Test Match Special - No Balls: The Grade Cricketer come to play

Episode Date: July 13, 2025

Alex Hartley & Kate Cross are joined by Sam Perry and Ian Higgins, who you will know better as The Grade Cricketer.The globally known podcasters join Alex & Crossy to discuss the Women's Ashes, how the podcast came to be, and the differences between grade cricket in Australia and club cricket in England.Plus, do people actually know their names?

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you're getting a fair exchange rate with no extra markups. Be smart. Join the 15 million customers who choose Wise. Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and Cs and Cs apply. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Al. Crossy. We've got in trouble. Why? Because we've done a naughty episode of the pod. Yeah, is this our swear warning? It's a new swear warning, a special swear warning, but we've got two very special guests on this episode.

We've got Ian Higgins, Sam Perry's. And to everyone who doesn't know who they were, like us, they are the grade cricketer. Fruity episode. Goes off in different directions, like all our episodes do. That's not new. It's the shambles. It's the shambles.

But yes, this is your new swear warning, but do not worry because... We beep it out. So your kids can listen. enjoy cross comes in round the wicket

oh that's Boulder Boulder leaving a ball alone Litchfield I think it's the wobble ball

and it just nips back it jags back it's the nipbacker that is a beauty from Kate Cross an absolute seed that is a beauty from cross

Hello and welcome back to no balls the cricket podcast with me Alex Hartley UK Cross who is not in the studio and Crossy, we've got some very special guests today, haven't we? We do, we do.

We've been lining this one up for a little while, haven't we? We have, and they are fucking themselves out in the UK media this week, because they're over from Australia. We've got the grade A known as the great cricketers. I was going to say an honour and a privilege to be part of it, but that's a disgraceful welcome, and one that we welcome, though, thanks. It is so wonderful to be here, Kate, thank you so much for making the trip down. We really appreciate it.

We've flown to, we've flown from Australia to be here, but Manchester is obviously a little bit far at the US and London. So, you know, yeah, but all good. No problem at all, guys. Thanks for making the effort to come on our podcast instead of everyone else's podcast that you just... Are you going to repeat? Are you going to keep repeating yourselves on every episode? Or do people just need to tune into this one and they don't need to listen to tail enders?

I'm not here. This is AI. Just for clarification, you've actually had people on your podcast to boost theirs, whereas now you're on a proper podcast. You're on ours. Yeah, that's one way to look at it Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure Yeah, this is all audience renting, yeah

This will be your biggest ever show Yeah, right, right, actually you might gain one or two listeners, we might gain Ah, good, it's all business, it's true, actually No, we understand you're winning out of this exchange But, um, how are you both? Yeah, we're good, we're good It's all, it's awesome to be here.

Like, we love coming, we love coming to London, love coming to England, like we have, um, we have a great audience here, um, we both used to live here, so, you know, classic like Aussie connections to the UK. He goes just played here before. Like my, my little boy was born here. Um, and, uh, there's no better place to be than, you know, London in, in summer. So yeah. Before we get into it, why, why are you here? Because Australia are playing in the West Indies. Yeah, there's, we have, we have no business in the West Indies to attend to, uh, really. Um, no, I mean, like, we'd already booked in these live shows to come and,

to come and perform, um, for, you know, a couple of shows over here. So, I mean, like, we've been very fortunate to, um, build an audience here in the UK over the last sort of We've been doing our show for nine years. And over that time, we've done a couple of tours here as well with our live show. And then I think, like, you can't come here every four years for the Ashes and expect that, like, you know, that's respecting the audience that you've built over the years. So, like, so now's a great time to come over. Our tour promoters booked a couple of venues and we come over. And then it just so happened to coincide with the West Indies and Australian series.

And it actually works out better for us, to be honest, because it finishes at like 10.30 at night here. whereas it starts at midnight in Australia, although the day-night test match coming up is going to be painful because that finishes at 3 in the morning, so that's going to hurt. It feels extreme to have travelled to England to get the cricket at a better time zone.

Yeah, yeah, that's true, yeah. It's not hard when you're from Australia and given every single thing is on when we're asleep. So, yeah, it's good, it's good. It also gives you the opportunity to get India as well while you here, doesn't it? No one's ever said that.

India. Like a couple of Turkey. I love India. Unbelievable. That's what we're all doing, isn't it? That's what this podcast game is. So, no, I mean, actually. What happened to the RCB?

Isn't that a wonderful tournament of the WPL? Grosey just went real quiet. This is why this podcast hasn't been cancelled yet because I just keep quiet and Hartley's the one that says stuff like that. And then it gets edited out and no one ever knows. So it's great. Why do you have framed Rupees behind you? Kate Cross.

No, we, we've done. Heaps into India and then, no, we're actually here to like not to not do that. All of our shows are about England, our English fans. Like, that's who, that's mainly who's coming to our live shows as well. So if anything, it's about like trying not to get sucked into franchise tournaments and covering them all the time. So, yeah. Now, let's talk about Harman Preak core, okay?

