Test Match Special - Snow Balls: The Christmas Podcast - It's finally the Aggers episode!

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Kate Cross and Alex Hartley talk through what went wrong in the Test versus India, and after months of promises it's time to hear from BBC commentary legend Jonathan Agnew.

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Search for My Mates of Football on BBC Sounds. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Hi, everyone. The BBC have told us that we've got to issue a warning. We swear too much. Henry does beep it out for us because he's a good man. It is actually so that your family can all listen. Your kids can listen. But we will say...

Sugar. That's not a really bad one. Cross comes in round the wicket Boulder, Boulder, leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. Think it's the wobble ball, and it just nips back, it jags back, it's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross, an absolute seed. That is a beautiful from cross. Hello, and welcome back to Snowballs.

Cricket Podcast with me, Kate Cross, you Alec Tartley, and our wristbands. Oh, ho, oh, oh, Merry Christmas. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Aye, aye, oh, that's what the wrist-bands were for. What a night? What a night? Went to the dark, the old Ali-pally. What a day to-day's been.

Terrible. The what, the, to say last night was so good. Today was so bad. So bad. Christmas special. Snowballs. Yeah, Christmas special. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Happy New Year. Tears the season to be jolly. La la la la la la. We're not well today, are we? This could be an absolute, well, it will be a shambles because it says. We went to the darts last night. We had some no-ball signs. We didn't get on telly, I don't think.

We were at the wrong side for the TV camera, I look. but it was a good night. The atmosphere in the alley-pally was actually amazing, wasn't it? And this was the old prize that I won slash bought at the PCA's when I was a bit bethed up. Good night, though, good night. Glad I went. Can now say I've been to the alley-pally.

Not asked you how you are. How are you? I look well. No, I did have to force you to do this podcast. But it is, we said we'd do it when we got back thinking it'd be like 1 o'clock in the afternoon and it's now 5pm because you've only just got home. I know. The train got cancelled.

So we're at Wilmslow, the train's delayed, we sit there 15 minutes, you go, right, we're going to get an Uber to Stockport, me and self are like, right, we'll sit on the train for five minutes. The train then goes to Stockport and you're like, as a train self, I was like, yeah, we're at Stockport, and you're like, for God's sake, I'm 20 minutes away. And then we, that train gets cancelled that we're on and we have to get a lift, but as we're waiting for a lift, you rock a be like, hello. Hello, we're a Christmas, everyone.

Shambles of a day, wouldn't change it, got to spend a little. sometime with my best friend who I haven't seen since we both left each other in India, me and South a couple of days ago after the test mat. I'm only joking, well joking, you're my best friend and I'm not seeing you since the Lancashire end of season dinner

which was the fourth of October. Third of October, my birthday. Yeah, I've not seen you since the start of October I've had such a lovely day. So I've come home for a sleep and I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, do you all come over for dinner later or something? No, I can't drink.

I can't leave the house again. I feel like we're faffing about. We've not got a lot of time because, should we tell them? We've got a guest. We've got a guest. Everybody, everybody got a guest. Christmas special Saxon. Saxon, is that the right word?

The noise alarm. Yeah. Christmas special. Christmas special. We got a guest. With Jonathan Agnew recorded in June. So we've had so many messages from people saying that they don't believe. that we actually recorded with aggers.

So we're sending it out as a little Christmas special really randomly just to be more nobles. Should we get into it then? Well, wait, before we do that, we've been nominated for an award again, Al. Why do I always forget about this? People, we need you to back us up here and we need your votes.

If you go on our Twitter or our Instagram, it's on our bio, that's how you vote. Please vote for us. There's other podcasts on there that probably deserve to win more than us, but we really want to win so we can say that we're triple award winners. Multi award winners. No balls agree with podcasts.

Because we've got two, but we're over those two now. I think it's time, because it's been a year. It's time to back it up, baby. We've been nominated for Best Cricket Podcast Award in the Sports Podcast Awards. And I don't know if you notice,

but I did change our bio and Instagram to say that we're multi-ward winning podcasts now. You're not knowing what is. No, I think of course not. Of course not. So please vote. Please vote. It'd be like a Christmas present from you to us.

Oh, that'd be really nice. It'd be great, wouldn't it? And think how, like, do you know, like, how happy I was for you in the IPL? Yeah. For everyone listening, if you vote for us or when you vote for us, let us know, because I'll be that happy again, if it's a really nice place to be in. Really nice, so please, please vote. That's all I had to say, really.

