Test Match Special - No Balls: The Cricket Podcast. Washes Wash-up and World Cup quarantine

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

England Kate Cross is in quarantine in New Zealand ahead of the World Cup and Alex Hartley is in Melbourne recovering from commentating on a rollercoaster Women’s Ashes. They review the series and ask if England can beat Australia in their World Cup opener in March. They also answer your e-mails and there’s some revenge among the LBWs.

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. To embrace the impossible requires a vehicle that pushes what's possible. Defender 110 boasts a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms, a weighting depth of 900 millimeters and a roof load up to 300 kilograms. Learn more at landrover.ca. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Hartley falls down the track come scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six.

Hello and welcome back to No Balls, a great podcast with me, Alex Hartley, and you, Kate Cross. Hello. UK. I'm good, thanks. How are you? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. Actually, I'm exhausted. Because you've been training, you've been to the gym, you've been a little athlete again. And honestly, I've put this podcast off for three days now and I can't put it off any longer. Yep, so here we are. We're back on the old Zoom. We're back on terrible Wi-Fi. How mad though, right? So we got to New Zealand yesterday. Obviously, travels from Australia, so not a long trip, not horrendous. I am in isolation now for 10 days and I'm in the same room that I was in a year ago.

How mad. Are you sure? Absolutely positive. It's the same room. That is so weird. And I'm definitely positive because I saw Lisa. So Lisa's a couple of rooms up from us, came out of my room yesterday and was chatting to her. And she's like, mate, I'm in the same room I was in last year.

I was like, no Lisa, you can't be because I'm in the same room I was in last year. And you weren't in my little group. Do you remember they put us in little bubbles that we could train in? And Lisa wasn't in my group. And she was like, no, mate, I'm in the same room. And I was like, at least you're not. You're absolutely not, I am. No, you're really not because I actually am.

So you've got a balcony. We probably had this conversation this time last year, but we'll go again. Do you know what? I'm going to have a little rant now. Second time we've had to do in isolation on a cricket tour, half the girls and staff have got balconies. Half the people don't. And I just don't get it.

It's not fair. It's not right. If you've got to do 10 days isolation, you should absolutely have access to a balcony. My word to you yesterday was it's inhumane to keep those people locked in a room for 10 days without fresh air. Well, they've got windows that they can open. So they're not going to suffocate. It's not the same. You're right. It's not like when you put a glass on a spider.

Honestly, I'd be fuming if I didn't have a balcony. So I am very, very grateful. But I'm just, I think because it's so chalk and cheese with where the UK's at, obviously we get in the news that a lot of the COVID restrictions are going to be gone. if they're not already gone. And then you come here and it's like it's gone backwards again. Yeah, someone was telling me that like it's very much, if your mask is under your nose, like they shout at you over there.

So I had to do my PCR swab this morning and they come around and you've got to put your back against the wall. Like you're not like to look at these people in case you give them COVID. And I had my mask on and I pulled it down over like so you can see mouth and nose. And she was like, no, no, no, no. Cover your mouth. Cover your mouth. Like it's just, it's so precautionary. And I get it, I fully get it, people have passed away and it's been horrendous, but two years on, and nothing has changed here, and it's mad.

But please don't go on and tell me how bad the 10 days is that you're doing, because I've got to do it next week, so come on, it's fine. So I'm actually looking forward to seeing how you cope with this, because you've not really done any kind of isolation, have you? And to be fair, I've not done any. I've not done any hard quarantine. This is the first hard quarantine where we're not. we've not got access to a gym or training facilities or anything. So I'm kind of excited in the nicest possible way to see how you cope with this. No, grossing. Like, I was thinking, like, it would be fine.

Like, it will actually be fine, right? Do you know what I was thinking of? When you actually got COVID and you were staying in my flat, remember we had that debacle when I was in London, you were in the flat. And after two days, you're like, I need to go to my parents because I can't deal with this. I can't deal with being on my own. And you were actually, you were poorly. yeah so me like just being me on my own it'll be fine i've got i've got a week left in melbourne

and i'm going to enjoy the freedom enjoy it well you can because we were actually going to record this podcast on my last morning in melbourne and then we realized it's my last morning of freedom for 10 days i don't want to be sat indoors on zoom because i'm going to be doing that for 10 days yeah so we were like let's just go for a coffee at a walk inside so we know this podcast is very very very late late. Not like us. We're normally quite good with that. And we also promised Henry that we would be in a quiet environment. We messed up last time, didn't we? Because the emergency podcast was so emergency that we didn't know where to record it. And we put the laptop on top of a grid, not realizing that there's water gushing around underneath it. And you couldn't really hear what we were saying. no so it was an emergency silent episode but that's okay well it was an emergency noisy episode it was it was not not our best not our worst not our best we've never had we've never really had a telling off from the BBC and that was the first one yeah it was a really polite one though

