The Blindboy Podcast - The Anatomy of an Irish Wedding

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

I speak about hidden codes that determine who sits where at an Irish Wedding. Also I answer questions about music, art and adults who must move back in with their parents.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Succumb to the belly bunion husbands you fun-sized Duncans. Welcome to the Blind Boy Podcast. If you're a brand new listener, maybe listen to some earlier podcasts to familiarise yourself with the lore of this podcast. Don't go in without a swimming cap. Don't go in without armbands. The water's too deep. There's too much chlorine. If you're a regular listener,

if you're a hate-filled hazel, or a vertical George, you know the crack. Welcome back, you cunts. I want to say thank you to everybody for the lovely feedback for last week's podcast. I had so many kind messages, lots and lots and lots of kind messages from people. Because last week, I revealed that I'm autistic, and I found out that I'm autistic.

And I just had tons of lovely messages of support, because that was kind of a tough, a tough-ish podcast to do last week. Because I was speaking about shit that I hadn't processed, and I was kind of processing it live. And I still haven't really processed it I got so many people who completely and utterly related to my experience so much

that they themselves are now wondering if they're possibly autistic or neurodivergent in some way because my experience of being in school rang true with a lot of people and that's the reason I spoke about it to try and reduce stigma and to be open about it and it doesn't surprise me that a lot of people found commonalities in my experience because it's estimated that about 40% of the population of the human population are neurodivergent. And that includes autism, ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia, Tourette's syndrome. It's estimated that that's 40% of the population and a huge people are undiagnosed and just going about their life with the environment creating stresses that they shouldn't have to deal with.

And that makes me annoyed because a lot of neurodivergence is medically classed as a disorder and 40% is a large number. I don't see how 40% can be a disorder. And I certainly don't experience my neurodiversity as a disorder. And that's speaking for myself purely. I experience context specific inconveniences. Like if I'm at a wedding or in the barbers. But the rest of the time I'm by myself having wonderful fun.

Exploring ideas of my passions and interests. And that enriches my life and gives me personal meaning and for me personally it has helped me greatly to excel professionally across multiple different disciplines in my career for more than a decade and anyone who'd called that a disorder doesn't understand it the disorder that I see is society deciding that there's one type of brain and this type of brain is normal and correct and ideal and anything that deviates from that is abnormal or disordered. I can't accept that because I'm my own personal proof that it isn't true. It's that strict rule and the strict societal structures

that are made around that rule that put me in mental health difficulty. Not my brain. The structures that my brain is expected to adhere to. That's what creates emotional unease for me. Put it this way. Someone who's dyslexic is considered neurodivergent. A dyslexic person has difficulty with the written word. Well, what if that dyslexic person grew up in an oral culture

where spoken word is the thing and writing doesn't exist, such as 300 years ago in an agrarian society where not everybody gets the privilege of going to school and learning how to read. That was a lot of our ancestors. Like, why do you think pubs are called the Spotted Dog or the Horse and Hound or the King's Head? Because that tradition comes from a time when most people couldn't read so the pub would have a painting of a spotted dog not the words the spotted dog

a painting of a spotted dog hanging outside and everybody would call it the spotted dog what a wonderful world for a dyslexic person to exist in. That's a neurodivergent friendly way to name your pub. But that person might not experience any difficulty whatsoever existing in society because the rule that in order to exist in society you must be able to read wouldn't exist. So society creates the disorder not the person. Now that person is less likely to self-shame, less likely to experience depression, less likely to experience intense anxiety around reading, because the cultural structure and demands don't exist. And also the rule that to be intelligent you must be able to read, that's a social construct.

intelligent you must be able to read. That's a social construct. When more and more people started to receive education, reading was part of this education. And then we falsely began to associate the quality of reading with the quality of intelligence. And then we started to shame people who can't read by calling them stupid. That's all a social construct. And if you know any dyslexic people, you'll know that their intelligence is not affected by their inability to comprehend words. So I think it's healthier for us to move towards a view of humanity,

that there's not just one type of brain and this brain is normal, that there's many different types of brains and that there is neurodiversity. But I just want to say thank you to all the messages of support. 99.9% fully supportive, empathic, DMs that I got from people. Apologies if I didn't reply, I got an awful lot of DMs.

The 1.1%, see I can't do maths, so I don't reply I got an awful lot of DMs the 1.1% see I can't do maths so I don't know whatever is the 99.9 the.1% of people who gave responses that I wasn't too happy with half of them would have been complete and utter

psychopaths who wanted to say something mean those people exist and then the other half of that one percent would have been well-meaning people who were a little bit patronizing people who meant well but they were saying like protect blind boy at all costs which i know is well meaning but it's kind of patronizing because I'm a confident, assertive, intelligent adult and I know how to, I know what goals I want, I know how to achieve them, I know how to operate in life. I have all of the skills to exist without needing protection and more so please don't offer

to protect me at all costs because I can protect myself. All I'm looking for really is a free pass if someone invites me to their wedding. That's it. No one, I'm not saying podcast listeners were inviting me to their weddings. I mean people I know in real life because I'm in my 30s so I'm not going out to fucking nightclubs and shit like that the vast majority of stressful social opportunities that I'm given come in the form of wedding invitations and it's a really

difficult situation because I don't want to go to people's weddings but when you refuse a wedding invitation that's perceived as incredibly rude so I want my autism diagnosis to give me a little free pass for that. If I get invited to a wedding I'd like to be able to say that's a bit stressful for me I might spend six months worrying about that now. Is it okay if I

