Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - New cars, England's men in India and a boost for Hundred salaries

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley look at the big cricketing issues of the week (at least some of the time). There's India chat, Hundred money discussions and Alex has a new car.

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. The Dakar Rally is the ultimate off-road challenge. Perfect for the ultimate defender. The high-performance Defender Octa, 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine and intelligent 6D dynamics air suspension. Learn more at landrover.ca. Hello? Claude, it's Ed Gamble.

Hi. Quick one. I've had an idea. I want to do an official. Traitors podcast for the new series. Go on. Well, we've got these amazing reactions of the banished players when they find out who the traitors actually are.

Yes, yes. Goal. Plus, I can actually get them on the pod for their first post-show interview. Ask them all about their experience in the castle, who ate the most quassons at the breakfast, all of that sort of stuff. This is genius. I'm so sorry, but I've got a shepherd's pie

burning in the oven. I've got to go. Keep me updated. Oh, okay. Bye, Claude. The Traitors Uncloat. The official companion podcast with me, Ed Gamble.

Listen on BBC Sound. BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, podcasts. Hi, everyone. The BBC have told us that we've got to issue a warning. We swear too much. Henry does beep it out for us because he's a good man. It is actually so that your family can all listen. Your kids can listen. But we will say...

Sugar. That's not a real word. bad one. Cross comes in round the wicket. Boulder, Boulder, leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. I think it's the wobble ball, and it just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beautiful from cross.

Yo, thought I'd mix it up. Welcome back to No Balls, Grigit Podcast. I don't like it. Hello, welcome back to No Bulls, The Great Podcast, with me, Alex Hartley, and you Kate Cross. That was, that was awful. It's just bad that, wasn't it? I was going to rap, and then I panicked, so I didn't rap. Go on, do it's a little rap.

Get us going. Yo, it's the Hyperman set. A.J. Tracy, live and direct. You can't do much. Sat with Kate Cross and Alex Hartley. You can't do one. already exist. Yo, it's the female set.

They're ready to podcast Wicked One Too. Anyway. Oh my God. I'm just going to put that out there as possibly the worst introduction we've ever done. Oh, and you can think of a better wrap on the top of your head? No, but I wouldn't even try and wrap off the top of my head. That is the difference between me and you. Yeah, fair enough.

Fair enough. How are you? I mean, you even said it's me and you that everyone knows it's me, Kate Cross Alex It's me Alex partly with Kate Cross

Feels like it's going to be one of those episodes Well, I've not spoke to a human all day So this is great I'm, you ask me if I'm well I'm good, thank you Elle We're on a Sunday It's an evening You've just got out of bed

Got back in bed to do the pod We're back We've been binged out of this studio and we're back in our bed. You've been. It's a good. Last of the one week you talked about pigs and stray cows

and now we're back on FaceTime. Back to the original. How are you? I'm good. I'm really good. I'm tired and I don't really know why because I haven't done anything. I woke up at 10 o'clock.

I fell asleep at 2 o'clock. We woke up 5 o'clock. The weather, Al, told you. It is, it is. And I'm really, really, really. really craving Anandos, right? As in like, I can taste it like so much. I can see it out my window. That's how close I live to Nandoz. But we've got gusto, so I have to make a chicken pie. How have you still got a gusto on a Sunday? What are you doing? Because I was away Friday

Saturday. Oh, error. Error. Yeah. Harry should have just had it Friday. I did tell him. But you're on no takeaway. You can't. You can't get Hernandez anyway. I know. Well, we'd have to go to it. oh okay yeah because we went out for lunch and i bought you a lunch and you're like oh thank god because that means i've not broken my nearest resolution of no takeaway january or whatever it was yeah but but you can go out for lunch surely yeah and then since you said that i don't think i've had a lunch at home just going out really late in the afternoon and calling it lunch going out at five o'clock for lunch i get it you're cooking more though you're going to gym you're doing your Gusto, you nailing it.

Oh, I had a really good week, not last week with the gym the week before I went three or four times. Last week I went once and then it snowed and I thought, you know what, I ain't leaving the house. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving, so I didn't. But we had quite a nice week together. Well, we also said that this is the beauty of being retired now. You don't have the gilts. It's only you versus you now.