henry was like can you just if you find somewhere nice and quiet and then it'll just take me four hours less to edit it that'd be great it was really polite yeah now my air on I'm worried that it's too noisy so I'm just going to turn it off okay nice there we go six minutes in and how are you and we've just been rambling yeah are you okay yeah I'm I am it's been it's been it was a tough couple of weeks obviously results didn't go our way in the ashes washes and it's one it's typical you finish your tour you stop you stop thinking about cricket and you realize how tired you are and all I've done today is sleep so literally woke up had our swabs had breakfast fell back asleep had some lunch fell back asleep so yeah I'm good I'm all right it yeah it was just tough

um how's the hand because I swear to God you actually you've hand fell off like the whole thing came off and went under your body and it was horrific to watch and you've definitely broken your wrist right talk you through it you know what I'm like with these injuries as well, I only ever go to worst-case scenario first. So I'm running from mid-on. I dive because I see the ball, is going to go for four. I think, right, pull out a specky stop. Do that, but in the time I'm doing that,

I'm like, oh, my hands point in the wrong way. That's not okay. And as my hands point in the wrong way, I hear two cracks. So I think, like, you saw it. You saw my reaction after it. I just led on the floor, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm going home tomorrow, I'm out of the World Cup. I've broken my wrist.

my fingers are definitely not meant a point towards my feet whilst I'm going the other way. Like, it was, it was just all a bit, eh, ah, uh. You're also, you're catastrophized, don't you? I think, I do, but I also think it was fair in the moment. I think because I saw what happened, if I'd not seen my hand, I would have been a bit like, oh, that hurt, didn't sound great, like, must have got it caught. But I think, because I physically saw my fingers pointing back towards me, when they really shouldn't have been

so anyway I yeah I'd rule myself out the World Cup I then bowled the next over because why not I was like oh it's moving it's fine it went for 12 really I need to speak to our physio actually because I was really really in hindsight

thinking he should have just pulled me off the pitch at that point and let me calm down because I was in a lot of shock and he said to me afterwards he said oh you've got a bit of colour back in your cheeks crossy I was like what he went yeah you're white as a ghost when I came on that pitch I was oh oh no I was like you like yeah shock I was like I should have just come off the pitch like take in a minute but anyway like we had a scan and somehow miraculous or it's easy for me to say miraculously the injury fairies have been with me for an injury and they've let me get away

with one and it's it's fine like I've stretched my tendons it's fine I can't believe Your wrists are stronger than your ankles. Well, that was really the silver lining of it all. When I was like thinking about it the night, I was like, gosh, really, my wrists really have put my ankles to shame here because this is what it should be about. This is how strong they should be. Yeah, well, strong wrists were weak ankles because you did your ankle standing on a sponge. You put your whole body weight on your wrist and it's fine.

So if my ankles, if we liken them to a rich tea biscuit, then I've got like hobnob wrists. Oh yeah, with chocolate and caraville. Yeah, they'll have a real sturdy biscuit, a real sturdy strong wrist. However, I do have to, well, I've got 10 days of rest now, which is good. 10 days in isolation, rest in my wrist. Keep it moving, though. Keep some exercises going. Got to keep it flexible, yeah.

Got to keep it moving a little bit, but got to rest it. Before we talk about what you're going to do in isolation, shuffling your iPod, why don't why don't we do a quick round up on the washes yeah we need to don't we yeah um I want to ask you a question

okay so Heather keeps saying you went toe to toe with the Aussies did you is that a leading question no I want your opinion I genuinely think at phases in different

parts of different games we absolutely did we challenged them we stood up to them we dominated them at some parts of it but the bits that we got wrong were matched definingly wrong yeah so when i think when heather's been saying that in the press i think she's likening it to the 2019 series where we were so far away from them that it didn't look like we could win a game but now yeah okay i genuinely believe if we play our best cricket on our day, we can beat that team. Yeah, I think you can as well. And also, what has been really good to come out of this ashes, washes, is your bowling unit. Oh my God, crossy, your bowling unit, I reckon could be better than theirs.

Yeah, I think that as well. And it's the frustrating thing about cricket, isn't it? You can get one half of it right, one half of the game right, and you can get the second half not right. and it just almost like puts the first half to bed like it doesn't matter. Like we've got to play together as a team and we've just not quite been doing that yet. And I said on my, I posted a picture the other day on Instagram

and I said the worst part about that ashes for me, who ashes for me was that we didn't play our best cricket. But in a way that's the most exciting bit because we've still not peaked and now going into a one day world cup where we've played the toughest opposition in the world as our preparation probably lost a bit of confidence

because we've not had any results but we've also played the toughest opposition in the world going into a World Cup so it's the best preparation we could have as well literally the best preparation because had you had you'd have played three ODIs against South Africa, Pakistan, Sri Lanka you wouldn't know where you needed to get better

because you'd probably just dominated yeah and yeah I think that obviously not taken away from any of those teams but we're probably expected to win those games whereas we're never expected to win against Australia and we haven't done we're not daft we know that we've not played good enough cricket to win

but there was just glimmers of us being really really good and capable of defending that World Cup I said you would lose that last ODI which you did but I wouldn't put it past me to win the first World Cup game against Australia not at all I think World Cups are just different as well because every game is a different opposition every game is a different challenge whereas in an Ashes series you're playing against the same players.