don't come to your wedding and if I say I'm not coming to your wedding that you don't take that as a gigantic personal insult and it is possible for me to say I'd rather not come to your wedding while at the same time being really happy for you that you're getting married and if you're doing something before the wedding where it's like a smaller group of people getting together to celebrate the fact that you're getting married I'll come to that not a bother but the actual big wedding wedding with 80 strangers asking me how I know you asking me what I do I'd rather not come to that bit is that okay because that's that's all I want that's that's pretty much all I want with my autism diagnosis the ability to do that

and once I have that I'm grand plus, and I've only started to realise this in the past week after I've been reappraising my life anyone who's neurodivergent, autistic or even just a bit socially awkward will know that when you get invited to weddings you get put at the lunatic table anyway

like anytime there's a big wedding like a hundred people or more there's always that one table the one table which is as far away from the speeches as possible with the fucking misfits there's me the person who sells coke

the drunk uncle the person who couldn't find a date, the rabid conspiracy theorist, the person who's involved in multi-level marketing and they're going to try and use the wedding as an opportunity to sell everybody vitamins, the person who pretends that they're a guard and has been arrested for pretending to be a guard, guard and has been arrested for pretending to be a guard the person who went to Australia normal but came back with dreadlocks oh do you know who's

at that table the family member like the brother of the groom who definitely should be up at the main table with the rest of the family right but they're not because he's fighting with the groom or fighting with the rest of the family. And they couldn't not invite him.

And he's only there as an act of passive aggression because to not come would mean his brother, the groom, wins. That's the cunt you don't want at the table. He's the cunt you don't want at the table he's the buzzkill if that person is at the lunatic table there's no chance of crack that's the worst person and he's the only person really that deserves to be there

because everyone else is kind of harmless just a bit odd who else have we got at this table the person who'll bring a ferret in their jacket that's real that happened I sat beside that person at a wedding it was incredible, I loved every minute of it

learned shit tons about ferrets who else is at the table the person who doesn't belong at that table but their date is gonna get too drunk too early and will definitely try and have sex with someone who is getting

married at the wedding and who else the person who has loads of tattoos right but it's not the tattoos it's that when they're at a wedding they take their top off to show everybody their tattoos

do you know who's not invited to that table but they always end up at that table some young fella who's not invited to that table but they always end up at that table? Some young fella who's working at the wedding, right? Some like porter who's working at the wedding, who's a bit of a mad cunt and then he ends up like being a part of the wedding and unofficially joining the table and like definitely losing his job, like that's the best part. It's like he has given up his job as a porter in the hotel and is now

part of the wedding and has lost his job because he's decided that the crack is more important than his job and then the last person who else is on this fucking table maybe a dissident republican

and this is how you can tell a dissident Republican at a wedding right because they're wearing the wedding clothes they're wearing their tux they're all dressed up to go to a wedding but they've got a grandfather shirt on and that's how you spot a dissident Republican at a wedding

so that's the table that I so when I go to a fucking wedding that's the table i'm putting every time every single fucking time so i kind of want to go to a fucking wedding now actually no weddings aren't too bad now when i'm when i think of the tables i'm put at but look everyone knows that fucking table at the wedding. Everyone knows that table. And, I don't know. It's, when you end up at that table. Here's what I don't like about it.

It's like, it lets you know. Ah shit, this is how people speak about you behind your back. So if I don't want to come to your wedding. Just, that's not a personal slight. I'd literally, I'd rather be at home reading about the history of toilets in the Byzantine Empire. That's what I want to be doing. That's my comfort zone. And I wish you the best in all your future endeavors and your marriage

but you know what though yeah if you're putting away if you're listening to this now and you're getting married in the next year or whatever and you're putting your wedding together you know what I'm talking about everyone knows that table

that I'm talking about it doesn't have a name but if you're putting a wedding together you know that fucking table if you're putting a wedding together, you know that fucking table because you're planning your wedding, you're planning your guests, you're deciding who sits beside who and you have the leftovers

you have a group of about six people and they are the leftovers because when you were deciding who sits where, you're going, no, I can't put them beside my aunt. I can't put that person beside my boss. I can't put them beside my cousin.

So you're left with all these people and you go, fuck it. Gotta put them all together at one table. And then you go, shit, that's a lot of lunatics. Now you've a problem. This is why I don't think the lunatic table is the right solution because now you've got a problem now you have multiple people who by themselves might be a bit awkward but now they're all together so you're like fuck it's like it's like holding a bomb it's like where do i put this bomb so you kind of say yourself and your your wife to be or your husband to be

you say to yourself right fuck it let's put we have to put him down the back all right because we can't have him fucking with the speeches all right we're videotaping the speeches this is our day we can't have that table fucking with the speeches in any way that they might be noisy because they're all together now you created this situation you've put you've put us all together so we have to put them

down at the back but the problem is if you think of how Irish weddings like the average Irish function room at a hotel what's down at the back

the emergency exit and the bar so you think you've solved the problem you haven't you've just actually made a problem. And I'm saying this as a veteran of the lunatic table. First and foremost, everyone who's at the lunatic table sits there, looks around and goes,

Shit, I'm at the lunatic table. We all feel a little bit of unconscious rejection and anger. Not a lot, but just enough that we kind of accept our role. If you put me at the lunatic table at the wedding, it's a bit disappointing. And then I go, fuck it, okay. I guess I'm a lunatic. So we rile each other up.

We rile each other up. And we're the closest to the bar. And we're the closest to the emergency exit. So while everyone else is having their dinner and chatting, we're down at the back, excluded. And someone says, do you want a double whiskey? I do. Yes, please. Do you want to smoke fags?

