The Blindboy Podcast - I.R.A Glass

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

A meandering story which celebrates the practice of telling fibs and tall tales  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Slam your hand on the Anglican's banjo, you jangly Anthonys. Welcome to the Blind Buy Podcast. If this is your first episode, I always recommend going back to an earlier episode to familiarise yourself with the lore of this podcast. There's a fella that I know in Limerick. His name is Spider. And he got the nickname Spider because he was once seen leaving a river island with four pairs of

jeans but I don't know if that's true because Spider told me that that's why he's called Spider. Spider was the type of fella to come up with his own nickname which in Limerick and when I was growing up was a real taboo. You couldn't name, you couldn't give yourself a nickname. A nickname had to be earned. Other people had to give it to you. Spider was a liar, but not a manipulative liar. There was never any malice behind his lies. He wasn't deceptive. It's just every time you met Spider, he'd have a story so ridiculous that you didn't know whether or not to believe it. And you never wanted to call him out on his lies

because it felt kind of unfair because he wasn't trying to hurt anybody. And many a time I wanted to say it to him. Spider, do you think you're called Spider because of your elaborate web of lies? But I didn't because that'd be mean. When someone's a harmless liar, you tend to go along with it. You don't want to embarrass that

person by calling them out if their lies aren't hurting anyone. I haven't met Spider, Jesus, since before the pandemic. Last time I met Spider was about eight years ago, I'd say. I know him since we were kids he was from the country, he grew up on a farm but he went to school in Limerick City and his friends were from Limerick City and he'd come into Limerick City at the weekends and I think he always felt the need

to impress the city boys with bizarre stories about himself he's one of these liars where I don't care if it's true or not because it's too entertaining. I've often tried to encourage him to start writing his lies down because then they're not lies, they're fiction.

When we were children, he said that his father was good friends with the wrestler, the famous wrestler, The Undertaker. And on his 10th birthday, The Undertaker flew in from America and pile-drived him through his kitchen table. That didn't happen. Definitely didn't happen. It just didn't happen. There's no way. Even if his dad knew The Undertaker, the wrestler,

he didn't come to Limerick and smash a child through a kitchen table. Didn't happen, but Spider told everyone in school that it did, when we were about 15. And lads would tell other lads about their sexual experiences with girls. Spider said that he was at a house party. He was alone with a girl in a room. That's plausible. But nothing happened, because Spider got so excited that when she reached for his belt buckle,

the pressure of his erection caused the metal rivets of his fly to explode with such ferocity that they bounced off the walls and made the sound of ricocheting bullets. And then the girl ran away because she thought someone was trying to shoot him. That didn't happen. That defies the laws of physics. That didn't happen. But it revealed an emerging sophistication in Spider's lies, especially as he got older, because he'd start to lie about things in a way that wasn't boasting. That story there was a perfect example. Lots of lads were lying about sexual experiences with girls. Like loads of lads were like, oh oh I went away to Tenerife this summer and I had sex with a girl on a beach and lost my virginity. Because you get slagged if

you're a virgin. So lads used to make up these elaborate stories and you couldn't prove them. Spider was like I almost had sex but this happened. Like years later we must have been 25. I was out having a pint, I saw a spider. Spider, how are you getting on? What's the crack? What have you been up to? He told me he had a threesome with Jules Holland. Why the fuck would you make that up? Why would you lie about that? Why would you lie about that?

No disrespect to Jules Holland. That's not a boast. That's not something you brag about then I'm left going fuck it maybe it's true that's insane why would you make that up maybe it's true maybe he was over in England he was in a nightclub I don't know he was with a girl he met Jules Holland maybe it's true and then I went no no it's not true because when we were fucking 10 true and then I went no no it's not true because when we were fucking 10 this cunt said that the undertaker threw him through his kitchen table it's spider he's a liar in 2012 in 2012 a few people were scared that the world was going to end because the Mayan calendar the ancient Mayan

calendar had predicted that 2012 was the year that a cataclysmic event was going to happen. And Spider took this seriously. So I met Spider in 2012, would have been January. Bumped into him when I was having a pint. Happy New Year, Spider, how are you getting on? What have you been up to? And then he told me that on January 31st, 2011, he was so scared of the world coming to an end that he got a van and packed it with a load of tins of beans and bottles of water.

