The Blindboy Podcast - Goslings Guilty Gusset

Episode Date: July 24, 2018

I got mouldy and couldn't record a full podcast. Here's my live interview with author Louise O Neill*Content Warning. Discussion around sexual assault Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

praise be to Allah you tarnished Andrews so here's the crack with this week's fucking podcast it's Tuesday right and I had a big fucking podcast planned not a big podcast but I had a very I had a boiling hot take planned. Not a big podcast. But I had a very. I had a boiling hot take. Planned for this weeks podcast.

And the shtick was. Is that. I won't spoil it for you. But I was going to start off. Talking about a jacket. And this jacket. The hot take about this jacket. Was eventually going to end up.

With me talking about. A Nazi eugenics program and I've all the research done but here's the stick it's Tuesday earlier on today I was invited out for a meat and cheese platter

in a restaurant in Limerick called Di Vincenzo's a meat and cheese platter which I can't really say no to you've got fucking salami fucking salami that's my extent of knowledge of cured Italian meats

but several Italian meats and several Italian cheeses on a platter that you eat with some olive oil and bread and a few glasses of wine and this was at one o'clock in the day so I was like fuck it I'll go for that sounds class so I went out for it with a

dear dear friend of mine who's a woman and before I knew it the cheese platter was fucking lovely the meat was lovely I'd said one glass of wine before you knew it it cheese platter was fucking lovely the meat was lovely I'd said one glass of wine before you knew it it turned into two glasses of wine got out of hand at about three o'clock

and I was drinking pints so I'm a small bit shitfaced at the moment and I said on Twitter earlier I said I got poured a pint of pirani right pirani isn't my usual tipple and I said on Twitter earlier, I said, I got poured a pint of Peroni, right?

Now, Peroni isn't my usual tipple. Peroni is an Italian beer, but it's a very crisp, enlightening, refreshing beer, and when I asked the boys in the Italian place for the Peroni, they said, can you hold on a minute, because we're changing the tap, we've got to get a new barrel. barrel so they changed it gave me the pirani in a new fucking barrel and it was as if god had wanked into my mouth the pirani was so fresh so beautiful so sparkling iridescent like the inside of a fucking pearl not the inside of a pearl but like Not the inside of a pearl. But like pearls come out of em.

Here's an interesting thing about pearls. Pearls come out of oysters right. And the word iridescent. Refers to anything that has a pearlescent quality. When you. Hold on someone's coming into the room. I'm recording my podcast. I'm recording a podcast I'm recording a podcast

so anyway when you fucking the thing with oysters right so oysters in the inside of an oyster if you were to look at an oyster and the inside of its skin or its face or whatever you call it

it looks pearlescent right the skin of that oyster looks like a pearl what happens is that when that oyster is in the bottom of the ocean occasional oysters not every oyster and it's almost like how plaque forms on your teeth a bit of dirt will go into that oyster and it will situate itself and it will it will ingrain itself in that oyster's skin and then what happens is that the pearlescent quality on that oyster's skin grows around that bit of dirt over and over until you're left with a pearl and that's what a pearl is it's like um it's like an oyster's gammy tooth and we as human beings value this

value this as something that you need to be worn around your fucking neck what was I talking about long story short alright I went out for a cheese and meat platter with a good friend and this beautiful pint of Peroni came in front

of me it was so gorgeous. That I couldn't stop. Now I'm a small bit shitfaced. I'm a tiny bit drunk. I'm not even smoking my fucking vape. I went and bought fags. I bought actual cigarettes. Which is something I don't usually do

now not only did I buy a fucking pack of cigarettes I was preparing a meal the other day it was a potato and aubergine curry and two days ago boys, two days ago I cut the top of my finger while chopping an onion

and the cop was grand and I looked after it, it has reopened itself so i'm sitting here today still drinking a can of rock shore lager which i bought i bought rock shore lager from a place of anger it's this new fucking lager that they're trying to i think guinness own it and they're trying to position it as a craft lager. I went into Tesco and I saw eight of them and I said, I'm fucking buying you, you cunt. Because I was angry with it. Because I was like, I know you're pretending to be something you're not.

It's just fucking Heineken and a Widener. Or a Bonner. So I'm sitting here, smutting a fag. Or a boner. So I'm sitting here smutting a fag. My. Thumb is pumping blood. Because I've reopened a cut.

From a potato and aubergine curry. That I had the other day. I'm drinking Rock Shore Lager. And I'm in no position. To be delivering ye. The podcast that I intended to deliver. I intended to have a very boiling hot. Cognizant take.

About a jacket. Which led to a Nazi eugenics program. And I won't do it justice. This week. If I speak about it. While I'm kind of fucking pissed. You don't even get that lovely sound of my vape. Because I'm smoking a fucking cigarette like a fool

so what am I getting at so also as well while I was out having this meat and cheese platter with my dear friend I asked her, I said I was talking about one of the boys and I said do you fancy him? Right. And she said do I fancy him?

And I'm like yeah do you fancy him? And she goes. He's thick. And he thinks every woman is thicker than him. That's the most unattractive thing ever. I roared out laughing at this. I thought this was the funniest thing i've ever heard it encapsulated male privilege in a nutshell this lad that we know god bless him he's not

the brightest of lads i don't like even saying words like that but he he's not too smart all right but not only is he not too smart he he thinks that every woman is thick, and she pointed this out, so I wrote it up on Twitter, put it out as a tweet, it was that funny, I tweeted it, and for some reason, a lot of boys underneath, they started tweeting, didn't happen, that wasn't real real that conversation never occurred because the idea for them of a woman evaluating their intelligence was so painful that their their unconscious pain sublimated itself to their conscious and it expressed it it's expressed itself as them telling me that it didn't actually happen that is so painful to me I must have made it up

I'm sorry to tell you boys but uh some girls are interested in intelligence and my buddy was interested in intelligence and it's a weird fucking thing that lads do when lads on twitter

find a piece of information that they don't find uncomfortable they tweet didn't happen. That did not happen. You made it up. Which resulted in me having to tweet a photograph of the girl that I was with holding up a piece of paper on which

was written, I said it to prove to the boys yes, it happened. What I'm getting at I'm too mouldy to do a podcast I've had too many cans I've had a couple of wines I had an Aperol

spritz which I never drink but I had it for the first time but I'm well into it now and it would be a foolish move of me fritz which i never drink but i had it for the first time but i'm well into it now and it would be a foolish move of me to be delivering you this hot take about a jack a jacket and nazi eugenics to be doing it the the the service that it deserves while on several cans so i'm not going to do it instead what i'm going to do because fucking leave me off do you know what I mean part of

the crack of this podcast not being on fucking RTE or BBC imagine Ryan Tuberty turns up one morning and says I'm not doing the show I'm pissed do you know like Britain would

reinvade but because we have this beautiful podcast and it's I'm pissed. Do you know. Like Britain would reinvade. But because we have this beautiful podcast. And it's. A socialistic model. You know we've got the Patreon account. Subscribe to the Patreon if you wish. Blind Boy.

