Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - England win in India and Alex hits the slopes!

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley give their low-down on the England and West Indies men's wins over the weekend, and Alex has the latest from her first skiing trip in 15 years.

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Listen on BBC Sounds. Music Radio Podcasts Hi everyone the BBC have told us that we've got to issue a warning We swear too much Henry does beep it out for us because he's a good man

It is actually so that your family can all listen Your kids can listen But we will say sugar That's not a really bad one Cross comes in round the wicket Boulder, Boulder, leaving a ball alone, Litchfield.

Think it's the wobble ball, and it just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beautiful cross. Hello, and welcome back to No Balls of Cricket Podcast. Fee Kate Cross, you Alex Hartley, why are you laughing? Because you just shouted in my earhole. Because that's what we do.

We shower at the beginning. Hello, this poor listeners. Yeah, wake up, everyone, come on. There's no balls time. You can tell. You're in bed. How we've got told Henry's rule this week is do not sit in bed, do not look like you're in bed,

look like you and feel like you're in the studio because we don't sound as good when we're in bed. Okay, one's it. One sec, right. Okay, she's set up. I've sat up now. Are you okay? You look nothing. I'm sorry.

Crossy, I've never been this tired in my whole life. In fact, I have this one time back when I played cricket for England in my first ever camp when I got sent home. That's how tired I am. You need to tell everyone why you're so tired. Well, I've spent four days doing exercise because I'm skiing for the first time in 15. years and oh my word you forget how hard it is I feel like you can't it is don't get me

wrong but I feel like skiing isn't an exercise it's not like I know it is and I know I do know because it hurts the body but it doesn't feel like it should be no it feels like it shouldn't be because you're not doing anything but harry tracked an hour and a half of his ski and he hurt 600 calories oh wow right I think of myself on the slopes yeah so it's no wonder all you can eat is burger chips and pizza. I am so, so jealous of you right now. The ski holiday is the, it's the holiday that you book when you retire and you've gone away. Where are you? Which, which slopes you on? I'm in Leje. So we're doing Lejeie Morsin in France. But skiing is on the band list of being a professional athlete because it's dangerous. So obviously, as soon as I got the

opportunity to book a ski trip, I did. And I do not regret it. It's been, hilarious in so many ways but obviously no one can see you because we're not in the studio but you're like propped up against some pillows leaning against a bear do I take a picture? I feel like it was better when put it back where it was so I could see the angle of your body don't know how to do it on the iPad I always cover myself up oh yeah there we go it's just got my thumb in the picture

that's all right one yeah so it's um I've to put it In context, how tired I am. I'm on this nice romantic holiday with my other half and his uncle. Is he the one that eats the potpourri? No, he's not. That's my uncle. But last night, I fell asleep at half nine and the night before I woke up at 8.30. Exercise, Al, does it to you?

I know. It's almost like those two spring classes you've done in the last four weeks. I haven't prepared you for this holiday. Got it. Absolutely good. How are you, by the way? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. I feel like I look a bit better than you do.

And I thought I was tired. I thought I was a bit tired. No, I'm flying compared to you. But no, I'm okay, thanks. I honestly got nothing to report. Nothing's happened. And that's the end of no balls, the cricket pocket. No, it's not because we do actually have some cricket to talk about.

This feels like it's the emergency pod. It's not. This is our little window that the BBC have given us so that this should go out on a day that no other. the podcast go out on the BBC and that cricket. This is, we've been asking, what day should we record, you're in charge, you're our boss is Monday.

Oh God, I'm going to holiday. Yep, no problem. Yeah, we'll do it. Got no data, I'll use the boyfriends, we'll work it out. I did try to get Tommy Hartley on. Sent him a little message, but he's gone to bed.

He said he's very tired. I could have told you that, being my brother and all that, so I could have said that he was tired. Just to put it out there. Everyone's been asking. Is that your brother? What are the chances, right, of the parents breeding two left-arm spinners,

both playing for Lancashire? It's just not a good thing. Oh, you're not halted? That's what they're doing, Bernie. They breed left-arms sprit them. No. Hear it first. Here it last.

I don't want to talk about again. Me and Tom are brothers. No, we are not brother and sister. I was going to tweet yesterday saying how nice it is to see, so we're wearing Hartley on their shirt, play for England and get a FIFA, but I thought, you won't see it. You're skiing.

