The Blindboy Podcast - Provisional IRA Edwardian Minotaur Sex Porn

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

A trip to an IRA ambush site leads to musings about am erotic minotaur book and fascism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is an eight-episode Hulu original limited series that blends gripping pacing with emotional complexity, offering a dramatized look as it revisits the wrongful conviction of Amanda Knox for the tragic murder of Meredith Kircher and the relentless media storm that followed. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is now streaming only on Disney Plus. Crinkle the Piss, Chris. You Innocent Vincent's, welcome to the Blind Boy podcast. If this is your first episode,

please consider listening to an earlier episode to familiarise yourself with the lore of this podcast. It's just approaching sunset here in my office as I await the Starlings of Limerick City to do their murmuration. It's a lovely clear evening out there. I hope to see them tonight. And if we don't see them, that means they're gone.

That means they're gone for their winter roost. And the interesting thing about the winter roost for starlings is they'll all congregate in a flock that could be hundreds of thousands, hundreds of thousands of starlings will go to a dense forest or reed beds. And those, the limerick starlings are also going to be joined by international starlings. There'll be starlings coming from northern Europe trying to escape, really, really cold winters there and they'll be joining the

flocks of starlings here and they're going to go out the country into these gigantic roosts of hundreds of thousands of them. So we'll know tonight. It's sunset right now and if I don't see those starlings tonight then they're gone. They're gone and then the

Bardshed District is no longer covered in shit until next summer. I'm mindfully embracing the onset of autumn and winter. All the leaves are khaki, browny green geriatric leaves. They haven't started to fall off the trees en masse just yet. But I'm looking forward to those winter mornings, the ones with the chill and the clear skies.

I'm noticing my first little cold or flu of the season as well. I've got a tickle in my throat that I need to watch. Unfortunately it's popped up on podcast recording day so I can't give my voice a little rest. But do excuse me if this week's podcast is slightly shorter than usual. I had a most magnificent weekend. I was in West Cork. I was down in Garnish Island.

Told you about a month ago that I... I organised a very rapid emergency gig on Garnish Island. Ah, it was fucking class. There was only about 150 people. A very small gig. and everyone had to access the island by boat. It felt a lot like that Bruce Lee film, enter the dragon,

except I was kicking people into the mind with ideas. And it was in cork. There was torrential rain. But it was so beautiful. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was only about a 15-minute journey by boat. across the mouth of the Atlantic onto this tiny weird little

British island that area of West Cork is so it's so strange it's Edwardian Dubai that is the only way I can describe it it's a little area of Ireland where

a hundred and fifty years ago 200 years ago this was the tourist destination for incredibly wealthy English colonists and they constructed a strange little paradise for themselves not just on the island on this tiny little garnish island not just there but in the surrounding village of Glen Gareth there's this beautiful hotel called the Eccles Hotel this building this was constructed in 17

This is a hotel that's been there since 1745. Everything is so beautiful and strange and drenched in blood and misery. The wealthy English colonists, like the people who built, not built, but the people who started the gardens in Garnish Island. They were East India Company people. All of the money, stinking, dirty, mankey, emperty. money. Whether it be the fucking North Atlantic slave trade, India, China, the whole shebang, they took little trinkets of the empire and brought it back to this tiny little area in West Cork and created a weird Disneyland, a weird little Disneyland of

colonization where in this small area of West Cork you could visit each part of the empire. Like just across the way from the Eccles Hotel is the Bambor. gardens where there's full of Chinese bamboo and then you make it across onto Garnish Island itself which its natural state its natural state is just rock and moss that's it and seas are supposed to be living there but because this island it's it's in a natural harbour in Cork so it's in the ocean but there's this huge natural harbor and it's protected by mountains so it gets hit with the guise stream, this warm band of water that comes all the way up from Mexico, and then it's sheltered from frost and wind by the mountains. So the English in the late 1700s or early 1800s basically noticed, this strange little island is quite hot. This has got a weird climate right here. So they just started to grow plants from all around the empire, plants from India, plants from New Zealand, plants from South America, from the Caribbean, and they all flourished on this

island where they should, they're supposed to die. They're supposed to die from frost. They couldn't grow them in England, they couldn't grow them anywhere else, only on this little island. And what it reminded me of is, if you look at drawings of like lions, drawings of lions from, we'll say, the 14th century or the 15th century, all the drawings, of lions are fucking shit. The lions look like weird dogs and when you look at early medieval paintings that depict animals like lions, elephants, zebras, they all look nothing like the actual animal because no one who was drawing these animals had actually seen one. Instead what they were doing is they were consulting these books called bestiaries which were like gigantic

encyclopedias that contained drawings of animals. So if you were a Dutch painter or a fucking English painter and you needed to paint lions, you couldn't find a lion. Couldn't see a lion. What you had to do is you had to consult the beast year

or you had to consult a book. The seagulls are going to ape shit here, lads. Apodges if you can hear them. You had to go to a book that had drawings of lions in it. But the person who even drew that lion may never have seen a lion. They could have been speaking to someone who said that they saw a lying and that person could have been

lying. So what you got was a simulacrum, a hyper real simulacrum, a copy of a copy of a copy to the point that it has lost all reference to the original. You know, I mentioned there Edwardian. The area around West Cork there is, it's an Edwardian style. Like the early, maybe 1890 onwards. And the posh Brits that would have been walking around there, they'd have been wearing top hats and tails, the Edwardian style. But in the 1950s there was Teddy boys. Teddy boys had greased hair and brothel creeper shoes and long tails and sometimes leather jackets.

But they weren't posh, they were working class. But Teddy boys were called Teddy Boys because Teddy means Edward and Teddy boys of the 1950s were like an inverted class performance of posh, posh, Edwardian Danny. of the 1910s. But a teddy boy of the 1950s had never seen an Edwardian Dandy. They'd only had them described to them by older people. So teddy boys are a simulacrum.