The Patreon.com forward slash the Blind Boy podcast. Subscribe to that if you want. Because we have this model model I feel it's ok for me to say this week lads I went out I got langers and I can't deliver the podcast and it's grand so instead what I'm gonna do

is there someone at the fucking door some cunt outside on a scooter my housemates after ordering a pizza anyway yeah so this week you're not getting the full fucking podcast so what I'm going to do instead is and I promised I wouldn't do this

and there's going to be a part of myself that will be pissed off at myself in the morning but it feels right like I'm going to give you a live podcast instead even though I said that the live podcast has got a different mood to the podcast hug and I will do it once a month on this Wednesday allow me to get langers on daytime drinking

and I'll give you a live podcast which is slightly different to your podcast hug on this Wednesday allow me to get langers on daytime drinking and I'll give you a live podcast which is slightly different to your podcast hug but this podcast as well

inspired by there's a slight anger in me when I tweeted that thing about my buddy talking about the lad saying that he's

so he's thick and he thinks every woman is thicker than him and that's the most unattractive thing ever because of those boys that were getting pissed off about that i am going to put out my live podcast that i did with the author louise o'neill who is one of the most important voices in irish society today she's a feminist author she writes fiction for young adults and for adults and I recorded this podcast

with her in Kilkenny about a month ago two months ago and it was a full packed out room four or five hundred people a lot of men left the room because the shit that she was talking about made them uncomfortable and all she was talking about was women's sexuality she was

talking about sexual assault she was talking about masturbation and it caused men to leave the room. So I'm going to play Louise's live podcast. Because I think you need to hear it. And this is for the lad specifically. And don't get pissed off at me in a week's time and say I didn't like that podcast. I'm unsubscribing from your Patreon. Don't project misogyny on top of me. Or your uncomfortableness on top of me, just listen to it, listen to it and enjoy it, because Louise is somebody who needs to

be listened to, I was gonna put it out at the end of this month, but, what can I say, are a few too many cans, let's see fucking, a fly just landed on my hand, that's the other thing as well, what the fuck is going on this particular time of summer there's certain flies and they're just flying around the gaff as flies do but they just want to land on your knee

or your hand and say what do you want with my knuckles sir do you know and it's just chilling out there and I'm not the type of person who'll kill a fly I'm not into it only the other night actually maybe they want the fucking

blood on my thumb I love Spanish cuisine and I love Spain as you know because I fuck off to Cordoba once or twice a year but there's a type of food

I'm after flicking I'm after flicking fucking fag on my crotch now and it's very unpleasant hold on on my pomatraxo pants there's a type of food

that they have in Spain called tapas and tapas basically I think it's a type of culture that would be of great benefit to Ireland because what tapas does is that it stops you drinking it makes you

eat a bit of food instead of fucking going the whole way and having 8 or 9 pints but how tapas came about as an invention there's these cunts of flies in Spain so if you've got a pint out or if you've got a bit of drink or a wine or whatever these flies come straight over to your drink and are like

how are you getting on can i have some of that and you as a human being is like get the fuck out of my glass sir but the flies come over and i had last week. I had a lovely piece of fucking drink. The flies came over to it. And I'm like how can I stop them. Tapas was invented. Because. And tapas is like small pieces of food. It was invented because.

People were drinking drink. Flies were coming over. So the barman started going. Come on we give you a biscuit and a bit of cheese. And you can cover your drink with it. so that's what they started doing in Spain the flies were so antisocial that an invention

a culinary invention had to come about whereby your drink is covered with a biscuit and this evolved into an entire revolution of food known as tapas. So that's what this week's podcast is going to be about. It's going to be an interview with the author Louise O'Neill.

I know the women who listen to this podcast are going to listen to it because women love Louise for good reason. But for the lads, to listen to it because women love Louise for good reason but for the lads just listen to this listen to this interview sit with the uncomfortableness if you feel uncomfortable during this interview like the lads who were there at the live podcast something about that is confronting you with a, a darkness in you, a misogynistic darkness, sit with it,

fucking live with it, hear it, listen to it, do you know what I'm saying, challenge it, don't walk away, challenge it, like last week's podcast,

was about fucking, transactional analysis, and I got, several very pleasant, mails from all of ye talking about how it helped ye personal growth comes from sitting with shit that makes you uncomfortable

not the pang inside of you to walk away from it fuck that sit with it that thing that makes you feel uncomfortable that thing that makes you feel uncomfortable, that thing that makes you feel emasculated sit with it live with it, observe it

like a fire and personal growth will come from that fucking listen, use your ears do you get me? as uncomfortable as it may be just live with it and from that you will grow as a human being. Alright I'm going to do a very paltry.

Ocarina pause. Before I go into the interview. Because we know well. The fucking black and tans are going to try and. Advertise on the podcast. The fucking British army cunts. Are going to try and advertise on the podcast. So I'll give you a little,

an early Ocarina pause. On April 5th, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for you.

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start you goals so I just pressed the record button which means that the live podcast has officially begun so I'm going to bring on my guest The live podcast has officially begun. So, I'm going to bring on my guest. She's a fantastic author. Her name is Louise O'Neill, and she's from Cork. Louise! The most important thing is that he acknowledged I'm from Cork.

That's all you need to know. There you go. So throughout this, Louise, I have the questions to be asked on my phone. The reason I'm flagging this is that I've done a couple of podcasts where I've had a guest on and the questions are on my phone. It just looks like I'm looking at text throughout the interview like a prick. So what I did was, whenever I do a live podcast, I like to ask Twitter for the questions to kind of democratize it. It's a terrible idea. But anyway, what you do, it is your podcast.

It was great. There were some fantastic questions. And what I loved was, well, I didn't love it. The questions from women were brilliant. Yeah, God. And then the questions from lads were just very passive aggressive and shitty. Why does she hate men? That was the higher end of the spectrum.

Like the lads that were owning it and going she's a feminazi i was going okay you've outlined your position yeah but it was the lads that were saying ask her about the inside of a tennis ball do you know what i mean at least own your misogyny don't don't you know what i mean yeah yeah so you're not gonna ask me about the inside of a tennis ball are you because i have no idea we might talk about the inside that's a weird thing in irish culture the inside of a tennis ball are you? Cause I have no idea. Fuck off, we might talk about the inside of a tennis ball. That's a weird thing in Irish culture, the inside of tennis balls though, isn't it? Do you remember in school, the inside of a tennis ball punishment essay?

That's a thing, isn't it? Did you not get that? No, no. If, do you, does that resonate with you? No. If you were messing in class, if you were messing in class and a teacher wanted to give you

Punishment like sometimes if you're a bad student punishment is a good thing because it means oh I've got detention I can actually get homework done so a really nasty teacher would go you've got detention for hours You must write about the inside of a tennis ball in 2,000 words Which I used to love I'm like yes, I will write about the inside of a tennis ball. Absolutely. I remember I had three separate write about the inside of a tennis ball essays. I really want to read these now.

I wish I still had them. One of them was about, it was an alternative story about, Christ, anyway, found his way into the Cú Chulainn story. So what happened in this, I should have fucking kept it, I was only about 15. So basically, Cú Chulainn is facing the dog, right?

And instead of a slitter it's a tennis ball. So then, as Cú Chulainn hits the tennis ball, as it goes towards the mouth of the dog, Christ, who'd been a teenager and messing around with time travel or whatever, finds himself at that

moment between Cooke Holland and the dog, so the tennis ball goes into Christ's mind. And then the rest of the story was about Christ's gospel being kind of destroyed because he had the brain of a tennis ball.

And for that I was chastised by the system. As opposed to recognising that I had a bit of an imagination. So you've written four books, you've written four novels. There's a few questions I want to ask first.

You're mainly seen, well, not mainly seen, but if I read about you, they sometimes describe you as a young adult author. Now, your most recent book is not The Surface Breaks, Almost Love. That's for grown-ass adults. Yeah. Yeah, it was weird.