Come on then, I guess. Can't remember what we spoke about, remind us. Crossy, I've got a very special guest with me. This is take two, technically take three, very special guest for the third time, Jonathan Agnew. Welcome to Nobles. Have you actually switched it on this time? Yeah. Are we actually recording properly?

We're actually here and, yeah, there's a pretty poor start that. Well, it did happen to me once with Alistair Cook, actually, when he was captain. I got all the way back to the other side of the ground, having interviewed him before a test match in New Zealand, and I realised when I got back, I had the press record, I was going to go crawling back. and he did it because it's a nice bloke I'll forgive you and I'm just sat next to him so I just said start again

thankfully we were only a couple of seconds in I'm looking forward to this anyway you've been doing some preparation which is which is unusual making notes I love this I love this already there's tension I love it

there's gossip to be had here so I guess we're going to jump straight in because we want to get to know you and your story and you know quite a lot of our listeners probably don't even know that you played cricket because it was so long ago. No, I'm joking. Well, actually, I don't mind that because I don't mind that people don't really remember that I played.

A, because they would have been very old if they remembered it. But B, it doesn't really matter, you know. I mean, there are times when you commentate when having played, it does help because you can take people out and you've actually experienced what's going on out there. You can kind of read body language or I think a bit easier when you've played. play, but it is not essential for a cricket commentator to have played at first class level. I mean, played good club cricket, I think you do.

So the fact that people can't remember all those amazing wickets that I took, Viv Richards, Gordon. I can list them all off. It won't take long. Do you want to pick all those up, Al? He's just got all those on the floor. He took his name's off the floor. There's not that many others, unfortunately, which is why I took to commentating. because I wasn't good enough, but I kind of knew that, really. Agas, you played all your cricket at Leicester. We've done our homework.

What all our viewers, listeners, listeners, will want to know, though, is do you think that Leicester has got the best viewing area in county cricket? Well, on the balcony there. It's a great view. I mean, it's a great view depending what's going on in the game, in my experience. If you're watching David Gower batting, which I did throughout my career because he was my captain for most of it, it was a lovely seat

and there was a nice deck chairs there as well back in that day you could sit there in the deck chair and watch David Gower batting for free if on the other hand you've got your pads on as night watchman and there's 15 minutes to go and Kurtley Ambrose is tearing in from the far end

let me tell you it's a horrible place to be and so I've experienced both of those but it's a lovely old ground and I'm very affectionate for Grace Road and in those days you did you did just play for the one club really It was quite hard to move around. And loyalty meant it a lot.

It meant a lot with the overseas players as well. You know, counties back when I was playing would have two. High class overseas players. And not just ones that came in and out and frittered about during the summer, but actually, you know, they were part of those clubs. You know, they were very loyal. They played for eight, nine, ten years. You know, and they were very much part of county cricket at the time,

which kept the standard high. And I got a bit miffed on people writing about Steve Smith playing for Sussex. and one writer somewhere saying that county should be fined if they employ Australians in Nash's years I mean come off it what a chance to learn you know if you're a Sussex player

in the dressing room with one of the great modern players you know what an opportunity bowling him in the nets I think that overseas players the right ones those who want to be positive are actually very important for the game

so you were saying you were sat on the balcony with your pads on so does that mean you were the original Nighthawk no I don't think about Well, actually, I think I might have been a hawk once. So I went out. I'd just finished bowling and I was knackered. We were at Canterbury.

And the captain, there was Gower again, said to me, get your pads on your night watchman. I was like, come off. I'll just, you know, bowled 25 overs. I mean, get them on. Anyways, a howled appeal out in the middle, first ball, Wicket. Graham Dilley was bowling.

Second ball, another howl. And I'm in on a hat trick as night watchman, having bowled. And so I did have a swipe. I did have a swipe and the first one I remember flew down for four through third man then I got a single summer

I got to the other end had a swipe at Terry Alderman walked off David Gower walked in and said actually I can't really say what he said because there was a very rude word in it he said you made a right of yourself there

walked out and I think we were six down at the close of playing it was a shambles absolute shambles in all seriousness though how did you actually get into cricket because you've obviously been a professional cricketer you've played for England test matches

ODIs, what's your, where did cricket start for you? Oh, it's my dad, I think like most people, isn't it? I mean, you've got a keen parents, you know, mum or dad. Dad would get me in the garden. But in those days, you know, it's free to wear telly. I used to sit, it sounds a bit of a sad childhood, but I'd sit in our sitting room there, curtains closed, black and white telly, and just watch a test match from start to finish. And you'd really connect with your heroes, you know?

