to left arm spin and obviously there's been a big chat on England losing wickets to spin over in the ashes at World Cups

I want to put a bit of context behind that stat because England obviously bowled out for 111 or whatever it was but it was quite a lot of the middle to tail order getting caught in the deep or leading edges that got caught out to spin so I'm going to ignore that start until we get sorry is that about your eyebrow or is that the top lip

where are we with that in terms of Yeah, I think I've got a Tantash at the minute, we'll say it on the performing. Which chin are we going off it for you at the minute? Yeah, I know, I know, it's bad, it's me. Oh, no, don't. I'm only joking, Al. I ran twice last week, Crossy. I don't know how I'm not like 10KG lighter already.

Yeah, that's how it works. You've considerably spoke more about India and England in this episode, and it was a thousand times more, she's putting her chins out. It was a thousand times more professional, and I can tell that you've been back at work because you were just a bit more switched on then. I didn't even need my notebook. You want to talk about anything else that happened in the game? I was there.

I watched it. What do we want to talk about? So, to summarise, I'm getting from this. We've got areas to improve in all facets of the game. Yeah, but I think just mainly being under pressure again. Again. So it'll be a really good test for the girls tomorrow today, yesterday. Who knows?

So hopefully, fingers crossed, we get it to 1-1 and then the series is alive and everyone comes to Old Trafford first international match in 10 years at Old Trafford and I'm going to plug this, I don't know if I'm allowed but we're trying to break a record at Old Trafford. We're trying to break the record for the most the highest attendance at international women's game

at Old Trafford and it's at like 9,000 I think we've sold 75% of that. I want us to smash this record. So if you're anywhere near Manchester on the 9th of July, get yourself to Amherst or Trafford. Does it count if you buy a ticket but don't show up? Like, does that count as attendance? No.

Because could we just tell people to just buy tickets? No. It's not a profit-making thing. It's about getting people into the stadium. Oh, okay. I just thought of breaking a record. So you thought when people say it's sold out, if there was then, like, no one turned up. Oh, we've got a forecast just come in.

Sunny and a gentle breeze, 21 degrees. Perfect. On the night. Get yourself there. Get a picnic. Get yourself there. I'm going to get completely sidetracked. 32 and a half degrees it was today.

Yes, really hot. I feel like I'm really clammy still. I already had four showers today. Very, very hot. I don't think we can just bypass what you've just said, though. So you think if someone said that a stadium was sold out but no one actually used their tickets and turned up, that then on TV, if the commentator said,

oh, it's a sold out crowd today, anyone would believe them. Yeah, but if it's a sold-out crowd today, anyone would believe them. It's sold out and no one shows up, it's sold out? Still sold out. No, I don't like that. I don't like the technicality that you've got through that hoop on. I've done well there, though. I mean, I've twisted that really nicely.

Somehow, yeah. Little left arm tweak of that one. Middle and leg. Outside off. Thank you next. Speaking of, you had a little bowl. Crossy. Twice last week, I've never been a stiff in my life.

Is this why you're so tired? Could be. back to fitness regime. It's back to Kim. Your workload has peaked. Peaked. I bought three overs on Monday and three overs on Wednesday. But Wednesday was a special day, wasn't it?

Because we got to sort of play together. Well, we played against each other. In a sold-out crowd where there was three people there. Yeah, sold-out Ruth Strauss Day. It was meant to be our day, Crossie. Obviously, it's a day to raise money for Ruth Strauss and the Ruth Strauss Foundation. but it's our day we've had in the calendar to catch up for like a couple of months now and we're like that's it not seeing each other properly for like five weeks we're going to

catch up and meet you in the morning we have breakfast what happens yeah bad day for me really because i sat with you at lunchtime and ordered an asai bowl and what were my words to you i think i might be allergic to assay every time i've had one i've been sick and i said well we'll know in four to six hours and in four to six hours later yeah yeah I wouldn't have been a best friend had I not taken that photo

no absolutely not and you did bring me a water a cold water which was lovely but yeah I bowled we bowled first I was on Rob Key's team you're on Andrew Starris's team did the bowling innings loads of fun got loads of footage you put the video out the other day

and then halfway through your innings I was like oh I don't feel great So I thought I'll eat a taco because I might just be dead hungry. You know what I'm like when I'm hungry? Yeah, you get a bit like, not faint, but a bit like out of sorts. Anyway, so then felt a bit faint. And then I'm having a conversation with Jonathan Trott and it's this really in-depth conversation.