And he went up to Keeper Hill, which is the highest point in Tipperary. It's like the highest mountain in Munster. He went to the top of Keeper Hill in a van with supplies to wait it out. Plausible, completely plausible, mad but plausible. But then he said, while he was waiting up on Keeper Hill, waiting for the world to end, he was approached by a St. Barnard dog who was in heat and had gone vicious and wild from the smell of her own dog period so he had to run while this St. Barnard dog was chasing him hot on his heels running as fast as he can with this mad huge St. Barnard dog behind him and he's going through valleys and

forests and bushes and briars until eventually he sees the edge of a cliff, the edge of a quarry, and then he jumps to one side and the ferocious St. Barnard dog leaps and then flies off the edge of the cliff down into a quarry and dies. Oh, really? And listening to an adult telling you a story like that

with a straight face as if it really happened, listening you a story like that with a straight face as if it really happened listening to a story like that as an adult speaking to another adult it's hard work it's hard work listening to that and still being polite still being nice because he's not being mean I don't want to say bullshit that didn't fucking happen, you liar. I just go along with it. And then I'm thinking, alright, that definitely didn't happen. But fuck it, man. Up in Keeper Hill.

They used to have a lot of silver mines there. There's quarries there. Maybe it did happen. Maybe that actually happened. No, it didn't. It's a lie. I think that was the first time I suggested to him that he should start writing fiction. I was like, why don't you write that down? Why don't you write

it down into a story? That's a great story. That was the most polite way for me to call bullshit, to kind of say, you know, you've got a real talent for making shit up here. You can get paid for this, you know. He's told me that he was working on a farm and he had to kill an aggressive gander by wrapping an electric fence around its neck to stop its heart. He told me that his ex-girlfriend's father was trying to poison him by dipping duck eggs in bleach. He told me he'd developed a rash and the doctors discovered a virus in him that was so rare that a pharmaceutical company tried to buy his skin cells for 50 grand to develop a vaccine but he wouldn't sell them to

him but then other times he'd tell me lies and they'd nearly turn out to be true like he told me his third cousin was the bishop of the moon and i what? He's like yeah. He's a priest. He's the Bishop of the Moon. The Moon? Like in space? Yeah the fucking moon. Look him up. His name is Bishop John Noonan.

He's my third cousin. He's the Bishop of the Moon. So I went and looked it up. The current Catholic Bishop. Of Orlando. In Florida. Is from Limerick. He's from Limerick City. He's from Carbilly in Limerick. So the current Bishop of Orlando in Florida, his name is Father John Noonan. But how is this, how is he the Bishop of the Moon? Well there's this really strange Catholic law.

The roots of it would come from the quote-unquote Age of Discovery. That's a kind name for it. I prefer to call it the Age of Colonization. Post Christopher Columbus, when the nations of Europe were traveling to South America and North America, landing there and saying, ah here's some new land we've discovered this shit is ours. So the Catholic Church they brought in a law that said any newly discovered lands immediately becomes part of the diocese

where the ship sets sail from. But this created a strange situation in 1969 because that's when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon and the rocket was launched from Orlando Florida so technically under Catholic law the moon now belongs to the diocese of Orlando Florida and since 2010 the Bishop of Orlando Florida is Father John Noonan. So that makes him the Bishop of the Moon. The Bishop of the Moon

is from Limerick and he may well be Spider's third cousin. That's entirely plausible. That's plausible. But there's been other times where I've seen Spider's lies have real world consequences. A friend of mine was manager of a nightclub. A nightclub in Limerick around 2008. And one night he was down around the bar and he noticed these four lads just sitting at the bar and they had flight cases with them,

musical instruments. And these four lads, they looked very, very shocked. Shocked and upset. So my buddy, who's the manager, is like, I'm going to go speak to these lads and see what's up. So he gets talking to them. And they're four American lads. They're in a band.