It's not like I've got to get ready for fitness testing or cricket season. You just go to the gym if you want to go to the gym I go to the gym so that I can have that chocolate pudding and ice cream tonight Exactly You would do that anyway

So Exactly Exactly I think I'm getting a cold I feel a bit like that Yeah Is it sad Is it actually

Because it's been It was not in as 8 Yeah that wasn't cool It was It was really very very cool But it wasn't cool I hate it when you've got a de-frosty car. Hate it.

I know. And you've got a little granny car at the minute. No, it's gone back. Oh, has it? It's gone. I'm back in the cinchmobile. Oh, perfect. How's your week been?

We've been, what have I been doing? We were saying, are we, are we being regular? No, we recorded on Friday last time, didn't we? We had to make it, Henry told us the only rule to do last week's episode was make it timeless. Don't make it obvious that we recorded on the Friday. we spoke about every day of the week we were like this is Friday we're talking about the girls

going out to Mumbai on the Sunday so we're really sorry Henry we failed miserably at that hard what if I don't went back to Loughborough we had our medical fitnessy camp you know the first one back you get you MOT'd basically

I wish it was like a little spa weekend but it's just not they test your every single muscle to max capacity Yeah, and then you can't walk because you've done so many like calf raises you wake up in the night with calf cramp. Yeah, well you go to you get cramped, don't you? And then I woke up yesterday morning, got out of bed

and I couldn't straighten my legs because my calves were so cramped. I was walking like Dobby does in Harry Potter, like just creeping around my house. So I ruled out any sort of exercise yesterday because the doms were too much. Perfect. It was nice to be back at Loughborough.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm not senior. for ages, but I saw you're Wednesday, Tuesday. I feel like we spent a bit of time together this week. I know, but I think it's because I've done four consecutive days without you having seen you almost every day. I know.

It's going to be, we're going to have to go back to the long-distance relationship soon. No, I'm not ready. Not ready. It's still got a while. Still got a few weeks. Yeah, okay. And you're at Loughbem, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? Yes.

So I'll see you Thursday. Yes, I have. I'm raised to see you on Thursday. How's your week been? What are you been not to? I don't know. Wait, is this not where we do trough and peak of the week? So as you go through this stuff?

Yes. Okay, you go. It's trough and... Peak of the week. Yay. Should we start with? I would like to know your peak of the week. Okay, my peak of the week is a late entry actually.

Came today. Yeah, so my godson, who is called Lincoln, he's only six. He's from Australia. he and his dad are over here on holiday and for his Christmas present he's a big Liverpool fan I bought him the Amfield tour and we went over to Liverpool today

and did the Anfield tour and it was actually really enjoyable was it you'd liked it I liked it I'm not a big football fan obviously I like elite environments and they've got very elite environment it was cool I would like to know

the best thing you learnt at Anfield today I learnt why it's called the cop I never knew why it's called the cop I didn't know it was called the cop So the home end The famous home end of the cop Yeah

It's named after a hill in South Africa where a battle took place years and years ago And the Lancashire Fuseliers went over and fought in it And a lot of the people from the Lancashire Fusiliers were Lancashire fans Lancash fans Liverpool fans

So to like honour the people that died in this battle they named it after the hill that they fought on in South Africa because it was originally like a big mound of mud and grass the home end. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right, okay. They called it the cop. So then it'd be called it the cop, yeah.

The cop of spies or something, the spies of cop, something like that. Obviously, didn't listen in that much detail, but people can just Google that. And the most boring thing about the Anfield tour. Just give all this is a real, like, you know, taste of it. The thing that I learned that I think is rubbish that the guy was having me on for, so he said to they went

to they have some walks yeah they've got these two hawks that they hire before every game there are no birds on the pitch no he told me that well he told the group that in the away dressery he's like they give them nothing

they've got the basics but they don't give them any food they give them a bit of water and that's it and I was like I'm not sure I believe that in the Premier League I'm not sure I'm having it so yeah there was a peak of the week what about your peak of the week I don't want to be showing off with mine

but I'm really proud of myself I've got and bought a new car you have been not to bought any car what car have you bought I've got a jeep wrangler and it's actually massive sick and I'm going to look so cool in it so I'm not a big car person and I don't think you're a big car person

no I'm not but this is like my dream car Well it was your dream car for like four weeks when you decided you were going to get one So this is going to be one of those things Like remember when you told me you were skint And then went out and bought a brand new TV And then you told me the other day that you were skint And then you've gone out and bought a Jeep Wrangler