Let's talk about what's going on there. You know, it's, you know, it's high energy. It's whacking the stumps against Bangladesh. Let's, let's dissect it. You know, we're here to dissect it. Are we? He goes is taken over anchoring this show. within five minutes.

When we were planning this, I went, crossy, don't worry, the lads will be fine. No, wonderful lady, Harmon Prick. Yeah, and a beautiful cover drive. Yeah. Spirit of cricket. I actually want to know, so you just mentioned you've done your podcast for nine years.

How and why did you start a podcast? Just two sloppy men, you know, who were just trying to increase our sexual prowess and unsuccessful. Yeah, we're through podcasting. No, we, like the great cricketer started. I don't know how long ago now. It must be like 13 years ago with tweets, like anonymously written. And then, you know, a couple of years later, we decided to, like, see if we could explore

it through a book. We were sick of 140 characters. So we wrote a book. We pitched it to, like, 30 different publishers and, like, the very last publisher picked it up. That book ran really well. So we explored the cat. Like, there was three of us at the time, and we went down to, like, a great cricket

ground with a case of beer and just looked at every player and wrote, like, a story about them. and then just plotted it out. It went well. We released our identities. And then after that, we tried a podcast, people like the podcast. So we just kept trying different things. And I don't know, it turns out people like, it just resonated with people because I don't think people had had a representation of cricket, which was like honest about its brutality

and its pain and suffering and the dysfunction of people in dressing rooms and showers and, you know, everything that goes on that, you know, professional plays don't speak about on air. So we've benefited from that. Did you get nervous when you had to come out effectively? That was after the podcast. Yeah, yeah, nice. No, I think there was disappointment from people that it wasn't someone famous.

Yeah. Because when we were doing it anonymously, we were getting like DMs from players. So it was a little bit insidery. And so I suppose some people might have felt that it had to be a professional player to know these things or to be so ingrained in like the culture that it had to be someone that was living it. Whereas, like, people that play grade cricket or just a lot of club cricketers here, like they do live it in the same way. They just are ruining their lives by doing that. They don't get paid for it.

They actually pay to do it. So it's actually more committed than professional players. Professional players will never understand the real experience of grade cricket and club cricket. To have a dream that you never succeeded in, but to keep trying anyway for reasons you don't really understand. Are we going to feel sorry for you? Uh, yeah. Yeah. It's really just been 10 years of therapy between each other.

It's a wonderful friendship that we have. That's what podcasting is, to be fair. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But yeah, I think people were a little bit. Like we were on TV and it wasn't someone anyone recognized. Just at the, we or three of us, yeah, at the time, just three anonymous, average-looking guys. So you just sacked off the third one.

Was he not pretty enough or? I don't think pretty is the word. You can read about it online. Yeah, it's online. Oh, really? There's a legal judgment online. And it's publicly available. Well, we might be a shambles, but we ain't fallen out with each other yet.

Yeah, it can happen, guys, once the money comes in. But I guess, yeah, it's the key word. We're at the BBC, so by people on. Just like the Megan Markle podcast, the power of yet. You guys lived here then? Yeah, different times. So, yeah, he goes played a few seasons of, like, club cricket here, which is great for the experience.

In a few books we've written, he goes, has done chapters on playing cricket in England as an overseas pro. I lived here for a couple of years while we were doing the pod. My wife got a job here. And so, yeah, like for the first few years of our podcast, we were really, like, stitching it together remotely. Like, we were using Skype, you know, like we were literally putting money into the Skype machine

while we were doing interviews with, I remember that happened once. Like, I was living in Highbury, and our Skype money was running out while we were interviewing James Sutherland, the CEO of Cricket Australia. and it was about like a big issue he'd had with the BCCI and I was literally trying to like top it up

while we were chatting with him like with Yeti microphones and like and a very like wispy Skype connection but yeah we just we went through all of that stuff and like now we have better facilities and whatever we're probably better for the run but it was very ropey for a long time have you found it familiar to be fair yeah yeah yeah literally have you found it weird

that people now know who you are like you get people stopping you all the time like that bloc outside lords today Nice shoes. Yeah, but it's sort of drip-fed a little bit, like, because we've been doing it for so long, that, yeah, it's not, it's not, like, overnight, like, recognition kind of thing. It just gets a little bit more every time you, every time a test series comes around, really. So, I mean, yeah, it is weird because I'll tell you why it's weird. It's because, like, it's a very, very concentrated recognition we get.

It's like walking around a lap, like a lap around a cricket ground during a specific test match. A lot of people will know us anywhere else in our lives, very few people. people will know us. So, like, that part of it is weird for sure. And then, yeah, it is weird because at the end of the day, we never achieved our professional cricketing dreams. So to be stopped, particularly with professional players as well. Well, I really enjoyed being your professional photographer during the test championship,

actually. We stood outside for an hour and all I think was take photos of you. Yeah. It's odd. Well, we were with Adam Zampa, Adam Zampa and Reese Topley the other night, and someone walked over and, like, didn't even recognize them and said, can you take the time? They gave the fuck to Reese Topley.