I think at the start, I didn't necessarily think I was writing a young adult novel. Yeah, that's what I want to know. Yeah, because it was... I suppose I just wanted to tell the story the way I felt that it needed to be told. And then it was when I started going to agents and they said, oh, you know,

we think this would do well in a young adult market. And I was like, thinking of that John Green money, I was like, yeah, that's a great idea. That was my assumption. Yeah, I mean, it's all about the art. But like, yeah, you didn't sit down one day, I'm going to, like, young adult is like 12 to 18. Yeah, even though mine have always skewed older,

but I remember when they first started submitting it to publishers, they kept saying, they were like, oh, we think this is slightly too dark for this age market. I was like, have you ever met a teenager in your entire life? They're not dark enough, to be honest. Yeah. But yeah, but definitely I suppose was asking for it but with all of the books has always been sort of a crossover appeal and they republish them as adult editions because I think

They could see that it would do well in both markets and the protagonist in asking for it. She's like 16 17 18 18 Because you wrote it in the first person, right? Do you feel that you spoke from the language and point of view of an 18 year old and because of that when a publisher read it they were like, this sounds like a teenager? I don't know, I mean I suppose the, I had a two book deal when I sold Only Ever Yours and I suppose with asking for it, I don don't know I feel very in touch with that sort

of part of myself anyway I think for most people like our school years were so difficult that they they still remain like very fresh in our memories and I also suppose it's a time of a lot of firsts you know it's like the first time you have sex the first time you fall in love the first time you have your heart broken so all of that feels very immediate so it's quite easy for me I think when I was starting to write or maybe I'm'm just incredibly immature. I'm not sure. So it just felt really easy for me to sort of get that voice. And I had my next door neighbor who was around 18 at the time, and I had her read it just to make sure that some of the language was okay. But I don't think the inherent experience of being a teenager

has changed. That doesn't change. Yeah, you know? That's it. That kind of remains the same. Are you familiar with the book Asking For It? Yeah. It is a book about a girl called Emma who is like,

would you call her a nerd? No, I think... She's good at school, isn't she? Well, I was going to say, that's the nicest thing. Usually people say she's such a bitch, and then they're like, is she based on you? And I'm like, I'm not sure what impression I'm giving here, but no, she's such a bitch, and then they're like, is she based on you? And I'm like, I'm not sure what impression I'm giving here, but no, she's not.

So she's sort of, she is good at school, but she's the most popular girl in her class and is very obsessed with sort of her sense of self and her beauty and the effect that she's having on men. And I suppose that was a very deliberate choice that I made because I think that all too often we find, as a society, we find it really easy to have sympathy for victims of sexual violence if they behave in certain ways whereas if they don't you know if if they've been drinking or if they've taken drugs or if they've worked as a

sex worker if they've been promiscuous and I think all of those things tend to be obstacles in the way of seeing any justice because you know that that's going to be brought up in court if you do attempt um to you know to take it that far so i think i wanted to create a character that might be unlikable in ways to i suppose really just emphasize the point that you know it doesn't matter whether people are like if someone comes forward and they disclose being raped it doesn't matter whether you like them or not that they still deserve to be believed and to be listened to yeah and like if someone's house got robbed yeah no you wouldn't matter whether you like them or not, that they still deserve to be believed and to be listened to. Yeah, and if someone's house got robbed... Yeah, no, you wouldn't say, well, you're a dick, so you deserve it.

Yeah, do you know what I mean? But this book has become really incredibly relevant recently because of, we said, the Belfast trial, and that's what some of the questions on Twitter were about. How do you feel about that? Because the book was brought up quite a lot in the media when the Belfast trial was happening. I'm sure you got quite a lot of phone calls, did you?

I did. I got a lot of messages from friends and from people in the media. And I was actually really... Sorry, just for people who don't know, this girl, Emma, she is... Yeah, she ends up, she goes to a party and she takes MDMA and she passes out and the next morning she wakes up and she's been thrown on the front porch of her house and she's no recollection of how she got there and it's only when pictures start to emerge on social media that she can put together that she was the victim of a brutal gang rape and then really as was

the book is more about how her community reacts to it, how her family reacts to it, how that's actually, for a lot of victims, much more traumatising than the event itself. It's actually the reaction of people and their reluctance to believe, especially if they know the person that you're accusing. So, as I was when the Ulster rugby rape trial occurred, from the very beginning, I was getting a lot of messages from people saying you know the similarities are uncanny and I think I I felt very reticent to sort of talk about that you know I never really replied to anyone on Twitter when they said that because I think I was always very wary of the idea of sort of nearly capitalizing off the back of that you know I mean your character isn't real it's fictional but then you've got this thing going on with a real person absolutely

and you people kept saying that they were like oh asking for it started a national conversation and i always said well i prefer to have those conversations off like the back of a piece of art um rather than you know a young woman's lived experience um but when the verdict came down i was asked to write a piece for the Irish Examiner. And I did mention the book and that just because I felt like I had to. And it just, I felt really proud of that. I felt, because I had to write it. They rang me and they were like, we need this in two hours. And I was on the train and I had to write a 1500 word piece on the notes app of my phone. That was just

torturous. And they published it the next day and the headline was, I believe her. And I just felt like it was such a strong- Did you choose that headline? No, they chose it. I didn't have a clue. See that's the fucking problem with journalism, man. But no, I was actually, I thought, you know what?

Yes, well, I mean, I'm afraid now I'm getting in so much trouble. But so much negativity, so much negativity that I've seen about you was because of that headline and not the content of the article. Yeah, well, you know, I think the thing is, I suppose I always knew with the topics about you was because of that headline yeah and not the content of the article like yeah well you know I think the thing is I suppose I always knew with the topics that I wanted to write about um and the things that I wanted to say I suppose when you're speaking truth to power um there's always

going to be people who don't want to hear that I remember um before asking for it came out my father was the first person to read it and I was a little bit wary because you know he's lived in Tonicilty his whole life you know he's real sort of small town he played football um and I was a little bit wary because you know he's lived in tonic guilty his whole life you know yeah he's real sort of small town he played football and I was a bit concerned and he he sort of sat me down and he said you know this is going to be a really important book and he said I hope you're prepared and I said prepared for watching he said there's going to be people reading this book some people will realize that they've been raped some people will realize that they break the law and he said and those people

will not want to have that realization and you're the messenger and he said you know he just said I just want you to be prepared and I kind of there's nothing that can prepare you from for that there's nothing that can prepare you for people hating you just because you've tried to argue that maybe equality is a good idea but you know you just have to I just try and switch off and not you know I don't read you know I don't search for my name on Twitter I that maybe equality is a good idea. But I just try and switch off. I don't search for my name on Twitter. I don't look at boards.ie.

I don't do all of that kind of thing. Oh, you should go to boards. Yeah. I would never sleep ever again. I would be like, oh my God. That's a fucking sewer. But Jesus, that's really profound what he said because I hadn't thought of that. I hadn't thought of them in particular that people who that reading their book

would actually go oh shit that thing that happened 20 years ago yeah fuck there's a name for that yeah and I had written that off from my own mental health yeah or even I mean fucking hell yeah so yeah he is very profound it's like living with Buddha sometimes. And it's a lot of sports analogies. And he's like, no, on the field. I'm like, I don't fucking care about what happens on the field. But anyway.

But, yeah, it's something I spoke about on one of my podcasts recently about, we'll say, the reaction around the Belfast trial and so many young lads that were angry about it, you know. And what I felt was is that on top of, we say, a misogyny, it's like they have very clearly defined definitions of what rape is. And for a lot of lads, rape is a physically violent act

that happens down an alleyway from creeps. And those same lads are actually quite like, let's beat them up with sticks. But when it happens in a bedroom at a party or it happens in a situation where it's blurred yeah they're not willing to take that on board as rape because it's too close to home i agree and i think i remember reading a study i think it was the university of dakota and they did this study where they asked um like a whole series of college men you know if you know if you could have if you could force a woman to

have sex with you um and no one would find out about you and there would be no consequences i think something like 35 of them said yes and then as soon as you said but would you rape a woman they were all like oh no no no like it's like they couldn't sort of correlate it's like okay um but um and i think that is the problem i suppose as suppose as well, when I was growing up, it was a stranger danger in an alleyway, a man with a knife that was going to sort of drag you in, whereas actually most people will know the person who's raping them. And I remember having... It's funny, I remember with the Ulster Rugby Rape Trial, the text messages that had been going between the victim and her friend previously,

they'd been talking about what they would do if they got raped. And I remember a lot of the media was like oh my god I can't believe that it's like she knew and I said women are always having these kinds of conversations I remember having this conversation with a friend when I was 15 saying what would you do if you were raped and we said if it was someone that we knew locally and we both said actually we probably wouldn't say anything because it would be too awkward living in a small town and you know you'd be going out and you'd see them and you'd be going to the same parties and forever you would be the girl who got raped.