And you know when you just couldn't wish something to stop quicker. And your mouth starts watering. And you get that feeling in the throat. And I was just like, I'm so sorry to interrupt you, Trotty. I'm just going to have to go to the toilet. Trotty, Trotty, shut up. Basically, and you'd actually text me saying that you had blocked a toilet and I'd not looked at my phone because I was too busy playing cricket.

And then I looked at my phone when I went to the toilet. And my reply to you was, well, I've just projectile vomited in it. So, good day. Sorry, Berling Court. It was honestly, I was worried about you because you're like, I think I'm going to have to go home. And I was like, oh, no, like, okay, finish the game. Your team win.

You got Sir Andrew Strauss out. Oh, yes. First time I've got a night out. You get him out. Your team win. I come off. You're killed over in the bathroom. And I'm like, right, okay, let me go and get you some water.

Are you okay? And you're like, not being sick for 20 minutes. I'm fine. This woman comes in and has a poo. Like, as you're in there being sick. No softener, blanket softener. No poo blanket. No poo blanket.

Just a raw dogged poo. And the toilets were back to back, weren't they? So it was like, I was spacing her whilst I'm also being sick. And then... I've not been sick for 20 minutes. And then she has a pill and does it? You're all right in there?

And you just go, Buh. Literally, she just has the audacity to walk out and go, is everything all right in there? I was like, it was. It was. And now you just made me feel 10 times worse. So that I found.

and then it's entirety really funny until you really, really project out and then you had to go home and you miss the rest of the day. I messed it all. And I'm so, so jealous because you got to dance with someone from Strictly Come Dancing and that is my dream and it annoyed me that you got to do it.

And Brendan was one of my favourites when he was prime strictly. So I said to him earlier in the day I was like, oh, so what do you do? And he was like, I was on Strictly. I was like, oh, amazing, how long for? And he's like 15 years. I was like, oh, okay.

And so we had a little dance, and I was like, you, dance floor, twirl me now. And he was like, no, no, no, no, twirl me now. And he was like, we did a little dance and a little, and I've never been so awkward. And then we were talking about a strict class, like, Crossy's going to be so jealous because she watches strictly every single year. She loves it. She watches it from start to finish. And it's like this little friendship thing that we've got is I now refuse to watch it.

And I've always said I didn't like it and now I won't watch it. I said to him, I've got to go on before her. I'm fuming. If you go on it, honestly. I think that might be the end of us. Well, actually, if you give me some of the money they give you, then it won't be the end of us. Yeah, I'll get you some free tickets.

Okay. Anyway, I've not signed myself up. Brendan's not on it anymore. I live in a New Yorker. No, I know he's not on it. Why are you telling me that he's not on it? I watch it. Oh, well, I found out.

I found out he was on it and now he's not. This has reminded me of the time that we were at a England dinner. I think it might have been the big England dinner that we had at Lourdes and we were at the bar and we bought a drink and there was a man stood next to us at the bar and he offered to buy us the drinks and you said oh hi I'm Alex, what's your name? And he said

I'm called Alex, Alex Stewart. Yeah, yeah, that happened. You didn't know who he was. That happened. It also happened at Lourdes and I went up to someone and went, oh, what do you do for a job? And he went, I'm your boss, I'm Tom Harrison and I went, oh right, nice. Yeah. Yeah, but

I guess they're not on TV every Saturday night in one of the most famous shows ever. Yeah, Alex, it was kind of a big deal. It was a big deal. You played at Surrey as well, Alex. Yeah, but now we're friends. Yeah, you are, obviously. So, yeah, it was a great day, wasn't it?