It was the best thing of all time. Topley wasn't pleased. Well, he laughed, to be fair, but he was crying. Yeah. Right, knowing what you've got now and what you've created, would you give that all up if you could go back and be a professional cricketer? Great question. That is troubling.

That's going to hurt me my sleep. So for how long would we be the professional cricketer? Yeah. Like, what's the, I'm not a good career, six years. Six years. Six years pro cricketer. Okay, are we three format, or are we tests or franchise? Do I get a cap?

Seeing as though they're both Frikes themselves out like here You can be franchise cricketers Okay Oh six year franchise cricketer Would I give it out? And you got an international debut as well Oh, okay

Would I trade it in? Well you've done both Like you too have done both Yeah, but asking you the question Yeah, I know But what's it like being international cricketer? Like is it as good as it looks? Yeah, would you trade it in for what we've got?

Yeah I've tried That's right, I've retired. It's not working. Yeah, because we live a very glamorous life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it is really good. It's hard, but it is good.

Do you know what? Like, Pez was talking about when we started, like we were very lucky when we started the podcast. We're much more nascent in the sense. Like, they had existed for a little, like, five, six, seven years. But, like, the expectations of what it's like now to start, you cannot make the mistakes that we did in 2015, 16, that you can now because everyone has high fidelity cameras.

They've got the best microphones. You have to have the best quality sound. Their social game is good. And also when you're doing it, I'm sure you guys, because you guys have busy lives and across you're playing. But like, this is a labor of love to start.

If you're just doing this just because everyone else has got one, then it's not going to go anywhere. Like you actually have to want it and you have to keep showing up. You have to keep showing up your audience. Otherwise, if you're just like lobbing up and you're like, ah, you know, like I've got a profile. I can just talk some for a while. Like people will lap it up.

because I'm a genius, then, like, that's just not going to fly. Like, it's just not going to work. I've seen so many podcasts, not necessarily in cricket, but people of high profile who just do it because maybe they're just looking for a transition post-career or whatever. And, like, people are allowed to get better at things, of course, but it's just so much harder now to start unless you're quite good. And, like, we'd have the support of producers and good quality kit. Like, so many times when we were starting, we had, like, an echo in our apartment

that we were recording from remotely, and we would have, like, duvays over our head to stop The echo, like, yeah. I used to live next door to a Woolworth's. And, like, like, six in the morning. It was a 2019 World Cup, actually. And England had just demolished Australia in the Men's World Cup in 2019. And it was like six in the morning or something. And the Woolie's truck was, like, reversing next to my window.

So I had to have, like, this duvet over my head to stop the beeping of the reversing truck coming through the record. You know, just stuff like that, you know, like, that's because we had our jobs at the time, to be honest. but like, you know, like you have to actually like it and love it. And then, yeah, I guess like now we're getting the rewards because, you know, we get to do other shows all over the world and that's really cool. But, yeah, I'd probably traded in for like three years at RCB. What did you call them there in at BBC? And my dad's respect.

Dad's to come to one game. I feel like our listeners will really resonate with all of that because that still happens now and we're about seven years into this podcast. Yeah, every week my washing machine is on in the background because I forget. And I just put my washing machine on and all my windows open and the traffic's going past. And Jack's like, for goodness sake, that washing machine. But it's sort of become my trademark. He's a good man, Jack.

He's a good man. Yeah, he keeps us waiting. Yeah. Yeah. Keeps us waiting. He out for us before. He did. Yeah.

When? Oh, just before when he was keeping us waiting, like the big alpha Jack producer. He was like, I'll be 10 minutes and that's 25. Doing that to the talent. Like he's got a real job. Yeah. To embrace the impossible requires a vehicle that pushes what's possible. Defender 110 boasts a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms,

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take a detour to southeastern Anatolia and discover more about the world in Turkey. We haven't spoken about this topic on this podcast and I feel like you two being on it would be a real opportunity for us to talk about the women's ashes. I have a few views Oh yeah Ready to go, yeah

The one coming up in 2027 Yeah yeah Not the one just gone Yeah crossy'd be keen I'm sure Well it's all the same More or less isn't it This one last one

The next one Yeah it's fine Did you watch Were you about I don't even know Do you follow women's cricket I don't know That's interesting

The way you think that is interesting So what is the threshold Of like knowing about women's cricket Before you become it is Yeah that's true That's true. But before you become a sexist pig. Look, the way a lot of Aussies enjoy the ashes is like particularly out in Australia,

we expect to turn on the television or open up our phones and see Australia demolishing England. And so it proved. Last time, so Australia is happy. We don't have to go through any reviews or any questions in Parliament about what's going on. Everybody played their roles perfectly from players, both sides, and to commentators. So we were very happy with how it all played out. And I think that's quite reasonable, as I'm sure you guys would be, if you played out that way over here. I think last time Australia was in England, the points were shared, but you guys said that you won.