I do. Sure, the emergency exit is just there. Let's go out and smoke fags. Now dessert is being served. I'm several whiskeys in, talking about Bobby Sands with a dissident Republican smoking cigarettes indoors and we're all laughing too loudly because the fella beside me is showing us all how his ferret can fit perfectly into a pint glass. That happened. The ferret's name was Angel it was a ferret called Angel it was a girl ferret

and she was tame as fuck she'd be climbing up his suit in his arms jumping into the pint glass fucking unreal crack but you get what I'm saying the lunatic table at the wedding doesn't work

if you're planning a wedding don't go with the lunatic table find the people doesn't work. If you're planning a wedding, don't go at the lunatic table. Find the people who don't fit, take a risk, and put them sitting beside your aunt, and you'll be pleasantly surprised. Because if you put me sitting beside your aunt, and not the lunatic table, then I'm going to feel the social responsibility of that,

and you've given me a new role now. The role you've given me is, role now the role you've given me is don't speak to the groom's aunt about the complex history of bananas and the CIA and Honduras and I won't because I respect the fact that you've put me sitting beside your aunt so no lunatic tables they don't work they don't work and you know what in defense of the lunatic table, in defence of the people who are put at the lunatic table, as soon as the DJ starts, right? Not the band and not the dances. Soon as the dances are over, the DJ starts at about half ten. floor who are the ones that are now the ministers for crack at the wedding everyone who was put at the lunatic table and after about 11 half 11 your aunt wants to be at the lunatic table everyone at the wedding wants to be at the lunatic table and then chaos that's how your aunt gets ridden that's how your aunt you could have avoided this you could have avoided this if you didn't create the lunatic table

is what I'm saying you could have had a better wedding that's the most socially awkward thing I've done at a wedding em this was in my twenties and I probably had fuck all money and I was at a wedding

and the groom didn't drink. So at the end of the night I asked him for a lift home. I asked the groom for a lift home on the night of his own wedding. And then just everyone who heard it. Jaws dropped around the floor and then I went alright okay yeah I forgot it's your wedding that I'm at

that was an Irish wedding tangent that I didn't expect to go into but thank you for everybody who was giving me supportive messages last week about my autism diagnosis and I got a few queries as well, people wondering, why didn't I go on television or radio or the newspaper to speak about my autism diagnosis?

Well, I was contacted by quite a lot of TV, newspapers, etc. But I turned down all the interviews and I'll tell you why. It's a lack of trust at the moment not in the journalists like all the people who are asking me to speak about my autism on the radio or tv these people were being quite respectful and they would have handled it with respect and they were being compassionate and they were giving me a platform but I don't really trust

the people who write the headlines so when you go on the radio and you do an interview then it immediately because it's on the radio it immediately gets turned into a news article and the people who write those headlines I think they outsource it

and they don't write headlines that are fair or compassionate like a fair and compassionate headline would be blind by a ball club speaks about his autism diagnosis that's a straight up headline they wouldn't do that what they'd do is they would pick something inconsequential something I said in the interview and run with that as the headline. And unfortunately the headline they'd pick would be whatever is most likely to get people really pissed off on Facebook so that it drives up engagement.

And I knew that's what would happen because it's a really shitty thing about established media at the moment. So I didn't want to do that. I didn't have the headspace to see a bunch of people's daz on Facebook saying mean things about me because I've been misrepresented in a headline and I'm not being paranoid there and speaking about speaking from experience like at the very start of the pandemic the very start the first two months before all the anti-mask stuff there was a wonderful two months at the start of the pandemic where everyone was really frightened but there was also a collective

mood of we're all in this together and we must all support the nurses and we must all support the doctors and we're going to volunteer and we're all in this together and during those two months there was very little space for anyone being selfish in any way, that wasn't allowed so I went on the radio to speak about the impacts that the pandemic was going to have on the live industry, I used my voice

to speak up for other people who didn't have a voice, I mean people working in lighting, people working in sound, doormen, people running shows. I wanted to go on the radio and say this pandemic is going to be bad for an entire industry and I was using my voice and platform to do that. So I did and then during the interview which I used to speak on behalf of other people they asked the question and how has it been for you blind boy and i answered

truthfully i said fucking terrible all my gigs are cancelled my work is gone i don't know when i'm gonna gig again this is an awful thing that has happened to me so what did the people who write the headlines do they ran with just that so they wrote headlines that took just that bit completely misrepresented me and painted me as an absolute selfish bastard who would go on the radio to complain about how the pandemic has been terrible for me and me alone it was a it was quite a sneaky um and shitty thing to do to me just for the sake of getting a million daz incredibly angry on Facebook in the comments to drive up engagement so because of that

I was fucking getting harassed for weeks fucking people furious because they'd read this headline thinking that I'm a selfish bollocks so that left me with a distrust around established media

when it comes to something serious. So I was like, fuck it. I don't want to do it this week. I'm going to speak about my autism diagnosis on this podcast alone. Because even though there's a million people listening to this, this is quite a safe space.

Everyone listening to this is sound and supportive actually there was one piece i was contacted by a journalist called mike mcgrath from the examiner who he himself is autistic and he recently got an adult diagnosis of autism and he wrote a lovely article about this two weeks ago in the examiner but because mike mcgrath is autistic he came to me and said would you mind if i quoted some stuff in the podcast and wrote an article about it so i gave a thumbs up for that because i knew that he would not only handle it respectfully but make sure that the headline didn't represent anything misrepresent anything in the article so this week i'm going to do a question answering podcast and the reason

I'm doing that is the support and love I received from ye this week really really made me appreciate all of you who listen to this podcast and you're always asking me questions, always asking me speak about this, speak about that, can you talk about this and i don't do enough fucking podcasts where i address listener questions so i want to do that for you this week so i'm going to answer as many questions as i can so megan asks what is your favorite jojo song now i love that question megan because I don't know how the fuck you know I'm a fucking fan of an artist called Jojo

because I don't think I've mentioned it on this podcast. So fair play to you Megan. Jojo is an R&B singer who I've fathered her for years I'm just

I think she's incredibly talented I adore her and the reason is is that so Jojo had a huge song in like 2004 called Leave Get Out

and if you heard it you definitely know it because it was massive and she was only like a kid at the time and then she went real quiet there wasn't much after that and I went reading up about her

about 10 years ago and it was like she got badly fucked over by the record industry Jojo was supposed to be like the next Britney Spears the next Christina Aguilera she was supposed to be huge but next Britney Spears, the next Christina Aguilera. She was supposed to be huge, but she got involved in a really bad record deal.

