Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - Alex doesn't know how to hold a mug

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley explore an inbox full of remarkable emails. Plus, a trip to the Christmas market reveals Alex has a proper LBW habit…

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It's called Project Ashes. Over the last year, I've been speaking to the people who are in charge of England's attempt to win down under. It's loud. They let you know that they don't like you. Got to try and embrace it if you can. We're under no illusions. You know, in our last 10 test for 9-0 down. England have only won once in Australia in the last 34 years. But could that change this winter? And in comes Pat Cummins from the far-ready. Bowls to Stokes. who hammers it for four. I come up against this baggy green thing

that they keep talking about and I'd love to stick one up on. This is Project Ashes. Listen on BBC Sounds. Now, back to your podcast. Guys, this is your warning. We do swear, occasionally. Every now and then, we'll say the word.

Sometimes. Sometimes. And even maybe. But don't let that put you off with nice people. We beep them out. So your kids can listen. Enjoy. And cross strikes in the first over.

It's what England we're looking for. Hartley Falls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Hello and welcome back. to No Bowers of Cricket podcast with me, Kate Cross,

and you, Alex Hartley. Ahoi there. Oh, hi there. How are you, diddling? Oh, good, thank you. How are you? I just have a bit of an issue. Go on.

Stop banging your mic. That's for Emery. Emery tells us off every week because we don't know how to control our mics. So stop banging it. And I think it's me, but I'm going to blame you. Well, I blamed you. And I don't know why I'm doing this voice.

I think it's because you got a hat on and you look like a little leprechaun. Yeah, I've been cold since we came in from that walk. it's not been warm but the heating's been on yeah it's turned the weather's turned hasn't it's my fault i said it hadn't and now it has we went out last night and you were like tell you what it doesn't feel like winter and today it's been like three degrees oh we were walking for the metro link and you said something about sounding like a middle-aged woman because i think i was like oh the weather's not it's quite mild isn't it it's not turned yet

and you're like oh god you've turned 35 i was like i can tell you're 30 i was like i just want a mulled wine we had a nice little evening didn't we we went out for a wine a mold wine A mulled wine at the Christmas market Yeah, we did And that's where it came from you Like it doesn't feel like Christmas It's not cold Yeah, well it's not been cold

And today it felt like Christmas It's freezing So I got my hat on Got my hat on, I've had it on all afternoon And you shouted at me Because I had my hat on And my trainer's on at one point Yeah and I went to the toilet

I was sat in my room While you've been doing uni work And I was like, she's still sat there In a going out gears Hmm It's my habit though isn't my LVW Speaking of LVW's You did something yesterday

and I am so glad I saw it. No, right. I had to do it because you set me up. You set me up. You made a bagel and put jam on it. Yeah. You put the bread knife on the jam plate. So when I came to use a bread knife, it needed clean it.

So you washed the bread knife. So I washed the bread knife. Good. And someone actually, because we Instagrammed it, someone message saying, thank God, because that bread knife must be mucky. But I clean it every time I use it. So 50% mucky, 50% clean.

I've been using raisin bagels. therefore they do need wiping because the raisin residue gets on the bread knife. So you're okay, see, a lot of happens when I'm not here. Yeah, I've got to keep on top of these things. Anyway, how are you doing?

I'm all right, thanks you. All right, thank you. So actually, Grossey, 20 past 8. On a Sunday evening? And we're working. We just said we're clocking in now, aren't we? The grind never stopped. Never does.

I mean, we've done nothing all day. Speak for yourself. I've been slaving away at uni all day. So we thought we'd go. to work at half past eight on a Sunday. Dragged you out for a little walk. And we've got a weird story to tell about this walk that we do, haven't we? Yeah.

So I can't remember who I was talking to a couple of weeks ago, but someone told me that the village that I live in, someone owns a house that has got the elephant from take that tour that they did. The big tour, I can't remember the name of it. Take that World Tour. Might have been that. Yeah. You went to see it, actually.

Yeah, it was like 2014 or something. Yeah, it was a long time ago. But there was a massive elephant that they used, And it was like mechanically moved on stage, didn't it? Someone in this village has that elephant in their garden, in their back garden. And I went for a walk with Beck a couple of weeks ago, having just learnt this information a couple of weeks before. And I was like, oh my God, there it is. And I found it.

So I went to show it you today. And I was like, yeah, there's the elephant. Why is there a pig as well? And there was a cow. There's like a cow in someone. It was rogue. Very rogue. But so we found the elephant from the take that tour.