Yeah, I wouldn't see it. But it wouldn't be very good. Good banter. Instead, I tweeted, I watched his post-match interview. We might as well just talk about the cricket now that we're here, but these post-match interview is so funny. They said, I think Harsh asked him, what were you thinking after the first innings?

Because he got hit for a six first ball of his test career. And he just said, I was just thinking, this is going to be hard work. And then he goes and gets a seventh for in the second innings. So good. So good. And also what I love about it is after day one, everyone was like, told you he was rubbish, told you his rubbish, he was great.

You know, he had a bad couple of days, bad day. Ben Stokes backed him. He gave him those longer spells. He came back and went, screw you. Here's six for. Ben Stokes spoke really well about that long spell at the beginning because obviously he was going at 9s or 10s for 7 or 8 overs in his first spell, Tom Hartley.

And Stokes kept him on and he said in his interview, I knew that I'm going to have to turn to him at some point later in the game. So me dragging him off and making him lose confidence, he's doing nothing for him, nothing for the team. So he was prepared to risk it there so that he could then go on and do better things in the second innings. And it's just unbelievable leadership from Stokes, isn't it? So if some of you live under a rock and you don't know what we're talking about,

England won the first test match in India. That's the first time India I've ever lost a test match in India with a 65 run being ahead. Yeah, there it is. That's the lead. Yeah, well it was like they were 190 odd in front

after the first inning, so something daft. Yeah, Sir Crossy, I obviously didn't see it. There's so much cricket role reversal that you need to fill me in on. I've had three days holiday and I've missed all three days of the best cricket ever. Honestly, you've missed so much Alka's not. only of England beat India

in India, the West Indies beat Australia for the first time in something like 27 years in Australia and it was just unbelievable the scenes. Have you seen the video? No, I've got no delta. The West Indies getting that. Oh my God, I'll right, when you come home, we're going to have to have a little catch-up.

And then, not only that, South Africa women beat Australia for the first time ever in the history of that. Did they actually? Yeah, they beat them in a T-20. So like, Cricket just turned itself upside down over the weekend and you're just gallivanting in the slow...

Why have I gone away on the most important weekend of cricket? Okay, so West Indies, I saw the bowler that got wickets broke his toe and nearly didn't turn up to the ground. Yeah, so Shamar Joseph is my new favourite bowler in the world because his story is unbelievable. He comes from like a really remote part of Guyana, I think it is. and I'm going to get this up actually because I want to do him justice

because his story is ridiculous but he didn't actually break his toe but he did get hit on the foot by Mitchell Star by Mitchell Star by Mitchell Star Yorker and he only got deemed fit to come to the ground about an hour before play started on that final day

so let me just get his information up so yeah he was one thing I have seen is somebody tweeting saying go read his Wikipedia yeah so that That's exactly what I did.

And honestly, it's incredible. So I might say this wrong, but Joseph's from Barakara, which is a small community in East Guyana, basically. And to try and, like, give you the extent of how remote this place is, they only got the internet in 2018. What? Yeah. So he had, like, no access to internet facilities or telephone connections.

It only had one black and white television. and no other modes of communication except for landlines so like it's you know you're talking like really far out in the sticks here and he basically loved watching the likes of

Kurtley Ambrose Bowl and he went and I think he became a net bowler for the West Indies team or something you know he left his village he went to try and get money for his family and went and got a job elsewhere and then he's just in the last

18 months to two years just absolutely flown onto the scene and then he's on debut taken, well, he got Smith out first ball on his debut. Wow. And then he's gone and got that seventh on Sunday to win West Indies the game against Australia. It was just unbelievable scenes.

So that series ended up in 1-1 and it was only a two-match series. Yeah, yeah. So he's my new favourite cricketer, Shamar Joseph. Shout out. Shout out. Well, I hope they're still celebrating.