I spoke about it at the start when we hadn't played all the T-20s we were meant to but we hadn't quite had that narrative of the ashes yet where you've got those little battles of like Catherine bowling at Healy like that hadn't happened

and you don't get that in World Cup cricket because you never play the same team twice so there's always like I said to the girls the other day like we just need a win we just get a little win under our belt we get our confidence back we sing the team song we remember we're not a bad team we've not turned into a bad team overnight

you know, we dominated our summer in England and it's just confidence. Cricket is just confidence. Yeah, momentum as well. You win that first game. You don't, you do win that first game. You know, 2017 didn't win the first game, won the competition.

So you don't have to win that first game, but I genuinely believe England can win that first game. Yeah. And I think as well that, I mean, we played an Ashes series over three weeks. We started every part of the series on a Thursday. So there was no respite in between. And that's sometimes a good thing.

if you've got the momentum and it's also a terrible thing if you've not got the momentum. So the fact that we played, you know, all of that within the space of 21 days, it was quite novel to us as well. And you add that on to the preparation that we'd had, which wasn't great, the isolation, the COVID, the restrictions, everything like that. It does all add up. I'm not making excuses, but it does all add up. So I think Heather even said in one of her interviews at the end of the third ODI that it was a tired performance. Was really tired. There was, there has been, one amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing thing to come out of the washes, crossy. Is it the fact that everyone was using the hashtag washes?

That, okay, there's two amazing things that have come out of the washes. That, which we started. And the second thing, you. Like, genuinely, just you. Me and my hobnob biscuit wrist. That, and the fact that you're just so good at cricket at the minute. I'm just so good at cricket at the minute. Like, it's so good to watch, and you just, like, clear.

in Meg Lanning up, snicking people off, getting people LBW, like, it's so good. Yeah, I mean, it's nice to be talking positively about cricket for once, isn't it? Do you know what, Eisha actually interviewed me on seven cricket the other day, pitch side when I didn't play that third ODI, and her and Alex Blackwell were in the studio, and Alex was like, what is it? Why are you being, you know, why are you getting success at the minute? And I said it was down to two things. one of them is the behind the scenes work that no one sees

you know how much I've put into my training and like I've been drilling my action and strengthening my action and drilling it and drilling it and drilling it and drill it like every single game I drill my action because that's my warm up now my repetition of doing that has made my action more consistent which means I bowl less bad balls which means I can build more pressure which I've actually spoken to you about in the past

of like my job isn't to take wickets in this team no it's to build pressure for out the middle phase yeah and that's i do that and i think now people now don't try and go after sophy so i'm getting a few more rewards because they're just defending sof but the second thing i put it down to is just how much i'm enjoying cricket yeah makes such a difference and the girls who did so sutherland and timac talia did their interviews at the end of the ashes and both of them said that they both said how much they're enjoying the cricket and they're both having success as well like i think it there's is definitely something in it and we spoke about it haven't we it's so hard to just enjoy something

to just say oh i enjoy it and you'll do better but i genuinely am really enjoying i'm enjoying the challenge of it i'm enjoying how hard it is i'm enjoying like fun on the pitch with the girls every single photo i've had from the the games have been just me smiling or laughing or you know enjoying it so there's definitely something in that as well it's just how you create it is quite difficult. And while we're big in you up, we might as well say congratulations on the bowling performance of the year. Thank you. Yeah, that was a nice little surprise. How good's that? I only saw it because your brother tweeted it. I was like, oh my God. Yeah, so I found out about that, about a week, two weeks ago, because H, two fingers came up to me. I was like, you need to do an

acceptance speech because you've won an award. I was like, what? How mad? So I did my little acceptance speech saying thanks to everyone thanks to heather for nearly dropping that fifth catch and giving me my heart in my mouth moment um but yeah i think it yeah it's just nice it's nice i guess nice to be recognized for stuff but i also really don't like how nice you being to me so can we move on how are you like how are you how did you find your first ashes mashes washies experience an emotional roller coaster like really really was an emotional roller coaster in what way because there would

like I'm an England like cricket fan again like when I lost my job there was a phase where I didn't want England to win because I was so bitter about it whereas like now all I want is for everybody to do well and everyone to win

and to watch you get into good positions and then collapse and then get into bad positions then get back into winning positions I just didn't know how to cope with it all and like I'm exhausted well same as us I guess Like you finish the tour and you stop and you realize, don't you? How tired you are.

