Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - Ohhhhh Jimmy, Jimmy!
Episode Date: September 14, 2021Jimmy Anderson (yes, THE Jimmy Anderson) joins Kate and Alex to talk India, Ashes, warm-ups and frogs. Plus, Crossy did something for the first time in seven years this week......
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and cross strikes in the first over it's what England we're looking for
Hartley falls down the track comes scoring this time she connects
it's either six or out it's six
hello and welcome back to no balls the group podcast with me
Alex Hartley and you Catherine Laura Cross
why you middle name in me
because I thought I'd spice things up a little bit you know
nice nice okay how you doing
I'm all right thank you how are you
yeah I'm very well thank you very very well
good I have got over my really bad day yesterday
I had one of those days where cricket makes you cry
but today's a new day I've had 11 and a half hours sleep and I'm good
lovely you did say that you said I need to have a cry I need to eat some food
I need to get into bed and I need to sleep for half of the day
which you've done so I'm proud of you well done
So I'm back, baby.
Yeah, I feel like we start these podcasts now with you not being back,
giving a reason why you've got back and then saying you're back
and then we go through it all again.
Yeah, because the podcast recording day is my favourite day of the week.
It is.
We've been, oh my God, I've been looking forward to this day since last Thursday
because I've got so, so much on my sticky note to get through.
Oh my God, I'm so excited.
Are you all right, by the way?
Yeah, you asked me that and I said I'm really well, thank.
Yeah, but you meant to ask twice.
sorry um yeah i'm good thank you i traveled down to bristol yesterday to meet up with the one day squad
because she's in the england team baby guess who's back yes who's back um so yeah good we've got a first
game on thursday i've got five match series against new zealand which feels really strange
because it feels like the end of the season and i've got more international cricket ahead of
me yeah i've played this summer honestly crossy like i don't know how you're going to play another five
games because I am exhausted. And it's September, so it's going to be cold and three of them
a day, night game. So I'm a touch apprehensive. Let's be honest, you're not going to play five
because it will rain for at least one of those days. Every single chance, yeah. Although it's
September and it rained like all of August. So you just never know with these seasons now,
do you? I think the seasons need to change. I said this at training the other day. I've got a theory.
In fact, someone messages us saying that we needed another rat and pig theory. Yeah. I've got another
theory. I think, well, I think we've got the same theory. Well, probably because I probably
said it to you a month ago and you've probably latched onto it and said it's your theory now because
you are the podcast. Oh, here we go. I didn't mean it like that. You know I didn't. Well,
that is, I'm clipping that up and I'm going to put that all over the internet and that is where
you're at now. Yeah, so my theory, I'll say mine and you can say yours. I think the months of
the year have changed. So I think that everything has shifted back a month now. So actually, summer
should be the months of July, August and September.
Yeah.
And then we go into autumn and then winter is January, February, March.
That's my theory.
So my theory is that the months should be shifted back a month.
And so summer should be June, July, August.
I thought you were going to say your theory is that all the months are 11 months behind.
That works as well.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's my theory.
So anyway, we're playing cricket in September.
we did it last year at Derby and I remember clutching a hot water bottle for the entire series.
Yeah, same. I remember commentating in a winter coat.
Yeah, not good. So yeah, I'm good. I'm actually in a bit of isolation because we've had our last
COVID test this morning so I've just got to wait for that to come back negative and then I can go
and mingle with the girls again, which I'm really looking forward to.
Yeah, so you get to see everybody. And the last time you played an ODI, you got five for.
No, the last time I played an ODI I got one for.
Last time you played an ODI series, you got a five for.
Yes. Good stuff. Good to see you doing your homework, Al.
Yeah, good. I've got until Thursday to do that. So we're all good.
Right. First thing on my sticky note, we didn't mention last week the fact that you did that incredible voiceover for the BBC.
Oh, yeah, we didn't. No, we just left it.
Yeah, completely ignored it. Obviously, it's the hindsight podcast. How good was that?
I know. And I was so surprised when I listened to it back, I've actually watched it 50-odd times.
times now and it gives me goosebumps every time. I'm like, that is me. Honestly, it like blew my mind
that I sit here every single week with you and watch you struggle to read out a simple email.
And then I listened to that and it was like you were David Attenborough or something. I've never seen
anyone narrate something so well. Do you know what was quite good as well? I still had my chest infection
so my voice was quite like more sexy and husky. A bit raspy. Yeah.
They're like Phoebe and friends, yeah. Yeah. So my voice was probably better than it is.
now. So anyone listening to that
voiceover, it's on Al's Instagram page
and she tweeted it as well, go and listen
to it and just imagine the green
mucas in the back of her throat while she's saying
it. And between
lines I'm like,
yeah, nice.
The other thing that I want to talk about,
sorry, to interrupt you, before we go
on, you made your fighting talk debut
as well on Saturday. Yes,
I did, I did. And
I listened to it because I'm a good friend
and I had nothing else to do that morning.
And I was in stitches when you were talking about the fact that we brought up the fact
we got this podcast called No Bowls and it's a great name.
And the alternative, our sister podcast, it's called Stuart Broad's Floppy One.
Yeah, how good?
How good is that?
Because on to anyone that's not listened to Fighten Talk,
they said it's International Hat Day on Wednesday.
Think of a sports person that wears a hat.
And I was like, Stuart Broad's Floppy One.
Nice.