I'm sure they will. It's the West Indies, of course, they will be. We celebrate it. Partying through the night. Yeah, a week before their next test series. I'm going to read you a quote by Stefan Schmelt, our friend of the pod, who I think he sums up the England win perfectly. I don't know if he wrote an article or whether he said this out loud,

but he said, you just can't take your eyes off these blokes. When you think that they might go quietly into the night, they pour another drink. Next thing you know, there's a full on rave going on in your front room. Nothing can match this, not just beating an Indian team who are almost unbeatable at home, but doing so with a spinner on one leg one spinner who won't be first choice

at his county next season another who's not old enough to qualify for the national minimum wage but one more who wasn't even allowed into the country Wow Wow okay so who's on one leg Jack Leach

hurt his knee Is he out of the series or not Not seen anything yet but I have seen that KRL and Jadaja are out of the next test match Right what they're done Jadaja's then his hammy and

Caleb all has done his quad. Right, okay. Wow. So yeah, just unbelievable. The whole game was mad. I woke up on Sunday at about 10, and I thought it'll probably be a game over one way or the other. And India were 170 for 7.

I was like, oh, oh. It got close, didn't it? It did get close. I think we won about 20, 30 in the end, so it was, and it was down for the last over. No, that was the West Indies game. I think. Oh, okay, okay.

So, for me, we're talking a lot about Tommy Hartley, rightly so, being, you know, brother of mine, left arm spin. 28 runs, we won't buy? Wow. Okay, left arm spinners union, but Olly Pope, 197. Ollie Pope, what a bloke. He did a great interview as well. I feel like I'm, like, proud big sister here.

I'm really, like, I was just buzzing seeing them all do. really well but he spoke about how well he'd prepared for this series because he dislocated his shoulder and had the surgery so he said i had months to prepare for it and he's actually really tapered his technique to um be able to play in those conditions in india i'd obviously love to know the more like in depth where he didn't go into that yeah but you know just being able to sweep reverse sweep because i saw a start a mad start that he've done something like 17 reverse sweeps in his England career and he did 17 on day two alone or something in that innings

wow so he really went into the you know the the Keating Jennings-esque innings where he's like nudging the ball around sweeping reverse sweeping etc so but he was he was well he kept the game alive for England really because without him Tom wouldn't have had his opportunity to you know to have a score to ball at in the second inning this makes me so so excited for the next test match and it's only around the corner. I know, so they start the next test on Thursday, I think.

Yeah, I'm working Friday, so I don't know if it starts Thursday on Friday. Perfect. Yeah, so, yeah, buzzing. It's just, we said, didn't we? We said, what are your predictions? I was like, oh, it's going to be really difficult. And then they've just gone and pulled off one of the best wins that we're probably ever going to see in this generation.

I just love this England team. Like, I love them so, so much. That's what I think I love the most about Stefan's tweet about who's saying you think they're going to go quietly into the night and then they just pour themselves another drink and the next minute they're having a party in your living room. Yeah, it's like nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.

So, right, we've done the West Indies, we've done England in India. Congrats lads keep going. There's still four test matches to go. But even if you don't win another test match, that was unreal. Australia, South Africa. How? How? How of South Africa being the greatest sporting team in the world? Let me just get that scorecard up, so I can't best that up.

I feel like your correspondence today are. I'm really getting this. I guess I'm coming for your job. No, I feel like your correspondence. Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm giving you all the information. I guess I crossies coming for your job. Right.

So, Australia, go, we've never spoke this much about cricket and the history of this podcast. Australia batted first, 142 for 6 off 20. South Africa willing, 144 for 4 off 19. they did it with an over to spare. Wolfie, Laura Wolfart, 58 off 53. Tasman Brits, 41 off 28, and then everyone else chipped in.

So just it looks like a good performance. I didn't watch any of it, but Australia is starting to get beat by teams out. It's so good to see though, isn't it? I know we said it during the ashes when you beat them and you drew the series 8-8 and it's good to see Australia lose. Obviously, we love Australia losing. But actually, you know, Pakistan beating New Zealand.

South Africa beat in Australia, Sri Lanka beat in England, like, it's getting closer, it's getting better. Yeah, it is. And that is so, so good for our global game. I don't know how many matches they're playing in their series, but imagine if South Africa beat Australia at home on their home soil. Oh, my God, I'd love it so much. How good would that be? I'm guessing you've not really got anything on you're sticking out because you've not been doing anything other than skiing. No, I haven't. I've been off grid. And what I have got is trough and peak of the week, though. Trough, oh gosh, right, yeah.