But that guy, apparently is the take that. manager or was he's got cash bear cash that house is big yeah anyway how are you yeah I'm good thank you I've been quite stressed this week again uni assignments but thankfully it'll be in next week so you won't have to hear me bang on about uni for another couple months um but yeah I'm good um slightly grumpy yesterday yeah I was I was like she needs to go to the gym I'm gonna go go with her see if I can cheer her up of it I wasn't was grumpy the right word I felt like I was in a good mood but I was in a short mood yeah things annoyed me quite quickly yesterday.

I was like, those eggshells on the floor, I'll just step around them. Just step around them, yeah. That's what you get when you live with someone. It kind of happened. Although we did, we had a little bit of a word with each other, maybe about five days ago, didn't we? You had a few red flags on me

and I had a few red flags on you, and I was like, are we both declining? Don't need to get the sad lamp out. So you've got this sad lamp, haven't you, that your mum bought you this time last year. And basically it's like a sunbed for your face. Yeah. It's great.

It's not. Like, my retinas still have not recovered from this time last year. I'm like, honestly, can't look directly at it because then you get that, you know, and you can see the sun if you look directly. Yeah. It's like 45 minutes afterwards. You get that if you look at it.

Not good. But we've not got it out, so we're doing all right. No, we're good, we're flying. And we hope everyone else is, because it is that time of year, isn't it? It's dark nights, it's dark mornings. We hope you're all doing all right. Stick to your good routines. We've come up with something today, actually, with these dark nights.

You hit like a 5pm wall. Yeah. And you get to 5pm, you're like, I think I should be going to bed. And that 5pm wall was so realistic this week that when I came back from the coffee shop I was doing working on Friday at 5pm, you were in bed. I had to get you out of bed to cook some tea.

You went, is it bedtime? I was like, no, I'm just so tired. You were so sleepy, bless you. Have you got anything on your sticking out this week? Let me just check. Let me open them up. No. I do.

Going back to that bagel thing. shock you've got nothing on you sticking out death taxes and me doing all the work on this podcast and I gain half the money someone sent us the most horrific story about how you cut your bagel yeah so I told you the story of Beck cutting a finger on an avocado and you should never cut food in your hand yeah you might slip and you said you were going to try and do a different technique the next day someone sent us a message saying that their friend sleepily, it might have even been them, didn't know that their finger was through the bagel and cut the bagel how you did in that video and now of like missing half of their finger because of

it. I mean how stupid do you have to be to not realise your fingers through the whole of the bagel? And to then carry on cutting. At what point did it hurt? Must have been a sharp knife. It's actually gross, isn't it? Sorry to the person who is actually missing their finger though we feel sorry for you but it was a gross story. And also next time don't be finger through the hole. They've not got a finger to put through the hole now. But we actually, speaking of bagels. Why are we talking about bagels?

We were discussing the other day. We were discussing, the hole is so pointless and unnecessary and makes buttering and jamming bagels difficult. It's like you said, doing this, it's like a work of art. It is, because you've got to go round and go round. Like a piece of bread, just slap it on. Round and round. And then you jam falls through the hole, so you've got to collect your jam.

I wish you could see what she's doing. I'm acting it out. It's working. And I said it's a treat when you get one of those bagels that's squashed and there's not a hole. No hole in it? Yeah. Maybe someone needs to make a no-hold bagel. Would it then be called a piece of toast?

Taste different then, doesn't it? Yeah. How good is the T-10? 10. It is mental and you said a good tweet the other day. You should say it again. Right. So during the World Cup the average score was 135 in 20 overs, T20 World Cup.

This, T10, they're scoring 140 in 10 overs and teams are chasing it down. Someone tweeted, didn't they say? What's wrong with cricket? Is it broken? Why is cricket broken? But we've worked it out. They're playing on 12-yard boundaries. Yeah, we did. We figured it out today, didn't we? Yeah, and it's not hard to work out because there's

actually a grass stain where the LED lights and where the boundary of the World Cup games was so it's about 40 yards in yeah and then everything else is a lot closer to play I think I watched Phil salt but yesterday good old Manchester original's Phil Salt Lancashire and Lancashire now I just signed he like top edge this ball and it like went towards long off and it went for six I was like no one he didn't get any runs in the hundred because the boundaries are 20 yards bigger oh gosh can you can you imagine what our figures would be if we played in this T-10 yeah but we also said we could get a gig because every man is dog yeah everyone's playing aren't me

on the telly and it's like, how have they got on there? It's like watching like Nott's versus Somerset play, isn't it? Yeah, with a few other overseas. It's like a faf-do pussy in there. Yeah, but I've enjoyed it. Obviously, there's no cricket to watch now. We got a bit sad, the War Cup finished. We do have some exciting news for everybody.

