Test Match Special - Snow Balls: The Christmas Podcast - It's your Festive Special!
Episode Date: December 21, 2021As Christmas approaches, Kate and Alex put up the tinsel and see what Santa has popped in the No Balls inbox. Plus, a look back on a tough start to the M-Ashes for England......
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.
The Dakar Rally is the ultimate off-road challenge.
Perfect for the ultimate defender.
The high-performance Defender Octa, 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine
and intelligent 6D dynamics air suspension.
Learn more at landrover.ca.
BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts.
Hello, Steve Crosman here.
just dropping in quickly with a completely not made-up fact.
Did you know it is not actually possible to have too much football in your life?
It's true and we've got you covered on the Football Daily,
the biggest names covering the biggest games with the biggest debates,
all hitting your podcast feed seven days a week.
Get involved and subscribe to the Football Daily on BBC Sounds.
Now, back to your podcast.
Guys, this is your warning.
We do swear occasionally.
Every now and then, we'll say the word sometimes, sometimes, and even maybe.
But don't let that put you off with nice people.
We beep them out.
So your kids can listen.
Enjoy.
And cross strikes in the first over.
It's what England we're looking for.
Partly balls.
Down the track comes scoring this time she connects.
It's either six or out, it's six.
Hello and welcome back to Nobles, the cricket podcast.
With me, Alex Hartley, I forgot our name then, and you, Kate Cross.
At least you didn't forget your name, which you have done in the past.
With me, Kate Cross and you, Kate Cross.
Welcome to our Christmas special, everybody.
Merry Christmas!
Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day.
Okay, that's enough of that.
When the kids start singing and cross, he starts to play.
Badaum, bum, bum.
What's your favourite Christmas song?
That one, I do like that one.
Oh, okay.
What about yours?
Some good ones out there, actually.
There's a few belt in Christmas tunes.
It's a shame they only get played from...
August onwards.
I like Steppin' to Christmas by Elton John.
Step into Christmas, that one.
It's joined together.
Forever and ever.
Yeah, that one.
Good tune.
Bit in Mariah Carey never goes wrong.
Classic, classic Christmas.
I just saw her on the TV singing Christmas songs.
How are you doing?
I'm very well, thank you.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm good.
Currently down in London.
So I've lived in a hotel room now for four days
because I'm doing some work with BT on the Mashes,
which is, it's been all right, it's been fun.
The show has been all right and fun, not the Mashes.
You've got a good gig, though,
because you're on telly for 40 minutes, and that's it.
And 10 minutes of that is the highlights
slash low lights of the Mashes, so it's great.
I know, I know the Mashes, Crossy.
Before we go into Cricket Chat,
it's the Christmas special, we know our fans like it,
we've not done it for a few weeks.
Shall we do Trough and?
Peak of the week.
Beak of the week.
Should we do it?
Yeah, should we do peak first?
Yeah, let's do our peaks.
I'm going to be honest with you, Al.
I deleted my sticky note by mistake,
so there's not much one here for me to chat about.
Oh, you're being honest there, are you?
Yeah, I'm being honest.
Or have you just not done your homework?
No, genuinely, my sticky note had gone.
My to-do list was still there, but my podcast sticking out disappeared.
Well, I'm going to be honest with you.
I have not written any notes.
You never do.
Yeah.
That's, you know.
You do the hard yards to this podcast.
Anyway, what do we say we'd start with?
Peak, yeah, you go first.
My peak of the week is Usman Kowager.
Yes, just him as a human.
Him as a human.
He was two stepping on the boundary yesterday.
I mean, probably sums up where Australia are in this test series.
But more importantly, he must listen to the podcast.
Grossie.
Tell me what he's done.
He came on as 12th ma'am, and without even getting near any other player, he already was hat-stacking.
He came on with a floppy and a baggy green.
So a floppy and a baggie on top of each other for no real reason.
So I think he must listen to this podcast.
He must do.
He's gone, you know what, I'm going to make it onto their podcast.
He must know about the hat-stacking raw cup.
Because who's floppy?
He's floppy, but who's baggy green?
Because you're not putting both your caps on.
on. It's like you putting your ODI cap on over the top of your T20 cap.
Exactly.
Hey, there's one for you.
Well, it could be Dunkin. It don't give me ideas.
Oh, yeah. So, peak of the week, Uzi, like absolutely, hats off to you, right?
We applaud you, but not hats off, hats on. Put more on.
Thank you. Your peak of the week?
We do. At my peak of the week. So, mine actually goes back a few months.
In the summer.
Okay.