But I guess that's something you're going to have to get used to as a commentator is like the emotional roller coaster of it all because you now can't help in any way, shape or form. And I reckon that's harder from being a past player. That's harder to regulate. Yeah. And this is going to sound strange. But during that test match, when we were ahead of the rate,

I was so much more nervous commentating because I couldn't control it. than I ever have been playing. And same with like the ODIs and like, I don't know, it's just a really weird position. And obviously when you've lost games you have, I have to criticize you, which I hate because I don't want to upset people. But then I know it's my job.

They know it's my job. And if they take it the wrong way, that's on them, not me. And it's just, it's really hard to like actually get your head around to do it professionally and be fair on everything as well. Yeah. That's all that people will ever ask of you, though, is just to be fair about it. If there's something to criticize someone for,

and we're not daff, we know we're going to get criticised for it. I think as well for you, it's hard because you've got mates in this team, haven't you? Like, you've got mates that you've played with, you've got me, you've got Sof, you've got Emma Lam now. Shout out Emma Lam,

Camma, what a beauty. Bless her though for getting... Congrats. Yeah. See, like, and then me, I was like, look, that was a decent ball. It did knit back a bit, but she has to keep that out as an opener.

And I know she's on debut, and I know she's nervous, but that's not good enough. And then I felt really bad. And then she didn't really speak to me the day after i was like did she hear me oh my god she heard me i don't know if she did she's definitely not mentioned that so i'm assuming she didn't hear you yeah but i but i was like i totally get it because it's a debut like oh my god like everyone i don't does anyone ever perform on their

debut uh i picked up a player at the match performance on my debut right course she did let's drop it in there anyway so just to keep everyone updated don't know why you wouldn't be updated because if you listen to the pod you probably follow us both on social media but washes is finished you're still in australia you're traveling to new zealand in about a week's time to do your isolation to then commentate on the iccc cricket world cup women's odi games i'm already here that was terrible i'm already here i flew into austria no i flew into new zealand last night we are doing our 10 days and then we'll play some warbub games and our first game is against Australia on the 5th of March.

I think it's the 5th. We'll clarify and let you all know, but if not, just Google it. And I'm really excited because when I get there, we've got a day crossover in quarantine, so you can help me on my first day because it'll be your last day. Yeah, you said to me the other day, you're like, I'm so gutted that you're out of quarantine when I'm in it. I was like, why?

And you're like, because I'm going to need help. I'll send you a crossword book. Thank you. Thank you. I'm hoping, do you know, when you had a little phase out of the team in Canberra and I sent you some goodies. I'm hoping you'll do the same. Yeah, we'll see. You don't want to, you don't have a week in isolation then. Yeah, true. It's Valentine's Day Monday. I was like, should I send Crossy something for Valentine's Day?

What? Just to be like, hello, hope you having a nice day. Please don't. Here's some flowers. Please, no, I'm pleased, though. against it. Anyway, right, let's move on. Do you know what?

This is just giving me a serious throwback to, though. This specific environment, being on FaceTime, doing our chat, doing our podcast, this is where we recorded the infamous Sue Redfern episode. Is it? Yeah. That makes sense, you know, because it was like a year ago, a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. So I think it's only fair that when it's time to go upstairs with anyone,

we go upstairs with Sue, because it's been our anniversary. Oh, shall we go to say? is it soon now then? Well, I was just quickly going to ask if you've got anything on your sticky note. My God, it's been a 23-minute introduction. Sorry, everyone, but we have done the washes round-up, so we don't have to speak about that ever again. We have a podcast. No, nothing. The last thing I've got is booted out the ground for sitting by a window, but that was a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, and we spoke about that on the last pod. Okay, so I've just got a few things, but we'll be able to quickly go over them. So my brother messaged me yesterday, and he said,

I need some clarity on the podcast when you record it because apparently on the last episode I said that when I faced that last ball of the test match Sophie was at the non-strikers end with her eyes closed looking at the sky and he messaged me and I just want you to explain how that is possible. Right, yeah, that is very true.

Obviously, Bobby, I meant to just open your water bottle. The leftish water bottle in the world. It's really, it's really squashy. It sounded like crackling. Yeah, go on. Obviously, I meant she had a head to the sky with her eyes closed.

She wasn't looking at the sky with her eyes closed. Yeah. So just a bit of clarity there for anyone that was confused. I reckon there's only one person that was confused. Second thing, it's quite a funny one. So I don't know if you notice, but we all got brand new test hats for the test match. Yes. So before we flew out to Australia, H2 fingers messaged the group and was like,

a bit of a weird one, but I need you all to measure the circumference of your heads. So we're all like, is this a wind-up? I was going to say it's got a bit of wind-up. I just got out my tape measure, and I actually got like one of the proper ones, not the hard one that you have to, you know, that you do walls with that then like is square. Stay still. Yeah. So I actually got a proper measure.

What do you call it? I don't know, got a proper measure. It's like a tape thing. Tape measure that like a tailor would use. So I'm measuring my head. Yeah, tailor measure. Use that. Yeah.