Do we? Yeah. So, our next guest is live from Australia. Oh, yeah. In quarantine. And he's going to give us the inside scoop. he doesn't know it yet no he doesn't we've not really spoke to we've just locked him in for a date haven't we should we tell them who it is or should we leave it i reckon leave him hanging all right maybe they've got a guess

yeah nice i mean there's one of 35 people to choose from yeah and we've also got an ashes correspondent three ashes correspondence whoever can turn up when we're recorded the podcast whoever's not hungover because henry moran our producer also guest of the podcast fan of the podcast yeah member of the podcast really. Stephen Finn. Yeah. Two-time attendee of the podcast. Yes. And Eleanor Oldroyd are all out with BBC TMF. Yet to make her podcast debut. Yeah, maybe. She actually has no clue. She signed up for this. No one does really. We just messaged Henry last night, didn't we? Yeah. What do you think? And he's like, yeah, great. Sounds good. He doesn't know what he signed up for. Anyway, so we can bring you the ashes from Australia. That's the plan.

That's the plan. That's our plan. I've got written down, a bit crickety, bit not. I had an incredible opportunity last week to sit on a stage with Stephen Fry. How good? It was pretty incredible. Yeah. And a few things happened which I want to talk through. So for anyone that doesn't know, I went to be on the panel of the Cowdery Lecture,

which is a very famous lecture given every year by someone associated with the MCC, or not even necessarily associated with them but associated with cricket quite a prestigious event and I got to go and be the panel on the panel sorry and Stephen Frye I was the panel

it was the Kate Cross panel with Stephen Frye as a guest yeah I bottled asking him to come on the podcast by the way I was going to bring that up did you ask him because you're like I'm going to ask him I'm going to ask him I really psyched myself up for it but I was just it just didn't feel right

and I genuinely think he'd make us look like idiots. Why? You listened to his lecture. I did. By the way, everyone should go and listen to it because I genuinely was like captivated for 45 minutes listening to him talk about our sport and how he just made it sound incredible, didn't he? Like his use of language. And just everything that he spoke about was so relevant to cricket today. Yeah, and obviously everything that is going on at the moment and it's quite a difficult time for our sport but I just thought he spoke so eloquently

and it just made so much sense to me and it was just brilliant but go listen to it 45 minutes but worth it crossy comes in about 49 minutes in I do so either turn off then or just listen to me yabber on on my panel um why was I talking to you about this because you had a pretty incredible opportunity it was on your sticky note yeah I had a few things to talk about I can't remember anyway one thing that's good we've got a podcast you don't know what you're talking about no I just I just forgotten why I got onto that train. I thought it was amazing. He was brilliant.

You should listen to it. But I made a mistake. Oh no. I thought it was a black tie event. Oh, okay. So did you go dress to the nines? I had a play suit on, which I think I got away with it,

was dressy enough to be on the panel, to be the panel. And it was casual enough that I looked okay. Yeah. You look really nice. nice actually thank you so my mom and dad came down because i said to them i was like there's there's really never going to be another opportunity that i'm on stage with stephen fry at lords for this so i think you should come so like emailed the mcc i was like please can i get two guests they're like yeah no

problem we'll put them on the top table with you and i don't know where i got it from but i saw that it was a black tie event turns out it was a jacket and tie event and my dad oh no i had a little dicky bow on He had his, like, suit on with his lapels, and I felt awful. I bet he looked great. He looked fab, and, like, how often do you get to wear your dicky-bow? Yeah. He felt like James Bondi said. Oh.

Yeah. Until he got there. Until he got there, and he was like, have you done this on purpose? And it normally would be something I would do on purpose. Yeah. But I didn't. I genuinely made a mistake, and he was mortified, and we had to go and ask the waiters if they had a spare tie, and someone gave me one from a charity that they're involved in.

And I've made a donation to the charity, it's all fine now but I've just felt really bad of my dad I mean I feel like you said to me you're like right so my dad was really really upset there's nothing to be upset about not if you're not if you are that person there's everything to be upset about it's like non uniform day and you turn up in your uniform yeah yeah and no one really cares but you're so aware of it so it got me thinking have you ever been horrendously overdressed or horrendously underdressed at an event That's a great question I don't think I have

I don't think so Other than the time It was a fancy dress And I don't know what you're going to have to tell me What the theme was Oh so the theme was Disney princesses And I went at Shrek

