Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - deck the halls with boughs of Ollie!

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

England women's bowler Kate Cross is back from the West Indies, Alex Hartley is in Pakistan. This week they're joined by England men's Ollie Pope who has his own icks to discuss.

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And cross strikes in the first over. It's Waddingham. Looking for. Hartley falls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Hello. Is it my turning on? Hello. Welcome back to No Balls of Cricket Podcast. With me, Alex Hartley and you? Kate Cross. We weren't sure whose turn it was to industry.

It was. you because you told me I was flat last week hello and welcome back to no balls a cricket podcast with me Alex Hartley and you Kate Cross how are you? I'm all right thank you are you I'm not bad thanks Al but I'm going to give you some advice don't come home oh um I was really looking forward to coming home no don't do it it is minus seven degrees

yeah um it's 32 here and I've sat by the pool all day Don't come home Okay All right I'll have Christmas I'll have Christmas in Karachi Why not You could go to

Babara Azam's house And have a nice What Would he have a nut roast I don't know Would you have a turkey I don't know But I shared a swimming pool

With Riswan today Which is pretty cool There you go Get to Rizwan's house Do not come home I'm telling you It's Baltic I said a swimming pool with him

I was sat in the pool or stood in the ball, sorry, and he got in to do some stretching. And I was like, he's in my pool. How is Pakistan? It is okay. It's been really... You're over it. It's been amazing.

I've loved it. Absolutely loved it. When we were in Moulton, the security was so, so tight we weren't allowed to leave. And I thought, if I spend one more day in this hotel, I'm going to have a mental breakdown. So the men's team finished the test match in four days. Did you a huge favour? Did us a huge favour. We got out of Moulton. No disrespect to Moultham, but we just couldn't leave. We've got to Karachi. Freedom. Freedom. I've been out. I've been to parties. There's a bar. I'm having beves. It's like being in Australia. She's back. Yay. I'm currently doing this podcast with a corona in my hand.

You told me that you couldn't do the podcast yesterday because you were going to be too beved up. Yeah, because I went to, should I drop this? in now while we're doing interest. Yeah, you might as well. It's on a sticky note, so why not? I went to an Oscar winner's house party, and she showed us around her beautiful house, and so we had a nice time there. So you were too beved yesterday to do it because you'd been partying with the stars, and now you've been sharing a swim pool with Rizwan, having a bit beer with Baz probably, and now still p-b. I wouldn't say because I've got TV to do at 8 o'clock, because I couldn't get bitch. I'm jolly.

Okay, nice. It is Christmas, to be fair. It's Christmas. It is Christmas. I'm just missing some mould wine. Oh, yeah, but 32 degrees, mould wine, probs, not. It would go off. How are you? Yeah, I'm not too bad, thank you. Got back from Antig on Sunday. Jetlag hit me hard. I know it's a mindset, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hit me really hard. And when I say it hit me hard, I like, I didn't get to sleep until 6 a.m. one night. I just don't understand how you struggle so much.

Well, it just, I obviously, maybe I've got a gene. It's like that coriander gene that makes coriander taste like soap. I've got the jet lag gene. I think you've got the jet lag gene because the time difference, Chrassy, from the UK to the West Indies, he's four hours. Yeah, I know, but that's the thing. So 6am was like 2am are in Antigua. So even that seemed to be, I don't know why I was struggling to get sleep at 2am.

But anyway, yeah, so I struggle with that. It's really cold. I've been bowling in the indoor centre with my woolie hat. on um i went to the christmas party that's a good thing that was a positive you've got your woolly hat out now yeah i do this honestly i don't know what's going on al this flat will not stay warm and then i was like why is that and then i remembered it's because it's minus seven outside yeah it's not because the flat it's not it's not but yeah i went to the christmas party on wednesday the infamous lancashire christmas party uh and i do have a two-day hangover so

it was that good yes i'm proud of it I'm proud of me as well I remember I was texting you when you got in from the Christmas party and we're just having a little chat and you're like, it's been really good and I was like, what time is it? And you're like, half three. I was like, go to bed.

Yeah, it was bedtime. Dead time. Jet lag still up. Actually got in at one. Couldn't sleep. We forgot to do this last week but I've got so many sticky notes, crossy. Right, we're going to have to go on to it

because we're treating you all this week with a fantastic special guest. Yes, you have. heard me correctly. We have a guest. We have an England test player. So we'll go on to that in a minute. But Al, have you got anything on your sticky note? I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight sticky notes, crossy. Oh my goodness me. We're going to have to get through this because I've got five. Okay. Do you want to go first? No, you go first. You've got more. Okay. So I forgot to tell this story. It's really out of date, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

So we get to the game, day one of the first test match in Roll Pindi. And five minutes before we're on air, I'm like, smells like fire. Really smells like fire. I was like, anyone else smell fire? I was like, yeah, I can smell fire. And I look up, Andy Zaltzman is on fire. What? So he sat at the desk and the electric.

box in front of him, where you plug everything into, set on fire. So all I can see is Andy Zaltzman curly hair and smoke. Okay. And everyone's like panicking. We're going on air in four minutes and salts is on fire. How did you forget to tell me this? Yeah, so there was a fire in the commentary box day one.