They're in a heavy metal band. Now they're not huge but big enough to be doing a European tour but they told my buddy that they had met a promoter, an Irish promoter on Myspace and this promoter had booked them an entire tour of multiple venues up and down Ireland. And one of the venues was this nightclub that they were in. And then my buddy's like, I run this fucking nightclub. I've never heard of you. I'm not aware of you playing any gigs here. And they're like, we know.

As soon as we got to Ireland, we realised that this promoter hadn't booked any gigs at all. We don't even think he was a promoter. He was pretending to be a promoter on Myspace. And we just paid for our own flights. We brought all our equipment. And here we are in Limerick, ready to play a non-existent tour. And this is going to financially devastate us.

It turns out the promoter was Spider, who liked this band. He'd pretended to be a promoter and had created an elaborate fantasy where he'd booked them a giant tour in Ireland that didn't exist. He wasn't exploiting them, he didn't rob any money off them, he wasn't scamming him. He'd just woven an elaborate web of lies, believed in his own fantasy, and it created a real situation where these poor American lads have spent all their money and now they're in Ireland with no gigs and no tour. It doesn't exist.

And I remember hearing that story, feeling really sorry for the band, but also feeling kind of sorry for Spider, because I know he wasn't doing this with meanness in his heart. Fantasy was a more comfortable space to exist in than his lived reality. And it made me think back to a time when we were kids, in school, and one of Spider's lies had gotten him into real fucking trouble. And it reminded me of Spider's other nickname. His real nickname that was given to him by other people.

This nickname was IRA Glass. In 1996, the IRA, the Irish Republican Army, they planted a massive bomb in Canary Wharf in London now I'm from the south of Ireland I'm from Limerick so the period known as the Troubles did not impact me in any way the Troubles was something that I observed on the television

and the IRA were stories that my dad told me about my grandad who was in the IRA in the 1920s. But the period known as the Troubles, this was something I witnessed on television when I was very, very young. But the Canary Wharf bombing in 1996, that's the first IRA bombing that I really remember. Before that I was a little child. bombing that I really remember. Before that I was a little child. What I remember about the Canary Wharf bombing on television were scenes of destroyed skyscrapers and lots and lots of glass and papers and not really understanding what this was about. Just that visual image of glass and papers flying around destroyed buildings nailed itself into my head.

And everyone was talking about it in the schoolyard and teachers were talking about it. People were very frightened and upset because the IRA had been on a ceasefire. And the Canary Wharf bombing of 1996, that was when the ceasefire ended. The reason too that the Canary Wharf bombing was the first IRA bomb that I really remember was because I was in primary school at the time and we'd started learning a little bit about geography. And when you're doing beginner's geography in school, the first thing they always teach you about is Oxbow lakes. There's a point in a river's

journey when a river is old that it starts to meander and form these loops until eventually the river cuts through one of these loops and creates an oxbow lake. It's a lake that used to be a river in the shape of a horseshoe and when a river cuts through its meander and creates an Oxbow Lake a new island is formed. Now I guarantee you every single one of ye, ye remember what an Oxbow Lake looks like from geography. Everyone remembers Oxbow Lakes. There's a visual complexity to looking at an image of an old meandering river and imagining the point where that river cuts across and creates an Oxbow Lake. There's something about how we use our imaginations to complete that image that it consolidates to our collective memory.