And so I think it's particularly hard in small communities or in places like Ireland when a lot of the time you won't just know the victim but you also might know the perpetrator and you're like, oh, they seem like a really nice guy. It's really hard for me to believe that they could do it. and you're like, oh, they seem like a really nice guy, it's really hard for me to believe that they could do it. But the definition is because that person doesn't look like he has a knife down an alleyway with a big trench coat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's about trying to... And also, the thing is, I have male cousins who are 18 and 19, and I worry about them as well, because I've been advocating proper sex education and programmes around consent, and there's so much resistance to that, even at college, at a third level. And I'm like, it's too late.

Yeah, but it's too late at third level. They should be doing this when... Because I think we're failing not just our young women, but actually our young men as well, because I would hate to see someone like one of my cousins get into a situation where he didn't understand what consent looked like, and then did something that he would will regret for the rest of his life and i think it's really important that's why i think education is the sex education system in

this in this country is dismal i mean we had someone come into us um and who gave us they did like it was like a traveling drama group and they did this when you were getting sex i was thinking like last week. No. Why do you have to... It's been a hard year, okay? Yeah, so it was when I was in Leaving Search. So, like, not that long ago.

And there was like this travelling group and they did this little play about basically like chastity and staying virgins until you were married. And, like, legitimately for about 90% of that year it was like that ship has sailed my friend but like it was just that was the only sex education that we had in six years of school I mean that's just insane we had a priest that told us didn't say anything about sex it was a fucking priest was he talking about tennis balls what was he talking about tennis balls it wasn't Was he talking about tennis balls? It wasn't tennis balls.

All he couldn't... He was probably supposed to talk about actual sex between humans, right? But he couldn't even bring himself to do that. So the gist of it was, do never wank. Yeah. And if you have a wet dream, it means that you dreamt about having sex with the devil that's really extreme

it's very extreme yeah and that was limerick in the 90s to be fair at least he was acknowledging that he masturbated for girls that was like oh no no no none of us do that I was like oh fuck I'm the only one this is really scary

is that the same? no because I find None of us do that. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm the only one. This is really scary. Is that the same? No, because I find now, and this is one thing I've noticed recently, I find with adults, we say, not necessarily teenagers, I think female masturbation is something that's kind of celebrated. And then male masturbation is, keep that to yourself, lads.

But there is a kind of a celebration around, I know now sex toys have been liberated recently and they're no longer looking exactly like a penis. Which is a good thing, you know what I mean? But like, if a woman gets a sex toy, like there's sex toy parties and stuff, it's something to be celebrated. If a lad decides he wants a fleshlight. No, but come on, like. You are not going to your buddies and saying, I got a fleshlight, lads, who wants to go?

Can you imagine lads having a fleshlight party? But, like, isn't that something to look at, you know? To be fair, I suppose it's because women have been stigmatised for their sexuality for so long that we're trying to, I suppose, push through those boundaries so that when a woman talks about sex and about sex toys, it feels subversive in a way. There's a liberation there, yeah.

Actually, it's funny because I was on a website recently that was selling sex toys. Sorry. Yes, yay me! There was this toy called... It was so revolting. It was like a woman's torso. I mean, it was really... It was just so... It was like a a woman's torso um i mean it was really it was just so anyway it was

just a torso and yeah exactly but it was just the language that they used around it it was like you know oh you know that you can just fuck her and then put her away and i mean some of it was like okay right it's what men want did you contrast that put us into the cupboard what then is the language around female sex toys oh it's not i mean this was really into the cupboard. But what's the... I'm just asking. I'm just asking. What then is the language around female sex toys? It's not... I mean, this was really hardcore

and it was just... It just... It was really degrading and, like, the language was, like... It was just really explicit. So you felt that the target audience for this, it wasn't necessarily a man

who wanted a masturbatory tool. It was someone who wanted... No, no, no, no. Yeah, it's kind of the idea of, I could imagine like you know like incels you know these in body a salivate sort of this subgroup of men's rights activists on the internet and you could just a man it's just there's something really perverse about it it was like a sex like you know this idea of sex robots and they'd be like robotics I don'tics Institute of America did a study and they said that 30% of the men

that they polled said that they would use a sex robot. And 30% of the women said that they were really against this. But I think it's... There was one... Did you hear about that? It was like that Samantha, the sex toy, at that fair in Austria. And apparently she got... Is it robotic? Yeah, it was like an actual woman, like a sex robot,

and they destroyed her, like as in she malfunctioned by the end of the day. Like, it's so fucked up. And do you mean just through overuse or through... Oh yeah, just as in like they were like... And the guy who created it was really upset about it. How dare they treat her like this? Yeah, but she was like... She just started basically just like malfunctioning who created it was really upset about it. How dare they treat her like this?

Yeah, but she was like, she just started basically just like malfunctioning because they were like, I'd say basic climbing on top of her is what the description came out of it. And I think there's a real, like obviously that's a very extreme example, but I think it's sort of indicative of a certain faction of men, hashtag not all men, before any of you start tweeting me. And that kind of, I don't know, and I think that was actually,

and I'm relating that back to the Ulster rugby rape trial, because whatever you think happened on that night, I think the WhatsApp messages just really highlighted a very sinister attitude towards women. It's like they didn't see her as a human being, like the idea of, oh, we stuffed her and we roasted her. And it's nearly like they saw her as, like, a sex doll. And I think that's why I think some of these,

it's just trying to tie all of these pieces together and just to see that they're not all happening in isolation, that they're all linked. And I think creating an environment where male sexuality is encouraged to be incredibly aggressive yeah absolutely aggressive and you didn't hear the podcast I did about that about toxic masculinity Jess yeah yeah so like I was just trying to retrace my steps in terms of what was I thought about sex like first off like I said sex education failed me don't wank you're sleeping with the devil so like all I had was the lads in school and it was basically just

what did you get offer and then also the the big pervasive thing is I Jesus Christ I like I I must have been 1920 before the conversation moved into women actually enjoy sex when you're a teenager a boy girls we think girls don't enjoy sex it's a thing they have and you they reluctantly must give it to you and you have to trick it out of them yeah and that was the normal attitude but I think actually I think young women are taught that as well you know I remember when I was having sex and be like I mean I never do this it's you you're so special idea of like oh okay you persuaded me okay okay and I actually think that's really dangerous because like you should never have to be persuaded or per se persuade someone to have sex and I think it's actually about teaching young women that not

only is it okay for them to say no but actually it's okay for them to say yes as well and to say this is what I want this is what I enjoy and not to I suppose that I feel like sex sometimes when you're that age can be for a woman can be very performative that it doesn't matter about your pleasure that it's really focusing on you know how they're perceiving you and how attractive you're looking and and also even just and it should be the other way around because it's really easy to make a lad come yeah you know what i mean well yes and that and to be fair that's um that's part of the problem that's part of the well not part of the problem but i suppose it's i have a good point i promise it's just i think it's the idea that i suppose that the male orgasm is like expected and it's like well

He's definitely going to come and like you know the female orgasm. You're like well look It's nice if it happens, but like we don't have all day here That's I think should totally be dismantled and broken down, but you know it's really important that both parties enjoy it I suppose it is yeah If someone walked in there it sounded like you were talking about politics Yeah, yeah. If someone walked in there, it'd sound like you were talking about politics.