Great name.
for a rival podcast.
Yeah, well, it was meant to be our sister podcast.
Great name for our sister podcast.
So I don't know who's, maybe Brody and Molly can do it.
Yeah, nice.
Talk about Stuart Broad's floppy one.
So good.
What a chaotic show fighting talk is, by the way?
It didn't come across that way.
No, it was good.
I've never listened to it, so I didn't really know what to expect.
But I didn't realize it was an actual game show.
Yeah, neither did I.
But you got to be honest.
it with one of my heroes, Richard Osmond.
Yeah.
A funny man he is.
So funny.
And I was stood there, sat there, thinking, how am I on this show with these people?
He got a good agent, that's why.
Yeah, great agent.
Right.
On my sticky note, I've made notes this week, Rossi.
Good.
Because I'm back.
The podcast is back.
So I went down to Somerset County Cricket Ground to watch a T20, the last T20 of the
England series the other day.
And I met a lovely girl called Mets.
who listens every week
and we don't normally do this
but she asked for a shout out
so hello Meg
hi Meg
that is it
okay
lovely
there's actually a bit more
to that story isn't she
because her number one
she's my number one fan
yeah well I didn't want to get into that
so I asked
okay okay I said
who's your favourite England cricketer
she said Catherine Brunt
and Gate Cross
and Gate Cross
I love Gate Cross
I said alright then
who's your favourite Manchester
Originals player
Kate Cross
was like bye
Right, see you.
Bye.
We'll cut that short.
Yeah, nice.
Right, I've got another thing on, I've got so much on this sticking out.
This could be a long episode because we've got a guest as well.
We have got a guest.
There's been a movement on Instagram and on Twitter.
The no-ballers, the psychopath spuds, are calling for trough and peak of the week again.
Yes, they are.
They really want trough and peek at it was like 90% yes and 10% no.
And we stopped doing it because it was mostly during lockdown, wasn't it?
It was like our peak of the week was the fact that we saw the postman that day.
And it just all got a bit lame.
So we canned it and they want it back.
Well, should we bring it back?
Well, I'm going to put you on the spot a little bit here, Al.
Okay.
But let's do, trough and peak of the week.
Peak of the week.
Please can you go first?
Yeah, okay.
So my peak of the week was the fact that I scored my first,
list A 50
since 2014 on Friday
at sale
How good from you
And I did it
I did it in front of a group of cavemen
With two dinosaurs
I did it in front of two frogs and a wizard
And I did it in front of
Some people who should have been watching
Virat Koli Bat
And instead we're watching Kate Crossbat
Yeah well you've just taken my peak of the week away from me
Well I can't have done
Because you didn't know we were doing it until 45 seconds ago
And then I was thinking about it
I was like that crowd is going to be my peak of the week
Well, that wasn't my peak of the week, so go ahead.
So my peak of the week is the test match got cancelled.
It's not the peak.
I'm giving it some context.
Yeah, keep going.
And a few of the members, members, crowd members, didn't know what to do for the day.
So they googled the nearest cricket ground.
And I think Lanks put a thing out saying, if you want to go and watch the girls, they're at sale.
So we had stagdos, people in fancy dress, all coming to watch us play cricket.
and absolutely loving it, getting involved,
like shouting, screaming, chanting our names
and it was incredible.
They were brilliant.
I was actually fielding in front of a group of lads
and they said to me, they said,
because you were bowling at the time,
they said, is there any nicknames for Hartley?
Like, bearing in mind, they didn't know who was playing.
They just saw your name on the back of your shirt.
So I gave them one of our nicknames for you.
Yeah.
And the second you were about to bowl,
they shouted it and you absolutely wet yourself.
didn't you? You couldn't bowl for laughing.
Yeah. And then you took a wicket.
When you finally did get, you know, stop laughing enough to bowl, you took a wicket and
you were giving it the all like pointing at them in the crowd and I'm running through
pointing at them as well. And we ran towards the crowd to point at them and be like,
that was for you. It was brilliant. I've got it clipped up actually. I will, when this comes
out, I'll tweet that because it's a very funny video. And there's, without context, it's not
funny. But now that people know the story, it is very good.
Nice. What is your trough of the week?
trough of the week
do you have one while I'm thinking
yeah I do
we played the most
horrendous game of cricket yesterday against
the Northern Diamonds
at Durham County Cricket Ground
and it made my day so bad
you know they scored 300
and we scored 140 or something
it was just one of those days
where you set a field as captain
and the ball goes in the opposite direction of where it should
and things like that
and I went
like sixes and there's a few drop catches and it was just freezing cold and you can just tell
everyone's done with cricket we've got one more game and just the trough of the week yeah okay
fair enough um do you know what i don't know if i've got a trough of the week you can't bring back
pop peaking trough of the week or whatever it's called and then not have one um my two best mates
that aren't you were in dittsbury village the other day and i had to wave at them through
the window because I was in
isolation. I'd had my
COVID test. I wasn't had to see anyone.
And it just got to me
again, and I feel like
I say this all the time on the pod, but
it just got to me like how much we
sacrifice to play sport
and sometimes it gets forgotten about
especially now there's crowds back and people
are coming to watch cricket again. I think
it just reminded me
of how
much we've given to be able to play
cricket this summer. Yeah. That
That is fair, but the video of you waving out your window is very funny.
Yeah, it was funny, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Any more sticky notes?