This is like if Faulty Towers did an episode of cricket, like this sounds an absolute shambles. It was, and we're like panicking. We all had our mobile phones ready to ring the office to broadcast on a phone call. Oh, my word. Yeah. So like we are panicking.

So Zaltz is on fire. You're just sat laughing. Sat laughing. The Wi-Fi cuts off and we drop off air and we're panicking. And I'm just sat there going, well, there's nothing we can do, is there? I just got to go with the flow. goodness me yeah very very funny um well i've got a story i forgot to tell you when we were in antiga so this was i think it was second game can't remember doesn't really matter

we batted first because we batted first in all three games and went out to do bowling warm up in the middle of in the like innings break and the the groundsman comes on to the the ground and he's got the big leaf blower so i'm like what what's happened here and everyone staring at the pitch and I'm like, what's going on? So I've wandered over to the pitch Gareth Breeze is stood there and he goes,

a frog fell out of the roller and has been rolled into the wicket onto a length. It was like something out of a carty and there was this like flat frog squished onto the wicket.

I would say no frogs were harmed in the making of this story but they were. This frog was severely dead. And it was so squished on to the wicket that the guy had to come and leaf blower it off and then shovel it off and then for the rest of the game there was just an outline of a squash frog on a link on the pitch in the middle of an ODI.

Oh my God, that is literally like something you dream about. Yeah, and it happened. Did you manage to hit said Frog's skeleton? No, thankfully it got moved. But yeah, it gave me something to EMA, I guess, but yeah. Oh, couldn't write it. You couldn't write it. Oh, the poor frog.

He'd be panicking. He wasn't. He was dead. Brown bread, that frog. It isn't dead. Oh, God. Oh, poor frog. Another disaster for you.

Yeah, ready. We turn up to Moultan. On a total lie. The day before we go to Moultan, Khalid, our fixer, goes, I guess I need a word ASAP. I need a word ASAP. And I'm just earwicking.

I'm like, oh, what's going on here? So I'm like, listening in. The chief of police have cancelled all our hotel rooms in Multan. We've got nowhere to stay. Legit. Legit. The chief of police in Multan cancelled every single touring person's hotel room. Why?

Safety. And we still don't know. So we got onto the big boss at the Pakistan Cricket Board, who got onto the ECB, who got on to like the prime minister here and 24 hours later it was sorted we were back in the original hotel but we had nowhere to stay and so we the BBC sky

we're all staying in the same hotel and we were like right looks like we're going to have to do it off tube has anything gone right on this tour yeah it has been one of the most incredible experiences of my whole entire life everyone has been so welcoming so amazing, but it has very much been faulty towers at times.

Yeah, it does sound. It sounds like when it is faulted towers, it's 10 out of 10 faulty towers. I reckon every day of the game that we've commented on, we drop off air 10 times. That's probably for the best. Are you pressing that big red button again? I'm like, I don't fancy saying anything, bye.

Bye. I'm really conscious of time, because obviously we've gone over. I think we need to give a little bit a background before we go into the guest about what happened to you yesterday. Yeah, as in where I was. Just to give a little bit of an explanation, because I don't know how Henry is going to produce this episode and that interview that we did with our guest, but it was the most shambolic thing I've ever been a part of.

We were planning to plan, planning to plan, Olly Pope at, oh, by the way, Olly Pope's by the way, Ollie Pope's coming on the podcast. There you go. The big reveal. It'll be in the title anyway. They always ruin it with the title. So I go, right, okay, I'll be in my room at 10 past. We'll call and the call is at half past seven.

He wants to do it at half seven. He's got plans. So, yeah, I come down from the bar, quick, quick, swiftly. Come down to the bar. Tap my room key. Nothing. So I was like, oh, okay, went down to reception, change my room key, come back, nothing.

Back down to reception. Do you know the electric doors and you just tap a key? They have batteries inside. and my battery had broken to come get in my room. So I did the first half, or the first five minutes of all these interview, sat in the corridor on my mobile phone. When, like, I actually quite enjoy the fact that we're quite shambolic. I think I put something on Instagram and the DMs that we got back were quite fulfilling,

actually. A lot of people were like, at least you can't have the TV on so that, you know, we can't hear anything in the background. So that's plus. Someone else was like, this is so on brand. that it's scary, but it was actually the most embarrassed that I've been on this podcast because Ollie was sat there with his head in his hands going, is she ready? Is she back? Is she in? What's she doing?