Trough and. Peak of the week. Peak of the week. That was good. That was good. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first? Yeah, I've got a good trough, actually.

It happened today. So I went into my niece's school to do a cricket session because they've been desperate to try and get a chance to shine to go in. So I was going to go in a show and tell, and then we thought we'd kind of collab and do a big cricket day for the girls. So I'm doing the assembly, old school assembly stood at the front and the guy who's leading it was like

Does anyone know who Kate Cross is Does anyone recognise her or watch cricket know who she is So a few kids put the hands up And I'm thinking I'm guaranteed at least two people in that room Know me because they're related to me Yeah, they both kept their hands down No, they didn't Yeah, Nora and Iris were just sat there

But didn't put the hands up I thought, girls you know me, I'm your auntie Oh, what? Did you call them out? I did say I was a bit disappointed to see that my niece didn't put her hand up but iris the youngest one she's only five um she they had the opportunity to ask me questions in the assembly and then my brother her dad had asked her before school are you going to ask antiquated question she said no i don't talk in assembly because everyone's bigger than me oh my god so cute so yeah true the week did you get like

what's your favorite disney princess oh they asked me how the podcast is going for a start They asked me what my aspirations are for 2024. They asked me who was my inspiration. Honestly, these questions were so well prepared. Because not your favorite sandwich. What's your favourite sandwich? Watch your subway topping. Watch your pizza.

No, none of that. It was really good. What? What? I mean, so cute of you to go in for your niece's school though. It was cute. But big flex that for show and tell your niece has taken her international superstar auntie. Very cute.

She asked me. Someone taking like a pet snail. Oh, I've brought it. and to Kate. She'd message me, well, my brother messaged me on Friday saying Nora wants to know what you wearing on Friday, on Monday, sorry, for the school visit. So I said, probably

my Lank's kick, because I'm going in with Lancashire. And she's got a little Superchargers top, so she was going to wear it so we'd match. And I was like, I'm not really quite sure I can wear the old Superchargers top to a Lancashire event, but maybe next time. Could I give it a go. Could have given it a go. Could have cried.

My trough of the week, I actually have forgotten, probably because I think it's how sore and tired I am on a holiday. And I know that sounds like, ooh, you're on holiday, you're tired, are you? But oh my gods, we're skiing today. And it's like 2 o'clock. And I'm thinking, if Harry wants to go up these chairlifts again, I'm, I'm, because my shins are screaming, my knees are screaming.

I'm like, so I said, are you ready to go home? He's like, yes. I was like, oh, thank God for that big relief. But you forget when you take your ski boots off how good it feels. Oh, that relief. Oh, my God. It's better than taking your spikes off at the end of the day, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

It's your body just gets sore in places that you just didn't know were a thing. Have you had any mega falls or anything? Well, that's my peak of the week. All right, go on then. Go straight in. My peak of the week is for Christmas two years ago. my dad bought me these sunglasses that record stuff so you click a button in this film right i'm not used them at all because i've not had when i'm i going to use these glasses and he says

to me before we call him you still got those glasses i got you for christmas said yeah he said the ones that take pictures and record i said yeah you went take them skiing so i've taken them skiing i've logged the ski trip and harry oh no i've only skied once before this trip and i have recorded every single time he's fallen. Have you seen those videos that are going around on TikTok and Instagram at the minute that's like the family that skis and they're like, shh, shh, down the slope. The next video is someone falling down. It's like the person that marries into a ski family and they're just tumbling down a slope.

I feel like that's Harry. So my TikTok's going to be, my friend, I'm about to do a big trick. And I've got his face planted and, The first time I laughed out loud, the next few times I didn't laugh. I wanted to make sure he's okay. He's actually broken his thumbs. I feel quite sorry for him. Sorry, Harry.

It's been so fun. I can hear him laughing in the loomery. I've got his bones. He's reading his book. And then today, he literally did a full somersault, and I couldn't help but howl. And he was like, I've landed on my bum. I've landed on my bum bleeding. Oh, no.

Bless it. I'm excited for this video. So good. I'll put the video on the other was account. Yeah. You'll have to get permission from him to do that. Oh, I don't need that. Do it anyway.

I don't know if I've got a peak of the week again. It's January still. Still January. Yeah. No, it's not February yet, isn't it? No, it's still January. Oh, my. Oh, I've got a peak.