Other than it wasn't a great day for me, personally. But you had a great time. You saw Katie Tunstall. You saw Razor Light. You had a day with Stephen Finn and had a... You were on his team. I'm jealous, actually. And then I've spent so much time with Finney,

Wednesday, Thursday with him, today, with him, all week at the test match next week. I bet he is fuming No he's not Because he gets a proper headrest and armrest Because he's so tall He can just rest his forearm on my head and walk around Can we talk about the fact that he's rocked up

So it's a charity game We didn't have any kit I took my kit bag a couple years ago And then realised it looked a bit keen So I didn't do it again this year So I just had a pair of trainers And then Vinny rocks up With a brand new pair of spikes on

I know And they are the spikes He was meant to use in the Legends League in India but he did his back after three balls, didn't he? He took it as seriously as Harry Judd did, and Harry Judd takes that day very seriously. He does, he does. My mum and dad couldn't believe

we were just big-wigging with all these people. I know, I know. We've got friends in high places now. Yeah, I mean, I'll never speak to him again until next year. The following advertisement feature is presented by GoTurkiya. You're thinking about a holiday. Look at a detour across the Turkish Riviera. After all, the best way to discover somewhere is to go off the beaten path.

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Crossy there's also a men's test match going on as well. I'm presenting the highlights this week, so make sure you're watching. So you're going to be at Edgebaston? Yeah. Do you know what? I don't quite like about this team right now. I don't get it. Why they announced the team, like four weeks before they're going to play it?

Yeah. Well, I think because it always gets leaked anyway. Like literally, the team always gets leaked. So you might as well just be two days before the toss feels excessive now. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? What if someone goes down, in the warm-up say

Ben Stokes is too obvious Harry Brooke, he breaks his finger in the warm-up and Bethel comes in, plays instead of him. Yeah, but then they'll just got Harry Brooke injured in the wall, in comes Bethel. Yeah, but they just don't need to say that if they just did the team at the toss. Yeah, I don't know.

I wish England women would do that before because there was so much speculation, is Eccleston going to play? Is she not? Oh, she's warming up. Oh, she's not warming up. Oh, Charlie Dean's warming up. Oh, she's bowling before the one. Oh, does that just learn on the team?

It's so easy to know the team. Just watch who marks their run-ups out. Yeah, I know. I know. I like to play the game with people that don't know as well. Oh, no, she only wears long sleeve when she's not playing. I remember the Cricket Her podcast tweeted in one of the test matches. It might have been the India test match at Bristol, like a long time ago.

And they, I saw it after the game, but they tweeted saying, judging by Cross's body language in the warm-up, she's not playing today. So it looks like there'll be a debut elsewhere. I was like, oh, what do I look like in the warm-up to look like I'm not playing? Yeah. You just got a resting face. That's the one, yeah. I think I was playing football, so it probably just looked like I was a very uncoordinated human being.

Emails? Who are we going upstairs with? You went upstairs with Anna Harris's mum in the last episode because she was at the Oval in your warm-up game, not your warm-up game, you charity game, first charity game. Corporate game, actually, thank you, darling. I'm sorry. Yeah. I play with some big wigs. I don't know why I got invited.

So it feels sad to lose her opportunity because we were crap. So should we go upstairs with Anna Harris' mum still? I think it's only fair. We treat Anna Harris's mum the same way we treat Anna and Sue with love, care, affection. We were back on the famous document. Remember, you can email us on. Oh, no ballsp podcast at bbc.co.com.com. No ballspodcast at bbc.com.com.com.

It's so good. It's so good. I said it twice. So Abby in Lancashire says This is like Gogglebox Abby in Lancashire Says hi Kate and Alex Long time listener here

On a recent podcast Kate mentioned how people were adding her on the Strava app Yes Still annoyed about that I seem to remember her also saying A while back How some fans were outside the team hotel

During the 100 wanting autographs And how she had refused to sign for one who asked Which one are you then Yeah I was thinking I don't often refuse an autograph, but I did that day. My question is, which is more irritating as a cricketer? Having your privacy being invaded on Strava or fans finding out what hotel teams are staying at, like in the 100. How is this info even getting out to the public? And then the fans being there.

