Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast - The Most Embarrassing Story Ever

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Cricketers Kate Cross and Alex Hartley discuss their recent tied RHF Trophy game, the retirement of legend Katherine Sciver-Brunt and share one of the great cringe-worthy stories.

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Yes. But when we need to, we can do. Boy, can we deliver. As England's greatest ever bowler, you don't need to do this podcast, but why do you? Welcome to Taylenders, a Lucy Cricket Base. Thank you, Havanaugh's Lucy Cricket Base.

With podcasts from me, Chief Force, him Felix White, him Jimmy Anderson, matchintender Walker, distantly. Tail Enders. Listen on BBC Sounds. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Hi, everyone. The BBC have told us that we've got to issue a warning.

We swear too much. Henry does beep it out for us because he's a good man. It is actually so that your family can all listen. Your kids can listen. But we will say... Sugar. That's not a really bad one. And cross strikes in the first over.

It's what England we're looking for. Hartley Falls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Hello and welcome back to Nobles for Cricket podcast. A very special episode with me Kate Croll.

and you Alex Hartley because why Alex? Well, it's a bit of a throwback really, crossy, isn't it? Because we were in the studio episode two back in the day when it was me and the editing it. And now the BBC have invited us in and we're finally back in the studio. So if we sound really good, it's because we've got professional microphones in front of us.

It's actually really nice as well. It feels nice, doesn't it? The last time we had professional microphones, you tried to fit it in your mouth. No, don't, don't. We're at our place for work out. I know, I know, so we've got to be on our best behaviour. I've sort of forgotten what we do

because we've got people watching and it's all very strange. Yeah, we've got Tim and Henry and a man called Alex watching us. So, hi, everyone. Oh, a little wave. Oh, look at that. This is good for Henry because we're not using our phones as microphones anymore and he's listening, so I reckon it'll take him 40 minutes to edit, surely.

And when he's got to make us sound better, now he just has to do the editing like take out the crap cut that shit out Henry oh that actually brings me quite nicely onto it we're in vision as well today so this is quite helpful but I brought in the socks that got gifted to Henry that says

beep them out very very nice gift but why have you got them and not Henry well I wanted to show people we're in vision now so we can show people things so yeah I'll give them to you later Henry how are you I'm better, thank you.

Yeah? I'm better. Because last week, you were getting better. Yeah, I still don't know if I'm fully better, but I'm better. I learned something really interesting about you, actually, at cricket on Saturday. Because you've had this parasite now for going on 10 weeks, yep. You have to rate your poos.

I don't rate them. It's not like a game. Do you remember when you were younger? And it'd be like, send a tick for a rating out of ten. It's like you and your poos? So I'll give you a bit of context. So I have to speak to my doctor every single day now because this thing's just not going away.

So I have to let him know what stage I'm at with my deposits every morning. Five pounds. And he's taught me the actual medical terms for it. So there's a thing called the Bristol Stool Chart. and now I've now learnt what type 1 is through to type 6. Have you got that chart on your phone? Yeah, it's saved on my favourites on my websites, which is quite embarrassing really. Yeah, that is.

I have to say, you've got a bit of colour back. Put a bit of slap on today. Yeah. I know we were going to be on camera. So you're still really pale. I think so. I still look a bit waxy, but... You look so much better, though.

Thank you. It's amazing what makeup can do. I know what, looking fake all the time can do. How are you? And good, I'm over my tonsillitis. Good. So yeah, I feel like I'm back to my best. But I'm still a bit flat about cricket.

Yeah. Because I'm not at my best with cricket. But we've got a game tomorrow. We don't know the team yet. Yeah. You know what? It's going to come out midway through this podcast. Yeah, we'll get a text, won't we?

We'll be like, oh, Al, you're doing the drinks. Yeah. But I ended up, after saying I wasn't playing. You played? Ended up playing and doing all right. Yeah. So I was really aware on Saturday when we played our last game for Thunder that if I wasn't fit enough to play,

you didn't if you weren't fit yeah so if i didn't play i wasn't we were going to put another batter in whereas because i was fit and i'm i was always playing are you sure yeah because then danny collins got dropped for you probably not the time to talk about this like on a podcast i'm really confused right now well i was really well i was really well because i was quite poorly on friday night again that if i didn't play it might really jeopardise your place in the team so i'm going to turn up I'm going to make sure I'm going to make sure I'm fit to play. Because we can only play together. Only, yeah.