The record company went bust and she was locked into a contract. And basically for most of her 20s, she couldn't release any music. And I always followed her because I just found it was heartbreaking that you had someone with so much talent unable to release music and now she's in her 30s she'd be about 33 and she's existing as a pop singer kind of independently which I love seeing I love seeing someone who's doing like like mainstream pop, but they're not with a giant label, they don't have a bunch of money behind them, they're playing small venues, and they're just fucking persevering with something they love, with a shit ton of talent,

so I adore Jojo, I love her music, she's a great performer, she has a wonderful voice, she's a great performer she has a wonderful voice and my favourite Jojo song is called Joanna and it's a song she released about two years ago, I think when she was 30 and it's a song she wrote to her

younger self, it's a song it's beautiful because it's a song she wrote to like 16 year old her, who never got a chance it's a song she wrote to like 16 year old her who never got a chance. It's her speaking to herself saying you were supposed to be huge. You were supposed to be big. You were supposed to be this and that but it never happened.

And there's such love. There's just lovely self-compassion in it. I just love it. So that's my favorite Jojo song. Joanna and Megan. I haven't a fucking clue how you know that I'm a fan of Jojo because that's one of my niche interests

another music question QC359 asks who's my favourite Wu-Tang Clan artist and why Ghostface Killer I've always been a huge fan of Ghostface Killer from the Wu-Tang Clan because his music, first off, he chooses the best producers. Ghostface really pioneered the use of

soul samples in hip-hop, like way before Kanye. Also, Ghostface as a rapper, he raps in a stream of consciousness style which when he was doing it like Ghostface's best album is called Supreme Clientel it's possibly my favorite rap album I'm not sure it's in my top three and Ghostface raps in a stream of consciousness style that's incredibly similar to how James Joyce writes. Go's face in one sentence will have a thought from the inside of his head, words that come out of someone else's mouth, and then maybe like a newspaper headline.

All three of those things in the same sentence. Effectively creating an entire scene through multiple internal and external viewpoints using language. And that's fucking Ulysses. That's what makes James Joyce Ulysses so revolutionary. That it's not just words that are spoken by the character's mouth but it's words as they're formed in the character's mind before they turn into words that come out of their mouth then that is interrupted by words that actually come out of their mouth and then you'll have

an observation that that person makes in their mind before they speak. So James Joyce tried to write the full gamut of what it is like to think and exist in the world as a human being. The inside of the brain. And Ghostface does the exact same thing with his rapping style. And I've always been fascinated with that about Ghostface does the exact same thing with his rapping style. And I've always been fascinated with that about Ghostface. And Ghostface is also incredibly surreal and weird. I've always loved how weird he was. He's got about 24 songs about deck shoes.

Remember the deck shoes that rugby players used to wear when they went to school? Those deck shoes. Dubarry's we used to call them. Ghostface is obsessed with them. He calls them wallabies. And on the front cover of one of his albums. It's just him looking like a drug dealer. Except he's not dealing drugs.

He's dying a lot of deck shoes. Multicoloured. Colours. So when I was a young fella. The name of that album was Iron Man. When I was a young fella the name of that album was Iron Man when I was a young fella I used to have this CD and I didn't have the internet and I'd just

stare at the cover of that album fucking bemused bemused to the point that I was disturbed going why is my favourite rapper obsessed with deck shoes so much that he's dying them different colours, what type of mad cunt is this, so I've always loved that

about Ghostface, he's a weird bastard, also there is a brilliant book called The Art of Ghostface Killer, which was written by a writer from Dublin. Called Dean Van Noyen. And that's fantastic. I think it's hard to guess. But it is a wonderful book. Not only about Ghostface. But the Wu-Tang in general. And the influence of Asian cinema. On the Wu-Tang Clan.

I used to fucking love Wu-Tang when I was growing up. I had a Wu-Tang Clan CD. And my dad saw it once. And he thought it said Wu-Tang when I was growing up. I had a Wu-Tang Clan CD. And my da saw it once. And he thought it said Wu-Tang Kean. And then. I had a Dr. Dre CD. And he called it Deirdre. Gavin wants to know.

Does your ma. Listen to your podcast. And what does she think of it. She does. My mother's in her 80s. And my ma listens to my podcast every week and she worries that i'm gonna run out of ideas so she says prayers to flannery bryan to give me inspiration and she says prayers to flannery bryan's brother because flannery bryan's my

favorite writer hands down flannery bryan is my favorite writer hands down Flann O'Brien is my favourite writer but Flann O'Brien's brother used to be like my family doctor, he lived in Limerick and my ma knew him really really well, his name was Fargus and that's the reason

to be honest I even grew up knowing who Flann O'Brien was because Flann O'Brien now is an incredibly important Irish writer and now he's seen as important as the likes of James Joyce but this is only recent

it's only the past 20 years really that Flann O'Brien is getting the literary respect that he deserves but throughout the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s years really that Flann O'Brien is getting the literary respect that he deserves. But throughout the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, Flann O'Brien wasn't given serious literary respect. A lot of his books would have been out of print. Flann O'Brien was known mainly as a daily columnist in the Irish Times but his books weren't taken seriously because they were seen as too weird