You can't tell me your skim well you can tell me your skint now Because you have bought a jeet wrangler But yeah Well that's cool Al I know we're excited So the only problem is it's white But I'm going to keep it white

And then I'm thinking of like getting it wrapped like matte black yeah so you sent me a picture of it and i was like like the car i'm not sure on the white it just doesn't quite look as cool on that type of car i don't think so can you not to get it painted yeah so i can get painted or wraps but if i wrap it when i come to sell it i could sell it in two colors and go it could be white or black oh you just take it off just take it off yeah so i'm going to recolor it but i'm going to drive it white for a little bit like test the waters see if I like it. Yep.

But we're like that. I'm picking it up tomorrow. By the time this podcast goes out, I'll have my G. No, I'll have my Jeep wrangler. I don't have a G-Wagon. You're at your T-Wagon. We're not there yet. No, you give that 10, 15 years.

Big peak, that are. Big peak. I know. Proper adult peak. I know. So, life crisis peak. Yeah. I can't believe I've spent all that money on a car.

It was like, so do you're paying an installment? So I was like, just take my credit card. just do it just do it your credit card as if your credit card have allowed you to pay that amount of money on that no I did I did my debit card oh

uh trough of the week crossy uh what was my trough of the week I've not really it's just been one of those January weeks it's been a bit of a meth week anyway yeah but I'm going to say

this whatever this is going on outside right now this storm isha that's happening Same, it's so windy Isha Isha Goua What are you doing Do you want me to show you how windy it is So I live in the windiest place in the world anyway

I live in the windiest Of wind tunnels In wind town right Sorry she's just getting out of bed while she does this Oh my God it's so windy I can't open the door blowing back Oh gosh she's nearly just falling out

Can you hear that Not even out the door Oh yeah it's like doing that That's how windy it is is. It's horrible. Your hair's blowing and everything. Oh, you can.

This is why we don't do stunts on the podcast, Alex. It is, isn't it? Can you hear that? Yeah. It's so bad. There we go. But yeah, grim. I hate it when...

Well, I've just mind about it being cold. I've mind about it being windy. I just wanted to be summer again. I'm ready for summer. That might have been a really bad bit of podcasting, but... Probably. Not as bad as us, like, pretending that, well, seeing that the thumbs up came up on the screen and not talking for three minutes.

That's very true. I think my trough's exactly that. It's windy. I've not wanted to leave the house today. It's cold. It's just winter. Grim, grim times. Shall we see what's on our sticky notes then?

Yeah, because I could trough a little bit of what's on your sticky notes, so. Okay, go on. Well, I've only got one thing on my sticky note, and it's the fact that we went to see my mum and dad. on Tuesday. Yes, because I've not seen their new house. They moved to a new house. A bit closer to where I live now,

so it's much more beneficial for me. Yeah. So we went over and I'd say this is my trough of the week. This is definitely my trough of the week. We went over to Mom and Dad's and Dad was making you a brew and I just did a little trump, but it was a lot louder than I thought it was going to be. And my dad said,

how delicate is my little flower Alex? yeah I was in the first of three minutes of us being there as well yeah but do you know what sorry to completely it's not changing the subject completely but that's just reminding me of something that you did a couple of weeks ago which believe our mind so you don't drink tea so your dad made me a cup of tea and himself a cup of tea and when hen came to visit me before Christmas you came over as well and I made us well a cup and hen asked me to leave the tea bag in the cut and I did

and I put the milk in and I brought it and you were like oh you didn't leave the tea bag in so I said I did it isn't there and you were like

but it's not got a string hanging out and you thought that all tea bags have the string on them yeah because I thought every time you leave a

tea bag in it's always got that string hanging out hasn't it but then we've got tea bags in our house