My dad used to tell me that there was a teddy boy contingent in Limerick City in the late 50s and early 60s. Now this could be utter bullshit, but he told me how he met my mother is that he was gambling with teddy boys. He was playing cards with teddy boys. And he lost a hand and couldn't pay. for it so he ran away and then the teddy boys of limerick used to have razor blades in their collars according to my dad and they chased him down limerick city wielding razor blades with

duck ars hair he said grease duck ars hair and tails chasing him with razor blades and he ran into a bingo hall and saw my man started dancing with her probably a lot of bullshit but it's a great story My weekend spent living amongst the colonial ghosts in West Cork also reminded me of brown sauce. Brown sauce is also a colonial simulacrum. Brown sauce, which was invented in the 1830s, was invented in a shopkeeper in Leeds, Leeds over in England because one of his customers had been to India once and tasted chutney long, long ago. And he used to go into this shopkeeper and say, oh my God, that has. this shit in fucking India called chutney

and I can't stop thinking about it I can't stop thinking about it I'm going to gradually describe it to you and you're going to try and make it and that's where brown sauce came from one daft English cunt trying to remember what chutney tasted like describing it to a Yorkshire man

Yorkshire relish Yorkshire relish brown sauce is just thickened Yorkshire relish and Garnish Island in West Cork is a simulacrum there's this gorgeous area called the Italian Garden

It's like, why the fuck is this called Italian? There's a vaguely Chinese-looking pagoda thing there. It's dotted with little bonsai trees that are Japanese, ferns from the Caribbean, and then statues and arches that are vaguely ancient Greek. And it was built by somebody who was fairly high up in the East India Company. And the whole place is like an opium haze did Warding and Victorian. argument, aesthetic argument about what different parts

of the Empire look like based on memory or something they heard from someone else and it's just there in the middle of West Cork utterly stunning, absolutely oh there's the Starlings all right they haven't

not as many of them but they haven't left so the Starlings are still doing their thing so I did my gig on the fucking central lawn of the Italian garden with the weird English fucking pagoda behind me absolutely pissing rain

in the most beautiful setting you can imagine and this profound this quietness and stillness on the island because it's so sheltered and it just rains

and the rain just drops it doesn't there's no breeze even the rain just drops and then you go back out onto the fucking boat and there's this big cold grey storm

because you've left the microclimate and the person I interviewed my guest because I did a live podcast under a tent so everyone was nice and dry well no people were on a boat

they were soaked but I think everybody enjoyed it my guest was the head gardener a fellow by the name of Glyn Sherrott who has this really strange job of being a gardener on this island

where nothing is natural everything has been put there by humans and he has to try and make sure really that nothing escapes and I saw seals and I saw Ireland's only white-tailed eagle, big massive bousy up in the sky and she has two chicks and this

a fucking a nest the size of a Ford Focus. The whole place is managed now by the office of public works and as I mentioned a month ago the reason I did this gig I want to do it as a an auto topographical performance piece because my dad told me a story that there was once a big colonial house on this island and that my great grand uncle when he was in the anti-treaty IRA that he was involved in burning down that colonial house and Garnish Island and also the island was very special to my dad. My dad would promise me when I was a little kid I'm going to take you to Garnish Island someday I'm going to take you there and he'd describe because he was there.

He was there when he was in his early 20s and I just think he had a great time there and my ma told me there's a photograph of him sitting on the steps in the Italian garden. So for me, Garnish Island has always been a dream place. It's been a simulacrum for me. It's been a promise.

It's been a promise that my dad couldn't keep to me because he died. So I returned there autobiographically. as a journey, as an adult without my dad, with a bag on my head, with the awareness that my grand-uncle might have burnt down the big house on the fucking island.

And then when I got there and I asked some questions to people working there, who people who knew the history of the place because it was their fucking job. They said to me, the IRA didn't burn down any big house on this island. That didn't happen. And I'm like, are you fucking sure?

My dad told me my grand-uncle burnt down the fucking big house on this island on Garnish Island burnt them out of it and then someone else said well there's another Garnish Island there's a second where I'm like what there's a second Garnish Island where I sit down in Kerry

off the bay of Ken Mayer there's a second Garnish Island there and the IRA did burn down a big house there but my grand uncle was in the Cork IRA he wasn't in the IRA in Kerry and it would have been strengthened for him to have been down in Kerry burning out a house in Kerry

because that wasn't his territory in the RA so it slowly dawned on me that my auto topographical journey but there was no truth in it. There was no truth I don't think my grand-uncle burnt down the house in Garnish Island in Cork

because it never fucking happened and he definitely wasn't in Kerry so some tall tales have been told and I was a bit disappointed because I was like what's the purpose of this journey now was the purpose of it to find out that it wasn't based in truth. I'd gone to the trouble of wearing my IRA trousers.

I wore camouflage trousers and boots for my auto-topographical performance piece. I know how stupid this is. And it was based on a lie so I was disappointed, so I was like fucking anyway, I'm in West Cork. Well, if that story about my grand-uncle burning down the big house on Garnish Island is bullshit, Well, at least I'm going to go to something that I know it to be true.

Something that I know is definitely true and I won't have wasted these IRA pants. So on the way back to Limerick I called into the memorial site for the Kill Michael Ambush, which my grand-uncle and granddad definitely took part in. You see, Cork is called the Rebel County and West Cork in particular. In the 1920s, during the period you'd call the Irish War of the, independence. West Cork was a serious area of fighting and violence. So you can go back to the 1500s in Ireland. There was a period known as the Desmond Rebellions, large-scale canonisation by Elizabeth I. And she confiscated huge amounts of land in Munster and

most of Cork. Then began what was called the Monster Plantations. Elizabeth the First would have given all this new land in Cork that was confiscated from Irish people. She would have given it to very wealthy gentry, to very wealthy English people. These wealthy undertakers, as they were called, they then populated the land with colonizers, with colonizers from England, so a very successful plantation. And then as the years passed, the wealth just grew and grow and grow. You had all this land being controlled by colonizers and there was, and the land was cleared and you had cattle, beef and butter and dairy.

This is the 1700s, early 1800s. In particular, butter, you had the Cork Butter Exchange. Cork became, it became like the Wall Street of butter. The global price of butter was determined in Cork. And you also had salted meats being exported. So Cork is on the, effectively the westernmost part of the British Empire because it's fucking colonised. And while Britain is engaging in the slave trade and the colonization of the West Indies, the Caribbean, Britain is feeding its colonizers in the Caribbean from the colony of Cork because it's the westernmost part of the British Empire now, via the Atlantic.

