The Blindboy Podcast - The Barefoot Accountant goes to Emerald Shitty

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Mental health episode, I explore the concept of Core Beliefs through the story of the Wizard o Oz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Infuse the melty pool cues on Jude Delahunty's bowscrows, you stewed Houston's. Welcome to the Blind Buy Podcast. If this is your first podcast, I'd strongly recommend you going back and listening to some earlier podcasts. Some people even begin from the start. My podcasts aren't sequential, but I would like you to familiarise yourself with the lore of this podcast. If that's alright with you. There's over three... I can't talk this week.

Can't talk properly this week. There's over 300 episodes about multiple different topics. If you're a regular listener, you know the crack. I got some marvellous feedback for last week's podcast. My chat that I had with Keith Duffy formerly of Bi's Own currently of Bi's Life

I got some wonderful feedback it was great crack it was a very enjoyable podcast and Keith himself sent me a lovely message this morning he sent me a lovely kind message to say that he's been contacted by

just like a load of people in his past and stuff about the podcast episode, people just wishing him well and checking in which is always lovely isn't it and then I got lovely messages from all of ye talking about your new found

respect for Keith Duffy which is what I wanted to do to be honest because like I said last week he was in a giant international boy band he's had a massive acting career he's done so much stuff and no one's really sat down with him and said Keith tell us about it

it's great being able to go back and do being back doing live podcasts is great fun though and if you did enjoy that crack last week and you want to come to an actual a live podcast my last Vicar Street gig is going to be next Tuesday the 12th of April

and there's a handful of tickets left so come along to that I'm going to have another fantastic guest and it'll be tremendous crack. Lovely Tuesday night crack. Relaxed, calm, not chaotic. Tuesday night crack. You can go to bed on time. Barefoot Accountant. If you're a very regular listener, if you're a Heaven Sent Brendan or a Banjax Tanya and you've been listening to the podcast you'll know all about the Barefoot Accountant. But for those who are unfamiliar, I've recently acquired an office and I record this podcast in an office. I'm doing it right now. I'm recording the podcast in the office right now. It's late in the evening. It's 6pm. It's not that late.

I'm very much appreciating the light coming in the window. And I've actually changed my speech a little bit to accommodate this office. Which is nice. I kind of have to speak a little bit lower. A little bit lower. Because there's still a small echo in this room. So if I go loud. You'll hear the echo like that.

I wouldn't be able to do 2 FM. I wouldn't be able to. You couldn't record 2 FM in this office. I wonder, could you? Because they speak too loud. They're giving away gelato in Killiney. They're giving away gelato. I can't say gelato as a 2 FM DJ.

Free gelato in Dundrum Shopping Centre. Dundrum Shopping Centre. Free gelato. Hot gelato on 2FM melting down your ribcage. It's the feast of St. Andrew in Dundrum Shopping Centre. Ray Darcy drinks the blood of Christ. Actually, I was being a bit harsh on the acoustics You could do 2FM in this office

You could do a 2FM voice I don't think you could do a Like a SpinFM voice That's a bit too Too loud Guys if you just joined us here on SpinFM Joined us here on SpinFM In Dundrum Shopping Centre

Free gelato Free gelato Irish Republican ice cream Ray Darcy's wearing a suicide vest. Spit a fam. I have to do a podcast on fucking on Radio Voices. I have to. I'm obsessed. Obsessed

with Radio Voices. I'm obsessed with how that became a thing. And I have a feeling it's a really interesting journey. It's so... This is how I know there's a hot take. It's so fucking bizarre. Like radio voice, not just in Ireland,

in fucking England, in America, radio voice is so utterly bizarre, unexplainable, and so far from how any human being ever speaks that there has to be a really, really interesting reason behind it. But look, I've digressed completely. For those of you wondering about the barefoot accountant. So I got myself an office.

This office is where I now record this podcast. It's where I go to work. It's a lovely office. But it's a shared office space. So I've got my little soundproof room here. And I've got panels on the wall. And I've got a rubber sealer on the door so sound doesn't get in. So it's a nice little space.

However, in this shared office space, there was an accountant. He was to roam the corridors up and down, barefoot, not wearing any shoes at all, taking very loud phone calls. And he'd be screaming and howling in pain on the phone all day. And when he did that, I couldn't record this podcast. So I was wondering, what am I going to do about it? Was I going to confront him about it? Was I going to rat him out? How was I going to go about this? Well, the situation resolved itself.

Because I got a knock on my door about two weeks ago. And it was the barefoot accountant. And he was wearing shoes. And he said, I think it was the barefoot accountant and he was wearing shoes and he said I think I'm the barefoot accountant and then I roared laughing and I said fuck off and he said I listened to the podcast I think I'm the barefoot accountant and I think you're blind by because obviously I don't wear my plastic bag in the office I wear my human face and not only that he said he'd been listening to the podcast and getting angry about the barefoot accountant without realising he was the barefoot

accountant. So we had a big laugh and he's really sound and we established parameters. He's only going to be barefoot and howling in his office when the door is closed. I told him I didn't really mind the barefoot bit, that's none of my business. It was more the howling bit. But then he said he shouldn't really be barefoot in a communal office space in the first place because of the spread of varrocus. And then I went and googled whether or not you could get varrocus from a fire retardant carpet and there was no results. Because I would like him to continue with the barefoot business if that's what he's into, Just not the howling. So we had a good chuckle. The problem is no more. And he also promised that he wouldn't tell anyone that it's me who's using this office.