But then, like, so the men came and fixed my door, so I was like, excuse me, I'm in mid-interview, can I go in? And then 10 minutes later, they're like, you need to come here. You need to come here. I'm sorry, I pause the interview and go again. So that's why the first five minutes are a shambles, but then I reckon it's a good interview. It is a great interview. and hopefully Henry has done his magic trick and made it sound and it's half decent. Finally, Crossie, we've got a guest on the podcast

and it's my pleasure to introduce Ollie Pope. Good evening. Hello, guys. How are you? Thanks for having me on. Oh, that's cute. Oh my God, the key man's just turned off. You are joking me. No, it's fine. I'll let you move away. Good evening. How are you? I know it's not. It's not. It's fine. I'll sit back down. I'm just going to say it now. I'm locked out my room. I can't get in. And there's three security men walking down here that are going to try and break me back into my own room. So I'm sorry about this being half to shambles.

Ollie, I don't... You walk past probably loves you. You just stood up for him and then stood back down. this podcast is a 10 out of 10 shambles all the time this is exceeding our expectations but how are you how is Pakistan yeah good I'm good Pakistan's been great we're lucky enough to get on the golf course today

which is nice obviously had a few days off after the last test match but no it's been awesome it's been a great trip and the people here love it and they've been so welcoming is that the first time you've been able to play golf out there at all? We played actually in Moultan as well, I think, which is the number one course in Pakistan. And it was actually unreal.

It felt like you're in Dubai on that course. The greens were immaculate and now that's tough juror. I've heard it was like 16 pound around as well. It's like dead cheap. Yeah, I know. That was, yeah, I don't know how they managed that. I felt bad. I don't think we even had to pay in the end.

But, yeah, I think if you played on one of those courses back in England, it'd be like 200 quid. Wow Could I get in my room I'm just mid-interview Thank you Sorry I need to get in Crossy hold us together while I put my headphones in

Right you sort yourself out I mean we can carry on talking about golf But we know nothing about golf So we'll stick with cricket No that's okay We spoke about the first test match And how unbelievable that was But we've not spoken about

The second test match on this pod yet So you can walk us through it what happened? Yeah, it was another amazing win. I think any win in the subcontinent somewhere like Pakistan is very special and something you can't take for granted. But yeah, they sold pretty well at us first dig.

We did a pretty good job to get to where we got to. Some good lower order runs from Mark Wood, which was handy, which got us probably to about a pass score. And then somehow with the ball, I think we took about three or four wickets in like three overs or something, where Rudy got a few quite a few soft wickets actually

which somehow we managed to get a lead of like that 70 I think which is crucial in a game like that and then Brookie put on a clinic in that second dig which was yeah which was amazing he's been unreal this trip and there's no surprise that yeah he's churning the runs because he's a quality player so plus one ahead of the game there

we've got a little joke on this podcast about how flip flat that first wicket it was in Roll Pindi. I want you to tell everyone on this podcast how fly it was because nobody believes me. It was, yeah. It was the, I mean, we obviously managed to get 20 poles

but in terms of the pitch itself, it was as flat pitch as I've played on. We were saying, Ollie, like, as much as the basball effect as like, everyone's obviously talking about it and the batting has been like what is grabbing everyone's attention,

but your bowlers are taking wickets. Like, you've been taking 20 wickets every single test match. Yeah, I think this, I mean, especially, you come to obviously the subcontroller and you expect your spinners to take the wickets, but it's not actually spun that much, obviously. I think the skills of Jimmy and Robo in that first test, and then Woody's extra pace in the last test,

I mean, I know Jimmy's the goat and Robo is one of the most skillful bowlers have seen, but in that first test, I just couldn't believe the, the quality that they delivered, it was just relentless. They went at like just over, what, they went on like two and over each, and then both picked up.

It was at four poles. And then they delivered in the second test. I think those three poles that we got in the second test were as good at balls with a seam, off the seam as they've probably ever seen in Pakistan. It was unbelievable. The balls to get, especially to get Rizwan and Babur, they're unplayable balls.

And to have that on these pitches. just sums up how good those two are. I was on air at a time when Jimmy got his wicket and I was like, it's not done that much. I was like, will you watch that again, please? I was like, and again. And he's like, no, it's not done anything. I was like, oh my God, you are so wrong.

