Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - Kate's ready for India, Alex had a journey to forget and Kumar Dharmasena has a perfume out...

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley are together again, with Kate in Oman playing a lot of golf and Alex recovering from a *truly* horrible journey. Plus, lots of emails and DMs!

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The BBC have told us that we've got to issue a warning. We swear too much. Henry does beep it out for us because he's a good man. It is actually so that your family can all listen. Your kids can listen. But we will say... Sugar. That's not a really bad one.

Cross comes in round the wicket. Boulder, Boulder, leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. I think it's the wobble ball, and it just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beauty from Cross. Hello, and welcome back to No Balls. It's our No Balls voice with me, Alex Hartley, and you, Kate Cross. We didn't even decide who was going to start this podcast.

Well, I looked at you and you weren't looking at me, so I went. It worked well because I didn't go. See, we're just meant to be as a duo. We're jelling. Which means that we might be on for a good episode. We better add B-crossy, because we've been on the phone an hour and a half, but we've ran out of things to talk about. We're like, right, we've got a podcast to do, let's get it done.

We couldn't be more back-to-basic snowballs here. you're in bed, I'm in bed. We're in different countries. We can't work the time zones out. It's been a shambles, but we're here. We are here. Get used to it. We're not going anywhere.

How are you? Yeah, I'm good, Al. I'm good. I feel like I just need to set the record straight a little bit because I'm getting a lot of stick. We're not on a holiday, guys. Yeah, whatever. Whatever. Are you joking?

I know social media is real life right but the girls are by this amazing swimming pool having beach days you're playing golf every day and then every now and then you go better remind people we're training yeah so I'm not I'm not naive I know what it looks like it looks like we're on a golf trip

we're not on a golf trip we're on a training camp we're playing golf in between the training What people aren't seeing is the training because we're really working hard at training and you can't film when you're there. Like, I can't film me bowling. Yeah. So Emarsh, our content creator, is now in the country. So you're going to start seeing us training.

You're going to fill in the gaps. The days that you don't see stuff on social media, we're at a cricket ground. I promise you. He said to me yesterday, or today actually went, I was asleep by 10. I was like, oh, must have had one big day at training. Had two big days. They had us in nine till four. on feet all day

getting ready for the test match and I was asleep by 10. But in all seriousness you cannot train all day every day so I do get it but it very much looks like a holiday. It really has looked like that but I'm just sitting there and go straight guys

it's not a holiday. It's not a holiday. We're working so hard. How's it coming out? Oh really well. I've remembered how to bowl. Yeah? Remembered. I've got these little pitch maps

that Mace are bowling coach Matt Mason has been doing for me and I'm just hovering around that top of off stump mark again back to our best just turning in what about your driver driver's going all right chipping not good

putting awful three put every hole awful but I'm getting better I am okay wait are you talking about my driver a cricket oh golf well that's your mindset sorry sorry are you talking work or play I was talking play

We'd make a good golf team Because the only thing I'm good at is chipping Right yeah right We need to play then We need to get you into golf We do I think I think Harry would hate that Because that's like a him thing

Yeah Well it's a me and him thing So you'd be intruding on my and Harry time Yeah Yeah I quite like the peace and quiet sometimes Although I miss you And when he's like I'm seeing Crossie I want to see Crossy

We've not seen each other have we No, the hair How are you? How are you? I'm good, thank you. I'm good, thank you. You're feeling better? Yeah, Crossie, I've not been well.

Not well. Like, picked up a bug. I'm ready to talk about it and ready to laugh about it now, but I picked up a bug on the last day of my day in India, right?

And I fly home on Friday, saying my goodbyes Thursday night, I'm fly to Dubai with Dan North Cross. We podcasted. We podcasted Thursday night and you were okay then, but you were flying in the morning, weren't you? So I got up, went to my flight, flew to Dubai, absolutely fine, said goodbye to Norcross. He was flying to Heathrow and flying to Manchester.