that don't have the string but they're the ones you take out yeah but you know the string isn't

to leave in necessarily it's just like when you're in hotel rooms and stuff it's yeah and you don't have spoons but you've always because you don't make tea you always see the ones in hotel rooms and it really cracked me up with strings yeah i was like wow they don't want strings god say so you can get you can get ones with string and ones without string yeah no it's silly sorry that just took me about that but anyway yeah so we're up your mum and dad's and your dad says that i just did a big fart and it was quite a big one i didn't hear it actually but and the other thing that blew well i about your mum and dad's house. Your dad has got a toilet that is the most advanced toilet I think I've ever seen in my life. It's a Japanese toilet. It's a Japanese toilet. It's got like

a foot sensor so that the seat comes up. You don't have to touch it basically. That's the point of the toilet, isn't it? And it has a remote control. And I was so intrigued by this toilet. I was like, I'm going to have to try it. So we both had a little go on it, didn't we? But it does everything that you could want it to do or more it's got a hair dryer in for your bits hair dryer washer it's got a shower so it squirts you with water which I thought I was pressing the massage button

and the water came out and I was like it's so clever it's so unnecessary but so brilliant at the same time I loved it it was like Kate what temperature would you like you to say so it's like you know when you go obviously men well men could experience this way it's more likely for women but when you go and

use public toilets and there's cues and you sit on the toilet and it's been warm from the person that's been sat on it before that's what the toilet felt like because it's got a temper it's like a heated seat yeah to me that's not nice toilet seats should be cold yeah yeah anyway what an experience but lovely to see mum and dad not seeing them for it they well your mum asked me how the parasite is that's how long it's been she was like oh yeah she said are you not seeing you and it should look like a wax work. Cheers, Phil. Cheers, ma'am.

I've got a fair bit of my sticking out, actually, Al, because the 100 salaries come out this week. Yes. Yes, and you tweeted, saying, you're contemplating your retirement announcement now, and it blew my mind that you thought you'd be on the top racket. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't. Everyone's had a pair ice, though.

Yeah, but the bottom bracket's only gone up 500 quid. that's a bit poor actually yeah well I actually wanted to talk to you about that I wanted to talk to you about your views on it but anyway I was going to grill you on Twitter and I just didn't have it in me this week I thought it's down you don't need that yeah it made me laugh

because all I saw was 50 grand 40 grand 30 grand that I was like wow god why have I retired and then you were like what much thing you're going to get picked up and I was like yeah I'd be on the bottom anyway wouldn't I I'd be still learning less than I was the year before

So 50 grand is obviously unbelievable 50 grand to play women's domestic cricket in the UK mad So good Significantly more than the men's bottom paid player as well now I think Yeah about time It might not be even be significantly more actually What does the lowest paid men get? 35 I think

Okay So yeah Okay pretty good my thing on it and I think it's great so before anyone comes out with negative years I think it's great I just feel like we keep putting money into the pockets of the players that keep getting money put into their pockets yep yeah I totally agree totally agree

so I saw that the bottom one was 8,000 pounds still and I was like surely surely the top one could probably go up to like say 40 and you filter it down and then it means that the bottom people and the girls that are having to take time off work and all sorts to play are earning a bit more money

yeah so the bottom one's gone from 7,500 to 8,000 like I said so it's only a 500 pound increase whereas the top bracket's gone from 32 and a half to 50 grand so it's all about headlines it's all about headlines it is and it is good and I'm sure I'm sure at some point there would have been an argument or a discussion somewhere around a table at the ECB

where they've said, we need to get the best players to come over. We need to lower people over with money, basically. But those top players were coming over anyway. Yeah. Yeah, I do think the bottom could have gone up more. And it but the headline is, how good is it now the women are getting paid this?

But it's actually only two people in per team that are getting paid that. It's just got to keep going. We keep saying that, don't it? It's got to keep going in the right direction. And it is. The men's has stayed still, they've capped the men's, but the women's do need to, like, $8,000 for the lowest paid player when the lowest paid men's players getting $30,000 or whatever it is.