So Cork becomes incredibly wealthy. you have all these wealthy Protestant settlers in their big houses and then you have massive disparity of very wealthy Protestant colonizers, dirt poor, peasant class of Irish Catholics, gentry, cousins of royals, West Cork becomes a holiday destination for the wealthiest people.

So when you have that income disparity there now, you need a fuck ton of secure, to protect all that wealth and all those wealthy English people. So by the time the Irish War of Independence comes about, 1919, very aggressive, militarised presence, protecting wealth, protecting British wealth and colonizers in Cork. But West Cork is absolutely massive and it's rocky and hilly with winding roads.

It's like the mountains of Afghanistan, which meant that, The British forces, like the Black and Tans, the auxiliaries, the RIC, the terrain really worked against them because they had all these winding roads and then the IRA could shoot at them from the hills and then disappear. And there was one IRA commander, General Tom Barry, and Tom Barry was, he was a carclad who wasn't even that interested in the IRA. He was so uninterested in fighting the British. that Tom Barry actually went and joined the British Army. He was in the British Army during World War I because he wanted to see the world.

And he ended up in Mesopotamia, which would have been in the Ottoman Empire, fighting with the Brits as part of the British Army, in Mesopotamia, which is Iraq now. And he was fighting there. And while he was in the British Army, his mother back home in West Cork used to send him parcels

and when she'd send him parcels she would wrap it in local newspapers from back home and Tom Barry would open his parcels from his ma and he'd read about the 1916 rising or he'd read about the violent murderous conduct of the British soldiers would have and the RAC would have against

civilians against Irish civilians and then Tom Barry said fuck this what am I doing in the British Army so he came back home to West Cork but then used his his time survey in the British Army as a professional soldier to then develop

a completely new form of guerrilla warfare in the subterfuge of the West Cork fucking hills and mountains IRA units he called flying columns that would continually live on the run

hide in the hills strike at British soldiers black and tans auxiliaries and then disappear my grandda was a member of the Flying Columns and so was my grand-uncle and they were just they weren't even mad rah heads they were just 19 20 years of age who found themselves in a situation where they were being ethnically cleansed by terroristic British forces there's no other way to describe

it i've done podcasts about it before but the auxiliaries in the black and tans in west cork in the 20s their job was to inflict terror terror on civilians, the civilian population. The culture of human shields. If the IRA targeted legitimate British military targets, then the Black and Tanzan auxiliaries would then target civilians. To give the message to the civilians that don't be supporting these IRA fellas, because if you support them were going to kill ye. So on 21st of November, 1920, British military intelligence officers were shot up in Dublin and then the response to that was British military forces like fucking soldiers went into Croke Park during the the Gaelic football final they went into

a football stadium full of civilians only civilians and then they opened fire on the crowd they opened fire on men women children just for the crack as a ruptain. and killed 14 civilians as an act of terrorism, as an act of intimidation. This is what Winston Churchill wanted. So then eight days later, down in West Cork, at Kill Michael, Tom Barry's flying column, the IRA, ambushed a full convoy of Oggies, auxiliaries. Now, auxiliaries were mercenaries. They were World War I veterans, officers. highly trained elite soldiers, British soldiers, who were also very posh and wealthy because

they were officers. So the IRA ambushed them as retaliation for Bloody Sunday, the first Bloody Sunday up in Dublin. IRA ambushed them and killed 17 auxiliaries and this became known as the Kill Michael ambush. A very instrumental ambush in Irish history because it brought about the independence of the 26 counties down south not the entirety of Ireland the six counties up north is still part of Britain

it's still occupied so anyway the other day I'm at Kill Michael I'm there and I'm there because my dad used to take me there when I was a child see that's the thing like my granddad took part in this

and so did my grand uncle and I think my other grand uncle too he was a spotter or something and it's this incredible huge monument and it has, I think it's a Patrick Pierce quote. It says, it says they shall be spoken of among their people. The generations that remembered them and called them blessed, which that took my breath a little bit because I was like, fuck, that's about my granddad. And then I

walked all around the Kill Michael Ambush site, which is just these bare, fucking hills and rocks and Heather and this winding road and it's like the terrain the terrain I created this perfect ambush site where these elite British soldiers were killed and what's fucking mad

is it's like a national monument and it says IRA everywhere and I could be invited on the national radio and they'd be like blind boy tell us about your time down on West Gork at the kill of Michael ambush site and I could talk about it and

speak about them like they're heroes national heroes but then because they're the good IRA but then you've got something like the Warren Point Ambush that happened in 1979

up north pretty much the exact same thing as the Kilmichael ambush where the IRA the provisional IRA took out a lot of SAS exact same thing but if you went

you couldn't go on the Irish radio and say that you'd be called a terrorist Like even a few years ago I was on Irish radio Now they didn't air this They just went nowhere We're not airing that But I was called on to speak about

The Wolfton saying Up the Ra at Electric Picnic And they interviewed me We've got blind boy in the line Blind boy is it Not just disgraceful Disgrateful stuff Saying Up the Ra

And I kept saying Up the Ra on the radio And then I said Don't worry it's about the good IRA I'm saying up the ra the good IRA and the radio DJ couldn't form

an argument they were like it's not the same thing it's not the same thing don't be ridiculous it's not the same thing and I said it is the same thing it is because

the Irish War of Independence started in 1919 and it started when IRA member Dan Breen during the solo head ambush walked up the two policemen and shot them into the head

and then it kept saying up the ra up the ra I mean the good IRA, I'm saying up the raft for the good IRA and then I started listing out Irish presidents who were in the IRA and killed people and then the interview got cut short and they didn't air it but anyway these are all the thoughts I was having when I was down in West Cork at the Kill Michael Ambush site

and I was walking around the different positions and then I came across the little stone it's like an anti-colonial piece of art it's something it's an amazing thing to see it's this stone in the ground it looks like a headstone and it says command post West Cork

Brigade Flying Collium IRA and on this road to died 17 terrorist officers of the British forces which is just to see that written down is crazy to see the British army referred

to as terrorists because you see we live in a hyperreal simulacrum where narratives are defined not by the truth, but by media and by solemnity and by ritual. And you can't possibly call the British Army terrorists

because they're the British Army. They're a professional force. They have rituals, they have medals, they have... That's not terrorism, that's an army. But no, they were terrorists in Ireland. They conducted themselves as terrorists. They...