So I sent my number back to H2 fingers. I was like, my circumference of my head is 62 centimetres. So that was that, sent off. And then about an hour later, they messaged me back. And they were like, I'm really sorry to have to question this. And it's a bit embarrassing for you. but your head was significantly bigger than everyone else is in the squad

so can I just double check that you measured it correctly so we had to put it above our eyebrows and make sure you could fit a finger underneath the tape measure so that it wasn't like dead tight on your head so I measured I did it again

but I videoed it and sent it to H and I was like just double check in and it was 61 and a half this time so I think I was right the first time so statistically I have the largest bont in our team.

Well, that doesn't surprise me because your head next to mine always looks so big. It really does. And it does surprise me though because I don't think I look like I've got a big head. You don't look out of proportion. Yeah.

Sophie Eccleston, one of the smallest heads in the team, wouldn't believe it, would you? No. No. So this is obviously then men when it comes to hat stacking, there's a bit of a problem.

Yeah. Because I stand at mid on or mid off, So I'm a, I'm a hat stacker. I'm a, what would you call it? I'm the, you're the hat rack. Yeah, I'm the hat rack. Brunty, don't know if you saw this in the second ODI, might have been the first ODI, had to leave the pitch

because I broke her one day hat. No! So she bowled it over and then had to leave the ground to go fetch her second ODI hat because I'd worn hers. and she also statistically one of the smallest heads in the team and then I ripped it at the bag and she was like crossy I've only got one left you've got to be careful so I was in loads of trouble

broke her heart I wondered why she went off I was like she's gone for a wee it was like it's really sturdy material too and I broke it because my head's so large than everyone else is so you and Catherine actually had a photo shoot together to try and get your heads to look the same size. Yeah, so we had to do that thing where it's like spatial recognition.

So I was like stood three metres behind her and our heads were the same size. Nice. Anything else are you sticking out? No, that's it. That is it. Okay. We should definitely do some emails because we've done 30 minutes. Yeah, okay.

So we're going upstairs with the infamous Sue. Yeah, we have to, don't we? It's been our anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. would you like to go first? Okay, I've got one here and it says hi, Crossy and Alex.

First up, how are you? We've done 30 minutes of that so we don't need to answer it. It was great listening to the recent tail enders and no balls podcast. We've been listening for a while and just wanted to let you know

how much we appreciate the pod and how much it means to us and others. So keep up the good work and we thought we'd email you some questions that you two might enjoy answering. So who out of the England women's team and you can answer some of these because you still know everyone.

Who at the England women's team is most likely two. Number one, have the worst or best taste in breakfast cereals. Sophie Eccleston. Sophie Eccleston. Remember when she found like less sugar cocoa pops and she was absolutely buzzing about it because she could have more of them. She was like having two bowls of no sugar cocoa pops compared to one bowl of sugar gopomopo pops. Genius if you ask me.

Question two. Who's most likely to spontaneously get married in Vegas? Oh, Maddie Villiers I was going to say Maddie Yeah, I could see Maddie doing that Do you know why? Purely for the fact that she was going to be a rep in a beefer Yeah, yeah

Who is most likely to adopt a guinea pig? Uh, Sophie Ecklestar I don't know Who's an animal lover? Is it dunks that's got loads of animals? She's got a dog, hasn't she? Yeah.

A strange question. because why would you buy it? You'd just have a guinea pig, wouldn't you? We used to have guinea pigs as kids. You adopted a warty pig. Or maybe you? I did. I did.

No, no, I don't like guinea pigs. Who is most likely to cry after dropping a catch? Well, I'm going to say, I was going to say the obvious one, but having recently dropped one off her future wife's bowling, that was probably one of the easiest catches that she might get in a career. I'm going to say, Natsiver. Oh, my God. I love the fact she just played dead.

She pretended like it didn't happen. The bitch is brilliant, isn't it? Yeah, I've made a giff of it, and it's so good. And then Catherine, like, just stares at her, looks at her and points at the boundary and, like, dismisses her to the boundary. She's like, get out of my sight. I heard everything that got said in the exchange, and I'm not going to repeat any of it. Oh, no, was it really bad? Yeah, yeah.

I was like, wow, lose an ODI and lose your wife on the same. day in that. Can happen. Question five, who's most likely to be seen up a tree? I have no idea. I know that one because someone recently fell out of one on this trip. Somebody fell out of the tree? And lost her sunglasses in the process. Emma Lam. Katie George. Oh!

Who is most likely to wear their England kit on a night out? No one. No one does that. We're not... actually one of our rules is you're not I had to have any alcohol whilst wearing kit. Oh, okay. So no one. Who is most likely to become a footballer? Ooh, no, I would have said Fran Wilson, but she's retired. Mm.

And you know what? Nat's her as good at everything. Yeah, Nat's a good shout. So I'm going to say Nat. Maddie, Maddie would be up there. So would Sof? Sof loves a football. Wouldn't be you?