And I think it's more difficult for kids to do that these days because it's, It is mainly behind a paywall. It is a difficult sport to really grasp, I think, as a kid these days, whereas then it was very easy. And mum would just bring the lunch in at lunchtime and bring the tea in at tea time. And then I'd go out in the garden afterwards and I'd be Railingworth or Jeff Arnold or John Snow or whoever it was, you know?

And we just played, me, my brother, we would just play for hours on end afterwards, you know. And it was, you could connect, you could really connect with the game very easily. And Dad was an off-spinner, club cricketer. And he really, he drilled into me a really good bowling action that although he was devastated when I became a fastball. I sort of retained that sort of sideways on, you know, that sort of action. So that was down to him, really. And they took a great chance. And I was 16. They sent me down to Surrey because I've got sort of school holidays' contract. Okay.

Now, I mean, not many parents would send their 16-year-old off to London. And I mean, Dad, I don't think you've been to London before. It's scary for you? Yeah, it was, because I didn't know anybody. And you end up here, which is a very traditional ground at the Oval. Very traditional, old-fashioned. And I've been on something that actually enjoy it very much, but it's a great experience because I was playing, you know, setting team cricket for Surrey.

And, you know, all me went from there, back to, coming up to Leicestershire, you know. So you need those moments, don't you? And my parents at 16, I don't know how they found Mrs. Bushall. She was down there. She had a little bed and breakfast near Morden Tube Station. Because there had no internet or anything. And Dad was a farmer from Lincolnshire. You know, you found this woman who had a B&B.

And he worked out that if I took my bag to Morden Station and got up the northern line and came to Oval, I'd be all right. Wow. I know. It's remarkable, really. So without that, who knows what have happened. I doubt I've been sitting here now. But it was a big decision for parents to send a 16-year-old boy down to London by himself. Great chance.

So you talk about those moments and how important they are. You only played three test matches and I say it only very likely because playing one test match for your country is an incredible achievement but do you ever look back and feel hard done by

for only getting those three games? That's a really good question. I mean I did at the time because I was a better bowler when I didn't play so I was when I played for England maybe I played here at the Oval it was a bit of a tough game to be honest it was the fifth test

of the Blackwash series So we're 4-0 down. The West Indies are hammering us. The players have all absolutely had it. There were shell shot. Let's bring old agers in for his debut. It wasn't a kind game. I remember coming out facing Michael holding, all that stuff.

And I bowled. I tried to bowl fast then. But I was a better bowler later. I pitched a ball up and swung it. And I'd like to have played again then. But I think you kind of, you can get pigeonholed, can you? And I think once you're labelled as not being good enough, it's quite a hard label to shake off that.

And, you know, in this job I do now, you are expected to make quite quick decisions about people, so whether they're good enough and perhaps too quick sometimes. But it's kind of expected, isn't it? And with some, like Stokes or Sam Curran, actually, you can just see the walk out and they say, yeah, right, go on, bring it on, we're ready for this. And they make that step up very easily,

but I was never like that. Making my debut, because it was, I think, such a dream, I've rather played in a trance, you know, and I didn't really remember anything about it, you know? So I think if I'm honest, I wasn't, I wasn't quite good enough for that step up. But it's, you know, it's a ruthless thing, isn't it? You know, to go, as you know, both of you know, you can play at one level and each level you go up, you've got to be a bit better. And it's, so much of it is in the mind as well. But if you believe you belong, if you get there and you get a good start, then you've got a good chance of making it.

So on reflection, is there anything that you would change about your playing career if you got your time again? I'd worked harder. I'd have trained harder. I think I've been married to Emma, my wife. I'd have been better because she's, well, you know, Emma. You know, don't argue with Emma. I think she'd have, I think she'd have cracked the whip. You've done well to get Emma into this podcast. That's very good. Well, I know, it's important.

But she would have, she's been brilliant for this career because she's a journalist. She works at BBC and she knows therefore the commitment that you need to do this job to being away from home and everything else. But I, but she's sporting, she rides, she competes the dresser. And she would have given me a kick. I know she would. So I played one Ash's test and I scored two not out. I didn't get any wickets and got dropped and that was it. So I am officially, I'm an Asch's winner.

I mean, you can't argue with that. Congratulations. Everything. But that's actually something you should be very proud of. Yeah. I mean, people are a bit surprised when I remind them when I'm an Ashes winner. Two not out.