Loads, Al?
Absolutely, loads.
We've talked about the test match card, so I can get rid of that one.
Should I do, have you got one right now?
Yeah, I'd just like to touch on one.
We did a little beef last week, didn't we?
And I've got a bit of beef with you actually now.
Oh, no.
So you said on the podcast last week, and I know you were winding me up, but it really did hit home,
that the reason that Thunder have been losing games of cricket is because I've been playing again.
Yep.
I did say that.
Your trough of the week actually just then
was you talking about losing badly a game of cricket,
like horrendously, probably one of the worst losses
that you've had all season or possibly as captain
when I wasn't there.
We really missed you yesterday, like really missed you.
All I wanted to hear.
We've had a message on Instagram.
Can you please do bucket hats
because I will 100% buy one purely for the fact
it's ugly as hell, but it's got you two on it?
Because somebody in a cross.
crowd made their own bucket hat with our faces on how outrageous was that i saw it we got
tagged in it on the instagram page and i was like no way someone's having us on here but someone
is actually and it's it's not just one picture of me and you it's thousands of mini pictures of me and
you on this person's hat i think i quite like it that person needs to make a little website
and make some money off that because we're not allowed to sell any merchandise do what you
want honestly yeah just just order your own or do you own donate something to charis
and we'll be happy.
Yes.
A couple more things.
Did you see Player of the Week
this week from the ICC?
The Doggo.
The Dogo, yes.
Yes.
How good.
Razzle, I think it was called.
Razzle the dog.
Oh my God.
Viral.
It went viral.
So, Ireland.
Was it Ireland women or I don't even know what it was.
I don't know who was playing.
A women's game in Ireland
and the ball gets hit out
into the deep and a dog runs on the pitch and gets hold of the ball.
The dog gets the ball. The ball gets thrown back to the wicketkeeper. The wicketkeeper
launches the ball at the stumps in an attempt to run out and then the dog gets the ball.
And all I can think about is whoever's owner, the owner of that dog must have been running
on the pitch going, Razel! Razel! Razzle! Come, Razel! But there's a little boy that's chasing
it and you just think, oh my God, they're going to be so embarrassed that their dogs run on the pitch.
I'm just going to double check it's called Razzle actually
because I might make that up
Well even if it's not
Dazzle
Dazzle the dog
Razzle works
Razzle works better
rename it Razzle
Yeah
Razzle the dog
Dazzle the dog
Same same but different
Same same but different
Are you done with your sticking out
I have one more
Right you go and then I've got one more
I noticed something in this flat today
I've never seen it before
your heating device
is really slick and pretty
you've got one of them
like one of them smart meters
and I text you being like
how do I put the heating on it's winter it's absolutely
no no no that is not what you text me
what are you lying for
can you actually text me can you put the heating on
can you put the heating on for me for an hour
I don't know what to do I'm overwhelmed
because I have an app
my phone and you've got that little smart device so I didn't know what to do so you had to talk me
through it but it's very pretty once it's all switched on it's good isn't it it's a little handy
device and also you can ask Alexa yeah I know I can't wait for tomorrow morning be like
Alexa I'm cold right are you ready for this I don't know because you text me the other day being
like you've got something for the podcast and you won't tell me what it is because I wanted a genuine
reaction to this so I was listening to the podcast last week as I do and you don't do I listen
this week. And it came to my attention, and I didn't know about this, but I did not realize
that I had only adopted an elephant for you for one year. Yes. So I'm just going to forward
an email onto you, and I'm going to let you read it out on the podcast. Okay. But I have
amended the situation. I'm so nervous. Okay, I've sent it through to you, so you should get it
now. Okay. Just uploading.
Kate Cross, thank you for your adoption.
Forwarded.
Thank you, animal name, Vishana, warty pigs.
Package gold.
Hi, Catherine, thank you for your Vishan one.
How do you say that?
I don't know, but it looks like Visayan warty pig.
So you've, we are certain that Alex, space, middle name, Andrea, will love it.
So you've adopted me a pig.
A warty pig.
A warty pig.
Okay, that, I mean, that's got you 90 quid.
Well, because with the gold membership, you got two admission fees and I owe you a trip to Chester Zoo.
So I bought it as a gold package.
But I was looking at these animals and I was thinking, what can I adopt for it?
Because you've had the elephant now.
You did the truck.
you've had it all and I thought who out there is adopting a warty pig for their kid no one so I thought you can adopt those little water pigs and on the little plaque it says Alex Andrew Harley and I think we should go and see them because we've got two free emissions so basically I got a free pig
no they weren't free admissions because it came with the gold membership so I've had to pay for the admission so good though I'm oh thank you for my warty pig you so you weren't now with a proud mum of a
warty pig. So last year I got a little booklet with a picture of my elephant. So hopefully this
year I get a booklet with my warty pig. And if you have to go to the zoo dressed as an animal,
I'd love to see you dressed as a little warty pig. Right. Brilliant. Of course you would. I don't
need to dress up for that. No. Like mother like daughter. Oh. Do we have time for questions or do we
we're just going to have to introduce the guest? I think we need to go into the guest. This is going to,
we said it would be a long episode. In fact, I've got
But one set of questions that I promised I was going to read out today.
Okay.
And so much so these came through to me on an Instagram message
because we've been ignoring our emails.
So, like, okay, right.
Well, we'll quickly go upstairs with...