So I had a beef burger the whole time I'm there, so I think, get in. I go to Shake Shack. I'm on the electronic thing, and I order a double cheeseburger and cheesy chips. And I do a little bit of a wet fart, and I think that was a bit close. Never mind. Sit down. sit down get my food

get my burger in my hand I look at it and go I'm going to be sick and I'm like nah take a bite of it I'm going to be sick put it down

get my bags run to the toilet both ends and I'm like oh no in the airport in the airport it was being

so I sit there for 20 minutes and I'm like okay I feel alright feel fine so I go to my flight I'm waiting in the like waiting area I need to go to the toilet again

I've not told you this so I go into the toilet and there's a queue because there's one cubicle the other is one of those squatty things oh no you didn't so I have to go in the squatty thing because I think I'm going to I'm going to get myself

I'm sorry I'm sorry you went into a hole in the ground when you had food poisoning yeah yeah so I've got take my trousers off around one leg

and I'm like holding my trousers up I'm squatting down it's not good and then I'm like there's no toilet roll oh there's only this squirty thing

so I'm like excuse me anyone got any toilet roll next door oh so get some toilet roll saw myself out but feel fine again so I'm like

this is really weird as I'm getting on the flight I start to get the shakes and I start to feel like I'm going to faint and I was like this is not good so I get on the flight I'm sat next to a couple I'm at the window and I put my hood up

and I'm trying to sleep I'm like I'm going to be sick going to be sick I'm sick as soon as the flight takes off and we're in the air I don't even let them get out of their seats I jump over them like like a fucking deer and I ran to the toilet and then I'm sat in the toilet being like I've got seven hours of this

I've got seven hours of feeling like absolute garbage I don't know when it's coming but it's coming so I go to the air host desk I'm like I sat on 72A I cried on her I went here's my credit card whatever it costs I need to be in business I need to lie down she's like why I was like I've got food poisoning so she was like right okay

25 minutes it took her to which time I'm spewing everywhere get a bed I'm fine the flight was horrific like the worst thing I've ever experienced I land I text the other two being like either of you will and they both go

yeah both ends really bad I'm like I've just done seven hours on a flight with it oh my god I text you and I knew you were flying and I'd not wish you a happy flight or whatever because it was too early in the morning in England

so I messaging it double ticked I was right she bought Wi-Fi and I was like shock you bought Wi-Fi and you're like Crossy I've got food poisoning I was like oh my heart slumped for you because I've been that I've had food poisoning on a plane

and it is the worst like food poisoning anyway is the worst on a plane I can't imagine there's many worse places no you really get to see the inside of a toilet. Yeah. You get all the smells and everything, don't you? Yeah.

So it cost me £1,400 to sit in the toilet for the whole fight. $1,400 to have food poisoning. Turns out it wasn't food poisoning. We picked up a bug. So I get home and I've got a taxi booked. And he rings saying, let me know when you got your bags, I'll be 20 minutes. I think I can't, I haven't got 20 minutes.

So I ring Harry, I'm like, you're going to have to come and pick me up. And my last spew was in the airport, but I didn't have time to get in the toilet. Projectile out my nose everywhere, and someone went, are you okay? I was like, no, I'm really not well. Really not. To the point when you left my seat. Yeah, but I was in the bathroom, but didn't get it all in the toilet. Oh, God's sake.

Got to the point, crossy, where I rang Harry and went, I'm going to leave my suitcase. I need to go home. And he was like, just wait 10 more minutes. Then it came out, thank God. I waited an hour for my suitcase. It was the worst hour of my life. Oh, I can't even, I literally can't even imagine. I remember, I don't know if you had this moment.

I remember when I had it on the plane, and I looked out of the window, and I remember thinking, I am so far away from home right now. And obviously it wasn't home. I was going to Perth. I was flying from Melbourne to Perth. I was like, I'm so far away from being comfortable.

And I just cried. I just was like, I'm so far away. But I was thinking, I've never had food poisoning before. I've had it twice in two months, I'm like, this is horrific. And then when the others were ill as well, I was like, okay, it's definitely not food poison, it's a bug. But for the last week, for the first four nights, I was up every half an hour. Jesus. I can't believe we've done 11 minutes of this episode, and nine minutes of it have been talking about you shitting.

