Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - (a quickly run) Single All the Way!

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley, your favourite cricketing Christmas crackers, are back together again to talk festive icks, retro presents, and - oh yes - England's win in Pakistan!

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Every now and then, we'll say the word. Sometimes. Sometimes. And even maybe. But don't let that put you off with nice people. We beep them out. But your kids can listen. Enjoy.

And cross strikes in the first over. It's Waddingham. Looking for. Partley Falls down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Very well adapted. That was nice. That was a good one. This is the intimate podcast with me, Alex Hartley, and you, Kate Cross. Very well adapted. That was nice. That was a good one. This is the intimate podcast this week. We are sat 45 centimetres apart with one microphone between us looking into each other's eyes. But we're 45 centimetres apart. Let me give you a cuddle. Oh, it's nice to see you.

Why your eyelashes is so long? I've been using revitalised. They're so long. Other brands are available by the way. They look great. I'll you back. Yes, I'm home. Quick confession. The only reason I am here in your house is because I get my hair done. I get my hair done where you live. And I've rocked up and I've parked in your car park because you've got two spaces.

And I'm thinking, yes, getting my hair cut the day after I land. Yeah. It was meant to land today. So my hair is tomorrow. You got a flight home earlier because the men finished earlier. I am here to provide the context. And yeah, so you're like, we'll do the pod tomorrow. I'll come over.

We'll get some lunch. Not seen you for ages. Amazing. My hair's at half 11. Perfect. And then you text me, you're like, had a stinker. hairs tomorrow so I was like do you need to come up to the flag let me in

but it's great to see you I'm kind of glad that you're here I know I'm really glad you're here I'm not kind of glad you're here I'm really glad you're here yeah if you could leave now and actually we had a special reunion last night we did we went to spotty we went low key we thought well just go somewhere chilled yeah just throwing some clothes yeah just put on heels for the first time since your 30th my feet are in bit chill with Chris Hoy Why not?

So yeah, we went to sports personality of the year. Shout out, Beth Mead, the lionesses, just cleaning up last night. And I got quite emotional, I don't know about you. I did. But there was so much, like, pro-women sport last night, and I was, like, amazing. Preach. Two winners that are women in the last two years. Yeah.

Having not had any for, like, 47 years. 17. All right. It's not let me to over-exaturate. No, but what night? I left because my feet was so sore. I was actually talking to someone. I can't remember who it was.

It might be one of the hockey girls. And you grabbed my shoulder. And I was like, oh God, is she alright? What's going on? You were trying to put your shoes back on, but you're using me as your stable base. I had to take them off because, you know what? When they're burning.

Yeah. Burning. And I was like, right, I'm going to take them off for a minute. And I was like, I should probably put them back on. I'm not spotty. Yeah, there is that. You were in a room full of very famous people with no shoes on. But it's also the fact that you've been wearing Averald

the beans outfits for the last 17 months so you've not had to wear heels well i put a like a little pick on my instagram story my most replied to picture ever because i think people were shocked and stunned you look like a woman the fact i didn't look like a lad but i must admit i got in last night and emma lamb stayed here um and as soon as i got home to help my dress off put my sweats on i was like i'm happiest in my sweats like i've come to yours in joggers and a hundred i feel so much better Yeah, we're comfortable. Yeah. And when we're comfortable, we do great podcasts.

Well, here's to hoping. How are you? I'm good, thank you. You might be able to tell them a bit poorly. Yeah. But I'm okay, I'm okay. So I'm really glad we're sat so close together. This is like anti-COVID when you had to be five meters away from everyone when they were poorly.

Yeah. Now we're just as close as we possibly can be. We are literally nose to nose. I feel a bit uncomfortable. It's weird, actually. I don't quite like having eye contact, so I just keep looking around. So, a bit awkward Anyway, you good?

I'm good, are you? Yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm tired. Jet lag is not a myth. Yes! Finally! What happened? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning for a wee. Actually, I did go back to sleep, I just woke up for a wee.