So everyone goes about it in their own ways, you know. But that makes it, doesn't it? Like, men's and women's ashes, like the locals get right behind them. Oh, for us, I think it's the meltdown that seems to happen when any England team comes to Australia. Like, it's like, I mean, you know, like, it's something happens. Maybe it's the hue of the light or it's too hot or maybe we're just insane, aggressive, ugly, nasty Australian convicts. It could be that as well. Colonials, yeah.

But, you know, like when the coach is talking about surf life-saving, you know, I mean, just lap it up. I mean, it's just, that's Shangri-La. I mean, that is unbelievable. There's a red rad to a bull for Australia that's waking up with that. It's like, I guess we are more athletic naturally than everybody. They've said the quiet part out loud. I guess we are the lucky country. As they said, I can't afford a house.

Finally, England admitted it. Rain's more in Sydney than it does Manchester. I'm just going to throw that out there. All the best, yeah, yeah. Beautiful harbour in Manchester. Well, beautiful walk. Bondi to Kudji, beautiful war. Yeah, it's a breeding group of athletes.

For athletes. Yeah, it's a factory of athletes. Yeah, this is what we actually enjoy. You know, the crickets want, you know, to be fair, you don't really get to enjoy the part when someone's like, oh, you feel sorry for the opposition. Like, that's not fun for anyone. But when the coach starts saying insane things, like,

that's, oh, give me more, you know. I'm lapping it up, like it's breakfast. As an Australian, when you like, there's a couple of different levels of enjoyment of our team destroying oppositions, whether it's men's or women's cricket. So at the moment, the women's team is at a place where they can't really improve on perfect. And Australia actually ends up getting bored with their success. Like, we become bored and entitled and we expect stories like that. So that's where they are right now.

Australia is very happy with it. But what it also means is you've got something in the back of your mind going, when they're no longer perfect anymore, Firstly, there'll be riots and there will be parliamentary reviews and effigies and everything, all of that stuff. But so there is a part in the back of the mind of like when England does manage to turn this around, that's going to be a nightmare. I'll shut myself in a cupboard for several years. You guys will be producing your DVDs and all that kind of stuff and your open top bus parades. And then we'll just come out.

Yeah, OBEs for everybody for Drawn series. And then we'll just slowly, yeah, Homer into the hedges stuff. And then we'll just come out. come back out again. So I'm just trying to give you an insight into the Australian psyche with this stuff. Okay. So when the women got knocked out of the T20 World Cup in the semifinals, what was the backlash at home?

Was there? Or was it just like, oops, we made the mistake. Yeah. Well, we marched on Jolimont, which is just outside the MCJ where cricket Australia is. It was completely unacceptable. There was, yeah. Also, no one was really watching it.

But that's another thing in Australia. Like, if it doesn't happen at home in peak cricket watching time, did it happen? You know, so we do manage to kind of have some dissonance about that stuff as well. We can also separate some losses with like it's good for the game, good for the game stuff, you know, like so when New Zealand win the tournament, isn't that good for the game? You know, in the men's, for instance, well, test championship final South Africa wins, good for the game. You know, what South Africa's been through is, it's just awful. It's actually good for the game. And when South Africa dusted us in the women's as well, it was like, well, it is only South Africa.

So it's fine, you know what I mean? It's not one of, it's not England or India. It's just a nightmare to deal with it to be honest. It's a nightmare for us. Well, our venture, like, the grade cricketer actually has, like, there's a massive correlation between Australian cricket crisis in men's or women's and our success. Like, people tune in to hate watch us all the time, particularly when we lose. So, you know, sandpaper was the best thing to happen to the grade cricketer. Oh, really?

Was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, like, you know, it cuts both ways. Can I? Bring it back to a series I can talk about. So 2023, how did you feel about how we did it over here where we joined the men's and the women's ashes together to kind of like create that narrative, whereas obviously in Australia, it feels like you keep the women's very separate from the men's with the big bash as well. Like, where do you set on that? I reckon, actually, that the window here for cricket actually feels a lot bigger.

It feels longer here in terms of the public's attention for it. So when I say that, like you talk about like the men's big bash, for instance. It goes for about six weeks from mid-December until the end of Jan. And then the WBL, when does that start in like... November? It starts in October, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, that starts like almost at the end of the football season in Australia.

But it's like, but it doesn't feel like summer yet in Australia. Do you know what I mean? It almost feels like May here in the UK. It's like the warm up. Yeah, like schools need to be off, you know? And like for us, obviously, summer's coincided with Christmas and New Year's, right? So that's obviously a big time off work for people who are. as well, summer holidays from when you're a kid.

