Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - Chris Woakes, special catches and dodgy DIY

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

England's Kate Cross and World Cup winner Alex Hartley arrive on BBC Sounds to talk life, lockdown and a bit of cricket. England star Chris Woakes is this week's special guest.

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. To embrace the impossible requires a vehicle that pushes what's possible. Defender 110 boasts a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms, a weighting depth of 900 millimeters, and a roof load up to 300 kilograms. Learn more at landrover.ca. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. and cross strikes in the first over it's what England we're looking for Hartley Falls down the track comes scoring this time she connects

it's either six or out it's six hello and finally welcome back to no balls the cricket podcast with me Kate Cross and me Alex Hortley and you're you say welcome back, but hello and welcome to No Borsa Cricket Podcasts for all those people that haven't listened before, we have some new listeners, maybe like four or five. Maybe. My mum and dad did say that they'd subscribe, so we're up a few. We're up a few. Yes, good soon. Other ticks. So we have got a new audience. This is our first live BBC podcast out.

The British Broadcasting Corporation. Cooperation. I mean, we've got some explaining to do. We have. We need to set the scene for, basically, sorry for anyone that knows who we are and what we do. I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't know what we are and what we do because you're going to be sorry. We're going to be sorry. But guys, you are in for a treat. So, me, Kate Cross, I am a current England international cricketer. You, Alex Hartley, are... Not a current England...

A previous. A previous England International who about 18 months ago lost her England contract and it's a sad story but we've cried about it we've also laughed about it at that time you said

let's start a podcast on the back of a few people on Twitter saying you've got a bit of ban to you too why don't you start a podcast? And we were listening to another podcast and we were thinking if they could do it we can do it so we got your phone I think it was

we sat in your liverby and we recorded three hours of us to rambling on about God knows what I'm really sorry if you're going to go back and listen to all the other episodes then maybe don't start

at episode number one because it's probably terrible yeah probably terrible we're talking about one of my mates eating polystyrene or something she went on a polystyrene diet we'll explain that in a bit though

so yeah here we are 18 months later we've been working really hard it. Lockdown did some good for us because it actually meant that we committed to it. And the BBC have picked us up and now we're here. And this is it. It's about time that I got paid for our friendship.

Oh, shut up. So the BBC are just rewarding me for putting up with you for all these years. Al, I've been logging all the hours I spent with you down as charitable work. Oh yeah, because you said you were going to do something for charity every month. Am I the charity? Yeah, my New Year's resolution, yeah. Spending time with you and doing a weekly podcast. Yeah, okay. Nice. I like that.

We'll let you know now, guys. We are the cricket podcast that rarely talks about cricket. So if you're here for stats, if you're here for all the, you know, ins and outs of the game, it's not the one for you. But what we do give you is a real insight to what professional athletes are like. And we talk about mental health. We're two best friends that have a lot of fun around cricket and just generally take the piss out of each other.

And genuinely. We're very genuine on this podcast, aren't we? What you see is what you get. Our friendship is our friendship. We probably swear a little bit more in real life, but we're on the BBC now, so we've got to be very, very pox. So we just beep them out, put our posh voices on

and we actually have a very, very, very special guests this week. We do. We've gone well. To say that this is our first bebe guest, we have done very well, very impressed. I can't wait for that to happen, but there's a lot that we need to talk about before that after. Do we?

What do we need to talk about? For anyone that doesn't know, you are currently playing in the Rachwell. you're not currently actually because it's first round has finished now but you've been involved in the Rachel Hayhoe Flint you are the current captain of the Northwest Thunder you are two from four yes I am we've actually decided we're two and a half from four I see because we should have won down in Bristol

but we didn't yeah we are yeah we definitely should have so we're two and a half we're not ready to talk about it no so we're two and a half from four going into the T20s next weekend and like I said I'm currently just literally today got to Bristol we've had a little training prep camp in Loughborough we got the test match starting on Wednesday, which is so exciting because it is the first time that we've played India in a test match since 2014, seven years. I am so excited to come and watch.

You're commentating? I am indeed. Yeah, you're not just coming as a spectator. Yeah, but I'm still going to watch. Well, of course you're going to watch because you've got to commentate on it, but you're not coming to watch, you're coming to work, you're coming to tell everyone else what they can watch. Oh, listen to it. I'm setting the scene as you're steaming into bowl

and taking 5'42, you heard it here first. I really hope I play. I'm still at that stage where we don't know the team so I don't know if I'm going to play, so we'll keep our fingers. I'm going cross, first change, snicking Matali Raj off, bang, out. I'll take it. Yeah. I will take it.

Do you know what I was thinking? If we play in the test match, sorry, if I play in the test match and I take a wicket, I think I should do a little celebration to celebrate the fact that the first episode will have been out the day before. So maybe, are you got any ideas what I could do? Well, what we could do is what you did down in Bristol when I said, come on, Crossie, do something.

And you ran into ball, you laughed, you took a wicket, you turned around and you just pointed at me. I was like, there you go. Because you were so frustrated with not taking any wickets, and you were just like, oh, Crossie, come on, just do something. So I was like, all right, we'll do. Skip. No, but I can't just point at you in the comms box, can I?

Like, I need something to, like, represent no balls. What about a little NO? Nobles. A little NO for nobles. If you do that, I will buy your T's every single day for a month. I won't be able to do that. It's too difficult, I think. No one can see what I'm doing to you.