Yeah, that was literally the perfect ball. Like, hinted it and reversing it. I was so buzzing as a keeper purely just to watch it from behind and then it obviously hit the crack and just straightened and I was like, ah, that's a handy wicket. How did you find keeping? I found it all right First day in the first test

I was like jeez I've not done this in a long time because I literally end up doing it once a year pretty much whenever someone goes down in the test match so it's been alright and then obviously that controversial catch which I looked at my social media after the game and I think it felt like there was a lot of people hating on me for that

but I don't really understand why because it's the umpires decision but yeah yeah but you'll always get like no one understands that did they, you'll always get the tweets like, Joe Wilson's probably not getting people sliding into his DMs. Yeah, exactly. I couldn't believe

I was buzzing with the wind and I just saw this abuse. I was like, come on guys, I don't make the decision, I just try to catch a ball. Did you take your own keeping kit or did you have to borrow some? Yeah, luckily folks are sponsored by Grey Nichols as well. I don't know how, because normally I'm pretty good.

I'll just whack a pair of gloves in just in case, even if I'm third choice. Somehow before this trip, it didn't even cross my mind to bring keeping stuff out here. So, yeah, I've ended up keeping full test matches. So luckily, Focci's one of my good mates and he's happy to chuck them over to me.

Oh, good conversation. Yeah, it was a little bit. It was more, I don't know, when it first happened, I was like, Fosci, can I pry your pads and gloves again, please, mate? But no, he's one of my best mates of Surrey, and we don't make the decision. We just do what we're told,

and we just go out and play. So he was good with me all week, to be fair. He helped me out where he needed to, so. And he's a far better keeper than me as well. So I just tried to learn off him. You've done well, you don't seem to practice it if you're not taking your gloves out to Pakistan.

Like, you've done really well to say that you just stepped up to a test match. Yeah, yeah. I mean, thank God that me and Ruth, that ball went between me and Rudy. So thank God that Leachie took that wicket and that last over. I probably wouldn't have had the glass. That's for the second test. But yeah, I kept all my sort of, I said, child, I'm 24, but probably until I was about 19.

So I've done enough of it. It just felt very rusty because I probably do it about once a year. But maybe it's probably a good reminder that even if I'm not first choice, just to every now and again do a little session to top up, I think. How so was your ass for all you spotting? Weirdly, it was actually all right. my I don't

I don't know why I saw from all that you've been doing yeah yeah probably worse from that to be honest but I was actually weirdly all right I don't know why I think maybe because I'm used to doing short leg and stuff

I think I was more mentally tired than anything else but yeah the arse was actually it was actually alright but yeah I was happy if I don't keep in the last year I'm sweet While we're speaking about arces, can you talk us through

Rudy's nappy? What's being said about this? I don't want to stitch them up. We know he was wearing one. Yeah, we spoke about it last week on the pod because I went up and said hello and he went, morning, Al, I'm wearing a nappy. I was like, okay?

Okay, so he's put it out there. Yeah, I luckily didn't see this nap, but I know he had a fair amount of tissues probably to make a bummer figure, to be fair. surely you just don't go out and field that day you just say and to be fair to him the bloke was going off every like half an hour just because he felt horrendous so credit credit to him it's just like it shows what he's about to be fair but I think if I was him there

I'm probably milking it a bit harder did he or did he not show the dressing room the nappy did he show or not I actually didn't see it I didn't want to see it and I didn't see it. So that's, yeah, he can see that one to himself. See that behind closed doors. Right, Ollie, can you try to sum up for all our listeners? What has changed in this test team to make you go from 17 on the bounce

to then winning pretty much everything that you've played and going out to Pakistan and winning out there? Like, what has changed? I think it's obvious how much of an impact, Baz and Stokesy have had. Obviously, it was time. the team needed, we knew how much ability we had. I think a lot of the faces in the team haven't really changed. I think we knew we had the ability, but we almost, as a young batter, for example, for me,

I felt this thing that if I didn't perform each game, I felt like I was probably going to be dropped. And even though he's not said, oh, you're going to play for the next 10 games or whatever, it's not conversations like that. It's just we've got rid of that fear of getting out and that fear of, or just talking about technique the whole time and pushing at a ball. on force dump and making it, or your head slightly falls over. It's more about seeing gaps in the field, seeing, seeing where to score rather than where not to get out.