Okay. Not what I was told. Right, well, that's embarrassing. Anyway, we go again tomorrow, turn up then. Yeah, I'll be ready. You better be there. I'll be ready to play. But yeah, we had an unbelievable game of cricket on Saturday, didn't we?

Well, no, it was really bad. It wasn't. We've got points on the board again. Yeah, yeah. We've got two points now. No, we've got three points. points now. Two for the draw, one for the rained off. Whoa, I did not know that.

Riefer. Still bottom of the table? Probably. Yeah. But no, it was all right, wasn't it? We turned up. We were going really well again. Typical middle order collapse. Need to talk about your dismissal. It's not funny. I've worked really hard on my bat in all winter. What's the point? And I've scored two runs. Yeah, what's the point? I've scored the same amount of runs as I have games played this season.

And you're in a round time. If I'm not playing, you're not playing. Maybe if you did six months on your batting. I didn't get out at the weekend, Chrossey, you did. Oh, you didn't actually, you batted really well. You batted well with soap, didn't you? Yeah, so we had this middle order collapse, which we need to get rid of.

If we stopped doing that, we'd win more games of cricket. And then we should have lost, then we should have won, and then we drew. Well, we played, came off for rain, so then it went down to a 45 over game per side. and then it was getting really close so Duckworth Lewis was always we were either one ahead or one behind and it was like that the whole day

and then it was absolutely pitting it down and we stayed out and Izzy one came out and she's like undoing a glove she's taking her time it's really really clever for her thinking because they were ahead on Duckworth Lewis at that point and we were like and I was like okay enough's enough enough now Izzy get on with it

you've wasted enough time after this ball we're probably going to go off she got out but you were then ahead and we played through the rain Yeah we went off for less rain earlier in the day but I think it's one of those

that because there was going to be a result it was really clear there was going to be a result we ended up staying out for those three overs when it was raining and we probably shouldn't have done

but anyway we ended up with a drawer and so I've got these neighbours who don't know much about cricket and you fancy one of them don't you? We'll talk about that in a minute you really fancy one of them

I do I really do You remember when we used to play the game, like, who would you take on Secret Crush? Yeah. I'd take him on it. Yeah, nice. Anyway, so they know nothing about cricket,

but they saw that I was going to play cricket the day before. And then I saw them the, well, I saw one of them the following day. And he was like, how did you get on? So I was like, oh, yeah, we drew. Played six hours of cricket and we drew. And you could just see the confusion in his face. And I was like, it doesn't make sense for anyone who doesn't know cricket. Well, it's actually called a tie, isn't it?

Oh, is it? Yeah. It's not draw. Yeah, because drawing. like when you draw it's like the test match draw when you tie it's when you're on the same amount of runs which is what happened a bit of cricket knowledge coming from you that's not usual yeah there you go um so i want to talk about your dismissal cross-heap

because erin burns nice lovely ball on off stump hits off stump you get bold there's a brilliant picture which i'm going to get up right now because i forgot that we're on camera and um the utter confusion on your face when you get out I think it's that one there. You're like, how, how? So I'm stood on off stump. I've taken an off-stump guard to an off-spinner. I've gone to Defenderball, which was straight,

so technically I should have covered it, and it bowled me. Yeah. And I didn't understand. So you came off the pitch, and you were a bit gutted, because you actually said you were going to get 100. Yeah, I did.

I fell 98, run short. Yeah, you put your bat in the bin. I did. And then you asked them a lamb to go and check your dismissal for you. And she said, oh, have you not seen it? You went, no, no, I've seen it. I still don't know how I'm out. She came out and she went, you just played the wrong line of it.

Yeah, so I effectively missed a straight one. But like I said, I've done all this work, and we're trying to take my bat in so much more seriously now, and I've got out twice trying to defend. So I think I'm just going to full send it tomorrow. Crossie, you are the only person that hit the first ever six in the hundred. What are you doing, defend, in it? Yeah.