So she's creating a little upside-down V with one hand, and an O with the other. No-bole. we'll have a think we'll have a think anyone that doesn't know sorry to anyone that does know for all our regular listeners

thanks for coming back by the way we have sticky notes don't we where we document everything that happens so that we can remember to talk about things on the podcast because our lives now revolve around a podcast

do you know what I found myself doing now we talk to each other every single day and we actually had an evening the other day where we didn't talk and we were both like wow what is happening but I refrain from telling you certain things that happen in my life for the podcast.

Hashtag podcast purposes. Podcast purposes. So, in the middle of our last season finishing and this new season beginning, we have gone from being best friends to teammates again, to roommates. To roommates. Lucky, lucky you. A bold move. Long story short, you sold you flat.

You went to buy another one. It's not ready yet. You needed somewhere to live. Again, more charitable work from me. I moved in. you moved out I moved out I'm now down in Bristol

yeah better set that scene as well we're currently down in Bristol we've got a test match starting on Wednesday we'll talk about cricket in a minute we've got the sticky note to go first okay but yes I moved out the second you moved in so

do you want to go first did you want me to? Well I've got a big long list because we've had a season break before we started with the BBC and my list of things on here is so long and the first one on my list is I've got a love-hate relationship with cricket season

because I love, love, love playing cricket and being out there with my mates and having a good time but after a day's play I have to sand my feet so when you say that you love being out there and you love days play and all that

and being with your mates When did you start playing cricket in the desert? No, no, no. Like, my skin gets so hard on my feet. I have to get a sandpaper. We're trying to encourage people to listen to us more. No one needs to know that you are cheese grater in your feet. Yeah, it's true.

But I think it's relatable. A lot of people that play cricket and listen to that will go, yes, I agree. I have to pick my feet as well. Right, well, the first thing I've got written down. On my sticky note, is that a lot of people when you moved in, DM does, didn't they? And they said, are you two finally married? So I thought we might as well get this in early, let people know that we are not an item, we're not together, never been married, never going to get married, you're not my type.

Right, hang on a minute, I swear we had a pact that if we got to 45 and we were still single, we'd get married, have the same house but separate bedrooms. No, not happening. All right, I'll look for a man. So, right, we're not together. That's the first thing I've got written on my note. The second thing I've got written on my note is the fact that I had to build you some drawers because you moved in and there was no drawers in your bedroom.

There was nowhere to keep my knickers and socks, was there? So me, famous, famous last words, wasn't it? I was like, I've done these drawers before. They're foolproof. Full proof, everybody, everybody. She was like lying on the kitchen floor going, I don't even need to read the instructions. These things are full proof.

You, cause it, you built the draw without the bottom of the freaking shelf in it. I put the top on backwards and then I also forgot to put the rollers in the drawer so it doesn't slide. And everything you look for in a drawer, I took it out, I removed it. So it was literally an empty hole

with a backwards lid on it. Yeah, you actually just made a shell of the drawer rather than the actual drawers. Full proof, though, wasn't it? That was like, full proof. That was like our first 10 minutes of living together and I was like, oh my God, this is going to be absolute carnage. Yeah.

Yeah, but it was very funny. And then we're sat on the sofa and I've been here approximately seven hours. You've built me some drawers. We've already had a lot of funny content. And I'm sat here watching TV. You've taught me so much about Sky that I never knew was a thing.

Like the fact that you can fast forward without actually having to pass forward. Yeah, it's a little sneaky trick, isn't it, that I taught you? The best one that I taught you is the fact that you can talk into it. It's like Alexa. Well, you also have Alexis, and now it's flashing. Oh, Alexa's flashing. Have you got anything else on you sneaking up?

Because I've got, I've got a long list of cricket ones here. Well, I have got a lot, and I think I've actually think we've got too much to talk about this week. Go on then. Give me one of your cricket ones. Let's bring it into the cricket podcast world, go. Okay. Crossy, I took the best catch of the season. This is the content that people have been waiting for, isn't it? Because that video went online and, oh my God, your hands must be sore from milking it.

Oh, honestly. I was like, I'm still, two days later, I still retweeting, still going, but this, this catch, it's gone over my shoulder. I've patched Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop No, no, no, no, no, I was just going to say You tell your version of events And then I'll tell people what actually happened

Okay, Sophie Eccleston's ball In world's best T20 ball I don't want to let her down Tybal that's got 80 not out 18 not out I've gone to play one over mid-off I've looked up

the ball's gone on backtracking and back track it's gone over my shoulder I've dived up and over my shoulder and taken an absolute specky over my left shoulder full length dive backwards what are you saying? Okay.

So I actually got a lot of stick on Twitter for my reaction to your catch because I didn't race over because I can tell you exactly what was going through my head at that moment when I was walking. The words in my head were what have I just seen?

What have I just witnessed? What have I actually just witnessed? Because what I saw, and this is what actually happened, Sophie Baldball, Tammy danced down the track and tries to hit it over mid-off. She doesn't quite get it. She cloths it.

And I'm looking up and I'm thinking, oh, that's gone straight to Al. Literally, she takes two steps to her left. She's just going to catch that, probably at hip height. But you watched it for a good four seconds, fly over your head and then made this miraculous top bin saved dive

that I've never, ever, ever seen you do before ever. Rolling around on the deck and then you realize that you caught it and the utter surprise on your face that you'd actually caught this ball and then you screamed in delight and started celebrating and I was just thinking

wow, she's put a lot of mayonnaise on that. Because we've got a game of training called Speckys only where we do put mayonnaise on catches and I just so happened to accidentally do it in a game. You did and I'm not taking away the catch was great

what you did was fantastic but it didn't need happen that was my what have I just witnessed this moment and for anyone that saw the Ben Stokes catch where he took that right-handed catch over his head when he was in the wrong position and he actually openly admitted that he was in the wrong position and had to then take a specky it was similar to that it was like top right-hand corner you went with the wrong hand rolled over great catch however if you'd take him three steps to your left it would have been an absolute dolly and you probably would have dropped it let's be honest well speaking of

that yesterday in yesterday's game made off catch comes straight to me and mid-drift, high, dropped it. We've all been there. It happens, that's cricket. And everyone looked at me. The heights and loads of professional sport. Everybody looked at me and went, oh, you really do take speckies only, then do you are?