So, like, but the, like, that's, it feels too early for the WBBL to be on. And then when they've played, like, the women's test matches, like, the idea is to draw it out, like, into January. But really, the attention for Australians, I feel, like, I don't want to speak for you as well as well as it, but, like, the window is almost, like, the first week of Christmas until maybe, like, the end of the SCG test and the men. So that's, that's, that's about a month. And, like, outside of that, the people that like cricket will always,

tune into all things right but um and maybe cricket's a little bit more broadly followed in australia it's more of a national game here it's pros sorry it's more of a national sport in australia i feel like so i like i really like the idea of it being like more budding heads with each other like you're getting real close to each other to sort of like getting the the australia fans across into the women's or maybe the women's lead into the men's or something however that would work probably the probably the former i think it's awesome i think it's really good uh how england did it here in 2023 yeah you know you get the compound effect of the tribalism between both countries.

I think it's really cool. And we don't like when the Australian women's team is put on the periphery of the season or on the shoulder of the season. You know, Cricket Australia's done well to invest in women's cricket. That's why our team is very good, I think. How did you find the difference, Crossie? With the one that's just gone versus 2023? Yeah, as in playing with the men and then without.

Obviously, I didn't get to play in any of the games in January. but I just remember being really disappointed by crowds. I think obviously MCG is going to be really difficult to sell that out. And I remember when that got announced, I remember thinking, gosh, you've got to get at least 40,000 in every day to make that acceptable almost, to make that decision worth it. And I know that the numbers were really good, weren't they? It was the most people that come and watch an Ashes series ever.

But I just remember thinking, like, Junction Oval for an Ashes now is five years ago. And, yeah, it hosts it great. and Australia won, brilliant, but it just, I don't know, we're selling out, like, lords and things here, and it just felt like it was five years ago, and the Australia team is so good, and going to go down in history is the best that's ever been.

And I feel like they almost need the stage to do that on now. So would you void the series then? Yeah, it didn't count. Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. Back to COVID times, perfect. I think it's also a comment on, like, the size of stadia in Australia. Yeah, yeah, that's definitely part. We have these unnecessarily large stadia, which are just not filled for 90%.

The MCG is different in the football season. That does get full more often. But like, we have, our population is 26 million and we have these 100,000 seat of stadium in every major city. And it's like, and it's filled like once a year. You know, like it's unnecessary. We've got Leicester and Derby, so, you know, no chance. I still think, imagine the test match at the SCG or the Wacker or something like that

where you could have actually had a really close crowd that could have really got stuck into it, whereas MCG just felt just too big. I wonder if they made a mistake with it based on how they feel the MCG in the World Cup, because I think that's the defining moment in Australian women's cricket, and that's the one that captured the imagination of Australians and, like, showed Australians, particularly those who are sceptical about what's possible with women's cricket, what is possible. And I wonder if that might have been part of the thinking that, you know, the ashes will be so big, they can do something special there again.

and the MCG is the place you go to break records. But I agree with you. It can be very cavernous when it's only, like, it's barely partially full. So, yeah. Katie Perry wasn't available for four days in January. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's true. We covered the washies enough for you there, Crossie.

But, yes. Yeah, fact, move on. Let's move on. Right, you're obviously the great cricketer. You started talking about grade cricket. Is there a difference between grade cricket in Australia and club cricket in England? Yeah.

Yeah, big time. What is it? Standard. Great cricket's good. Here's my experience. First grade in Sydney is pretty much county cricket. They call it Sydney Test cricket. Here's my experience.

So I played at the club down in Surrey called Farnham for three years. And my experience there was, it was like the most I've ever enjoyed cricket. And you're actually allowed to enjoy cricket in England. Like people, like, there's something about like the, the richness of a summer, you know, you go through the hardship of winter, the, you know, the 3 p.m. sundowns, that kind of stuff. And then summer comes along and then, like, your life is blooming at the same time. And then we're so happy.

Crick club is about community, people coming down, having shandies watching the cricket, you know. There's a guy called T-Rat. He comes on and he just pays his feet to just eat some Lamingtons at like a tea time, at 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. In Australia, it's be good or f***. Yeah. Like, cricket is not to be in joy.

No. Like, it's to win. Oh, yeah. Frankly, and the attitudes of people, like, I guess, happen accordingly. Like, you're there to win. It's not, there's not really much, like, thought put into how people enjoy this community miracle and to enjoy your afternoon teas and your company and to make everybody welcome and included.

It's like, you just come here and win the game for your team. And that's what satisfaction is. That's what success is. So when English people come and play great cricket, do you think they have a shock to the system thinking they're going on a six-month jolly? Well, well, there's what we like to think and what the reality is, yeah, because like what grade cricketers like to do with any English cricketer that comes over or any overseas player, even if they're like fully professional first class players, he start them in second

grade just to make sure they work their way up into the top grade. I think Harris Ralph, you know, who bowls 150Ks an hour for Pakistan, he went to Western Suburbs Cricket Club in Sydney and they said, you can start in two champions. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what actually happens is like, like people like Zach Crawley and Olly Pope and these guys, just using the male example, like they just roll their eyes because everybody in Australia thinks that they could play county cricket.