In the summer, somebody got hit in the,
the danglies
The Crown Jules
And Ebony Raymford Brent
was commenting
and said
Oh, it's hit him
in the goooly-wooly-woolies
Alex Hales
friend with the podcast
Yes, it was Alex Hales
Thanks for the memory
To which we found
hilarious
The goooly-wooly-wooly
And I was watching
BT today
Your friend that you were
commenting with
Which his name is
Steen
Steen said
Oh yeah, am I
In the goooly-ooly-wooly-woolies
Yes
Because you, you teed him up to say it
and you said, I'll give you 20 quid if you say it
and I said, I'll double it and give you 20 quid also.
So he's got himself 40 quid,
but he also added to goooly-wooly-wooly-woolly-woos.
Hopefully it should get trending on Twitter soon.
It should, and we've both got clips of it,
so obviously they'll go on the internet.
Speaking of goooly-wee-wool-weeas,
how much did you just want to wrap Joe Root up
and put him in a little blanket
and just protect him at all costs?
Oh, Joe Root, without Joe Root,
how bad will England be?
Well, Joe Root
but just Joe Root
his meat and veg
going into the third test match
I mean he went for a scan
in the morning
because he got hit there in warm up
and then Mitchell Stark hits him again
during the game in front of that
did you see him shoeing the spider cam away
when he was about to check them?
Yeah like do we don't want to see that
it's like no Joe we don't either
no I mean there's been a few people tweet us
saying that he's really wants to come on this podcast
and take that ambassadorial role off Ben Stokes
because he effectively is no balls.
Oh, poor Joe Root.
Oh, poor Joe Root.
Oh, anyway, have you got a trough of the week?
If you've got one, you go first.
Okay, I've got a trough, crossy.
Okay, go on, hit me. I'm ready.
I've got COVID.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
I mean, how I've not got it sooner is really a miracle.
but I am now isolating on my own until the 28th of December.
God's sake.
So you've single-handedly ruined Christmas.
You like the Grinch.
That ties in quite nicely with my trough of the week actually
because I saw you on the Wednesday.
And technically I'm your close contact because I'm double-jabbed.
I've had my booster, which, by the way, everyone just go and get it makes such a difference.
Just go get your booster.
Well, does it? I had mine Friday.
Yeah, but you've got COVID on the Tuesday.
You've got to give it a bit of time, Al.
You can't just get COVID and then go get boosted
and hope it gets rid of it.
But yeah, so I'm now a little bit restricted
with what I'm allowed to do.
All my tests have been coming back negative, so I'm all right.
But yeah, my trough of the week is that I'm a close contact with you.
Yeah, and you're not allowed back to the house.
The irony of it was, though, we were just saying, weren't we,
that if I'd not come down to London to do this work,
I'd probably have COVID as well
and me and you'd be having Christmas Day in the flat
probably cooking Augusta or something
if it shambles.
At least we'd have put the tree up.
Yeah, we could have done.
We could have done like a live podcast from the COVID flat.
Yeah, anyway, so I feel all right.
I know there's people that have been really poorly with it.
I'm young, I'm fit.
I've been double-jabbed, half-boasted, shall we say?
And a half-boast, yeah.
Yeah, so I'm fine.
I just feel a bit tired is all I feel.
I actually feel like this is a really nice time to talk about COVID a little bit in general
because I feel like there's a lot more anxiety around Christmas, COVID.
I feel like there's a lot of people isolating as well
because of like pretty much effectively your story seems to have happened to a lot of other people.
So I guess if you are listening to this and you've got COVID,
I'm going to play a song for you.
We're in it together.
Next Wednesday.
Yeah, I mean, well, we hope you're all all right.
No, genuinely, I do wish it could be Christmas next Wednesday.
Yeah, so do I, actually.
It does a massive favour, wouldn't it?
So you aren't allowed to go England cricket training tomorrow, are you, because of me?
No, so they're just really precautionary
We're obviously so close to flying to the ashes now
It's just not worth COVID going through our camp
Because we need to be on that plane on the 7th of January
We've seen
A bit of Mashi's chat
We've seen how difficult it is without the proper prep
To go over to Australia and play well and win
So I think we've got in the back of our minds
That as well
Like we know it's going to be tough
Yeah, have you seen a member
of the broadcasting team has wiped out loads of people as well.
No way. Do we know who?
No, somebody's got COVID. Nobody knows who it is, but has been a close contact to everybody
and basically nobody was at the ground. It just goes to show, doesn't it? It's literally
so rife at the minute. But other than that, are you all good? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. It's
bit strange. I feel like I'm like away from my family and friends at a time when I probably
should be around them around Christmas time
and obviously we're going away
for three months. No, but I mean because I'm working down in London
but also like I had loads of plans to do stuff with people
and catch up with my friends that I've not seen for ages
and everyone's got COVID now so I've literally sat in a hotel room for four days
other than when I've been live on the telly.
I know it's weird isn't it? I know so many more people this time round
that have got it than I ever have before. Yeah, same.