And around the time of the Canary Wharf bombing in London, that TV show EastEnders was on all the time. And if you think of the opening credits of EastEnders, and it's over a map of the River Thames, that little loop, that bit where you look at it and you go, that's going to turn into an Oxbow Lake, that area right there, that's canary wharf that's where the IRA bombed in 1996 now the actual name for the area of canary wharf in east london that teardrop shape on the map the name of it is the isle of dogs the island of dogs now no one really knows why it's called the isle of dogs in Ireland

we know what everything is called and why it's called that because we can trace the names of places via the Irish language back a few thousand years via oral culture England's different they have names of places and they can't agree why it's called that

so one theory as to why the Isle of Dogs is called the Isle of Dogs in East London is that they think maybe Henry the Eighth used to go hunting there and he used to bring packs of dogs and sailors would come up the Thames, the river, and they'd hear dogs barking and they'd call it the Isle of Dogs. How did the Isle of Dogs become Canary Wharf? Well, the fact that it was called the Isle, the Island, tells us something about its geography. By the 1600s, that area of East London was about to become an oxbow lake.

The River Thames was about to cut through that meander. It already had. Thames was about to cut through that meander. It already had. When the tide was high, there was this temporary lake called the Poplar Gut that used to flood the area. But the reason the Isle of Dogs never became a full island, and the Thames never developed into an oxbow lake, was because Canary Wharf was founded. Well, it wasn't called Canary Wharf then, it was called the West India Docks in the 1800s. A wharf is an area where ships can dock. The Isle of Dogs was turned into a dock for ships because of slavery. By 1800 Britain had colonised the Caribbean, the West Indies as they called it. Britain was making a lot of money from the slave trade.

And a Scottish slave owner by the name of Robert Milligan, who had gotten incredibly wealthy as a trader of enslaved African people, he wanted a docks, a dockland area, where all of the ships that were bringing rum and sugar and cotton back from the Caribbean, he wanted an area in London where all of these ships could be, where they could all dock. So the Isle of Dogs was prevented from becoming an oxbow lake and the West India Docks was built there in its place and this became the heart of trade in London. All of the wealth that Britain was extracting from the Caribbean via the exploitation

of enslaved African people that was now all flowing into this area on the Isle of Dogs called West India Docks. This was the heart of English colonial money. This was the letterbox through which slave money was being pushed through. But then by 1837 the slave trade was abolished. And the West India Company and all these massive shipping companies and wealthy, wealthy posh English people that were making money off the slave trade, now they couldn't make money anymore from the slave trade. And the British government brought in the Slave Compensation Act in 1837. That sounds

like a good thing doesn't it? Compensating slaves for being enslaved. When slavery was abolished in the United Kingdom all the really really wealthy slave owners and the companies who benefited from slavery they were paid the equivalent of billions to compensate them for no longer being able to own and trade African slaves. So much money was paid to these people in 1837 that the British taxpayer didn't finish paying off this debt until 2015. So if ever you hear anyone saying that reparations for slavery seems ridiculous, remind them that there were reparations for slavery. The wealthy slave owners in 1837 were paid off so much money that it took until 2015 to pay them off and the

fucking taxpayer paid for it. But even after the slave trade was abolished, the area of the West India docks in East London became a core financial centre. A lot of money was being made here. A lot of very, very wealthy elite English people were still making money in this area in London. By the mid-20th century, trade from ships had kind of stopped and in 1980 it was renamed Canary Wharf. It was an enterprise zone. There weren't ships coming and going anymore but now you had international headquarters for gigantic banks, insurance companies, warehouses were torn down and big tall glass skyscrapers were put in their place. Very very wealthy people in England, very powerful powerful people politicians, people related to politicians

royalty all of their money was being made right there in Canary Wharf in this area that should have been an Oxbow Lake and it was for that reason that the IRA targeted it in 1996 and put a big gigantic bomb there the IRA had been bombing England and London since the

1970s with a provisional IRA. Like the fucking IRB were bombing London in the 1880s but the provisional IRA were bombing London since the 1970s. But they'd kind of realised that like acts of terrorism against innocent civilians, it's going to lose you quite a lot of support. It doesn't matter what the cause is. Most caring, compassionate people don't want to see any act of violence committed against innocent civilians. And I want to make it clear that I'm not being sympathetic towards IRA actions, actions of the provisional IRA. Targeting any civilian population is an act of terrorism.