It's not true. They're all like obviously excellent players, but we all like to think that we're much better than we are. There's, uh, so Ben Duckett played for a club called Parramatta in Sydney and he was playing in first grade, then the chairman of the club didn't like the reverse sweep and dropped him to twos. This is like 2013 or something. Yeah.

Brilliant. Learn his lesson. Quite a good player now. Yeah. He's done a school of hard knocks at Parramatta. For our listeners that obviously haven't been to Australia and played great kicker over there, can you explain to them how you do it over to weekends as well? Oh, that's one of the worst parts about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. Because you could go like four weeks without a bat, couldn't you? Yep. Yep. Yep. And if you're bad at cricket, you can go a long time.

Well, no, I wonder if you ever made it then. Yeah, that's what it was. It was the format. It was the format. It was exactly. No, so there's, I mean,

there's T20 cricket now, but like when we were coming through, it was like there was, there was two-day cricket and one-day cricket. And mostly it's two-day cricket. So a two-day game is played over two consecutive Saturdays. So you end, you know,

for example, like if you bowl first in a game, and you bowl them out before close of play and you've got to survive 10 overs, you open the batting and you get out, you're just not involved the next week when you come back to resume the game. You have to turn up?

Yeah, you've got to turn up, absolutely. You see it was over in Perth for a couple of seasons, and you see where the lads can play on one Saturday, but then they end up playing the whack of the next week in the Sheffield Shield game, and they get pulled out of the game, so Joe Blog goes and feels like Shaw Marsh's position or whoever it is. Well, don't really know too much about that.

That's the professional era. Sorry, sorry. We get it, crossy. You're good at cricket. But yeah, if you're playing third grade, and at your club is a state player that was playing first grade the first week then they go up into Western Australia

in New South Wales or whatever then the guy from second grade goes and fills a spot to first grade third grade into second grade fourth grade into third grade. Yeah and so like if you were if you were fielding in third grade that week and then you've moved up into second grade

who batted the same week then in the second week they're fielding you've just spent two Saturdays of your life in summer while your friends were at the beach fielding yeah. Yeah to be fair club cricket blows my mind because everybody It's like, pays you 12 quid to go.

Everyone complains about it. Nobody has a smile on their face. They get in the sheds at the end of the day, like, see you next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was brilliant. Yeah. Didn't have to see the wife and the kids all day. Talk to us about some good scores.

What are your highlights from Great Cricket? Highlight. Retiring, stopping playing, the podcast. What do you both do? Your battles or bowlers? I, we kept for a bit. a batter for a bit, or I tried to be anyway. Yeah, I was a leg spinner who then, like, stopping able to do that very well at all and

became a batter. So, yeah. To be fair, leg spin, it's the toughest trade, isn't it? Yeah, there's a lot of pain there. We asked our listeners for questions for you to, and it could be absolutely anything. A lot of people were very excited for this collaboration. They were. It was coming together of minds.

Well, you know. Yeah, so we asked our Instagram followers for some questions. some inspo and Binger underscore 11 has asked, why doesn't my dad love me? I think we've just explained that. Yeah. Like,

because you know, you've played great cricket because it's all you've ever known and you have a deep-seated fear of change and your father's watched you waste your life. And that's why he doesn't love you. Pez, if you could choose anyone's salad in cricket, who would it be and why?

That's, that's, well, firstly, anyone's. To start with, With beggars, can't be choosers. Who has a good salad? I mean, like Ben Folks has a great salad. Unbelievable. Zampa?

He's got a good salad. Yeah, yeah, Zampa. Yeah, anyone, really. Anyone. Jadaja? Yeah, sure. KL's at the minute. Yeah.

KL's at the minute is unbelievable. Kiel, yeah. Oh, right, that's nice. That's nice. Good show. Elise Perry. Yeah. Yeah.

Elise always manages to have good hair as well, like on game day. She just looks good. She's just perfect, didn't she really? She's just a nice. Yeah, annoyingly perfect. Can they rank the top five cricket podcast, which contain an ex-England player, please? Absolutely not.

See, that's your Ashes 23 question. Right there. Yeah, I just sat quietly and let my mate answer it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, definitely have views. But you can't, like a podcast should be like a rising tide floats all boats, you know, like we're there to, provide an alternative to the, like, the stiff, vanilla comments of ex-professionals on TV

who aren't saying what they actually think. So I'm not really going to sledge any other podcast if, you know, if they're out there actually calling stuff out the way, you know, they see it. So, yeah. Um, Higo, how are you traveling so freely after getting married? How am I traveling so freely after getting married? I just, that's a question. Say I'm working by. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've, hardly, I got married in April and I've hardly seen her since. So it's been really good for us actually to have a little break, just sort of a reset that I think we needed. She doesn't know that. The sign of a good marriage. Yeah, yeah. Well, I went to India five

minutes after the wedding and left my wedding wing at the hotel when we were escaping the conflict. But I've got it back. I've got it back now. Did you get it back? Yeah, it had to come to London, I had to go from Amsterdam to London to get here because he can't FedEx jewelry out of India. Anyway, this is a unnecessary story. But now, I think it's going on. Fascinating. Keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Denzo Washington play me in the movie adaption of this story.