Hashtag speckies only. Good game, though. Introduce it to your club. Yeah. Take it to training. Great game. Great game. While we're talking about cricket,

shall we introduce this week's guest? We shall. You bards. Okay, I'm very excited. side, Al, to invite our very special guest this week onto No Bowls of Cricket podcast. We've got Ashes winner and World Cup winner, Chris Wokes. Welcome to Nobles.

Thanks for having me. Looking forward to it. I've heard a lot about the pod, so I'm excited. So how are you? What's going on at the minute? You're not playing cricket. What's happening? Yeah, no, I'm all good.

Obviously, IPR happened, and then kind of is a mad rush to get home, and then obviously isolation. quarantine, all that malarkey that everyone has to do at the minute. So after that, took a little bit of a breather, had a week out, 10 days or so at home with the family, just shut it down. The last week or so, just been getting back into cricket. So I played a Tuesday game on Monday, and I'm due to play another one tomorrow. And then hopefully, hopefully, all being well, I'll get him run out in the blast sometime soon

and actually play some cricket and actually competitive cricket. imagine going turning up to play twos and chris welkes turns up to play against you you like for god's sake well play on monday brezzi was in the same team as well so you know he's probably got more more medals than i have it was like that time that woody turned out for his club team at the start of the summer like you'd be fuming wouldn't you turning up as an opening batter and you got mark wood steaming at you're on and like a wet pitch in april yeah i mean having woody steven is a bit different to me but it could be worse you could have had

I remember that team last year that had Jof steaming in at them so that's probably the worst. How was the IPL? Was it tough? Was it because it's bubbled wasn't it this year? Yeah, it was bubbled. I think you just get used to it now

this whole bubble that we're having to do. I mean, I know it has to be done and stuff but I think you just get used to it. I mean, don't know wrong. It's not any fun and it's very different to the usual tour in life and stuff. But I think you kind of just get used to it. You do get a little bit,

claustrophobic at times but then you know you you guys have troubled the world as well you understand that like you know hotel life particularly in india and the subcontinent you don't really get out too much anyway do you so um yeah it was good it was good it's shame that obviously it got can but i think it was the right call probably should have been cancelled a little bit sooner than it was but you know we'll see what happens with the with the rescheduling side of things i know you've just said you actually are right with the bubble life but how have you gone from, like mentally, last year you were pretty much England's player of the year, like smashed everything. And then you had a winter of bubbling, quarantine, and that

incident with COVID going into Sri Lanka, which then caused you not to play. Like, how did you mentally cope with that? Yeah, I think it's, I mean, don't be wrong, I'm not exactly enjoyed bubble life. I said that we kind of got used to it just because of the fact we've done so much of it, but certainly haven't enjoyed it. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, everyone's had to just find a way to get to get used to it and deal with it. But I think mentally the shrank thing was quite tricky and quite hard to take. I think at the time it didn't really, really hit home. I think I kind of just thought of it as, oh, you know, it's a bit unlucky and you kind of crack on,

you do your quarantine and you come out. And then I missed two test matches pretty much because of it when I felt like I would have played. And then it kind of hit home. I was like, well, you know, it's going to be, it's quite tough. You know, it's quite hard to kind of just manage, really, mentally. And then when you're on tour, as I'm sure you both know, is when you're a part of this team, you've got to always give, especially if you're not playing.

You've got to be giving energy. I think by the time I got to about the second test match in India, having not played, it just got a bit too much. And I was just like, I've kind of had enough. And that's when kind of had discussions about if I wasn't to play moving forward, then I looked to look to leave and look to get home. a bit earlier. So how I dealt with it?

I'm not too sure to actually, because I feel like once I got home and kind of come out of the quarantine situation, I felt like it kind of all kind of came to a, I don't know, just kind of hit me a little bit more. Yeah, just kind of hit me a little bit more, like actually coming back home, being in the open, being in normal world, and then reflecting on what you've actually had

and what you've done over the last six months. And as you touched on, I played such a play such a key role in the summer. then not play a game of cricket and spend almost a month in isolation in total obviously just yeah it was quite tricky and quite hard to take and I think I've needed this break

to kind of just get over it and just reset and start again I think it's something that you struggled with isn't it because being in the bubble last summer and not playing and you've sort of got over it again and then you go back into it straight away that's never ending yeah like I found it

really difficult the monotony of not being able to play cricket just training all the time and it was just so tedious turning up and doing the same things over and over again and then not getting I guess not getting the adrenaline rush of being able to go and play and you know have that the energy that you get from actually playing a game of cricket and not just running the drinks all the time like that bib is literally got mine now I just I got to a point where I just packed in my bag after every game I just put in my bag so I knew I'd be probably wearing it but no I know where you're coming from because it was like I felt the same really you turn up and you give your energy and you know you you you owe to yourself to go into

