The 40k Lorecast - Episode 12 - Ork Leaders being the biggest, greenest, meanest, the sneakiest, and even the brainiest....

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

On today's episode we discuss some of the endless Ork Leaders and their accomplishments both big and large (Orks never have small accomplishments). How big was the beast? Who is stronger the Emperor of Mankind or a random Ork Mekboy? Zagstruk using the ultimate power of belief. And of course Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka.PatreonMerchandiseDiscord Link:Our WebsiteRetro RecallOur Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com* Check out Pebl: https://hellopebl.com* Check out Pebl: https://hipebl.ai* Check out Shopify: https://shopify.com/loreAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to the 40K lore cast. Welcome to the 40K lore cast with me, John Barsati and Bradchester. This guy. All right, Brad, well, we started orcs last week and we are not stopping. So let's keep that train going. Last week, we covered, you know, some pieces of orcs that we both like, you know, how they function, who's in charge. This week, we're going to dive into some of the orc leaders and some of their greatest exploits. Which are innumerous.

They are the perfect species and they are perfect in every way. But like any good orcs, some are more perfect than others. Also, there's a lot to choose from because you have to remember, if you listen to the last, orcs were around, oh yeah, 65 million years ago. And there wasn't a break. There wasn't a necrone. I dug in and slept for, I went past the alarm kind of thing. No, they've been orkin.

They've been orking. And what orc means is they don't put it in the GPS. They just go to random places and do random things. And, well, poor civilization doesn't really progress. It's already good where it is. They didn't take a poetry break. There wasn't, there wasn't, I mean, the good news for them is there was no black plague. The downside for them was there was no renaissance.

There has just been orc. Ork. There's just been orc. Yeah, there are trillions of probably future life forms that do not exist because of the orcs this period time finding their planet before they grew up. And the thing is, is that orcs, let's go into the basics of orcs, though, again. One of the biggest things is, orcs aren't as big of a threat as long as orcs are contained to not having that many other orcs around them.

Orks become more organized, more violent, more powerful, and they also get a purpose. Once you reach a critical mass of orcs, you now have. have the biological imperative to go fuck some shit up. Well, and it's actually cool, you mention it because, I mean, one of the stories I love reading about is that when orcs are on a great crusade and moving across the, across the galaxy, they have to be fighting even within their own ships. Otherwise, they get bored and it kind of almost the plate. They lose the walk.

They actually become weaker, less strong. Like, less actually the people that are pushing it, less intelligent, less driven. they're driven by aggression. They legitimately Eric Banna Hulk out. Look at the movie. That's a long time. Eric Banner. There's been six hulks and you picked. But that's the only one that got bigger

because he got angry. They all did. That's literally what the Hulk does. No, once he was the Hulk, he got bigger Hulk. Okay, fair, but not really. Anyway. I mean, it was bad. It's literally every Hulk, but it's fine.

But the big thing about it is what the reason that they're not, not their reason that their comedy gold is they're hilarious and they're just comedy gold. The reason that they're not taking over the entire galaxy is unbelievable, no organization, but also exactly that. They lose the will, the reason. If you make orcs and pockets of orcs, because orcs have different planets,

they also have different clans who go into much later. Oh, yeah. But, like, you know, you have these different pockets of orcs that just get into squabbles by themselves and they do orc things. But they're not interplanetary. They're not intergalactic. They're just doing things, I say on a system level, which is huge for now. They're only in an entire system of planets doing orc things.

People that are currently trapped on the one planet. Yeah. But yeah. They literally have to have that mass. And that's always led by a leader. Conflict. It's conflict, but it's a leader that brings them to conflict. It's they have to have somebody that.

ignites. They have the impetus. They have the match that lights that. So, and these leaders are all the ones we're talking about are all the matches. They're the people that fired the orcs up and made it a bonfire when some have made it more than a bonfire. So we're going to go through this. We're going to just a bit more freeformly done in the past, but the idea is talk about some of the big stories, but also some of the quick kind of one-off stories that we enjoyed. We're not going to cover the entirety of the orc history because again, this is not about us telling you, you know, all the pieces. It's just these are the stories that we thought were the funniest.

So you're all welcome to start with them. And the one I want, I think we should start with is the Great Crusade. So mankind has to, the emperor has unified mankind. We are going into the stars. This is going to be great. And what's the first Zenos that they run into? Yeah, like, orcs, hello. Hello.

Ooh. And you guys like fighting? we like fighting. So they run into an orc. I wouldn't even call us a wall. It was just a big orc settlement and a plant called Goro. It was mostly though

Meckboy adventure mostly. They were looking for parts basically. And they are literally stalling the Great Crusade. And I want to go back again, we said the last episode, and I'm going to keep harping on it. Orcs on paper,

if you read this without any tone, are terrifying. and they are the most powerful species in the galaxy. So mankind is expanding into the stars with the full support of Mars, the emperor and everything, and they keep hitting walls because there's an orc infestation somewhere.

The emperor decides to put this down. And he goes to- He wants to end them. He doesn't, it's not even just, at that point in time, the emperor is like, we're getting, I'm done with Czech,

kill all of the orcs. Yeah. Not just some of the orcs, but he also didn't realize how widespread it is and how old of a race it was. For him, originally, this is just a segment of the galaxy. Right. And there's just an infestation.

And they're annoying. That's actually true, yeah, because even with his contact with the Imitarium, he wouldn't really know about orcs. They have no real history or anything else. Side question, because I have to say, did the emperor know about the Eldar? I think so. Okay. There's a side question for us that, well, don't worry, we're going to do Eldar episodes.

But anyway, we'll do that. So they decide to go after the main source of it, which is Goro. And one of my favorite parts about Goro is Goro is this massive MEC planet powered by the most powerful plasma technology, possibly in the history of the universe. That they also accidentally made. That there was bored and put it together. The orcs have no idea how this technology works, I might add, but they have the most powerful plasma. Also, if you're modeling up your mech boys and you're not making him look like Doc from back to the future, why not? Yeah, it's fantastic.

They go down to this planet. The emperor and horace invade the planet. As, you know, buddy style, we're going to go and we're going to kill all of the orcs. My favorite part of this is the emperor, who is, we've said before, the most powerful being in the planet. By far. gets knocked on his ass by an orc plasma gun. Because he's also not, has no idea that this is a, you don't think that the orcs have any of this.

They're just dumb. It looks like guys that are running at you with sticks. And then occasionally, oh yeah, they have giant gargants and stompas show up and things that shouldn't exist. And they kill you with guns that they made up names for. And the emperor then one of the mecks boys grabs him and begins crushing his armor at the same way Horace did at the end of the Horace Harris. So a space marine primark fully infused with all the chaos gods was on par with random mech boy who

was angry. And juiced up. Yeah. He was using his new thing he made. Yeah. Now, I will say at this point, Horace did chop that said Ork's arms off. And then he and the emperor, I think my note here says went double. dragon on the rest of the or clan.

Oh, they pummeled the orcs. You, uh, unfortunately, apparently, you did just like it, the movies where you have the, the hero is getting beat up and then gets upset about something and then goes super cyan. They went super sion. Every orc in the planet was killed. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it was just the two of them might have actually been incapable of it.

But I think the whole point of the story is simply this was not even, this wasn't a This wasn't even a war boss. This was a mech. The orcs also considered this a good scrap. Yeah, orcs were happy. This actually probably in some ways, I don't know, in quotes, doomed mankind because the orcs discovered these are a fun fight. Well, that's the thing is, is they found out that there's really good enemies because also

orcs, every time until now in the Great Crusade, every time they encountered humanity, there was never a good fight. Yeah, it was just kind of like, yeah, they're just like, well, they, they, they, they, literally leave. Yeah. Because orcs aren't the good guys, but they're not the bad guys. They're just orcs. Yeah, they're not psychopaths.