Performed acts of terror on civilians for the purpose of terrorism. and that stone, that monument, seeing it written down on stone, is very jarring, very confrontational. It engages the critical part of your brain immediately. So I'm walking all around Kilmichael Ambush site. And it's a fucking family history thing for me

because my dad used to take me there when I was a kid when I was a little child. I was there with my dad and I do remember sitting down eating chicken sandwiches, eating. eating chicken sandwiches at the IRA ambush site at about six or seven years of age maybe a bit older I don't remember and my dad trying to explain to me

the evils of empire and I start to go maybe this is what my autotropographical journey is about it wasn't Garnish Island maybe I had to return to the site of the Kill Michael Ambush and it's just about missing my dad

and just being there now as a middle-aged man and I haven't seen my dad since my early 20s and I've forgotten I don't really even know what it's like to speak to my dad as an adult I don't really know what that's like and that's really sad

so being at the Kilmichael Ambush site and trying to think oh I wish my dad was here I wonder what we'd talk about even that there is a simulacrum of sorts because I can't even trust my dad has gone so long that I can't really trust memories of him

and all of my memories of conversations with my dad are filtered through being a child or being a teenager they're filtered through that lens and the emotions of that time so the memories that I have

in my dad they're not too far off the unreliable colonial hodgepatch of pagodas and bonsai trees and Greek temples on Garnish Island

are the distant description of chutney that might still exist in brown sauce my memory of my dad has been described to me by a fucking child

years ago. It's a similechrum and then I start going, fuck it. Yeah, that's deep. That is. I feel a sense of completeness there. I feel a sense of completeness to my auto-topographical journey. That feels like I've learned something there via this site-specific performance that I've just done there in West Cork. And then as I'm on the Kilmichael Ambush site, my phone rings and the reception is absolutely shit. Terrible reception, which I thought was fucking class because I'm like, wow, this was the 1920s.

And even if the auxiliaries had had mobile phones, they still wouldn't have worked. That's how good an ambush spot this is. So my phone's ringing and I'm answering it. I can't hear the person on the other end because the reception is so poor, but just as I walk a little bit up the road from the Kilmichael Ambush

site, now I've got reception. So I managed to answer the phone and it's someone who was working at the gig the night before and they said to me, did you leave your e-book reader? Did you leave an e-book reader behind you on the island? And like a e-book reader, like a Kindle, I don't have a Kindle, but like a Kindle. Did you leave your e-book reader behind on the island?

And then I went, fuck, yeah, that's mine. I left my e-book reader behind on the fucking island. And then they say, no problem, not a bother, we'll send it to you in the post. All right, that's grand. So I'm relieved. Because I'm like, shit, yeah, all my books were on that. And I take my e-book reader with me. to gigs so that I can read my short stories and all of the books that I read are on this

ebook reader so I'm like thank fuck great they're gonna send that in the post and then I went oh fuck what if they look at my ebook reader and see the last book that I was reading see I don't have a passcode on it and the other thing as well is I don't know if you came across someone's Kindle or e-book reader. It's not that big an invasion of privacy to look at someone's books on their e-reader. It's not like reading a person's emails or text messages, which is a clear invasion of privacy.

But just taking a look at someone's e-reader and going, hmm, I wonder what books they're reading. It's not a huge invasion of someone's privacy. And especially if the person is well-known, they'd be like, yeah, I'm going to look into Blind Boy's e-reader and see what books Blind Boy reads because, you know, he's a fucking writer. Let's see what books he's reading. And normally I wouldn't give a fuck.

Like I even said before, about three years ago, I was on a plane. I was on a plane to Portugal. And someone sitting behind me on the plane. Like obviously I don't wear my plastic bag on a plane. Someone's sitting behind me on the fucking plane. Managed to correctly identify me as Blindboy based purely on the book. that I was reading in my Kindle and they tapped me on the shoulder on the plane

instead of you blind boy and fair fucking play to that person for correctly getting me who I was purely on the books on my Kindle but anyway I'm at the fucking Kill Michael Ambush site going oh shit I've left my Kindle on the island I hope they don't open it and see the last books

that I've been reading because the name of the last book that I've been reading is Morning Glory Milking Farm which is if you're listening to this if they're children listening and now is the time to children can't listen to this bit

also if my mother is listening my mother listens every week you don't want to hear any of this you don't want to hear any of this at all if you're listening to this in public if you're listening to this in public and you don't want to be embarrassed you don't want to play this bit in public

right so the last fucking book on my e-reader is morning glory milking farm which is erotic it's no it's pornographic it's erotic fiction

about a woman who works in a a minotaur milking farm it's about a millennial woman who is in huge student debt

so she has to get a job at a clinic where minotores which are like like half bull, half man. She gets a job at a clinic where she masturbates minotores because their sperm is being collected

to make Viagra for humans and then she falls in love with the Minotaur. Now first off, I'm not in. I'm not reading this because I'm into it. I'm reading it out of curiosity. Listen, If I was into books about Minotaur's being wanked off, I'd tell you, I'd say it.

I'd say, this is what I love. I love books that contain very little plot and are focused around incredibly long, detailed, sexually explicit descriptions of half men, half bulls being masturbated. If that, if that's what I was into, I'd let you know that. I'm not recommending anyone reads Morning Glory milking farm It's not a good book

It's not a good book It's like 50 Shades of Grey It's 50 Shades of Grey Except With fucking half Bull Men And when I compare it to 50 Shades of Grey there It's

So 50 Shades of Grey Which again is I don't know Is pornography the right word I mean it is porn it is porn, it's not just erotic. Fifty Shades of Grey, if you read it, is very, very sexually explicit writing.