Jet lag's a myth. So maybe jet lag is a myth, maybe I just needed a wee. You just needed a wee? Yeah, so I went back to sleep until quarter past 10. Oh right, yeah, jet lag's a myth then. Yeah. But you look, so you're like, so you're like a myth. literally got back yesterday you've been out in pakistan we will talk about christmas by the way

because this is the christmas episode but you um witnessed history oh my i forgot about that it's just where you've been out for the last four weeks wow ben stokes brendan mccullum sir and sir what a trio a trio what a double act duo duo oh i'm not well yeah you look well you been ill i told you i'm bad at maths um yeah history they no one has ever clean swept Pakistan in Pakistan before. It is incredible. And they, like, went into that third test match, and you just knew they were going to win. It was... It was really odd. It was actually, the question was, how quickly can they win? Not when are they going to win?

Yeah, turned up on day two and went down into the middle. So every day I've gone out onto the pitch. That's my mate, my broad bats. He goes, welcome to the last day of cricket in 2022. Did he? And they nearly did it. They nearly did it. They tried, didn't they? I saw a stat saying in England tried to knock off 180 today to finish a game in the last session. And this time last year they're playing against New Zealand and they couldn't chase down 150 or something. Like it was just a mad start about how different they are treating cricket at the minute. It is really odd and it just makes so much sense.

Yeah, it is. But I actually, it was the day that I was very poorly and I was watching it in the morning and I fell asleep but I woke up when a wicket fell and it was when Ahmed was out And I was like, oh no, what, what? I was like, we hate down, what's happened? And then I saw that they'd sent him in at three. Why not? If you just couldn't love this team anymore, they do that.

Amazing. Oh, so good. So, yeah, they finished early, so I came home early. I had a big night. Big night. Big night. The travel was a struggle. You were...

Well, I hadn't been to bed. Yeah, so you were drunk getting on the plane. Yeah, I was playing golf on the, because all the lads left. I went into the team room, went on the golf simulator. Oh, that's cool. It's a hot golf simulator. I know. I was like, oh, like, are you having to take this home?

And they're like, no, no, no. It's staying for the New Zealand boys that are spending Christmas Day in Karachi. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Why? Yeah, because they start on the 28th of December. Oh, right, okay. They've got a series over there.

I was just looking at my sticky notes then, and I actually don't. Oh, no, I do have something. I do. This is what I wanted to talk about last week, but it didn't fit. Have you seen the story about Sean Paul? Shondapal. Shandapal. It's actually, Chandapal.

Chandapal, yeah. So we all thought, didn't we, this whole time, we've been like, is he saying Chanderpaw? Yeah. And he actually is. Is he, though? Yeah, so he's come out and done an interview and said he saw a cricketer called Chander Paul. Chander Paul.

I've got a great video of you at home in the KSL, rapping that song to Almond Preak Court. And she's like, what are you doing? What is going on? Very good. Might release that sometime soon. Good. A little treat.

I've not got anything. I've got reverse sweep, hit onto stumps, Sean Massoud, 24 or 43. These are your notes again, aren't me? Yeah, they just all merge. Yeah. Forget to take your iPad to the game, did you? Yeah, it ran out of battery.

There it is. There it is. So in typical Hartley fashion, you are here because of a mistake that you made. because you didn't know what day it was. It is the Christmas episode. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

We've not done a single thing Christmas yet. So, should we sing them a song? Yes. You choose. Um, oh God, pressure. Under pressure. No, I don't want to sing that or I want to sing Christmas one. Merry Christmas, everyone.

I don't know the rest. Snow is falling. All around. us children playing having fun that's enough for that um Merry Christmas everyone we hope you're all in the spirit we've got my tree up have you noticed I'm so proud of you because last year you could tell you had depression do you know what Al people have depression at Christmas and it shows in their decorations yours is all right you you gave me so much stick for that tree yeah no it's very it's very empty isn't it it's just it's just it's

It's a thin tree. I mean, you've got like those, what do you call these that aren't tinsle? Beads. You've got, who has beads on a Christmas tree? It's 2002, not 1990. Well, I want to talk about this because I've wrote that on my sticky note, actually, but one of my, I was going to do some Christmas X, like, have people got Christmas X? And one of my Christmas six is tinsel.

Yeah. I hate it. So what do you put on your tree if you're not putting tinsel on your tree? Beads. I don't think you do. No. Well, do you know what, though? I used to wear them to school discos.

That says more about you than my tree. Do you know what I've thought, though? Do you know the tree, the dead tree? Yeah. I think that would look better if we decorated that than that tree. Yeah, I'm going to get you a new tree. I got one last year. You got me that?