And if we keep talking about this, it's why when you're playing 40K, one of the one of the challenges is in picking an army. We're going to dive more and later into a thing like why Brad and I both play orcs. It's not just a competitive reason. But thing is, it's fun about orcs. And you don't feel bad playing. Yeah, they're the bad guy. But are they?

They're just. They are. They are. But they're not, they're not sitting there. The orcs never want to go. like I said, destroy a civilian planet. No, they're looking for, again, a good scrap.

They're looking for a battle. That's it. And that's what gets them going, which actually probably leads us into our next one, the War of the Beast. Now, before we even get into this, and we're going to definitely get a couple things wrong because I've audio booked this,

like six times because I keep falling asleep in the middle of it. And then, uh, if KR actually, I'll give him props on this. He goes, have you read this? And I go, yes and no, because I've fallen asleep to it. like seven times.

I've been present to it being read to me. Yeah. So, but I really like this because this is the first time mankind really gets a taste of what the orcs can be. Yeah. And it's actually, they've had some mass arcs before, but they haven't had.

I believe this is the first war. We'll get corrected because the one, the only downside about doing a podcast on orcs is you're going to get corrected. Yeah. And for all of you correcting me, I appreciate it. I'm just, As far as mankind knows, I think this is the first.

This is that first. You know, we might be wildly wrong, but I think it is. I do a good amount of research for these things before we put them out. This is the first one I have because the Ulinaur wasn't really a law. It was a set. It was a centerpiece of an orc army, of an orc empire. Same with the Great Crusade with Lord. Everything I'm reading tells me this was the first time the orcs organized.

And so the orcs organizing came to them. They weren't just in the way or happened to be. Because before all these meetings in the crusade are Imperium expansion. Yeah. And they're meeting orcs. And then the orcs gathered on wherever the hell the Imperium was. You know, they came. Oh, you're at Olenar, for instance.

Everybody from around came there. But like now this is the first time the orcs are actively going in a vector. They're going this way. Let's set the stage for this, though. We are 1,000 years after the Horacee. Mankind's number one focus has been reunify old planets, kill chaos. That's what they're going on. Also, pause.

If you want to be perfectly honest now, kill chaos, kill anyone that knows that chaos might exist. There's a few, there might be some purging of some records. Yeah. Like, we're just going to pretend that didn't happen. Mankind is kind of pursuing threats. This feeds the worst thing possible, which is orcs. The planet didn't matter, but the battle did. So we start rocking.

We're scrumming. We're Queensberry styling it. There's so much me using hand gestures right now. None of you can see it. I get all of the Brad hand gestures. Brad has a lot of mannerisms that none of you get to see. But the best part is they give a Star Wars moment here because they literally go, What, that's that small moon coming at us.

That's no moon. And it's literally orcs who just MacGyvered effectively a moon. They just a giant, I mean, it's a metal, same a moon. They took a bunch of space scrap and made a circle. Yeah, they did. Well, I'm saying they basically, they took an asteroid and started, just kept putting stuff on it until it was a giant heap. the 18 McGiver,

I'm using all my 80s references, but they make this literal attack piece of garbage that's as big as a moon. And lands. You just said land. Full quotations, air quotes on it. Smashes into it.

We have to make Brad happy here. Hey, Brad, was there a space marine chapter that was in charge of defending this? I mean, probably the worst, most feeble chapter of all time. So for those who I figure were going, it was defended. by Imperial Fists.

They got ruined. And the Imperial Fist, get, keep going to go back to why I love orcs. The best space marine chapter at building defenses and repelling invaders went down like a sack of potatoes.

That's because no one else decided to drive a moon. Yeah, that it was true. In all of Rogaldorne's teaching, he never taught them, well, what if our opponents don't have to follow the laws of physics? build a giant piece of metal with guns sticking out of it and attack us. Also, you said land, they crashed and ignored the laws of physics and reentry into a planet's

atmosphere and just drove it. Same chapter that held the entire Horace heresy at bay. Yeah, they did not do it here. Orks. This fell in like an hour and a half. Just straight through. Because they also landed said moon in the, the main. It don't one, like, hey, it would be way easier and more convenient for us to fight if we land on top of the tower of the fortress that we're going to get.

This, though, got worse because we took the one planet. It wasn't just that the orcs were targeting, though. True story. It was the entire system plus. I mean, it's actually a segmentum. The exact segmentum is actually a group of solar systems, effectively. A portion of the Milky Way all of a sudden began to burn. At the same time, it was a huge, again, orcs accidentally made,

and again, this is a 1,000% accidental. It's not like they sat and they diagram this Ocean's 11th style heist-wise. They psychically all attacked at the exact same time. Now, the entire galaxy is, beginning to burn. This is a worse invasion than the Horace heresy, which was, I'm going to use the word only here, a thousand years prior, but mankind has not fully recovered from Horace Heresy. Horace, remember, just wanted to get the soul. He was doing some little things here and there, but he had a purpose. The Yorks are just trying to kill every space marine that they can

find because it's a fight. They're only trying to get into fights, too. This stage, this is the greatest We have not literally talked about the fact that it's the war of the beast because the orc leading it is the beast. The orcs are being led by a super war boss named the beast. And for those of you who know I'm wrong on that, I know too we're getting there. We already had this argument, by the way. Yeah, it's like, don't worry, we're getting there. Let's remember, the orcs are doing this. This is galaxy wide.

They're also fighting the Eldar, the dark Eldar, the tower around at this point, I believe. So this is like the third and the second. Tau now, Tau not yet. All right. Well, they were, the Tau kept their heads low. They're also way to the east. Way to the east. Still, they're fighting, the orcs are fighting everyone now.

As the force is coming closer. Just sorry, we have our notes going on, and one of it in the middle of nowhere, John just writes, suck it, emperor. Mankind decides to figure out. where this invasion's coming from, and they realize it's Ulanor, which is why I wrote, Suck it Emperor.

You had a, you conquered the orcs on Ollanor. You held a big parade. And where are the orcs, where's your next giant orc invasion coming from? Your stupid parade planet. You stupid parade planet. Which, by the way,

is going to come up again and again and again. Maybe they should have built a, I'm just done out there, they should have built a Death Star and blown the planet up because Olinar is going to come up a lot. Yeah, like, orcs infest places. Yeah, and they don't like losing.

So. Well, it's not even though they don't even like losing. The orcs go back to where they know a good fight is to be held. That's a good point. Yeah. Because I don't even know if orcs are looking for winning losses. You're right. It's not about revenge. It's actually the opposite revenge.

It's like, ooh, I want a shot at that. Every time we go here, we have a great fight. So we're going back. Yeah, like I'm for sure going there. They don't want to go to a agro planet, you know. Or agriculture, not agri-agricultural plant. They want to go to an agro-plan. Yeah.

Not an agricultural planet. They want to get in fights. They leave sometimes. And besides Yorick, there's been a bunch of times when they just went, there's no Marines here. Yeah, I'm going on. You guys are lame. This guys are dudes. This is for everyone I hit in the head just dies.

Yeah. I haven't even hit one guy that hit me back. Yeah. I'm not a hard hit. Like, uh, let the Gretchen do it. Together, the Imperium decides. they have to go and cut the head off the beast, actually. And they go to Oennaud using one of Brad's buddies.