One of the runs actually was hit firmly off the inside edge straight into the stumps and the bales didn't come off. And I have a moment. It was what happened next on question of sport. And I sat there watching it a few years later. And Jim Laker was commentating. And he said, Lawson, to Agnew. What?

Really? Batting? What's this? And they showed that. and I couldn't remember what had happened. It actually hit the stumps really hard, so it should actually have been no runs, no wickets, an end of.

But, you know, actually, in those days, you really didn't get much of preparation to play. I mean, you were an outsider, really. I mean, I'll film my first test here. I'd never met him both them before. He was obviously a very central figure in the side. These days, what's brilliant about it, and I know they do it with the women as well,

you are kind of part of the scene, you know? You're part of the setup, and you know, you know everybody for a start and they know you and they know what you're good at and they know how to help you out if things aren't going so well then you turned up you turned up at lunchtime the day before the game you didn't know if you were playing you had a net and the selectors would stand there in their three-piece suits

and watch and you would not know I remember here David Gower gave me a brown paper bag full of cash I wish it was full of cash actually no it had my England sweaters and my cap in and he gave them to me, handed them over. And that was when I knew I was playing. Wow. He did the same with Richard Ellison, the match before it all,

and took it back again because he wasn't playing. So he gave it to him. He's got his, and all that stuff. Oh, fantastic. He said, no, sorry, they're not playing anymore, and took it back. That's quite harsh, isn't it? That is. That is.

But that was how it was. I think it's brilliant today. You know, in men's and women's, the setup is so much better. And you do know each other. And you, you know, you form friendships, don't you? And you're mates and you go out there,

and you all play together. and it's just a much more healthy environment. So talking about test cricket and how it's developed and, you know, the way cricket's changed over the last few years or the last 10 years or so, do you wish you ever had the opportunity

to play in the franchise era? And do you think you'd have been able to bowl the wobble ball? I've been, Steve Finn's talking, I've learned quite a lot of different because they're all different the wobble balls, aren't they? People, well, are you a wobbler?

Kate, do you bowl the wobble ball? I'm renowned for the wobble actually I'm actually just learning how to swing it so so which grip I mean because they have different grips different bowlers have different grips for the wobble which which makes it quite complicated so I've learned the fin grip and then Mark Wood taught me the wokes grip and there are other ones basically depending on where your finger it all gets a bit technical isn't it but I mean it's transformed bowling isn't it I mean really on a flat pitch when nothing's happening the ball the ball isn't swinging it's run up and bowly little wobbles crossy taught me how to bowl the

Wobo ball with a jar of mayonnaise when we lived together. But that's not even, that's not round. A little one, yeah, she was just showing me how to hold it. It was just the same position was the lid. It was how we interact with each other. There's a jar. How do you, how do you, how do you, it's not even round?

Yeah, I know, but I understood so it's fine. Yeah, so do you wish you'd have played in the franchise era? I'm glad to play the franchise, I've made a few quid. I mean, honestly, you know, professional cricket, again, I'm going back at the day, but it was a six-month-a-year thing, so you had to find a job in the winter. You've got your P60 in September, a little note saying, see you in April. And that was it. And off you went.

And you had, you know, you had to find some work. And that wasn't, you know, I drove a lorry delivering asbestos for a couple of winters, which I'd rather regret now, if I'm honest. And made windows very badly in a window factory because no one's going to employ you. You know, so today, I mean, these people, I don't know how people like Ravi Bopara do it. You know, you'll sit and turn the tell you on one week. And Ravi, there's Ravi. Oh, good old Ravi.

We're wearing blue today. and then you've settled back in your seat a few days later. There's Ravi. Oh, he's wearing red today. Just going around the world, playing these things. And for someone like him, I mean, he's just extended his career, isn't it? And, you know, yeah, I mean, I enjoy T20 cricket. I do.

I just think it's too much of it. You know, if they got the balance right, T20 should really just be funding the rest of it. And that was how it began. But it's just, you know, all these different friends. It's just become too easy, I think, for administrators, knock out another franchise, players away for three weeks rather than three months. You know, bowl four overs a day. It's not bad, is it? I mean, there's pressure on.

You're expecting to perform, of course there is. But if you're good enough to get picked up by one of these IPL teams, I think they're probably good enough to play. So, yeah, it's a very changed scene. Did you ever think women's cricket would be where it's at now, looking back 15, 20 years ago? You might not know about 30 years ago. And no, I didn't. And for no good reason. But I watched the World Cup final at Lords in 1993 when England beat New Zealand.