Did I? Do you not remember we went to like B&M and it was about 18 pound in the sale? But I love that one and I actually do like it because the lights already come on it. I'm going to just stand up and have a look. Okay. She's just getting up I'll just walk you through this Oh she's taken her

It is empty It's just a thin tree Yeah You know they can't hear you You are 14 metres away from the microphone now It's got some lovely presents under it Yeah I've not wrapped them yet Isn't it?

She's now spotting all my Christmas decorations So yeah the tree's up Have you got any Christmas X? Beads Beads on a tree What do you put on yours then? Mine. Mine's like fancy. It's coming with like snow. Oh, she's fancy. It's going to be like snow on with the lights already on and it's got acorns on it already. Wasn't he a singer? Yeah, acorn was on when I got back.

Lonely. That's me. Do you still have a picture of me on top of your tree because I'm a star? No. No. No. Because mum put my tree up as a nice surprise for me this year. Cute. She's not decorated how I would like, sorry, mum, but I'm not going to redo it because it's Christmas like tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. I was obviously really touched and humbled when you used that mugshot photo of me on top of the tree. It was a lovely touch.

I've still got the picture. Well, we should put that on social media because it makes me feel good. I've got another Christmas it. People who write Xmas. Instead of saying, can you? I don't know if you could hear that. stomach. I'm hungry.

She's hungry. Yeah, people who write X-mas rather than Christmas. Oh. What are you doing with all that spare time from just writing an X instead of Christ? I do that. Do you? Yeah, but you don't know how to spell it, yeah. I reckon it took me a long time to learn how to spell Christmas.

Like a long time. Probably, like, only learnt recently. That's a shame, Al. And it's a shame that you've had to admit that on a podcast that a lot of people. And do you know bananas? I do you know bananas? Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell bananas. This shit is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S There's three letters in bananas So for you not to be able to spell that It's getting them the right way around though in it We do know that you are dyslexic My Christmas ick People that go out Christmas Eve Really?

Huge it What are you doing? Ruining Christmas Day Why? Go out boxing day, that's the one What if that's the only day to see your mates? Well it's not just organise another day.

Yeah, but what if it's not? Well, don't get legless. Yeah, I do think people who are hung over on Christmas Day, that's a tough day in their head, isn't it? Yeah, pathetic. You're cowards, the lot of you. Should we see if anyone's written on Sunday Christmas icks on Instagram? Yeah.

Here's a Christmas ick from Zach. I hate people who start playing Christmas music before December. Yeah, yeah. the year I was not in a good place I put my Christmas tree up in November just to try and bring some sparkle Did you? Oh it was a tough time for you wasn't it?

Is Nick? It's not Christmas related but I'll say it anyway People regularly update in their Facebook status Is that still a thing? Who's still on Facebook? Not me? No, I'm not on Facebook anymore Well I am but I've got 12 people on there

Oh you still got Bebo? MySpace. Oh, you still love those? another ick and again not christmassy a mullet walking back from bowling in nets how is that an ick

walking back from bowling in the nets well yeah because you've got to look over your shoulder ain't you and make sure make sure the next person doesn't bowl the ball so she's saying walking back literally like backwards

no no no when you walk back and you do that little shuffle like the quick walk back to the top of the to you're out of the way men invest is a major ick. Ick of people who brag about their presents on SM.

Social media. Who's bragging about the presents? Surely not. Oh, do you know what I hate? Ick. People that get on engaged Christmas Day. Yeah, it's an easy present at, isn't it? Yeah.

So you're hoping you don't get engaged this year then? Jeez, it'd be a miracle. And it's, people who put random veg on Christmas dinner, sweet corn, mushy peas, Who is that? Guess. Who is that? Jack.

Jack, who? Jack rule, long time listener. Jack. Here's a Christmas question. When you put up a Christmas tree, what goes on first? Lights, tinsel or decorations? Decorations! Always the lights.

Well, my lights were already on the tree, which is why I like it. You just plug it in. It's quite clever that, actually. Yours is the same. Yeah, but I put extra lights on it. So your tree comes with lights and you put light... You're not well of. Anyway, should you do some questions?

Let's do some questions. Christmas question. Hi Kate and Alex. I've loved listening to the podcast this year and enjoyed watching you both play cricket and listening to your commentate. Alex and Henry on TMS, the Dream Team. I have a Christmas question for you.