Vulcan. Who is back again. You know, because he's an immortal. He's going to keep coming back. So basically, they send Vulcan. And it's easy to get Vulcan to do anything because they're like, oh, no, the people are having a bad time. And Vulcan is the only good guy in the freaking galaxy, by the way. screw you anybody that thinks anybody's the good guys.

There are people in danger in Vulcans, like, I'm going. I'm on my way now. There is because orcs aren't known for not having collateral damage. Yes, they're looking for a good scrap. They want to fight the best warriors, but also, they're not real worried about whether their tactics. I own an English bulldog, and Brad has seen what my dog does when she must get from point A to point B.

There's collateral damage. My four and a half year old to be in between. He's getting knocked to the damn ground because Bulldog wants some pets. The Orcs are the same way. And the thing is, is the orcs, again, not the bad guys.

Definitely not the good guys, though. Oh, no. So Vulcan's well motivated. It's 100% on this. I love this story. They land. They fight their way to the temple and the temple.

There is a giant, this temple in the middle of Olenar. And we say temple, by the way. it's not polished edges Notre Dame. It's the biggest hunk of metal. In my mind, it is definitely Notre Dame. Yeah, Brett's going to the way. My viewpoint is, because unlike Brett,

I have a small child, is what happens with a small child builds with blocks. It starts at one point and ends at another. Probably disobeys the laws of physics because that's how they wanted to build it. Well, the biggest thing is, is that, and that of the biggest, one of the things about this is it's massive.

Like you put statue, there's a statue of the beast, it's not a statue. It is a colossal 30 foot metal structure. Because in the stories, they keep adding to it. Everybody that comes down to say that they're going to fight for him because there's different clans of orcs. Everybody that wants to fight for the beast

effectively chuck some stuff onto the statue. Yeah. They're in the temple and they're looking around trying to find the beast. They're going to cut the head off this monster. And all of a sudden, that giant statue, Yeah, that's true. Gets up.

Turns out it's not a statue. It's a 30-foot or covered in armor. But the jankiest stuff, because again, it's all stuff that was offered a tribute that he's just wearing. I'm just saying, imagine someone that is, you go into the, no, you're going to the dragon's hoard and a guy is wearing the dragon's hoard. I was going with Mr. T.

Yes. I was going with Mr. T. but like everywhere. Because I'm saying, he's just, he's literally wearing the horde of stuff that other orcs gave to the beast. He just has it.

Like he's, it's on him. And this is fantastic, by the way. If you can't imagine a giant orc. Yeah. A 30-foot ork fighting Vulcan. Yes.

With his hammer. But he's also covered in what orcs think is treasure too. So it's like a license place. I was just making a ton of noise. Yeah. Lights reflecting over. You're fighting a disco ball of garbage.

Right. Yeah. Vulcan, and we can, we could, I'm not going to give the story justice here, so I'm going to skip ahead. Vulcan in the beast fight, Vulcan eventually realizes that he can't kill the beast. But also, he knows a way to get rid of the beast because wait a second, a beast, are you an eternal? Yeah, you're a perpetual. Perpetual. Are you a perpetual?

No, cool. I'm going to go ahead and grab your ass. Yeah, how is this place powered by org technology? which, by the way, not OSHA approved. Yeah. Yeah, for some reason, the generator wasn't well in case. Yeah. And just throws himself.

I mean, they also have effectively a warp engine. Yeah. On a planet, unshielded. Unshielded. Volcan do his credit, sees it, hits him in the head real hard, and then the two, and grabs him and does that, like, movie thing where you grab the bad guy and jump, you know, I don't know. The 80s action movie, duh.

Exactly. Dive into the end. Slow motion, of course. Yeah. This is completely slow motion. Into the generator, which explodes, kills the beast, kills Vulcan, sort of, you know. Technically does kill him. I mean, no one has been killed more than him.

Well, you don't really get to get killed more than him. True. Two more perpetuals. You know, I mean, like, let's go. I can. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like. For Malcador.

Yeah, exactly. It's like Malcador. That's him and Malcador. There's a couple others, I think. but that's the ones that we know of. There's probably some guy named Tim who's on some random planet again. He's just not having a good time.

Sing holy fight. It is only a perpetual. Yeah, Tim's just a perpetual. He's been through four-tiered invasion. Absolutely no other, no powers whatsoever. No powers. He just gets eaten over and over and over and over. It sucks so much.

Yeah. So this, wild air quotes, this disperses the orc resistance. Well, yeah, The orcs stop fighting and the space marines go, cool, they leave the planet. And as soon as they get up, my next note here is an orc is never beaten. Because all they hear on their comms over and over again is I am slaughter, I am slaughter, I am slaughter over and over again. Well, it's important to note that this isn't like what happened after you got killed for an hour.

This goes on for weeks. Weeks. Yeah. The only thing in the Imperial Force is saying, but we killed him. I guess we missed. The next one up is an Imperial Fist named Corland, who was, I believe, it was the head of the Imperial Fists at this point,

or what was left of them, because the beast killed them all, decides, all right, well, we're killing. Somehow Vulcan didn't get him, and I don't think Vulcan has resurrected yet. So I'm going to grab a group of assassins and sisters and custodry and space marines. He brings the most motley crew of everybody.

And also at this time, it is very fractured at this point in time. Yeah, we're still a thousand years out. Yeah. Well, I'm saying, but Imperium forces are very odd at this point, isn't it? Because we have a lot of forces that are not full force. So they show up with just yes. Yeah, whoever raised their hand.

Right. It's kind of like, hey, we're going to go fight this thing and people volunteer. Because there's still a point in time where you could just grab everybody from this area of the galaxy that was Imperium and go, you got to come with me. Yeah, we have to go deal with this. So they get there. they have to literally sacrifice spaceships to land it on the planet because the orc defenses are so, so strong.

Let's, we, we should, we should dig in. Pause on this, because this isn't like a, hey, they were strong because there was a couple of guys working out in gym shorts, uh, picking fights. The orcs had made, because they saw what Titans were, I think. Yeah. And just decided, hey, man, let's make some of them.

We should do that. And also, they keep doing stuff from us from the sky. What happens if we made just big guns that shot things? Where? In the sky? Like in the air? No. In orbit.

In fact, tractor cannons become their thing. So they also, one of my favorite, and we're going to do an episode, don't worry. We're going to do an episode on orc weapons. Don't get me wrong. But we'll spoil it now. The orcs make a gun that grabs things and pulls them and slams. and then slams them into the earth. Correct.

It's not like a tractor beam. It literally says, effectively, I shoot you and I pick another point and then you just get holding to that point. And I try and you want to slam you into it. So they have these gigantic Titans.

Yeah, I mean, these are above. It's a gargants, meca gargans, which are, I want to put out, like when we talk, those of us who play the game, when you talk like an imperial,

if you've ever seen a gorkanot versus a knight, a knight has legs, and it walks around, it's mobile, does this thing. A gorkanaut is a pyramid. It's wide as at the base and narrows to the top. It looks like a penguin walker.

Because that's how orcs build things. They just kind of, well, it has to go tall. I don't know. Keep adding to it. And it gets bigger and bigger. It's kind of like that statue, which wasn't a statue. It's just a bunch of shit thrown on it.

And the thing orcs like on their walkers are lots and lots and lots of guns. One thing that I love about this story is mankind is landing on these. planets fighting orcs they're dumb they're green they're wildly not ready for this though yeah that's a point before they have no idea that they're going to make these things because all of the time before it was hand-to-hand it was some shooting but it was like the trucks and small mechanized things it was fighting a resistance force kind of thing and all of a sudden you're like yeah man they have titans yeah somehow yeah they saw our titans and went oh all right and you're like how long did it take them to build those you're like in a

time that is not actually realistically possible. We're not sure, but they're all here now. Yeah. They just decided that they could make this. They breached the palace because the orcs aren't going to move anything. It's, they get in there. There is another. There is a 30-foot beast.