It's for the purposes of people read it for sexual arousal. And also, 50 Shades of Grey, it would not have existed. It wouldn't have been as big as it was if it weren't for e-readers. Okay? Because before e-readers, you had to have a physical book in your hand.

and nobody's going to get on the bus or the train reading pornography. They're just not going to do it. But when 50 Sheds of Grey came out, it was people using Kindles, e-readers, co-bos. That's where it exploded. But in 2025, we're seeing this massive, massive popularity being driven by TikTok of

monster porn, fantasy porn. And it's being read by It's being read by women And it's being written by women It's coming out of the Romantasy genre But the Romantic I'm not even sure

What Romanticie is Half Fantasy Half Romance A little bit erotic But now we've got Monster Bate Yeah the book itself Morning Glory Milking Farm

It says a monster bait Romance So this is Sexually Explicit pornography About Wankin Off Minotors so obviously I'm at the Kill Michael Ambush site going fuck I don't want someone to open up my ebook and see that

but then I said fuck it who cares and then I remembered I've actually written madder than that anyway I have an erotic short story from my first collection of short stories I have a story called Arsh Children which is quite sexually explicit and it's about Eamon de Valera

and it's actually connected a little bit with the Kill Michael Ambush. It's about Amon Devalera. He finds out that he's got Holy Mary's womb in his bowels. And then Michael Collins has to have sex with him up the arse to get his bowels pregnant so that Amon Devalera can give birth to his ars children, which are a strange little humanoid, elite race of IRA soldiers

and the murders that they commit, do lead to the Kilmichael Ambush. So it was a little bit of a full circle moment where I'm going, oh okay, this is starting to make sense now, right, okay. So to the person at the office of Public Works on Garnish Island who picked up my e-reader, opened it and saw, I wonder what Blind Boys reading and then the first thing you saw was Morning Glory Milking Farm. Yes, I am reading a book about wanking off mine at doors. It's not for the purposes of sexual arousal. I know that This might look like damage limitations too. This might look like

he's after getting caught. He's after getting caught. With Minotaur-wanking fucking material. And now he's trying to do damage limitations. Now he's trying to... He's trying to do a podcast about it before the person at the Office of Public Works decides to tell everybody.

What I'm fascinated by is how, This, so this monster porn genre, it's after getting really fucking popular. And it's pissing off. It's pissing off people who are into literature, but it's pissing off fascists. It's pissing off fascists because of who's reading it. It's being read by women. It's being read by a lot of women. Not just minotaur sex, but other.

lizards fucking claws tails grotesque sex creatures do I think these women want to have sex with a minotaur

no I think what it is it's a form of erotic literature where a man isn't present a human man a human man is not present instead what you have is

exaggerated descriptions of erotic touch, taste, smell, everything you'd associate with the language of sex penetration, everything. But a human man isn't present because this isn't necessarily like a niche genre of people who want to have sex with bulls. It's not that. I don't fully know what it is, but it's capturing a zeitgeist of some description. And the fascist, the right wingers that it's pissing off, these are men who hate women, these are men who hate feminists, these are men who are frightened of intelligent women. They're feeling very threatened by this genre. They're feeling threatened by sex books where men have been removed. And instead, there's dragons and minotors, but also they're calling it degenerate literature.

Degenerate, dumb, stupid, deprived, depraved. And degenerate, that's a Nazi term, the Nazis had degenerate art. In the online rise of fascism, there's this, this fetishization of classical ideas, Greek, Roman, Western ideas, Often you'll see these accounts and they have like Roman statues and Greek statues and all of their content is basically weren't things great back then and you scratch beneath the surface and it's quite racist. What they mean is Western hegemony. What they mean is wasn't it great then in the age of empire? In the age of when white Anglo-Saxon men were the only voices and nothing competed with it.

and the men who get pissed off by books like Morning Glory Milking Farm about wanking off Minotaur's who would call it degenerate who feel threatened because women are reading it who would be misogynistic about it they'd fetishise

Greek and Roman mythology and the thing is right so also as well I'm fascinated by how utterly hilarious it is how fucking hilarious is it that there's a book where a woman gets a job in a Minotaur farm wanking him off.

Like, it's absurd and ridiculous and funny. And yes, it's, like, sexually shocking and outrageous. But then you go and literally look at Greek mythology itself. And the story within Greek mythology, thousands of years old, of how the Minotaur was conceived, is actually way more fucked up than Morning Glory milking farm. Like in Greek mythology, there was a woman called, actually there was a king

there was a king called King Minus of Crete and King Minus prayed for a beautiful white bull and the god of the sea Poseidon gave King Midas

or King Minus this gorgeous white bull the most incredible bull you've ever seen in your life just perfect but the custom was in ancient Greece if the gods gave you a gift Like if Poseidon, the god of the sea, gives you a fucking gorgeous white bull

The custom is you must then sacrifice that bull To Poseidon, it's what you do If the gods give you a gift You sacrifice the gift to the god To show thanks But King Minus was like No, I think I want to keep this bull I'm not going to sacrifice it at all

Instead he got a different bull And sacrifice that to Poseidon I tried to trick Poseidon and said, there's the bull, but then Poseidon was like, that's not the fucking white bull, you cheeky cunt. So Poseidon is mad and eyed because King Minus didn't sacrifice the bull, the white bull, and he also tried to trick him.

So Poseidon is like, okay, I'm going to get my revenge. So he puts a curse on King Minus' wife, Passifay. And the curse is Pacifay will no longer want to have sex with her husband, King Minus, because she's going to become obsessed with fucking that white bull morning, noon and night she is enamored

every part of her sexual desire every thought that she has is about having sex with that fucking white bull which is a bull it's an animal but she can't she can't no matter because

the mechanics of it just doesn't work how can she get how can she even convince that bull a completely different species to want to have sex with her a human being it just doesn't work and her heart is broken because of this so then she goes to a fella called

Deadless. Deadless is an inventor she says to Deadless look I need to have sex with that bull it's all I can think of I can't think of anything else please and Deadless then invents an utterly mad cow arse costume. So Deadless makes a wooden cow's arse. And then Passifay sticks her human arse into the fake cow's arse. And then finally the bull comes over and her wish is granted.

And the bull has regular sex with King Minus's wife. Through the fake cow arse. Then she gets pregnant and gives birth to a weird child. A weird child that's half bull, half human. the Minotaur and King Minus is then tormented with his weird aggressive son so King Minus doesn't want to kill his son but is also horrified by it because it's half bull and then King Minas banishes

the Minotaur to an island to live on a labyrinth where he can't escape so that's supremely fucked up erotic strange weird literature from the Greeks the Greeks. That's classical civilization. That is classical literature right there. That's from the Greeks. And the only difference between that and Morning Glory milking farm is it's a better

story. It's a better, it's a much better story. That story about Pacifica and the Bull, I'm like, what happens next? What happens next? Unfortunately, no part of Morning Glory milking farm, Are you like, what happens next? Do you know what happens next? Every time. There's just descriptions of a bull's penis. I'll read you a quote. I'll read you a quote.