every training session and give 110% and try and make the best of yourself and give to the team and that sort of thing but it does come a point where and I've tried not to in interviews I've done is you try not to kind of give that away because you sound like it overprivileged sportsmen by saying oh you've got to turn up to training and you've got to running and bowl and you've got to do this and that and I understand like to some people that you know that sounds like you're just being an overprivileged sportsman but or sportswoman should say we get it though so you can say yeah but that's what I mean I just think in the professional environment people do get it and um you know from that side of things it's really

tough and I kind of agree with what you say turn to train every day and kind of knowing that you're not really going to get into that competitive environment again is quite hard um right that's the most serious that we're going to be on this podcast so we can move on now we're going to put you on the spot actually here, aren't we? Oh, no. Yeah, so this is the, one of the main reasons that I wanted to get you on this podcast, Chris, is because you still owe me two flat whites. Oh, yeah, I think I do, don't I? Was it two, was it? I thought it was one? Yeah, because we did the Yorker challenge, and then we did the off-stump challenge, and I beat you at both of them. So I'm just getting this out there now,

like, everyone's going to hear this, so. You didn't just beat me at those either. You pretty much smashed both, both skills. I was just, I was nowhere, and you were just drilling them. I was like, Oh, well. Do you know why that is? Because Crossy didn't play any cricket. So I just train all the time. We can't have you on without talking about the World Cup final in 2019. Or that World Cup, actually.

Hartley, we've got kind of like an on-running joke with this podcast. Here we go. We've actually got a bingo game, Chris, where someone wrote in and gave us like all our things that we say every single week. And on this bingo card is Alex will mention the 2017 World Cup. And she's literally dining out on it. and we were just, we're going to ask you how long were you going to dine out on your World Cup win? Well, I intend to dine out on the World Cup win for the rest of my life.

That is the intention. I'm not going to lie. I don't think you can't, can you? Surely that's just a given. Unfortunately, Kate, I think you're going to have to let that one slide. It's just going to have to happen. It's the only thing I've ever done in my career that is like anything of worth. I got dropped pretty much straight after that and then lost my contract.

So obviously I'm going to live off that final. Yeah, you've still got the best. medal, haven't you? You know, I was just going to say this a podcast so people can't see us, but for anyone that can't, well, you can't see us, but they've both actually got their World Cup winners medal. Oh, you know what? I really wish, I really wish you both did that now, just to rub so into the words, okay. We want to talk, well, we actually want to talk properly about the World Cup final, so a Duff question, but how was it? Mentor, I still, I still struggle to kind of explain the emotion.

and the whole scenario that everyone was put in, to be honest. I mean, you look back at it, and I still haven't kind of watched the whole game from start to finish. We watched like an extended run as a team the one day. I think it was during a lockdown when they were playing them back on Scott. We had a Zoom and we had a few beers and kind of people dicked in and that and stuff, which was pretty cool. That's cool.

But just that's a madness. I think to think how the game went. and everything that the drama that went with it, it's just hard to fathom how that even happened. You know, I still have like kind of the odd dream about it that it didn't actually happen. And it could the kind of scenario played out as it did. But we didn't obviously get over the line

and whether, like, I've had a couple where Joss has dropped it, J. Roy's fumbled it. Really? Gosh, how strange is that? Yeah, it's madness. I mean, you need to get over it, Woksey. I know, I do. I need to get over it.

Every time I wake up and go and check that the windows bed was still there. But no, it's just utter madness. I can't put it into any of the words. I mean, sure, you know, you guys watching it. It's just, it was literally like unscripted, isn't it? You can't write that. I mean, it was one of the craziest cricket games I've ever seen.

And like, you just, it was like, I don't know, you're watching it going to, they're not going to win this. Oh my God, they're winning. Oh, my God, they're not winning. and it was so up and down so I can't imagine how you felt out in the middle because us on the sidelines

were fucking it well the thing is I mean and you guys know this because actually when you're in the battle and you're out there it's not as nervy as it is watching so like in the gesture room waiting to bat I was a nervous ray

and always am to be fair waiting to bat I'm always pretty nervous but more so in that scenario you know I was I was you know as bad as I've ever been couldn't sit still was pacing the dressing room, got to a point where I was having to go and do the exact same things that I was doing in between overs.

And obviously, that's the reason why that partnership was going well, was because I was doing this routine, you know, so you continue to do that. But, yeah, I think that, just that moment or the whole day felt pretty chilled apart from when we were back, to be pretty honest. Like the bowling innings, we kind of just, once you got into the game, especially, I mean, I might as well mention my first ball, like was definitely a big wide. I'm just glad that it hit the cut strip, to be honest.

That was a bit nervous. But no, I think the batting in general, I think everyone felt the intensity of a well-cut final chase. You know, it was never going to be simple. And no one could have imagined it to go that way. God, it's so crazy because, like, we watch you guys play all the time and like, see you bowl and you never, ever, ever look nervous. Like, you always just look so in control of what you're doing

and you just forget that people have these emotions on these big days that I'm all, whatever day when you get nervous for cricket, I don't know, but yeah, it's just crazy to think that, like, there's been times where I've been at batten and I'm physically shaking, and I'm like, God, I hope the cameras don't pick up on this. Like, I hope I'll look right. Yeah, yeah, I think deep down, I think that's always something to remember, I think, as a player professional,

is that people do get nervous and, you know, a lot of people seem bulletproof, don't they? And we know that from a lot of different things, but they seem bulletproof on the outside, but actually on the inside, they really aren't. And, you know, we're all human at the end of the day. You took the words out of my mouth. I was literally right to say, even though you're a professional athlete,

you are still human, and you're playing in the biggest game of your life. I mean, I was sick before I went out to field, before I put my pads on. I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to fight a lot. It's like, this is a disaster. Are you glad that you bowled first? Oh, yeah, 100%.