I use the word another because a lot of you know where I'm going with this, but where I can get there yet. Also, I cannot recommend to get off these books. This is actually some of the better writing, especially a post-heresy. This is probably more than the, be one of the best ones they can post-nerner. It's just, it's really fun.

The orcs are just a funny, orcs are always fun, but this is hilarious. They go in, they realize what they could do maybe is using a pariah to use, effectively invert the warp power. Let's pause real quick. Parias are negative as, basically, things that don't have an imprint in the warp. They don't have psychic. They effectively don't have a soul.

They don't show up in the warp. And so the pariah actually attacks not the war boss, but the weird boys around him. Creates, for those of us who played eighth edition and rolled a 14 on our jump, the orc weird boys begin exploding. And that force actually kills the giant, the beast. Because again, orcs are effectively made of. They're made of like they're not always able to manifest it, but they are made of it. Now only is it kill the beast, but it actually takes the entire planet and they all just become disabled.

Well, they psychically shocked. Again, real quick on this, to back up, we touched on it multiple times, but I want to really hammer it home. All orcs, like Eldar have this sophisticated tendrils of psychic energy. We're all connected. Yes, I can always feel the orb. Orcs are literally railroad tracks of psychic energy connects everybody. That's just a.

thing. Yeah. It's just, it's a hard wire. It is the Christmas extension cord that is 15 extension cords tucked together that they're duct taped and they frayed about 18 times, but your dad refuses to throw it away. Yeah. Orcs are a fire hazard. That is the connection that orcs have to each other. It already is bad and they set explosives off inside everybody. They've now killed the beast again. At least they think so for a matter of maybe two minutes because in right after they kill this this beast you know what screw this we're doing this right now is the beast the same all the time is it another incarnation of the same entity we're discussing this at lunch no there are six of them i don't believe i believe reading the books

i believe that there are six beasts they are they are all it's a weird one could they be like orc clones so not like clone i think they're a collective of the same same entity. It could be that as soon as you kill one, he just possesses the next. That's what I think. I think because the orc psyche can be transferred, and we'll show that later too.

Either way, a new beast walks in the room and kills everyone in the room. Like now, now. Because everybody's standing around and they think they've won, and then another version of the boss shows up in 100% health and just murders everybody

kind of before they know they're in a They just get ruined. Just walks in. We did it. High five, guys. He doesn't challenge anybody. He doesn't do anything. He just starts wrecking.

Starts wamping and now I'll get wamped. Obviously, the Imperium has to try again. You know. They start cheating, though. This time they cheat. And they do realize what worked last time could work really well. And they make a bomb out of a captured or psycher. Yes.

And they also bring the sister. of silence. They build what they call an anti-wa device, which I've also seen written described as an inverted wa. So instead of, you just bring this bomb, he goes off and he sucks all this like energy out of every orc within a certain radius. And as Bradstead... Which is hilarious because they literally tried to defeat the orc horn. Yeah. This vicious horde, unstoppable killing machine by making them sad. Yes. Well, they just kind of give up. I mean, That's really what they do. This actually does work.

For those of you who want more details on this, read the books. I mean, I'm not doing it justice, but that is kind of what they did is... They made a sad bomb and all the orcs. It did kill the beasts. And then the rest of the orcs were just like, well, I mean, what's the point? Also, there's like two or three more actually epic beast fights that were just glossing the fuck over. Well, I just, there's only so much time. I didn't know.

But I'm just saying, like, in the books, there is six versions of this. and all of them do not go down without a fight. Going to my love of works is the aftermath of dealing with orcs. They made a chapter. Yeah, they literally create the Death Watch because of this. Yeah, and the Death Watch is the, you know what, let's call the Death Watch what it is. Death Watch is the Avengers Project.

They literally take Marines from all the chapters, and they take the guys that have the. best knowledge of the best history, the best pedigree of killing Zenos. And they put them in one place and tell them, figure it out. Make your own, like no, there's no holds barred. Make your own detachments. Figure out how you want your organization to work. All you need to do is when we call you, you need to kill Zenos.

And to credit to them, they actually, the orcs probably saved humanity by doing this. because not too long after the War of the Beast is when they start bumping into much more aggressively, Dark Eldar, Eldar, this is going to come up a lot and eventually the tyrantids. I do think that because of... And they get really good at killing Xenos. That's what they're because of mankind's fight with orcs

actually prepared them for the tyranny. They were wildly not... That is a big thing, though. I do want to state this, and I know it's an orc thing, but like, the Imperium of Man was wildly unprepared at this point in time for all. anything that wasn't chaos. Yeah.

Or basically like us fights. You know, it could be just somebody that just rebel because a lot of systems rebel. Well, I mean, that's what it was. If you look through the history of it, there were all the Zenos fights they were having. There were walkthroughs, though. Yeah, they didn't fight. Even when they fought works, it wasn't this level of organization. Then they have the Horace heresy, which is hard, but you're still fighting each other.

In these specific tactics. and using your weapons. I mean, again, plague marines, investations, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, but it's not quite the same. Obviously, you all know at some point we're going to get to gas, and we're going to get to gas,

because that is the ultimate in the story. But before we get to gas, I wanted just to highlight some of Brad and my favorite stories of certain war bosses doing what I think are hilarious things. We'll be right back after a quick break. In my professional life,

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help you contain cost. Go to high pebble.aI to get a free estimate. That's high P-E-B-L-A-I for a free estimate. You mean like zagstrap and the fact that Storm Storm Boys by themselves literally saw, effectively saw Marines with jumpbacks and went, we can do that too. What are you going to do? I'm going to strap a canister to your back. You're like, I don't think that's what they're doing. Sure it is. Sure it is. We're going to light, we're going to light rockets.

Fuel on fire. Yeah, I'm going to put a rocket on your back and you're going to fly around with a pistol and a club, and it's going to be awesome. You're like, is that a rocket that will explode? Eh, maybe. Zach, this actually might be my favorite story,

so we're going to go ahead and do it. Zag struck with his storm boys are fighting the Samhane, which are, for those you don't know, which chapter of Eldar are they, Brad? They are the, Mickey Bobby of Eldar. One go fast.

They're the mounted. They're the bike. They're everybody that can go super fast. Again, Eldar C, OCD and go, I'll show you OCD. Yeah. Nice try. Yeah. I'm going to do the same thing for a thousand years.

I spent the last 200 years working on the clutch. That's all I've been doing. So, but they go super fast. They are literally all the bike riders, but they are also an aggressive craft world. And they are fighting. But the Sam Hain, because Eldar, for those, we're going to come as more on the Eldar episode, Eldar really can't afford to die.

They actually do have to fall back pretty quickly because they don't have high numbers. Eldar, and they love to use the webways. They jump out of nowhere, catch you off guard, and especially Sam Hane, go super fast and catch you. Well, they ran to a wall, which is the orcs. The Sam Hane flee back through the webway. And Zagstruck sees them going into the webway

and goes, me too, grabs his throne boy, You're not doing this justice. I'm about to get into the psychoticness of this. The Webway is only used by the Eldon. It also wasn't open. It wasn't open. That's my point. He just roadrunnered a cliff face.

The Eldon have been doing this for who knows how long. Millennia, they've been jumping in and out of the Webway and no one's been able to do anything about it. And all of a sudden, Zagstruck just went, yeah, I'm going in there too. Yeah. He, again, it was a clove. They went out of the wedway and closed it. The webway closed and Zach struck, didn't even, didn't even open, just flew through the.