So anyway you can come home on the 28th of December.
Yeah, nice.
Nice, thanks.
Really kind of you that.
Mashes.
Mashes.
Did you watch?
Have you been watching?
Yeah, yeah.
It's been the thing that I've noticed that it's frustrating as an England fan
is that we seem to be losing the game in the same way.
Yeah, we do.
It's just so frustrating when you, I mean, it's hard enough when you're in the team
and you are doing that.
And you know that and you try and change it and you can't change it
and it happens again.
But as a fan, you can't implement, you can't help, you can't do anything.
It's like, stop doing what you're doing.
It's just so frustrating.
And do you know what?
Australia is just the better side.
That's the crux of it, isn't it?
Just the better side, yeah.
The only person I can forgive for getting out in the way they did was Joe Root.
Yes, he snicked off, yes.
Normally he probably would have left the ball or defended it, whatever.
But he'd just been hitting the googly-wooly-woolies in a bit of pain, not had the best day.
and he completely got set up by Stark like Stark bolt so well at the end there
do you know what that I was I was been saying this all week
we had a really similar situation in the 2019 Ashes at home where we couldn't win a game
and it got to yeah you're a bit you're a bit worse actually than the men oh thanks
did you not get bored out like 50 in an ODI game I mean we challenged them in the first two
games so there's already a bit bit of a difference there but yeah then we did get
absolutely wiped out of Canterree although
I got my first international boundary that day
so it was quite a good day for me personally
Top scored as well didn't you?
With eight.
Double figures.
You've lost my train of thought now.
Sorry.
Mashes Australia Stark.
Australia is better.
I've been saying like how do you
keep asking me
how do you motivate yourself
or the team when you're in this situation
and you know it's going to be hard to win
and there's nothing that you can do
other than take your personal pride
into that game and say right
well I'm going to do X, Y, Z
and hopefully that'll be the 5% the team needs
to make the difference.
But it is just so difficult when you're under the pump
and people will have lost confidence.
The saving grace for me was that
I know Haseeb got out early in the second innings of this test
but Rory scored some runs
and it wasn't many, it wasn't a big score
but he stayed out there to get a bit of confidence
get a bit of time in the middle.
So now hopefully if people can start piecing it together
to put into the boxing day test match,
then we win that game
and it might just bring the series to life.
Oh my God, Olly Rob.
Let's talk about Olly Rob.
Bowling, spinning and sunglasses.
Off spin, international seamer just bowling off spinning his sunglasses.
I actually messaged me today saying,
yay or nay, about the sunglasses.
I was like, absolutely.
You love it, don't you?
You love bowling and sunnies.
I feel like it's a thing that the England team do.
Yeah, the spinners.
should bowl his sunglasses?
He actually, I learned today, does bowl spin for Sussex quite frequently.
So he'll often in the first innings when it's seaming around and nipping and swinging,
he'll both seam.
And then it's not just like he's doing it in the nets and then just rocked up today and had a bowl.
Oh, and then when he's a bit tired, it's hot.
He's a bit unfit.
He'll bowl some spin.
That's a classic Seamer's career, actually, isn't it?
Like, just suddenly start bowling off spin when they turn 32.
Yeah, if you dare, we don't need any more.
I would turn the ball more than you as well.
You're probably what.
I'm working on it, Crossie.
I'm working on it.
You were about to say something serious before.
Oh, the bat him.
I think the thing for me, you say, you said the name Stokes, Butler, Pope there.
They've not got big runs, well, they've not got runs yet.
They're due.
They're like, they need time in the middle.
So you think if they can fire now, they're still, we're not even halfway through this series.
Like, if they can start firing, hopefully it will bring the series to life.
Yeah.
Josh Butler taking worldies dropping sitters
Mad, absolutely mad
I saw a thing that Matt Pryor did today
Have you seen it?
It was amazing, wasn't it?
And how when he's ready to take the ball
His left heel is already off the floor
Therefore all his weight is through his right leg
Which is why he's taking worldies to his left
But then he's struggling to go to his right
And it makes so much sense
I saw everything that prior had done earlier in the week as well
It's just obviously I've never listened to any kind of wicket-key
coaching because you generally kept away from the wicketkeepers
and they kind of do the one-to-one stuff with the coach.
But he was talking about how wicket-keeping isn't done with your hands.
So when Joss dropped that catch off Anderson in the first innings,
he made it look like he dropped a sitter,
but it was actually his feet that hadn't done the work.
So there's so much that you don't really know about.
But obviously that's why the insight of Pryor is so fascinating
because he just delivered it and let us know why John.
is dropping those catches.
Yeah, it's been good to listen to.
We did go into this day-night test
thinking, got a bit of faith.
We've got Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad,
Chris Wokes, can all swing a pink ball.