There was nobody there. The women were wearing nice, very nice skirts and long white socks, you know. And it was, it wasn't an exciting game because it was more, it wasn't a defensive game. But the expansion that's come through T20 cricket hadn't happened. So it was quite low scoring from memory. England won, but there was no profile of any of the players. No one knew anybody. The only one I knew was Janet Britton,

who was quite well known back in the day, and she had a white wristband on. And the radio came to me for the very end, and I was commentating, and the New Zealander hit the ball in the air, and I was thinking, oh, God, who's going to catch this? And I just saw the flash of the wristband out in front of the grandstand.

I thought, oh, Jeanette, thank God. Jeanette takes a running catch, and that was it. But I'll tell you who sat with me that day. It'd be sound terrible name-dropping. But I was in the commentary box. The old commentary box at Lords and the Pavilion. And I didn't do reports.

There was no commentary on it until the very end. And the door opened. And I turned around. And this voice said, do you mind if I come and sit and watch with you? And it was John Maghry, who was prime minister at the time. And so we just sat together and we watched the game. And he is an absolute devotee of women's cricket. He said, watch this.

Watch the techniques. Watch the way they play. It's MCC coaching manual. And he was right. because I mean it is You are on the front foot more You are on the back foot more You're not so likely to get a ball in the face

Which the men do So it's batting is different But we sat there There's a lovely day Window open And of course fall on all the cameras are on But there was the Prime Minister Sitting and watching that game

He just wanted to come and do it Because he loves women cricket He had him on the podcast He'd be great on the poker You could ask him for a few questions Isn't it you that's related to a female cricket Yes my first cousin Mary Duggan was captain of England

before Rachel Hayhoe Flint and so actually Rachel always spoke very warmly of her she was back in the day you should know this crossy what are the best figures by an English woman in the ashes no chance are you going to know that I do not know that

I should get that surely is Mary how about seven for six wow by Mary Duggan now that's what you've got to that's what you've got to aim for this I'm going to strive to beat Mary's figures Seven for six. I know.

That's unbelievable. Yeah. She's a wobble ball, isn't it? Merro is a slow left armour. Yeah, that is right. So, yeah, seven for six. Conscious, we've had you already for about 20 minutes, Agers, and we've not even touched on the fact that you are the voice of TMS.

So my final question to you is, what has been the highlight of your commentary career, and why is it sharing a commentary box with Alex Hartley? Well, I'll tell you what, she's actually quite tidy. she's tied to you than Isha Goa who just leaves her stuff littered all over broadcasting centres I mean it's ridiculous she has someone running around after

all the time saying oh Isha you forgot that and Isha that's yours and Isha there's your phone and Isha there's your It's extraordinary Alex I thought would be a little more shambolic Than she is She absolutely is

She's a very bad influence in the evening Obviously It's nice to take your granddad out Every now and then you know Yeah But no, she's a very welcome addition. My favourite moment, I think, was the Headingley test. Because I could have chosen the World Cup final,

but because I love test cricket, it has to be that test match. I don't think I'll ever see another test like that. Ben Stoke's innings was incredible. But all the other drama, you know, the lion run out and miss and Paul Wilson, that LBW, and he got everything wrong in that series. He's always going to give it not out when it's absolutely plum.

All of those things, all the drama of it, and it's a beautiful day. The sun was shining, is a huge crowd. And just to sit there in the best seat in the house and describe that, I don't think I'll ever be able to beat that. Now, we put something on Instagram, so we're going to do it really quickly. A picture of you saying, ask agers. That's not a very nice picture, though.

Well, it's the first one that came up on Google. So our listeners and our fans have asked you questions. We've had loads look. We've had so many. So I'm going to pick out the best ones. Rude? Yep, of course. $55,000 on average per record.

That's amazing. So somebody here has said, I miss you on social media. Will you ever come back? No. Best thing had ever happened, even Jonathan Liu falling out from that perspective.

But we're mates again now. Yeah, it's made up last summer. Kist or made up, it's fine. But, oh, no, social media's not a nice place to be, is it? No, I've had some awful stuff. Yeah, people should be nice to each other. Someone wants to know why you hate the bucket hat so much. Well, you tell me, you are obviously fashion icons.

I mean, do you think they look good, a bucket hat? Yeah, I love a bucket hat. Why? I think they look good, yeah. Someone did tweet saying it looks a bit, Glastonbury, doesn't it? Well. We can't confirm nor deny that. I'm a Panama man.