Just decided he's going in. Flew through the two pillars and disappeared with his stormboys. Because apparently, just believe he can. Again, roadrunner. Or a belief. And my favorite part of the story is, this is, it's in the codex as you guys can read these stories. Ten months later. Which is no time.

Which is no time. He just comes wandering in. into what is his war. The worst party, the best part about this is Zagstra doesn't talk about anything. For him, just like now that much time is fast. Yeah, he just shows up, kills the guy who'd taken his place.

Literally nothing about it. And then just gets back to his thing. And the, like, all right, let's do this, guys. And anyone notices that he has some really shiny Eldar helmets that are hanging off his waist. Not a word. And I just like the story.

And also, there's some very good, Zagstruck kit bash models that exist out there. They're awesome. They're really great. I'm a huge fan of Zagstruck. I'm not in 10th edition. You were so good. Yeah, I'm going to let you take this one because this is actually good story.

We covered this one last time briefly, but we're going to cover it again here because we need to. War boss, Tuska. This is maybe every orc player that I know is a favorite story. So Tuska is out there fighting kind of near the eye of terror and bumping into demons and goes, well, these things are awesome and decides to keep fighting the demons. And he keeps getting closer to the eye of terror. He ends up going into the eye of terror. He keeps getting closer and closer because the closer he gets, the more cool fights he gets.

Yes. And he gets, all of a sudden, he's not only in the eye of terror, he's now fighting his way through the demonic worlds until finally he gets to one of corn's main planets, in which case he does lose that bad. They get flatlined. They're flatlined. But corn goes, well, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Also, I have no idea who these guys are, but this is great.

This is great. And I want to point out, orcs won't have souls on how he does this, but begins resurrecting the orcs and just brings in his, whoever bloodthirster of the day to fight them. And they're joyous. And everyone could. This is their Valhalla. This is it. No one, no one could be happier than both of them at this point.

Which we should go into this real quick. the chaos gods kind of know orcs exist. And even though orcs are made of psychic, they don't have a psychic manifestation in the warp. Yeah. Which is by design, you know what, fight me on an orc people. The old ones literally made them this way.

So that they didn't ruin their, at the time, placid pond, sea, ocean. Orcs would have done so much damage. Correct. But they don't. They don't, they literally basically, they barely make a ripple in the war, even though they're made of psychic. Yeah, they're most powerful. Right.

But I'm saying they don't pollute the warp. They don't do anything to it. Another fun one is Blood Axe War Boston. Madrug. Blood X's are just cool, period, by the way. Yeah, Blood Axes are the only sneaky orc and take that for what it means. I mean, he is leading commandos, the only sneaky orcs. What do orcs do, Brad, when they see something cool?

They get it? Yeah. So what's... They take it? Is there anything cooler than a Titan? No, because it's... There's a reason that they like shiny Gits. So, War Bus Madrug and his commandos, he sees a Titan on a planet and goes, want that.

Also, let's back up. Titans are so large of vehicles that they have. have their own infrastructure, cities, marketplaces inside of them because there's so many people working in there that they have to have literally, they're effectively mobile small cities. It's an aircraft carrier that walks.

Yeah, exactly. And he just rolls in and goes, I want that and then takes kind of a long time to go about murder hoboing everybody that gets in this way. Everyone who works in the Titan till they get to the middle bit, which is how you drive it. And then, well, he kind of drives it. Well, he turned it all.

He gets his mech. I was giving him more credit than you're giving. You gave him turned on. I said he kind of drove it. So we haven't done an episode on Titans, but the way that Titans function is you actually interact with it a la Pacific Rim. But actually know, more so that Pacific Rim actually was a kind way of doing it. You actually almost get into it.

Oh, no. You would slay. people to this. And your, the, the ship merges with its drivers to, and they become one entity. They're not meant to merge with orcs. Like, absolutely no. And also, they don't disconnect a bunch of the other guys. They just go, let's do what two of those guys are doing. And leave all over the rest of the guys. And we'll just turn it on. So the Titan, because they actually are almost sentient, goes crazy.

It goes crazy. It just runs in a straight line, murdering everything. Destroying the entire chunks of the planet as it just runs down the street, shooting guns. And that also literally goes to the most populated area of troops. Yeah.

And it just blows off. And then self-destructs and killing everybody. It took the Imperium hundreds of years to recover in this area. Well, that's what happens when you set off effectively a thousand, thousand nuclear bombs in down not even it's not even downtown because he didn't kill civilians yeah they were to the middle of command yeah the largest military base on a planet and blew the whole thing up as you guys know we're just going through fun stories here one of just works this is my least favorite though because i hate the freeboot is i love and hate the freeboot actually i don't hate the free

really you you you were just scolding me on having bad ruck in my army list i love the freebie is so much. There it is. Wait for it. Okay. So here's one deal. I hated the freeboot as rules so much, but I love the freebootist stories because what freeboot is do is they take your shit and they make it orcs.

And they literally have exhibit with them because I don't know, is this too late? Because they pit my ride so hard. They just take whatever they, you have. Actually, it's a very good reference because Pimp My Ride was famous for making cars a lot shittier while making them prettier on the exterior. Yeah. So it's actually quite accurate. They take vehicles that they go, I like what happened there.

But what would happen if we put 14 more guns and 11 seats on it? You're like, why the seats? Because we need guys to shoot the guns that we put on it. You're like, how's that going to work? I don't know why you keep talking back to me about this. Freebootas are fantastic for this. Freebooters are fantastic. The only reason I don't like freebooters is we had a period of time in the game where freebooters were

they made orcs, not orcs. Yeah. They made or shoot the irks. Yeah. But the actual Freeboot clan is fantastic because they will literally take anything that you're using. Also, they do this to other orcs. Yeah. Other orcs dislike freebies.

If you leave your shit alone for a minute, like if you look away, that guy is literally changing everything about your truck and driving away. You're like, dude, I'm in the truck still. You can't. I'm right. here i was unloading groceries it's like i put four guns on top of and also spray painted my name on it you're like i'm i'm literally standing in silence you're like well i guess you're going for the ride because we're this is mine now free buddhas have the jankiest of jankiest i cannot explain it enough their tech is so bad they make everything wildly worse i'm sorry free but is but they do it

It works because they believe in it, but they take whatever they grab and make it so much worse. This is a very fun story. So, Dak Bud Fiergut and his freebo to see a giant ship unattended floating in the middle of nowhere and decide, well, I like that one. Cool. Spoiler alert. It's a tyranny ship. It's a tirade. It's a pirate ship.

So, of course, they do what would a pirate do? Well, I'm going to harpoon it and drag it back to my, to my planet. As soon as they harpooners are dragging it, jeans those and gaunts come really flying out of it. No, they come running down the harpoon chains. To which the freebooters go. Awesome. I didn't even know we're going to fight. Best day ever.

We're just going to sit here and shoot at them while they run down the chains and we drag it. Also, why do the free Buddhas have? miles long chains to shoot because that is what they're coming down. They're coming down just long. They shoot chains into space almost, basically. They shoot chains into low orbit. With harpoons, what chains on.

It mean, this was a whaling vessel effectively with a whale full of many very angry whales. But my favorite part of the story is, after dragging this thing for what could have been months, they just start getting bored of shooting the tear of shooting of tyrannids. Because the bioship keeps making more tyrannies. Because they just stop and they go, well, let's stop it.