Yeah. Big difference that. So hopefully if we can just keep these little wins, keep chipping away. Yeah, little baby wins. Chip, chip, chipping away. My other thing on the podcast, on the podcast sticky note is Sue Redfern. What about Sue? First ICC, I wrote this down so I couldn't get it wrong.

First ICC appointed female neutral umpire to stand in bilateral series. First ICC female, so she'll be doing like... Zimbabwe-Trolanker. Well, or yeah, or Australia and New Zealand or... Yeah. There we go. Sue Redfern is the first ICC appointed female neutral umpire for bilateral series. Seven female neutral umpires to officiate across the ICC women's championship series

with match day pay on par with umpires on the Emirates ICC elite panel of umpires. So why is she the first? I don't understand because it just said there's more females. There's seven of them. She's just first on the list. No, because it says this is a watershed moment for women's cricket as we look to both implement a female female match officials pathway program and accelerate officiating opportunities for our very best performers. So, yeah, she can go over and officiate in other games, I think. Well, congratulations, Sue. We don't really know what for.

We don't know what we're congratulating you for. But the headline's great, bit like the hundreds. Great work. It sounds good, doesn't it? It really does sound good. It does. It does. Congratulations, Sue.

Let me just triple check I'm still recording. I am good news. Perfect, because honestly, I'm not in the mood for you to not be recording today. No, it's not one of them, is it? last thing on my sticky notes seems like you've not participated in the sticky notes this week is someone messes us on instagram chris from insta look i copied it out so that i got it right perfect there were never wild pigs cows sheep in the uk they were all domesticated from wild in the middle east and brought us humans spread out any wild examples like highland cows were

domestic animals that returned to the wild shut up chris he sounds angry sounds angry does chris Shut up, Chris. Don't burst my bubble. So many people got in touch about that. Yeah, so strange what takes off on this podcast. But I don't quite think I understood what you were on about if I'm being completely honest with you. No, he didn't seem like you were, but someone actually tweeted being like, I love Alex's sense of humour, how she manages to keep a straight face

while trying to whine crossy up is hilarious. And I was like, ha ha, yeah, I'm so funny. Yeah, I'm sure. I was being serious We did get a lot of traction to that one I'm still not entirely sure what you're on about but everyone's telling you you've got to go to New Forest or somewhere because there's loads of wild sheep and stuff there

Yeah my mum replied to every Instagram comment saying she needs to go to the New Forest saying she has I've been Someone replied to one of my TikToks this week which is of me and you trying to dance just say you two need help Yeah fair Not yeah it's accurate

Do you want to go up to Yeah, I do want to go upstairs. And I want to take us upstairs with someone new because we saw her on the telly during, I think we've been upstairs with her before, but she's new been, it'll, new year. You can use your word, Al. Yeah.

She was umpiring in the I-L-T-20. Go on. In the SAT-T-20. Yep, okay, it's going well. Lauren Ivanberg, let's just go upstairs with her. The drama. They're having to be separated. They've both been shown the wrong.

Red card. The entertainment. The Superstars. Vodern! Oh, yes. What a goal. Welcome to the Planet Premier League podcast. I'm Mark Chapman, and every week,

Cess Fabricas, Nadia Minua and myself talk all things Premier League. They have this dynamism and this quality that they can play anywhere. They need to prove themselves in scoring more and more and more goals. I think if they don't win the title this year, the season is a failure in the league. Planet Premier League. Listen on BBC Sounds. Right, I'll start us off. This one, we might as well just get it out the way. Caught all the wild pigs and cows yet, question mark.

Crying face, crying and face, crying and face. Honestly, that had me laughing all say today. Thank you. Just love the idea of coming across a surprise, wild herd and tempting them into the garden domestication with biscuits. nice busy start to the new year's pods crossy and Alex you sound like summer already cheers anyway got away in are your guests for the year not sure if you've had them on but here goes for the top three amy jones number one yes um tim this is tim she she won't come on she doesn't like doing media i've asked her a thousand times she didn't like it she's not going

to do it and then what about your awesome support staff what about dr tam for the anonymised doctor's case book of treating comedy cricket injuries, silly cricketers, parasites and persistent poops. Oh my God, that would be so good. He could tell some good stories. He wouldn't come on though. I think he'd be too nervous. Yeah, I'd he.

