The 40k Lorecast - Episode 11 - Orks!!! What are they, and why are they so amazing

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

ORKS!!!!!!!! We could not hold out any further than the 11th episode and have begun our 3 episode foray into the best faction in all of 40k the Orks. We go over: what Orks are, where they come from, how many gods they may or may not have, and their incredible powers of belief. Join us for a journey into all things Green, Mean, and Amazing!!PatreonMerchandiseDiscord Link:Our WebsiteRetro RecallOur Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com* Check out Pebl: https://hellopebl.com* Check out Pebl: https://hipebl.ai* Check out Shopify: https://shopify.com/loreAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to the 40K lore cast. Hello and welcome to the 40K lore cast with me, John Barsati and Bradchester. This guy. It's happening. We're doing this. Orcs. You know what? I'm going off on a wild tangent. We're so excited about this orc episode that John and I were literally building orc-lis before this cast for him. Spoiler alert, the gargantuan squig-off has a lot of play. And it was awesome.

By the way, surprisingly awesome. Like, wait, it does what? Yeah. Also, the T-13? T-13 with a strat to make it minus one to wound? Are you implying that could be good? A lot of points. Here we go.

We're going into orcs. And orcs are, so Brad and I have two favorite babies. They are Eldar and Orcs. I think we may both like. competitively playing Eldar more, but we like the orcs more as a thing. Yeah. Now let's talk about who the orcs are. Orks are an engineered race that was built for speed.

It was made to fight, period. Full stop. Yeah, full stop. But also, it was a race that was designed to be a fighting race, the perfect fighting race. Literally psychic reproduces without- any problems whatsoever. Incredibly tough. Incredibly durable.

And only listens to one person or one being race of beings and that race of beings left. Yeah. Oh, oops. Oopsies. So when it comes to orcs, one of the parts of orcs, for those of you who maybe don't play 40K or just listening to this or people who are near the 40K, orcs on paper are the most terrifying thing in the galaxy. They are. They should be a nightmare.

I mean, absolutely. They should be the thing that they sing bedtime stories about. Everyone, this should be the most feared thing in the galaxy. And they are, don't get me wrong. But they're actually funny. Oh, they're so silly. This is why we all love playing orcs. Because GW has done things right.

They've done things wrong. Cough, cough, cough, tow. They've done things. They have gotten nothing as correct and as imperfect as orcs. Orcs. They are any orc player. Orcs can be the worst faction in the entire game, and they will still have numerous players at every tournament you go to. Unbelievably popular.

We are, orcs are fun, they are enjoyable, and if you don't own an orc army, you should be thinking about building one. You can never hate an army that the more of them they are, the stronger they get, not because there's more, because they actually become stronger. They are a hilarious,

and we're going to cover a lot of this as we go through this. The stories that are the orcs are actually maybe the best part of it, because they are objectively hilarious stories. They're a hilarious race. They are great in every way you're from. First, you know, they mispronounce half this stuff. So let's start off with what are the orcs? And I wrote a horrible joke here, but we're doing this.

They're actually not a species like we think of. They're a fungus. Because, according to my notes, by sports. Well, it's because they are. are fun guys. Oh, God. Yeah, we're doing it.

I was literally going to blow blow right through that. There's no way. I made the notes. I'm making the damn joke. So the orcs are actually, they're not traditionally reproducing species that, like, lays eggs or mammals.

Which also means that, screw you guys in lore, there may or may not be the same special character out there a bunch of times because you don't kill orcs. You just delay them. Which is why, And this is to cover that piece, talk about it,

but why they're so terrifying, once orcs hit a planet. The planet's ruined. It's over it, because the spores are there. You can't remove spores. They're just always there. You destroy the planet. Yeah, and I actually wrote here,

suck at Ulanor. Because we ruined you forever. Yes, you defeated them at Ulanor. And then you had to rename it when Armageddon came out because the orcs eventually were like, yeah, we're actually still here. And waiting. Yeah, cute parade you had.

but our turn, they're also, they can literally stitch themselves back together. They can regrow limbs. But no, no, no, you're not giving it the proper thing. They can grab other orcs limbs. Yeah. And they can jam them on themselves. And go, well, this is my, I lost my shooting arm,

but he lost his shooting arm. I'm going to grab his shooting arm. And look, I've got a new shooting arm. That's actual stories that have happened with two art guys lost one arm and the other also lost the other arm. And they traded arms. And now they both and they're back together. This, by the way, there's arms.

They can put their heads back on something else. Also true. Because they have to, because orcs, again, orcs are the most powerful psychers in the galaxy. Yeah. We're going to go. I really do believe orcs are. They are the roadrunner of 40K.

They're the most powerful species in the galaxy. I really do believe that. Roadrunner. They just believe that things happen. They can go right through anything. They are the most powerful. they're thankfully incredibly stupid, but they're the most powerful species.