and because he used to use a lot of comedy in his writing, like Flann O'Brien has a book that's about a man who turns into a bicycle called The Third Policeman so when I was growing up in the house and my brothers the only reason Flann O'Brien books would have been

in my gaff is not because of the great big giant Flann O'Brien but because his brother was our family fucking doctor so Flann's books were in the gaff because it's like oh did you hear that

the doctor's brother has written a lot of books so my ma or my dad would have bought them out of curiosity and then they were in my house growing up and that's what i used to read and they're the stories that my brothers used to tell me and stuff and a lot of literary critics would have been given quite a hard time if they were taking the writing of flannery bryant seriously if they were putting it up there on the level with any of the great irish writers but now of course he is seen as there's some people who would say that flann o'brien invented post-modernism you know there are serious academics who will say flann o'brien invented post-modernism in the 1930s because he has a book called at swim two birds and at swim two birds it's got like two

starts like two beginnings three middles four ends like it's mad and what flan o'brien did as well with that book which was way way way ahead of his time way ahead of his time. Way ahead of his time. Like I think this might have even been the late 1930s that Swim Two Bars was written. But he, Flann O'Brien used to... It's a book about a person who's writing a book and then the characters in that book turn around and write a book about the author. It's a book that knows it's a book,

which was very unconventional in the 1930s and 40s. That's a tenet of postmodernism that we'd associate much more with the 1930s and 40s. That's a tenet of post-modernism that we'd associate much more with the 1960s onwards. But Flan used to like, he'd take characters from Irish mythology like Fionn MacCool and then he would take Fionn MacCool and write Fionn MacCool into like an American western and have Fionn MacCool interacting with American cowboys and mix and blend genres that don't belong together

for their ironic humorous purposes in the 1940s in a way that like Tarantino was doing in the 1990s with Pulp Fiction. So that's why some people call Flann O'Brien the inventor of post-modernism so yeah my ma listens to the podcast and then she gets awful worried that I'm gonna run out of ideas so she goes to bed and says prayers to Flann O'Brien and then out of politeness Flann O'Brien's brother, who she knew, so that they will give me inspiration from beyond the dead. Gary asks, how are my two cats?

Look at me racing through the fucking questions here, lads. Jesus Christ, I've answered about four questions in ten minutes. My two cats are fantastic. Silk and Thomas and Napper Tandy. They're both wild cats. They're both stray cats they will never be tamed there's no way to tame them Silken Thomas is deaf

he has impaired eyesight his sister Nappertandi looks after him she was very sick last August she had an abscess on her mouth very sick to the point that I was worried that she was very sick last August she had an abscess on her mouth very sick to the point that I was worried that she was going to die

she recovered perfectly they're doing fantastically I feed them every morning I'm not allowed to rub them I'm never going to be able to rub them they live in a little house they're two happy cats and I've accepted that

I'm never going to have a connection with them they're two happy cats and I've accepted that I'm never going to have a connection with them they're too wild they'll always keep about a foot away from me I can never touch them it's fine, we work it out together it's absolutely fine what I like doing is I love that two little stray cats

brother and sister have got a happy, comfortable fucking life and a small little house that keeps them dry and warm and guaranteed food every day. And they just want to chill out. Recently, the weather's been getting better, which is lovely to see because their entire posture changes as soon as the weather gets better.

They lounge a bit more and they want the sun on their bellies in the winter it's different they huddle up together, it's cold they sleep together in their bed and they keep warm but as a pair of cats they both very much love the sun they adore the sunlight so they're really appreciating the sunlight at the moment

now a third cat has shown up there's a lot of wild cats where I'm living and they're very territorial with certain there's about 5 or 6 different gangs of cats where I'm living and I have to kind of judge by

Nappertandy and Silken Thomas what cats are ok and what cats aren't so certain cats aren't allowed into their territory they're hunted out immediately but other cats are allowed in and what I find so beautiful is I leave out the food for my two cats in the morning

and they always leave a bit of food for certain other cats to come in so there's this new orange tabby cat that started wandering around the place now I can't establish a bond with him because I can't have three cats, three cats is a tipping point I can't do three cats

three cats is a problem so I have two cats and this third orange cat that comes to visit he's only allowed there because Silken Thomas and Napp Tandy decide that he's allowed. He's allowed lounge with him. He's not allowed into their bed.

He lounges with him and they leave him some food. I won't give him a name because as soon as I name him. Now I've got three fucking cats. And that's not happening. That can't happen. That's the tipping point. And once I go over that tipping point it's fucking chaos I've thought about naming him

I'm not you know he looks a bit like the actor Tim Roth and he does he's got a bang of Tim Roth Tim Roth when he was in that film Robber Eye with Liam Neeson

he's got that look about him but I have to avoid the gaze of this fucking orange tabby I can't let that little cat connection happen I can't lock eyes because then they bring you into that cat fucking magic that they do so I won't do that but I'll never shun him away

I won't hunt him away because I don't create the rules there that's Silken Thomas and Nappertandy that's their space and if they decide that this orange tabby is welcoming their space then I have to adhere to their fucking rules and respect that

that'd be like me going to someone's wedding and then kicking a person out of someone else's wedding I can't do that I better do my fucking ocarina pause now I've gone over time I don't have my ocarina now, I'm inside my office, I'm in my office, and it's very late, it's coming up to 12 o'clock at night in my office, and I think I'll be going a little bit longer, I don't like leaving the fucking office too late on a weekday night because it's in the middle of Limerick City and weekday nights in Limerick City after 12 it's a little bit bleak

the pubs and stuff aren't really open and it's just like bald boys out on the street looking for some hassle so I'm just gonna dive into my taxi let's do the kombucha pause I was drinking some kombucha earlier.