I've got a peak. So I did dry January up until the 27th of January. went out with my mates on it's not a trick and this isn't a peak actually it's probably a trough but I went out with my friends on Saturday because we've got three birthdays

in January in my school group went out for a really nice meal and had a few bottles of wine we were just all we're just in the mood you know and someone just mentioned are we staying out

and we ended up going out and I ended up in a nightclub in Manchester and the worst bit of it was that I was comfortably like we were comfortable of the oldest group in there and yeah like you don't know

you don't quite know the songs like you're looking around you're like oh my gosh all these people are like under 20 years all that it's really really bad but loved loved it had such a good night everyone was on thoughtful it was a great night out woke up and go over on Sunday hated it yeah but how good is a spontaneous night out yeah it was and we've got

we've got mums in the group now we've got soap and fliss who are well we've got a one year old and a three month old so relatively new mums so when they're out you've got to make the most of it because it doesn't happen often so were they like girls I'm child free

we're staying out yeah well Sof doesn't normally stay out after a meal because she gets up at five with her son the next like the next the following day and she was like

oh come on then we'll have one more so if Sof's having one more we're all having one more we gotta go go go go go get out we're having one more yeah so good night good weekend

yeah I'm like good I've got an unpacked that I want us to go upstairs with this week. Oh, that's good. You were going to have to read the emails out as well because I've got no data to download the email. Before we go upstairs, Al,

we put this on our Instagram story, but if anyone doesn't follow us on Instagram, Henry, producer Henry, Bessis does this week, asking us how many downloads we think we've had since we started? Yeah. You were a bit out, actually, with your first guess. 1.9 million I went.

No, you went 700,000 first. Oh. Oh, I went 700,000. Which is 10 episodes worth. Yeah. We're actually done what I was thinking. We've done 98, well, this will be our 99. Oh my God, we're bringing up our 100 soon now.

We're going to have to get a proper guess for that one. So this is our 99th episode with the BBC. We've had 5.5 million downloads. Hello, no-ballers, producer Henry here. I thought I'd better jump in because unusually for Kate and Alex, there's been a little bit of a administrative error because this is not episode number 99. It's episode number 97, as I explained to them both in the WhatsApp group a few days ago.

So save your 100th episode congratulations for a little while longer. I'm sure we'll do something special. And in the meantime, I'm going to make sure that Kate and Alex get nowhere near scoring or statistics or any form of counting whatsoever. Anyway, back to the show. why don't for our 100th episode we try and get that England cricketer's mum that keeps sliding into my DMs

oh my gosh shall we I think we should we absolutely should and then everyone will know and it would be great and we should interview her about what it's like being a mum of a superstar yes yes let's try to do that

okay we'll work it out I'm just actually on my sticky notes and one small thing that happened this week as well that we should probably mention is Nat Siver Brunt being voted ICC when it's cricket of the year for the second year

running. We're not surprised that. So good. Obviously not. We're not surprised. I have a glass of red on us. Well done, Natty. Anyway, I want to go upstairs

with Richard Ellingworth because he was the ICC umpire of the year this year so I think it's only right we go up with him. I like Richard Ellingworth as well. Lovely. Let's go.

Let's take him upstairs, baby. Beb Wardiola. A perfectionist. A tactical. genius. The best manager of his generation. The best manager in history. Reserve team coach Peve Gadiola, a popular former player at the new camp will take over from Rycard. This is a podcast all about the man who has shaped the modern game. It feels almost as if he's solved the riddle, if he's cracked a code for football. From his history in LaMassia

to dominating football across Europe. He's brought a brand of football to the Premier League that we've never seen before. Everybody plays like Pep's teams now. On football, he takes you to heaven. Five Life Sporting Giants, Pep Guardiola Listen on BBC Sounds Okay, questions for the pod.

Hello, Alexandra and Catherine. Oh, cool. Sex. Recent listener, is not sexy. Recent listener working my way through your back catalogue, first time emailer.

Two questions for you, ladies, and prior apologies if this email turns out long. Number one, for certain T20 internationals and 100 games, what do you think about playing shirts with playing nicknames on the back in addition to their surnames? Yeah, I like the surname but I understand some people have really long surnames

so a shorter version may be needed. It happens a bit in the WPL, doesn't it? It's a bit quirkier and like Nat has NSB on her back and Quentin de K has Q, D, K. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure because I'd be like, NSB, who's that? Obviously, I know when I see a fifth, obviously. But do you know what I mean?