Wildly dumb. And that's again, what makes the fun. The only way to remove an orc completely is to burn it with fire. That's it. So sisters, you got your enemy. And they do hate Zinos. Sisters and salamanders,

you should fight the orcs. Let's not send anyone just with bolters because it's adorable. Orcs are also greeners. and big. Although, some of them may be purple. We've just never seen one. Yeah.

You've never seen a purple orc. So, just saying, they might be some purple ones, and they're just very, very sneaky. Can we just say that red still goes faster, though? Oh, yeah. Well, it's one of my favorite parts. It is a belief-based species. But so what an orc is for those of you who aren't paying attention? They're green.

They're large. Their skin is about the same. density of space marine armor. Let's just go to. Have you seen Wow? Yeah. Yeah, World of Warcraft is an option. I mean, honestly, the Lord of the Rings,

anything you ever watch with involves orcs, there's a consistency in that they are big, they are green, and their hardest out. All of those things I just said, 40K arcs are way tougher than us. 40K orcs are, of all of the fantasy works, they're the best orcs.

It's laughably. All those things we just said, luxury. Orcs are incredible. They also feel almost no pain. You can shoot an orc and he will look at the hole and then continue what he's doing. There's even stories of orcs who are dead and are still fighting. They just refuse to acknowledge they're dead.

That's actually real stories. It's a real story of orcs are people kill the orc and the orc just keeps going. You just doesn't believe it. Yeah, no, I'm not dead yet. They also grow for their entire life. That's a big thing because of the fact that as you get, the orcs get more powerful as they get older and as they accomplish more things because, again, they believe they're more powerful.

Well, they actually, the cool thing they're growing, they literally level up like in a video game. If an orc defeats an enemy, he levels up and gets bigger. He gets more powerful because he believes he's more powerful. And it's not a stupid Skyrim world where you have dynamic scaling of opponents. They actually are better. Yeah. And the thing is, is that the more things that they kill, the better they get.

And they actually start really small. Orks start as boys. I'm saying, but they, no, but they, well. They come out as boys and they become gas-gole. I'm saying, but they come out as boys. Yeah. But they come out as the miniature version of boys. The species.

And then they actually, and then they grow, and they become a knob. And once they become a knob, they can then become a war boss. But what's fun about orcs is, remember, at each stage here, they have to beat up every other or to get there. But it's also what they become specialized. You know what they become specialized on? Whatever someone told them that they need to do. Yep.

This is what you are. Okay. Yeah. If someone says you have to be this, you go, all right. It would say I do think that 40K orcs compare really well with Warcraft orcs. The old, oaky dokey, I'm on it. That's orcs. If this reference you don't get, go play Warcraft.

It's an incredible game. Oh, Tides of Darkness, so amazing. Oh, I'm talking Warcraft One. No, the same thing, but Warcraft One. Oh, yeah, Tides of Darkness. It was the DLC. It was the back when we had DLCs on disc. Yeah.

Brad and I are old. But, yeah. But I'm saying, the thing is, is that orcs become what the WOD needs them to become. They're also what's called a collective mind, which I actually misspelled in my notes. I'm realizing that right now, I spelled that wrong. Anyway, orcs are a collective. So the more orcs that are in one. place, the smarter they get, and the more capable they get.

And the more powerful they get, though. And so orcs are, so this is again going into what we're talking about when orcs infest the planet, it's just kind of over already. Then orcs also have one purpose. And it is fight. It's also to fight. And then the other purpose of fighting. That's their, that's their.

And the thing is, they don't care. And the best part about this, and this is why orcs aren't scarier than they are, even though they should be, like you were talking about in the beginning, orc should be, like, literally the boogeyman. They should be scary than Ternets. Scarier than the bug that reproduces that infiltrates your society. But because of the fact that orcs aren't inherently evil, they're just bred to do a thing. Well, they have no purpose other than fight. If there's nobody around, they will fight each other. I'm using the word fight, not conquer, for a very specific.

specific reason. They don't want to conquer. Everything else wants to conquer. Orks just want to fight. If they lose, they want to tell everyone, hey, these guys beat me. You guys go for it. Not as a we need to win this because that was super fun. And I lost next guy up.

Yep. And the thing is that that's why orcs are the funnest army. Yeah. And why they're not the most terrifying. If you're playing 40K and you play someone who plays orcs and he loses and he's salty, remind him he's playing works. because it's literally the rule. Yes, it doesn't even matter.

He's supposed to go home and join them. Orcs never lose. It's also true. An orc is never beaten. Yeah. And the thing is, is that, so let's go, I mean, let's go basics. Let's go back. Where do they come from?

Where do they come from? The old ones created the orcs specifically to fight. They were fighting against the Necronterre and the Catan or the C-Tan. Listen to that episode, we never changed that we never fixed it. We just guessed our way through and never as we ever do about them. I will flip. But the orcs are specifically, they're literally genetically engineered to fight.