We've got to go out with Anna again.
She messaged us.
She messaged us saying thanks.
Thank you for taking her upstairs.
So Anna Harris, we're going again.
6. Sharouk here from Karachi in Pakistan. Guess who's back? Back again. Sharuk's back with her males.
Sorry about that, but my last two males didn't get read out, so I'm thinking persistence is key.
I'm going to try for a third time. Here are my questions. Q. Amy Satathwaite accent.
My questions. Questions? Kate, are we just going to let Alex's story about the amazing Emma Radicano as the US Open win slide.
where she called out, remember the name.
How good was that from me?
I was like, Emma Ranacat, what, I don't even say the name.
Wow.
Remember the name.
Remember the name, but learn how to say the name
before you talk about it on the podcast.
Say it again for me.
Radicarni.
Ranacardi.
You like Joey and friends when he tries to learn French.
Radicarno.
Radicarno.
Well done. Number two. Whilst re-listening to Carlos' episode, I heard about the anonymous toy animal prankster, which in recent weeks had completely slipped my mind. Did you guys ever find out who was in charge of that? A conclusion to the story will do my OCD a lot of good.
We did, didn't we? And two pranksters. In fact, everyone's turned into pranksters, but it was.
Danielle Collins. And Laura Jackson. The two that pranked me.
by wrapping all my kit in Klingfilm.
I've kept my little animals, though, have you?
Yep, I brought them with me on this trip.
Nice.
Question number three.
Have you got any updates on Emma Lam's hand?
She got injured yesterday.
She did get injured yesterday.
Strange that they're resending these questions from a previous email,
but they're new questions.
Maybe they can read the future.
Put the lottery on tonight.
Lammy has gone for an x-ray today on her thumb
because she may or may not have broken it.
We don't know.
well let's keep our fingers crossed there's another question which i'm not going to ask because
it's about getting to tell you what a lot of people have said this to us recently about how good
soph was and we need to get back on the podcast and everyone loved your episode just go back and listen
to that one again yeah just keep going with it yeah shall we introduce this week's guest
speaking of guests shall we let go it's one of our best right crossy as always it gives me
great pleasure to introduce this week's guest we've got england's all-time best bowler king of the
swingers and oh he's got a little podcast it's jimmy anderson hello thank you so much for agreeing to
come on the podcast actually we've got a bones pick with you to start with because we were supposed
to do a tail ender's crossover with you it's been in the pipeline for months last time i spoke to
gregg he said he was going to put it in the group and work out when we could all do it and still
nothing has surfaced. So there's someone in that WhatsApp group that really doesn't want to do that
crossover. So who is it? I don't know. I think it's just trying to find time to get it in the
diary, to be honest. Oh yeah. He's definitely mentioned it. But yeah, we'll definitely have to do it
at some point. Felix White's going, nah, don't want to get, don't want to do it. No, it's definitely
not him. I think it's matching. It could be. Could be. I don't want to name names.
but there's someone matching
how are you doing
I'm good
in a bit of a strange week
with a test match being
canned on Friday but
yeah I'm all right
we were about to say that you should be
day four of the final test at
Old Traffered but you're not
you're at home so that was all a bit strange
yeah it was a bit strange and it was
like such a shame as well
because it was a brilliant series
and getting to play at Old Trafford, my home ground.
It could have come to, it could be an amazing climax as well to the series,
sort of, you know, because of the quality of the cricket throughout.
But, yeah, it was just very weird a few days.
When did you guys actually find out that it was off?
The morning of the game.
So you've not warmed up, so that's a bonus.
That's a bonus.
but I got woken up at like quarter past seven by Chris Silverwood
saying don't bother coming to the ground.
There's no play today.
Yeah, I was like, yeah, I did wonder what was going on.
Well, firstly, I was fuming.
I missed the first call because he woke me up.
And then when I answered the second time,
he was like, yeah, don't bother coming to the ground.
And then as the morning went on,
we found out more information and the fact that it just wasn't going ahead at all.
Well, your test match is lost was our gain
because all of the test match fans came to watch us at sale
All of them, Al, there was 200 people there,
I'm like 26,000, imagine if you had thousands of people at sale
But we had everyone in fancy dressing, it was brilliant
Yeah, I did see pictures from that
I saw a few people on Twitter like redirecting people to sail
who were meant to be going to the test match
And I've seen pictures of like frogs and wizards on the boundary
and then maybe a game of cricket
at the end of the actual game.
It was actually really embarrassing
and I was like,
oh, we've got these test match fans coming to watch
and we've just been bowled out for 110.
Couldn't have been a worst game to come and watch.
They loved it though.
They actually came up to us and thanked us
because they got no cricket to watch
and they got to come and watch us.
But you need to explain the wizard and the frog thing
because I don't listen to your podcast.
I'm not going to lie to you.
But yeah, there's some context there that we're missing.
So can you explain that to our listeners, please?
Oh, God.
mean, I can't really. So basically, Matt on our podcast is a shoe salesman from Bristol
for those that haven't listened. He had no idea about cricket before he joined our podcast,
then two years later, he somehow the font of all knowledge about cricket. He gave me this
kind of sort of, I don't know what you call it, like an ultimatum type thing, same. Would I rather
have another 10 years
of playing international cricket
not aging but I'd have a frog
chasing me around
for the rest of my career
and if the frog catches me
then it kills me
right
and it was a wizard
come into it
I think it was a wizard that came up with the fuck
it's the wizard's the wizard's frog
or would I rather just carry
I think I'd just rather carry on
not have a frog chasing me around, but since he's mentioned that,
there have been sightings of frogs at cricket grounds in fancy dress
throughout the test series, which has been quite funny.