So I like full head to toe green Made like this Shrek outfit It was great and a Shrek mask Got there Everyone thought it was brilliant Only for someone to tell me Shrek's not even Disney oh Pixar yeah oh shame yeah so I got the whole wrong end of the stick I just it made me laugh

because I remember you're showing me the photo of all your mates dressed in like fairy tale outfits of these gorgeous princesses with the hair all done and you were to toe in green paint with I had a mask on I had a mask on and I kept it on all night and then someone was like take your mask off so I did but I'd done my face full green as well and they were like for God's sake I was like surprise went out round town fully green amazing so yeah I stitched my dad up basically have you ever been to an event

nor that I can remember when we go to like England events it's quite nice because they tell you to wear your England suit only more often than not so you can't over dress yeah you can't get it wrong really but no I genuinely can't think of anything although fancy dress potentially

we had a millennium party at the cricket club so when 2000 happened and everyone was like dressed to the like just amazing fancy dress my sister went as Liz Hurley which a bit weird because she was like 14 and my mum made her this dress that was all like pinned at the side very raunchy for a 14 year old and then the pictures of me I'm in a full bugs buddy outfit like a proper onesie that's got the big head on it and my mum gave me a carrot I was only like seven but I just walked around and I couldn't take it off because I'd not want to talk I didn't wear clothes underneath it either

so I couldn't take it off all the night I was a bit of a shocker I was just dead hot that's like when you're a kid and you go trick-or-treating and your mum used to be like put a t-shirt on underneath because it's called outside

and you like got a bin bag on yeah but no I can't think of any events like that but yeah sorry dad if you are listening he won't listen to this he'll listen to it in four years yeah and he'll probably forgive him by then there is something from the Cowdery lecture

I want to talk about Okay. So I was cooking my dinner and I had it on my phone and then I had the sudden realization that I could put it on the TV. You just have to do the screen sharing thing. So I put it on the TV and Claire Connor fell off a chair. Do you know, like the one thing you really fear when you go on stage is like missing the seat when you're in a dress or a skirt and a t-shirt and she missed the chair

and fell off the chair and it is the first thing I text you about. Oh bless her because like you said it's that they're the things that you are always like don't do this don't do this don't do it and then you do it and you're really embarrassed but I remember they'd even said to me they rang me on the Tuesday the people from the NCC to say you're going to be on a tall stool so dress appropriately yeah so the thing I had was like trousers so it was fine but yeah Claire bless her her face I caught I went to catch her and then you stitched me up because you said to her or the only thing Alex took her from that event was you falling off your chair. Because I looked at my phone after it had all finished and the only message I had from you was Claire fall off a chair. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So good.

Anything else on your sticky note or your blankety blank? My sticky note was really empty and I've had stuff to talk about this week and I forgot to write it down so. Okay, well we discovered something else at the Christmas markets which really needs bringing to people's attention. It's your LBW that we've just discovered.

Who taught you how to hold a mug? I don't know But it's really strange I've never noticed before But I only noticed last night Because my finger was really aching And it was because it was not in the mug So you hold

You have your index finger Flying around out of the whole of the mug You hold it with your little finger The finger next to that And your middle finger Oh what I do is I put all four in at once But me and James Who we were with

The guy that we were with Listener James Notice this And then you couldn't hold your mug in any other way. So it's like, I was like, you were like, hold it in your other hand, and I held it normally. Normally, yeah. So I think maybe I'm just protecting my spinning finger.

Well, I was going to ask, like it did look at some point, like you were holding the mug as if you were going to bowl a douchev. Yeah, so maybe, I don't know. But yeah, so that finger's out, and I just put three fingers in the hole, and then let that finger just roam around. And me and James tried it, and it felt very unstable. Yeah, I used my thumb as a stabiliser to put it on top. Yeah, strange.

Odd, little LBW that we discovered. Also in LBW, the fact I went to the Christmas market is in my cricket jacket. No, that was just really sad. Well, I didn't have a waterproof coat, and you stressed me out saying it was raining. You offered me a coat, but it just didn't go in my outfit, so I put on a black rain jacket. A cagool that had North Westlander plastered on it. Yeah.

But then we got spotted. Well, we think we did. We're not sure, are we? I reckon he probably went, those two girls who got cricket gear on. Your words were, if we get spotted at the Christmas markets, that's ultimate fame. Ultimate, yeah. I don't think we did. Well, I think from what you said we did.

Yeah, potentially. I missed the first bit, but then the guy next to the guy was like, what do you mean? And he went, oh, those girls there and pointed at us to. So you don't know. Maybe they just thought we were fit. Or maybe he was going, that girl there holds her mug in a really weird way. And we've got a rain jacket on. She got a school cagull on.

So we've not got a guest. week but that opens us up to be able to open up our emails for the first time in 17 weeks literally it could be a long time so should we go upstairs who do you want to go upstairs with i mean the one and only surely see redfern yeah okay we're going back upstairs with sue sue i've missed you Grandad Rod's been back in touch. Is he actually? Yeah. Hi Kate and Alex.