Yeah. Right, let's go through these hot, hot questions. It has to be so draining, writing. How does Louise manage her self-care at different stages in the writing process? The writing itself is okay. I tend to be really disciplined when I'm doing it, and that helps. While I'm writing I'll do a morning yoga class four times a week and I'll go to the gym four or five times a week.

I won't drink and I go to bed really early. I live quite a monastic lifestyle. So that's all part of your process. If you look after you, then your brain will give you what you need later on. you, then your brain will give you what you need. And I need to have very little going on in my life, actually, to be quite boring, so that the main focus is the story that I'm creating and the world that I'm inhabiting while I'm doing it. Publicity, actually, I find, because I've had two books back-to-back, so I've been doing sort of two publicity tours, and I actually find that way more draining, because you kind of have to, like this, you know, you sort of have to perform this is you know you sort of have

to perform in a way and then I think a lot of that is you know people asking questions and you know sometimes I've always been really open about you know my own experiences of sexual violence or my history of eating disorders because I thought it was really important to destigmatize some of those issues because I don't think I need to be ashamed of them yeah but also when you're being asked about it over and over and over again and often you know sometimes they would ask like really really personal questions that felt very invasive and you'd sort of walk away feeling very hollow yeah and when you're someone who tends to fill a feeling

of hollowness with addictive behavior it's something I had to be really, really careful of. Because after the Asking For It, when that was released, I did really struggle. So this year I've been trying to be much more, I think, mindful of just taking care of myself and prioritising my recovery above everything else. And when you spoke about there, your own experiences, we'll say, of sexual assault, right? When you were writing Asking For It, was there a cathartic element of writing it or was there a sense of it being

upsetting um it was upsetting i mean i think it was such an intense i when i write i tend to sort it's nearly like method acting like i'm really really absorbed in it yeah yeah you know and i just because it's just easier that way i feel like like once I'm in a flow, it just comes. Whereas if I took a few days off and then went back to it, I would find it hard to kind of get back into the character's voice again. But that was definitely the most difficult book I've ever written because I was just, before I started, first of all, I had to sit down, I had to sit my parents down and my sister and say, you know, this happened to me when I was a teenager

because I knew that would probably come up in interviews and I had never told them. And they were really upset about that, obviously. So even from the very beginning. And then midway through, I started having nightmares pretty much every night about being raped. And it was really intense. By the time I finished, it took me ages to start writing again

because I really thought, oh, I don't know if I'll ever be able to write something ever again because it was that intense. but the other two have been a little bit easier anyway so did you get tempted afterwards to go I'm gonna write something mad that has nothing to do with my own life at all well on Mars yeah I mean to be fair I suppose like not none of the books are about me do you know it's using certain things and I suppose because a lot of the things that I have experienced are there are universal issues that affect a lot of women I did feel like it was important maybe to use my voice or use my platform to shine a spotlight on those and to explore those further you know particularly obviously in fiction even though I do it in my

column as well but yeah I think that was why with Almost Love because everyone kept saying to me oh what issue is the next book going to be about? And I just, I'm a bit contrary, and I kind of wanted to, I think, just not feed into other people's expectations of me. So I wrote a book about a toxic love affair, because I felt like if I wrote that, then I would have freedom going forward, like creative freedom to write whatever I wanted, that I wouldn't feel pigeonholed into this sort of role as as activist even though that's really important I didn't want to sort of like that to be the only aspect of myself and with almost love no I haven't read almost love but I heard buddies talking

about us and like from what I hear the protagonist is really not likeable yeah I guess yeah is that a conscious choice I mean it's interesting we described it to me as a very intelligent Fifty Shades of Grey yeah unfortunately what I'd love it if it's all these seven into coffee but I yeah I know just for the people yeah no sorry I'm almost love is about a young woman called Sarah who becomes embroiled in a really toxic love affair with a man 20 years her senior called Matthew. And I suppose it's really about obsession and desire and gender politics and female sexuality.

And it felt, it was funny, it didn't feel quite zeitgeisty when I was writing it, but I think actually in the wake of the Me Too movement where we're expanding now not just to look at sexual violence and sexual assault, but also just to look at I suppose sexual politics between men and women as a whole.

And that's what the book deals with. But it's been interesting with Sarah because a lot of people have come back and said, oh, I really hated her. And then a lot of people have told me in private or in private DMs on Instagram going, oh my God, I am Sarah. That's exactly it. I'm like, I think it's interesting.

Do you think it's possible that people hate her because they remind them of parts of themselves that they don't want to take ownership of? No, I agree. And I also think that when you're writing a book from one person's perspective, we all have cruel thoughts. We all have petty thoughts.

We all think maybe unkind things, but most of us don't act in them because we're good people. But said you can't it will be like I think dishonest of me not to reflect that in the book and I also think I really wanted to play with gendered ideas of how we think women should behave and how we think women should act because I'm a bit of a people pleaser and I think that has really been a burden on me actually is that need to be liked and that need to be you know nice and likable and I think that it's really important for young women to going up say that there's all different types you know you can be you can be an asshole you can

be lovely you can be whatever you want really and I think the thing is is that the male anti-hero is so well established in pop culture I just wonder if something like Breaking Bad had been written about like you know if that was a female protagonist. I just don't know if it would have been acceptable in the same way. Look at how people felt about Skylar in Breaking Bad. Yes, she got more shit. Her fucking husband's off dealing meth

and being a total prick. And she's the bitch? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But again, we have so much higher standards. Which I actually think is really... It's funny when people say, you hate men. And I'm like, I mean? Yeah. But again, we have so much higher standards. Which I actually think is really... It's funny when people say, oh, you hate men. And I'm like, I really don't. I actually think I just expect more from men

than maybe what society does. Because I think at the moment we have really high standards for women and we sort of expect women to be perfect and to be the sort of upholders of this moral standard. And then we dismiss men with this sort of boys will be boys and i'm like i don't believe that i think that men are just as capable so yeah um i recommended to lads on my podcast to to basically actually i'll take it on to a question that someone gave me because it relates to this point.

Does it bother Louise when men report that my podcast has opened their eyes, taught them about some aspect of male privilege and sexism, when women have been talking about it forever? Or does she feel that it doesn't matter how they learn so long as they learn? I actually think, to be honest, someone said this to me recently, and it was about you, actually. They were like, I feel like you and Blind Boy are saying the exact same things, but he's been sort of hailed as this hero, whereas you're this anarchist, radical feminist who just wants to burn all the men in a bonfire

and be like, women only. I mean, that sounds great, but... LAUGHTER So, no, I think... And it was funny, because I suppose I hadn't... I hadn't really thought about it, but I think there's a good point there. And I do think...

Firstly, I think it's really important that you are talking about the things that you are talking, because you will reach... You'll reach people that I can't. And I suppose the thing is is that i think that we do need men to be our allies in this we need because you know in let's say all male spaces in like the kind of proverbial locker rooms that we actually need men to step up and say that's not cool that's not acceptable you can't talk about that and to remove the social currency

from that sort of laddish um uh banter i suppose in a way. But I... What I do is, what I find in that situation, too, when I am calling out my friends, if I hear them speak about a girl, I would say, and if they're completely removing her personages, making her an object, I kind of... I appeal to their selfishness. I say to them, if you speak about that woman in that way,

that aggressive way, that's going to come... That level of hatred that you're expressing, you're not going to escape that later on in the week. That toxic talk will result in a toxicity towards yourself, and it won't help you with the depression or anxiety you're going through at the moment. What you're saying about that girl, I know you think it's banter, but it's far from compassionate. And unless you express compassion for someone else or yourself, you're not getting rid of that issue inside yourself, you know what I mean? And I do find that gets true, because it's less finger wagging.