Yeah, you are, but you suit that. Do you think? Yeah. You don't have to say me, obviously, because you won't. But who has over the years been your favourite person to work with in the commentary box? Oh, I've been so many, Alex. I mean, Jeff Boycott and I had a great relationship. and I really loved working with Geoffrey

because he never knew what's going to say but it would be forthright, it'd be interesting. He was a brilliant analyst of batting techniques in particular and you just never really knew what you were going to get from him. But, I mean, tough as love. I mean, everybody, the overseas ones, part of my job I really love is working on the ABC and so when we go to Australia,

I'll go from Commodry Box to Box to and they always have interesting people as well. I mean, everyone brings something different. on the fence he is there, because of it's, you do get a relationship with people and there are some

that you find a bit easier to work with than others and even, you know, but one or two of my really best friends

somehow, it feels sometimes it doesn't quite works at another radio because you just mates, you know, and others, you know,

just professionally you just get on with and you work, you work well with, but everyone's different. I mean, all the commentators are different.

So Alex would be discovering, I'm sure, that you're, You're a bit different depending on who you're working with as the ball-by-ball commentator because we just do it in different ways. Less serious. Do you wash your bread knife

or do you wipe it on your trousers? Ooh. Do you know, that's the second question. I don't think I've ever been asked before tonight. Welcome to no balls. Do I wash it? So when you cut a fresh piece of bread, there's nothing on it.

Do you wash it properly? Soap and water or just give it a wipe, put it back in the cupboard. You mean, your bread knife? If your actual bread knife, the serrated edge one. But if Emma listens to this and then she knows the truth, I'll just stick it back in the thing. I don't do either.

You too like pears in a pod. I don't do. I'll stick it back in the... We've got a little wooden block. She wouldn't be pleased if she knew that. Susie wants to know what's your favourite pie? Beef and ale. This is a unique experience.

Someone asked as well, do you ever get tired of hearing the leg over clip? That's a good question. I don't always laugh at it, but I never tire of hearing it. Sometimes I really do laugh at it. I don't know quite why sometimes I don't, but what I do do always when I hear it is I do have the picture, because I millions of people have heard it,

and it's been playing God for 30 years now, 32 years. But I'm the only person that's got the image of Brian Johnston, just to my right in a heap, and that's special. He was a remarkable man. a lovely broadcaster and I know if I hadn't worked with Brian I know I wouldn't broadcast like I do now you know he gave me the confidence

really to do it but his face the tears pouring down his cheeks bright red unable to speak actually only I've got that you know the others in the box are behind us so they couldn't see it so go on sorry just wait Al just for anyone that's not heard it

can you recreate it for us our very old version well it's difficult to recreate the leg of it what I do when I play it when we go out. People aged about 20, of course, I think, now haven't heard it. So I'll identify the people in the room who haven't heard it and I'll play it.

And then it's quite a good test to see whether they laugh at it or not because it was 30 or years ago. And I don't know if you young people talk about a leg over, because you've got different words for that sort of thing now, Alex. But the leg over one was a total accident.

A total accident. That was not planned for a moment. So, you know, Ian, both of not getting his leg over. There was something slightly ridiculous about that back in the day, I suppose. But I'm sure most people have heard it by now. But it'll just live on that one, wouldn't it? It's very infectious. My last one.

Do your dogs really enjoy flying? And do they stick their head out of the window, like in cars? Stick out of that window? 140 miles an hour. Actually, I'll tell you what, honestly, they love it. As soon as I get the harnesses out, they know exactly what's going on. They know where we're going. We're off to Skeggy.

And off we go. I only take two of them. Load them up in the back. And they love it. And I know when we've got there. A little 10-minute walk to the beach. It's my ideal, absolutely best day off is to do that. And no one can contact you.

You're just away in another world. Fly the airplane. It's half an hour to get the Skegi from me. Land on the beach. Yeah, it's brilliant. Run on the beach. It's miles of sand. The dogs love it.

have a cup of tea and a sandwich, fish and chips, perhaps, and then fly back again. And he's fly back, and you fly over Beaver Castle and into Nottingham. You know, it's just the most beautiful part of the world on a sunny day. That's where you'll find me. We're doing it wrong, girl. I know we are, aren't we? Thank you so much.