We are missing a bit of pace.
We need a bit of wood.
You like a bit of wood.
I do like a bit of wood.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm missing him.
Just bring something extra, doesn't he?
Like the lengths that he hits.
And that's just something that I think England
haven't done that well.
For long periods of time,
You've got to have the energy, you've got to have the endurance.
And Mark Wood has shown that he can do that.
Get him in.
Get Wood in.
Get him in.
Any more Mashes chat?
I think, should we leave it there?
Because it's been, I've actually...
There's also, sorry, there's also a lot of TMS podcast all talking about the same thing.
Yeah, okay.
Well, that's our little insight into cricket, everybody.
And the depressing state of the Mashes.
But there's still three more games.
to go. I would absolutely love it if they won at Melbourne, took the series 2-1, how good would
this series be? Oh yeah, that'd be class. That'd be class. Bingers crossed everybody.
Come on, England. Right, we need to go upstairs with somebody. Who would you like to go upstairs
with? Because I picked the wide signalling umpire last week, so you pick. I would like to go
upstairs with him, but with a Santa hat on both feet.
Yeah, right, Christmas after all.
Here we go.
This one says, hello Kate and Alex.
You might not see this email to 2021,
but since I'm sending this before Christmas,
I both wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
It works. Amazing.
Having listened to this week's episode with Kate's dad
when you talked about the Christmas giveaway,
it got me thinking, throw back.
You two have made a lot of people happy with this giveaway
We're not doing another one
For me, I feel it's not just about the mug
Although it looks great
But this act of kindness
And how you have lifted a lot of people's spirits
During this long year
It got me thinking
As well as donating to charity
I was thinking I could offer to give you something back
Oh, he's offering to give us something to the podcast
Yeah, send it
Ignored him
Send it
Yeah, send it
We'll have it
I've actually got an up-to-date one here
found one that we didn't go through last week
says hi Kate and Alex
your correspondent asked whether coloured shoes
look right on a cricket field
do you remember this chat?
Yeah I have to admit
they have a point but from a scorer's point of view
they're a real bonus when it comes to telling players apart
when they're all wearing the same kit obviously
and the shirt number isn't visible
so I say keep them
of course most players wear white shoes
so we have to get more inventive
and recently I've started noting the colours of the souls of the shoes
Kate is particularly helpful because her soul
shoe colour is less common than most. So my question is to Kate, do you know the colour of the
soles of your shoes? Because I do. Why? Who's that from? I admit that this sounds like an
LBW, but I maintain its really hopeful knowledge. And that's from Mike, who's an occasional
women's international cricket scorer. Do you reckon he has you down as crossy blue sole?
Well, that's my answer. I do think I've got blue souls. Well, that's why I said it. I think you've got
blue soles as well.
Yeah. How can I find this out?
In fact, I do have blue soles because my new balance logo is blue on the shoe, isn't it?
So yeah. Yeah. Crossy blue shoes.
Crossy blue so. Blue soles.
It doesn't quite well. I mean, there's been so many times where I have had a blue
soul. It does. It does work. Not just on the cricket pitch.
It's not just my shoes for me.
Hey guys, great podcast. I always look forward to a new one each week. I had a genuine question.
Of all the teams you have played against, domestic and international,
which team would you like to play for?
So you're not allowed to pick a team you have already played for.
All the best, Martin.
Played against.
There's not really that many in the hundreds that I'd want to play for.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, the obvious one is like playing an IPL team,
but I've not played against any of them.
So that's a really tough question.
Maybe I wouldn't mind playing for one of the Melbourne teams in the Big Bash and WBBL.
Yeah, nice.
What about you?
I'll play for anyone, whoever wants me.
100 worldwide.
I just like playing cricket.
Just take yourself global, play a bit of franchise cricket around the world.
Yeah, yeah.
Nice, just not superchargers.
No, I would go to them.
Would you?
You've played in purple before, actually.
Yeah, I'd play for anyone, Crassie.
I would play for anyone.
Beggars can't be choosers.
To be fair, we do well in that headingly as well.
Exactly.
Morning Legends, a few questions on commentary.
Ho-ho.
There's quite a few, eh?
Ho-ho.
Ho-ho.
Number one, there always seems such a big turnover
of commentators on the radio being rotated.
What are you doing when you're not on air
apart from finding ice cream?
Depends the format of the game.
So test match, I'll sit down, lie down normally, have a little snooze, just play on my phone,
knowing that in 20 minutes when you're back on air, probably not much has changed.
I feel like when you're not on air, you almost need to listen to who is on air because I've noticed,
or I can tell now, particularly with radio if I'm in the car, you can tell who's not listened
because you end up repeating stuff but not crediting the person that's been on before.
Like, you know, if you'd said something, I could be like, oh, as Hartley mentioned earlier,
but you can tell the people who haven't quite listened to what's being fed through the radio.