It's like, here is how this affects you too. And then I find that lads actually listen. No, I think that's great. I mean, sometimes it can feel frustrating when even when you're talking about feminism, you have to say, oh, it'll benefit you as well. If it's not just good enough that it'll empower women or that we

need to, I suppose, bring women up. It's not about dragging men down, it's about lifting women up so that we're all equal. And I can understand that if you have had the power and if you've had the control and the status quo has benefited you in a way, that it can feel slightly frightening when that begins to shift

and you might think, oh, I'm going to lose something of mine. And we're not trying to take anything from you, it's just that we believe that we should have equal rights and opportunity and that's all that feminism is about. And sometimes it can be really frustrating to feel like you make up 51% of the population and that you're treated like a minority. And I think that that's something that needs to shift as well how do you feel about a performative feminist lads like lads

wearing a repeal jumper or going into a nightclub to expect a shift it happens go to a hipster bar there's a lad in the corner with that jumper. That's a thing. Yeah, it's there. It's definitely there. Do you think we should stop patting lads on the back for doing shit they should be doing anyway? No, and I absolutely, I agree.

And I think that is what, you know, even what we were just saying there is that, like, you and I will say the same things. And because you're a man and because you're talking about issues that predominantly affect women, it's sort of like, well, we should give you a medal. Yeah. Whereas, and that is if, because I'm talking about these issues, that it's as if I'm trying to sort of push my own agenda rather than saying no this is actually about benefiting society as a whole. And just about fairness I think even you know since I was a child I've always been like this isn't fair, this isn't fair, my parents are like well life isn't fair and I'm like well fuck that I you know I think that we should change and it's you know and I just think sometimes it can it can feel as if men are like all things being equal because I know sometimes when you talk about the idea of

I suppose male privilege and then you will have you know someone who let's say is from working class will look you know look at me who's middle class and say well you have more privilege than I do and I think the thing is that all things being equal like you know class and sexuality and race all of those things being equal men are rewarded more and they're also excused for more. And I think that that, again, needs to be tackled. And it's funny, I suppose, this whole idea around, you know, that you hate men. And I'm like, well, no, I really don't. But I do hate the system that benefits men at the cost of women and at the cost of, you know,

people of colour and, you know, things like that. And I think that the only way that we're going to move forward as a society to be a more fair, a more compassionate society is to dismantle, I suppose, the patriarchy. So let's burn that shit down. And how significant, in terms of what you're talking there and the progress, right, how significant do you think repealing the aid was? Do you think, like, obviously there's the evidence-based, now women are going to have access to healthcare. But we said the cultural, a cultural shift.

Like, is that going to make a difference, do you think? I mean, I have to say, it was funny because I was canvassing and the results that we saw last Friday were actually like that was bearing out on the doors you know like for every kind of five yeses there would be one no but for some reason I still thought it was going to be really tight. Yeah me too. And I couldn't believe it when the results came in and I suppose as well what I found really frustrating throughout the entire campaign was that I kept getting asked yeah but like what are people going to vote down the country you know throughout the entire campaign was that I kept getting asked,

yeah, but what are people going to vote down the country? As if we were too busy digging our potatoes. You were a representative for the Boggars. Hopefully Dublin will save us. So I think it was really wonderful to see that bearing out, that there wasn't that rural-urban divide, even with men and women, but also I thought what was most heartening was to see that the number one reason that people

gave for voting to repeal was a woman's right to choose. Because I really thought it was going to be, I thought it would be the hard cases that would get us over the line, I thought it would be rape, I thought it would be fatal fetal abnormality, I thought it would be incest. So that I thought was just, I'm still actually trying to process that. And it has made me, I suppose, because I've always felt really proud of being from Ireland and being Irish. But, you know, like I did an event in New York a couple of years ago and midway through the woman said, well, you know, Louise does come from a country where they don't have legal abortion. There was like this audible gasp in the room and it kept coming up to me afterwards.

They were like, it must be very hard. The priests control do they and you're like yeah and like do you have electricity so I think this reflects I suppose more the Ireland that I hoped that I lived in um and I think that that's really wonderful but like we still have I mean we still have work to do like you know Northern Ireland don't have access and And also, I think, with the people that were on the anti-choice side, obviously I didn't agree with them, I didn't agree with some of their tactics. They've all started volunteering for organisations that have children now. I was just going to say, yeah. You could not, I suppose, dispute the energy and the enthusiasm.

And now it's like, well, it's time to redirect that. For rape crisis centres, for domestic violence centers for children who are living in disadvantaged areas for a child line for Bernardos you know for the women and children who are actually alive today rather than the you know children that might have existed in the future and I think that is something that I would really love to see that their energies be redirected in that kind of manner and it'd be class but my worry is they're just going to follow the American model where they protest places where abortions are happening you know it's terrifying here's a question right I'm saying this one now because it's it's quite hilarious the

person how they said it oh god how has living at home been for yourself? Is your self-image as a young, successful female author? Then one hour later, she responds to her own tweet, Oh goodness, I'm so scared you'll see this and think I meant it in the mean way. I really didn't. Oh, I'm so sweet. I'm guessing she probably lives at home herself.

Yeah, probably. It's funny, because I obviously, when I went to university I just could not wait to leave Clonaculty and I, you know, went to Dublin and then I went to New York and every summer, you know, I went to South and Central America, I went to India, I did a J1, so I never kind of went home and then I think when I came home from New York, I was working for a fashion magazine over there and when I came home I decided that I would move back in with my parents basically because I didn't have any money and I wanted to

take the year out to write and then when I sold the book which was for Pitten so I couldn't afford to move out anyway and then I did I moved back up to Dublin and actually I just started to feel really overwhelmed you know the success of Asking For It took me by complete surprise I was you know the success of asking for it took me by complete surprise i was you know going on television i was um doing a lot of photo shoots and i started because obviously having had anorexia i started to get very conscious of like the way my body looked and i stopped eating yeah and i started losing quite a lot of weight and i remember going home and it was my dad again was like we're really worried about you you know and i think there was a part of me that felt I just needed to go home I needed to get back into focusing on recovery getting back into like proper therapy really putting that

to the forefront and I needed the support I just needed them just just to be just to mind me a bit actually yeah and now I just don't want to leave because I basically forgot never change my own bed sheets like that's the level of laziness that I'm on now and but I you know it's because I've basically forgotten how to change my own bed sheets. That's the level of laziness that I'm at now. But I recently, I was hoping to buy a house and it fell through. And they were both so funny. They were both really chuffed about it. I was like, I'm distraught. And they were like, yeah, but we get to keep you for another while. I'm clearly a dream to live with is all I'm going to take away from this. But no, I think for me it was the support and it was

I suppose as well, the way that I write is quite obsessive. So I need someone to say, like have you had a shower? That kind of, you know like isn't that certain? Yeah. It's very obsessive. It's just me and the desk and I don't think about anything else and I can't

like I'm a terrible, like I left a friend's wedding early because I thought of a plot point and I was like, oh no, this will work and I have to go. Like it's and I can't, like I'm a terrible, like I left a friend's wedding early because I thought of a plot point, and I was like, oh no, this will work, and I have to go. Like it's terrible, I know, I know, I know, you're all like, oh my god, I'm a terrible person. Do you think that's because of the nature you're writing is so first person? Yes, I think when I'm in it,

it's really hard to think about anything else. I'm just so consumed by it. So as well as that, it's a bit like when you're doing your leaving search and you can't think about anything else and your parents sort of mind you a bit that's what it's like when I'm writing and when I was travelling a lot as well so I think it was nice just to come home

and just have normality and not have to do you find people make shitty remarks about it about living at home I'm trying to decipher the Irish attitude towards living at home with your parents I think it's become normalised now a bit because of like in Dublin a lot of people live with their fucking parents

because they want to try and buy a house down the country you can't live at home because there's no job so you have to fuck off to Dublin I don't think, I've never gotten I suppose the thing is that I could have it's not, it suppose the thing is is that I could have you know it's not like it's it's a choice for me you know that I could

afford to move out if I wanted to but at the moment it's just I needed that extra bit of support I need that extra bit of stability and now obviously moving forward that'll change so I don't I never felt it and also to be honest I think I decided when I moved home from New York because I have been so caught off up until that point about the impression that I was giving other people, you know, that I was doing this job that I didn't really like, but I was really concerned with, oh, this will look really cool and people will be really impressed by this. So I think I came home and I was a bit like, I'm going to live my life on my own terms.