But what does piss me off is when the word terrorism is not applied to the British Army. When they committed clear acts of terrorism against the Irish population. Any targeting of innocent civilians for a political aim, that's terrorism. Whether it's a paramilitary organisation or whether it's the military of a state, there's a narrative and a power dynamic at play when the media or a government decides who is a terrorist and who isn't. It's a deliberate strategy to shut down critical thinking and that then enables the erasure of people's civil rights, the erasure of human rights and the erasure of accountability and justice. The slave trade was an act of terrorism against the people of West Africa and the terrorist Robert Milligan

who founded West India Docks, who was compensated handsomely when slavery was abolished. His fucking statue was there right up until 2020, celebrated as a hero, and it was only removed during the George Floyd protests. The Canary Wharf bomb in 1996 was an attempt at economic terrorism. The IRA had planned, let's put a gigantic bomb into the centre of English money, give a warning so that all the civilians are evacuated. A big bomb goes off, nobody's killed, and then the damage is financial and ideological. And this will hurt the British economy, and it will specifically hurt very, very wealthy people in England with power.

It will hurt their pockets directly. And ideologically, given the historical context of the slave trade and colonisation, ideologically, it's like kicking England directly into the bollocks. Economic and ideological terrorism. This might achieve the political aims of the Provisional IRA. That was their intention. Is that what fucking happened? No.

You can't go putting a bomb in the middle of a city. A warning was given, a 90 minute warning and the English police tried their absolute best to evacuate as many people as possible. Two civilians were murdered. Two lads working in a nose agent and hundreds of people were maimed and injured from shards of glass, shards of falling glass because the bomb was massive. It was a truck bomb and a bizarre coincidence that I noticed with it is that the IRA bomb was made from nitrogen and sugar.

Because nitrogen and sugar together, that's a bomb. Nitrogen is a fertiliser. But in the 1800s, during the slave trade, it was sugar and nitrogen that were being imported into Canary Wharf. Sugar from the slave plantations of the Caribbean and nitrogen in the form of barred guano. Loads of barred shit was imported into the West India docks, because this was the main source of nitrogen for fertiliser in the 1800s.

Without the IRA we're taking that into consideration, but it's a bizarre little historical coincidence. But that's the first IRA bombing that I really remember and that made me feel really shocked and horrified and frightened when I saw it on television. In particular all the glass. I just remember all that glass and I remember hundreds and thousands of bits of paper just flittering all around the air. And at the time, all the financial companies were freaking out because those bits of paper, that was their confidential data. And it made London feel like an unsafe place for a major international bank or insurance company to have its headquarters

because it might get blown up by the rad any time. But what does all this have to do with. With Spider. Spider the liar. Well this canary wharf bombing was being spoken about quite a bit in school. We were children. Teachers would try and explain it to us. We were anxious.

We didn't know what was going on. But then Spider. With his tall tails. Started saying to teachers, he started to say that his family were in the IRA. Because he was just a kid, he was about fucking 10. He started to say that his family were in the IRA. And he started to say that he had an uncle in London who owned a glass company. And he'd been tipped off in advance and that his uncle knew the bombing was going to happen and that he had prepared a lot of glass in advance to repair all the broken windows because he knew it was going to happen and some of the teachers took

this very fucking seriously and then Spider's parents were called in and he wasn't in school for a while. And I think his parents had to answer questions to the police to see, does he have a fucking uncle over in London who owns a glass company, who knows the IRA? And of course it all turned out to be bullshit. It was lies that Spider was making up. He'd no uncle in London. He'd no family in the IRA. He was just telling his tall tales.

But it landed him in a lot of fucking trouble. And then the kids teased him. And his nickname became IRA Glass. People called him IRA Glass. For a few years afterwards. And you can call yourself Spider all you want. You can try and come up with your own nickname. But it's the nickname that people give you in the schoolyard that's the one that sticks.