But we had loads of time to bat, and I've got to thought, if I don't, if I get out here, then it's going to look bad. I went out to play with like nine overs left I was like what is going on I know but yeah my bat my bat is out of the bin I wasn't sad and I wasn't mad

I was just like and I just thought my bat needs to go in the bin tactical timeout yeah and then Dee Dee came up to me at lunchtime and she was like ask your question so I was like yeah sure Dee

she was like is that your bat in the bin I was like yeah it is she went you're gonna need that you're gonna need that so someone took it out I think actually

chalky Craig White our assistant coach was like, oh, look what I found and took it out of the bin and he's like, yeah, I'll use this. You then blame me for your dismissal because I picked you back for you. Yep. You said one or two and I said two. You said two. So my fault.

But we're on the up. We're on the up. We're on the up. So we've lost, lost, rained off, Drew, tied. Tomorrow is the day. The win. Just going to check if the team's come out. No, not yet. Yeah.

While we're on our phones, have you got anything on you sticking out? Yeah, have I. I have I? I don't know, have you? Um, I've got you fancying your neighbour. Yeah. And you have to take your shit to the doctor every day. And as you're walking out the flat with f*** in one hand,

keys locking the door and the other, you bumped into the neighbour. Yeah. I did. I'm really nervous. I hope he doesn't listen to this. But yeah, I do. I've got this real crush on my neighbour. He moved in in January.

She found him online, having not known his last name. It was great work. Can we cut that out? I was still shaking his head. Okay, so yeah, I really fancy my neighbour. And I messaged him the night before and I was like, I've not seen your phrases. Have you moved out?

Bear in mind I've been battling with this parasite, not really been feeling like I'm at the top of my game. Certainly not like in the flirting academy at the minute. No. A bit of time out. So I texted him like, that scene for ages. Anyway, we decided me, him and his neighbour and Phoebe, my house mate, are all going to go do a pub quiz at some point.

I can hear the nerves. I feel sick. I feel really sick. And then that was that. So we sorted out going to this pub quiz and then I went to take my feces to the doctors like I have to do quite regularly at the minute. So I thought I'd do the sensible thing and you have to do it into a test tube. It's got a little spoon on it. So you put it into this test tube and then I like wrapped it up in toilet roll and then I thought

I'll put in a sandwich bag just so it's not just me carrying a test tube of poo around it's in a sandwich bag and as I've come out of my door I've literally bumped into him

like scared myself like yeah poo in hand in fact I've got a little picture of me because I was so nervous at the time I needed to tell everyone I think I've voiced noted you

didn't know yeah you did you did so yeah I was in here I am this is me with what type was it that day it was a four that day actually it was a good day

but yeah I was like what is the irony like whoever's writing this love story for me whichever whoever's got this either Satan or Cupid I'm not sure but literally they're writing this story and you can't I might imagine it I want to be him and you be you Hi Crossie I've seen you for a while

He doesn't talk like that What's he taught like? That's my man voice. Okay, right, I'll just pretend that you sound like him then. Are you crossy? I've not seen you for a while. How are you? Yeah, I'm okay. How are you? Yeah, I'm good. You look like you're in a bit of a rush. Where are you going?

Which is not what happened at all. Taking my shit to the doctor. I didn't tell him. He'll never know. Well, he will if he listens to this. You then proceeded to get to the hospital and the receptionist. It's like, Hi, Crossy, nice to see you again. Do you know what's really embarrassing? The receptionist's husband is a big cricket fan.

And he's going to know as well. Everyone knows, though, because I've talked about it on this podcast. But yeah, it's just, I'm going through a bit of something at the minute, and I just really didn't need to bump into the neighbour at that point, and I did. One day you'll be able to tell him why you were so weird. Yeah. That day. I hope not.

When you're getting married, there's no secrets. Have you got anything on your little sticky note? I don't want to talk about anything anymore. Yeah, I do. This is not an embarrassing story, so I'll talk about it. We were in the gym on Sunday. We were doing our recovery after our game on Saturday, and a man came up to us, and he said, I'll love the podcast.