Period. Full stop. Nothing else. There was never, there's no poetry. But they're also the perfect organism because they instantly do fighting. They, their Ternets,

we'll do this much later. Ternids are the Zerg, go to Starcraft. They adapt to whatever. orcs are already perfect for everything they need to do because anything they need to do, they just effectively imagine it. Orcs are also encoded with genetic memories.

Every other species that exists in the universe, maybe tierit is, is the other one that might have this, have to learn a behavior. They are created, they grow up, and they learn to behavior. Orcs, once they pop out of the fungus or out of the spore, just know how to do things. Whatever they need to do? They've no idea why, but they just do.

It's pretty obvious that this is where Brad and I've had a discussion on the old ones about, you know, created races versus uplifted races where the orcs were obviously created because they're also stupid, which the old ones, I think, did intentionally. I think they realized, hey, if I'm going to make the greatest fighting force in the galaxy, let's not let them have a lot of strategy and intelligence because they would win everything. Well, I think that they, it's not even just that. I think that they made it so that they, the old ones didn't plan on losing.

Yeah. So the old ones said, I'm going to create this perfect fighting force, but I can't have it have its own will, because then it will go do possibly, oh, I know, necronteer nefarious plans. We need to be fully thumb on this race, and then oops, we left.

And this is probably what makes the orcs so fun, is that what we were saying earlier, orcs are fun because, yeah, they are this violent race that conquers and destroys the galaxy, but they don't do it with intent. There's no desire. Orks aren't, or like, for example, the difference is that if orcs land on a planet, or they arrive on a planet and there is a giant space marine base and a ton of civilians.

They only attack the Marines. Yeah, because that's where the fight is. They find no joy in killing all those civilians. They will be made fun of. They'd be. Yeah. They'd be mocked by the orcs for like, oh, you killed a bunch of them. of like dudes.

Like this wasn't a real fight? Yeah. No, but the bunch of orcs who like the orc boy who by himself goes and takes his chop and tries to take out an imperial knight, that is that is the orc of legends. So they are, they are fantastic. The problem for the orcs, and this comes to what we discussed earlier, is they were created 60 million years ago with a very specific, with a purpose of killing the necront tier, or actually necrons last stage, and that.

a satan and being subservient to the old ones. But they have nobody in charge. The old ones disappeared and the old ones never passed over the control codes to the Eldar. So the orcs have spent 60 million years wandering around. Looking for a fight. Wandering around in an El Camino. Yeah.

Driving very rusted. Driving bar to bar. Yeah. Picking fights with yes. Yeah. Roadhouse. I mean, that's fairly accurate. Also, and then you believe that you got stronger by beating a guy up, and you do.

That is, when we get to the 41st millennia, because we talked about this, even the 30th, 30th millennia, and prior to that, the mankind kept bumping into orcs. And every time they did, it was a huge problem. And they've been everywhere, which is funny, because the orcs have a legit, and the thing is, is that, orcs kind of stagnate if they don't find an opponent. Yeah, they actually struggle quite a bit. Yeah, they will actually diminish. And orcs have kind of almost died out in some of the stories. Because they had no one to fight.

Because they had no one to fight. They have to fight someone or they have no purpose. And if they don't have any purpose, they just start to go away. From here, I want to dive into some of the, the reasons why we love orcs and important stories. The first one, because it's one of my favorites, is the gods in question mark of orcs. Quotation. So you have gork and or morgue. And this is fun for, if you understand works, this is what makes orcs so much fun. The orcs have two gods, maybe. Maybe. So they're, they're pretty sure that they have gods gork and morke, but they might only be

one god. But also, think it's two. And also they might not be gods. They might just not, they might be big orcs. They might have been original crook. And one was definitely probably called gork. And the other one was definitely probably maybe called morke. And one is brutal but cunning. And the other is cunning but brutal. We know and we're not sure which one is which. And if you don't understand why that's funny, take a few minutes and understand that's awesome. The orcs have, they are fantastic. They are fantastic. And so everything about that. Again, by the way, the orc gods might not be gods. They might just be big orcs that wandered off. Yeah, they wandered up at one point.

Because as we said, orcs always get grow for their entire lifespan. And so we have 60 million years. There might have been two orcs who were a million years old. Everyone went and one was named Grork. Oh, they're Marorque or there's just one of them and who cares. But, the entire orc culture is built around this. And the other cool thing about it is that the orcs also believe that the gods favor them in combat, which we're going to get to in a little bit. The power of orc belief is something really great. Because it's real.

Yeah. If orcs believe in it, it is real. So let me go on arc beliefs. Please. There's nothing better than gork and more. Orc culture has a very common. complicated structure, which is what's the biggest cool in charge? That's the entire structure.