Which. Do you know what? I think a lot of kombucha is bullshit. I think if. If you buy that. The expensive shit that you get in organic shops. And it's in glass bottles. I reckon that's legitimate kombucha.

But there's other kombucha. And they call it kombucha. But it's in a plastic bottle. And it's a bit too fizzy. And I doubt it has a lot of probiotics in it. Because that's why I'm drinking. other kombucha and they call it kombucha but it's in a plastic bottle and it's a bit too fizzy. And I doubt it has a lot of probiotics in it. Because that's why I'm drinking fucking kombucha for the probiotics. Because they're good for the gut. And if you look after your gut you look after your head.

So let's have a kombucha pause. I'm going to tap the bottle of kombucha. And then maybe try and generate some sounds from the blowhole Of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil.

Hey! Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. Only in theaters April 5th.

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, April 5th. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Sounds a bit like the ocarina if... The ocarina if it had big baggy expanded holes at least that won't disturb any dogs that was the kombucha pause support for this podcast comes from or you would have heard an advert there support for this podcast comes from you the listener via the patreon page patreon.com forward slash the blind boy podcast. This podcast

is my full-time job. This podcast is how I earn a living. I adore making this podcast. The only way I'm able to make this podcast every single week is if I do it as a full-time job. I adore this work. But if you enjoy consuming this work work please consider paying me for that work if it brings you any bit of joy or distraction or solace or entertainment or whatever the fuck if you're if you're consuming this podcast just please consider paying me for the work that i'm doing what i'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month if you listen to this podcast and you say to yourself fuck it i like that if i met blind boy in real life i would buy him a pint well you can via the patreon page but if you can't afford it if you don't have the money right now

don't worry about it you can listen to this podcast for free because the person who can afford to pay me for my work is paying for you to listen for free. So everybody gets a podcast. I get to earn a living and it's a wonderful model based on kindness and soundness. Also, the Patreon model keeps this podcast independent. I'm a bit like my two cats, Nappertandy and Silken Thomas, in that I get to decide what advertisers come and advertise on this podcast. And I get to tell some of them to fuck off. Most importantly, because I don't rely on advertisers for this podcast, no advertiser can tell me what content to create, adjust my content in any way. Influence it. Control my content.

If any of them try to do it, I'll just say, this podcast isn't for you. Bye bye. So only through that process do I get to actually make a quality podcast. Because the thing about quality podcasting is it needs to be made by a small independent team and for me I don't even have a team it's just me but the key to a quality podcast is it needs to be made by a team of people or one creator who genuinely love what they're doing and are genuinely putting out

a podcast that they care about and And that's what I do. Whatever the fuck I talk about each week, I talk about it because I want to and because I'm passionate about it. And that authentic congruence is what creates the podcast hug. And it's why certain podcasts are very enjoyable and things like radio often aren't very enjoyable because with radio it's a space that's very much taken over by advertising and money and creativity is not the priority.

So by supporting not just my podcast but any independent podcast that you enjoy, by directly supporting those podcasts, you facilitate quality. Because the general podcast space at the moment is becoming quite fucking god-awful bad. There's so many new podcasts all the time. Advertisers are fucking money at creators to just sit down and talk to each other, throw some shit at the wall and we don't even care if the podcast is good, we're going to sell it based on your names and all these huge podcasts with big

names are filling up the space and small independent creators just get pushed to the bottom and are not heard anymore so that's the space that small independent podcasters are fighting in so support small independent podcasts am I going to be on Twitch this week?

yes I will twitch.tv forward slash the blind boy podcast this Thursday at half eight I won't be on Twitch next week because I'm in Spain next week writing my book I'm going to have a little writing week in Cordoba or Cardaba in Spain I'm gonna

get a bunch of shit written and hopefully I might bring my microphone with me and do a little a little outdoor podcast which I haven't done in ages I might do a little a walking podcast or something haven't done that in so long. Also, upcoming gigs. In May, I've got a gig in Madrid. A gig in Barcelona. Just look up Blind Boy Live Podcast Barcelona and Madrid if you want tickets. There's not a lot of tickets left. Then, I'm gigging in Brussels.

I'm gigging in Brussels in June I think. I'm pretty sure those tickets are on sale. I'm really looking forward to that. I didn't even know I had listeners in fucking Brussels. And in June. I don't know are these on sale yet. But I will be doing a tour. Of.

England and Scotland. Not sure about Wales. But. I'll be doing gigs in England and Scotland. Right. London. Glasgow. I think. Bristol. gigs in England and Scotland, right? London, Glasgow,

I think Bristol, Manchester and Liverpool. I think one of them might be wrong. I'm shit at advertising my own gigs, lads. All right? We're just going to have to cope with this. Actually, I am getting a website soon. I'm getting a website soon where I can update my gigs.

And then when I have this website, I'll just say to you, go to website soon where i can update my gigs and then when i have this website i'll just say to you go to this website and there's all my gigs i don't think of any irish gigs for a while so silicon batman wants to know how does one deal with moving back in with your parents i have to move home due to financial reasons and some advice would be greatly appreciated oh okay so moving back in with your parents presents a number of challenges and they're not the challenges you think of this is what you'd have to be careful of if you're an adult right in your fucking late 20s and your 30s and you're moving back in with your parents here's the number one thing you have to be mindful of and i'm going to take this from

family systems psychology when you return to what's known as your family of origin right so you're a grown adult you have your separate adult identity you've been feeding yourself you've been paying your own way you've been renting you have been living as an autonomous adult and you feel like an adult and you have your adult personality and identity that you've developed while being an autonomous adult well when we move back into our parents this can be quite threatening to our sense of self and we can without knowing it emotionally regress i always use christmas time as an example of this when you go back home at christmas and you're there with your family

you can end up behaving in ways that are like weird. Because what happens is the family system, the family of origin that you return to, you'll end up behaving emotionally kind of how you did when you were a child. So if you used to fight with your brother a lot when you were seven or your sister. If you meet them as an autonomous adult for dinner in a hotel. You might not have a fight with them because it's two adults talking to each other. But when you return home and your parents are present. And you're in the house that you grew up in. And you're in that structure.