To be honest, to be honest. in most in most games I'm happy that we go first but in the World Cup final

yeah because you want the Lord's lunch obviously oh yeah obviously fill your boots

at half time yeah of course but I think I think yeah I've not even ran that

through my head to think what we did if we did have done if we have bowed second in that game to think so to be honest

not whilst Geoff was around and rightly so like Jophe should definitely have bothered it. It's only been in the big four minutes. Yeah, that's the thing. That is the thing. I think had Jophe not been around I'd like to have thought I'd have probably got the nod but then

at the same time probably didn't want the nod. So yeah, I think when I saw Morg's tap Jophe on the shoulder I was like one relieved man like that is for sure. We normally have a little

quiz which we're going to do in like three minutes but we've got some boring questions that you've probably been asked a thousand times stuff like who is the best teammate um the best team mate on in what circumstance because there's so many different nice this manning doesn't want to offend anyone yeah who's your favorite who's your favorite in that england dressing room at the minute at the minute Tom Sibley is my favorite in the in the test team But I can't, oh, because he's just, he's just so chill, like, he's not chilled, but he is chilled. It's hard to explain why, but he's good on the piss for starters. Oh, yeah, nice.

Okay, good. But he's a Warwickshire bear now and he's a adopted bear. I love the fact that he's less sorry to come to Warwickshire. So he gets brown. See, I did not know that. Yeah, so he gets brownie points for that. But I think my all-time favourite teammate, it has to be Liam Plunkett.

One of the absolute greats. The most hilarious man I think I've ever met in my life. Okay. Opposite. Who's your most annoying teammate? Annoying. Annoying, but Woody. He just doesn't shut up, does he?

He doesn't show up. I love him to bits, but he's annoying. I imagine you've really got to be in the mood for Woody when he's on. He's like worse. Oh, the amount of type, the one that gets me to. the best was we were in St. Lucia and Woody was just being typical Woody. When he gets nervous, he gets even worse.

He gets louder and he's singing and dancing and all this. I remember he sat next to Brody and Brody just looked him and just went, simmer down Woody, literally like so seriously. And Woody was like, yeah, I'll get back in my box. Oh, bless him. What is your best cricketing moment? Oh, best cricket in moment. 2019 World Cup.

I can't look past that unfortunately thought you were going to say nipping in in 2013 and getting an Ashes winner's medal Yeah, I could have said that You know, it's been embarrassing there Isn't it? Just picking up a medal And as Alex said

A winner's check You know, lift off the trophy Play the last test What is your worst cricketing moment? I think worse Would probably end up being the most embarrassed of being on the field which was, there's a T20 for Walsh.

It was a quarterfinal, actually, quarterfinal on 220 blast many years ago, like one of my first years, if not my first year as a pro, and I bowed two flat ones in my third over and, yeah, got whacked. I think it's Darren Stevens I was buying that, and he just whacked me everywhere. Two flat ones got called off. You know what I mean? It's just not a nice place to be that.

Wanted the ground to swallow me up. Oh, that's early in the career as well. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But, you know, got through it. Now, the past year has seen us locked in the house for 18 months, and we've seen some horrendous haircuts. Who has the worst COVID lid? Worst COVID lid. I mean, I had a bad one at one point, but...

You brought the Alice band in, didn't you? Yeah, I did. I enjoyed it, actually. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I've got talked about a long. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to see where I was bowling, but who's got the worst. I mean, Colin de Grandin's there, isn't there, isn't he? I know Colin well.

I thought he was a crooked coach. I've told him, I love it, but it's bad. I mean, sure. I was watching the telly the other day, and I was like, oh, I thought he was like a batting coach or something. He was one of the great men. He won't care at all, but that's a shocker.

I reckon he's the kind of person that would grow that without COVID. Like, COVID's just a great excuse for him. in a way I'm having it but it's shocking it did make me laugh how much chat was around like the boys with the long hair

like now you can appreciate what we go through every single day when we play cricket so much maintenance in the dressing room pre game it was a joke and like when you know

you're having a hit and you've got to wear a helmet when do you wash your hair like you got to get your hair wash days on on like training days it's hard yeah the lads weren't coming out it was probably a good job

we're in a bubble they weren't going out they were washing their hair at night and blow drying it and all sorts things you love to see right we're going to do the infamous nobles quiz with you

hopefully you're not a cricket badger and you don't know any of things is it just a general general knowledge is it like well you'll find out won't you yeah back to embarrass myself come on here

so question number one according to ESPN crick info how many teams have you represented oh god I've got them up here so if you want to take them off with Sandy I have a go

I mean Herefordshire County Creek County Creegan or whatever Warwickshire County Creek Club Yep Raw Challenges Bangalore Cold Cut a Night Riders Sydney Thunder

Yep I'm probably missing some real Birmingham Bears Yeah Does that count Is that Warwickshire? That's Warwickshire Your international sign

But you had, yeah, you hadn't said Warwick. Oh, yeah, that probably helps, isn't it? Yeah, England. Yeah. England Lions? Yeah. I don't know, that's about it. One in New Zealand.

Oh, yeah. Wellington Firebirds. Yeah. Is that it? You've got a few second 11s. You've got Knott's 2s and Warwickshire 2s, which are down as well. So that's 11. Yeah, I weren't going to mention Nott's twos because don't really want to claim that I've played for Notton.