Yeah. And you didn't hear him, did you? No, I ignored him. Yeah, you ignored him. So I was like, oh, thanks so much. And then he came up to you a little bit later on, and I was like, I think, you know, didn't quite hear what I said earlier.

I just wanted, like, you know, I love the podcast. And you were like, I don't want to sound rude, but you don't really look like I were standard person that does listen to the podcast. When you think of people that listen to this podcast, just think, when you're at home now, just close your eyes and think of a type of bloke that we'd be listening to No Balls of Cricket podcast.

This guy was not the one. He was 40, he was buff. He's quite fit. And I was like, oh, what you're listening to? And he was like, actually listening to Cross's Diarrhea story while watching you both. the gym. This is not to say, by the way, that anyone at home isn't fit. We're not saying

that. I'm sure you can be fit. But he wasn't your typical cricket fan, I don't think. No. I was very pleasantly surprised. It was just a nice little, nice little moment that we had that you ignored. Yeah, it was quite rude of me. I've got nothing else on my sticking out. I've got one of the thing that we got sent a lovely letter, which I've brought in to read out to you today. It's not an email which I actually thought it was a really lovely touch but it does explain why it's not an email so I'm just going to read it. It says Dear Kate and Alex

I'm writing to tell you how much the pod means to me. Why are you always first? I was going to say alphabetical but that that's not right. Do you know? Maybe I'm the favourite. Maybe I'm the fan phase. You are. You definitely are. It's really inspiring to watch you play. I know that most people email him

but my dad told me to stop. After sending two emails and you mentioning me in the Battle of the Spuds episode with my poster he told me not to carry on because you have so many emails the pod has really got me into cricket there's no cricket club in my village so i found dynamos you get to pick your shirt number and i pick 16 and 65 you've really helped me through school i take my no balls bottle to school and it reminds me of your wonderful podcast it feels as if i have two friends that i can't lose especially when school gets tough i feel i can rely on you to produce an excellent pod each week.

I find spelling and writing really tricky and I remind myself that when I get home I can listen to an old podcast and I start from the beginning so I'm not a psycho. But my granddad eat some weird things like coleslaw and mackerel in a hot cross bum. What? My sister will eat mackerel in an apricot.

It's really taking a you turn this letter. It has changed, yeah. I'm sorry, it's a long one and I have just realised I've not used paragraphs. Love Charlotte, age 10. Oh Charlotte 10 Can I have a look I'm really glad you read that out

Yeah Because I'd have really struggled It was well Charlotte Please don't ever stop emailing us No we need the Yeah we love it We need the emails So tell your dad to do one

And email us next week please On no balls podcast at BBC.co.com dot UK No balls podcast at BBC.combe at UK It's so good They said it twice Thank you Charlotte That's really sweet A lovely personal touch

We used to get gifts and letters All the time to Old Traffeting You've stopped for some reason you lot Well they might not have done we've just maybe not checked the post. We did get some socks for it, haven't we? Yeah, that's true. Let's put in his thumbs off.

Have you got holes in your socks today? No, he's not got holes in his socks today. Have you got anything else? No, but we've put something out on Instagram and Twitter, haven't we? Yes. Yates. We have. We decided yesterday, the chat outlines were brilliant last week.

They were so good. Love them. You've used them all this week, actually, haven't you? I keep going to people. Chatting them up. Do you want to go on Twitter or you go on an Insta? I'll go on Twitter. I'll go on Insta then.

So we put Village Cricketers, send in your funniest stories of the season so far. I'm telling you now there's got to be some belters. There is. I'm actually going to start off by one I got sent personally. This person saw it on social media and sent me a voice note. And I asked permission and they said I can play it on the. the podcast. Hi Kate, Alex, huge fans of the show, huge fans of the podcast. Absolutely love what you do. I saw your Instagram asking for village moments and one that came, a jump to

mind straight away for me. My friend Alex plays. She's a good player. Really good bowler. What's it done? What have I done? For anyone who doesn't know, this is Hen Cowan speaking. Two fingers. Big fan of the pod. not the best she wouldn't mind me saying it not the best batter or fielder in the world so she works very hard on it once upon a time she was playing a game that was actually being televised and someone I can't remember who one of her teammates kind of worked really hard to keep the ball in play kept it in the field um field of play from the boundary sponge and then

Alex picked it up with her feet on the other side of the boundary up for one foot at the Immediately, I'm doing all of that hard work and giving the opposition four runs. So deeply village. Deeply village. Yeah, that was an international game against India. You're bowling. I'm at short fine.