It is more the fun element of it, isn't it? I think if you play in traditional test cricket and internationals, it needs to be your surname, but I don't dick like it. But no one calls you that. If it ever calls you heart. 5'000, 65 on the back of my shirt. Yeah, everyone would know who that is then. Yeah, true.

Question number two. At the moment, which music genre or artist is slash are you most into? And do any of your teammates have really odd or questionable music tastes, such as my love of black metal and death metal? Wow. You go first. I'm into, I'm a big indie fan. I'm switched to Radio X now, Al.

Toby Tarant listening to him. I know, I know, I know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, you cannot be listening to a man who hosts a Zero Ducks podcast. No, I do, but I've not voted for them in our awards, so, and he knows that, how it did message him and tell him that I'm voting for us. But, like Sam Fender, that kind of vibe, that's bit of me at the minute. I am a bit of the music. Like, I will listen to whatever is on.

Yeah, do you just like anything that's got a beat, basically. I do, my guilty pleasure is dance music. You're like dirty dance music. You've got a mad ability as well to just be able to recite song lyrics from like 10, 15 years ago, but you know every single word. What's that?

Is it a Jamie T song that you just, you just blare out? Yeah, yeah. I like, yeah, I like them all. I literally like them all. And then I remember one time you're like, I'm going to learn the lyrics to this song, you can't.

I was like, I already know them. Was that Girls like By Tiny Temper Yeah I said it was around Oh yeah I haven't

Oh yeah I was a plan So Jake That's the rule That's no rolling Um Loving what Oh sorry

No one's got bad Or different music tastes really In everyone's quite Radio 1 vibes In the dressing room I would say Our analyst

Honourists likes listening to black metal And death metal though He's a big Syxy Shout at Sykesy

Auxie Loveing what you ladies are doing your fantastic ambassadors for women's cricket and your focus on mental health and wellness is so important in today's world never apologise for being unapologetically yourselves. All the best, John from New Zealand.

Thanks, John. Good I might, that's Australia but you're close enough. Wow. Oh, we had an update from Toby. Do you remember Toby with the one that he fancies, use your words Kate, the one that he fancied on a dating app.

Yes, yes. Okay, so Toby didn't know how to like someone on a dating app or if he should message her or something. So yes, bring us the up. So he liked a girl that he knows, he knows this, well, he knows of her, liked her, but then needed advice for the next bit because nothing had happened. So he messaged us saying, good evening no balls TCP. Just listen to the most recent episode. I was shocked to hear my email got read out.

Crossie. Sorry to say, you're not the cricketer, that is the answer to which player I would date. And then, saw her on the dating app, would be some way to try and slide into the DMs. Sadly, I don't know the player in question outside of watching her play cricket at the Oval. So I will haul tight and if she doesn't fancy me, then I'll live. But thanks for the advice, love it, settled the nerves. On another note, there appears to have been a lot of a response to the dating chat. What are the chances of a romance special?

could be quite a laugh all the best and go well should we do like speed dating for crossy on the podcast what about for just thinking off the top of my head for valentine's day should we get everyone to email in their like their love conundrums and we'll do a love episode on the podcast for valentine's day so she plays at the oval we could narrow this down al i think we could work it out to me we need more clues we need more clues we need more clues

We need more clues, but is it Alice Capsie? I was thinking that. Oh. Gregory, he plays at the Oval. I'll ask Alice if she knows anyone by the name of Toby. Yeah. Ask Alice if you go on her dating apps. You've got what's going on.

Next email. This is called my first email to you. Hi, Alex and Kate. I've just caught up with your last two episodes, which were brilliant, as usual, and also registered my vote with the Sports Podcast Awards. So good luck. For this year, I want Alex to become an even more irreplaceable member of the TMS team.

I thought she was going to say irritable. Well, you know, potato, potato. And Kate to become an ever more important member of the England team, taking more wickets and after India, who knows, maybe runs. Here's hoping. Keep doing what you're doing. Ladies, keep making us laugh and also making us proud. Kind of regard, Malcolm. Yes, thank you, Malcolm.