Now you might be wondering why I'm telling this story this week. Well the reason is, I'd forgotten about that nickname. IRA Glass. It had been relegated to the recesses of my memory. Until about 2014, when I started listening to a podcast. It was the first podcast I really properly started listening to regularly. I started listening to a podcast called This American Life. This American Life, it's the most important podcast in the history of podcasts, I would say. it laid the foundations for what a podcast could be. And when I first started listening to This American Life, I was really jarred by the fact

that the presenter, the presenter was called Ira Glass. His name was spelt I-R-A Glass. Now, I didn't even know anyone could be called IRA. There are no IRAs in Ireland. You're not calling your child Irish Republican Army and I could never get that association out of my mind. Every time I'd listen to This American Life and the host would say this is IRA Glass or I'd read his name, I just kept thinking back to that time in school where a young fella got the nickname Ira Glass because he told a lot of lies about the Canary Wharf bombing and This American Life the podcast and the host Ira Glass was a huge influence on me when I first started to think about making a podcast.

And specifically what Ira Glass' work showed me. Was literally what I've done with this episode here. Is a technique of oral storytelling. A very slow and strange type of revealing. Like I know when I opened this podcast. And just start speaking about a fella from school who was a liar. I know you're going to stick around to the end. I know that I'm revealing just enough that you have to think.

I don't know where the fuck this is going but I have to find out. And that there is storytelling. Set up, up conflict resolution. And it's exactly that that had me listening to This American Life every single week. I don't know what this is going to be about. It's starting off quite strange, but I have faith that this will be resolved in some type of meaningful way by the end. And when I would listen to Ira Glass doing this on that podcast, I used to think to myself, fuck it, maybe I could try that.

Maybe I could have a go at that. That seems like loads of fun. Now I've spoken before about I'm very cautious around external praise and taking external praise on board. But I found out this week that Ira Glass, the presenter of This American Life,

a person who could credibly be said to have invented the podcast, the medium of the podcast, the art of the podcast. Ira Glass was at a fucking podcast festival over in America and he was up on stage giving a talk and someone asked him, Ira what are you listening to? What podcasts are you listening to? And he pulled out his fucking phone and he was listening to my

podcast and fuck me was I happy when I heard that. That's my bit of external praise that I allowed myself to have. That's the podcast equivalent of... It's like Jimi Hendrix saying he likes your guitar tone. For me to have had Ira Glass as an actual inspiration, someone who directly influenced my decision to start podcasting, for him to even be aware of my podcast is is a genuinely rewarding feeling that's a feeling i can i can take that one to bed without needing to worry about it um impacting my self-esteem in any way or my my consistent consistent mindful effort that I put into having an internal locus of evaluation I just have a nice

wholesome feeling of I've done good work and the particular part of myself that it's that it's tickling is I often get asked what advice would I give anybody who wants to create something who wants to become an artist of any description what advice would I give and one piece of advice I often give is have an awareness around any feelings of begrudgery that you might have

if you want to be a creator of any description you can't allow yourself to begrudge another artist's success. If there's a fucking painter, a musician, a podcaster, a writer and their work blows you away, it's understandable to feel a bit of jealousy. To feel jealousy and to feel envy because you want to do what that artist is doing. So these feelings might pop up where you find yourself minimizing their work or being reductive. Ah, they're not that good.

Anyone could do that. They get too much credit. They're only successful because of this, because of that. When you find yourself doing that, which is completely natural, catch yourself in the moment and instead feel happy for that person's success. So if someone's making work that's fucking brilliant and you'd love to be doing that but you're scared, feel happy for their success. Recognize your feelings of jealousy or envy or begrudgery. Recognize these feelings as your own fear of failing.

And when you take ownership of that, and when you genuinely celebrate another artist's success, it doesn't even have to be public, just within yourself, when you celebrate another artist's success, now you can calmly respond to opportunity. And opportunity doesn't have to be an offer that comes your way, can be. But a blank page is opportunity. And opportunity doesn't have to be an offer. That comes your way. Can be. But a blank page is opportunity.

Are you going to do nothing. Because you're scared to try. And sublimate that. Energy. Into begrudgery. Or are you going to go to that blank page. Be playful. And risk failure.