So we batted first, and then fielding, I was out at Cal
and there's a group of lads behind me.
So I was like, I'll where you guys from?
And they were like from London.
I was like, what are you doing up here then?
It took me till like the 30th over of the second innings to work out
that the test match fancy dress had come to watch us.
I just thought people were dead keen on women's cricket.
Right, what's next for you then, Jimmy?
So you're at home now you've got no test cricket.
What's next?
I'm going to spend the rest of the month playing golf, I think,
and then should start thinking about Australia.
We head to Australia in start November.
So October will be trying to get in shape for that,
trying to get fit and maybe a bit of bowling just to get ready for that.
just a bit of bowling
you've actually done
you've done a lot of bowling this summer
yeah
so that's what I mean
I was genuinely serious
when I said a little bit of bowling
because I'm not going to
overdo it because we've got a month
once we get there
to get up to speed
so I'm just going to try and
relax the next few weeks
because I've done quite a bit
over the last like five
six weeks
and then I'll just tick over
because I hate bowling indoors
I don't know about you
but I absolutely hate bowling indoors
it's nothing more
soul destroying really. Is there anything worse than cricket pre-season?
Definitely not. I don't understand. The press have been saying how much you've been bowling and
you needed to be rested for this last game that didn't go ahead anyway. What would another
like 60 overs have been though when you're not playing for another two months? Yeah.
Other than a possible side strain. It's a good point. I think yeah, the muscle injuries come
into it a bit. And the fact that like the overall I felt really tired towards the end of that
game. So I did feel, I did worry that I was going to get fatigue quite quickly in this last
test. But I think I'd have got through it. Like you said, one more test and then a few weeks
off. Tiring when prox is chasing you though. That'll help me, wouldn't it? You've got more
running to do. Yeah, but I think the fear factor that I'm dead if it catches me with a
would spur me on. We thought our podcast was a shambles.
Oh, these are shambles.
We actually heard a little bit of a rumour going through the summer.
I've got it on good authority that it's true, actually.
But you could have potentially signed for the Manchester originals.
Can you confirm?
Yeah.
You were going to?
No, I think all the centrally contracted players were given teams.
So I was asked at the early stages whether I would want to go into the draft
or be associated with a team.
So I think I made a decision
I wasn't going to play in it, basically.
But I don't think we'll ever know if I'd have.
So this doesn't match my timeline.
No.
I found out once we played at the Oval, not opening night,
I was speaking to a certain head coach
and I said who would have been the replacement player
for maybe Olly Robb?
And he said they were thinking about signing you.
Yeah, well, I didn't hear from him.
I didn't ask him
They didn't sign anyone instead
How good is it though
That your career is just like an economy rate of three
Rather than getting
Hit for 15s like me and I'll do every single week
Yeah
Yeah but you say that
I've played 196 one day internationals
And I went up about five and over
So I've had the experience of it
And I hate it
So I hate the thought of it now
Going back to it
You can't count 196 one day games
From like 10 years ago
because the game's moved on since then.
That was when 180 was a winning score.
I still managed to go for 90 off 10 overs a few times.
Can happen.
Can happen, yeah.
So you are obviously very good at cricket,
and Lancashire's your home ground,
you've grown up playing cricket there.
Did you ask for an end to be named after you,
or did you want a stand?
I didn't ask for her.
I told them to do it.
Right, okay.
Demanded it.
no i did um do you know what i got told that they were going to do
spend a lot of money on a sort of floor to ceiling painting for like the long room
what of you yeah
and ashley giles was head coach at the time and he said this is what they're thinking
and i was like absolutely not he said yeah i'll go back to them and say is there anything else
that maybe you could do
if you're going to do something
of that sort of nature
and then the end
sort of came around.
I mean,
a whole wall
painted of you
that, I'd have hated that as well.
Not me because it's you.
I mean...
I mean, if it was me.
Yeah, it'd be awful, wouldn't it? Especially if you spend
a lot of time at the ground, you're walking in
every day and there's a
Big.
And you don't know who's going to
have you seen some of the
paintings at Lords as well?
Yeah,
but I've got to be really careful
about who does it
because some of them are shocking.
Yeah, they are.
I think my probable
is awful.
They would have probably commissioned,
they'd have probably commissioned
a little kid to do it.
It would have been awful.
But saying that,
when the test match was
men have been on,
there was a big floor
to ceiling picture of you
outside the reception
of the pavilion.
Yeah.
I think that's just
advertising the game, isn't it?
Yeah, but see you got both,
so win-win.
You find it embarrassing.
You've got a name.
end after you? Or do you like it? It doesn't happen in people's careers normally, does it? It's
normally like once you've retired. Yeah, I think it's nice. I've been able to bowl at that end,
but I find it a bit strange, a bit weird, especially when they announce it, because they don't
really know what to say, the announcers. They're like, they don't know how, what tone a voice
to use as they're saying it. What tone would you like it to be said in? Just normal.