I'd like his laugh, though. Yeah, he's got a great laugh. And then option number three, how about a captain from a more developing team like Afghan or Nigeria? It would be cool to hear your compared experiences of starting cricket pathways to prep him for a series. Anyway, all good. Love the pod.

So keep it up. Dial 3, 2024. Cheers, Tim from Gloucester. Perfect. Tim from Gloucester, you've set the BBC a task and that's to find us some guests. We've asked so many people and no one has replied. No. This one is... Maybe we're going to win the award for the least popular podcast. Yeah, the worst podcast. You can vote for us, by the way, on that still. Vote on that. Go on you do your email and then I'll find the next one go. This one is Dating App Troth and this is from George.

G. It's not just Kate who has dated up trough messages. I had a guy like a pick of mine and comment on it and it just said, I don't like you or fancy you. I just want to know where your trousers are from. Wow. Wow. The audacity. But I do like the honesty. I like it straight in. I'm not here for you. I'm here for your trousers. Savage. I think I'd prefer that honesty. Yeah. Yeah, rather than going, hi, how are you? Yeah, good. Do you want to go for a drink? No, but where do you get those cool trousers from? Yeah. But yeah, I don't hate it, but I do think that dating apps need to get in the bin. Yeah. So, back to the voting. We had an email title voting. Hi, you've been asking us to vote for you in a podcast awards recently. I'd like to draw your attention

to a community of potential voters that you may be missing. As I am autistic and suffer from social anxiety, I don't go anywhere near social media. So, long story short, when you tell us every week that you've posted details on Instagram and Twitter. I refuse to call, I refuse to use the idiotic name X. I don't have access to those. I've searched for details elsewhere without any success. So please mention details on the podcast or put them in the show notes. Perfect. It's sports podcast group or something it's purple. Sports podcast awards and search for best cricket show and our name should pop up there. But that should come up on Google, I think, when you search it. Yeah, but it, we're called No Balls, the Cricket Podcast.

We are. People just call us no balls, though, and that's not officially our name. No, TCP. One other thing, something that's been bugging me since you moved to the BBC. If you beep out un-BBC words so that my kids can listen, why do you still have to issue a warning at the start of every program, Thanks, W.A. Yeah, true. Not sure. I think it's just, um, it's just a thing, I guess, that the thing, I guess, that the BBC do.

Hi, Kate and Alex, Alex and Kate. I like it when people do this. This is from Toby. Toby, I already like you. Hope you both well. Just listen to the most recent episode and wanted to share a dating app dilemma with you and I need your advice.

Oh no, here we go. Ready. So ready. Here we go. I'm a player and cricket fan and living in the southwest of London. I visit the Oval a lot and have done for a few years. I often go for a few drinks with friends.

And being one of the only single ones, I'm regularly asked who on the team I'd be most interested in dating. If I'm honest, it's always the same person. And the other evening, I saw them on this dating app. Obviously, I then panicked a lot. On this dating app, when you got off the app, it doesn't always come back on the same person. So I had to reply pretty quickly. I then sent them a message, it wasn't great and didn't let on that I knew who they were. But I'm not sure she will reply.

I'm not sure what I should do next and the waiting is killing me. So it would be great if you have your thoughts on what I should do. Love the pod and looking forward to hearing you again soon. Go well, Toby. So is that someone at his club that he fancies? He knows this cricketer and they've come up on a dating app. Is this? Is this crossy?

Is this me? Is this crossy? No, because he was at the only. He likes the ovale. He's from London. You've not been down there. I've been down in London, loads. Oh, my God, isn't it? You? That's it me. Right. Well, my advice in this situation is that it doesn't really matter what you say in that comment box,

because I feel like they're just going to go on your profile and likes you or not like you depending on whether they fancy you. Yeah. You've done well not to let on that you know who they are because we have a rule number one after my. previous errors in life. Never date a fanboy. Yeah. Because I made that mistake. Yeah. If this isn't about me then this is a completely different situation and I would just say you're going to have to wait it out because if she doesn't respond or she might respond, she might not go on the apps. Sliding. Dms? Yeah, could maybe slide in on the old Instagram. If you know this girl then you probably got her on Instagram. Give her a little sliding. DMs open crossy i'll see if it's you i don't well i can i don't want to i don't

Toby's put his name out there now i can't just bring Toby into this situation gosh it well anyway maybe a young guy on strapping handsome fella could be could be not sure i'm ready to i don't want to date a cricketer no i don't wait to stay a cricketer this one is called what's the attraction of coffee bless you what is the attraction of coffee on social media. Hi ladies and Henry. Oh, Henry got a little high. I've got a cup for Henry, actually.