I was saying the biggest guy is almost like the elf structure, which is biggest hat. Yeah, biggest hat. Yeah. Orcs are biggest guy. And by the way, it is physically the biggest guy. Also, this is the best part about enemies. When the biggest guy is in charge, everybody else believing in the biggest guy in charge means he gets big. Makes him bigger.

Yes. Them believing that he is in charge physically makes him bigger. These things are good. Although the irony is that there are a creature who get something called Gretchen who actually do all the work. So they have a giant orc who's in charge and they show up places to wage war and the Gretchen kind of hand them a stick or hand them a gun or whatever is. So when we say who runs or who runs orcs, the biggest one is in charge, the Gretchen running. everything. I was going to sing Beyonce in a second there, but let's just do this.

Let's dive into the orcs then. So there's types of orcs. The first one is what I call true orcs. So we have an ork. But they start small. Yeah, they start small. Exactly. Which I... We already ended this out. They have... You start as the smallest of orcs, which is the base org, which

is the boy, but you are even... You are effectively boy light. You are tiny. And you legitimate, again, I can't stress this enough. As you do things, you level up and you legitimately get bigger. Yeah, this is the ND, guys. This is pure D&D. Like FACCO goes, actually, Thaco never goes down. It's Orks. But they do that. Once you graduate from Ork and you've fought enough battles and you believe in yourself, you become the next level up, which is a knob. Which is just a bigger version of a boy. And then you grab a larger weapon because you believe.

you can, which again, we will get back to. And then if you get long enough, you hit enough people, you become a war boss, which you also can go other places. Again, we have to specify that when enough

orcs are together, they believe in each other, they make things happen. That's a real thing. It's amazing. And then you just go, hey, we need more of this. And all of a sudden, you go, I need guys to be more durable. And then they just

decide there's a guy that makes you more durable. Why? More durable. Why does that work? Because you think it works. They're the most powerful species. And this is why sometimes you have an entire unit that doesn't have a head.

Because the pain boy said you guys are fine. I am going to continue this podcast every podcast. Ork's are the most powerful species in the galaxy. There's actual stories about almost dead orc units, but they're convinced that they're fine, even though they're dead that make charges. And literally, it's not undead.

They just all believe they're still alive. I'm still alive. There's guys with literal holes through their chest. And they're like, yeah, but the guy in charge said that I'm okay. So I'm going to go over there and hit that guy. I'm fine. He said you're fine. grab your weapon and go.

Another key point of orcs are odd boys, which is, no, just great name for them, which is a specialized orcs. Specialized orcs. They're just born with knowledge, and they can do things like doctors. Now again, we say doctor. It's not a doctor. They literally stitch people back the other. There's orcs who grow up.

But it's wild, though, because they have like literally guys that do, I mean, one, they just know that psychics happen. Oh, did I mention the fact that? that they get better with psychics if there's more people around me. Because they all believe in my ability to be a psycher. Yeah. That's how this works. We've got.

And maybe I blow up because too many people believe in me. That's actually a bad loss for 10th edition. That was one of the best parts of 8th and 9th edition was that year. Well, I got 30 boys nearby. I'm going to roll this. All right. I rolled a 14. They really believe in me, but they believed a little too hard.

Now I'm very exploded. God, really, sorry, I'm going to bitch about 10th edition. If we keep going on that, but orcs are, we have orcs for food. We have orcs for logistics. We have org drivers because if you're going to go fast. Well, you have to believe again. Well, you have to believe you go fast and paint your car ready. The next species within there are Gretchen, which are also known as Grots.

And the Grots legitimately fix everything. They make everything and they kind of make Ork Society go. Yeah, they fix it. They clean stuff. They load all the weapons from them because Orks can't figure that one out. They actually are fun ones. They actually run black markets where they sell guns because Orks do have a currency of teeth. We'll cover that at some point.

Teeth, thank you very much. Teeth. Yeah, of teeth. And it's with an F. So the Gretchen are actually the smart ones. And we'll cover Brain Boys probably in another episode because it's kind of a fun one all side. They're different. Yeah, it's different.

But where they kind of come from. but Gretchen are actually the more intelligent, but they're diminutive in size. The Gretchen orc relationship is great. I mean, they're not even close. I mean, the Gretchen are, what, a quarter? Yeah, quarter of the size. But the cool thing is the Gretchen like their relationship

because, yeah, they kind of abused and whatever, but they're very safe because they're surrounded. They also ride on top of other orcs. Gretchen do a lot of cool things through the orcs, but they also are used in warfare, and they're used in some of my favorite. ways. Amarons? Well, screw Ammonauts. Someone cares about that.

How do you now love amortons? They're fine, but really we're going to compare them to being the actual weapon. I mean, that's pretty awesome. That's not going. Like, we've got grot bomb pilots, which is a grot in a rocket that gets shot at things

and they steer it into... They also fly all of the planes. They fly all of the planes. They also will get entombed into a kill a can. They manage gun crews, though. So like all the big guns, they shoot them. They drive actually a lot of the vehicles because they have better vision.