I'm not going to have a timetable of I'm going to get married at this point or I'm going to buy a house at this point. I was like, I'm just going to live life the way it kind of comes at me and do it on my terms and so if people did think oh that's pathetic she should move out I wouldn't actually care it works for me and that's all that matters what is so fucking damaging that business you're talking about there about them living your life by someone else's expectation like I mean fuck me that that's really yeah do you know I mean that that's a recipe for mental health problems right

there you know it is like it's it's I spoke about on a podcast it's the car Rogers I gotta just cause it the real and the ideal self if you live your life in this ideal self this sense of how would other people like me to be yeah there's no way to reconcile the kind of a self compassion but if you live as you yourself would like to see yourself, and fuck anyone else, chances are you'll be on a general level of happiness. You mentioned therapy there.

Are you actively seeing a therapist? Oh, yes. I have an online coach, and I also have someone that I see on a weekly basis. And what's the nature of that? Is there a specific type, or do you just speak? Well, usually, because my life is quite dramatic, I just speak and by the end of it,

she looks like as if she's just been watching a soap opera for an hour. I honestly think she kind of looks forward to me coming in. She's like, what is she going to say this time? But it's such a luxury. And I think, you know, I've been asked in certain, certain people would say, well, will you have to do that forever and i always say well you know i like to keep fit and i don't think that if i keep fit for four months that i'm going to be fit for the rest of my life yeah of course i know that i'm gonna have to keep going

into the gym and i think that is with um your mental well-being as well that you need to you need to prioritize that and it was for me like like i've been this this past year that i've really like thrown everything into my recovery i've never been this past year that I've really thrown everything into my recovery I've never been this well and it actually makes me really frustrated because I had the money to do it and I think that that's what annoys me is that this idea that mental health

and well-being and emotional stability nearly is actually only the preserve of people who can afford it because therapy is a luxury that not everyone can afford if we all went to therapy we'd all be like donald trump if you're on a fucking therapy if you're on a medical yard and you go to your doctor with depression they just fuck a lot of pills in here you know and there's no i mean there's there's

there's definitely like a role for um you know pharmaceutical um intervention as well um but i think that it's we just don't talk in this country. And I think that was why we've always had such a history of alcoholism, is that people had all of these feelings, and they didn't know how to express them, and they just wanted to stuff them down. And I know myself that, like, with my own eating disorder, it was a way of numbing out.

It was a way of whenever I felt upset or stressed, or even happy, actually. I didn't want an extreme of either emotion. I just wanted to feel completely numb. And I think that's what all addictions are based on an inability to say this is how I feel this is what I need and I think we should be talking about this from a much younger age as well you know completely even children that vocabulary being like it's okay to express your emotions but even know what the fucking emotions are yeah you know I mean I mean I was at the throes of my anxiety like I would not have been able to correctly identify

Was I angry was I sad was I afraid? Yeah, it was all this Like a burning fire of unpleasantness Yeah, but there was no actual ability to go I am angry right now or my sadness will communicate itself as fear and Once I got a hold on being able to identify the separate emotions then I could take ownership of them and get it get recovered myself you know what I mean yeah but we're not talking about that you don't like um I always say it starts at like when someone's about three or four years of age and they go to play school or whatever and they see their their friend in play school has got a new tonka truck or whatever and they're jealous but the jealousy

expresses itself as I'm going to go over and kick that Tonka truck that's what happens but at that moment an intervention should occur where the child is told I know you feel angry I know you've expressed anger but that's not actually anger that's jealousy and that has to do with your self-esteem you thought this person was better than you because of something they owned and then your brain said I am angry I can hit them but that goes back into oh I can hit myself later on then you know I mean it's that's poor emotional intelligence yeah and that needs to be done at three years of age because that's when that shit starts we know that from development and psychology yeah and I

think if you actually feel them they dissipate much quicker it's when you try and suppress it when you try and not feel it it's like it builds up and then it just like explodes in like a really inappropriate way i think especially with with anger it was because a lot of women have been taught that you know that we we can't be angry um and i suppose the flip side of that is that many men have been told that the only feeling that they're allowed to have is anger and it's like anger isn't actually a bad thing in and of itself it's the appropriate um i suppose expression of that yeah and that most of us are kind of finding that quite difficult um to do to articulate it even so i hope you're having a good comedy festival yeah

i'm sorry this is my fault. We're an hour into it so usually what I do around now is I put a roving mic around the room if anyone wants a fucking question. Who's got a boiling hot question? About anything now. It could be about, we have a lady over here. She went like this, I haven't seen that since I was seven. Holy fuck. Dwi ddim wedi gweld hynny ar y sefydliad. O'r ffyc! Yn y cyd â'r Rhymgeithio, hyd yn oed yn y wythnos diwethaf, rydym wedi gweld y naratif wedi'i ail-gyflawni i'r debyg ei bod wedi dechrau i'r llaw. Nid yw'n wych bod y menywod wedi'u cyflwyno i'r llaw. Mae wedi bod tri adroddiad heddiw

nad oedd yn cael ei g been three articles today that the NWCI weren't mentioned in, ARC weren't mentioned in and I just wonder how we can go about changing that narrative because that's going to be our history you know it's really frustrating

and I totally see where you're coming from because the repeal movement was a feminist-led grassroots movement, and I think it has been frustrating to see, I suppose, how the traditional media have tried to spin that. I think it was on Marion Finucane's show last week that someone was asked who did he think were the main, I suppose, drivers of the repeal movement, and he named four men.

And I'm like, come on now, at least throw Alva Smith in there, throw us a bone. And it is really frustrating. I think the problem here is that a lot of the times when you talk about history or when you talk about the narrative, that has been traditionally dictated to us by like white straight men and I think sometimes I know you know I've noticed even as an author when I mean I've been pretty lucky because I've been reviewed very widely but I know that friends of mine would say that it's much harder for them to have their books reviewed or taken seriously then let's say their male peers and in a way I think that we keep fighting to get keys to the castle and I just don't know if we need to ignore that and just build our own because I'm not sure

if they're ever going to let us in I don't mean that in a I don't I don't mean that in a like I suppose really negative way but I just think it's about us actually saying no we will take control of this narrative, we will write the oral histories of this, we will stake our claim in this movement because we were there and we know what won this referendum and who the people involved were. And I suppose that is why I think that there needs to be, you know, when we're talking about, like, the media or when we're talking about even, like, boardroom tables or in the Houses of Parliament, that's why we need, like, representation,

that's why we need equal representation, that's why we need women in there as well, to have a voice and to ensure that that voice... Because we already have voices, but it's to ensure that those are being heard. So I think that's maybe what we have to do moving forward but why do you think it's happened or like what why why would they bother saying they're right now like I saw an article there said this I can't remember where it was but uh Linda from abortion rights campaign oh yeah did massive

massive work amazing she shared it going like they're completely writing out what we did like what's the incentive like why are they doing it it's it's baffling like is the glory is it glory but is it i mean is it straight up agenda or is it complete and utter ignorance i mean it's really hard for me to answer that um because obviously i you know i can't speak um for those people i mean it does feel like i suppose particularly in like, particularly in politics I can see the politicians going let's make it about us in a way I can understand that because that's how they will get re-elected

as if they claim some of this glory and to be fair, Leah Bradker and Simon Harris both did they did step up they did at the last minute and this is my thing with Harris and Bradker that's what you should have been doing lads. Yeah.