And as I always say. There's no such thing as failure when you try. there's no such thing as failure when you try. There's no such thing as failure when you try. The only failure is doing nothing because you were scared to try. Because even if you begin and make a piece of shit, you've just learned a lesson that fuels a future success. And when I heard This American Life years ago, and I was blown away by how brilliant it was, and I was blown away by what a wonderful, talented storyteller Ira Glass was, I recognised that I would love to do something like that, but I don't really know how. Fair play to him.

Maybe I can try. Maybe I can give it a go. And because I made that choice, that choice to risk failing, I was able to calmly just start making podcasts in my own tone, in my own voice, guided by the example of someone else's efforts. And now it's come full circle with me having made a podcast that's managed to get to the attention of that person and that cycle that just feels lovely it feels really really nice and something else which is quite special is another person who was a fucking huge influence for me was a radio host an American

radio host called Joe Frank he used to do these really surreal monologues. He was influenced by Samuel Beckett. But Joe Frank is the person who trained Ira Glass into radio. So that's the reason I told that elaborate story about lying this week. And Ira Glass, if you're listening, thank you so much for saying that you enjoy my podcast. Because it's brought me quite a lot of new listeners from America. So let's have a little ocarina pause now. I'm in my office, as you can tell by the wonderful crisp sound. I don't feel like hitting myself into the head with a book this week. And as you know, I never have an ocarina in this office.

I've lost a lot of my ocarinas, and the ocarina upsets a lot of dogs. People listen to this podcast with their dogs, and whenever I fucking play that ocarina, the dogs get really, really upset. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to shake a little box of chewing gums, which, that's a very dog-friendly noise, because it sounds like treats. So I'm going to shake some chewing gums. Which I, that's a very dog friendly noise because it sounds like treats.

So I'm going to shake some chewing gums here and for any dogs that are listening, you're going to get some ASMR treat noises. Here we go. You're going to hear an advert for some bullshit. I don't know what it's for. some very dark on April 5th you must be very careful Margaret it's a girl witness the birth bad things will start to happen

evil things of evil it's all for you no no don't You must be very careful, Margaret. It's the girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying.

Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Hey! Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that?

The first omen. Only in theaters April 5th. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Dog friendly ASMR there. Apologies if your dog is now asking for a treat give him a fucking treat

give him a treat I also made that noise that noise that you make for dogs which I'm always fascinated by that noise because in European dialogues we tend not to have

a lot of clicks in how we speak we don't have a lot of clicks in how we speak. We don't have a lot of clicks in how we speak, but in other parts of the world, clicking is a huge component of spoken language, whereas we only have it to speak to dogs, to communicate with dogs. I'd love to know why that is. Support for this podcast comes from you, the listener, via the the patreon page patreon.com forward slash the blind boy podcast if you like this podcast if it brings you joy solace distraction entertainment whatever the fuck has you listening to this podcast please consider supporting the work that i put into this podcast because this is my full-time job it's how i rent out my office it's how I pay my bills it's how I earn a living

the Patreon support is how I have the fucking space to fail the space to fail each week and to genuinely deliver a story about what I'm passionate about so if you'd like to support that come over to patreon.com forward slash the blind buy podcast

all I'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month that's it if you can't afford that don't worry about it you can listen for free you can listen for free because the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free everybody gets a podcast i get to earn a living it's a wonderful model based on kindness and soundness and it means i'm not beholden to any advertiser. If an advertiser wants to come onto this podcast, they do so in a non-interventionist way. If they try to influence the content

or what I speak about in any way, they can piss off. Follow me on Instagram, Blind By Boat Club. Also like and subscribe to the podcast and tell a friend about it okay let's let's promote a couple of gigs my next live podcast

is my big UK tour in April this tour is almost sold out now starting on the 21st of April I'm in Newcastle I'm in Glasgow that's sold out I'm in Nottingham, there's only like 10 tickets left for that, I'm in Cardiff, I'm in Brighton, I'm in Cambridge, I'm in Bristol,

that's sold out, and my biggest ever gig, which I'm really looking forward to and I want you to come along to the Hammersmith Apollo on the 1st of May which is almost fucking sold out I cannot believe that but please come along to the Hammersmith Apollo in London on the 1st of May for my live podcast for the biggest gig

I've ever fucking done and then in July July I'm in the set theatre in Kilkenny I'm doing two nights there in wonderful, lovely Kilkenny. And then August, up in Donegal, Letterkenny, at the summer sessions. I have a nice quiet summer for myself. So regarding the mechanics of podcasts and storytelling, I'm going to say this episode.