So it's just that flipping mindset and just not talking so much about numbers and analysing too much. It's just trying to work on what you're good at and find a way of, almost the fact that we want to entertain so much has almost taken a pressure off the actual, in a way, the actual performance day and day out. and that's actually been the best thing for our performance

because people are just going I'm just going to go out there express myself show what I can do and then funny enough a lot of the time that comes off so and then I think Baz is we won games from positions

where you don't expect anyone to really win games from as well a lot of them I mean even the two games here they've not been they've not sort of been pretty smooth sailing we've not dominated the whole game and there was the same in the summer

we've sort of it's been like neck and neck and then we've managed to just something crazy for two hours to get us over the line. So I think it's almost we want to be game changes and want to impact the game rather than think, oh, what can I do to keep my pace in the team? And I think everyone feels like that and it feels like our team

and I think everyone wants to pay for each other rather than just play for sort of their batting average to make sure they get a pick next test. Is it really easy to buy into? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I think, don't get to be really, wrong. I believe it in the summer but I've seen it on a new level

here. I've seen how important it is for us to entertain and we want to change cricket. We want to change test cricket and we're not changing it because it's obviously still the priority but we want to make sure that we're the ones that drive test cricket forward and we want to show how entertaining it can be and how

entertaining it is and it has been for us and we want to be the leaders in making sure that the crowds in, for example, Australia and South Africa get bigger and bigger because hopefully it rubs off how we're playing

and how we're doing things and if we can keep being successful teams like I've oh there's something in that so it's been pretty easy to buy into because it's a fun way of playing cricket and that's the main thing

and I think Stokesy and Baz are the two perfect guys in the types of players they were and obviously Stokesy still is to lead that and to make us believe that that will work I spoke to Baz out, like in the last test or whenever it was, about this.

And he said, every time you back, you get out, he's like, so why they're not having fun while they do it? And is that literally how simple he keeps it? Yeah, he said that to me quite a few times. When I've sat there, probably, like, after I've got out for not as many as I should have, he goes, mate, you're going to get out at some point in your earnings. It doesn't necessarily matter how. You're going to get out at some point.

So, and it's just like, you get out every game, and it was just that realization to stop fearing it. the whole time and actually when you're in the middle just enjoy it have fun out there and yeah

like you said it is actually as simple as that a lot of these strategies but it's worked because you're absolutely smashing it so

yeah it's easy well it's not easy but long may it it's not easy but long way it continues olive have you got any aspirations to play

whiteball cricket for England yeah absolutely I think we see now a lot of guys have been picked from their franchise stuff and obviously your test stuff can help as well

I think but I'm off to playing this UAE tournament in January so hopefully if I can keep doing things like that if I can impress there against some of the best wide ball players and hopefully that hopefully they'll pick me in that as well I paid golf with Kese the other day and showed him how far I can hit golf ball so hopefully

hopefully he takes note but nah I'm kidding but yeah I'd love to play for England in all formats and one of the cricket I'm playing, I'll just put everything into that. And then if that gets me into the wide-ball team, then great. But if not, I'll keep trying to churn them out at three. And if you get retained for the Welsh fire,

then, you know, you can go and showcase what you can do there. Yes, exactly. Yeah, whoever, yeah, that. I think the Welsh fire need to just start again. Everyone, men and women start again. None of us are going back. Yeah, we had a. We had a tough, tough, tough time.

But to be fair, I only played two games, so I wasn't really there for the whole journey, but I was watching the lad on TV. Oh, hey, I didn't jump ship. I just had to come play with these boys. Or you send Baz to Wales and see if he can fix it. Yeah, exactly. I think, well, Gary Kirsten's left, so you never know.

There's a job out there. Well, we were Googling you to figure out what the hell. we're going to talk about on this podcast. We were reminded about your shoulder injury back in 2019. You were out for a while with that, weren't you? Yeah, well, I did it twice. I did it. I did it first.

Yeah, 2019, and then I did it again at the end of that, you know, that COVID summer, where we played in those COVID buzz, which is the right half. Then I did it at the end of that as well. So I've had two ops on it. I think the first one was about four months, second one was about five months.

And then you just dropped back into Katz. championship cricket and scored 224 was it? I did do that the first time I did do that and then the second time I went to a medabad and couldn't score a run so I don't think that was a shoulder though I think that was just me

me and the pitches yeah the first time I've It's a great leveler man isn't it just to get 100 one week and none the other When you have an injury Is it then in the back of your mind when you're fielding You're like, oh, my God, I could do this again.

Oh, it should be. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for mention of that one. Jesus. It should be because I've done it twice. But weirdly it's not. I kind of just trusted, well, I shouldn't have trusted them first time because I should have had a bigger operation first time round.

But now I'm fine because it's technically like I've got, it's a bone block that I've had, so they've like cut one bit of bone from the back of my shoulder, moved it to the front. And now they say my left shoulder is better. than my right shoulder, which I've had nothing too. So I kind of trust the fact that that's more stable than my right one. So, and it's not really in my mind to, to be like that.

I'm sure some people would be more cautious, but I guess being still fairly young, I kind of just go, it happens, it happens. I'm scared of the ball as it is. Like, I'm running away from it. Al, you have mind blocks, not bone blocks. It's hard. It's a stupid. again. We've cheated a little bit.