X factor. I remember the, I think I remember the first time I'm
there and it was like from the James Anderson end
James Anderson end like just a bit like
trying to be a comedian
Crossy which end do you have the most success at
I actually yeah from Jimmy's end I have most success
I don't bowl that well from the Brian's Day of the end
right you've had a million five fers
and I've got a genuine question about if you right
if you took three wickets in the first 80 overs
with the old ball and then took two for
with the new ball, which ball do you keep?
The old one.
Always.
More often than not.
Does it depend on how many wickets you take with each ball?
No, it depends on how many obes are bowl with the second new ball.
Because if it looks brand new and then you keep it and you say, I've got five with this.
Of course you've got five for that.
Brand new, isn't it?
Then if you've got an old ball, it looks, and people say, God, you've got five wickets with this.
That's unbelievable.
It's like a dog's chewed it.
But you'll get your old one.
you got it when it was new
got your wickets when it was new
yeah
so if you
if you took Fifer with the new ball
would you keep the old ball
no keep the new ball
if I got a wicket with the old ball
all right what about one and four
so you got four with the new one
one with the old one
yeah probably the new one
this is really
I've not even thought about this
I've never even thought about it
we don't get these opportunities
because we don't play much test cricket
so I've never
I got to keep a red ball.
So I was just wondering.
Have you not got a test match five for?
I thought you did.
No.
Neither have I.
Never played test cricket.
Anyway, what's it like being the best Seamer in history?
And was it always a goal or did it just sort of happen?
I don't actually see myself as that.
I think what I've done well is managed to play for a long period of time.
That's why I've got more wickets than anyone else because I've played more games than anyone else.
I look at some unbelievable bowlers in the past
and there are currently as well in world cricket
so I don't really see myself as the best.
I just see myself as very fortunate to have played as much as I have
and I feel like I can, you know, I've still got more to offer as well,
more to, I still want to keep playing.
Well, no splash you are the world's best seamer.
That was such an ECB answer.
Was it?
That's genuinely how I feel though.
I don't see myself as anything other than someone who just tries to...
Like, obviously, no, I'm good,
because I've grown up with watching some amazing bowlers.
Like, Glenn McGraw, the best bowler I've ever seen.
Dale Stain, the best bowler of my generation.
Like, there are so many great bowlers out there.
I don't see myself at the top of that list.
Fair.
Very humble.
Sorry for being the ECB answer.
No, it's okay.
You could have just been like, yeah, I'm world-class, and what?
right um you won't know this because you won't listen to the podcast but um jaspit brummerer is our ambassador
he's our first ever ambassador for the podcast because he got no balls trending on twitter a couple
of weeks ago because he was bowling at you yeah you remember it i do just
is it horrendous knowing that you're going to go in and have to face someone who's bowling night
and Alan Aaron just wants to hurt you.
Yeah, it's horrific.
Like, my batting has gone so downhill in the last five years.
That was never good, but I could, I used to do Night Watchman,
used to get the odd 20 or 30, even got a 50 ones.
But since, like, the last few years,
I don't get one ball pitched up,
might get the odd yorker, the rest of it is just,
there's a short leg, there's a flipping leg gully,
slips everywhere.
And it's just, yeah, it's,
It's a matter of survival for me now.
If I come off the pitch unscathed, that's a successful innings for me.
Right.
From number 11 to number 11, why have you got worse and not better then?
I think because people just like figured me out.
My strength is spin, very rarely face spin anymore.
Because they can't bounce you.
Yeah, exactly.
And yeah, I just, I've no answer for the short ball.
If I could pull or hook, then great.
Then I've got an option, but I can't.
Do you not practice that?
I'm praying that the Australian battery of fast bowlers aren't listening to this because...
Yeah, they tune in weekly, actually.
I can't guarantee.
They know I can't bat anyway.
They're going to bounce me out of this.
You've got some time off, though, why don't you get in the indoor school,
getting the fast lane at Old Trafford, get on the bowling machine.
Ben, I'm sure he'll serve the balls for you.
Get practicing you pulling and hook in.
Yeah, great.
I mean, that's worse than actually.
the bravery that you need to bat, I think I'd rather save it for the game
rather than waste it in the nets.
That's my theory.
That makes sense.
Rather than getting peppered by, I think bowling machine balls hurt more than cricket balls.
Yeah, they do.
They're awful.
Never practice.
You get the little pimple marks as well.
It's not a seam mark.
It's like little dots on your body.
It's awful.
Right.
No balls questions.
We ask everyone of our guests these questions.
What is your best moment?
on a cricket field.
Well, after discussing all that about my batting,
I think getting 50 in a test match.
I love that.
You actually got like 80 odd, didn't you?
I got 81, yeah.
And I was like,
so I got in at T, 81 not out,
not even thought about getting 100,
and it even crossed my mind.
And then Matt Pryor came up to me and said,
only 19 more for 100.
Oh, no.
Nicked off the first ball after T.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
But I say either that or,
winning the ashes in Australia in 2011.
Was that the sprinkler ashes?
Was, yeah.
Yeah, good ashes.
But we won three-one.
And then we won the last test at Sydney
and we all sat on the outfield having a beer at the SCG
kind of just having a chat and discussing the tour and stuff like that,
which I thought was really special.
Okay, flip that, what's your worst moment on a cricket pitch?
We've got a few, I think.
The issue with batting 11 is, or one of them,
is that you generally, if you're batting last
and you lose the game, you're the one getting out.
You feel like you're letting the team down.