Was there anything you really wanted for Christmas when you were a child but you just never got? For me, it was a Mr Frosty Slushy Maker. I eventually got one years later when I was at university and it was super disappointing and impossible to use Happy Christmas

or New Year Easter summer socialising depending when you see this Hope you have a lovely break Thanks Nicola That has just unlocked a core memory of mine Because I had a Mr Frosty Sushi Maker Yeah

Well I was, there was three of us in the house So it was easy buying presents for us Because if one kid wanted something Then everyone got it but yeah it was ridiculous so you had a hat and you had to like put the ice you took the hat up

put the ice in the hat and then you'd smash him down on the head and then he'd come out of his mouth or his belly or something and it was like you put Vinto in it to make it flavoured or whatever sounds hard it was really difficult especially as like a five year old

you're smashing this penguin up but yeah that's really just unlocked to call memory but a present that I always wanted I've got one always always wanted it and mum and dad said absolutely not

are you having this because you'll hurt yourself your brother will break an ankle you're just both not having them heelies yeah good one really good one I didn't have heelies

because I was 18 when they came out and for anyone that wanted healies I don't know what heelies are they're a shoe with a wheel in the heel and you heelies

healies it's clever And you just roll around the supermarket. They were so fashionable they got banned in public. Yeah. So a lot of kids, like they ran and then they'd just do this thing where they lifted the toe up and they were like sliding around. So jealous. Yeah, it is a good one that.

I know, I never had Helies. I always wanted, you know, the little cars that you could get before you were obviously able to drive, like the little remote, but you could sit in them. We had one when we were very, very little, but it was Jens. And I was never allowed to drive it. So that was a shame. What a sheltered life I lived Hello Kate Hartley and Alex Cross

Maybe we've got engaged Congratulations to you Thank you both for the pod It makes me laugh Kate congratulations on the ODI series Win in the West Indies and Alex It's great to hear you in Pakistan As it's nearly Christmas

I've put together a Christmas cricket quiz for both of you All the answers are puns So producer Henry should approve And answers are at the bottom God knows how this is going to go because I know how your brain works with stuff like this. At about 3 o'clock, we'll all gather around the telly to watch which Australian leg spinner speak to the nation.

Right, let's work this out. At 3 o'clock on Christmas Day, that's the Queen's, well, was the Queen's speech, the King's speech. I would... Australian Leg Spinner, Alana King. So it must be Alana King's speech. Right, I was thinking of Shane Warren. Right, okay.

This is going to be hard. You're going to struggle with this. Let's check the answer. Yeah, the Alana King speech. Well done with me. Point for me. Number two. Which former England captains are responsible for growing and roasting parsnips and potatoes?

Cook. Cook? There's two. Which former England captains? Root? Root vegetables? Oh, yeah. Cook and root?

Joe provides the root vegetables. Alice de Cook cooks them. Yes, well done us. Number three, which New Zealand captain is best. drunk warm with a slice of orange. What's the mulled wine that we drink? Yeah, mulled wine. What's that drink mulled wine?

Oh, that's a tough one. I don't know that one. New Zealand captain. Divine. Sophie Devine. Wine? Mold wine. Sophie Dauveine. Sophie Mould divine. Yes. Mould divine. Yay.

They're doing well. Michael Buebla is dreaming about which England T20 opening batter. Of a white Christmas. Tammy. A Danny Wyatt Christmas. Wyatt Christmas. That's a tough one. Number eight, which Namibian is visiting Jesus

with gold, frankincense and mer? Oh, I know this one. Go on. Oh, I actually know him. Come on. And I'm going to get so annoyed when you tell me the answer. You do know him. He played in a hundred.

What? I know, I've got strong. Trumpleman. The three wise trumple man. No, the David Visa wise men. Visa men, vice men. Have a lovely Christmas, Sam. Kate and Alex, love the podcast and thanks for all your entertainment you provide on the pitch and behind the microphone.

My Christmas question, what is your favourite song? Thanks, Ian. We sang it earlier. Merry Christmas everyone. No. Navi Dad. My favourite Christmas song is Step Into Christmas by Alison John.

Wow. Good tune. Hi Alex. Oh. I just wanted to congratulate you on suggesting they pick Rayan Armoured for the last test. Just wanted to check whether you and Agas

have made up with Vic after his unexpectedly choleric reaction to the suggestion. This is surely a major commentator's burn. I know you're all mates, but he must owe you a mince pie or two after that keep up the great work. For anybody that wasn't listening, which will be a lot of you,

I suggested that they should play Rahan for the last test and potentially was like, because Jack Leach is, you know, going to go to New Zealand, blah, blah, blah, he could have a rest. Vic Marks nearly blew up, his head nearly fell off. He argued and argued and it was so funny. What did he say when he was getting the wickets then? Well, we just kept, we winding him up and just tell him Jack Leachie's graph. But obviously he isn't.