Keep well, Abby. Well, you pointed out to me, obviously we've spoke about this on the pod. My Strava's public, which it doesn't really matter. I don't run that much. Twice last week, though. Twice last week. kept it on privates and not even you can see it because I don't know how to delete people on it. I need to sort that out for you. I'll remind me next time I see you and I'll sort that out for you. Yeah. It's a different kind of irritation for me because I, the Strava thing annoys me because why? There's just no need for you to follow me on Strava and it often I am going to run from my house. So it is weird. Strava does hide the starting end point of your

run so, doesn't it? By like 40 metres. So people people are still going to know what vicinity I'm in. The loop goes like that and then stops there so that it's not hard to work it out. Whereas the hotel, people being outside the hotel doesn't bother me, but what annoying me about that guy that day was that he just didn't, he was just autographed hunting and he had no idea who we were, but he had him,

like he'd stepped into quite, not a private area because obviously a hotel's not private, but if you're going to do that, then at least take the time to look at the photo that I'm going to sign for you to then marry up with my face. I do wonder how people find out, oh, do you remember the cleaner that videoed Virac Coli's hotel room? Yes, that was weird.

That was bad. That was so bad, wasn't it? Yeah, and someone once got into Meg Lanning's room. I remember that. That was weird. Yeah, yeah. So it's different weird, but I actually think that story, the hotel story. I remember that guy being at Leicester. I remember coming off the pitch there, and that's when he was like, which one are you? and I found that annoying as well

because he'd been at the game so he's a cricket fan he bought a ticket so yeah that annoyed me but I just find the Strava thing bizarre like I've got a social media account I put stuff out there so people can see bits of my life

that I let people see why are you adding me on Strava why are you going searching me on Strava that's what I find weird it's feral it is feral why does Catherine Siverbrunt call crossy Catherine on commentary

because that's my name But your name's spelt different Yeah, she's Catharine, I'm Catherine Not very many people call you Catherine Not in cricket, they don't But I think she does because we call each other Catherine Yeah, okay And she was Kathy, she's Kathy B and I'm Cathy C

That was how it was, like how people called us in the dresser I swear there was a singer Oh no, that's Katie B Yeah, that's why she calls me Catherine I think And also She calls me Catherine because it's my name And people don't call you by your nickname If they're good at their jobs

No, no I have to call you cross. Do you find it hard referring to me as Kate or Cross on commentary? No, I call you Kate Cross. It's easier if I just do full name. Nice, okay. Right, last of the emails, then we'll go on to our Instagram. Jenny says, hi Kate and Alex, Alex and Kate.

I'm planning to treat my cricket mad teenage son to a city break this summer and need your help. We want to explore a new city and also watch cricket at a ground that we haven't been to before. We've looked at the Vitality Blast and 100 fixtures and can't decide where to go. the ones we've already been to are hove the oval lords and the aegeas so which city would you recommend for a good mooch round great food options nice places to stop for a drink in the sunshine and a great atmosphere at the cricket thanks jenny okay so good food good mooching sunshine sounds like Manchester Manchester would be my first you might not get the sunshine sunshine but but can you ever say sunshine without doing that wait i think you should come to old chafford for a game the party stands up now by the way yeah it is favorite time of the year watching them put that thing up because it's wild yeah it's not the big big big one though

it's just the medium it's the if this is the party stand on your nose it's just probably here not here probably like eyebrows eyebrows yeah it's not the big big big one not forehead I would go Old Trafford Not only because it's our home ground And obviously you can see Your Portalue, my floodlight But it is just a great city There's so many people come to Manchester

Who go at home and go God, I wasn't expecting it to be that good I've had a quick revelation I have two Portaloo's Two different pictures I've got a Thunder Portaloo And I've got an England Portaloo Oh, stop that

I know one for a two one for a one maybe yeah let me know which one's which because i won't visit the two yeah you've heard enough of that this week um jenny also you've only been to four cricket grounds so there's the world's your oyster i'd definitely recommend trent bridge for a game yeah and i'd also recommend edgebaston yep get to birmingham and also leads superchargers it's an unbelievable atmosphere when you come and watch a home team at yorkshire yeah it actually is and the test match looked banging as well didn't they the men's test match

yeah go to all of them tick them all off why not um Shaw is a massive fan of the pod if you could go

VIP oh if you could go VIP to any concert would you go to have you done that on purpose to wind me up you've just said the word VIP rather than VIP

no I said it reading it and didn't realize it said VIP and then changed it back to the IP. What was the question? I stopped listening. If you could go VIP to any concert, who would you go to? Adele. Speaking of VIP, Chrosy.