You'll end up fighting with your sister or your brother like you were fucking seven so the threat is when you move back home is maintaining your sense of self and identity you don't want to start feeling like a kid again because the thing is when you start to feel like a child because you're at home with your fucking parents what can happen is that your self-esteem will be affected like you won't feel that sense of

freedom that you have as an adult to make your own choices and to have your own opinions so your self-esteem will be impacted because you might start feeling more childish reactionary emotions your sense of autonomy might be affected. By which I mean, when you're a child, you're not fully autonomous. Your parents, when you're a kid, your parents can tell you what to do. Your parents decide things about your life. Your parents can provide you with food. Your parents can provide you with transport. That's what being a kid is like. your parents can provide you with transport that's what being a kid is like as an adult when you return home you need to be mindful that you don't fall back into any of those patterns so what i would say to you is and this is going to be tough if you're living at home

and not like and as an autonomous adult you were making your own dinners we'll say you're preparing your own dinners in your apartment that you lived as an adult. When you return home, maybe don't get involved in the family dinner. If your ma or your da says to you, I'm putting on bacon and cabbage, do you want some? Maybe try not to get into that habit once again. If you go back into the habit of, I'm living at home with Ma and Da, and now I'm eating the dinners that Ma and Da are making,

and you're doing it every single day, you're giving away a little bit of power right there, and you're going to lose your sense of autonomy and confidence. Before you know it, what are you doing? You're not washing your own fucking clothes. You're getting your jocks and your t-shirts, and you're putting them into the basket beside the washing machine, doing? You're not washing your own fucking clothes. You're getting your jocks and your t-shirts and you're putting them into the basket beside the washing machine and you're expecting your ma or

your dad to wash them. Then what happens next? You're back in your old bedroom in the house that you've moved back into as in your 30s and you go off to work in the morning and your bedroom's a little bit messy and then you come home in the evening and what's happened your ma or your dad was bored and they went in and they cleaned your fucking room and what's happened there is like all of that is very tempting that's very tempting someone is making your dinner washing your clothes and cleaning your fucking room very tempting who doesn't want that but what's happening there is you're you're entering a regressive contract with your parents your parents don't know they're doing it either but if you as a grown adult allow your parents to start behaving in ways

that they would have when you were a kid i.e doing shit for you and then you allow that you will find yourself slipping back into old patterns you'll find yourself emotionally regressing so you come back from a long day at work being a responsible adult in work with responsibilities you come home from work and now all of a sudden your ma or your da shouts at you and says stop leaving your underpants in the fucking hallway. And then you immediately go

shut up ma, shut up and leave me alone. And then you slam the door of your bedroom. Now you've engaged in a teenage tantrum in your fucking thirties and it will creep up on you. And it will creep up on you. This dynamic will sneak up on you. You've returned to your family of origins. You regress to old dynamics.

And then that has a knock-on effect on your sense of self-esteem and your sense of confidence. You end up having... You end up... You will drift towards living the internal world of a teenager or a child. And the work that you've put in to become an adult can kind of disappear slightly. And then you go into work and your boss asks you to do something. And instead of responding assertively and confidently like an adult, now you're sulking with your boss.

And you're sulking with your boss as if your boss is a parent and you're a child and this can all happen outside of our awareness and it can have quite a bad impact on how we feel about ourselves and then you'll start doubting your own capacity to make decisions and after a long enough time you might start doubting your capacity to stand on your own two feet as an adult. Maybe you moved home because you're trying to save for a mortgage. Well after a year or two you might start to think, fuck it I'll never be able to live in a house on my own. I'm only a child.

So these are the dangers of moving back home as an adult. You might emotionally regress to being a kid and that's deeply unhelpful. As an adult. That's not helpful at all. So how do you stop that? What I would do in that situation. Is. I would begin. By not allowing my behaviour.

How I behave. To regress back to childhood. So. I'd wash my own fucking clothes. And I'd make a point of doing it even though you are in behave more like a lodger you're in your parents house that's fine that's grand behave like a fucking lodger you're not there as their child even though you are their child behave as a lodger wash your own clothes clean Clean your own room. If there's dinner being offered. Avoid it.

Not all the time. But if the reason for taking a dinner. Is convenience. Then don't do it. Pretend you're a lodger and you make your own meals. Or you offer to cook the meal for the entire family. But most importantly. Maintain your fucking boundaries as an adult and don't

allow yourself to fall back in because we don't know we're doing it you're going to fall back into old patterns, your parents will be the same and you will be the same and before you know it you're going to be throwing fucking tantrums in your 30s you'll be smoking hash

listening to Eminem. Peter asks I'll do this as my last question because it's almost an hour. Peter asks I'd always like to hear your views on cancel culture. I generally tend to avoid this one. But one thing I will say. So a discourse

around cancel culture or so-called cancel culture there's one thing that I don't see people focusing on enough and that's the forum within which discussions or arguments happen social media right people people have incredibly important discussions about race sexuality gender all of the most important discussions happen on websites where the algorithm is specifically geared towards people having the most reactionary emotions. So therefore, it's almost impossible to have any type of debate or discussion about a sensitive issue that requires nuance, compassion and context. You can't have these discussions on somewhere like Twitter or Facebook or TikTok because the very place where you're talking is pitted against

reasonable, rational, compassionate discourse. If you argue with someone about anything on Twitter, there can be no positive outcome because the algorithm is pitted against you both it's not an argument it's points based combat under the rules of a video game where you only have a certain limited amount of words to use, and the nature, because it's points based combat, so with a Twitter argument, I say something,