He's not. Jack Leach, you don't listen to this podcast, but shout out to you, being the most, the man who took the most test wickets in a calendar year, in the world, on this planet, congratulations, Jack. And 100 test wickets. Hello. Boom, fellow tweaker, I love Jack Leach. Played a game. I've one bounce with him the other day. Very nice.

Lost pig. He had to flick me on the forehead so hard that my head went so red. Oh. Anyway. Is it my turn? I just read that one out? Oh, yeah. That one that was just to you. Yeah, weird.

even know that was to me. Just congratulations Alex. Hi Alex and Kay. I have a question for you based on Christmas specials for your Christmas special podcast. Who would do better? Kate on Strictly Come Dancing, assuming you would partner with Giovanni or Alex on Great British Bake-off. Feel free to substitute of any of your teammates. Thanks for the laughs this year. Hope you both have a great Christmas and New Year and all the best for your entertaining cricket and exceptional commentary in 2023. Thank you, James. Well, for the fact, I can't bake, you on, you on dance off. Dance off. What's it called? Dance off is the thing you used to get with the dance mat, wasn't it? Strictly. Strictly. I think you'd do better than you think, oh no, you wouldn't

do well on Bake Off at all, because you have to be good at baking. And I'm good at Gusto because it comes with instructions. And there's a bit, in every episode of Bake Off where they don't give you instructions and you would crumble. Yeah. Right, dear Kate and Alex, I know this one's all about me so I'm going to read it out because I just had to read one out about you. I'll be to read it to you. Yeah, go on them. Oh, it's a long one.

Adam, the dad writes. As per the pictures, we were at the T20 versus India in Bristol back in September, which is the first professional match Kara has ever been to. This was the last one of the series when the trophy and medals were awarded. Kara is a young cricketer who was delighted to be picked out by Kate after the game

and you gave her your winner's medal! She was stunned and delighted at your generosity. Whenever she picks up the medal, she smiles with a great smile. Kara has just finished her first session of girls' cricket with a newly formed Waraburah. Warburrow Warriors' side. Warburrow Warriors' side.

We now have 25,000. girls playing regularly and a number including Cara are giving Pathway Cricket blah blah blah blah blah blah you have brilliantly inspired another young female cricketer thank you Kara the daughter writes Hi thanks Kate for giving me your medal

It was brilliant to see you and the girls at the T20 in Bristol Also well done on the matches in the West Indies this week I bought a new England shirt because I met you Oh that's cute And here she is with your winner's medal That is cute

That is cute. Well done me. Inspiring the next generation. And well done you for reading out Worabura Warriors. Hi guys. I hope your master's result was what you wanted, Crossie. I hope you enjoyed your time in Pakistan. Crossie, you need to tell everyone. I've got some news, everyone.

So I got my results of my dissertation this morning. And I have passed, which makes me officially, I've not graduated yet, but officially a sports dictator. Proud of you. proud of you. She's a director. A director, yeah. Clarify. Did you, are you bothered about the present that you pass by? Uh, well it was decent. Go on. Go on. I got 70%. Did you? Yeah. Yes. Because at one stage you were like, I just want to pass. Yeah. I did wonder if anyone would ask me that actually. Because when you say you pass, it's just like,

oh, well done. Yeah. But when you get a master's, do you get a first second or? I don't know that bit yet. I've not been given that. I just know I've passed my dissertation and I passed everything else. It's 70% though. I thought 70% was the first 69 was a two one. It's not two ones. You get like distinctions, merits and masters. Congrats on your distinction of your director. It might not be a distinction because I did do not very good on other stuff, but still. Oh well. Some questions.