And so they just unhook the harpoons and leave it. And just. They leave it over an imperial city. They let me get over a densely populated imperial star system because they just went, whatever, and they leave it there. And the imperial star system has what was effectively a dying tyrannid biot Titan, bioship just in their orbit now. But it was also not a heavy,

heavily defended. It was a regular system that was like, hey, we're in charge of making all the hub caps for all the Lehman Russes. I'll hope for the space marines are nearby because they were not. They were not. So I do love me some big mecks. Of course. So I'll let Brad do grubork. Is this the first shock attack? I think it might be. It's the first, it's the first mecha sized shock attack. So we'll go with it. Okay. Grabbork builds a gun. I mean, it's a ship. but it's not. He legitimately, and this is why I love everything about this, because he does, you know, I'm going to go way old school, he does Decepticon Magic and 80s style transformers and builds Megatron when Megatron used to just turn into a gun. Yeah. And he makes that out of a ship.

The ship flies, but I really feel that the ship flies just because Orcs believe it flies. Yeah. He makes a gun with basically rockets on the back of it to, make it go places, and he makes a shock attack gun, which is the best orc weapon in the world. If GW makes the rules for shock attack gun just a little bit good, we all play them endlessly. Yes. A shock attack gun literally says, I'm going to shoot snotlings. What are you going to do with them? Hold, please.

How about we make the snotlings go through the warp and just find out what happens afterwards and then just propel that real fast at people? what's going to happen? I don't know. Probably stuff. Snottling's probably not going to make it. Yeah, Snottling now. Actually, that's a lot.

The Snatling does occasionally make it. And he's super upset with the other side of this thing. But so he starts firing Snottles, which is the hilariously, the ammunition of a shock attack on, which again

goes, hey, grab some warp while you're in there, and then we're going to go there. And you go, what do you mean by grabbing war, you'll figure it out. I haven't run a triple shock attack gone in so many years. So fun. It was so great.

But he runs out of snoutlings and then just kind of goes, hey, guys, wonder what's in here? And then just starts kicking orcs into it. I mean, that's not exactly how to describe it. That basically is how we did it. Again, kicking the orcs into it. So one of the orcs doesn't like this and decides to flip the switch from suck to blow. If you don't get that reference, it's because you're not 40.

Spaceballs for life. Spaceballs is not even a greater movie, but it is quite funny. John Kennedy was a talent. Instead of sucking up orcs and shooting them at the planet, it sucks the planet into the shock attack gun. It shoots it. Which then

shoot trices of the planet. A warp speed planet out the other side. You just say, this explodes. And things don't go well. creates a new asteroid belt in the middle of the universe. But in good news, I mean, his gun did technically work. We'll be right back after a quick break. So we have to get, if we're talking about orc leaders, there is one.

And only one. Gascoe, there we go. This is the meanest, he's the brainiest and the luckiest. He's especially the luckiest, by the way. That's what he's known as, by the moment. Of course he is. Well, Macari, but we'll go. Well, when I say Gaskell, I consider,

McCarrey the part. Macarie is part of Gasco. Yeah, I kind of Gasco. So that's a big deal on this. And Gascoe actually wasn't a fluke. Gascoll paid his dues. Oh, yeah, Gascoe has earned his write-up. Now, Gascoe was just a random guy and went through an 80s montage of

pump, killing people, fighting, being the biggest and the best, and also, again, still the luckiest. because he was also the luckiest when he was still just a boy. Yeah, we're going to do a little spoiler out here. Gascold dies a lot. Him and Vulcan, actually. You made a joke who's died more than Vulcan? Vulcan's died more than Gas.

But I'm going to say, and Gas is not a perpetual, but orcs can be if they want to be. Well, they also just decided that they wasn't dead. So they just believed him back into being like a lot, actually. I was going to say several, but I mean, it's correct. because it's just more than three. Gascold dies, they get Gaskell's parts back and just kind of duct tape him back together? Well, yeah, so Gascoll is invading a space marine base

and loses terribly with a bunch of his buddies. Like bad bad bad. Yeah, bad bad. I don't want to go into it because it's an embarrassing loss, to be honest. It's a bunch of gases, buddies try to go and overtake an entire space marine base going to say they don't make it. Yeah, but there was like five of them. Yeah, there's five of them.

They had a plan. Yeah. What if we just hit them hard? Yeah, and like a bunch of guys went, yeah, man, we're standing here holding watch. It's like, we're just going to kill these guys, right? So we're going to cover in future episodes what a pain boy does. But Gaz's body is then sold to a very specific pain boy named Mad Doc Grots stick. And Mad Dock's awesome.

It's awesome. Good model. But Mad Dock just takes us about. this orc body and start experimenting on saying, well, what if I just, like, put a bunch of wires in this brain and put a big adamantium plates on this? Well, that's a big deal, though, because you know for this. Gaskell is nigh, unkillable,

because now he has an adamantium skull, which used to be one of his attacks, by the way. But, like, Gaskell now has something that other orcs don't, which is he has a unkillable head. head. He dies while Mad Dock does this, sort of. And he's out in the back. So he just chucked out with the garbage and the rest of the dead orcs. And Makari,

who's a nobody grot at this point. He was literally looting his body. He was looting his body. Wakes him up in the process of looting his body for parts. And as Gaz wakes up, he has a vision of gork and or more. telling him what he has to be. And they expressed to him and Gaz can't really follow it at this point, but he is,

he is gesting to leave. Let's go into this, though, because when he grabs McCarrey, the vision quest together. Macari's, this grot comes with him on this vision to see. But also in the vision, it's Gaz and, oh, crap, you know, this is why I don't read all the notes beforehand,

because sometimes it's a surprise to me too. So literally, Gaz and Macari are together on this vision quest, but Gaz sees Macari with him and now decides Macari has to go everywhere with him because the orc gods have commanded it. Is their destiny?

He's my banner bear. And there's some fun stories of Macari we may get to or not about him murdering everyone. Yeah, and he decides that he now has powered up and because of that vision, he is now the chosen one of Gork and Morker, and McCarrey is his banner waiver, and McCarrey has to be there at all times with him

because he saw it in the vision. I forgot that he saw it together. He looked into his eye and then through the eye and they saw everything together. Now, Gaz has a purpose, and I will say there's nothing more terrifying than an orc with a purpose because they commit.

and he decides, first thing I'm going to do... Let the bring this back. Gas was just random Ted. Yeah. Yeah, the gas is not... He's not war boss. He's not war boss at all. No, gas was not even gas at this one time.

He's just Ted. I mean... Gas goes in a vision quest, gets McCarrey, and goes, I am the chosen of the orgs, and I'm the leader of the orcs, and goes, this is happening. So he went from Ted to the chosen one. right now. Right now.

One thing that I actually was trying to find and someone correct me if I'm wrong here, but I don't even gas is even knob-sized at this point. He was just an org. Well, he's semi-juiced up. Grotsnick, well, he's got the end of men of school already. Yeah.

And he's already got the, he effectively has biomechanical shit. He does, but what I'm getting at though is that we talked about us in the last episode. Orks get bigger than more than conquest. So with Orks are true. So Gaz is not a like war boss who's now going. Gaz is an orc who's about to become the most power for war boss in the galaxy.

True, true. At the time, I think he's mech-boy-esque, actually. First thing Gaz has to go do is conquer the closest settlement, which is a death skull settlement. Gaz walks in, says, I'm in charge. Their war boss says, nope, nope, and proceeds, gang because the death skull, shoot him with all of his guns. every single one missed, did he matrix it? Did Gork and Mark get in the way and deflect all the bullets? Is it just because he's the one and he put his hand up and the bullets didn't go there? Either way, he gets hit zero times.