I've got a mug that someone sent him. I need to pass that on to him. I'm curious as to the prevalence of cups of coffee posted especially on Instagram by your teammates. Actually, not confined to the women since Stuart Broad is also fond of posting coffee, as he did just this morning. Admittedly, the cups often look very pretty,

nice creamy patterns, elegant cup and so on. I'm a coffee hound myself, so nothing against the but genuinely intrigued as to why coffee. I'd get it more if, say, protein shakes were posted or maybe a fresh fruit concoction, the drink of the professional athlete, and so on. I don't mind that odd meal posted. You too can be a pro athlete if you eat this.

Is there some sort of spottership deal with coffee makers going on? And that's from Tim in Florida. Honestly, honestly, there is nothing worse than golf content unless it's load of coffee content. I don't get it. I, but we do that all the time. You do it all the time. I don't anymore because this morning when I woke up,

I woke up after Harry and he came into the room and said, look at this picture of my coffee I made today. What? What are you doing with it? I'll tell you why I do it and when I do it. I do it when I've found a cool coffee shop because I always tag the coffee shop in it as like the location. Yeah.

And if the coffee art is good, it'll go on my Instagram story. and I think it's probably my way because I look at other people's and be like oh that's a good coffee shop I'll go there so I do it as like a recommendation thing people might not even look and bother obviously Tim and Florida isn't doing but I look at other people's and like

right when I'm in Nottingham Stuart Broad's put this one up I know that's a good coffee no Tim's got a list of 45 places in Easter go to now I know yeah these are all for you Tim I'm going to carry on doing it just for you because I know you love it so much and I'm going to put my next protein shake up there as well

Kay and Alex. This is from Matthew. Long-time listener, first-time emailer get in. The story about Feeb G losing her keys on your recent episode prompted me to email you. I have a terrible memory and used to constantly lose my keys. The way I solved this gets very mixed reactions. It's definitely an LBW, but some people think it's kind of genius. For others, it falls into the psychopath category. I'll let you decide. Rather than have one set of keys with all the keys on, need on the set. I keep all my keys separate. I keep all my keys separate and only carry the specific ones I need. My logic is that I will inevitably lose them but when I do I don't lose them all. I've only lost one key and not the entire set so my entire life doesn't fall apart and I only have

to replace one key rather than the entire set. I don't hate that but my argument would be like what if your plans just suddenly change and you're going to go to your mum dad's house and you don't have a key. That'd be my issue there. Yeah, me too. Me too. But what I think he probably needs is two sets of keys. Just go and get them all cut. Or an air tag. Yeah, I'm not sure I believe in air tags though, so... Yeah. And the battery's gone on them and then you've got to buy more.

Yeah, I didn't realise you were battery operator, but then I didn't know tea bags didn't have strings, so... True, and also something else that was so Alex Hartley, oh no, that happened last week was I was talking to you about some clothes and I told you that this item of clothing was black with lavender on it, lavender panels down the side. And you said to me, what? I thought lavender was a smell. Yeah, I did. Oh, how do you get through life, mate, without falling down more? Well, my grandbo's house always, always used to smell like lavender and she used to have that stuff that was like dried crisps in a house. Poupery.

Popery. And someone always ate it. Every time it was, someone would think it was crisps and eat it. Oh, welcome to the Hartley family. Yeah, and they got that tastes like lavender. So lavender's a plant and the colour of the plant is the purple. Purple. The purple-y, yeah.