Oh, not me, no. No, not me. Although I have been given the most improved on this trip. Everyone said I've got better. Well, that's good. So have your toeblower on toes not quite as pointy anymore? No, my lettuce foot has gone somewhere.

I don't know where it is, but it's gone. It's not in your wrist. They've sent a load of other questions as well, but we need answers from people. If I asked Sophie a question, Danny a question. So we might have to wait until later on the podcast. But thanks a lot. Love you, Jim and Jonesy,

aka Jemima and Katie. Hi, Kate and Alex. You often describe the part as a shambles, but producer Henry did say on another part, that you are quite professional. I reckon you do a lot more planning than you let on, rather like a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they think they riff off an hour or anything without any planning,

but actually it's a finely honed act that they spent hours and months to perfect. So which is it? We probably do do more than we let on, don't we? Yeah, but we really, we've not planned this one at all. No, obviously, because we've introed up for 30 minutes. but I think we care about it but it's just we just make rogue decisions like put in a laptop

on the hottest day that camera's ever had on a grid the laptop we didn't even talk about that the laptop like set on fire turned itself off it was that hot it's just we're just a bit shambolic in that aspect yeah I mean I've not got a microphone again

no and you actually could have plugged the microphones in but you were too exhausted you said yeah from the gym hi Kate and Alex love you both Amy Jones needs to wear the low-rise version of the England kit although the third umpire would have given the benefit of the doubt to the batter and there was obviously more than a waistband of doubt in that decision but as someone is keen to state 33% of all full tosses take wickets right

so based on that if a random bowler called let's say Alex Hartley bowls 30 full bungers she will end up with 10 wickets and the innings will be over in five of her overs maybe it's worth a go what do you both think well it might help I still maintain I'm the only bowler never to get a wicket off a full toss though yeah I think because we speak about it and you specifically speak about it I think people are aware of it yeah so therefore every time I bowl a full toss which is never because I'm a professional

you just ball the drag you just bowl the drag down down leg side yeah oh what shambles I had a net actually yesterday cross it and I was good Yeah, best went fresh Like, got in the car Kirstie Gordon brought me home And the first thing I said to her I was like, how well did I bowl tonight? I bet she was like, all right, mate

Yeah, she went All right, mate, calm down Going back to the Amy Jones waistband thing Obviously that was Can we say a controversial decision? No, it was a no ball, it was the wrong decision So, I think that just highlighted to me we've got all this technology, we've got all this capability of seeing where the ball could land

if it would hit the stumps, use it, use it for those decisions, because... Literally. Why would you not? It's so strange, isn't it? So strange. Hi, Kate and Alex. Longtime OG listener, second time emailer. I had to email to say thank you very much for the test match. I am a proper cricket badger and love all cricket, especially the women's game, but that match was something special indeed.

I'm writing this over 12 hours after the test match has finished and I'm still on a high buzzing from listening to that. Kate, how you stayed so calm and collected in the middle for those last 13 balls, I have absolutely no idea. I was all over the place simply listening so being out there must have been something else. Alex, I absolutely loved how passionate and in love with the team you were on the radio.

You were portraying exactly what the rest of us listening were feeling. Never give that up. You are both role models for everyone that loves cricket. it. If I ever have a daughter, if they ever turn out to be half the role models you are, I'd be so proud. Oh, stop it. Oh, no. On a lighter note, what is lightly battered chippy tea? Surely, fish is just battered. No idea if it's heavily battered or lightly battered. Yeah, you can get a lightly battered fish.

Do you know what? I'm not sure I have ever heard of that. Have you not? Yeah, you can get a lightly battered fish. It just means less, just live. there's literally less batter on it, so it's not a massive thick bit of crust. Yeah, fair enough. Whilst we're big in each other up, hi Kate and Alex, for what it's worth, Kate, I'm incredibly proud of your performance with bat and ball. This is for the first ODI by the way.

And Alex, I can't begin to imagine how it would have felt commentating on crossy batting at the sharp end of the match. Go well next time. Lots of love. Shui Shang. Nice. Well, Crossie go well next time. Thanks, mate. Hi, Kate and Alex.

As a cup carrying, long time listener, I feel the need to put your feet back on the ground. ground there has been far too much loving and wonderful comments about the pod so the pod is mediocre at best p s i don't mean it i don't mean it it's for pod purposes anyway my question kate spoke of her sadness with her performance in the test based on how the scorebook looked her team knew her contribution but the scorebook didn't reflect it a number of times she's discussed how her role in the team isn't necessarily about taking wickets she's not an enforcer but a controller So, as international athletes, how do you measure individual success?

Do you have set goals against the game plan? And is it based on you adapting to the situation in front of you? Thanks for everything you do. Phil the Lancasterian in Yorkshire. Yeah, I mean, we get measured on. So each bowler that bowls, we all get measured like the areas that we bowl and a certain number of percentage balls in the right area. So mostly hitting the stumps, you know, you want to be up at about 70, 75% of that.