I'm sicking. Honestly, Crossy, until yesterday, I've been not well. And I was like, I've got Crossy's parasite. I'm going to have to get in a sandwich bag. Oh, well, I'm so glad you're feeling better And you're over, well, you think you're over it I am over it, my poos are solid I'm still having like four or five a day, but they're solid

They're five, they're good, they're all right A Bristol Steedschart 5 is a great poo Yeah The only good thing about it is you feel mega When you start feeling better Yeah And you've had your hair done I have, I've had my hair done, I went and got it done today

why does it always take so long? You needed some work done on that hair. Yeah. Really good, really like it. But when it's down like this, I look like Drake on Malfoy's dad. Let me take a picture. You really do, you need to keep it behind your ears.

I was like, yeah, I really like it. But why is there always something wrong with it? And they're like, do you want it cut? I was like, absolutely not. We're growing it. Yeah, it's a good length now. Well, you said you hated it when we lasted an episode, so I'm glad you don't hate yourself as much anymore.

Lighter and blonder, perfect. Perfect. Yes, I'm off to Dubai. I've got fresh locks. I'm feeling myself. I'm going to put my bikini on and feel sexy for the first time in a year. Love it. Look at that smile.

She's back. But what a time to be alive. It's been a god-awful week. Poor Harry. Really. I remember it. He put a picture up of your. you're home and you're just like a fetus on the sofa, like wrapped up in a blanket up to your

neck. Yeah. He was probably thinking, get in Alex's home. It's been seven weeks, been a bit longer. I was like, do not come anywhere near me. I'm not, after hearing this story, I'm not sure anyone's going to come near you for a little bit. Oh, good, good. Jeez. He's not good. Anyway, you were through the worst of it, well done. Yeah, I don't have your parasite, thank goodness. Thank God. Have you got anything on your sticky note? Yeah, I have.

Of you? Got a few things, yeah. Got a few things written down. Not much, actually. Go on then. First one, I don't know if you saw this. You know, we love going upstairs with umpires. Yep.

Did you spot that Kumar Darmesana has brought out a perfume? Yeah, I did. And I just thought, why not? I've always wondered what umpires smell like. Well, do you think it smells like he smells? Or do you think it's a smell he likes? Or do you think it's... I don't know.

I really want to smell it. Do you think that Alex Worf's going to wear his after shave? Maybe they do. Maybe it's going to become a ritual. Maybe we should get some. So that when we podcast, we can smell like Kumar Damasana. We should, shouldn't we? Because I think we'd feel a thousand times better with a bit of umpire on us.

We would. We absolutely. I just, I can't imagine that an after-shaver or a perfume is the first thing that an umpire thinks to do. Cross-yat, like if you brought out a perfume, I'd be like, are you okay? Yeah, what's going on? Yeah. Kuma Damasena, are you okay?

Yeah. My sticking out, only a couple of things on it. I'm off to yours tonight. You're not even there. Yeah, you are. Yeah, he texts me saying you're going to mine for dinner. I was like, all right, have fun. Yeah, it's going to be weird going back to my old house as well

and not living there and you're not being there, but shouldn't have given my key back because I really could have just spent the afternoon there today because I was in your area. Yeah, you could have done. It's funny, my flat has become a little bit like Thunder's Revolving Door. So, Fee's living in it at the minute while I'm gone. Everyone's been in there.

That's had a bit of a spell in it. Tara's had a spell in it. So yeah, it's Thunder's Ru. I might start speaking to the club about this, getting a bit of rent off of them. He probably should. Should do. Do you know what you're having for dinner?

Steak. Oh nice. Didn't want to tell Fee this because she's an unbelievable cup, but since my bout of fake parasite, I've not wanted meat. Yeah, you can't go out, you can't go to mine for steak and not eat the state really, can you? No, so I'm going to have to just chew it and get it down. I've got some porridge. You know where the porridge is?

Yeah, I'll help myself. I hope you've still got some of that lime cordial, that lemon cordial. God, I don't even know anymore, mate. Don't know what's going on in that house. Speaking of Thunder, new head coach. New coach, baby. Chris Reed. Congratulations, Chris Reed.