And that's, so lavender is there, and that's the shade of purple. It's called lavender. So is every smell got like a plant that it originates from? So I've got one here. Lavender, Jasmine and Brazilian rosewood. So every smell originates from something. A smell is not just, it's got to come from something. Yeah, I know.

It's got to exist. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, I just had a brain fart, I think. Yeah, another one. I've also got, before we leave this podcast, I've got a bone to pick with you. Okay. you have some pants that you shrunk in the wash. Yes, I do. And you said I can have them.

You also went around to feed Morris's and told her she can have them. Yep. So who's having them? Because I want them. Well, I know you want them. You can try them on. You're welcome to try them on. You don't listen to this podcast.

You right. That's right. You said free. You don't think they'll fit them on. You don't think they'll fit over my massive ass. That's basically it. But if they do fit you, you're welcome to have them because they don't fit me anymore, that's for sure.

Yeah, they're probably not going to get me. But I'm going to try the one out of pure stubbornness. Yeah, honestly, you have them if they do fit. That's absolutely fine. Right, so, moving on. The men, please have cricket soon. We've got some cricket. Yes, yes.

It's a bit of sad news coming out of the England camp, actually, isn't there? Obviously with Harry Brooke having to fly home for personal reasons, so we hope he's okay. Yes, sending him lots of love. Again, I'm pretty sure I don't listen to this podcast. But we hope you're all right, Harry. It's obviously devastating when you have to miss cricket for any reason, but it sounds like it's something quite serious,

so sending you lots of no balls love. But how exciting that they're starting their test match in India. Thursday. we've got an early start isn't it i'm not going to get up and watch it but i love waking up in the morning and getting to watch overseas cricket on telly with a breakfast and a brew and the heating on and you're all cozy and i just love it yeah you are you're a big bash girl as well aren't you because you get up and watch it um big bash girl i'm a big bash i'm a sat 20 girl now as well there's cricket on all the time it's great there is so england start on Thursday it's going to be

early starts yep so they're starting in hydrabad um How do you think they're going to go? Tough. Having played a test match in India recently, I fully understand why teams go over there and find it so, so difficult. Yeah. It is so hard. And they've been over in Abu Dhabi prepping for the last couple of weeks,

has it been, about 10 days. So I really hope it's a really good series. Really? But I just, they're going to have to play some unbelievable cricket to win over there. I've got a good feeling. I don't know why. Yeah, I do. I really, really hope I'm right.

What I do think, though, now that Harry's obviously not involved in certainly the first couple of test matches, is that they're going to have to play folks. And I feel like it's giving them wiggle room now to get folks and Berstow into the squad. They've called Dan Lawrence in as backup for Harry, but I feel like they'll, you know, it's not an excuse, but sometimes when things like this happen, it does just open doors for people, doesn't it? Here's my question. So Dan Lawrence is flying from England or wherever he is in the world, into the Test Match Squad.

What's the point of having a Lions tour at the same time if someone from the Lions isn't getting called up? What's the point of having the Lions squad over there? And I felt a bit sorry for Josh Bahannon. So Dan Lawrence is flying from wherever he is in the world. Home, South Africa, Dubai, wherever he is. It's a great question. I don't know where he's been.

Dan Lawrence, where have you been? Where did you go? Where did you come? No, Joe. So we wish you look. Best to look. Emails on Noblespodcast at BBC.com.com.com.com.com.com.

It's so good. It's so good. They said it twice. She did that on purpose. I tried to go in time with you. Bye. See ya. Cross. I'm doing round the wicket. Boulder. Boulder. Laving a ball alone. Litchfield. Think it's the wobble ball.

It just nips back. It jags back. It's the nip. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beauty from Cross. Peb Guardiola. A perfectionist. A tactical genius. The best manager of his generation. The best manager in history.

Reserve team coach Peve Gordiola, a popular former player at the New Cap will take over from Rycard. This is a podcast all about the man who has shaped the modern game. It's almost as if he solved the riddle, if he's cracked the code for football. From his history in La Masia to dominating football across Europe. He's brought a brand of football

to the Premier League that we've never seen before. Everybody plays like Pep's teams now. On football, he takes you to heaven. From BBC 5 Live. Sporting Giants, Pep Guardiola. Listen on BBC Sounds.