The ball goes past me, obviously. Anya Shrubsoil runs. She does a full-length dive. Brilliant bit of work, Anya. And I just pick the ball up and throw it back in, one foot either side of the rope. Yeah, you really did. And I think that was the last.

time we played international cricket together for reasons unknown yeah it's hard to know what happened there i don't know why i lost my job i've got no idea i just thought that i'd set the tone for this kind of village thing we're looking for thank you crossy thank you hen do you want to go well the railway duck said every game's been washed out can it stop oh that is annoying that's it is that the only one you've got no i've got loads but your turn I had an under 15s game once and after we lost a couple the players just drove off.

What? That's all I've got. Gareth Duck, actually. Is that the same guy? No, this was the railway duck quack attack 23. All right, well Gareth Duck says, yeah. Three Sundays into the cricket season, three washouts.

Fourth Sunday comes around a beautiful sunny 21 degrees on the coronation weekend. of course we've got no picture scheduled. It's this weather's annoying isn't it? Liam went to Vipers versus Western Storm and it got rained off but a crow killed and ate a pigeon. What? That's all I've got.

That's all you've got? A crow killed an eight a pigeon. There's no more detail to it. Oh, fans are odd. Dr. Declan Ryan PhD. Go on, what's it in? Social prescription. Community physical activity doesn't say. Old cricket club

chairman, here we go. The opening batter was run out without facing a ball at non-strikers end after the bowler deflected a straight drive back onto the stumps the first over of the match. He did not bowl. Thanks for coming. I mean my village cricket is basically my batting at the minute, very village. Someone actually tweeted us just saying thunder cricket was village enough to be the response. I know who this is without looking. It's a guy called Martin. He gives me stick. He trolls us a lot. Every day. Joe Platts had to move his car midway through and over

because it was blocking a delivery but he bowled a double wicket maiden Well I mean fair That is village cricket isn't it When you literally go off the pitch And no one says anything Yeah This is Dan Youngman

Went to the club Sunday morning Found the only available parking spot Always an error There's a reason it's Yeah Spent an hour filling in rabbit holes Before all the games were called off

Went to the pavilion Got drunk and walked home walk to the club to watch the Sunday 11 didn't move the car make a mistake oh no smashed is windscreen windscreen window screen

window screen or windscreen it's a windscreen I only learnt recently it's called a side screen and not a side screen oh yeah you call it a side screen side screen can be the side screen

And someone was like, it's probably you. It's got a sight screen, yeah, to help you see the ball. Cricket's funny, isn't it? There's a piece of equipment to help you see the ball. I mean, if we're going to break cricket down. No, I don't think we've got time for it. You throw a hard rock at someone who hits it as far as you can, people chase it and then throw it back at them.

Stupid game. Silly game. Any more? There's loads more, actually. the whole team being bowled out for three and the other team scoring a four off the first ball. Oh no. Oh, it's a stinker.

Game delayed. Umpire went to the pub between innings, not returned yet. Unbelievable one. I sent that to my brother because it made me laugh so much. The umpires just cleared off to the pub. That is so village. I love it though. I'm so obsessed with club cricket at the minute.

Yeah, I am. I really like it. Sorry, just... touch the microphone. Club cricket has blown my mind and there's a couple in that room next to us. They turn up every week right and they hate every second of it

and then after the game they're like same again next week lads let's pay our £15 subs who's on teas and then they're like oh what a game of cricket I hate it! And people like that work nine to five jobs Monday to Friday so they've only got two days to really enjoy themselves

and they spend six hours of it on a cricket pitch hating it and then finishing having a pint and go see on Saturday, lads. See you next week. And they pay you to do it? Weird. At least we get paid. Well, yeah.

I'm a volunteer sometimes. Sometimes you do volunteer. We've had an email that says Village Moment. A guy called Adam kindly filled in one day when we were low on players. He borrowed some whites and they were too big for him while chasing a ball to the boundary. His trousers fell down and he tripped over. Can happen.