You've got to shake the opposition's hand, exactly.
So that's not great.
But one thing that came straight into my head then
was my first ever ball as a professional cricketer
was for Lancashire second team at Blackpool.
And I was a bit nervous.
I was running in.
As I was running in, I lost my run up a little bit.
started stuttering my legs were a little bit jelly-like
as I've tried to take off
my back foot went through off stump
and I've just so I've cleaned up the stump
at the wrong end and fallen on the floor
that is pretty embarrassing
and Ian Gould Gunner was umpire
I'm really sorry I'm really sorry
oh you just really nervous you didn't let the ball go
I didn't let the ball go now
oh that could have been worse than you could have hurt someone
true than yourself
yeah
I'm just picturing you doing that.
Your best teammate, your favourite teammate.
I think my best mate that,
I think Alistair Cook's probably sort of the best teammate
who's then the best mate after cricket sort of thing,
outside cricket.
Guys in the dressing room like Swanee and Mark Wood stand out
two amazing characters and great tourists, great to have around.
Good fun. It can be annoying.
Wokesy actually,
Wokesy put Woody as his least favourite.
because he's so annoying.
Yeah, but I like that.
I like seeing how much he annoys everyone.
I get kicks out of that watching everyone else.
They just can't take,
because he's literally 100 miles an hour every minute of the day
until he gets to about like half seven and then just keels over.
Like a little baby.
A little poppy with the zoomies.
Right, who's your worst teammate then?
Someone that you just think,
oh my God, you are so annoying.
There's a few, I don't think I could say a few of them.
Go on. They don't listen.
I don't know. I don't think there's anyone really.
Like, the beauty of a, like, a dressing room is you can just walk out.
Yeah.
If someone's getting annoying, just walk out, go to, go and make a coffee or something.
I think that's what I try and do.
But generally, I don't find anyone that annoying.
Well, that was a rubbish answer.
Lies.
Absolutely lies.
Yeah, I can see you going, there's so many names, but I just don't want to be that person.
all right then your favorite dressing room and why edge boston it's massive it's massive it's got a great
set up there's a gym there on the it's all on the same level dressing room viewing area with massive
couches so you can just watch cricket fall asleep nice um good physio room good for great food as well
there so i think that's probably my my favorite bit of a step up from yours al from uh from uh well
Leicester. Yeah, my favourite dresser in Leicester. Do you know what?
My favourite dresser in Leicester? Yeah, it's not my favourite ground. It's one of the least.
But I'd just like you get your own individual little, and you can stay away from everyone.
Little cubby hole.
Leicester? Great viewing area.
What's a change since I've been there? Because it was a box.
It is a box, yeah. On reflection, it was a very shambolic answer, but I've got a role with it now.
Or maybe it sums up where women cricket, where women played the cricket for like five years.
Yeah.
What was yours, Crossey?
Wacker
Why?
Just very good memories there
And when
You know why
It's actually because her name
Was on one of the lockers
It literally it
When we played for the scorches
I had my name on my locker
With like a little picture of me
It was class
So her favourite dresser room
Is because her ego
Got in the way
It's got a name on it
Yeah why not
What's your least favourite
favourite dressing room
Well I've got that
Leicester
At least favourite
I think
Australia pretty bad
generally because they're underground.
Yeah.
They're so dark and gloomy.
Yeah, it's just like in a dungeon.
And all you can hear is like
you can hear the crowd as well.
So you're like what?
And the TV's always on a delay.
So you're like, what was that?
Was that a wicket?
You're just on edge all the time.
Can't relax.
Are you where it's bad headingly.
And I'm not just saying that
because I'm from Lancashire,
but the worst viewing area in the world.
Do you know what happened with a viewing area there?
No.
They built the new stand.
or whatever it is, that ugly-looking thing.
Built the dress rooms and everything.
And then when the cricket department were walking around,
they said, where do the players watch the game?
And they were like, oh.
So they actually stuck like a porter cabin on the,
that that viewing area that you can't really stand up in.
It's like a porter cabin stuck on the side of the building.
I mean, a viewing area is key with a game of cricket, surely.
Yeah, generally.
Last question. Who do you love getting out the most?
It used to be Shane Watson, but I think the, just because we always had Nigel.
Got out LBW a lot and reviewed it all the time.
Yeah, we just always got each other, I think.
We annoyed each other, so getting him out was nice.
But I don't know now.
There's no one that I really, like, Coley was a good one from the last series,
just because I hardly ever get him out.
This series is in your pocket.
I think just like the best player, I want to get the best player out all the time.
That's the best one.
Like, if you get the captain or the best player out,
you've done the job for your team, aren't you?
Is that another ECB answer?
Sorry, guys.
No, no.
That was good.
That's good.
I did want you to be like,
I hate this person,
so I'm getting them out,
but never mind.
No, nothing like that.
Who do you love getting out in training in your own team?
Oh, nice.
Rudy, probably.
Captain, best player.
Best player.
Yeah, Swanee's thing was always,
always he'd go into the net
and make sure he was bowling at Andrew Strauss.
said you've got a bowl at the captain,
got to bowl well at him,
that gets you in the team.
I've heard that, actually.
But I can't imagine Joe Rue ever thinking
you're bowling at Mowing Alley in the net next to him,
so you're not going to get picked.
Well, I never used to ball at Heather Knight.
Look at me now.