In this gut wrenching time for a cricket follower, it was good to find harmony in the podcast. After listening to Jamima Rodriguez, I discovered via YouTube that she can also play guitar, jamming with Mark Butcher and accompanying Laura Woolfart singing the song Fall in Love Again. I think Laura actually wrote that song, didn't she? Did she?

Yeah, I think she wrote her when she was like 16. Wow. Laura is such a talented musician, a songwriter, Fall in Love Again on YouTube, is a knockout. Thanks for bringing some cheer at a miserable time for cricket. By the way, as a granddad, I worry about Alex coming home worse for where at 2am, but what can you do? Stay safe and well, Granddad Rod.

Granddad Rod. Granddaddy Rod. Thanks for getting back in touch. Oh, granddaddy. Here's one, best prank ever. Hello, Kate and Alex. Hope the two of you are doing well. Alex being coerced into washing her bread knife was the best part.

of last week's social media from you to keep up the good work the immense joy you to bring with the podcast and with the social media apart from your cricket is just another level i'm writing to both of you hope you read this at least if it doesn't make it into the episode because you are going to enjoy this link crossy watch out because i'm pretty sure among the two of you Alex will be the one that tries this on you now i know what this is so i've just seen this so somebody on the internet swaps out their girlfriends bar of soap and cuts a potato into a square she's washing her face going

what have you done with my soap it's not very soapy you've shaved my soap and she's rubbing a potato into her face first of all who uses a bar of soap anymore yeah that is so 1990s yeah that was what I was doing when I was getting dressed as Bugs Bunny yeah using a bar of soap that's really old school good prank that though isn't it

but surely she knew it was a potato But he's chopped it, he's taken off all his skin and really, like, made it look like... Yeah, it's great. I mean, we've actually gone through all the potatoes in this house, so you'll have to go and buy more. Very true. Hi, Kate and Alex. Long-time listener, second-time emailer, or fourth, if follow-ups count. I was listening to the Carl Kurtzor episode, and one thing he asked, stuck with me.

Where do you keep your bread? Guys, where are these cricket questions? No, no, no, no, that's not. question is it because we told we said where we keep our bread you mentioned that kate leaves it on the spice box which is an lbw or in the cupboard i keep bread in the freezer but hear me out it lasts for weeks without going bad and all you need to do is defrost it in the toaster or microwave before eating and i believe this is the only way to store bread love the podcast thank you and that's from kunel in dublin no cricket question but yeah the bread we don't have

bread very often not often we're a bagel we're into bagels the minute as you can probably tell because of opening 10 minutes was about how you cut a bagel up without chopping your finger off hi bow being a long time listener of nobles cricket podcast and a first time writer couple of questions to both of you as current sports professionals yes cricket go on first about media obligations has getting involved with the podcast commentary panel experiences changed how you experience them it never sits well with me that sports people are required to sit and talk in a meaningful yet emotional yet media image sensitive way mere moments after a significant setback nadal after a loss timpane after headingly etc etc what is it like

yeah we spoke about this the other day because i've got a thing about when you win a big event like the war cup i don't think those post-match interviews should happen no we said that didn't we like when we watched an australia win last sunday I guess they're trying to get an insight into what people feel. But for a start, no one ever can put into words what they've just gone through. I mean, I did one after the bring up the World Cup in 2017. Did you win the World Cup? But I swore.

I was like, we've just won the F***ing World Cup. And then I was like, oh, oh, I can't say that. Probably can't say that live on an interview. But I think that's actually good. Like, because I think that's genuine and that is what you were feeling at the time. I think when you win something like that, all you want to do is be around your teammates. and you want to celebrate and you want to laugh and take the moment in

and then you get pulled away from that because you've got to go and talk live to people. So I think it's like the Tim Payne went ahead and Lee and Nadar losing after like a Wimbledon final for example I think that is a little bit different. Yeah, but the question is... Oh, did I not listen? Has working in the media doing the podcast changed how you experienced

then doing media? so I think it's helped us in the media I'm definitely confident with the media I don't ever worry about doing an interview now no I'm much more confident I always used to get like when we first started doing the podcast used to hate interviewing people but then actually it's made us so much better now we listen to what they say and respond with that

but at first we just had like 20 questions we're like right good answer next question Yeah. I think the media can be a really like important part of certainly for female athletes because I think we need the media to be able to promote ourselves. So I think it's good to be able to have a good relationship with media. I don't mean with the people. I just mean with doing it in general. But I do think sometimes it, like I said, that World Cup final, like no one really cared about listening to 11 Australian players

say the same thing that everyone's worked really hard everyone was really pleased for Mitch Marsh yes they were pleased that they've won the World Cup obviously and go and enjoy the celebrations so I just think there's a time and a place for it yeah another broadcasting question

throwback do you ever feel anxious slash worried about being considered differently in the team or by selectors as a result of broadcasting more Is it a concern for Alex that she will be viewed by the England selectors more as a past player given the more media job she's doing? I obviously don't think that any of these worries should be a thing at all. People are very capable of going through different things and returning to previous ones with the right mindset and picking up where they left off.