So I feel like that's a bit unprofessional sometimes.
Yeah, my bad.
Well, I'm not saying you do it, but I think people probably should do it more.
Yeah, yeah, they should.
But it's also really hard to be switched on for the whole day.
Yeah, no, I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Question number two, do you get to spend any time with the players when you're on a commentary day?
No, not anymore because of COVID.
Used to be able to.
So you always used to see the England girls come over and chat to us, vice versa,
but nothing now because of the COVID.
Just a bit restricted, isn't it?
Normally you would, you would though.
Number three, do you prefer commentating on the radio or the TV?
Ooh, good question.
I think the radio I can be more myself.
But I like both.
They're both different.
Yeah, they are different.
I actually find the radio easier.
than TV, because not that this happens a lot,
but if you make a mistake or you say someone was caught at midwicket
and they were caught at square leg or something like that,
the listener can't correct you.
Whereas if you say something wrong on the TV,
that clip generally goes out on Twitter,
and if you've made a mistake, it's obviously obvious
because people can see the play.
So I feel like radio's easier in that regard.
A bit more forgiving.
Yeah, good, good word actually
And I found going from radio to TV
The best bit of advice I got given
Was that you have to be comfortable with silence
Yeah
Whereas when you're on the radio
You have to fill silence
Because you are explaining absolutely everything
That you can see
So I've found that really difficult to be quiet almost
Yeah, yeah
I do like both though, they're both completely different aren't they?
Yeah, yeah, they're both good fun
Question number four
Who do you like to co-commentate with?
My favourite person to co-commitate with is Henry Moran.
Yeah, you too have got really good chemistry, haven't you?
Yeah, we've got a really good, like, working relationship
where we can just be ourselves and have a lot of fun.
And a lot of people always say it's best when we're on together.
So I'm always like, buzz on together.
I think it's always good when you're working with someone like Henry as well,
that you trust him to be, not that you would,
but to not stitch you up, to not, like, put you down a rabbit hole where you can't get out
of, like, the trust that you two have in a friendship
obviously relates to your co-commentary relationship as well.
He does like to set me up in certain ways
that I'll just say something a little bit inappropriate
and then he'll look at me, wink at me and carry on
and I'm there, like, laughing, like, this is not okay.
Yeah, I love working with daggers.
Yes.
I have some of my best days with daggers.
But it's a really similar thing, though,
like me and him understand each other.
He knows my cricket knowledge well enough to know
what to ask me, what not to ask me, etc.
yeah question number five is it hard to have to say when things go wrong for example a bad
shot a drop catcher and missfield especially when they might be a friend i wonder what she's
talking about no it's not i think with me and you if i'm playing your commentating vice versa
it's just part of the job isn't it like if you drop a dolly i'm sorry but i'm going to have
to say you've dropped a dolly yeah as well i'm never going to listen to it so say what you want
I'm not going to go back and listen to the radio
again this comes back to the TV bit
I might see the highlights of what gets said on a TV
because I'll watch the videos
but I'm not going to go back and listen to
four hours of radio
Yeah
I know you've got better things to be time
Not now you're isolating though
Sorry about that
Question six
Do you get more nervous when you're commentating or playing
Ooh
Ooh
Good question
or depends on the cricket game itself
and always always the first TV game of the summer
I'm physically shaking, I'm that nervous.
Really?
Yeah, like my knees are like clattering together
and I'm like, oh my God,
everyone's going to see the microphone shaking.
I always worry about, whether it's commentating or anything,
I always worry about people seeing you physically shake
because obviously you do get nervous
but even like doing any type of public speaking,
hate having to hold a microphone because you can see it,
whereas at least if you've got the microphone in your ear or slash near your mouth
and you don't have to touch it, you can't see the shaking.
Yeah. Do you get more nervous playing or commentating?
Again, it depends on the game.
I think I do get nervous playing, not as much anymore,
but my thing with playing is that I generally don't impact the game
or influence the game until at least 10 overs in.
so I find that quite difficult
because I'm waiting for either the ball to come to me
or me to get the ball to bowl
and obviously I don't open the ball in for England
so I found that I get more nervous
because of that I think
yeah I know what you mean
when I used to play for England
obviously used to do fine leg to fine leg
and would come on in like the 17th over
and everybody knew that I was quite an anxious player
and got quite nervous
so always after the first over
somebody would throw me the cricket ball
so that I could just be like, oh, right, I've got it now, relax.
And I've got this thing about, like, getting my first throw-in of the game,
you always want it to be a good throw.
And you think if you don't field the ball till the 9th, 10th over,
like, you can't get yourself relaxed.
So I don't think I get, I probably would get more nervous for playing
than commentating.