Hold on. Do they drive? Are they think they drive all of them? No. The battle wagons and the... No, I'm not talking about transports. I'm talking about the actual like the... So they are the drivers. Yeah, it's this thing through. Yeah, so all the planes, or fly out most of them. All the planes, all the guns.

All my guns. Yeah. The killikans. I don't know. They're a big part of Gorkanauts and stompas. They shoot all the guns. They show that. They also do the gargants and the starships. They're all, it's all the stuff. Yeah.

So they're important. They do all the logistics. They do most of the cooking, actually. They load all the weapons. They shoot, they run all the big guns. They are actually in driving all the big vehicles and are ammunition. What? They seem legit.

They are incredible. And for those of us who play 40K competitively, they hold objectives better than most things in the game. I can't believe. He brought up snoutlings. We'll be right back after a quick break. Can't go out of snotlings. Snoutlings are pointless. Well, no, snotlings are food.

So, snotlings are a smaller version of a grot. They are used for a couple different things. They actually can be food sometimes. They heard a lot of the orcs squigs. The squigs will also be the snotlings. But the snotlings have a very important role. And the important role is there's a shock attack gun in the game. because they get jammed in the back and they get fired out the front.

But wait a second, what's in the middle? The warp. Sometimes things change between now and then. This is a gun, and for those of us who play orcs, we love this gun, even though it's kind of sucked for about six years. This is a gun that has a vacuum in the back that sucks a snotling through the vacuum, spins it through it, speeds it up to warp travel speed, and fires it out the front at an enemy. Weirdly enough, snoutlings are always snoutlings. Yeah.

Like, everything else gets better. They're just snoutlings. Except for snoutlings. Snoutlings, sorry, snoutlings. You are always snoutlings. The last one, though, is another, is actually, I'm going to keep saying my favorite because I don't have a favorite in orcs. I love the fact that you said everything's your favorite.

Because they're all fantastic. Squigs. Now, whoopsie. squigs we're gonna i'm gonna jump to what a squig is and talk about how great they are squigs are twigs are taranids well hold on a ripper swarm sometimes is a squig squig squirm so like let's talk about the movie aliens but aliens happens on board an orc vessel yeah which is effectively what happened in aliens with humans they killed the humans they hunted them down and everybody was terrified When aliens happened on an orc vessel, the aliens showed up in the org vessel.

No one was terrified. And they went, oh, look at this pretty alien. And they made it a pet. Yeah. And they bred it. They took it home on a leash. From a can, this is canon. The first race in the Milky Way to encounter tyrannids were the orcs who made them pets.

They domesticated them immediately. Like this thing's awesome. They legitimately put them on a leash and went, oh, we're just going to ride them. Let's just have some fun with squigs for a bit. So squigs vary in size from a thing that's actually on a stick that you chew on, all the way up to something called an orcasaurus. Which is a giant dinosaur. So the orcs for, who knows how many millions of years, have been breeding, growing.

And the best part is, by the way, some of the squids, some of the squids, some of the squigs, they've domesticated to blow up. Oh, squigs are just awesome. Oh, what do you do with them? Oh, I didn't mean they blew up genetically. I mean, they made them. I strapped a bomb on. I strapped bombs to them, and I made them super friendly.

So they run and want to play with whatever it is in front of them. Space Marine. And I mean, any of you who've had a dog run towards you with joy, that, imagine it's, it's a dog with a ton of dynamite on it. Just running out and going,

I want to be your friend. You want, please don't. And there's so much dynamite on the squig. Squigs are awesome. Squigs, they, they're rides.

So for Squaghog boys, squagoths, they have not, they have not let me build an orcasaurus yet, but the second they do, looking your way forward. Be gigantic. Look in your way, Forge World, you know.

But again, you sell a mantas, you can sell an orcasaurus. What is probably the scariest thing in the galaxy? And the orcs immediate reaction was, we should make this our pet. And also, boo on you, tyrantids. The orcs were able to make a gargantuan squigoth. And what did you give us? A dimic-my-caron? That's adorable.

Weak. Weak-sau. A gargantuan squig-off is a hundred times squig-off. cooler. They're also. And we can ride them. Yeah. We can ride them.

Open top 20. They are also used for weapons. There are squigs who they use for oiling their weapons. There are bomb squigs. They strap bombs to. Hold on. You're not going to do the alliteration that you already set up. Screw you.

I got this. Go. Bombs quakes. Burn a squig. Boom squig. Buddy squigs. Buddies. I did do that by accident.

So I, for our notes, I kind of, I capitalize the, I have the rides, the orcs, the squigs that you ride, then the weapons. And yeah, the oil, bomb, but also boom. And this is an important distinction. A bomb squig is a friendly squig I put dynamite on. A boom squig blows up on its own. True story. Yeah. And my favorite one, though, is still bitey squigs.