You probably don't listen to this podcast, but I'm super excited what you do with the girls. I think, and I need to check this with Chris. So I remember going watching England play in the West Indies in, like, 2005. I was only younger. I was like 13, 14. and I loved the fact that like when we went out for dinner the England men's team were like out and about

they were like with the families and stuff I got photos with everyone as proper fan girl and I'm convinced I'm pretty sure it's Chris we saw him in Antigua and we went and had a chat with him and my dad was like this is Kate she plays cricket blah blah blah and then as we left him alone for the evening because we didn't want to be those people but we were those people my dad said best of luck for the test tomorrow Chris

they were playing and then he didn't play and it was his last game for England I'm pretty sure and we wished him good luck and he didn't play oh no I know so I think I'm sure it's him

I'm convinced it's him but I need to double check it with him but anyway yeah good appointment feel like he's got a very good CV don't know much about him can't lie Louis said he's a very good innovative done well with Knott's kind of vibe

he's real into his like fitness and not drinking and things okay nice so that's why you've retired you forsoor it I did I did but the Thundergirl said it's been great it's been so much fun very relaxed gutted Pazza didn't get the job obviously for him but so exciting to get someone new in yeah I think fresh eyes always kind of

give a group a lot of excitement don't they because you get new like the new vision comes in and loved working with Paz and I'm the same I'm gutted he didn't get it but I just think even like having a name like Chris Reed goes to show how far the women's game has come like no ex-England men's players generally were coaching women's domestic cricket

Do you reckon he's thinking should have applied for the men's job? I think that happened you know I think a few people might have gone for the women's job then the men's became available and they dropped out and went for the men's job. Yeah, probably. Other thing on my...

Have you got anything else in yours? Yeah, but you go. I've just got ridden down a snake on a golf course you stood on one you stood on a snake stood on a snake so played golf day two of arriving day one we did a bit cricket day two play golf and um

I obviously end up in the rough so I'm just like flicking my club around and Gareth Breeze who I was playing with and Matt Mason also playing with were like oh there's no snakes I was like surely no snakes here and no man and then Breezy was literally like oh there's one and I thought he was just like joking, a mace bolted, like, I've never seen him move so fast, because obviously snakes

can kill you in Australia. It was a small one, but I was basically trod on it. Yeah, and then you tried to, like, show everyone by wafting your golf club over it, it's slithered away. Yeah, well, you've got a, you wouldn't have believed me, so I've got proof. You have got proof, and you've got to play the ball where it lies, so. Yeah, exactly, so I didn't hit a snake, before anyone would shout out so I didn't hit a snake so yeah that was that was that I became your PA today um I booked your hair appointment for you for when you're home

yeah you did thank you thank you so much I take you saying how are you like bit grumpy I was like oh well I'm in the hairdressers John a book a hair appointment and then you didn't reply and I was talking to Gaz the hairdresser it is Gaz by the way I'd double triple checked we thought it was GAV then I thought it was Gareth but Gaz um and he was like god I'm busy for Christmas I went

well crossy needs a hair doing i said have you got many appointments left he was like no not really so i text you're like he's busy do you want booking and you're like on the 19th he went i've got one appointment left on the 19th i was like it's crossies and he was like i'm not sin afraid just i'm looking forward to catching up oh he's so nice isn't he what a gloom every time i go in i'm like i don't care what you do i just want my grey's gone and he's like you don't have any i was like i've got so many so many i i said she'll need a grey's touching up and then you said my grey's need touching up and I was like see he knows he knows

I'll tell him I want to look like Draco Malfoy's mum matching other thing I've got written down is it's my last thing actually it just says Coldplay man yeah surreal really

my friends absolutely lost their because they were like you you both I've had a message from the Coldplay Man. The Coldplay Man has sent us a personalised video and it's just, he just landed somewhere, haven't he? He was a bit jet-lacked, but Coldplay Man, we've got proof, listens to this podcast. I'm just going to set the record straight, just so he knows.

Coldplay Man, this is for you. Don't give a shit. But I secretly do, I'm properly freaking out inside. Is it your mate that said that she don't give a shit that Coldplay listen to this podcast? Yeah My friends can't believe it And Sue Barker And Brian Lara

And it wasn't Sue Barker It was Claire Boulding Oh I always get them too mixed up Clare Boulding listens to the pod as well Shout out to Claire Shout out to Colplay man Shout out to any other famous people

That listened to this podcast Honestly what it was all yellow that day And And shout out to all our regular non-famous people because you're the ones that actually keep us afloat, so thank you. Yeah, I was going to say, Coldplay Man's not paying our wage. No, he's not.