Make sure there's no children around. She quickly cupped his balls, feeling them pulse as they emptied in rhythmic sparts. She began pulling them, squeezing as she did, milking them like others, the way the good little cows preferred, milking him dry.

So, you don't want to have to explain to someone where you're reading a book like that. But I'm fascinated by it because I'm trying to figure out what it's saying about a zeitgeist. This genre of story where women are marrying or having sex with animals or beasts, like this is present in folklore all around the world. Like even within folklore, it's known as the animal as bridegroom. genre and every culture has these stories and one theory about their purpose historically is it was because of arranged marriages that these stories would where you've like let's just

take the classic the classic fucking Beauty and the Beast beauty and the Beast's from the 1700s but before that it was a European folk tale in many farms Before we get into that, let's have a little ocarina pause. I don't have an ocarina. Why I do, I have so many ocarinas, I have no ocarina. In the same way that I just noticed today, I have so many fucking socks, I have no socks. It's difficult to explain.

I'm overwhelmed by ocarinas and I'm overwhelmed by socks and I need to categorize them and order them so they can have these things again. So I'm going to blow into a plastic bottle and you're going to hear some adverts for bullshit, all right? Oh, that's tasty. Say hello savings and goodbye worries with Freedom Mobile. Get 60 gigs to use in Canada, the US and Mexico

for just $39 a month. Plus get a one-time use of 5 gigs of Rome Beyond data. Conditions apply. Details at freedommobile.com. $1 plus tax for a smooth, small, premium roast coffee at McDonald's. That means rich, full-bodied flavor. At a price that's just as satisfying, must be McAfee. Enjoy a small make-cafe premium roast coffee for just $1 plus tax. At participating McDonald's in Canada, prices exclude delivery.

Swiped is a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story of the visionary founder of online dating platform Bumble. Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad Whitney Wolfe as she uses extraordinary grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry paving her way to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped, starts streaming September 19th only on Disney Plus. I had a good bass sound off that there now and it's gone.

support for this podcast comes from you the listener via the Patreon page patreon.com forward slash the blind by podcast if this podcast brings you mirth merriment distraction entertainment whatever has you listened to this podcast please consider supporting me directly via the Patreon page all I'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month that's it and if you can't afford that

don't worry about it you can listen for free you listen for free because the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free Patreon.com forward slash the blind by podcast if you are signing up

make sure you give me actual money rather than signing up as a free member that there's no benefit to that you're just giving Patreon your data and then the other thing is don't sign up on the Apple app Apple are greedy cunts they'll take 30%

then look this keeps the podcast independent like this is what are we dealing with this week this is about the IRA and wanking off

fucking mine atours all right advertisers aren't into that advertisers aren't into that but no advertiser can come in here and say don't do that podcast do something different that can't happen here because we're listener funded

so we can have as many IRA wanking mined to our podcast as we want and I don't think we should have it any other way that's proper public broadcasting that is okay upcoming gigs 23rd of September wonderful Tuesday night I have got a gig in Vickers Street that gig is now sold out but I'm going to release the guest list tickets

okay because I won't be using them so there's still a few tickets available for that gig but very little. Come along to that. Don't miss my beautiful Vickr Street Tuesday night gigs. They're wonderful. Then, Derry.

Derry on the 27th, which is a Saturday night gig. Come on up to Derry. Come up to Derry. I'm going to have a cracking guest. All right. And then, I think the next one, I suppose, after that. Sligo is sold out.

I'm up in Mead at the Puka Festival on Halloween night. Looking forward to that. Okay, back to the weird second. stuff. Let's talk about beauty and the beast. There's a woman called beauty and she lives in a family that has a few quid, a wealthy family and then suddenly that family loses all its money and her dad effectively sells beauty off, his beautiful daughter, he sells her off to be married. But the person that she's sold off to is the beast, this big hairy,

rotten, horrendous beast who happens to be a very wealthy beast who lives in a castle. And against her will, beauty, her dad's like, look, the family's fucked, we don't have any money anymore, you're my beautiful daughter,

your property, I have to sell you like property that is disgraceful, horrible, disgusting beast. And then if you do that, you get to live in a castle and we'll get a dowry and a few quid and the family would be saved. So do that. so she marries him she goes to the castle

and each night the beast wants to have sex with beauty and she's like no fucking way I can't do it I can't do it you're a weird animal thing I'm not doing it you're disgusting but eventually she starts to realise that even though he's a big hairy smelly horrible beast

his personality isn't like that there's a kindness to him There's a gentleness to him And she warms to him slightly But she dreams At night time She dreams of a handsome prince Even though she's stuck with this big smelly beast

And then she starts to get really homesick She starts to miss her family And she goes to Beast and says Look I'm here in the castle, I'm married to you I really want to see my fucking family Please I miss him And because he's kind He goes okay

And he lets her off to visit her family. But then when she's with her family, she's like, I don't want to go back to that big fucking smelly beast. Oh God, I can't face it. He's disgusting. I don't want to go back to the castle. So she delays, she delays going back to the beast. She finally returns and she finds the beast in the castle and he's dying of grief. He's heartbroken because he thought beauty was gone forever. And she is so moved by how much she can see that he clearly loves her, because he's heartbroken that she was gone. He's nearly dead because she was gone.

That she finally submits. She submits and accepts. Oh my God, I think I love this stinking fucking bastard. And she rides him. And then suddenly he turns into a handsome prince. So that's beauty and the beast. That was written down. The first one that was formally written down is the 1700s by...