We put a nice picture up of you on our Insta and got people to ask us some questions. Okay. So these are actually questions from our devoted fans. I've lost it now. There it is. And the first question is Shag Mario Void

Stokes, Spokes or Wokes. Is that genuine? Yeah. Jeez. That's actually tough one because Stokesy's a skipper. so you can't avoid him but then Foges is an oil painting

and Wizz is the best bloke ever Oh my god You've got to shag Folks surely Ah yeah fine Well no I don't have to But that's the game isn't it Wokesy is

I feel bad because he's not here I'm about to marry Stokesy just so he keeps picking me and then Wokesy Wokesy's one of my best pals when we toured together so that's a shame but see him

so you're avoiding him Savage we'll bring it back and what was it like Captain in against the Lions yeah it was good I think those those warm up games

can be a bit long so it was good to actually keep my brain engaged and think about field positionings and stuff. But now it was nice to be seen as a bit of a leader within the team and I was more interested to see how I'd be sort of captaining someone like Jimmy because obviously he knows how he wants to get players out. He's the best that's ever done it.

So it was a good experience because it was good to like bounce off ideas that were going on an absolute road somewhere like Rao Pindi, but in... Was it for that? Yeah, it was a belter. So it was good to just bounce off ideas with him and actually just try to work out how to get the batters out on a flat one. So no, I enjoyed it. It was good fun.

Crossie's going to do all the serious ones and I'm going to do all the fun ones. If you could be any type of biscuit, what biscuit would you be and why? I'd be a custard cream. Why? Why? A bit soft in the middle.

Yeah, no, no. The other bit. It doesn't, yeah, I'm really tough on the outside. Now you've got those strong shoulders. Yeah, exactly. Now I've got that bone blocking. What do you do with your dog whilst you're on tour? The dog is staying with my mum at the minute.

And then I think then if, if mum can't, then I sent him to a dog trainer where he loves it there. And it's just like a farm. they've just got two dogs themselves so I just I give them a bit of money each day to look after him give him a bit of training and he's inside and stuff so he's happy he's not out in the kennels he's living his best life there as well and he's got his own Instagram account if you want to give him a little plug people go follow him yeah life of Jackson give it a follow although the content's got a bit quiet recently yeah you have gone

quiet it's my favourite account when you post and then you don't post oh Christmas time I'll be back yeah looking forward to you know why because dogs are better as puppies and then when they grow up, they're not as good. Yeah, they're easier to deal with, but they're not as cute, are they? They're not as Instagram, or they? I don't think you'll be able to answer this one, but why are there so many ginger cricket players? Oh, let me do that.

I have no idea. I literally can't answer that. Coincidence, probably. Yeah. Yeah, strange question. Which bowler have you least liked to keep to? keep to I remember

I think actually Wokes he actually in England is the worst he wobbles it so much and then yeah probably him out here it's okay because the worst bit about

keeping when you're standing backs the wobble on the ball but the balls out here don't really do that it's only really the Jukes ones so probably Wokes in England but you're avoiding him so you can't just bring him back in now

wow that's why I don't want to keep to him as well Would you rather fight a horse-sized Alex Or a hundred duck-sized Alex? 100 duck-sized Alex You can just stand, yeah, stand on me Yeah, exactly If you had to choose between winning a World Cup Or averaging 100 in tests

What would you choose? I've got a long way To be averaging 100, that's for sure But probably, yeah, winning a World Cup. I think when you retire from the game, I think moments like that would be the moments that you remember, not necessarily getting out and stuff. So I think, yeah, if you can win a World Cup,

that's the ultimate as a cricketer. I don't know if you were there, but what was your order after the Trent Bridge test in the kebab shop? I was there. I was one of the main characters in that. Yeah, have a look back of that video I got stitched up massively because there's a five-man kebab

which was sharing between the lot of us and you just see it passed over and you see me in the screen just taking it with the biggest smile on my face but I don't even know I've never even had a cabb that's the thing until that night then I had a bit of it and then you got filmed having it

yeah and then genuinely whenever I like in the crowd I was playing T20 the weekend after and then I just all the all the shouting was about having a massive kebab and I'm surprised surprisingly not put on a bit of weight

oh tell those people to get in them in it's a donna cabb isn't it yeah dirty donna yeah dirty donna um Ollie we've got a thing at the minute on the pod where we're doing icks like what people's icks are um have you got any

that you've got that spring to mind uh I've got the obvious one but everyone has it where just chew with a loud chewers, sorry, loudie. Yeah. I've got one with Al where, so I'll live with me for a little bit last year and she'll use the bread knife and then she won't clean it. She just like wipes it on her trousers and puts it back in the bread thing. Really? Yeah.