But we could try and get him out. If you're listening, Cold Play Man, please come on. Come on this podcast. He could afford to pay our wage, to be fair. I'd love a pay, right? Could do, couldn't he? Would you rather, call Play Man comes on the podcast or we get to go and see his concert again for free?

Come on the podcast. Got to be on it, we've seen him live now. Yeah, it's a bit boring, isn't it? Oh he does is to get some bands lit up in a stadium Old news that He runs around though He wears his hawkers well Does he wear hawkers?

Yeah, he has to do well Because he does about 10K in the night No, he doesn't get gigs in his hawks He does, he runs around in his hawkers I'm telling you That is such an ache Also I'm going to put a test in here Little test there that we're testing

if Coldplayman listened. John Lewis just told me because I was at dinner I said I got to go do the pod. He was like, you know, I listen to all your episodes. I was like, no, you don't. He's like, we'll put a test in. So I'm going to test it. John Lewis, if you're listening,

I want you to say the word purple to me at training. Excellent. And I want you to send me a voice not saying I did listen to the podcast. Right. Yeah, Louis. I'm all over you, mate. Have you got anything else?

No, that's it. So we were going to bang out the Ager's episode but we've waffled on for 20 minutes so should we just do some questions? Do you know what cracks me up? Every time we threaten to put this episode out with Jonathan Agnew it never happens and now people think that we're joking and it never happened.

No, it's like Joe Root. It just never happens. Yeah, it doesn't happen but Aggars did and we will put it out eventually but there's no justice for Agers today because we're going to go into our inbox. We are. Who should we go upstairs?

I think I know your answer. Stupid question. Stupid question. Kuma, darn see ya. Come on, mate. Thought so. Hi, I'm Robborough and I've got some exciting news. I'm hosting my own podcast.

The first of it's kind presented by someone who speaks using an ag gaze machine. It's a chance for me to showcase my personality and have some fun. The podcast is called 7, because that's the number. number I wore on my Leeds Rhinoshell. Rub Barrow's got the base. He'll dive underneath the post. I'll interview seven sporting legends and ask them seven questions and I'm delighted

to announce we've got some really big sport stars involved like the incredible footballer and manager Wayne Rooney. It's going to be great so make sure you subscribe to my podcast series seven available on the total sport podcast on BBC Sans. Um, Crossy, do you have a handicap in golf yet? If so, what is it?

No, but Lauren Bell hit 67 over par today playing golf, so I guarantee her handicap will not be coming down anytime soon. But no, I don't. I've not had my cards marked, so I need to get that done when I get home, because apparently you can only do it on English courses, so it's on my to-do list. Okay. somebody said Maxi did the impossible again when's the next Maxi podcast

we literally just put one out congratulations Australia yeah and well mostly to Glenn because he said his hundreds don't mean anything unless they won and they've won now so they mean something yeah that's such a cute thing wasn't it

how does Hartley feel about her pictures not selling out when Kate sold all her ramp shots a bit gutted about that actually Bad photo, though, wasn't it? We should have done a better photo for you. Yeah, bad photo, anyway, moving on. All right. Who would you have in a GB Olympic cricket team and why?

As in, like, just a random Chris Tremlet or? No, Chris Tremlet's your Desert Island guy. You can't have him in your cricket team. Yeah, we probably need a few more specifics for that, don't we? Sue Barker or Claire Bolden? Yeah, good. get them in, get them both in, get Coldplayman in. Yeah.

Michael McIntyre, he was good fun, wasn't he? He was good fun. Not very good at cricket, though. We don't know if that was meant to be like, do we need to name the Bryce sisters because they're good at cricket and play for Scotland? Oh, I see. Yeah, I don't think we've answered that very well.

Sorry, Gordon. Crossie, random. But what do you think will be your highlight of 24? Oh, wow. What we're doing in 24? We've got a T20 World Cup, so it won't be that for me. Got a series against New Zealand. Got another game at Lords.