Oh, I can't think of her fucking name. Gabrielle de Villeneuve, who was an aristocratic, wealthy French woman and she's the first one to write that story down. But clearly, like that story, that reflects the zeitgeist. That's the anxieties of women being sold off for marriage. It's the anxieties of, like, Beauty and the Beast is quite misogynistic because it doesn't feel liberating. It feels as if it's training women to just, you have

no choice in this matter. You don't get the pick. Fuck love. Forget about love. Forget about the handsome prince. You're going to get married to whoever the fuck because you're effectively property and your dad's going to choose who you're going to get married to based

on dowry and you're going to marry him and you have to now you have to figure out a way to turn him into a handsome prince. You're going to have have to do that because that's your role in society. And that's what those, that's my reading of those stories. Minotaur milking farm or morning glory milking farm. What I find interesting about that is the central character, I think her name is Violet.

She's got huge amounts of student debt, it's the millennial condition, massive massive amounts of student debt and also rent is high. She has the struggles of a fucking millennial, massive debt, an inability to get a steady career. So like Beauty and Beauty and the Beast, where she doesn't have a choice, beauty and beauty in the beast, it's an arranged marriage. She is forced into a situation that she doesn't agree to because the conditions of society have decided this. In morning glory milking farm the central protagonist is under a duress she gets a job wanking off minotors and then eventually learns to really love it and become sexually aroused by it so that i find that very fascinating i find that really interesting and i can't help but think about uh there's this saint called saint

Wilgefortis I would have mentioned Wilgefortis on a podcast from maybe seven fucking years ago Wilgefortis is a very interesting saint Wilge Fortis is illegal it's an illegal saint to worship in the Catholic Church

Wilgefortis if you saw Wilgofortis is basically Christ up on the cross with a full beard and a pair of boobs that's what Wilgefortis is it's beardy Christ

with a woman's body crucified and St. Wilgefortis is an illegal saint in the Catholic Church and the cult of Wilcofortis Wilcofortis was worshipped

by women who were in abusive marriages The story is that there was a girl called Very similar to Beauty and the Beast There was a girl called Wilgefortis Germany or somewhere like that there was a girl called Wilco Fortis

and she was beautiful and her dad was like your property I'm going to marry you off to a disgusting man I'm going to marry you to a big old disgusting man that's what I'm going to do so he did and Wilco Fortis was like

oh my God I'm just a young girl and I have to marry this disgusting old horrible man tomorrow because this is how society is. So Wilga Fortis is like, I need to get out of this. So she prays and prays and praise and praise to God and says, please intervene, please intervene.

I do not want to marry this beast. And the next morning she wakes up and she has a giant beard, a huge big beard. And when she goes on her wedding day to get married, the beast, the big smelly, old man who's going to be her husband who has a lot of money, he goes, I'm not fucking marrying a woman with a beard and rejects her. And then Wilga Fortis is free. She's free of the marriage that she was coerced into that she didn't agree to that she didn't want to do. And then from

that you got St. Wilga Fortis, which I think it was throughout the 14th and 15th century. There was the cult of St. Wilco Fortis. This... literally it's Christ with a woman's body nailed to a cross a woman's body and a beard and this saint was worshipped by women who were in

marriages that they wanted to escape from either because those marriages were arranged or abusive or whatever and I just I love St. Wilco Fortis because she's an illegal saint. How cool is that? And the other thing

the other thing that I just got thinking about because of Morning Glory, Milking Farm. And how, on the surface, it's like, oh, this seems new, this seems unique. Oh my God, what's this explosion, monster porn, what's happening? And it's like, no, this shit has been here all the time in different guises. It's always been here. And to take it back to the fascists. One of the most harmful readings of the Bible is known as the Serpents.

seed theory and the serpent seed theory is I did my Old Testament podcast about two weeks ago

I spoke about the Garden of Eden and the fall and I spoke about fucking Adam and Eve's sons

Cain and Abel so there's one reading of the Bible which is that in the Garden of Eden Eve

it wasn't that she ate an apple like the devil come along, that the serpent came along and said to Eve, eat that apple there that God said you can't eat, the knowledge of good and evil. The serpent seed theory is that the serpent came into the Garden of Eden, this lizardy, weird, beastly creature, the devil. And he seduced Eve, Eve, who was in a covenant with Adam, her husband. And the serpent seed theory is that Eve fucked the devil, and the devil got her pregnant, and she secretly carried this baby and didn't tell Adam, and she gave birth the two kids, twins.

And these twins were Cain and Abel. And Abel had been fertilised by Adam's sperm, but Cain secretly was fertilised by the devil's sperm, by the serpent's sperm, by the serpent's sperm, the serpent's sperm. and then they get kicked out of the Garden of Eden because God knows God is like you fuck the devil I'm not even going to tell Adam but you fuck the devil so you can get the fuck out

you're after doing the first ever sin Eve a woman should never cheat on her husband especially not carry a baby even though that's what fucking God did with Mary isn't it but anyway look at me bitching about God bitching about God

I genuinely try to bitch about God anyway look fucking she gives part to Cain and Abel and in the serpent seed theory

Cain is the son of the devil and Cain and Abel as you know right Kane kills Abel Kane kills his brother The first ever murder is committed

When Kane kills Abel Evil is born into the world In that moment But the serpent seed theory And this is why it's so fucking dangerous The serpent seed theory started to emerge With a group called the British Israelites Fucking lunatics

The British Elder Israelites They would have came about around again 1890 would have been Edwardian and the British ill-Israelites would have been anti-Semitic racist the British Israelites basically believed that British people right Anglo-Saxon white British people are descended from the 12 tribes of Israel that British people are the true chosen people the true Israelites in the Bible right? They believed that Jewish people were the seed of the devil and they incorporated race science. So the serpent seed theory is

dangerous because the British Israelites were like well you've got good people and bad people. Bad people such as black people Irish people Jewish people Jewish people. Anyone who's not white basically. Those people are inferior and stupid and violent and savage. Do you know why? Because they're descended from Cain. You see, the devil went into the Garden of Eden and fucked Eve. So everyone who's bad and not white and perfect like us, those people are descended from Cain, but us, we're descended from Abel. Adam was his da, we're good, we're pure. Everyone who isn't us deserves to die because they are the devil, they are Satan, they are Satan's seed.

These were white supremacists, Christian white supremacists and the British Israelites were very heavily active in Ireland. In 1890, they got it into their fucking heads. So they went reading Irish mythology. And in Ireland we have the Hill of Tara, the Hill of Tara up in Mead. The Hill of Tara is a very significant site. It's a very significant archaeological site.