Would you come up with me? Yeah, I'd love to. Would you? Is that an official invite? Yeah, yeah. I've terrified of quite a few people now. Yeah, bring it on. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, we'll work something out. I'd love to. You can't get off. I've seen in trouble. Give it a go. Once you're not committed. I've done a skydive. Maybe I'll jump out.

Agas, thank you so much for giving us your time. This has been a whole new experience and I know you've been working very hard at Alex and well done. Apart from obviously not recording the first one, but we'll move on from there. Thanks for giving us your time, Agass. We know how much you've wanted to come on here.

You reckon. Cheers, Agass. Bye. Thank you. Video 5 Live. Get inside the football in minds of Premier League icons with the Players Channel.

From the Footballers Football Podcast with Michael Antonio and Callan Wilson. This goal scoring, the whole thing kind of went, pot. Since I've joined the podcast, my career's got to parthic. No, no. To Football First with Troy Dini

and Jermaine Defoe. Pandola Canio don't sit on a bench. You got up, walked out, gone. And they come in Monday morning, normal. The Players Channel. Listen on BBC Sounds. Oh, ho, ho, ho. So Christmasy.

I'm not going to lie out. I don't know what was in that. No, me neither. Thank you, Henry. This is why you're also up for the award. Yes, what a man. He doesn't just be present so your kids can listen. He does edit and do other fun stuff as well.

But, I guess, it happened. It was true. It's not a myth. It was there. Christmas special for you. We don't, like we said, we don't know the context or content with it. So we hope you enjoyed it.

Yeah, I did. Are you going to text him and let him know that he's been on now? We've put him out. Finally. Finally, because every time I see him, he goes, did the podcast go that well? And I haven't managed to tell him we haven't put it out yet. Oh, gosh. He's probably searching for it, wondering where it is.

Yeah, so it's out now. Great. Well, yeah, like I said, we hope you enjoyed it. I can't talk about what we spoke about because I don't know. Well, we might as well do some Christmas questions before the festive holiday Well, speaking of Christmas questions and who we're going to go upstairs with

A bit of news came out Oh, we need to touch on the test match I need to just talk a little bit about that But the umpire that we should go upstairs with It's on my sticky note this week is Jackie Wilson Because she was the first female umpire To umpiring a men's international

Yeah Yes, she was. We will go upstairs with her in a few minutes, but we were men around up a test match. Well, we lost a toss and we're in India. And I think I've learned from never having played a test match in India that the toss is quite important. But what is also really important is bowling well and batting well.

And we weren't at our best. It was a disappointment in two days, two hours. Yeah Two hours Is that all it lasted Two days and two hours It was two hours into the third day That we got bowled out

Yeah Yeah really honestly 12 and a half weeks I trained For that game And how many hours did you bowl like at 13 14 on day one And three on day two Oh

Disappointed really in it Mm So But we had a good chat about it after the game actually, because obviously everyone was disappointed and we got bowled out for like 130 twice basically. And Louis just made a really good point that it was a one-off test match. We're not going to play test cricket now for another 12 months

and the reason that we went to India was to improve our T20 and the girls won a T20 series in India. So we can't forget that. And I'm not making excuses we were poor in the test match. Why do you think you were so poor but they were so good? Gosh, I think there's lots that go into it But those Indian girls grow up playing on those types of pitches And we're

Well, it's been highlighted so much in the press Hasn't it about us playing against spin You know, Deepty Deepty got like five for in the space of four overs on day two The pitch did deteriorate more than we thought it would And quicker than we thought it would So day one and day two was very, very different Like day one when we were bowling and it felt like an athlete

absolute road. And I think I even remember texting you saying like, if Ben Stokes' team had played on that pitch, I'm sure they would have got like 570 for three on day one. And then it changed quite a lot by day two. But there is, I think Heather said it in the press conference at the end of the game that the, because it's such extreme condition. So when it turned, it ragged. Yeah. I'd take you saying it's ragged. You're like, no, it's not. I was like, what? Because you wait. So, no, so when it turned, it's. did rag but not every ball was turning so yeah like that's actually harder that so the batters tell me anyway that I was listed to them that that's harder than it turning every ball because

if it's turning loads every ball you know how to play you know how you know the conditions are really extreme um but they did they outplayed us we were completely outplayed australia are currently in a test match against them now and they've been bowled out for 200 and the pitch i mean i saw alicea healy's dismissal and it basically went underneath the soil it didn't bounce that much so it is it's really difficult and like leary highlighted to us how much no one finds it easy going over to india and winning test matches so so it's not just us um but it was a it was cool experience getting to play over there and obviously test cricket is so rare that it's great when we do get to play it but it was tough tough tough yeah i can imagine was your body saw yes yes very hot

very humid very sweaty at least next time you'll be better yeah well that's the thing it's all learning and we've got two World Cups now in Asia over the next 24 months so it's all learning and that's the way we've got to keep thinking about it perfect right festive questions with Jackie with Jackie let's go do you have any Christmas day traditions have a great Christmas and a happy new year we don't the only is terrible one but the Christmas day tradition of the England cricket team was that you had to go for a run. Yeah. But that's kind of dwindled a little bit now.