Although they were very, very, very grateful that I was grateful that I was glad to play. coming back to me three, but... You've said 11. Okay. Four, five, six. I've got the answer written down, Chrossey. I've missed another one. Deli.

I've missed Deli on. Oh, no. Literally, that's how bad my memory is. I probably remember what I was doing three weeks ago. Well, we've actually got you written down here. You've played for 15 teams. God. But one, realistically, one county.

So that's fair. And nuts, too. And nuts, too. Yeah, I'd go to my grave. You didn't say Marleybone Cricket Club, so. Oh, yeah, that's, yeah, I should, I should have said that, really, not. And then it was, like, under 19? Yeah.

So how many in total was it, 15, you say? Yeah, wow. So don't play for anymore, now that's it. That's it. You're going to get a real life. I was going to say that ended up being the in-renta here. Okay, cricket. All right, question number two.

How many balls have you faced in test cricket? 30 odd games 1500 Oh no No you've undersull yourself there 2,573 Okay Block the arse off it clearly

And how many runs have you got So for first 2,500 balls I'm going to staves How bad's my stroke, right 12,500, 1250 Not bad Do you know what

I think we'll give you that because it's 1,321. Okay, that's pretty good guess. I mean you're wrong, but you nearly won't. Yeah, yeah. Question number four, what is your highest test score? 137. Nice.

Red, I must have. Got one right. And off the back of that, what is your highest IPL score? Um, oh, that's embarrassing. Probably 17? 18. Wrong. You're wrong. Yeah, another wrong one.

I've sold myself short there, 18. Yeah, right. We're going to go now into a bit of a World Cup quiz because you just spoke about how much of an amazing day it was, how much you loved it, and it was just the best thing that ever happened to it, so let's see how much you were paying attention. Who umpired the World Cup final?

Oh, what a question. Oh, my God. Okay, Paul Reichel? Nope. Oh, no. You must have bowled at someone's end. Oh, my God. I genuinely have no idea.

What about if Crossy gives you one, it might twig your memory. Just, oh God, I honestly have no idea. Joel Wilson? No, now you're just saying unpotters. Yeah, I am. I'm just clucking about it, yeah. Bring Billy Balden back.

Kumar, Kuma, Kuma, is definitely one end. Yeah, Kuma is definitely one end. Did you vote at his end? Yeah, did you? I'm sure he was in charge of the superover, wasn't he? Or he was at the end, Joffler was bowling. I'm not sure. We weren't there, Chris.

Yeah, true. You were watching, right? Yeah, intensely watching. Yeah, I was watching the car. We had that three-day game, didn't we? We were warming up for the ashes, and we were in Bridgewater or some rogue place near Taunton. It was not a great time, actually. But we had dinner booked, and I could only watch it on my phone, and I, like, ran out of data halfway through it.

so it costs me it actually probably cost me more to watch that final than if I'd have bought a ticket to be there I surely not that much time we're going for a fortune right then

well yeah my dad tried to leave before the super over as well anyway second umpire was Maria Rasmus oh yeah

what was the score to make it a super over uh two four two No. Oh, two, four, three.

Three four one. Oh, me. How many, what, see on now? How many points? No, po. No, par. Oh, I thought I got one. Oh, we gave you the, we gave you the 137.

That was in the other quiz and the 1,300 runs. So you got two out of a possible one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight so far. Oh, it's going well, then. Okay, I'll give you a point for each of these because I'm feeling sorry for you. Who did you get out in the World Cup final? Okay, so I got Goptal Latham

and the Gronham Yes, worst lid in COVID time Crossy said you'd get that but then I was like, but I have no idea who I got out I don't know if anyone who listens knows I did play in a World Cup final but Well, you might, oh you don't got any idea I was going to say I know who you got out

I got Harmon Pre-Core and somebody else I don't know who there's somebody else I don't know who I got out but I got how I'm pretty cool out of the captain. Oh, the second one. The second one. Oh, the most important wicket. Yeah, the key critical moment of the game.

Just drop that one in. What was the boundary countback that you won on? What, and how many boundaries we scored? So how many boundaries did England score compared to how many boundaries did New Zealand score? Which was the reason that you've got that World Cup winners medal in your network. Yeah.

See, I thought it, at first, I thought it was boundary count within the Superover originally. as in when you were playing you thought that yeah I was down on the fence thinking oh we're right here because you know they haven't got enough they haven't scored a boundary yet apart from and then and then thinking he went six I was like all right okay

could you imagine if you were running around celebrating and you'd have lost I know but I'd have had to have waited I'd have had to have waited to see what everyone else's reaction won't oh god it was a shambles wasn't it quite shambles but anyway the boundary countback I'm going to say we scored

25 boundaries oh that's close I think you can have a point for that 26 oh well I was saying so Alex is very very harsh on this

scoring system whereas Kate gives you a little bit is feeling sorry for the nicest man in cricket I am not yeah

yeah how many did New Zealand school if you give you a clue I reckon 26 thanks for that

I'm going to say 18 Oh, 17. Oh, God, I'm closer. I mean, we've got to give him a point for that as well now, Crossy. Yeah, I think so, yeah. I mean, they're tough questions. Well, to get it as far.

Yeah, I should know better, really. You said it's never forgetable. Yeah. How many of those boundaries did you hit? Zero. Correct. How many, final question, how many of those boundaries did you go for? Oh.

Good question. I don't reckon I went for many actually in the final. I reckon I might have gone for three or four, three. Yes, well done. Yeah. Yes. So you don't win any prizes for this quiz because you did really shit. You got one, two, four, five, six.