Our overseas signing scored 221 not out and took three wickets on his debut. The whole team was bowled out for 200. Gosh. Another email. Hi, both. Not Kate and I like. Hi both. Love the award winning podcast. We've not even mentioned that this week. Oh my God. We've won two awards, which is why we're in this nice studio. BBC remembered about us. It's the best cricket podcast in the world. We are. We actually went with producer. Henry for a little coffee before this, didn't we? And he said that. He was like, you technically are the best cricket podcast in the world at the minute. Well, obviously. I hope you both feeling better listening to the latest episode while working a night shift

here's a village cricket story to make you laugh and or cry in July last year my twins last day of year six at primary school was on the same day as their birthday there was a celebration on the village green

and someone set up a game of cricket my son was facing and I was one of the fielders my son whacked the ball into the beck which is a stream apparently I went to retrieve it and decided to jump the back

I've done this countless times in the past without issue so I jumped the beck, slipped and shoulder-charged the bank. After 10 hours in A&E, I was diagnosed with one fractured humorous bone. That's my upper arm. Bearing in mind, I broke a tooth playing cricket at school 30 plus years ago. I have now officially retired from playing cricket before I do myself another injury. Love the award-winning podcast.

I thought I'd mention that again. Looking forward to the next shambolic, hilarious, eye-opening episode. All the best. Carl. Your son's going to remember that for the rest of his life. I've never heard of a beck. Does that mean they're in a posh part of the country? I don't know.

A beck. Just call it a stream. Hi, Kate and Alex. Shock, Kate and Alex. Oh, it says hell. Kate and Alex. Get them and say hello. Hope you well.

I'm long-time listener, first time emailer. A really village cricket moment that happened this season is that I got a hat trick in our second game and our first home game. A record attendance of 10 people turned up to watch this. As I took a specky catch to my left, one-handed to take my hat trick one of my teammates came running in from

Fine Leg once he reached me he slipped he slipped took out three of my teammates and the umpire do you know what it doesn't surprise me that he slipped because it's been so wet thank you and good luck for the rest of your matches in the hay hell thank you we need it Alex

we've just roguly gone upstairs there without telling anyone who we're with no we haven't because we've got three emails here that we can go upstairs with now. Who do you want to go upstairs with? Well, we sacked Anna Harris last week. Yeah, she's in the bin. With my bat.

You sure turn to pick. Um, okay. Shall we... We've not been upstairs with two for a while. Okay. Johnny? Yeah. I do miss Mr. Woofler. Remember when we said we'd get him on the pocket? Can't, I can't. I'm too embarrassed. He actually asked when he's coming on as well.

When I saw him at game, I can't because I fancy you too. much. Wow. Big, baggy, flamboyant, luminous green, pink and yellow shirts. Brill creamed hair, boy band style. Levi's denim jackets, whack on the cologne. Welcome to Belfast

1997. Not just any old part of Belfast, but gay Belfast. It was electric. There was semi-naked guys dancing in cages. Every cell in my body was just lit up. Sat at the bar was Darren Bradshaw. What happened next would go on to threaten peace in Northern. Northern Ireland. One of the few gay police officers in the country shot dead.

Someone had told them that Darren Bradshaw was going to be murdered. It's a story that's never been told before. For his own skin, he traded Darren's life. This is blood on the dance floor. Listen now on BBC Science. Daniel's been in touch. Sue, by the way, we're upstairs with Sue. Hi, Kate and Alex. Alex mentioned having a McDonald's.

with Anna Harris at Fairbreak. Do you have to be careful about spending time with umpires as you could be asking for favourable decisions? Do you slash Anna have to report it to the ECB so that it's all above board or are umpires trusted to remain impartial? Thanks Daniel. That doesn't, we don't have to tell anyone

we're having McDonald's with Anna Harris. I did try and flirt with her on the cricket pitch. I stuck my ass out and was like, Anna, is that middle? She was like, Alex behave. The good umpires in the business are just, they'll see what they see on the cricket pitch and they'll give it out or not out based on that. You don't mix business with pleasure, do you?