Speaking of VIP, Chrossie, I've only gone and got us four tickets to Magic Mike, VIP. This is the classic. we go to a charity event, end up having a bit too much to drink and buy something in the auction. But I wasn't there. And you message me going, don't worry,

I've got something to cheer you up. It's four tickets to VIP Magic Mike whilst I've got my head in a toilet. Yeah, because when we've been in the past, you spent stupid about a money on darts tickets. You spent stupid about the money, we spent stupid about the money on flying a plane we never did. So you have the bank account. I've got the, we'll do it, we'll do it, we'll do it.

And between us and make a really good team if you're that charity because we just give you too much money. This year I had to be really conscious because it was just me and you weren't there going, I'll give you half. So yeah, I've got us tickets.

And we get free mail. Can we document that night? Absolutely. Does it if we VIP, does that mean we get on the stage? One of us gets on the stage and I am more than happy for it to view. Brilliant. Yeah, I look for that.

I want you to be it. be lifted up, dragged around. I can't wait for the content. Might even bring Jack to bring his camera. I'll have to make sure I've done my rehab that day if they throw me around. How did your back go? A hit flexer popped out when he flipped me over.

Heather, our friend Heather, she said, I'd like you to have Alice Davidson and Richard as a guest. Kate should be able to arrange. Perfect. We can do that. Yeah. Very presumptuous. I will be able to arrange that.

I could also do that. Yeah, you know her. You know Alice. Pineapple on pizza, right or wrong? Fine. Absolutely no issue with that. I only recently started to like it, and I'm going to just throw one out there. I quite like chicken and pineapple on pizza.

Yeah, I don't mind that. You're all weird, though, and no one should ever listen to you about pizza toppings, because you eat tuna off a pizza? Yeah, yeah, I do. I've just had a pizza for my tea, actually, but didn't put tuna on it. Oh, yeah, look, and he said. Love a seafood pizza, fissier, the better. Seafood I get, tuna I don't get.

Tuna for me is like jacked potato or sandwich filling. Tuna, cheese and beans. On a pizza? No, I'm a jacket potato. Yeah. What? Beans with the tuna? Oh, God, stop it.

Stop it. Is Crossy planning on hitting the Combox at all this summer? Thanks for asking Molly because yes, I am. I've got the Roses game on Friday. Starting with a bang, and I've got edge-baston women's fifth T-20, and then I've got 100 games, so yes, I'm busy, busy starting. Wait, wait, wait, are we doing a game at the same time? Yeah, I thought it is.

Yes, can I have a look home? Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm just going to ask one more question. Okay. I'm just going to check this profile out because I'm a bit upset by it, actually. Anyway, Ian asks, has Alex got bigger in a lot? a certain area and then put two melons emojis the amount of people that have asked me if i've had them done crossy but it's just the fact i've retired and put on white i'm just not an

athlete anymore um i've got one more question sorry as alex had a bum done i do yeah what's a bbb no it's from ellie and she said rate the england team slash tms team slash your mates by how much you'd want to go to Glastow with them. Great question. So I reckon let's do the TMS box. I'll go through it with you. Okay. Jonathan Agnew. So it's one, number one, 10 in the bottom? As often, one out of ten is not very good. Ten out of ten means yes, I absolutely would do that. I'll say it's the other way around actually at the minute, isn't it? Okay, so Jonathan Agnew, I ain't going with Agnes, so one out of ten. Why? I have also. I've seen him on a dance floor in walkabout.

So actually, maybe, maybe he's like seven. Henry Moran. Nine. Solid. Finney. Yeah. Ten. Sir Alistair Cook. Three.