Yeah. Once you're retired, I'm guessing you just don't need to do that anymore. Well, Eccleston actually asked me at the car before. She said, how much money I have to pay you to go for a run now? I said, so I've not run out of choice for a long time. But I said 200 grand cash in my back pocket I'd go for a run now. Really? That's a lot of money out.

Yeah, I know. that's how bad I feel. Well, you've got some Christmas traditions, haven't you? Don't you put mushy peas on your plate or something? Mushy peas, oh, God, I cannot wait. It's not a Christmas Day tradition, it's a boxing day tradition for me. I started it, I'm the only person in the world that does it, but I've got some people to try it this year.

Leftover turkey, gravy, mushy peas, stuffing, sandwich. Someone, was it, is it Sophie Luff who's got a pineapple tradition where they all sit around and pull the leaves off the pineapple. I'm sure Dino and someone else told me about this. That's fun. And I'm pretty sure we've had it on the podcast before. Someone will know about that. What's your favourite Christmas movie and why is it Love Actually?

Mine is not Love Actually. Mine is Arthur Christmas. I know you. I know. I'm getting into bed and I'm putting it on in 10 minutes. Yeah, nice. I watch The Grinch on the way home from India. What a terrible film that is. What? So, so terrible.

No. It's awful, rubbish. One of the worst, I would say. That's not your favourite then? No, my favourite is probably the holiday. Yeah, yeah. Good film. Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Um... I've had that a couple of times, actually. Who's on the nice list? Who's on the naughty list? Who's on the night? Out of the two of us... I'd say we both. Both on the nice list, aren't we? Yeah, I've actually had a really good year.

I've held a relationship for a whole year. That's a nice list. Right, yeah, you're on the nice list then. It's a good, eh? I don't think I deserve. Yeah. And also, if I say I'm on the naughty list, it always sounds a bit rude, didn't it? Probably on the naughty list.

Oh, Olivia, have you watched Arthur Christmas yet? No, I'm going to watch it now. Tom says, what was the worst cricket-themed Christmas present you were ever given? you were ever given. I mean, it wasn't the worst, but it was a bit underwhelming. But when I was younger, I had to wait till Christmas to get six cricket balls so I could practice. Oh, that's sad. That is really sad.

But I loved it. It was the best present because I was like, Don't think of Cricket Balls. We wish everybody a very, very merry Christmas. Yeah, I don't think we've spread any Christmas cheer with this episode. However, we do hope you have a great time, and we are smiling, and I was excited to get in bed now you can noball us on no balls podcast at bbc.com.com.com.com. The wolf podcast at bbc.com.com. It's so good. It's so good. It's a Merry Christmas. Guys,

next time we speak to you, it'll be 2024. That is. Maybe 2025 when we remember we've got a podcast. We started this podcast in 2019. It's 2024. Oh my gosh. Guys, please vote for us. We'd actually love you support and yeah, do it. Win us an award, baby. Jingle bells, Batman smiles Robin laid an egg. The Batman built broke his will

and I forgot the rest. Hey, have a nice day everyone. Good God, bye everyone. Cross. I'm doing round the wicket. Oh, that's... Boulder! Boulder! Leaving a ball alone, Litchfield. Think it's the wobble ball

and it just nips back. It jags back. It's the nipbacker. That is a beauty from Kate Cross. An absolute seed. That is a beautiful cross. I'm Mark Chapman, and this is Everton. Nothing will be the same. This is the story of what happened over one of the most difficult and controversial seasons in the club's history.

If we go down, I don't think we'll even exist in five years' life. We've been inside the club talking to players, coaches and managers. I had nine and a half years in my previous club. I've probably got one booking me. In four months here, I probably got three. Everton, nothing will be the same. Listen now on BBC Sounds. Stop doing that, you rude.

We've done 35 minutes of aggers and seven already. Yeah, all right.