Nine out of a possible, maybe, I don't know how many questions we asked. Well, it was just fun, really. Well, it was good for us. Good reminiscing the good times. Not for you. Fun for us. Well, actually, you've lost because you still owe me two coffees, so it's going to cost you two flatwifes.

Yeah, well, it's all right. I'm sure I should probably get Alex one just for, you know, for being nice, be nice and getting through. But then, well, we'll find a time. Being really nice to a total stranger. That's what I'm going for. Living up to the name. Chris, you've been an absolute belter.

Thank you so much for coming on no balls. we've really appreciated it. That's right. Thanks for having me. We've loved it. It's been good fun. Thank you very much. Cheers, guys. Crossy. Alex.

The nicest man in cricket has been on our podcast. Isn't he actually that you can understand why everyone says he's the nicest man? Terrible at knowing his own game in the World Cup final, but nicest man in cricket. Memorable game that though, said he'll never forget it. Unforgettable. Who unpaid? I don't know. I don't know.

You said that he owes you two copies. Yeah, so again, we didn't give any context to that. So about two years ago, we did an appearance together and we were putting these videos together about how kids or anyone could play some cricket with any kind of equipment and like we're showing them games that you could play, challenges that you could do. But me and Chris had to go head to head against each other to do these challenges. So the first one was to hit the top of off. Who, other than probably James Anderson in the men's game, would you rely on to hit the

the top of off every single time. Stuart Broad? Mowing Alley? Anyone? Chris Wokes. And honestly, I beat him. Like, hands down, 3-0. He was nowhere near me.

I hammered him. And then we did the same again with the Yorker Challenge and I hammered him. So when he says that, like, I actually wiped the floor with him, I actually did wipe the floor with him. And he owes me two coffees now. So to prove that he is the nicest man in cricket,

he messaged you on Instagram after recording that, saying, I'll buy you, coffee that I owe you, and Alex. I'll get Alex one so if you don't feel left out. Oh, cute. Bless him. Nice is man in cricket. Thank you so much, Chris. Honestly, it was an absolute pleasure having you on. And I think to hear the World Cup side of things from someone who we obviously hear

your side of your World Cup journey, every single podcast episode, but I think to hear it from one of the guys for the first time on our podcast was pretty special. It was. I've been missing this section of the podcast, Crossing, moving on. I'm dying to go upstairs with Sue Redfern because she umpired our cricket game

and shouted, no ball! I mean, you just went, the cricket podcast. She kept warning me, didn't she? She was like, crossy, you're very close to that line and you were like, you just want to shout with no walls. So let's go upstairs. We need to give context, Al. We can't just assume everyone knows. So, when we first started

this podcast, we thought, happens in cricket where they question things, the DRS. You go upstairs with an umpire and you check the DRS. So we've always gone upstairs with an umpire to have a look at our emails, all the questions that you've been sending in. And our email is, Noblespodcast at BBC.co.com. This one is quite a relevant one. So hi Kate and Alex. This is probably a question for when the England bubble has begun. How is the bio bubble working differently to last year, both for the media and the England team and with the increased cases in Manchester

are you being asked to do anything extra how does a bubble work with fans in the ground all the best Daniel so Daniel we're just asked as county cricketers or regional cricketers to take extra precautions we lateral flow twice a week and just be sensible but you

on the other hand yeah we're not for a start we're not calling them bubbles this year they're called team environments now oh because the bubble's giving everyone PTSD Pretty much, yeah, I struggled with the bubble last year, didn't I? It is different, though. We're not in one location, so last year we were stuck in Derby,

which was cricket prison for four weeks, and yeah, really struggled with that. This time we're actually travelling around, we're playing at different grounds, so we've got our first game at Bristol, then we go to Chelmsford, torn, etc. But they're just being really precautioned with how we are in hotels. So, for example, here in Bristol,

we've got the whole third floor, India's got the whole fourth floor, and then, like, no public, and no one from the public is allowed on those floors and we in different rooms not in the restaurant that kind of stuff so yeah just being cautious boring and cautious really not allowed out in the evening

it's not allowed to go to restaurants not really allowed to do anything outside of the hotel so for anybody that isn't crossy they're in a bubble but they're not going to say that team environment and being from Manchester I mean are we that bad probably get something worse than COVID from Manchester

wouldn't you? Yeah yeah I was going to say you want to worry about everything else, not going. There are something you can't get once, though. Hi, both. Question for Kate. After several crucial performances with the bat and in the field, how far do you think Alex has progressed on the road from a specialist fine leg to fine leg

to now a genuine all-rounder? Right, okay, I didn't send that in. It was from my dad. Thanks, Dave. I'll um yeah all right this is the only time I'm going to be nice to you in this season so you might as well lap it up you've actually improved from probably a two out of ten to a four out of ten since I last saw you play cricket and I think it's all down to the work that you've put in over the winter in the regional section work really hard it's been a pleasure to see thank you thank you you you actually um voice nodded me last night so getting we've won what a great win from the thunder good night And I was waiting for you to say, well-batted. Because the other night where we went to bed, before you went in the bubble, I was brushing my teeth and you pop your head around the corner, you went,

good night, well-batted. So I was waiting for it again, and it didn't come. You, Al, you scored a four. You literally scored one-four, and you want me to say well-bating team. Grotty? I had the best strike rate in the team. Yeah, because you faced one ball and nicked it for four. No, in all seriousness, Al, I got asked this the other day when I kicked,

because me and Sofa were able to come back and play in the Rachel Hayho. And there's such a big difference in the standard of cricket this year. And it is literally down to the fact that people have been, people have had access to training venues, coaches for longer than three weeks before the season begun. And it is honestly going to make such a difference moving forward that it's quite exciting and quite daunting to think where the game could be in another five years. You know, we always talk about this spiral of women's cricket and how much it's like flown in the last 10 years.