No. You don't. Except us on this podcast and we often go upstairs without favour. But no, you don't have to tell UCB anything, but you're allowed to be friends with umpires. Because otherwise they'd have no friends. Well, not in cricket. No, not because of their personality types or anything like that.

I mean, yeah, they wouldn't have cricket friends. I love Anna Harris. We did something charitable for Anna. You gave us some clothes for the charity. Didn't. Oh, I thought you should be flirting. Do something nice. Didn't.

Hi, Alex. Yes. And Kate. I've listened to the interview with Catherine Siverbrun, and one thing struck me that was omitted from discussion. Isn't there a huge doubt that she would have been selected for the upcoming Ashes series, question mark? I wonder if the retirement has actually been prompted

by the realisation that Catherine is now not an automatic selection. It raises a wider issue of the greats knowing when to stop and those that are in power, not taking the easy way out by selecting them when there are other options. KSP is an undoubted grade of women's cricket. Her legacy is formidable, but should she have played in the last T20 World Cup? This is not the email that I thought it was going to be. Her performances would indicate she should have been dropped.

It's taken great courage for her to go before she was left out. This will definitely help Nat play unfettered, I've heard that word, by the uncertainty of whether Catherine will be selected or not. been a KSB has been outstanding and now England has to move on without her. That's Patrick from Canada. It's a big opinion coming from Canada. It is. It is.

I don't really know what to say. Patrick's given us his Skype address if we want to give him a Skype. No. That's a throwback, isn't it? Skype. We Skyped when we first did the podcast. We Skyped Glenn, didn't we, to do the Glenn Maxwell? There was no such thing as Zoom because it was before COVID.

Yeah. We didn't know it existed. Are we going to try and dissect this? Yeah, you go first. Thanks. But I wasn't listening. I was reading a chat upline. Right, good.

Should she have gone earlier? Well, he said should she have played in the last T20 World Cup? Yeah, she absolutely should have done. She's our best bowler. She's proved that time and time again. And when Catherine's on song, she's world's best. It's just, everyone's allowed a bad tournament. Do you know what?

I saw that video clip of that. Was he a basketball player or something? Or an AFL player. Yeah, I saw that. And he was, someone was like, do you see this season as a fail? Because they didn't win the championship. And he was like, did you get promoted at your job this year? Yeah.

And the journalist was like, no, and he's like, well, then have you failed? And I thought that was really interesting because athletes are expected to perform time and time and time again. And if you don't win a World Cup, it's seen as a fail. But each individual has different targets. And yes, you wanted to win the World Cup, but you were never favourites. And Catherine is in, was in that best 11. Yeah, she was. And I think for her, I think she's earned the right to go out on her own terms.

And if we had won that World Cup, there was no doubt that she probably would have retired that evening because that was the fairy tale finish. But that didn't happen. And she's had to go away. She went to fair break, didn't she? She played over there. She had to reassess.

And her decision has obviously, been made and she now feels that she can't progress any further with international cricket. Really sad she's not had one last dance though, isn't it? At home in her home ashes as well. I'd have wanted to stay around for that. It sucks to be you, Kathy B. You always just put dampener on things, don't you? He was talking so

well about that then. I'm just joking. But you know what? I think this is a really good example of how easy cricket and sport and professional sport is when you're not involved in it. A really classic case of it that she should have just retired like, all the last 20 years, you know, she should have just finished before a World Cup.

She did a really good interview with the ECB. It's on the ECB website, and I would advise you from Canada. Patrick. Patrick from Canada to go and listen to that, and she speaks really well about why she played for so long and she wanted to go out while she could still provide for England

before she dropped, basically. This is a weird one, Crossy, but I know you're in the One Day Squad, and the test squad. Do you think it helps you at all moving forward maybe in T20 cricket? Because she's obviously retired from test cricket, unofficially retired from ODI cricket. There's an opening.