I don't really, that doesn't stress me out too much
because I just think I say what I see in front of me that day
and that can change.
You can't plan for that.
And whether or not, yeah, and whether or not people agree with it,
It's up to them, isn't it?
Yeah, and generally, like, we always do our homework with commentary,
so it's not like you're going to get found out or anything.
Yeah.
Last one.
Have you got any good, embarrassing, on-air stories?
Something as good as Crossy singing on the BBC breakfast would be great.
I've got loads.
You literally, every time you go on the radio.
Charlie Dean made her international debut this year,
and her ODI debut I think it was
you were playing at Worcester
and she took her wicket
and she went down towards fine leg
to go towards the crowd
and I said oh now she can relax
and enjoy the crowd clapping her
but I actually said
cloud crap her
got my words muddled up
muddled up yeah can happen
tongue twisters are probably my favourite
I can't think of any that I've done actually
other than singing on BBC breakfast
yeah I've said I've honestly
go through my Twitter
I've had loads.
I've loved women's cricket for a long time,
but this summer has been something else.
I feel like it's developed decades in just 12 months.
It feels like people have finally taken it seriously
and the inspiration that you've created
is going to be very, very special
and thank you for everything you both do
towards that too with the podcast.
It's not just the next generation though.
I gave up playing when I was younger
because I was self-conscious and embarrassed
of always playing with the boys.
I felt ready to go back to it this summer
and 14 years later I'm playing again.
Thank you for making me a love
playing and training again and not just being on the sidelines for each of those small-minded
whitts, sorry BBC, that give you grief on social media, there's a 30-year-old me that is
inspired, don't stop fighting. Much love to you both, Ellie. Yes, Ellie. I love that you've
started playing cricket again. That's amazing. Well, I've got one here. Dearest Kate and
dearest Alex, thank you so much for the podcast. It's been the highlight of my weeks during
in lockdown. Here is my question, which are better? Bats, the cricket equipment, or bats,
the creatures? Marks out of 10 for both, please. Bats, the creatures are vile. They look really
cool against the night sky, I'll give them that, but otherwise, what are they doing? They just
hang upside down. You tell me one purpose of a bat that's not a cricket bat. I was about to
say that, like what animals do bats eat spiders? If they eat spiders, love them. What does a bat
I can surely do.
What good the bats do, here we go.
From pollinating our favourite fruits to eating pesky insects
to inspiring medical marvels, bats are heroes of the night.
No, they're not, they created corona.
True, very, very true.
Basically, they just pollinate seeds and stuff.
Why do they do it at night?
Why are they so secretive?
Yeah.
They're like burglars of the animal world.
Hmm.
so therefore animal bat zero and a cricket bat ten yeah yeah i'm happy with that evening you two
not emailed in a while but this has been bothering me henry's pronunciation of tortoise
he gave the example of a porpoise which i also pronounce oise does he pronounce turquoise as turkus
are we sure it's a north-south divide or is henry broken anyway you two are correct he's not
lots of love, Andy.
Andy, Henry is definitely broken.
Torquess.
Is that the colour?
Yeah, turquoise.
Yeah, it's not turquoise, is it?
Turquoise.
But he, ah, right, okay, so Andy's saying that he says,
porpoise, he says it as porpoise.
I think I say, oh no, I say porpo.
I don't know.
I don't know what porpoise is, what's the word?
Dolphin.
It's a posh word for a dolphin, porpoise.
See, I would just say dolphin
Yeah
Interesting
We didn't get as much
Well actually we did get a lot of responses from that
But I don't know geography well enough
To know where people were saying they're from
To put it into a map
Someone could do it for us
That'd be great
Yeah I mean somebody did say
They say tortoise
And they were from Yorkshire
So it just ruined the whole thing
Yeah we gave up quite quickly
Dear Kate and Alex
What is your favourite Ash's memory
this question is for both of you
and which Aussie girls
would you love to invite on your podcast
love to hear some
ashes rivalries and banters
maybe with the washes
we'll try and get
some of the Aussies on
yeah we can definitely do that
what's your favourite Ash's memory
to play in or to watch
do you think
no let's got to play you're a player
it probably has to be winning it in well retaining it technically when we went to the back-to-back ashes over in Australia
and we'd won the test match I think we won the first ODI but then we just needed to win one more game
and it took us a while to get that win it was the probably first T20 or second T20 in Hobart
and I remember Lottie and Sarah Taylor having this amazing partnership and I think
Lottie hit the winning runs
which was really apt
and then we all
legged it onto the pitch
and I've never been part
of one of those
huddles on the pitch
where the players on the side
run on and it was just amazing
we had one of the best nights
that I've ever been involved in that night
in Salamanca down at the bay
in Hobart
Oh my God I love Salamanca
we went to a bar called Cargo
and
what a place cargo is
and I think we were pretty much
the only people in there
because we won it on a Sunday
So, like, Australia is generally pretty quiet on a Sunday, isn't any, but Hobart especially.