Guess what bitey squigs do? Wait for it? They're pretty aggressive. They're pretty aggressive, yeah. They're not that domesticated. And they're kept on leashes and war bosses carry them so that you get extra attacks. And the squigate. They legitimately just let them go.

And then they try to murder whatever is in front of them. Yeah, they just want to bite, bite, bite, bite, bite. You also have your buddy squigs, like your attack squigs and your herd squigs. Equally enjoyable. I do love the fact that they literally have herd squigs. Yeah. You have shepherd squigs. You have a literally dog.

The other squigs. Look, squigs are not going to hurt themselves. I've had that dog and it is a dumb dog. They can be. I've also had herding dogs. Heard squig, herds quig, Burmese bond dog. Same thing. Oh, I was trying to cattle dog.

He was smart, but he was also kind of a dick. Mine was not. Yeah. Then you have your food squigs, chewing squig. And again, if you don't take joy in the naming mechanics that orcs use, I can't help you with this one. The fact that the gobs quig is literally a chicken. Well, you know it.

The difference is a chewing squig. The chewing squig is an overly tough piece of meat. He's the beef jerky. The gobs quig is literally your meal. It's KFC. But they also, these are alive, by the way. A chewing squig, they chew on a chewing squig. Oh, yeah.

It just squeaks while you bite down onto it and just keep, because you get this something to do. When an orc needs to do some thinking, they grab a chewing squig, which is a squishy squig on a stick, and they just gnaw on it while it squeaks, and they do their thinking. A gobs quig is when you're a little bit hungry, and you're throwing it in your mouth, and you chew on your gobs squib. Again, it's a bucket of KFC, but an orc bucket.

So, yeah, it is, squigs are great. But I just want to bring back to this important point here. They're tyrannists. and squigs are in my mind a, well, do tyrants have, they have, well, tyrants do have a boom squig effectively because we have spormone. They still have a warp entity. They're breeding warped entities and they don't care.

I'm just going back into the fact that orcs captured and domesticated tyrantids and their version of tyrantids might be better than tyrantids. Yeah, they also, again, eat them, use them as weapons and also sometimes pets. Yeah, and sometimes pets and ride them around. Yeah. The irony here I want to point out to when we touched this last episode briefly is there is a belief in the 40K group that tyrannids are old ones.

I like the idea that the creature that created the orcs, the orcs have now domesticated. Yes. And chew on when they want to do some thinking. By the way, accidentally. with no plan whatsoever. Just happened. Like, these things look cool.

Because plans are dumb. I mean, I can guarantee you, the first orc met a tyrant, the tyrant bit the orcs arm off and the rest of the orcs went, that's our new pet. Like, that thing's awesome. We're keeping this. Like, everything else has shot at us or run away and this thing tried to bite us. Let's make it friends. I've been waiting to do this part for a while now.

Here we go. We're about to dive into. I have to save us for the end of this episode. John's literally going to, it shooed me away. By the way, I'm going to be edited out of so much of my own episode here. Of course, yeah. One of the greatest pieces about orc is the power of belief. Yeah, if you couldn't hear that sound, that was sound of Brad rubbing his hands together with excitement.

The entire- There's so many things to talk about. We're just going to do for a while. The great, orc's greatest power is their power of belief. Okay. Orcs psychically believe things into being. Not, okay, they don't, no, no, it's bigger than that. Tirinids, secularity.

Eldar psychically believes something and it manifests. Orcs affect the universe with their thought. They just make things happen into being, and that's just how they are. One of my, I'm going to give two back-to-back stories about orcs being awesome and believing things. One, this is from an inquisition stories. humans, the Inquisition, has captioned an organ. That was a lot of work, by the way. Yes.

And he has a, they throw down a bolter, which is a slug-out, sorry. Yeah. For them, which is literally a piece of metal, literally. A scrap metal kind of shaped like a gun. Yeah, it's, it's, you just took a- chamber, there's no ammunition, there's no pin. There's nothing. Yeah, there's no barrel.

It is literally if you just took your welding torch and carved approximately what a gun would look like out of a piece of steel. And no one could figure out why I would, what is he even happening? And they had an orc and they unleashed him from his cage and he grabbed that piece of metal and shot everybody

and had made it happen because well, clearly that's a gun. That's my gun. And it shoots ammo. And if I go, if I go this way, it makes boom boom noises and things die. Yes. What's the issue? The next better part is orc, ships, orcs, not real precision welders, wide open spaces in their spaces.

But they just believe that they're spaceships. So they just fly into space because, well, I was told it's a spaceship. So clearly it's a spaceship. Obviously, it's a spaceship. And then when people board the spaceship and they go, hey, this ship has three to four feet. between all of the walls, it's not even air, it's not even just not airtight.