I've been playing orcs for years. I've rolled those shots. For the record, like, he was probably just standing toe in a forest. That was impossible. But anyway, Gaz then leaps up and pummels him. And a key thing to Brad's point is that Gags used to have. an attack that was the headbut. I was just about to say,

this is the first time because he starts, it used to be a devastating attack too. But he uses, this is a signature move, by the way, if you're doing wrestling, this is a signature move.

The headbutt, no, it really is, though, because he's got an antimony, adamantium skull. So he literally crushes the other guy's skull with his adamantium skull and goes,

like I was saying, I'm in charge now. And because orcs have orc rules, And they went, well, yeah, of course you are. Like, no one even bothers. Yeah. They just go, well, yeah. Duh.

He's in charge. Like, why are you telling us this? We already know this. This is clear. Like, just fill out the paperwork, man. We're out of here. The next thing guys has to, though, is conquer the SNASDAQ, who is a bad moon. Bad moons are the pew-poo shooty guys.

Bad moons are in charge of making all the guns shoot a little bit more. And as usual, because they're origin. they just shoot a little bit more because, well, we just believe they shoot a little bit more. Yep. And so he has to do then, but the bad moon leader decides to play at a distance. I'm going to use my, I'm going to use my super fast yellow battle wagon. So it wasn't as fast as a red one, but it was very pew-pue. Gazz is not just a brute force.

He's also a think he's. Cunning, but brutal. Yes. And he decides to use the cunning this time and lights a bunch of tire fires to block out this. We're not wrong. Again, when I say he's cunning. He was or cunning. He was or cunning.

So he keeps fighting me from a distance. Yes. What if he couldn't see anymore? Well, that would affect his ability. Block out the sun. I said it. And then they get up close and personal. And an epic battle takes place, but it doesn't take place because Gasco wins in like eight seconds.

Yeah, he goes, got you. I heard you guys are really good at shooting and not that great at punching. So it turns out. I'm incredible at punching. And then they fought the golfs, which are... Which becomes his adopted. One of my favorite stories about the goffs, though, and we'll just do it really quick,

is he gets in a fight with the golf leader, and they have a one-on-one, and they decide to have a headbutton contest. He chose the worst thing ever. He could have chose so many other things. He could have chose push-ups. He could have chose hitting each other with chopas. He could have chose anything.

He chose head-budding. With the guy with the adamantium skull, it, spoiler alert, it goes real bad for the guy. He actually headbuts him into the ground. And my favorite part is the knobs who support this war boss are laughing and don't really at their leader being knocked a foot into the ground. And then Gaz walks over and head butts all of them unconscious and wanders off. Because why not? Because why not? So he has now conquered the planet.

And he begins telling the orcs, I'm not about this planet. I'm about everything. We're going. And they're all saying, well, where are we going to go? We're going that way. And everyone, and knows, this coincides perfectly with a massive shift in the warp. And it's the great tear. I love the fact that a space Hulk showed, Gazgo literally says, he effectively ends his sentence and goes, we're going to conquer everything.

And they go what? And he goes, everything. And a space Hulk shows up, like, right over. Right above them. And he goes and it points to this giant chunk. And when we say Space Hulk, for those who are space Hulk is, it's a giant chunk of derelict metal and ship. We'll do it.

It's like hundreds of ships. Yeah. And when we see ships, I mean, gigantic, like star destroyers from space, they're from space. Star Wars. it's all of these jammed together and effectively fused. Gaz just tells everyone on the planet, go getting the ship. Hey, was the ship empty, Brad?

It was empty of life. Yeah, it's very full of demons. It was very full of demons. Very, very full of demons. Which it stopped being full of demons once all the orcs got up. Gass puts a beat down on the demons. I mean, this is a like 80 to 3. They got a field goal at one point in time.

This is a slaughter. It is just a jumping point to show that gas is awesome kind of thing. But the thing is, is why he is awesome. Gascoal is brimming with warp essence, which is what a wog is. He is, again, gas is a blow torch that is firing up the wog. He then takes this ship after killing all the demons and begins heading into space. Although a fun side note, he didn't. he killed all the demons,

but the demons keep coming back and they have to fight him again, which we talked about earlier ends up really helping the Uyricks out because it gives them something to do. So as they're moving through the war in space... Let's talk about part of this. He literally starts with effectively,

which is a bunch of boys, and he shows up on his first planet with a bunch of knobs. Yes. Because they all level up. The whole fight. Thus begins the Second War of Armageddon, a.k.a. Ulanor, aka. Sucket, Emperor.

He's renamed his ship, World Killer. W-U-R-L-D-K-I-L-L-A. Why not? Because why not? He arrives in the Armageddon system. He detects the main planet, which is Ulanor, and then... Which also, this planet has not had a great spot.

By the way, this planet is armed to the teeth. It is way... This place is where the beast was. This is where... Engron was just here. And Grom was there, too. I forgot about that. This is a big...

This place is literally goes, hey, why have one gun when you could have 43 guns? Yeah. They have literally made this place. planet comically armed. It is surrounded by nothing but death satellites.

The entire planet is a fortress of I'm going to murder you if you show up. And again, an orc roadrunner style, they go, re-entry's dumb. Yeah. I just refuse to accept that it exists.

Why don't we just land this thing that does not have atmospheric flight into the planet? Engines are being. honest and they just crash word killer into the planet and the Imperial Guard are just

looking out that well this sucks oh good all the orcs just came flying out of it this is kind of weird though because he does the whole orc thing which is Gaskell starts with the comical roadrunner I don't believe

this happens like just crash something they can't I'm going to land my not landable thing into the planet, that happens. But then he actually, like, randomly becomes tactical master and sends part of his force out to soften them up, to lure them into thinking that they are the same works they've always fought, which is just kind of a wave of everyone.

And as long as we can figure this out, you know, we can do it. And he starts trapping them and setting them up and taking, almost no losses, even though he's killing so many. There are tactics, a lot of tactics. However, despite all these tactics, he does run into one small problem, commasar, Yarrick. I mean, Yarrick exists. Yarrick exists. Well, I mean, YARC doesn't exist anymore.

Sorry, Yarrick existed. I haven't in the closet over there. He died of old age. Yeah. Well, Yarrick, and I did, didn't love this person. He was his, his last day, at work was the invasion I mean, he literally was, the guys that wrote this

saw lethal weapon the day before and went, so Danny Glover's Yark, okay, go. Go, yeah. Oh, you're like, should we do it any different? Nope. No. 100% just Danny Glover's Yard. Give him a power clock. Arick is in charge of

one of the hives, which is the Hades. And gas runs through most of the rest of the planet, but this one half of Lee rolls through. Begins giving him problem. And the stubborn defenses, as we've said, orcs like a good fight,

but Gaz is also trying to lead all the orcs. And so he can't lose. He can't lose anything. That's the problem. And so he turns, he just starts seeing these losses. He could have, everything he does.

He could have legitimately left this hive alone and just went, you're surrounded, you can't do anything. But he took it as a personal offense. Yeah. And begins. attacking, digging. And the next note I do have here is, hey, Brad, how do you

remove an orc infestation? I would try fire mainly because they're spores and also they're wearing t-shirts. And is there any space marine chapter that's really good at fire? I would go with, you can take Blood Angels, but they showed up, but wait

a second, let me carry the one. My favorite space chapter, which is the salamanders. They show up with, yes, all of the flame weapons. and actually begin turning the tide. Well, they also show up behind them. And above the maybe orbital bombarding it.

Gas is just not on the planet anymore. Well, that's another thing. Well, gas, we talked about gas possibly dying a billion times. Gork and Mark are like, no, we chose this guy. But gas is just gone. They flatline the orcs, the ones doing 80s. And begin rebuilding the planet. defenses primarily.