My, I never get anxiety or worry about what selectors or people think about me working in the media because I think in women's cricket especially they understand that you've got to work a lot. alongside the contract that you've got in the domestic game at the minute and I'm very much under the impression that I'm not good enough to play for England but if I am, what will be will be. They'll pick you for it, yeah. Yeah.

I think what we're seeing now in the modern game is broadcasters like the BBC and Sky are trying to use people in the game at the time to do the broadcasting. So we're seeing it more in the men's game like how Jimmy and Broad are being used in the whiteball formats to broadcast. And I think it's more so in the women's game.

Brilliant for visibility because you get to know the person behind the cricketer as well. So I think that's why the 100 was so successful because people got to know the likes of Izzy Wong, myself, Lauren, Tammy, people like that. Me. Well, you were BBC. I'm joking. It's not all about you, mate. But I think, yeah, I think it gives you, I guess, an added value to them watching the sport.

So I think it's quite important for us. but I think that's kind of just the modern way of doing it I can't ever imagine back in the day that like both them would go and commentate when he's not playing if he was injured go and do some commentary so I think it's really good because it gives you an insight into the dressing room as well last thing I really like your inclusion of lines like

remember if you've not got anyone else you've got us can be such a difference to people to hear even if you don't know them real class probably understanding what a podcast is to somebody while they're listening to it well done PPS also a type of is a spud in its natural habitat. Zoom in for the uncomfortable truth.

Now I'm going to zoom in on this. And I don't... All cutleries should be washed, you savage. He's edited it. Thank you. Thank you. What's the name of the person that sent that in? This is Robert from North Wales.

Yes, Robert. Thank you. Hi, Kate and Alex. Hi, from Bangalore. Ooh. Was listening to your discussion. on England's red trousers, which I hated, by the way. I feel like they look like low-priced knock-off Spider-Man costumes.

But what made them worse was Moeen's red shoes. What is with the colourful shoes, the guys, and Rika Ghosh, are wearing? I've seen the following, number one. Rizwan with the bright green shoes. Two, Baba and Imad with the dark green matchy-machi shoes. Three, Mowin and I think Sam Billings with the red shoes. Rika, and this is the worst, with the purple Hurricane Jersey and the bright blue. sneakers and colian ab with blue shoes and red rcb jersey what is that in capital letters and loads

of question marks i reckon that is just people getting paid to wear shoes and they have to stand out otherwise you wouldn't notice them and it works because you've noticed them i think and this might be rubbish but i'm going to say it anyway say something with enough conviction people believe you i'm sure there was a iCC rule in world cup tournaments that if you were going to to wear a coloured shoe it had to be the colour of the plain trousers that you wore but Sam Billings wears really bright trainers so I think that was

the rule so I think that's where coloured shoes came into it and they've come back in fashion I don't know why they come back in fashion however speaking of coloured shoes and are all red you in the 2018 KSL the world famous globally shown tournament

actually got some all red shoes to match the kit didn't you did we played in all red and i got some um tennis shoes spiked up didn't realize they were clay courts and they were that heavy i was like plodding from fine leg to and i'd get severe cough domes you've got like shin splints didn't you because the whole season he's called me wrapping her down you're dragging your shoes around yeah i'd be like bother you like come on clay coats like don they're really heavy i can't pick my feet up they looked good though they looked good but you were severely injured and got called raffa nodal for the rest of the season yeah anyway i feel strongly about several rules in cricket including the pitching

outside leg one but i really really feel this one needs a wimbledon type white shoe rule only congratulations alex on the renewal of the contract and good luck with the ashes k i'm going for england have a good holiday season who's that from evasionavi well people actually wear now like one color red one color blue or something and that's where it gets really rogue What, one shoes? Like one shoe red, one shoe blue. Who does that? I've seen it in the IPL.

You're lying. Why lying for? Adel's been in touch. The Adele? She's on telly at the minute. She actually is. She's getting in touch on the pod? It's Adele Mitchell.

Oh. Morning, Kate and Alex. To be fair, do we know Adele's surname? No. So it could be. Could be Adele. It could be Adele. Hello.