And I don't know why we were doing it, but someone would just start shouting down from 10.
So it would just be in the middle of the, like, dance floor, having a dance, and someone go, 10, 9, 8.
And it was basically, you've got 10 seconds to get on the dance floor.
So if you weren't on the dance floor, you had to get on the dance floor.
And we had this silly little dance routine that we would do.
It was like a mob, like a flash dance that we just created ourselves in Hobart.
back because we've won the ashes. It was amazing, genuinely amazing. Was that
2015? 2015, we went over there. Yeah, because we haven't had the ashes since then.
Do you know what? I was saying to my mum and dad the other day, because Ash's selection,
the squad came out the other, when was it, last week. Congratulations, by the way. Yeah,
thanks. This is my first overseas ashes that I've been picked in since I made my debut in 2014.
Wow. And I was like, have I missed one? And
I've not played Ashes cricket in Australia
since I played in that test match at the Wacker.
Wow, that's mad.
I know.
Well, you're the good luck omen then,
so you better bring him home this year.
I hope so.
I've played in two at home that we've lost quite significantly.
But I'm hoping that...
Maybe you're the overseas good omen.
I'm the overseas, yeah.
Yeah, nice.
I haven't really got her a good Ashes' memory
because in 2017, we lost,
and then in 2019, I didn't make the squad sound.
Maybe making my so-called ashes debut
Never made my test debut
So me and the ashes are not friends
Do you think
Genuine question
Not like a leading question
Do you think that too much is made of the ashes these days
Oh
Do you know like all the
There's a lot of
Yeah the hype and the theatre
And the rest of it
Do you think it's beneficial
Or do you think it's got a bit too much
No I think it's beneficial
to, like, get fans engaged and, like, ready for it.
I'm not saying that there shouldn't be media around it,
but the amount that goes into, like,
just the build-up talk of it from the players, from everyone.
Like, you don't get this for New Zealand playing England
in an English summer.
But it's the ashes.
Yeah.
I just think since 2005, it's become, like, something different.
It's become theatre.
It's become, like, entertainment.
more than a match.
Yeah, it has.
But then, so I am genuinely thinking out loud in my own question here,
but careers are genuinely defined by these types of series, aren't they?
So like Ashes series, World Cups,
they're the kind of things that people remember you for.
Like, how many hundreds has Ben Stokes scored in his test career?
Do you, like, everyone will remember the one at Headingley?
Yeah.
Like, Will Joe Root loses captaincy over this ashes if they get absolutely whitewashed?
yeah yeah it's like that's what people are talking about and that's like it's the ashes yeah it's it is
interesting isn't it it's as a player you want to play in the big moments and you want to be a part of that
and you want to have the career defining moments but i don't know i just i think i've seen it from
a like broadcasting point of view this week and how much pressure is put on the players and
like that jo root is a good example if he doesn't do well then the captaincy might be gone and
yeah i don't know i don't know i actually don't know how i feel about it
Yeah. Well, in your head, don't big it up. It's just a series and you go out there and smash it.
Oh, yeah. I'm the good luck charm for the overseas. Like, what's the problem? Exactly. Exactly.
I feel like we've not had much fun today. Should we try and find some fun ones to finish?
I've got one here. Hello, both. I'm a very big fan. Question, would you rather celebrate a wicket on a free hit?
Oh, God.
or go out to bat
doing your full warm-up
sidesteps and everything
when the innings has finished
that is from Eleanor Threlkeld
It's a great question
and I'm really delighted actually
that she's brought up
because you've done both those things
multiple occasions
we've definitely talked about this before
I'm sure certainly the warm-up bit
yeah I have done both of these
on multiple occasions
and celebrating a wicket on a free hit
on the international stage
has got to be a career low light.
Thankfully, I mean, you did it in a game
where there was no one in, in India.
No, no, just probably,
you know, your casual 5,000 people
in a massive stadium in India.
No, there was no one in that day.
Was there not?
Nagpur, no.
Absolutely, there was literally not one person in
because that's why we could hear you celebrate it.
Oh, so embarrassing.
Which one would you rather do, though, Crossie?
I think we've all celebrated a wicket on a no-ball, haven't we?
We've all had that moment.
For me, what's even more embarrassing
that happened to me in O Man
is being at Deep Square Leg and the ball spins past you
when everyone shouts spin.
Yeah, that's not good.
Yeah, I really was embarrassed about that.
For anyone that's not heard me going out to bat
doing my full warm-up side steps and everything,
Crossy stitched me up in a warm-up game.
Was that this year?
Last year, one of a warm-up games for the KSL last year.