Yeah, like, again, also, I can't begin to stress how laughably ridiculous 40K is about certain planets that they decide that they're defending. Yeah. They literally do comic style, gun on top of gun on top of gun on fortress on top of gun on top of fortress. Like, hey, man, is that 2,000 guns a mile in the sky? Yes. Do you think we need more?

Probably. Gaz is in space, and he decides, well, that didn't go right. You know what'll make it go right? More orcs. You know what? You said, I'm sorry, you said more orcs. I said, how about all of the orcs? And he grabs, yes, everybody.

I mean, man, if I could only give you the meme, I would give it from Leon, sorry, the professional. Yes. Gary Oldman. Every one. and he does. Armageddon has rebuilt their defenses. The planet is now covered in anti-aircraft, anti-vehicle, anti- You know what they didn't have anti, though?

Random shit falling from the sky. Because Gaz brings in all of that old space old stuff, but he brought a bunch more. And just goes, remember when I randomly Looney Tune landed and didn't, the laws of physics ignored them, I'm not going to ignore the laws of physics this time. And I'm just going to take giant debris and flinging at the planet real fast. And that debris called Rock R.O.K.

Yeah. They were there. It's about R.K. Lands on the planet with orcs in it, but also Gaz's mech's newest invention, the teleporter. Yeah, which isn't a real invention. No, I actually, Brad and I have discussed this. We both believe teleporters don't do actually do anything.

Orcs just believe they do, and the orcs teleport themselves against the galaxy. It is literally, they put it again an Acme X on the ground and say, I can now teleport here. You could always have done that, but now you just need to stand on the spray-painted X on the ground. Stand on the X-Mil arrive there. The planet is almost- This is big, though, because the hunting part of gas, on this is he sends a bunch of debris down and he doesn't start sending orcs until the middle of it. So he just throws random trash that blows up.

He's literally, again, he's sending buildings down on the defenders and there's nothing in them. There's just building. He's just trashing, trashing, trashing. And this happens for a while. It's not like he threw one thing. Oh, there's an plan. It just keeps getting more and more.

But he doesn't, there's no orcs until later. You know, like he throws all the stuff down. And then he's actually, this is actually a really cool plan, to be honest with you. Because he throws all this trash down on the planet. And then they're trying to deal with it. Do we blow it up? Do we try to shoot it down? It's too big to do anything about because it's literally a giant skyscraper crashing down on us from orbit.

But then all of a sudden, hours in, orcs start coming out. And also, orcs start fighting, starting fights because orcs landed on the planet. They didn't even know arcs were on the planet. Like, they start fighting people. And then all of a sudden you get reports of, hey, we're fighting guys right now. Like, that's what's going on right now. Anyone have an idea? Yeah.

The invasion of Armageddon, though, as Brad said earlier, is not just one planet. Remember he said we're going to bring all the orcs? All the orcs. This is beginning to moving into a galaxy-wide level of invasion. And the Imperium has to do something. Because it's not about losing Armageddon anymore. It's about losing everything. Everything.

And the only, the biggest thing, actually, I actually think the Imperium would have lost if the orcs fought to win and not just a fight. Yeah. because the orcs only fight in places where they can pick a fight. Yes. So they're not picking off supplied logistics. Let's let's like that. What the Imperium does is they literally turn the entire greater system-wide, everything. Anything within light years of Armageddon turns into a war effort, where it is we are going to fight these orcs not only to kill them, but also just to contain them.

because if they continued to expand, they would have actually conquered the galaxy. The Imperium does do something smart, which is they give the orcs places to fight. Yes. They effectively challenge the orcs by fortifying places, and the orcs just can't help themselves. They want the fight,

so they go to the fortified places. They could have just went, I'm going to go to Seoul. Well, I go to Seoul, but I could start just hitting agriculture worlds. It's like industrial lives. Yeah, exactly. I'm saying they didn't try to kill their logistics.

They went wherever there was a bunch of guys that were willing to fight them. That's where they fought. In the middle of this, though, Gaz starts to get almost bored. This isn't what he's, he realizes that this isn't what he's meant to do. This war is the war at Armageddon's big, but it's not Gorgon-Mork big. It's not Vision Quest to be. Yeah, I have to go. So he actually just leaves while Armageddon's happening.

This is random too. Yeah, it just gets up and grabs some of his boys. He definitely for his scumpses. He's like, hey, guys, I'm kind of tired now. I'm about to go home. I'm going to go home and just and disappears back in. George also start to get wrecked when that happens. Well, yeah, as soon as he leaves, because Gaz has a connection.

When we talk about war bosses, war bosses lead almost psionically with their forces. So when he's gone, the orcs start to kind of. fall apart and mankind just starts running through them. Then takes us to kind of what I would call the modernist part of 40K, which is Armageddon is still raging. There's, Gaz has now left the galaxy and now he's had a new vision. But his vision is one, Gaz knows Gork and or more has told him where every single orc empire is in the entire galaxy. He now just knows. It's not a, I'm going to look it up. He just

knows. He vision quested it. He knows where every orc army is. Sorry, not army, empire is. And he is now, I am going to unite the tribes. He's going to Robert the Brousson. He is going to unite the tribes. He is going to, you know, I cannot be stopped with my old movie references. You will not be stopped with old movie references. And he is going to get every single or, all of the empires not one orc alive is kind of i leave no work behind yep he is getting every single one of them and they are all going to unite behind him and fight ragnar the the final battle yeah which they did name ragnarok which come on i i didn't want to say that but like come on yeah like come on you didn't you could or ork or not i mean you could have had some fun with this but and he starts i mean we

don't even have enough time to go into this. This could be like 15 podcast. He does, he does this an epic conquest. He doesn't just like fight the guy and beat him. He does these epic feats to show the orcs that he is the chosen one and he is going to lead them to the promised land. Follow me. We're going to kill everybody. We're going to wreck this. I'm going to give you the best fights ever. And he does this in such a great way because every single one is this epic level quest that he completes and then gets a system, two systems, however big that work empire is, he gets all of them behind him to follow him now. And he is literally accidentally leading the biggest walk ever.

And it's kind of a walk without him. It has a end game purpose, but it also has no purpose. So he has to kind of... We're at the modern part of now we've caught up to what we call modern 40K, 41K. and we're going to, and Gaz is now leading a true. A true Wad. Yeah, a true Waw. The true.

How about this? The truest one. The truest one. With this, with Gaz leading the one story I did like that came, I think came in out of the Octarius books, was that all of a sudden, Gaz can actually feel and command orcs from across the galaxy. He's, his WHA is so powerful that he actually is reaching through the stars and commanding forces everywhere, which is.

Instantaneous time. Which is terrifying. This is a power Tyrionts don't have. This is a power of necron. No species has this power. Where you have one leader, I guess it's him and the emperor, that level of power, of him and the emperor where they can actually contact and control across the galaxy. He's fighting multiple fronts under him at the same time with instantaneous communication. And it's orcs.

And that's scary. Yeah. So with that, we'll take a break. I recognize there's a lot of details we didn't get into on this one, but because there's a limit to this thing called time. From there, take a break, just to give you guys a taste. And we're going to move into our, we'll be our third and final episode on orcs,

where we're going to focus more about the technology and weapons and some of our favorite orc units and also why we play works. Bubble choccas. And also gargantuan squigas. Thank you so much for listening. Again, please join our Discord. Follow us on Facebook and like and subscribe. subscribe to the podcast, please give us a positive review.

If you have a negative review, write it on someone else's. But with that, I'm John Barsai. This is Bradchester. Yes, God. Have a wonderful evening.