Hello. She says, hello, Kate and Alex, I have been watching. singing. The very limited amount of games that Sky have been showing of the WBBL this year or via the Cricket Oz app. I was wondering if the player's mic that is used by players could replace helmet cam in the 100. Right. Okay, I'm just going to rephrase all that. Okay. The player mic that they use in the WBBL, was it used when you both played in Australia and did you ever get asked to wear it? It was used when we were over there and no, I was never asked to wear it which I think is a good thing because as a scene bowler there'd be just a lot

of heavy breathing uh I would just be out of breath yeah people would just be listening to how tired I was um I wasn't allowed to wear it not surprised the Hobart hurricanes didn't trust that I would behave myself on the mic but now I've got a booming podcast you never know I might be brilliant on the mic and I firmly believe I'd be good on the mic and I firmly believe I'd be good on the mic I just think there'd be a lot Speaking of words I just just remind me I was just going to say

I feel like there'd be a lot of swearing with you but Elise Villani had a brilliant one recently didn't she where she missed a drop a catch no no no

she misfielded a ball it like went through her legs for one or something but did she then get a run out in the end from it something happened but she swore on it and it was really

oh shit might it was really funny because it's exactly what you do when you're on the pitch so I think if people don't get offended by swearing then I think everyone should wear them

I also think that it's normal and natural and cricket Australia don't really care to this so at least Valani going ah shit my I'm should have got that one you know it was very funny but I do think it should be done more maybe something for the hundred yeah

LBWs got loads of LBWs this week let's get some in Hi Kate and Alex I'm married well done congratulations to a tinsel sniffer

when it gets to Christmas time my wife loves the smell of tinsel and we'll smell it at any opportunity if we're in the Christmas I'm married to a tinsel sniff if we're in the Christmas aisle of a shop she'll sniff the tinsle the people she work with even puts them on her

death for her is this normal or is she a massive weirdo. That's from Andy. No shaming. Saying here that is. Andy. Andy. With the tinsle sniff her wife. She's weird. I thought dinsel does have a smell. It does, didn't it? Andy Nicholson. So this is Mrs. Nicholson. So if you know a Mrs. Nicholson, go buy that gal some tinsel. She loves to sniff it. It's weird that, isn't it? It's not a nice smell, though, because it's like plastic. It basically is just the smell of plastic. Weird. Here's one. LBW. Boyfriend.

weird podcasting habits. Hello girls, my boyfriend recently got me into your podcast and I am absolutely loving it. The downside is that after listening, I accidentally imitate your accents all the time, which blend horrifically with my Australian one, but it's worth it. Oh, shit, am I?

My boyfriend is actually subject of this email, and I want your opinion on his podcasting habits. He listens to a shedload of cricket podcasts, yours included. Sometimes he listens along while cooking or cleaning, like a normal human being. But other times he does nothing, like he'll just sit on the couch or out on the balcony and listen to podcasts. He doesn't scroll on his phone, he just sits there peacefully and gives the audio his full attention. He said it's really relaxing and enjoyable.

I think it might be borderline psychotic. So, do you think it's weird to just sit and do nothing but focus on listening to a podcast, or should I be concerned or impressed with his behaviour? Or am I the LBW because I can't sit still and listen to a podcast? Thank you. Brooke. P.S. He and I both agree that not washing the bread knife is unacceptable and keeping the toaster in the cupboard is grim as hell.

So really, it all balances out in the end. We do balance it out, each other out really well. I think that's why we're a good friendship. But I think the podcast thing, I don't see why that has to be mutually exclusive. I don't see why you have to be one or the other, to be honest. No, I think sitting and listening to a podcast and not doing something could be quite peaceful.

you know. I do that when we get sent the edit of our podcast that's the final version to go out. I'll often come back from training and just lie on bed and on bed. I lie on the bed and listen to the podcast. So I think that's quite normal but I do think that podcasts are designed to accompany things. Yeah, like driving more often than not. Yeah. Next. Greetings, Alan Cape. I think we've actually discussed this because it mentions Ravi Bapara losing his trousers but they've got an LBW. If I'm visiting a friend and have to drive there, I almost always drive a different route there

to the way that I come home. I don't know why. It's not like I'm being tailed by the fuzz. All the best, Adam. The theme hospital guy. Yeah. I think that's weird and how many ways are there to get to a destination.

And also, do you not just stick it in your maps and follow the map? What's the reason for this? I need to understand this a little bit more, Adam. Yeah. I'm not sure. there's enough roots that you can do that. Well, it doesn't have to be a different one every time,

but it's just a different one to the way they came. Yeah, fair enough. To the venue. Right, I've got one more here. Last one? I've got one more. Hi, Kate and Alex. Seeing as Christmas is nearly upon us,

I have a Christmas LBW. My girlfriend will only eat mince pies if they're warm and with cream. Don't get me wrong, that's a great way to eat them, but seems a little limiting. Thoughts, feelings, opinions. Thanks, Tom in Bristol. I don't like mince pies. I hate mince pies.