I'm sorry for calling you a lady. Oh, gosh, this is why we're not going to win that award. By the way, we're up for an award. Go on to Sports Podcast Awards on Google or on our Instagram page. We've got a link on there, or it's always on Twitter. Go on there for us because I'm already listening to Toby on the radio, so that's enough. Yeah, that's enough. That's enough, Toby. A little shout out.

Sorry, sorry to interrupt you. It is mad that he's related to. Chris Tarrant. I know. Like Chris Tarrant growing up was like such a legend. It was so famous, wasn't he? So, so famous, wasn't he? He does a really good impression of his dad as well.

Does he? Then Toby Tarrant, can I follow you on Instagram? I'm like, yeah, can your dad as well? Okay, that's got weird. Hello, Kate and Alex, Alex and Kate. I'd love it if you could give my brother Sam a little shout out on No Ball's The Cricket Podcast. He's recently had to move in with his in-laws

due to a hold-up in the house-buying chain so a little hello from you pair would cheer him up, no end. It'll be worth it in the end, mate. He recommended the pod to me in the first place, so obviously he has impeccable taste. Thank you and keep up the great work. Cheers, Holly. Oh, Sam, I feel for you.

Sam, I couldn't do that. Well, you couldn't. You've got no in-laws. Oh, yeah? I was thinking we were about to my mom and dads. I couldn't do that. You got moving with the in-laws. Oh, you got a date of someone to have.

That's what I'd have me. I bet there's one out there that would have me as their daughter-in-law. The strange laws are strangers. Oh. Sam's not all right. Sam, I hope it's going all right. Hi, both. I have for 20-24 is treating you well so far,

despite the weather. I have a suggestion for a guest that I don't think has been on before. Meg lay. Yes. Meg lays some grass. Meg lays some grass. Meg cuts some grass. Yeah.

She is the grounds lady at Bristol. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She did the Commonwealth Games. Ashes game. Ash's game at Edgebaston. She was Head Grown.

We'd love to hear, Head Grounding. We'd love to hear about what goes on. into prepping a pitch for a match and any stories of when things didn't go to plan. Loving the pod, I just voted for you. Go well, Bev. Yes, Bev, that's actually a great shout. Really good shout.

Meglayer won, like, sports grasslayer influencer of the year or something as well. It was mad. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, maybe we should get her on. I think we've quite behind on guest cell. I think there's loads of people out there

that we've just not thought about. Harry, we've not got a guest fancy coming on. watching walking now can hear someone moving hello kate hello Alex thank you for your continued podcast excellent everyone's been so nice this week your podcast is terrible

imagine Henry's just not sending those ones onto us I would prefer zero ducks in response to your recent request for guest suggestion may I suggest easy Wong yes another good one is it but she's a tail ender yeah she is

she's on the dark side no we don't like the tail enders either do we really because they're so good well we just like beating them we do like them we just don't like the fact that they have a bigger audience than us it feels like we've got to really fight for our listeners yeah well they do have

Greg James and Jimmy Anderson who've got like four million followers between them yeah and matching matching basically the mayor of Bristol I know the influencer of He's the influence of the tail enders. Yeah. He carries them, I reckon.

Yeah. Anyway, Izzy didn't have her best year last year and saw some big challenges with her form. I'd be really interested to hear how she dealt mentally with the challenge with so many of her games being live televised. I'd love to hear her shifts in training, the new way she's approaching her technique and mindset. These processes are so often done behind the scenes

and it'd be awesome to hear about. Best of luck and thank you for sharing your stories with us. Go well, Gary. we could ask her but it's obviously all about what she would want to share yeah very true we can ask have we got one more good one we've done 34 minutes so yes one more this one of course we're going to end on one that says posh toilets perfect hi ladies and emery like Alex's mum and dad we too have a posh toilet

the remote for it is indeed akin to a smart TV remote the fact that they've used the word akin in this email goes to show that they are very posh individual people the remote for it is indeed akin to a smart tv remote two individual settings back front dry treatments can manipulate the water pressure and position whether it pulsates or oscillates very complicated and i must admit i don't personally use all of the features i actually use none of them but my wife's west by the it really does come into its own though, if you're high up on the Bristol stool chart, the six or the seven. We know what the Bristol stool chart is, don't we, everyone?