but now these regional contracts are really we're going to see a big difference we've actually had an email about that someone's email saying with the introduction of the regional contracts do you think England contracts will become less important when playing matches as regional form will be a significant part of selection well it is now we're seeing that aren't we like

we've seen M.R. that getting picked in this test squad because of how she's bowled in the Rachel Hayo Flint we saw Tash Farrant go over to New Zealand because how she bowled in the Rachel Hayo Flint last year so for me like obviously it's terrible because people after my place now but it's great

for the game because it gives people that incentive at regional level to perform to turn up to train to work hard and you're not that far

away from getting your England call up yeah yeah and do you know what it's where the game should be as well yeah it's been frustrating for us

hasn't it because that's where we've wanted it to be for so long and it's been ready to be there but it's just not had that investment and now we've got it

and it's obviously going to make such a difference Yeah. Right, Al, I'm going to throw it back because we've got another little section that we do on here and it's called the LBW section and do you want to explain it for anyone that doesn't know what it means?

An LBW in cricket is like before wicket. An LBW in No Balls to Cricket podcast is something that's a little bit weird. So it's something that you do or your friend does we get a lot of friends and family members that do these things in virtually. commas and you don't think it's weird but when someone is when you've done it in front of someone they're like what on earth are you doing you psychopath so you for example we'll sit

in your trainers all night yeah i do i often do i keep my shoes on in the house you also sit there in your shoes and in your coat like you're about to leave at 9.45 in the evening yeah that's just because i'm tired and i don't like putting the heating on yeah yeah yeah Well, he's on, by the way. No, I'm joking. So, guys, get in touch with us. Send us your LBW. Send us any questions to that email address.

Sarah has been in touch. She says, if I am, this is her LBW. If I'm ever involved in a takeaway and there are drinks, you know, the like horrible grey cup holders. Basically, I've got a fear of them. And if anyone brings one near me or I touch one, I'll cry or outbreak down in the car. My sister wants to chase me with one and I started crying. They feel horrible.

And I would like to start a cult. A cult. A cup in which people help me burn all of them. But that's something for another day. Right. She's actually sent another one in. Speaking of my sister, her LBW is that whenever she opens a bottle of drink, whether it's water or a smoothie, anything,

she screws off the lid and licks the lid of the bottle before she takes a sit. It's so weird and I keep calling her out for it. It is so weird. And it's something that I've known. noticed, you do as well. I do that. You stick your tongue in that lid and you give it a good. I don't know why I do it either.

It's just definitely a habit. You take the lid off and you just go, oh yeah, that's a nice little bit of water. I think it's because there's a little bit of residue in the lid, isn't there? And I always think, oh, I don't want that to spill on me, probably on my jeans or my trainers that I'm still wearing. So I don't want it to spill on me. So I'd then just get rid of it.

Surely there's other people out there that do that. I'm not having that I'm the only one. Well, me and Sarah's sister. Yeah, you and Sarah's sister. Very, very string. She also says, first thing, but a very, very quick and boring question for Alex. Do you have an Alexa?

If so, do things get confusing when you start out? We do, don't we? We've got one. Will you? We? You've only been in there four minutes, Al. What's mine is yours, honey? No, but the girls at cricket now call me Alexa

and shout, Alexa, do something. Oh, nice. I like that. Yeah. Hi, Kate and Alex. Now it looks like LBW's back. I can't help but notice something normal I do, but when mention it to my friends,

they think it's extremely weird. So, superstitions and routines are obviously a big thing in cricket, and I have to go through my routines and putting my pads on in a certain way every single time I put them on. If I don't do it my way, it just feels weird or natural. So I start with my pads, then my thigh pad. However, it is always my left side first

before everything else. I even have to walk onto the pitch with my left foot first. It's normal, right? But I have noticed I have taken it out of a cricket scenario and use it in my day-to-day life. Getting dressed, for example, pulling on socks, left foot first, then right foot, pulling on trousers, left leg first, then right leg,

stepping onto a pavement. Always, my left foot. Anyways. I was just wondering, I'm I the only one that does this or do you two think I'm a no-ball psychopath She is a noble psychopath

because that's just excessive isn't it And I'm not here to bag OCD If you've got OCD It's a very real thing But I would say The initial bit is very crickety Isn't it? It's very superstitious

Very standard cricket You know You've got to wear the same sports bra you wore When you won a game or whatever Oh one of our girls yesterday, bowled really well, got three for 30, and got 30-odd with the bat, and realised she had her sports bra on inside out,

so I can guarantee. She'll be wearing it inside out next game, absolutely. That's just the weirdness of cricket, I think. But do you need to step on a pavement with your left foot first? What's going to happen if you don't? I can't remember what... Maybe she should try it. I can't remember what foot first she went in all those scenarios, can you?

No, I don't think you said it enough. Guys, we hope you've enjoyed the first episode with the B, we have honestly we've been chomping at the bit to get back we've missed everyone we're so so excited to have our new listeners as well so thank you for being with us and please don't come just for the one episode and leave us because we'll get sacked yes we want to stay we want to stay because we have so much fun we hope we bring a smile to everybody's faces welcome back you filthy psychopaths and welcome everybody else you will become psychopaths don't you worry about it Bye.

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