This isn't water, this isn't anything tight. This is, there's no atmosphere in here in the York. And they're going, yes, of course there is. I just believe that there is.

I'm sitting, I'm breathing, so obviously there's atmosphere. So all of their ships are literally, scrap heaps. Yeah, they're basically, hey, I've got 70 to a thousand pieces of metal. If you weld them

together and we all believe that they can fly. They just do. And you're like, that's not a real thing. Yes, it for sure is. And this, when we say this like warps with their power, they are the most powerful species in the galaxy because their abilities actually warp the reality around them. Yes. By the way, those things keep happening for other people. It's not like they just believe. So ready? The Marines show up on an orc vehicle or an orc spaceship. And they're, they show up and they're like, hey, there's four feet of space between every piece of metal in here. Yeah. There's still atmosphere. It works for the Marines. The Marines have atmosphere too. They are still traveling through the warp when they're traveling through the warp because they just

decided that they are. And one of my favorite things is the note of, it's Peter Pan. Because it just is. But for murder. But for murder. But the biggest thing is that they just believe things happen and they do because again, they're the roadrunner of 40K. Yeah. It's 100%. I'm going to draw a tunnel in this rock. It just happens. Just run through the tunnel.

And the thing is that that's the reason that they're most powerful, but then they're most fun because they don't know that they're the most powerful. They don't understand. Because if they had any self-awareness, they would have already dominated the galaxy a couple million years ago. We would be an orc galaxy. So some of my favorite ones, one of my favorite ones about orcs is colors. The orcs have a genuine belief that things are a certain way they're better. The most commonly known one is red.

But if they paint something red, it is faster. Brad's about to get really mad about the carnage of the game. Okay. Because I know where he's coming from because I believe it was seventh edition. Oh, this makes me so. This was forever. No, this is forever until then. Until eight.

Yeah. Orcs went faster if you painted them red, period. It was the rule. Not if you just had a orc vehicle that was red, you got an inch faster. One inch more movement. That affected everything. So if you paint it red, red goes faster. Yellow hits harder.

Yellow explodes more. If you painted your weapon yellow, it exploded more. Yellow rockets. It was obviously more powerful. Duh, everybody knows that. Of course, it's more powerful. My favorite one, though, was actually blue. Because it's lucky.

Blue, duh. Blue is lucky. Everybody knows this. A red truck would go faster than a non-red truck. A yellow rocket would explode bigger. But a blue orc actually affected reality. and was harder to hit. Which is why you made your shock attack guns blue

because they just rolled better on the chart. But if you try to shoot a blue, a blue vehicle orc, you would miss more. Yes, because you'd roll once because it's lucky. It would dodge them. I don't know why you're saying this, John. These are realities that you need to accept and move on. If you need to make a very sneaky orc, you paint it purple.

Now, unfortunately, no one's going to be able to see it because no one's ever seen a purple orc. And that's because they're just that sneaky. And the reason I like that story is that there might be actually be purple orcs. Like, that's how powerful their belief is. It is entirely possible that there are millions of purple orcs in 40K of that are just winning wars and no one can see them. I'm throwing this out there right now because I am that kind of person. Could someone please paint me one unit of purple? commandos. No. I will never deploy them. You can't see them. That's my point.

They give you, they will give you back 10 bases. Ooh, I like that a lot. This would be the better way. And if you're, if you're running a tournament and you'll allow me to do this, I will happily show up with just bases. And that is my purple army. She can't see them at all. I'll paint the bases. And I will paint the bases. I will, I will add texture. I would do the bases. There will be no models of the bases. because you cannot see a purple orc. And I assume the only downside is that then would I be able to run the invisible space wolf from 7th edition? Do we end up actually making this unfun? We just said staying there together.

Yeah, they just become unfun. One thing that also makes orcs super funny is they travel through the warp, but they don't realize that they do. They just want to be in another place. They just appear somewhere. And so you will have stories. literally of orcs falling out of the sky, where space marines have engaged the orcs

and they're fighting and the battle is close, it's going well, and the sky opens up and a million orcs fall out of the sky onto the ground because orcs communicate with each other, but not nay, like I'm calling you on the phone. They just sense that someone's having a good fight. You can't even set.

Orks, no. Orks just know there's a good fight somewhere. They don't sense. No. Right, yes, that sense. This is confidence. No. And they will appear somewhere out of the sky, falling out of the sky, because there's a good fight. And the thing is, is that orcs don't travel with a predetermined where we have to go.

Orks travel with a, I need a good fight. Take me to the good fight. which is a fun little side note here is that if you are in a member of the Imperium and you don't want to get killed by orcs, just be on a planet with no space marines. They'll never show up. Yeah, they need a fight. They'll never show up. The tyrantids will run right over you. Everyone will run right over you.