I reckon I was about 15 when I learned that mince pies aren't mince meat. What? I thought mince pies were a pie of mince meat. And I never... Cinnamon on top of it. And I never touched them. Well, I found it really weird when people had them with cream. Yeah, they're reasoning, aren't they?

I think it's like, yeah, it's like festivities in a pan heated. I don't like them. I don't like them. Do you like Christmas cake? No. No. I don't like that either. She once made a Christmas cake.

My mum made a Christmas cake, right, and we had a cat. And you meant to make Christmas cake and, like, leave it for months on end and let it, like... Settle. I don't know. Probably hoping somebody pinches it. You don't have to eat it. Anyway, so she put it in the garage on top of...

We had an outdoor fridge, on top of the outdoor fridge. Christmas comes along, Christmas Eve, she goes to get it. The cat that we had had had had been in, and, like, bin in the pie and, like, eating it, and, like, I'm pretty sure she said there was stuff in there that's not meant to be um so she just like picked it all out and served the christmas cake on christmas day oh you're joking but there's only one person our family that eats christmas cake and it's my dad oh no is he going to find out through the podcast now oh no so i'm pretty sure my dad had it catch it but hey wow that to be honest that'd probably make it taste better

yeah yeah probably probably would uh yeah not a fan of mince Pie is not a fan of Christmas cake. A lot of other Christmas traditions I do get behind, though. Like? Mould wine. Yeah, Mold wine. Before we leave this podcast, I want to discuss something. Okay.

We were talking about Christmas the other day, and you fly out, said, I'm not putting the tree up. Yeah. And I got a little sad, because I'm living in your house. It's your decision if you want to put a tree up or not. And I'm only here for the next three weeks. So if you don't want a tree, I'm just a bit sad that you're not going to have a Christmas tree. Yeah. Your mood has completely just changed it.

I can see that in your face. I gave a very valid reason why I'm not doing it. You did, because you're actually not going to be here. I think I'm in the flat for four nights in December. So I'll be putting it up to take it back down the next hour. Yeah. So what I might do is that tree over in the corner that's looking a bit dead now, to be honest. We only got it like two months ago.

I know. I think I've killed it. We don't. If any tree experts are out there, we keep killing plants and we're not sure why. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I'm not going to be in. So you said at a minimum I've got to get some Christmas decorations in here, which I will do. Some lights would be nice. Maybe some tinsel we can get some off Mrs Nicholson.

Oh no, she won't give us any. She's too busy stuffing it in a knicker drawer. Why didn't you make it weird? We're not saying that she's sexually aroused by people. Oh, but God see. Why she's stuffing it in a knicker drawer? So she can sniff it? I'm going to finish on a bit of a happy note.

Okay. Hi, Kate and Alex. This is an email that we've had. I just wanted to thank you guys for your podcast. I've had a tough week with my mental health and having your podcast to listen to has made such a difference. I like the openness that you have when talking about your mental health and it's a great support for those of us that are struggling.

I like how much you look out for each other and listening to the podcast is like catching up with a couple of friends. You make the listener feel very welcome. It's great to share a laugh with you. Thanks again, Kirsty. Oh, Kirsty, you are welcome. And you remember, if you don't get anybody, you've got us.

very true we'll be back in a week we will with our guests special guest and if you've noticed we haven't been very active on social media we're just having a bit of a break yeah we are aren't we yeah it's just been a really tough few weeks for the cricketing world yeah in fact someone messaged us to say that they've noticed that we've not really been ourselves for the last couple of weeks and i think i just wanted to bring it up because we will get back to our normal selves but we're just a bit, not shell-shocked, but a bit taken back and a bit upset by it all. So we've just had a bit of a quiet couple of weeks. Yep.

So we just thought we'd address it. Yeah, we did. So thank you very much for listening again, guys. We're back next week with a special guest. Yes, we are. We're looking forward to having him. Spoiler alert. Spoiler at Men's Ashes.

On the podcast. And we will see you next week. Don't forget to email us on No Bulls, Podcast at BBC.com.com. Bulls podcast at bbc.com.com. It's so good. They forgot to put it on the podcast. Bye. See ya.

And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Hartley balls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Match of the Day

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Return for Series 5 He was never going to Man City Maniated could never ever have allowed Cristiano Ronaldo to have gone to Manchester City. The Match of the Day Top 10 podcast, only available on BBC Sounds. I don't like mince pies. I hate mince pies.