Some questions. I got Christmas and questions mixed up there. Some Christmas themed questions for the pod. If pot noodle made Christmas specials, what flavour would you want them to make? Now you clearly are not pot noodle fan because they do a Christmas dinner pot noodle Do they actually? Yes they do. That sounds disgusting And if I don't have that wrapped under the tree

For Christmas Day my mum is being dumped Where is this pot noodle love come from? It hasn't, it hasn't. It has been taken so out of context So travel the subcontinent many, many times Take pot noodles? You take food that you know you can just add hot water to and heat up So I've taken a pot noodle for every single day of the test match So every day at the test match

Agus is having a cheese sandwich and he's giving me stick for having a pot noodle he's had a cheese sandwich every day for three weeks right? That's like such a kid's pat lunch Yeah I've got cheese sandwich I've like well I've got four different flavours of pot noodle

I've got Christmas dinner in a potty I guess what are you on about So I'm not obsessed with pot noodles I just had one every day when we're working It became a thing I'm still the ice cream girl What are your favourite Christmas games Will the podcast Top Trump's

make an appearance this year. Oh yeah, well we need to find them. I think they're in my games covered. A family favourite of ours is Trivial Pursuit. We also have a game of Trivial Pursuit, classic. And we also play a game where you partner up with someone and we call it name in the hat, it's probably got a proper name, but you've put loads of famous celebrities in a hat, you've got to describe them to your partner, you've got 30 seconds to do it, just always play that Christmas. Nice. We have a thing every year where you have to bring one game. so we always have it got to be a new game a new game okay new games every year

although last year my brother got me game of life which was my favourite game as a kid so he re-bought it me which is really sweet but what I did when I was younger is all my favourite cards from game of life I ripped the corner off so I knew which ones to pick oh you're cheap you search a little cheat

yeah little rat bag you had pie face one year didn't you like your grandma was playing playing pie face yeah great great game did you take advent calendars to the west indies in pakistan no i've got a bone to pick with my mum here it's this the first year she's not bought me an advent cal i know i'm 31 i know but it's the first year she's not bought me one mine is as well you know and i could blame the fact that i haven't been in the country since october there is that in addition to chris tremlett which cricketers would you invite for christmas dinner um So that we could get him on the podcast?

No, embarrassing, crossy. No, we're going to get him on, all? No, I'm not. I'm not turning up. He's ignored my text. He's ignored Henry Moran's text. He's ignored the England manager's text. I saw him on the last night in Pakistan,

and I was like, you're embarrassing. Did you say it to him? I was like, you, you've hurt me. What did he say? Shut up and get a corona. Did he? Something along those lines. Right, okay.

So he's definitely not coming on then. No, he's not familiar. I wish, Joe, Joe, if you're going to listen to this, which you probably won't. I just wish you would say something to us. Just say no. Sometimes saying no is better than not saying anything. Yeah. Here, here.

Yeah. And this was the year that Chris... And this was the year that Joe Root broke our hearts. You done? Yeah. Dear Crossy and Alex, thanks for reading my email. Well, that was very presumptuous. I love you both.

You both are funny and all other things. Winky-faced. Oh. My icks. Wow, there's 12 written down here. 12 X. I'll fly through them. Number one.

People getting up immediately after the plane lands. Yeah. Great one. Yeah. Really, really good. That does want you. But also people that sit there for ages. That's their plane lands.

Yeah. What you're doing? Yeah. Number two, delete for everyone feature on WhatsApp, especially when someone asks what I've deleted. That is annoying when someone deletes a message. Yeah, but sometimes you go. Sometimes you do have to.

Number four, when you push a Poldaw. Yeah. Five, making sounds while sipping on tea or coffee. Number seven, when people can't take compliments. Now I'm going to defend this one, because I can't take compliments. I can't either. So I'm like, you look nice. I'm like, no, I'm fat.

Yeah, yeah. Literally. I actually look lovely today. Oh my God, but it took me forever to do my makeup. Like, oh, your hair looks nice. Oh, I'm getting it done next week. What? Like, just say thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm very bad at that. Number eight, changing songs without completion on car rides. Oh, no. Sometimes I'm in 30-second mood, so I'm a flicker. You're a 30-second flicker. Yeah. Yeah, nice.

My stomach making sounds when I'm fasting. I'm more worried that someone might hear it. Well, that was Alex on the podcast just now, and she's not fasting. Yeah. 11. Friends posting selfies where I look stupid. Oh, no. Oh, that's funny. I do it across the old time.