Now you just commentate on her.
Right.
Every week we do a quiz with our guests,
which the numbers may or may not be true
because we've just got them off Google.
So if we're wrong,
No one will know. You won't know, but you'll either get these right or wrong.
So, question number one of the famous no balls quiz.
How many test runs have you conceded?
I have no idea.
Have a guess.
10,000, 20?
16,827.
Is that surprise you?
Not really. I was trying to figure out how many balls are bowled and then, but I didn't help, obviously.
So you got that wrong.
So how many test match runs have you scored?
1200?
Yeah, no, yeah, that's right, yeah.
Yeah, we'll give you that.
Do you want to give me?
Do you want the exact number?
Yeah.
It's a quiz, Jimmy.
Obviously, we want the exact answer.
All right, 1,173.
So you guess 1,100 and then went 1,100.
And 73?
Incorrect.
You were closer with your first answer.
1,249, which means you actually owe the ECB 15,578 runs.
so would you rather pay 10 pound a run or score or play until you score them all
I'd rather play to score them all
you've got a face bummer though still rather play to a frog chasing you
right you got that wrong next question is your right you got to concentrate for this
is your international T20 batting strike rate higher or lower than your test match bowling strike rate
lower?
Correct.
Yes.
Your international T20
batting strike rate is 50
and your bowling strike rate is
56.33.
Buzzing with that.
I was like, yeah, that's quite good.
I thought it'd be like 30 odd.
You've only scored one run.
Oh.
Set in like 18 games or something?
Yeah.
I suppose you don't bat much in T20.
No.
If you're batting in a T20
your teams let you down, aren't they?
Right.
You are number one in the world
but what for?
This isn't going to be a good thing, is it?
No, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Can I have a clue?
It's to do with bowling, so it's not a bad thing.
You've needed help for this one.
You've not done it on your own.
What?
Jesus Christ, Jimmy.
These listeners are going to be bored.
This could be absolutely anything, couldn't it?
Yeah, it could.
And you're probably going to get it wrong.
I'll go with most dismissals with another person.
With who?
Alice to Cook.
Okay, Neil, you are number one in the world for the most wickets taken by a wicket keeper with 178.
Brilliant.
Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
I'm delighted with that.
Right, last question.
We're boring you, I think.
How many innings was it, how many innings was it before you got your first duck?
57.
Oh, you're not that good.
54.
What is it?
54.
54.
That's really impressive.
I should have known that.
Should have.
Especially when your career highlight is to do with your batting.
Exactly, yeah.
Well, I think you got one right in all of that.
They were all questions or give me some questions
that I can actually answer like about football or something.
On a cricket podcast.
Right.
We're done.
Thank you very much for coming on and taking a whole half an hour out of your day
because you were late, so we didn't get an hour.
I'm really sorry about that.
But thanks for having me on.
I enjoyed it.
Thanks for coming on.
We'll see you for the nobles, tail enders crossover.
Get in that watchbook and find out who hates us.
I'll give the lads a nudge and, yeah, we'll sort it out.
Heard that before.
Not happening.
Good luck with your golf this next month.
Thank you.
Thanks, Jimmy.
Bye.
Cheers, guys.
See it.
I mean, Al, we, I don't know how we do it sometimes, but we have just got
the best
seam bowler
ever on this podcast
like how have we managed
oh and Jimmy was on here as well
yeah
thanks for being on the podcast crossy
I don't know how we do it
because we've done it ourselves
had no help
again thanks to BBC
I mean actually thanks because they set up listening for us
so cheers but he was great
he was very Jimmy wasn't he
when when people give him the grumpy
northerner tag.
You can kind of understand why
because there's not a lot of enthusiasm
that goes into him.
But I think he enjoyed it.
I hope so.
We'll see if he messages saying thanks
and if we don't hear from him again
then he didn't enjoy it.
Well, yeah.
And hopefully if he gives us a little retweet
that'll be helpful.
That, oh, think of the followers.
But I've got a quick question.
Would you rather get chased by a frog
whilst playing cricket
or have to face Jasbet bummer?
I mean, if the frog
catches up with me, I die, so I would rather
face Jaspic Brummer. Yeah, but if
Jasbitt Bumra balls at you, you probably
die anyway, because he's hitting you in the throat.
Yeah, no, I'd rather face him and just
hope that he balls outside the leg stump or something.
Yeah, because that is probably
what he would do. Yeah, just
move it away, swing it away, swing one, yeah.
We are not sorry
that this episode has been so long.
Not in the slightest.
We're, you know what? You tell
us that you love the podcast.
You're making your own merchandise now.
This is, this is just got into a, we were in a rabbit hole out and I don't think we're coming
out of it.
We're not.
So guys, please keep, keep, keep getting in touch.
We do see all your messages.
Email us on.
Noblespodcast at BBC.com.
Skitty-bap-bop-bop-bop-bbc.cad-bcobbc.
Nobles podcast at BBC.
That's skinny, bap-bap-co.com.
Okay.
It's so good.
They said it twice.
Wow. We'll see you next week. We've got a few more guests lined up for us and we have got your emails. We've not ignored them. We have.
We've just not had time. Because when we have a guest, it's hard to do emails, but stick with us. We've got you.
We do got you. Bye guys. See you. Bye.
Chicken X.
It's either six or out.
It's six.
It's six.
Hey guys, I'm Charlie XEX.
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