Yeah. Do you know what? When I was about 25, 26, I remember thinking, I need Catherine or I need to retire here. And it felt like we weren't too far away from Catherine's retirement at that stage. I was thinking like another year and I'll hopefully get the new ball for England. and fast forward five or six years that's like how resilient Catherine has been

and how much she's worked hard to keep her place in the team she's only just retired and now I'm at a stage where I feel like I know nothing is given in sport but I feel like I'm quite cemented in the one day team and possibly the test team it's hard to say because we only play one test every year or whatever yeah but you got that seven for at men's club cricket years ago

so very good at Red Bull yeah that is so true But I think, I guess I've not really thought about it in too much depth, but I guess that does mean that someone will need to open the bowling in the T20 team now. And that's something that I aspire to do. I'll tell you what it does do without putting too much pressure on you because, you know, what will be will be. Someone is going to have to step up and fill that place.

But it's also such an exciting time for you lot as an England team to be at because we've seen a lot of people retire. You know, if you look at that 2017 World Cup winning side, it's completely different. There's like one or two people the same. And it's ever evolving. The T20 team is different to the one day team, it's different to the test team.

I don't know, it's just an exciting place to be at, especially moving forward. I think the thing that is a certainty in all of this is that I am one of the more senior bowlers now. So you've just had two very senior bowlers retire in the last 12 months and you're going to need someone to step up into that role. And, I mean, for Catherine, she was so good in all formats, which is why she was able to have that role as, you know, leading the seam attack in every format.

That's probably not something that I can quite do in T20 cricket yet because I've only played seven T20 games for England or something. But hopefully my experience in the other cricket that I play might allow me to do that. And you're playing for a different team in the 100 You know You're going to the Northern Superchargers Ew I'm like that

Ew disgusting You're going to the obejeans No but in all seriousness You've been picked up as one of the best seamers In the world top pick Go and show them what you can do Yeah so maybe So watch this space

I think it's really I think it's just a difficult question to answer Because you We don't even know what the Ashes squad is yet No I'm at the minute just really trying to fight a parasite to play for my regional team regularly so I don't even know

Okay let's not put too much pressure on you Okay But I want to see you in every format Okay Because I like commentating on you And we need a new intro for this podcast Yeah yeah we do We actually do

Maybe you commentating on me Yeah Well we tried it in New Zealand and I stuffed it up Hi Kate and Alex Recently received this absolute stunner Of a chat up line And it relates to your chat up about pre-season being better than actual games.

Kate, are you from the UAE? Because I'd like to buy you a drink. That's a good one. I like that one. Good there, isn't it? Do you remember when we were actually in Dubai and we went to a bar? And when we got there, some guys tried to chat us up and it was the most offensive thing was a third.

Well, yeah, we turned to this bar and we're waiting for the girls to get in. And Corona for me, Corona for you. And the guy goes, I've got a rule in this bar. I was like, oh, really? What is it? And he goes, no ugly girls allowed. So can you leave, please? And I was like, pardon? He's like, would you like a drink?

I think I'm all right. Thank you. I think he tried to chat us up and he actually really offended us. Yeah. So. He didn't buy us a drink. It was basically like that chat up line last week saying, you're not the prettiest girl in here.

here, but I'm the only one chatting to you. I want to know if people have used these lines and if they're successful. And I want more sending in. Yeah. There probably is loads more that we've not even touched on. Yeah, it must be. You got anything else you want to talk about? It's been a bit intimidating in here.

Can we go back to being on the sofa of our phones? I haven't listened to last week's episode because I'm too nervous too. Why? Because I talked about not pooing myself. And this week I've talked about walking around with my own poo in my own hand. But this is where you're at in life. Next week, you might be doing... solid

type six no no type six is what I was doing type ones okay you might be you might be doing type one and you'll be back to your best and we'll be talking about how excited we are for the women's ashes to start

we should start talking about that soon yeah we'll get some guests on six weeks we'll get a guest next week actually we'll do a guest we are due a guest don't forget to no ballers on emails what

emails Podcast at dot go. You say. No Ballers. Don't forget to email us on. No Bowlspodcast at BBC.co.com. Noblespodcast at BBC.com. It's so good.

They said it twice. That was really good because we got that in twice this week. Yeah. And we've won two awards. We have. It's so good. They've done it twice. Nearly.

Thanks guys. Bye everyone. Happy pooing. And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Partly balls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six. Why is it called a smart speaker? Because it's smart. You ask it to do something and it'll be done.

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