When you're cutting bread or you're not using that for butter, that's just for the bread. No, no, no, it's just bread. Yeah, you see. What do you do? Yeah, I do that. Yes. I've done that as well. Yeah.

That's just lazy. I live on my own. What else would it be? I think people, I'm guilty for it because I love singing to the song, but I hate when people sing too loud over a song

because it's quite nice to actually enjoy the tune. But then I sing over the song as well, so I can't really... But you're your own. It's someone else. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Who's in charge of the songs out in Pakistan? A lot of a time,

Baz actually, in the mornings, he rolls on with his speaker every morning has a jam and then after the games other people take over for a bit we've got obviously Mark Saxby he's like he's like everyone's

favourite person in this world and he does a lot of the tunes in the past I've done a fair bit of it a lot of the time on the bus in the morning I'll take it over what's your first song that you know is going to get everyone going I use on the way back from a game

I like Babylon. Okay. I wasn't expecting that. No whole news was that, actually. Yeah, just after a game, I feel like it's a good, good bus journey tune. But Baz's got the best speaker. Oh, there's a good, here's a good bit of info for you. I actually broke Baz's favorite speaker in the summer.

I got my first duck against India. Oh, no. And I felt so bad. And I don't normally get that angry when I get out. I'm normally pretty chilled, and I'm especially chilled after that. and I just like I dropped my back I knew I was done with the back because it had a big crack in it

I was like right and kicked it into the bin bounced off smashed into his speaker and then yeah put a massive dent in the side of it so I've now got that speaker in my kitchen

just with the dent facing the other way and then got him in a new speaker did you well not to it straight away yeah but I didn't actually see the dent in it and he was like oh what's going on here lads and I was like oh shit that was me

there was by my on my back with a dent in it as well so I'm not normally one to get angry but I've not actually got angry since I've got out since then as well so that's a good lesson otherwise you've got a good start about ducks you have hardly

had any you're like seventh and the least ducks in your test career wow but that was my one so fingers crossed it can stay that way you actually hold the record as well for the most catches from a substitute fielder

you're number one in the world for it guilty The stuff that you went into cricket for It's the one you were aiming for World Cup or that I've run out, crossy Yeah, so have I And I feel like we've taken too much of your time

By being a shambles That's cool I've got to love actually to watch that I think Oh perfect Yeah right We'll let you go and watch love actually Thank you so much Thanks Ollie

You've been a super thought Good luck in the third test Thank you See ya Thank you very much, Holly Pope. You were brilliant. Thanks for having a lot of patience with us. It wasn't the most professional we've ever been on this podcast.

No, it wasn't, but it was amazing. He did reveal the team, which has probably been edited out, but now it's gone out. So folks has got the gloves, and Rayan Ahmed is making his debut. How exciting, the youngest person to make their test debut in men's cricket for England. Amazing. Amazing. And it's doing the round. and I was like, no, no, no. Holly Colvin was 15 years old.

Oh, yeah. So we have to be careful. Yeah, but that was back when women's cricket literally like, if you were 12, you'd probably play for England. Yeah, yeah. But amazing, I'm looking forward to it. I reckon if England win the toss and bat, they're going to go so hard. Yeah, they'll probably want to win it in three days, aren't they?

And Ray and Ahmed smacks it. Yeah, I love that. I saw that they were doing in the preparation for this final test. They're doing a six-hating competition today. If that doesn't sum up... North versus South. If that doesn't sum up this team, I don't know what it does. No, I don't. It's unbelievable.

Just a quick one, before we round this one up, I want to say a big get-well soon to two players in our squad. Freya Kemp and Alice Kapser, who both got injuries when they're out there. Kempi's got a little, well, stress ratcher. I say a little. I don't know. I've not seen the scam, but, you know, 17, just making her England debuts and stuff and then get a slight injury.

That's crap, isn't it? Terrible. So yeah, sending her lots of love. She's actually in Barbados now with a family, so I'm sure she's fine. Yeah, I didn't realize. I think she'll be flying. I didn't realize they're having Christmas in Barbados. I'd have a stressy for that.

Yeah, a bit of time off. Love it. You've got something as well you want to bring up, don't you? Before we finish. Two things. I've got an ick, and I've got one thing on my sticky, you know, which we didn't talk about, but you bought a bikini out in the West Indies. And you didn't, you're not very good with maths.

We know you're not very good with maths. Terrible. And you did the exchange rate after you bought the bikini, and you spent £180 on a very average bikini. Yeah, I think it's one of Liz Hurley's. Not her actual bikini. I think I'd be paying a lot more for her actual bikini, but yeah, it's a Hurley?