Six or seven, Alex. What does that mean? Wet. We probably save at least one toilet roll a month, so doing our bit to save the planet. I calculate the toilet will pay for itself in terms of savings on toilet roll in about 20 years, which won't happen to us since we're planning on moving house soon, and getting a bush toilet installed will be one of the first things done, Tim, in Florida. amazing. Who flooring it?

Yeah. That's what Sam needs to get sorted at his in-laws. That'd make it all a lot better. Everyone'd be a lot happy if they've got a posh toilet. Everyone needs a posh toilet. Yeah. So you picked a bone with me at the end of last week's podcast, didn't you? Yeah.

And I want you to tell everyone what's happened this week because I feel like I've rectified the issue. Well, yeah, you actually offended me by saying, I've not said you can have these trousers because I don't think they'll fit. I put them on. They fit really, really nicely around the waist and they were so tight on my ass.

So are you keeping them or are you going to give them to Thie Morris? I'm going to give them to Fee Morris because I was humbled. Yes, okay. Yeah, that's fine, absolutely fine. At least now we're okay, we're on okay terms. But I do, I've got a bow of the pick with you this week.

Oh, no. Because you said something that was fascinating this week. Was it this fake it was? It doesn't matter when it was. You claim that you don't wash your clothes. Yeah, I don't. I don't wash my clothes. I find that.

For the clean freak that you are, I find that absolutely bizarre. Yeah, I'll wash my clothes if I spill on them. Obviously, I'll wash my gym kit, which I wear once a month. And I'll wash my knickers. My socks I wear for two or three times dependent on smell, but yeah, clothes I'm not that bothered about. You don't wash your clothes.

I think you got into my head about me using the washing machine so much. I was just going to say, what, have you been putting in the washing machine this whole time if it's not your clothes? I'm surprised you've not got a wash on now. We probably have. Yeah, since Harry moved in and since I stopped playing cricket, I just don't wash my clothes. I'll wash this because

smells a bit funky after three days' skin. Yeah. I'll wash dirty clothes, but if I'm just sitting in the house wearing a t-shirt, I won't wash it. Or if I go to work in a shirt and I don't spill on it and it doesn't smell, I'll put it back in their wardrobe.

Really? I have to wear things once and then wash them. Washing them ruins them, though, don't it? It depends what it is, I guess. I understand the t-shirt one. Like, if I've worn a t-shirt and I've knits up to the shops, so I'm not going to put that in the wash.

But it just blew my mind that you don't wash any clothes and you've found your washing machine on straight for 20 years. Yeah, I can't remember. My trousers are worth work. I don't reckon I've ever washed a pair of trousers. Okay, yeah, fair. Anyway, I just wanted to pick the bone with you. That's all right.

That's it. My final thing to say, it's going to be my parting note, is I just hope them folks is okay. Wow, what's wrong with him? Did you see him clatter the stumps? Yeah, absolutely clattered the stumps. I hope you're right, Ben. Yeah, Ben, that is a dint to the ego.

And unfortunately, it went viral. So if you've not seen it, just type it into the old Googles, and you will see Ben Stump. Ben Stumps. Nice. Ben, folks, clattering the thundks. Don't forget to email us on. No Borespodcast at BBC.co.com.

No, boars podcast at BBC.co.com. It's so good. They said it twice. Have you liked it in French? Bonjour Auvoir Merci Right, bye everyone

I'm going bed night Were you right Something on your sticking out this week please Yeah sorry about me All right Bye Cross I'm doing round the wicket

Holder Boulder leaving a ball alone Litchfield Think it's the wobble ball And it just nips back It jags back It's the nipbacker That is a beauty

From Kate Cross An absolute seed. That is a beautiful cross. On the Football Daily podcast. The Women's Football Weekly. With me, Ellen White. Ellen White, coming forward.

Brinkland is there is the second. And me, Ben Haynes, with some of the biggest names in the WSL, joining us every week to discuss everything that's happening in the women's game. Right after the World Cup, got told, we're going to America. I thought, amazing.

10 days in training did my meniscus and the next day they flew to America. Block 10 to 6 yards out, tell them why! The Women's Football Weekly Podcast. New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to the Football Daily on BBC Sounds. Cheeky.