I had just come back from International Duty
so I wasn't playing in this game,
so I was a bit bored on the sideline.
And there was one ball left in the over
and you had your pads on.
And you'd asked how many balls are left,
and I said two, and a wicket fell.
And so you got off and proceeded to do your entire batting routine out to the middle
only for all the players to be coming the same way.
Do you know, now I'm really conscious about it
so I don't do my side steps for anything
so I'm definitely out in the middle
and there's people not walking off the pitch.
Oh, I loved it.
And everyone knew, everyone but you knew.
Oh, I just wasn't concentrating.
I think I was so excited to have you back
from international cricket
that was just giddy from the whole day.
And why would you not trust me?
Yeah, I've learnt my lesson there, haven't I?
Speaking of stitch-ups,
how about you the other day
when I came back from Oman
tried to scare me
and you didn't even have the light switches on.
Yeah.
And all you said was
all you said was
you could have helped me
my bags, mate.
Honestly, I was absolutely flagging.
I'd had like an hour's sleep,
travel for 22 hours,
dragging a coffin of 36 kilos
up three flights of stairs.
I know, I wanted to scare you
and I forgot that the telly was on,
the lights were on it.
It just wasn't set up for the occasion, was it?
No, it was, yeah, it was poor effort.
Right, I've got an email here.
I think.
Last one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It says,
Love the podcast,
here to share
embarrassing DM stories.
Oh.
Fingers crossed.
Hey Kate and Alex.
Karan here,
Indian living in the US,
in the land of Starbucks
and Grey's Anatomy.
I love your podcast.
It's so refreshing and funny
along with being informative.
I apologize if this email is too long,
but I had to write in
after binging with so many things
I wanted to email.
Speaking of weird D.E.
to Stuart Broad.
Do you remember?
I forgot about that.
So as a backstory for anyone that hasn't listened to that episode,
you sent me one of Stuart Broad's Instagram stories?
Yeah, listening to Radio One, which is fiancé co-hosts.
Molly King was working on.
And it was back when Instagram had the function that if you clicked on it,
it took you to your DM with that person.
So I suddenly found myself in Stuart Broad's DM not knowing
and thinking that it was your DM.
And I sent him a message saying it was great to see you
his supporting his message.
Oh God, the embarrassment.
I didn't even know his till like four days later, did I?
I will never forget walking around saying this breeze
and laughing and laughing and laughing
because you were like, oh my God,
I've just sent Stuart Broad a message
saying nice to see your support in the misses.
I didn't notice until four days later
because I thought I'd sent it to you.
And then I went on my Instagram DMs.
And I was like, why is Stuart Broad in my inbox?
And it was me.
I'd messaged him.
I didn't know.
Anyway, speaking of weird DMs to Stuart Broad,
here I was unable to contain my joy
at seeing your podcast finally have an Instagram page
that I didn't realize my second DM to you guys
was a load of auto-corrected gibberish.
Don't worry about this, Karen,
because Hartley sends me gibberish literally
every single day
I do and there's nothing worse
than sliding into someone's DMs
someone actually did it to us the other day
on our podcast one it was meant to go to a friend
and I think it like they sent
us a message being like I love these two
like check out their new podcast
they just sent it to us
love that though that makes us feel good
so I'm happy about it
yeah yeah keep sliding in
crossy
Holly it's Christmas
It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid
Yes Al
Right I'm listening
At Christmas time
What did you want to say to me
I say crossy
It's Christmas
Oh is that it?
Yeah
And I did want
I had a message for our listeners as well
For anyone that is in my current situation
That's isolating over Christmas
On your own
Our podcast is there to get you through
If you don't have anyone you've got us
Mine and Crossies' DMs are always open
So please send us a message if you're struggling over the next few weeks.
It's a tough time of year for everybody and I'll be on my own so I can keep people entertained.
Well said. I've got nothing to add to that.
Hope you all have a lovely time with your families if you're able to see them.
If not, FaceTime's an absolute godsend.
So it is.
Enjoy.
It is.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
See you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
And cross strikes in the first over. It's what England we're looking for.
Party balls. Down the track comes scoring this time she connects.
It's either six or out. It's six.
BBC Sounds
June 2008. Across the London skyline
a helicopter emerges. It lands at Lord's Cricket
ground. Emerging from a helicopter is a tall,
brash Texan called Alan Stanford, and he's come with
a load of money and a revolutionary idea to change cricket.
One night, one game, winner take off, 20 US million dollars.
What was to follow was one of the most extraordinary stories
to ever hit sport. This guy, it smells,
heaven.
He fooled important people.
I'm Greg James, and you can hear Alan Stanford, the man who bought cricket by searching
for sports, strangest crimes on BBC Sounds.
Why are you laughing?
Just in the Christmas spirit, crossy.
All right, okay, nice.