We get dot ball percentage. We get measured on that as well. how many dot balls were bowling, which we've actually bowled a hell of a lot in that Washes series just gone. Yeah. Like each power play was like 45 dots, which means there was only 15 balls

that anyone was scoring off, which was crazy good. It's because you bought 42 of them in a 10 overspill. But I actually was more frustrated with the test match because I did neither. I know I had dropped catches, so I know that that's out of my control, but I was actually going at fours for most of the test match.

So I was frustrated because I was doing neither because I was having a ball go for a boundary most overs so that's why I was disappointed with that but I think you just like you kind of get to a point where you know if you've bowled well you know if a good ball's got like Healy

in the second ODI came down the track and whacked me for six over mid-off and that was a tick ball for me that was where it should have been but she created something and made something else happen so I think you just kind of get used to knowing what's good and what isn't good

yeah you do and I always think like I would just try and hit the stumps. That is my job with hit the stumps. Make the batters, make the mistake. They also say, P.S. I've just had my kitchen done. As a bread knife cleaner who puts the toaster away in a cupboard, I would have invited Kate to cut the ribbon if she wasn't in Australia.

Imagine. Hi, Kate and Alex, and any guests you may have today, sorry we've not got a guest. No guess. But we might try and get one for next week. I came across your pod recently through the Nauty Child podcast, I love it. I never really watched cricket before but ended up watching all of the washes. So thank you. My question is, how much support is available for professional sports

people around their mental health? I'm a psychotherapist. Psychotherapist. Yeah, that's right. I'm a psychopath. I'm a psychopath. I'm a psycho and I have never heard so much about therapy or counseling in sports, so wondered if it's promoted or encouraged as much as you think it should be. Also, I'm a pro brushing my teeth pre-breakfast. You can do it straight afterwards, but you need to do it as well before the day begins. Take care, Jen. So they are a psychopath because they brush the teeth before brecky. Yeah.

Yeah, we get loads of support now, especially with these biosecure COVID bubbles that we're flying in and out of. A lot of wellbeing, a lot of welfare, a lot of planning as well because you actually don't know how you're going to react in, say, there's 10 days of isolation, I think I'm going to be all right, but you don't know how it's going to affect you. So, you know,

we've got a psychologist who's traveled around with us and put a lot of stuff in place before about routines, plans, how to deal with it. And also, like I spoke a little bit after the test match about that emotional regulation that we're not quite used to, like doing a lot of work with someone on that

and how to move on and especially in a World Cup when you've got games coming thick and fast and you've got to be able to analyze and move on. like we do a lot of work on that kind of stuff too and then you pass it all on to me so you never listened you never liked going to the psych did you

you always thought it'd mess with your head yeah and it always like I remember like obviously not seeing the psych at all through the 2017 World Cup drop that in two fingers that's the second time you've mentioned it today it's because you're about to play one so it's going to get mentioned a whole lot more

brilliant and then they wanted to see me the day before and I was like, nah, you're not asked to see me this whole trip while I've seen now. It's just another cricket game. Yeah. And this was the game that you vomited before you went out to play. Because I was so nervous, yeah. But had I seen the psych, who knows where I'd have actually ended up, might have been better, might have been worse, probably would have been better, my own fault. I think it's about having a relationship with that person to know that they're trying to make things better for you. I think if you're like guarded against that person,

and you're not going to get anything out of it. Yeah, yeah. And I never let those walls down. No, never. Not even with me sometimes. I'm fine, I'm fine. Have we got time for one more? Yeah.

We can do some LBWs. Right, I've got one here that looks quite good. Hi, Alex and Crossy. Used Alex's first name, but used Crossy's nickname to balance it out. Aussie cricket fan here in Melbourne. Love the podcast and been listening since you first came onto the TMS pod feed. First off, the test match was brilliant. Can't wait to see the ODIs at Junction Oval.

Kay, we're a little bit behind. Listening to you guys on your emergency pod, plus on tail enders and Alex on TMS, it struck me that I now know a lot about what the thinking was like in the English dressing room and in the culture around the team, but that there's nothing similar coming out of the Australian dressing room. So it led me to wonder,

do you think the Aussies are listening to your podcasts? Nah, surely not. I don't think they are. I don't think they finish. a game and all sit around in a circle and listen to our podcast. Well, then they go on to say, if so, do you think it's giving them an advantage because they know what's going on inside your heads? Or do you think it's giving you an advantage because it shows what a supportive and honest culture you've got amongst your team?

I think if they were listening to our podcast, they'd be really struggling mentally and they need anything to help them because this is a shambles. I actually don't think we gave much away either. I think we literally, yeah. and it was all in hindsight anyway. It wasn't like I was out there doing a live broadcast about what my plan was and oh Meg, keep everyone off the boundary because I'm not going to try and go for the win.