Do you know what I really hope it is? I mean this. I really hope Thunder pick some silverware up, and I hope I get to be a small part of that because I really feel like the team deserve it. So I think that would be my biggest highlight of the year if that came out of it. Yeah, okay.

Mine could be the Maltan sultans. Could be. It could be, you might play in the 100. You've not written that off completely yet, have you? Yeah. Oh, did you? We were we not talking about that the other day? I retired.

Oh, right, I thought you were joking, though, and said you might play in the 100. Were you joking? Definitely not. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to play in the 100. Okay. Well, what about? you could, if England make it through to the T20 World Cup final,

you could be calling that game. You could call the winning moment. Oh my God. Yeah, that would be class. What is the biggest argument you two have had that you can tell us about? We've only ever fallen out once, haven't we? Yeah.

And I wasn't a very good friend. I was very selfish. I put my needs first you put a boy before us but more importantly I wouldn't have been bothered about that but you had my car and that is where the argument came because you you borrowed my car

and gallivanted and I didn't need the car actually I was being quite stubborn but you were like I need to go to Tesco and then so I drove all the way home two hours home and you were were asleep on the sofa so i woke you up and said come on then let's go tesco you must have been yeah i was like i don't i don't want or need to go to tesco but i'd like to have the choice

of going to tesco but you've got my car and you're not here so we had a silent we had a silent trip to tesco and then the next day you sat in your room i remember you i remember you sat in your room and just didn't say anything i was like she never does that i was like i'm not i'm not bending her she's in the wrong i'm not bending and then the next day i cried on you it was like I'm mentally unwell, you're like, yeah, I know. I was like, yeah, I'm really worried about you. Are we falling out about anything else? No.

The only fallouts that we really have, and they're not real fallouts, is genuinely when one of us is unstable, and we just get really emotional, don't we? And we're just like, you're not a good friend. And you're like, you're not a good friend. I'm like, well, we're actually really good friends. I get. Do you remember last year? Was it all the year before I came to Brighton?

and cried on you because I wasn't getting enough attention off you but you were really unwell Yeah, we were just both crying on each other We were like, I'm so sorry And you're like, I'm so sorry So we don't really argue, do we? We're good like that

We're not even bitter really No, we're best mates We don't argue because we've got different taste in men That's always the good sign of friendships, isn't it? Exactly Yeah What do you both want for Christmas? Oh, good God

golf balls golf balls are well expensive man I pay 60 quid for some the other day and I lost 15 of them okay I'll get you some golf balls um what do you watch Christmas it's really annoying me actually because every time I cook at home my frying pan's bent

why is it bent honestly people have been living in my house and things happen don't they my dishwasher's broke my frying pan's bent so I'd really like a fixed dishwasher door and a new straight frying pan. Tell me you're an adult without telling me you're an adult. That is dire.

I should probably say that, you know, like health and happiness, but I'm not bothered about that. No. When do you start your new coaching role and are you excited, Al? Yeah, I'm really excited. There's one here saying if you started doing any prep yet. Really excited. The PSL starts in February, so I'll go out there then. I do think I should probably go to Thunder training

and practice my mitt in Oh gosh, get a mitt for Christmas That's what you need Yeah, I need a mitt I'm going to buy you a mitt That's what I'm going to get you for Christmas I've decided It's got to be a right-handed one though

Yeah, I'm not daft I'm not you I'm not you buying me and mitt Getting me the wrong one I'd probably buy you a left-handed cricket bat You would Yeah, you would Or a boy's cricket bat

Great Great Great Oh, this is a nice one. This is from Man Like JC. With so much going on with your lives these days, in your lives these days, how are you both doing? Good, thank you. Very, very good. Hectic, but good.

Yeah, I think I've noticed more recently just how our schedules read. We've said it a while now, but they're just not aligning very well, are they? Not good. After today, I've realised we really need to ring each other more. Yeah, I think you're right. I think we rely on the podcast to catch up, but we should be catching up anyway, because we used to do a lot together.