Yeah, we do it all the time. There was too many. I've just skipped a few. Dear Kate and Alex. Well, this is, I can only preview this one. This is, you fixed my batting. Oh, I've got that one of. Shall I read it? Dear Alex and Kate, you two answered one of my emails on the pod in around April

about my terrible batting and just wanted to update you that I'm actually batting a lot better this season. It's in New Zealand, by the way, so there's summer. Your advice to just hit the ball actually worked out for me And finally, I'm getting double figures, which is such a sleigh. Yes. What done? Slay.

Slay. Also, quick thanks for being my emotional support podcast and helping me survive exam season, which has just finished, and all of my worst days. Not surprising, you were my top podcast on the old Spotify rap this year. The two of you have made my day so many times. I appreciate you both. And that's from Arena. And she says, P.S., my slight LBW is that I have a photo album in my phone

of all my favorite outfits because I can't remember what goes well together out of the clothes that I own. My friends reckon I should just keep them in my head like everyone else. It's actually pretty clever. That's really smart. Yeah. Might use that. Yeah, well done you. Well done. Merry Christmas, Kate and Alex. I'm 14, a huge cricket fan and a massive fan of the podcast. The podcast has helped me as a bloke to get into women's cricket. I now follow matches for Thunder and England. I love that a 14-year-old has called himself a bloke. Yeah, good on you. Question for Alex. How did... No, this question's offended me. Nah. How did you get into journalism?

I'm not a journalist. You are? I'm not a journalist. You are. I'm a commentator. No Bulls of Cricket Podcasts with England Cricketer Kate Cross and journalist Alex Hartley. Would you rather be a journalist Alex Hartley or an ex-England cricketer Alex Hartley? Yeah, neither. I fell into it, but I'm not a journalist. I'm a commentator. I'm actually a summer. I'm actually a summarize a pundit is what i am isaac yes oh what's your favorite part about it my favorite part is the fact that i'm still connected to a team even though i'm not in a team if that makes sense yeah i think when you retire from professional sport that's what people fear missing the most isn't it's not not necessarily they're going out and getting whacked for 12s every week it's the being with

the team in the dress cream and that sort of stuff um the team in pakistan was slightly different to I'm used to. You had the over 60s, weren't you? Yeah, the over 60s. We were actually having dinner on the last day, and Simon Mann. I asked him a question and he said, what? I rolled my eyes. And he went, I bet you can't wait to get home. And I just went, yeah, I cannot wait. And

they were all like, what? And I was like, no, no, no, I just need a 30-year-old female. Yeah, oh, bless. And then the under said it. P-S. K, I'm still unhappy that you aired me at the 100 this year, but I'm sure one day I'll get over it. Ed? What does that mean? Does that mean pie? Yeah, you pied Isaac.

I'm sorry about that, Isaac. Hmm. Hmm. Um, I would not have done that intentionally. Shall we start thinking about wrapping it up? Yeah, wrapping it up. Full of them today. Yeah, I'd like some food.

Yeah, shall we go get some luncheon? Yeah, Merry Christmas, everyone. We all hope you have a wonderful Christmas. We're probably not going to be with you now until the new year. No, definitely not. Definitely not. We're having a little holiday. We're going to Cardiff.

We're going to Cardiff. No, seriously, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year with your families, loved ones, friends, whoever you're with. Don't forget, if you haven't got anybody over the Christmas period, you have got us to. You have got us. Go back and listen to some old episodes and we'll probably have said something inappropriate, which will make you laugh. Yes. Don't forget to email us on. Why are they emailing us? We're not going anywhere. Don't go anywhere? Don't go anywhere.

No, but we'll be back. All right, well email us for 2023. Wow. Happy new year. BBC.co.co.uk. Wait. Nobles podcast at bbc.c.com.com.com.com. Guys, we're back together. It was always going to be a shambles.

Nobles podcast of BBC.com. It's so good. They said it twice. And in sync. Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Merry Christmas. And a happy new year. And cross strikes in the first over.

It's what England we're looking for. Party balls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Can you remember the worst day of your life? How would you feel if someone told you that day never happened,

that you were being paid to make it up? For people who've lived through terrible disasters, this is a shockingly common experience. I'm Marianna Spring, the BBC's disinformation and social media correspondent. In the BBC Radio 4 podcast, Disaster Trolls, I investigate how people caught up in the Manchester Arena bombing and other UK terror attacks are being targeted with extreme conspiracy theories and abuse.

To hear the podcast now, subscribe to Disaster Trolls on BBC Sounds. Is that going to stay in this podcast? Well, it stayed on the BBC at the time. Wow, right, okay.