Will the boys agree that if Bear Stowe was out in 2023, then Broad didn't hit it in 2013? Oh, well, no, no, no. Those aren't the two options. Whoever's written that as a moron. So firstly, Birsto was out. Secondly, Broad hit it, didn't walk,

and that's awesome. That's awesome. So, like, grade cricket, perspective on broad is absolutely zero problems with that at all. Did you bring it up? No, but we have him for our live show on Sunday, so we were keeping a bit in the holster. But yeah, like he's done the perfect grade cricket thing there. It's a great result, no problem.

Your live show, how's it going? Because you had one last week. You forgot one Sunday. Yeah. I forgot to show up. Yeah, forgot to. Oh, I forgot to generous on you, yeah. You were pretty clear in the lead-up that there was.

It was definitely, it was a 50-50 proposition. That was just a body language read. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll be there, lads. No, but seriously, you've got one on Sunday, when, where, how? Yeah, well, we're playing, that's huge, it's going to be our biggest ever live show. We're playing at... And that's enough for that one, so...

No, go on. We're playing Hammersmith Apollo event on Apollo on Sunday night. So, yeah, there's, yeah, like 3.5,000 seat capacity. It's nearly there. There are a couple of, like, tickets remaining. We'll have Stuart Broad on stage with us. So, yeah, like, extremely excited. It's going to, like, it's really fun.

And, like, yeah, we do podcasts within four walls with each other. We don't really get to see people's reactions to it other than, you know, in cells and comments. And so to do, to do something for people in real life feels very, like, old school and human. And it's also where we can say stuff that you can't say on the podcast. So it's, yeah, like, it's a lot of fun. It's extremely loose and raw We have a few beers on stage He goes as unbelievable

Best format And yeah Then we've got broadies So it should be extremely combative And fun Tohar asked Why are you going on everyone's podcast Has the Indian Money Tree dried up

That's a little close to home Yeah Yeah Too soon What other podcasts have we been on? Well we've just We've been doing so many of our own Yeah we've done ours

And then Like we were on TMS Which is last time I checked Was radio Yeah, what else have we done? And then we had Josh and Roddy on ours, yeah. Who is the biggest rooster in cricket? Question.

Well, I've already said, been folks. Yeah, no, I mean, like, Stoinus. Stoinus. Stoinus is a rooster. Cummins. Yeah, Cummins. Cummins is the apex predator. Yeah.

He comes across very, like, dignified and diplomatic, and he is, and that's part of their brand, but there's a big old alpha sitting underneath there, no doubt about it. I think Shum McGill's got some things going. going on. Yeah. He's got work to do. Yeah, he's got some work to do. You've got a good 11 there actually.

Yeah. What do you guys think? Yeah. Who comes across the biggest rooster? Yeah. There's a few smacks going on here. There used to be a really good looking team. I was looking at Alastair Cook today.

I was just looking at him. He looks tanned at the moment as well. He runs a lot. I reckon he's like a t-shirt tan, yeah. Now there is a salad. There is a head of hair right there. And a jaw line. And a jaw line.

Yeah. I mean, broad's a wonderful looking. man. I mean, it's, it's ridiculous how genetically gifted a lot of these people are, you know, none of you guys who play pro cricket are like particularly, um, hard working. Like, you're just genetically gifted. That's just, that's all it is. You've done nothing to achieve what you've achieved and you don't understand what cricket really is. Sick what you've done. You walk through with the men, it's just like everyone's six foot five. See, it's damage I would do if I was six foot five as well, you know, the men and the hand size and shaking Josh Ballers hand the

day. I almost put my shoulder to the window. Tiggle me, tickle me elbow. Some of the biggest mitts have ever felt. Well, I heard a new thing this morning, well, this afternoon, sorry, I was in the Harris Garden. And there was a couple of fans, and they were like, we cannot believe the size of professional cricketers, forearms.

Yeah, it's something I've never noticed. Yeah, because it's not necessarily hard. It's a, it's, yeah, I understand that. Yeah, cleaning the feet. But it's a, it's a thickness issue as well with these guys. It's not really necessarily how tall you are. It's just how thick that, you know. Dense.

Yeah, the density. Yeah. Crossy, like, there's obviously been some chat about the fitness of the Australian side, you know, recently. Like, there's, there are some genetic freaks. And, like, I'm thinking like Annabelle Sutherland. Now, there's an athlete. Now, there's the Peas, obviously.

Yeah. Well, Belsie, so I got to play with Belsie at Superchargers last year for the first time. And I've never been more impressed by how someone trains and prepares himself a cricket than her. Really? Like, she is on it. Yeah. Yeah.