It'll probably go sheep hunting. Yeah, he'd go and ask bloody whatever, what's he called? The guy that owns the farm. He'd be asking him how he looks after his cattle in the winter. Yeah, it'd be like, watch your square footage. Like, how long's your grass? Yeah, not for me. I also just think he'd not.

not get involved whatsoever. I think he'd stand quite awkwardly in the middle of the crowd. Probably get, like, mixed up in a mosh pit by mistake and hurt himself. And absolutely, he'd be VIP, darling. Vip. Who else we got? Vic Marks. Oh, Vic.

He's not coming with me. Can't take Grandad Vic to Glastonbury. Andy Zaltzman, who, by the way, good batter. And we keep a keeper. Can bad. I'll take Zaltz because our music taste would be so different. we'd be like see at the tent buddy and also you'd just oh you're sharing a tent with him oh we're going to gastonbury also you'd be able to just see wherever he is because you'd see

the hair yeah who else have we got um ebony oh yeah yeah she'd get you in vipey yeah she would 10 out of 10 i would worry for my health because that girl can party isha she also knows a lot of people She'd get you on stage with someone. Yeah, for that, that goes down to a seven, I'd get the fear. Yeah, that's true. Although you did have a dance with Brendan Cole. True.

Dan Norcross. Okay, this is controversial, because if I was going on a road trip, Dan would be like number one, Henry 1, Dan 2, as in best and best. I'm going to go 5 for Dan because he, I think I'd lose him. I think I would lose him. He'd go too hard on day 1.

he'd end up face down in a field somewhere and we just wouldn't be able to revive him oh right okay that took a turn what about toughers then can't take him won't you take him with Dan and leave them we'll go as a three then two can go off and have a great time

and I'll go separate ways yeah nice nice good question I like that one thank you Ellie yeah I like that one I feel bad but yeah good place to finish it Do you reckon? Glastonbury, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, nice. Can I actually just finish it by saying, I actually cried last night, Rossi. Oh, God, like, because Louis Capaldi. Oh, that was two nights ago. Did you watch it? Yeah, and I... I need to watch it.

I actually cried. This is where me and you have got... When we want to listen to sad music, we put his album on, don't we? And we both found it out about each other recently. So we've got that in common. Yeah. Yeah, amazing that he's back.

Very, very pleased. He's doing a tour as well. Maybe we should go and see him on tour. I looked. I looked. If you're selected for the 50 other World Cup, we won't be going. Okay.

Me and Jack will be going. All right, nice. Yeah. Producer Jack, do you think this one might air? We might get there, yeah. Might get there. Might get there. A lot of heavy editing as per.

No. Don't be like that. No, just because you've got a mic, a new mic that you've got it for your birthday, you think you're all big dog and chatting on the podcast saying that we're no good at our job. Yeah, but look at it. It's a tiny mic.

Yeah. Who's got the biggest? It's not the size that matters. Should we compare mics? I've got a big one. I think Al's got the biggest. Yeah, Jack's is... I think mine's got the girth, hasn't it?

Yeah, mine's quite... It's not the size that matters. It's what you do with it. And that's... So they say... You can email us on. Noballspodcast at bbcc.c.com. Noblespodcast at vbc.c.com.

It's so good. They said it twice. Bye everyone, see you in a indefinite amount of time because we don't know when we record these things. Please are, please, please are, please are, please are, please are, please are. Yeah, that might get up played. On BBC Sounds, this is sports, strangest crimes. From the man who tried to buy cricket. One night, one game, one or take off, 20 US million dollars. The kidnap of a super horse. It must have been terrifying. Of course it was. How we got through a little bit on.

An ill-advised errands changing F-1 forever. It will haunt the people involved for as long as they live. A trillion-dollar takeover, which never took off. Broadsters of this level, they will never stop. The mysterious death of a superstar cyclist. Entering the world, a professional cycling was like joining the mafia. And teammates becoming bitter enemies at one of the biggest football clubs in the world. Betrayal, plots.

We've gone beyond women's football in France. Strangest Crimes. Listen on BBC Sounds.