You know, we have to be very careful about patting them on the back. No, I agree. You're a minister for fucking health. I know. I know. And I suppose... Like, what do you want? Do you know what I mean?

I said, my fucking bin man comes over. Like, I'm not going to pat him on the back for collecting my bins. Yeah. It was interesting. I'm not sure if any of you saw Claire Daly's speech. It was just so powerful. Phenomenal, yeah. Yeah, and she was so right, though. It's like, you know, as politicians, they haven't been

leading. They've barely been following. I just thought that was such a salient point, and I think, but politics in this country tends to be quite conservative. You know, it's changed, like, I mean, Savitia, like the Savitia case, that was 2012. And like, we didn't get a referendum for like another six years. Like, it does feel like everything moves at sort of a glacial pace. And I think it's just a fear of, of upsetting people and of alienating voters. And that's the problem is that, you know, we've got this political system where people are elected because they'll fix, I don't know, the holes in your road or that kind of attitude rather than, well, what are they going to do on a grander scale? What are they going to do to move Ireland forward?

What are they going to do to make sure that this is, as we've said, a more compassionate country that's fair to all of its citizens, men and women, whatever social class that they're in, that we all have equal rights and opportunities for all Irish men and women you know whatever social class that they're in that we all have like that was in the constitution equal rights and opportunities for all Irish men and women and it would be nice to see I suppose a political party working towards that aim rather than a kind of a cronyism trying to please you know the constituents back home do you think that lies on the constituents to not be voting in Egypt yeah but it's tough when they're going to fix the bottleothole, like, you know. To be fair, it is. But seriously, like, I mean, we've got fucking

Willie O'Dea down in Limerick, you know, and he was a pro-anti-choice. He actually does good things for the community in Limerick and when the people in Limerick feel completely ignored and the heady rays

in fucking Kerry. And who's that lunatic from Tipperary? Matty McGrath. Matty McGrath. No, the guy worse than that, the fella who sold a lot of mobile phones to Dennis O'Brien or something. Who is he? Lowry.

Like, people vote for fucking Lowry because they're obviously doing something to the parish pump, you know? And that obviously is the problem at the top. It's like, stop ignoring these small communities and we'll stop voting in lunatic yeah I mean people care about their doorstep you know yeah they do any other questions this this lady here first a microphone I'm gonna go back to almost love and you said that a lot of women identified as Sarah. I'm one of them.

Yes. Did you have any men identify as Matthew? No. How many of us? No, no, no, no. Is he the older toxic man? Yes, he's the older guy, yeah. I always find it really amusing because he uses Sarah for sex

and he's really emotionally abusive to her. And no one has ever said to me, oh my God, Matthew's such a dick. It's always like, Sarah's not very nice, is she? Because we expected her to match you, though. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I said, well, he's a guy, so it's fine. But, yeah, no, it's funny.

A lot of people have said that to me, that they're like, I really identified as Sarah. But no one has said that to me. I mean, it would be kind of weird if they're like, oh, yeah. That would be very odd. Yeah. I mean, I'd like it. Do you know that abusive man?

Yeah. That's me. And I just want to... Thanks very much for highlighting that. To be fair, my go-to line now is when someone says, they're like, oh, are you Sarah? Which, I mean, the conflation of female artists and the characters that they create is just hilarious. And I always just say, no, no, I'm actually a Matthew. And then you can just see there go,

just a string of, you know, men brokenhearted, but it's fine. So, so yeah, so I think it's, yeah, it can be, I find with Sarah that I really, I really like it when people say that they identified with her because I wanted to create a character that I felt was the most raw and the most honest character that I've ever created

because I actually don't think we see enough of that with female characters. And I was told that. They were like, you're going to need to temper this. She's going to need to be slightly more likeable. I was like, I still... Fuck them. Yeah, I agree. I think all I care about is whether people will read it and say she feels real.

I don't really care if they say whether she's likeable or not because I hope that the story is compelling enough to sort of bring the reader along with it. And it has been slightly annoying the way I think that narrative has taken over because there's so many things in the book about, you know, grief. It's a study in grief. It's a study in creativity and art

and who gets to make art and who gets to call themselves art and how gender and privilege intersect with that and obviously it is about I suppose obsessive love and how women are conditioned to silence themselves in relationships and it just felt a little bit frustrating to see a lot of the reviewers focus on the unlike you know it's like oh she's really unlikable and I felt like saying well you know you've both totally missed the point while simultaneously proving my point so so thanks for that but yeah it's been interesting to see I suppose that that's sort of taken precedence over everything else I'm talking about it so but annoying but you can't control it and I

can take one more question because they're going to boot us out of here so a comedian can come on and tell a load of jokes. There's one lone hand over there the lights are very strong in Kilkenny. That sounds like a Nathan Carter song. It does doesn't it? I can imagine him releasing that

the lights are very strong in the beginning. Hi, hello everyone. This is a question for Louisa. Seeing as you're living at home at the moment, do you have any kind of therapeutic rituals that you can perform only at home or near your homestead? And if so, how important are they to you in your day-to-day life? That's a good question.

And it's funny, when I'm on tour, I have slightly struggled. I've tried to sort of treat it as a marathon and you know gone to the gym and you did I've done things like that, but when I'm at home like I go to the beach a lot and I meditate I'll do you know I have yoga and things about night It's much easier for me when I'm at home to I thrive on routine, and I think that's part of having had an addiction and also anxiety and things like that that it actually alleviates a lot of that if I have a very healthy

routine and I suppose it can be harder when I'm travelling or when I'm on tour or doing publicity to sort of maintain that routine, so I'm just really looking forward to now once this is over and once the play has, not this particular podcast, once this podcast is over,

I'll be done. But once the stage adaptation of Asking for It is premiering in Cork in June. So once that's over, I think I'll be able to just return to that level of self-care that I enjoy at home.

Shall I fuck off to Lanzarote or something? No. I hate the sun. I'm so pale. Everyone's been delighted the last few days because it's sunny rwy'n ei fwynhau yn y tŵm. Felly, dwi'n gallu ffwrdd â'r ffwrdd ar y rade neu rywbeth, na? Na! Rwy'n hoffi'r sôn. Rwy'n mor pely. Mae pawb wedi bod yn ddylithio dros y diwrnod diwethaf oherwydd mae'n sôn ac rwy'n yn llwyr yn y mewn, yn meddwl, o, Dduw, mae'n orfod. Felly, ie, rwy'n mor pely. Rwy'n mor pely am y sôn. Louise O'n Aile, bawb. Thank you.

So, thanks very much. This has been the Blind Boy Podcast. And apologies for, like, the probably maybe six people here who came here for a horse outside. Sorry about that. But thanks very much. You've been very sound. And I hope you have a lovely, lovely weekend. And have a bit of crack and look after yourselves.

So there you go. A lot of Marxism from a pair of cocks. Alright. So I'll see you next week. Where I'm going to deliver you a proper podcast. About a jacket and Nazi eugenics. God bless. Look after yourself.

Look after your neighbours. Have some compassion for your neighbours. Most importantly have some compassion for your neighbours. Most importantly, have some compassion for yourself. Yart. rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first ontario center in hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game

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