It doesn't work out all the way. Yeah, you'll get ruined by chaos. A bunch of other stuff is going to kill you. But the orcs are only going to show up when there's a big fight to happen. They have no interest in it. The problem is that when they show up, all of them show up. Well, that's a bigger thing. Or there's a beautiful spacecraft.

Screw this. I actually adjust to my seat for this one. I'm going to get psyched up for this one because I'm going to talk about the law. Yeah. Let's get into the wall. When we get started, the more orcs that show up, the more the log increases. If you get a big enough fight, all of the orcs. and I don't mean some of the orcs.

I mean all of the orcs. It depends how big of a fight it is. So, I don't know. Let's say Gaskell starts a fight, which is how Gaskell became Gaskell, which is he started the biggest fight in the galaxy, and all of the orcs noticed because orcs don't think they know. There's a fight to be had.

They didn't sense it. They knew that there was a fight to be had. The bigger the fight, the bigger the wog, the more orcs that know. Orcs either, orcs are, there is no try. Orcs are binary. We are there. There is either do or do not. There is, you know about a fight or you don't know about a fight.

When you know about a fight, well, you go to the fight. There's no second option here. No, there's just, you go to the fight. we're going to travel through the warp. I don't care about the warp. I'm just going to show up. And orcs in the warper actually, I really just can't harp on this enough.

It's one of the funnest parts of this because they seem to have been imbued with the power of the warp by the old ones. They ignore all the bad things. But you never got any of the bad things. They just, well, their heads do explode sometimes. They just don't accept that the warp has anything in it.

Because they don't, the demons want to mess with them, but the orcs don't. know they exist. So for the orcs, they don't exist. Let's do that story. We're going to close this episode on one more orc story, because don't worry, this is not, we're doing another orc episode next. We're not even close.

Corn. This is actually hilarious. This is one of the best stories ever. So, a orc war boss and tribe got in a battle with a number of corn demons and defeated them.

And then the corn demons rose up and killed them back. And Corn watched this and went, well, this is the greatest species in the galaxy. I want this battle to keep happening. Forever. Forever. So there is a small section of the warp

where an orc war boss and his tribe are perpetually reincarnated by corn every day. Every day to fight his armies of chaos. Not because he's trying to improve. prove their fighting prowess or train them on how to fight orcs because it's the greatest fight he's ever seen it's also worldwide yeah it's a it's not like it's not like there's 20 guys fighting in like a temple it's a worldwide battle of orcs on corn demons and corn just watches it with joy every blood for the blood god and been do works have

blood. So much. It's a fantastic. This is why works are great, though. Orcs are great because they are the greatest fighting force in the galaxy. Whoa, John, pull it back. Orcs are great because orcs are great at being orcs. Yeah.

There is nothing better than orcs. They are truly unique. They are fantastic. I mean, it is just a... But they are. The orcs are. have the purest intentions of any race. They were meant to fight, and they keep fighting.

You know how long they've done it? Carried the one, 65 millionaires. Of fighting. And they just travel around the galaxy, smashing their ships into things? You know what they've done different? Nothing. They got the secret recipe.

They're like KFC. They did pick up squigs in the way. At some point, they did domesticate tyranes. Yeah, accidentally. Like, as a side quest. As a side quest. Oh, these things are all. Awesome. Let's make them a pet. Looking at you, Tau.

But from there, before this excitement actually literally overwhelms us, we're going to pause. And we're going to move into our next episode. Our next episode, we're going to dive even further into the orcs. Is it possible? Yeah, because we can, I could do 20 minutes on the orc. We haven't actually done one story, by the way. Oh, we're doing them. That's the next thing. I'm just saying we've talked about orcs, but we haven't talked about, I don't know, Gasco,

Macari, Masrog, Armageddon. Armageddon. Oh, I'm sorry. The biggest orc battle in the last 10,000 years. The biggest battle

in the last 10,000 years. True story, actually. The battle next to a dozen years. Like, we are going to dive pretty heavily into org lore from here on out about history, stories of the orcs, but also talking about individual

orc units. There's no scenario. We're not because of 10 minutes on flash kits. I mean, yeah. You give me orc pirates. It's pirates. Yeah. And they want shiny shit, by the way. Yeah.

Who are not even pirates. I think they might have just caught an old recording of Pirates of the Caribbean and went, yeah. Johnny Depp is my spirit, the animal. I'm going to go wear a hat now. This is awesome. How many necklaces do you have? I mean, I can do it long section on Storm Boys, you know. Space Marines have jet packs.

These guys put an exploding rocket in their back. Which one's cooler? The entire orc line is in and of itself incredible. And we're going to spend a bunch of time on that. So with that, please join us next week for more orc coverage, unless you don't like org coverage, in which case that's your problem. I'm communist. Yeah, I'm John Barside.

This is Bradchester. This guy. Thank you, and we'll see you next week.