you say something, and the observers, award us points, for our argument via likes, that naturally pushes all discussion, towards something that's reactionary, and excessively angry, and all context is removed human emotion is removed body language is removed and the most fucked up part that exists because it makes

billionaires money the more reactionary you get online the more angry you get online the more anxious you get online the more you argue online the data of your behavior is what's being mined so that's what i like to think about i don't think about cancel culture i want to ask the question of why are we having such important conversations in a hostile environment that is actively designed to destroy any argument in favour of reactionary emotions so that billionaires can earn money. It's as if billionaires have created this false forum where we think we can actually discuss things

but what it is actually is this weird video game where we have the illusion of discussion and the illusion of debate and these cunts make money from it. That's a much more interesting conversation to me than even thinking about cancel culture. I'm going to answer one more question

and I'll answer it quickly. Heavily Discounted Historian asks, What's my favourite genre of books and how do you write such hard-hitting, realistic but also highly unrealistic short stories? Thank you, Heavily Discounted Historian. That's very kind. Favourite

genre? Magical realism, I suppose. Is that my favourite magical realism I quite like magical realism I like the work of George Louis Barhe and Mariana Enriquez

they're both Argentinian writers how do I write hard hitting realistic but also highly unrealistic short stories. I always use a technique called the unreliable narrator. So when I write a short story, my short stories are utterly mad. Like very very bizarre. Fantastical. Impossible things can happen in my short stories.

But I never break the rules of reality. Ever. Like even. A short story in my last book called Mara. Where. A girl moves to Barcelona. And becomes convinced that her next door neighbour is Donald Duck. Or even last week, I mentioned a short story called The Hellfire Scum,

where a character in the book believes that he has a tweed jacket that can rip the fabric of time. Or even a short story in my first book called Arse Children, where Michael Collins gets Eamon de Valera pregnant because the Immaculate Womb of Holy Mary is in Eamon de Valera's bowels. And then Eamon de Valera gets pregnant in his Immaculate Bowels and gives birth to 11 basketball-sized children out of his arse. All of these scenarios are utterly mad right but I never break the rules of reality with the story of Mara where the girl believes

the woman believes that her neighbour might be Donald Duck it all happens in her mind and she's the one telling the story well the story is that story is told in second-person singular which means that it's it's it's not told by her words in her mouth it's told by herself talk it's told by her conscious mind speaking to herself that second- person singular where you say you, you, you. So we the reader, we don't know that her next door neighbour is Donald Duck.

It happens in her mind. And what I'm always trying to play with is mental illness, mental health, paranoia, absurdity at what point in my character's journey does she believe that her fucking next door neighbour is actually Donald Duck and how can we believe that or should we trust this narrator, that's the

unreliable narrator, should I trust this person that's telling me the story, is the next door neighbour actually Donald Duck? Or is the person telling this story going mad? Similarly with the Hellfire Scum. That story is a conversation between two characters. Two characters, two friends who haven't met up in nearly 20 years.

And one of them suddenly arrives at the door of the other and he tells his friend I haven't seen you in years but I heard that you work in Apple in Cork and I'm here to tell you that I have a tweed jacket

and this jacket is so abrasive that it can rip the fabric of time and I can turn into a half an hour and his friend is going along with him listening and all the friend wants to do is talk about the old days but this dude is like no no I need to tell you about this jacket that can rip the fabric of time and then it emerges that I've come to you after all these years because you work in Apple in Cork and I believe that my tweed jacket that can rip the fabric of time. I believe that Apple can put this into iPhones.

And we can use this fabric that can rip time. We can put it into phones. And we can edit reality. We can edit the events of reality. The way that we would edit a social media post so all of that is fucking mad that's bonkers but it never actually happens in reality

it doesn't happen in the reality of my story my story is firmly grounded in the rules of actual reality and any of the madness that occurs on the page happens in the mind of one of the characters and we the reader don't know whether to believe him or not so I never use fantasy I never break the rules of what can actually happen in reality because if you use fantasy you can do whatever you want I don't like that I like to be adhere to the structures of reality and play instead with paranoia and anxiety

because the thing is when I write a short story I'm often engaging in a form of catharsis where I'm I'm playing with the deeply irrational parts of myself like when I used to get severe anxiety and very bad anxiety attacks, I would entertain quite irrational concepts. And when you are really anxious, you'll start to doubt yourself and wonder whether they're real or not. I spent a year literally afraid of my shadow, because I didn't have the self confidence to understand the difference between me and my shadow the story about Eamon de Valera

getting pregnant in his arse that doesn't happen either I do this whole story about Eamon de Valera has the womb of Holy Mary in his bowels and then when you get to the end of that story you realise this is actually a story within a story

and the main character in that story you realize this is actually a story within a story and the main character in the story actually wrote this story and published it online so even still no rules of reality are broken so that's how I write stories that are realistic but also completely unrealistic I often use the technique of the unreliable narrator and i never ever break the rules of reality any irrationality happens within the mind of a character who you don't know whether you can trust or not and i love doing that that's how i enjoy writing i enjoy the restrictions of reality and it makes the stories then much more human than if i just wrote something that was utterly batshit mad where

anything could happen i don't i wouldn't like the untethered freedom of that that would be too much into the sci-fi and fantasy world which isn't something I'm too interested in writing alright dog bless everybody I'll be back next week I was happy to answer your questions this week because I'm so appreciative of all the lovely messages you gave me last week so I really wanted to do that and to show ye that

I listen to ye so dog bless rub a dog if you see it. Enjoy the long afternoons. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first ontario center in hamilton at 7 30 p.m you can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play.

Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.