The theme of this week's episode, suppose was. Was liars and lying. And you might be wondering. How could you do a full podcast about a real fella called Spider. Well. To tell you the truth. I've changed a lot of details there. Because I can't do that. I can't just take one lad I know called Spider.

And then do an entire podcast about him. What if he hears it? So I changed some details to facilitate storytelling. Now every single lie I told you, that's true. But it's an amalgamation of several wonderful liars I've met throughout my life. Yeah, there was a fella in school called IRA Glass, who lied about his family's involvement in the Canary Wharf bombing. And there was a fella called Spider, because he bought four pairs of jeans. And all the lies that I listed out are, they're real lies that I've been told over the years by...

I have a lot of time for liars. I don't mean harmful liars, people who manipulate and deceive. I've no time for that. But the fucking fantasists. I have an awful amount of time for lunatics who just make shit up for no reason. Harmless lies. Big tall tales. And I have a lot of time and compassion for these people because. I often find there's a deep sadness behind it all. The person who feels the need to.

Come up with elaborate stories about themselves or. Make up adventures they had or. Retreat into fantasy. I always feel that these people. Are doing this because. They don't believe that they themselves are good enough and then they get reputations for being bullshitters and we place a huge amount of shame on that and if you're someone who's listening to this and you have a tendency to to make shit up

for no reason you're talking to someone you just make a bunch of shit up and then afterwards you go why the fuck did i say that that's not true at all instead of beating yourself up put that imagination to good use get your lie and turn it into a story instead of feeling shame because you got nervous and made up some shit about yourself recognize that as having an imagination and harness that energy into creativity. The meaning that you'll achieve through any act of creativity might lead to the type of self-acceptance where you feel comfortable just being yourself and learning to like and know who you really are. And that might sound silly, but creativity is just another word for playfulness.

That's all it is. When I say do something creative, it doesn't mean you have to do something good or do something bad. Create for the fucking sake of creating. Creativity is the adult word for playing. And we all played as kids. We all played as kids. We all played with Lego, played with crayons.

There's no such thing as good or bad play. It's just playing for the sake of playing. Write a story, paint a picture. Don't even have to show anybody. Just do it for the sake of doing it. And if you're the other type of liar, the type of liar who manipulates people or you lie to get out of accountability or whatever maybe you beat yourself up over that maybe you don't like that about yourself what I would say there is to take a look at your attitude towards conflict Sometimes people who conduct themselves in ways that are deceptive or I suppose you could

say manipulative and people who don't tell the truth to get what they want. We're quick to label these people as narcissistic but sometimes they're absolutely terrified of conflict. They mightn't have been allowed to experience conflict as children or to express their needs. They might have grown up around aggressive parents and they noticed at a young age that any expression of conflict whatsoever can result in violence or anger. So these people have learned to avoid conflict by meeting their needs through telling fibs or lying to people

or not admitting that they're wrong. Even though someone is asking for accountability, even if there's evidence there. Are you terrified of conflict? Are you afraid that any conflict will lead to a fight? Look up some tools around assertiveness. Because assertiveness is, that's the adult way to deal with conflict.

Assertiveness in a nutshell is where conflict is about the actual issue at hand rather than feeling emotionally attached to being right or being wrong. That's all we have time for this week. I'm going to be back next week with a hot take. The evenings are getting longer. The sunlight is growing in its intensity. Rub a dog, wink at a cat, have a threesome with Jules Holland. I'll catch you next week God bless Western Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Продолжение следует...