Yeah, like we text every day. Like, and when you've not texted me, and I wake up and it's like 11, and I'm like, hello, and you're like, sorry, I'm like, it's okay. I know, well, I've been so busy at work, Al, because I'm on this, like, mad training camp at the minute, and we're really busy. No, I actually apologise to you the other day, didn't I?

Because I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm getting up, I'm rushing my breakfast, and then we're going training, and then it's like 4pm here, and I've not even said hello, and you wake up and you're like, hi! You don't need to apologise for not texting me, it's fine. But I'm going to make a pact now that we ring each other more often. Right, in, handshake. I'll ring you next week for the pod. This is a good one.

What's the expectation from the India series? Oh, yeah. I'll do mine first because, obviously, an outsider's view, I've got no idea what to expect, like, genuinely. Good one. Like, you think about the series you've played against them last year, they hammered you in the ODIs or the T20s, whichever way around it was. But then you're a better team?

Yeah, we, oh no, they. beat us we beat them in a T20 series with a young team that was when we debuted Kempi and

Belly and um Lam did Lammy debut then I can't remember but anyway we debuted some

young people and then we beat them in the T20s then they beat us in the ODIs with the famous Charlie Dean

Dity Sharma at Lords so and actually they didn't Hamier because they were going to

win that game but I actually there you had to man cad to feel like security. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think you're right though. I think it's always difficult to know what to expect when you go to India. But I think as a group, and obviously we've had a year with Louie now,

I feel like we're probably in the best place to go to India. I certainly play a test. I'm interested in the test match because four days in India, a lot of spin, notoriously not very good against spin, those stats that came out in the ashes, etc. So, yeah, it's going to, I think it's, do you think, I mean, do you think the T-20s are going to set the test match up? Or, like, can you even gain anything from the T-20s? I don't know. No, not for the test match.

For me, I'll be interested to see how you bounce back after losing the Sri Lanka series. Yeah, but we bounce back with the ODI win. Yeah, but do you know what? At the T-20 side. Right, I'm with you. Yeah. But I think, you know, it's a young team, it's an exciting team. the test match for me is where it's all that.

Shall we do one more, two more? Yeah, go on, you go, because I've got rid of all mine. Have you been keeping up with the WBBL and who do you think will win it? Not going to be the renegades or the stars, they've not been very good. The Brisbane Heat are going to win for me. It feels like it's going to be the Brisbane Heat playing Perth in the final maybe? No, they're playing each other tomorrow. Yeah, it's not going to be them

Right, okay I'm going to say Whoever wins that game wins it Okay, nice Because I don't know which other teams are in it Yeah, I'll give you my reason Why are you going to win Laura Harris is back

And she got 10 off two balls today She's been injured hasn't she She's had a poorly cough I text the Welsh group fire chat Because I'm still in that I'm not being booted out of that one Saying have a look Laris First ball six

Second ball four Yeah, nice Yeah, that's what she does though It is what she does It's hard to know I would like to think we'll do another podcast before this But we have got the WPL auction coming up It's on the 9th of December

Yeah I think we'll probably sneak another episode of this in Either before the T20 I don't know We don't know We are going to ring each other more though That's all I do know We'll probably forget about the podcast

Because we'll do a weekly catch up Yeah We'll be catching up without the recording But if you want to get in touch with us, you can email us on. No ballspodcast at BBC.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com. It's so good. They've said it twice. Honestly, just slide into our DMs. Yeah, we've put it out there today.

But also, remember, if you want to buy your loved one a Christmas present this year, Kumar Damascina has got a perfume out. Go buy it. Bye. Bye. wicked. Boulder! Leaving a ball alone, Litchfield.

I think it's the wobble ball and it just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross. An absolute seed. That is a beauty for cross. My name's Joe Wilkinson

and I'm doing a podcast because I love football. Boy, I love more. idea of being friends with a professional footballer. The football I'd like to be friends with is Patrick Banford. Hello Patrick. Will you be my friend? That's yet to be decided.

Okay, not what I was hoping. My Mates of Footballer is a new BBC Sounds podcast with me, Patrick Bancford and Joe Wilkinson. Some days he'll hate it, other days he won't, and eventually he will fall in love of me. Search for My Mates of Football on BBC Sounds.