And I didn't really, is it, is Hurley, Liz Hurley? Is it her brand? I don't know. Anyway, I'm going to say it is. But the good news is I got my bank statement through. It was only 140. Oh, okay. That's fine.

I'm not sure it is But yeah It was a sad day I don't think I've ever spent more than 13, 14 pound on a bikini And there's a reason why Because it literally doesn't do anything Other than protect you from Cover your modesty

Some sunburn in your bits Yeah Yeah well I hope yours did that I hope yours just came with like sun cream in it It did yeah It came with peanut caledas And Liz Early she was there She was with me

Yeah lovely And the other thing on my sticking note is an ick crossy i've i've found one that i just don't understand and a lot of people listen to this podcast you will do it and you're all going what is it but you do it i know you do because you are fans of sport but grown men in shirts football shirts cricket shirts yeah yeah no this is a big a bigick of mine actually i don't get it do you know what's worse you know what's worse at this time of year those same grown men choosing to wear the football shirt on top of their hoodie that a football game or on top of their coat.

Yeah, full track suit. They go to the club shop and they buy the full track suit. Is it worse for you? Is it more of a nick or less of a nick if they've got their own name on the back of the shirt versus like Messi or Ronaldo? It's more of a nick if you're 37 years old and you've got Messi 16 on your back. It is a good it for that. Yeah, I think...

That's like there are 10, but they go to the football in a football shirt. Yeah, that is exactly. that. And I think that should stop at the age of 13 onwards. Yeah, I think everyone's going to be offended by this. So Merry Christmas. I hope you're all well. We are going to try and do one before Christmas,

but if not, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Because you know what we're like. No, I'm not finished yet. I was just trying to be nice. Oh, go on then. I just had a DM that caught my attention the other day and I just want to read it out real quick. It says, hi, ladies. First time listener, second time writer. You may remember me as the bloke who got tricked into wearing a colourful shirt to an Oxford ball.

Yes. Throwback. Remember it. Yeah. After all your rooty poop stories, last episode, I thought I'd share what I'm told is an LBW. I don't like wearing clothes to go to the loo. And we'll take at least my shirt off when possible. Anyway, all the best.

And amazing work in the West Indies and in Pakistan, big fan Joe. I know. My partner does this. He does it all the time. What? He'll hang it on the door handle, so I know he's having a... what do you do when you're in public does he take his clothes off in public never asked him that because obviously he takes his shirt off but you pull your pants down so you are sat there

completely naked i think it's a i mean if i was your partner i'd be a bit devastated that this is the mention i've got on the podcast so going back to joe let's talk about it from joe's point of view joe what are you doing yeah what are you doing it's minus seven outside what are you doing i don't get i don't get it do you sweat he must you must sweat well i'll he's pushing. What's the point? Yeah, why do you need, why do you need to be bare skin to have a poo or a wee? Strange, isn't it? Odd, very odd. Do you get undressed on the toilet if you know you're having a shower? Yeah, if I'm getting straight in. Yeah, I do that as well. You put the shower on, have a, have a wee, get dressed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that makes sense,

though, that Joe and your partner doesn't make sense. No, I'd, yeah, first mention of him on the podcast again. Yeah. Okay. But in True Noble's fashion, nothing makes sense on this podcast, so it works. Yeah, it works. Well done, Joe. We've massively run over. We're really sorry, Henry. That's all right, because I've had a lot of fun. We have had a lot of fun. We hope you enjoyed Ollie Pope.

I thought he was brilliant. Gave us some good insight, some naughty news about the test team. We are going to try and do a Christmas special, but you are so busy. You've got his sister's wedding. Sister's wedding, going to sports personality of the year then going to Cardiff for a little holiday Yeah, busy, busy Yeah, and I'm getting dressed for it out

I'm sorry, sorry, you've never told me this Who are you going with? What are you doing? I'll ring you after this, we'll have a catch-up Right, okay, I've got TV in 12 minutes So give me a ring now Right, okay, everyone, please get in some Christmas kind of themed questions to us on Noblespodcast at BBC.com.com.com.com.com.com.

. Cheers, everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Heartley balls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Can you remember the worst day of your life? How would you feel if someone told you that day never happened, that you were being paid to make it up? For people who've lived through terrible disasters,

this is a shockingly common experience. I'm Marianna Spring, the BBC's disinformation and social media correspondent. In the BBC Radio 4 podcast, disaster trolls, I investigate how people caught up in the Manchester Arena bombing and other UK terror attacks are being targeted with extreme conspiracy theories and abuse. To hear the podcast now, subscribe to Disaster Trolls on BBC Sounds. Sorry, Ollie. This is the worst we've been.