I would love that. Maybe one day. Maybe instead of doing a live show like we're planning that probably will never happen, we'll just do a live cricket game. I tell you what I really want to do. I want to wear the mic, you know, that's like Danny Wyatt and Tammy wear.

Obviously I can't because... Yeah, why did you not? I can't run in and bowl with it on my back. It's like, it makes you look like a hunchback, doesn't it? Oh, is it a big thing? It's big and it's, I think, bowling, spinners do it because Glenn Maxwell does it in Big Bash, doesn't he? But I'd love it if you could ask me questions whilst on that microphone.

Yeah, I'd be like, crossy, what'd you have for breakfast? Anyway, that was from Angus in Northcote and he says, Keep up the great work. Lovely, lovely. Are we going to do a couple of LBWs or should we save them? I reckon let's do a few. Hi. My boyfriend listens to your podcast and loves it. I'm sorry to say I don't listen, but only because I don't watch cricket yet. But I do love the name of it, so that's a start. I'm writing because a few months ago my boyfriend threw me right under the bus by writing in about my little bit weird. Yes, I am the one who takes her shoes off. Only if they're easy to slip on and off, might I add, in restaurants. I'm very clean, so my feet don't smell. I just like to feel comfy. But enough about. me. My boyfriend's, oh, I love this. Oh, this is revenge. Yeah, same. My boyfriend's

LBW is that he is so weird about Tupperware. He gets uncomfortable if I use Tupperware to take things I've baked to my friend's house and triple checks before I leave the house that I'll bring it back. He tells me to make sure I immediately move my food into their Tupperware so I can bring ours home. I, of course, don't just want to give away our stuff, but I feel a bit awkward could give my friends a cake and then immediately demanding my Tupperware back. So as soon as I'm through the door, I'm sure they'll give it back when they're done. We've got lots of Tupperware and it's really cheap, so I'm not sure why. Surely his plastic hoarding ways are weirder than my cosy feet, thanks Jordan.

Very good. People do get funny about Tupperware, but I can see why. So my mum and dad always, always keep my grandma's tupperware and then like give it back a year later. and she made my dad what's the thing that you make at Christmas and it's like cold custard Angel Dwight

No, it's got like fruit in it as well Anyway, she made like this dessert I don't know what it's called Cranberle No I'm going to Google it I want to know what this is Cold

Custard Oh is it the one that you can get from the bakery? An egg tart? No, no, but he does like an egg tart. It's like... I don't know then. I don't know. I don't know. I'll figure it out. Anyway, she made him one for Christmas and she makes it in like this single-use glass jar and she brought it round Christmas Eve for him so you can have it Christmas Day and all he did was take that dessert and hand back the one from the year before. Well, I'd be fearing if I was your grand because that sounds like really good a real good bit of apparatus yeah it's like this glass thing

that's beautiful showing i did wonder if i'd put that other one for i was like i'd do i get it i'm quite funny about like if someone if someone did that for me i'd be really conscious that i need to give them their tupperware back but a lot of people buy more expensive tupperware than me because i'm quite cheap about it i'll just get the ones from tesco that are dead cheap so i actually do sometimes steal someone's on top of where it's better than mine if it's got the clips on it they're great yeah they're a good one to keep on me whereas us like i i bought us from amazon it was like five pound for 50 and i was like whoa what a treat and they break every time you use them yeah they do hi alex and kate have been listening to the podcast for a while now convinced that

it's one of the best out there i fear however the enjoyment of listening to you has been the cause of some rather worrying LBW-like behaviour on my half. I am an Aussie, UC and of course a cricket lover. Must congratulate UK as you bowled so well during the recent amazing rest between our great countries

with no look at all. I think rest might mean test. Towards the end. Yeah, I think it and for once that's not me reading it wrong. Which leads me to my concern. Never have I

sat and watched on the edge of my seat desperately wishing for one of the old enemy a pom to take a wicket, an unfamiliar feeling of goodwill towards an English cricket team. I'm also realising it may have run over into my reactions during the matches as well. Very disconcerting. I feel I definitely need your advice, ladies, this is too much. Should I be removing the corrupting influence of nobles, the podcast from my life? No. Absolutely not.

John, right, just because you now want England to win because you feel like we're friends, that's fine. We can be friends. John, sport is all about the people in it. Results aside, it's about the people. You follow people on Instagram because you like them. You follow football teams or cricket teams because you like the people in it. If you like us, support us.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Therefore, I'm supporting Sri Lanka in the World Cup. Right, I think we need to call it a day there because we definitely run over. Don't forget to email us on. No-Bulls podcast at BBC.com.com. No-Bulls podcast at BBC.com.com. It's so good.

This is definitely not going to be in time because they've said it twice over a crappy Wi-Fi. Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks, everyone. See you soon. Happy New Year. in the first over. It's what England we're looking for. Hartley Falls. Down the track comes scoring. This time she connects. It's either six or out. It's six.

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