In Ireland, it's where kings were crowned, I suppose, the high kings of Ireland. And there's a stone on the Hill of Tara called the Leah Fall, which in Irish mythology was said to be a stone. stone that was brought by the Tuahedanin, which were a race of fairies, brought from the other world and new kings get made by the Leia Fall. But because in Ireland we were so good of preserving our mythology, these British-Israeli colonizers started to read our mythology, and then they became convinced that the Leia Fall was the site of where God buried the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark of the Covenant is the Ten Commandments. the literal Ten Commandments

in an arc in like a casket, an ornate casket and the stone tablets that God gave to Moses of how humans should behave. The British Israelites became fucking convinced that the Ark of the Covenant was buried up in the Hill of Tara.

So in the 1890s these mad bastards went up to the Hill of Tara and vandalised the fuck out of it. They tried to excavate the Hill of Tara a monument that's thousands of years old trying to find the Ark of the fucking Covenant and trying to find the Ten Commandments and I think WB8s

and Douglas Hyde and a lot of them went up with hatchets and attacked the British Israelites to try and stop them from digging up the Hill of Tara but also what you see with the British Israelites these lunatics who thought that they were the original Jews they also start to

fraternise with Ulster Unionists and the British Israelites become the first kind of far right right wing that you start to see in Ireland especially around the time of the War of Independence around 1916 onwards

they start to bring like hardcore anti-Semitism so these people would have fucking really hated Irish people they would have believed Irish people to be inferior race. These two called Robert Knox and John Beddo.

They said that the Irish were inclined to criminality and that this innate Irish criminality could be determined through an analysis of the shape of the skulls of Irish men who had Negro appearance. So in amongst like pseudoscience, like phrenology,

the measuring of skulls, within race science, which is bullshit, they have this serpent seed theory in there that the different races exist because Eve fucked the serpent. That's what you're seeing here. You've got pure, white, perfect Anglo-Saxon people

who descend from Adam. But then everybody else, that's because Eve fucked the devil. So everybody else isn't human and deserves to be killed. Now, I'm thinking about all of this. well I'm on the fucking kill my well I'm at the side of the kill Michael ambush

and worried about oh God what if they find out about that fucking mind at door wanking book so these are the thoughts that are going through my head but around the time of the Kilmichael ambush let's say 1920 the British Israelites they start to get friendly

with the unionists and they start to become terrified that what if Ireland gets independence and one British Israelite Princess Alice, the Countess of Athlone, right? So a planter in Athlone. She founds the British Israel World Foundation with the Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan in America. So this is 1920 now. So the colonizers in the big houses, they start to realize,

oh my God, our days might be numbered. Irish in the might be a fucking possibility. We've been here for 800 years this might end. And in that sense of the patties are going to beat the British, there's 17 dead fucking auxiliaries

down in Kilmichael. These are elite soldiers. How did this happen? What you start to see amongst the British Israelites is they start to believe that the Irish are too stupid to do this on their own. It must be the Jews. So they become convinced that the 1916 rising,

Michael Collins, War of Independence, the Balfour Declaration, where you start to see the Zionist project in Palestine, they become convinced that this is all part of a global Jewish conspiracy, that there is no way possible. There's no way that there's someone called Tom Barry and a bunch of paddies who can take out 17 elite soldiers. No, no, no, this is the Jews.

who are somehow secretly funding this or they're secretly behind it, the hidden hand. So the British Israelites, they, you know, really friendly with the Ulster Unionists. They're like nearly trying to hatch a plot that in the event of Ireland getting independence, the south of Ireland, it does happen in 1922.

They're just like, there is no past, these people are so shrew. stupid and so dumb and inferior that there is no possible way that they can self-govern it can't happen Paddy cannot self-govern because he's he's an ape effectively he is a descendant of the serpent seed so there's no way that Paddy can self-govern and the British Israelites fizzled out a bit but their ideas they travel to America I know that British Israelites ideas influenced Mormonism And where you see it a lot now is the Christian Identitarian Movement, and this is a big American thing.

And the fucking US Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegset, he's got a tattoo that leads people to believe that he is involved in the Christian Identitarian Movement or the Christian Identity Movement. And this is the modern American iteration of the British Israelite movement today. it's an incredibly racist view of the only true Christians can be white Anglo-Saxon or Germanic people. They believe fully in the serpent seed theory. So anyone who is not white-skinned is effectively a descendant of the union of Eve and a lizard. And the most hardcore, dangerous fascists in America adhere to this. this belief, the Klu Klux Klan, and then you've got a group called the Arder. The Arder were a neo-Nazi terrorist group who did bombings in the 80s. And in 2024 it was reported that

ex-members of this neo-Nazi group, the Arder, they were a terrorist neo-Nazi group. They're actually, one of them is active in Ireland and is mingling and advice. members of the Irish far right, so it's gone full circle. So I hope that's a sufficient explanation to the person in the Office of Public Works on Garnish Island, who looked through my e-book reader, who looked through that reader and found a book called Morning Glory Milking Farm. I'm not into wanking off Minotaur's. I'm using the book to parse the zeitgeist,

to interrogate the book as a palimpest of enduring anxieties about sex, labour and power within the millennial condition and the global rise of fascism all right I'd know what the fuck that episode was about you know some episodes are very robust hot takes

other times I have phone calls and every so often I've one of these of one of these ones I suppose it's like a Minotaur of a podcast, isn't it? I feel like King Minus, when his wife just suddenly give Bart to the weird cow child. That's what this episode is like. It's just like a squarming cow child. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to do with this episode or how to define it. But I love it. I'm not going to throw it into a maze. I love this episode unconditionally

like all my other podcasts. All right. I'll catch you next week. Rub a dog, wink at a swan, wank off a minor tour. Dog bless. ...and... ...and... ...that... ...the...

...the... $1.1 plus tax for a smooth small premium roast coffee at McDonald's. That means rich, full-bodied flavor at a price that's just as satisfying. Must be McAfee. Enjoy a small make-cafe premium roast coffee for just $1 plus tax. At participating McDonald's in Canada, prices exclude delivery. Swiped is a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story. of the visionary founder of online dating platform Bumble. Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad

Whitney Wolfe as she uses extraordinary grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry, paving her way to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped starts streaming September 19th, only on Disney Plus.