She's a good player. Yeah. Just as well. Yeah. She's actually better than a brother. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, totally. Totally, totally. He lives in her shadow, massively. Right, we've got one more, Crossie. Do you want to fire away? Yeah, someone just said, why smitty man, Dan are not on? That wasn't the one I've got, actually. Yeah, she's coming on Monday and Tuesday. Go on, and you go. Oh, really? This is from Jack, actually, because he loves to get in the podcast once a week. Do you want to ask it, Jack, or are you happy for me to ask it?

He's got no voice. Oh, he's got no voice. He's got a cold. Who do you guys think is the most Australian-Australian. cricketer and who is the most English England cricketer? Oh, good. That's a good question because it depends from whose perspective. Like, we feel like like, so we were at

Belushi's bar yesterday, which is an Australia theme bar to watch state of origin. And none of the Australiana songs like dated past 2002. So English people think that we are all like a combination of Shane Warren and Murfews and Kylie Minogue.

We drink, we swear, we're not intelligent. You know, we're raw-boned athletes who walk Bondi to Bronte. And so I guess from that perspective, like the most Australian of Australian cricketers would be Murph Hughes, wouldn't it? Like from a British perspective. I like in the current set up, Josh Hazerwood, who's a man who's lived off the land. He's of a farm.

He wears Aaron Williams boots. He could be a horse, like a bush horse, a wild bush horse roaming the snowy mountains, you know of Australia, the rugged. Whilst writing some poetry. Yeah, that's right. To a loved one. Yeah. So, yeah, soft underneath.

Soft under there. Yeah, a gentle giant. But chewing wheat for some reason. Watching you two go out this is hilarious. I forgot you guys are here. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's a good one, Hoff, yeah. Yeah, now, most English, well, I already said cook, like Sir Alistair cook.

Yeah, Sir Alist. A left-handed opening batter. Yeah, that's nice. Also a farmer, like obviously. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Play for Essex. It's not quite like, do we go north or like, like, because that's, that's English to me as well.

You know what I mean? Sam Beards. Real opposite is that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so can we align them with political parties? Right, we got Tory. There's different, yeah, the most Tory cricketer now, I'll leave that. What about, what about Zach Crawley, a man that bats with a jumper with a gorgeous cover drive and plays for Kent?

with an influential father apparently who likes Rob Key Good golfer as well Is he? Yeah, you've got to be a golfer Like, because then you've got both them iconic like Jeffrey boycott You know Rune your silly bugger

You know like that Like that's from an Australian perspective Like that's what we hear stuff like this Brody is pretty Brody's English Pretty English Yeah Stop moving the robots

Yeah that was good Yeah petulant Yeah Have you got, can you always think of one? I think Sam Billings is a pretty good shout, you know. What about in the women's set up? Like, who is the most posh in? Nats of a brunt.

Posh, yeah, probably not. Okay. Nats good at everything. Yeah, annoyingly good at everything. One of those, like an athlete type as well, like good at like tennis. Just like a bit like a pez. And then you meet her and she's lovely and it's even more annoying because she can't hate her. Nah, hate that.

Yeah. You got to watch out for those people. Yeah, the 10 out of 10 is going to watch out from. 10s, that's when there's a problem. Yeah, when you dig underneath. And Aussie, who'd be an Aussie Aussie? I guess Catherine Fitzpatrick for me. Oh, yeah, that's not bad.

She was like a face. I never got to play against the thing, thankfully, because I appreciate having my head still intact. What about Grace Harris? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But she's more like bogan, isn't she? I had an eating competition or set Grace Harris up for an eating competition

on an academy tour once. England, Australia. We had Holly Armitage, one of our academy girls, versus Grace Harris and it was who could eat the most amount of donuts

in one sitting Grace smashed it really so she should yeah absolutely from the head coach yeah

and I had not seen I've spoken to her for years and I saw her during that 2022 ashes and she was like Mike you got me

in so much I was like I won't never do that again wasn't me you ate 15 donuts mate well hasn't she named her

That's after burgers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right, isn't it? Yeah. But she is very Australian. Yeah.

Hey, this has been fun. We've enjoyed this. Well, thank you very much for coming on. Thank you. You know, why. We've just got a wrap up the podcast and you're going to help us do it. So just repeat after me and Crossie. You can email us on No Bulls Podcast at BBC.co.com.

No balls podcast at BBC.com.com. No balls podcast at BBC.com.com. No balls podcast at BBC.com. It's so good. They said it four times. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah.

All right. Okay. There you go. Nailed it, Jack. You'd be happy with that. Thank you so much. So sorry, it's late. Hey, love it.

Crossie, great to meet you. Thanks for coming down. Yeah, no problem. Thanks for being on. Yeah, it's Sam. Oh, yeah. We never actually did an intro, did we? I don't know who you, sir.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't say anyone's first name because I didn't know who was here. The grade cricketer. It's no balls of cricket podcast with Alex, Kate. Who and who? Ian and Sam. It's the pro cricketer in you guys. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, guys. From my very first game, I knew that I wanted to be a goalkeeper, the buzz and the adrenaline that I got from it. The dream was to always represent my country. Mary Earbs, desperate to impress. I remember saying, I know I've got what it takes.

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