It's our little secret now. That he knows it's me in here. Because I don't want cunts knowing that this is my office either, you know. I'm trying to blend in. I'm trying to blend in with all the finance companies. I'd just like everyone to think that I'm a humble fruit importer, which also gives me an excuse to talk about the history of pineapples and bananas whenever I'm in the canteen. And then I also apologised for doing impressions of his voice to a million people. He was grand.

But as the weather improves, I'm going to investigate the possibility of getting up onto the roof so I can smoke some baldy. And who knows? Maybe me and the Barefoot Accountant will smoke bifters on the roof. But I do actually want to thank the Barefoot Accountant because unbeknownst to him, he was actually a great help to us here on this podcast

because this is a monologue podcast. It's a storytelling podcast. And even when you're listening to this podcast and it might sound like I'm just rambling for an hour, I do have structure on this podcast, a storytelling structure. Because if I didn't, you wouldn't have a good podcast. You have to have generally a three-act structure is what I didn't you wouldn't have a good podcast you have to have generally a three act structure is what I go for with any podcast which is very simple set up conflict resolution and once you have that when you're finished listening to the podcast you have that sense of completion a sense that it's over a sense that you've been brought on a journey. That's what storytelling is.

You need to, no matter what you're talking about, try and bring the listener on a journey that has a set up, a sense of conflict, and then a sense of resolution. When I first mentioned the barefoot accountant on this podcast about four weeks ago, and then gave a little update on him, I couldn't help but notice just how people were so fascinated ye listening like you really wanted to know tell us more about the barefoot accountant tell us more now I couldn't understand this at first because ultimately it's just a man with no shoes on who's shouting in the corridor. It's interesting, but what I wanted to know was, why did so many listeners want to know more about the Barefoot Accountant?

And I figured it out. It's because in storytelling, the Barefoot Account accountant is what's known as a threshold guardian. So in most Western storytelling, like you would think of something like Lord of the Rings, generally how a film or a book starts off is you have your central character and they're in a familiar space. This space is safe and normal. Then all of a sudden they're called to an adventure. And when they're called to an adventure, they leave the familiar space and enter unfamiliar space. And this unfamiliar space is usually kind of scary, topsy-turvy, it's chaotic,

it's very different to the space that we're familiar with. But before, or just as they enter this unfamiliar space, they're presented with a threshold guardian. Like in Greek mythology, it's Cerberus, who's this three-headed dog who guards the gates of hell. So if you want to get into hell in Greek mythology you have to defeat Cerberus or if you think of it with something like Lord of the Rings

the film starts off with Frodo and he's in the Shire that place that looks like a golf course with all the other hobbits and they're having a wonderful time and then all of a sudden fucking Gandalf says to Frodo, want to fuck? you have a journey? you have to get the fuck out ofalf says to Frodo man to fuck

you have a journey you have to get the fuck out of here and Frodo's like fuck that I'm not doing it man to fuck so then Frodo and his pals they leave this lovely

golf course area and they go into unfamiliar territory they cross the threshold and I think the first place they arrive in is like a scary woods and when they get to this scary woods

they have their first battle with these wraiths, these ghosts and they have to defeat these ghosts in order to move past that threshold but that's what the barefoot accountant is so my studio where I was normally recording this podcast that was our familiar space we knew that studio I'd recorded 200 and something podcasts there and then all of a sudden I say to you I'm

in an office now and that would have created a sense of anxiety not just in me but in all of you as well it's like what do you mean blind? What do you mean you're recording this in an office now? Is the podcast going to change? I'm comforted by the familiarity of you being in the studio each week. Now you're in an office? And that would have given us all a sense of anxiety. That was the call to adventure. We're in unfamiliar space now.

I'm describing the office to ye. You can tell that it sounds different. This is slightly unsettling. Now also at this point of the journey the central character is usually offered some type of supernatural aid to help them along their journey. This supernatural aid could be a special sword or a weapon. In my case it was these lovely sound panels that I had installed in this office because within this unfamiliar space without these sound panels in here

I wouldn't be able to record this podcast it would sound terrible it would sound like a kitchen but I have these wonderful foam panels placed all around the walls to make the sound almost studio quality so that's our supernatural aid that's like a golden sword that can shoot lightning out of it but then we're here on this journey going oh

fuck okay we're in a new office now this is different but fuck it man you've got the golden sword you've got the sound panels let's go let's just press, let's do it and then the barefoot accountant starts shouting outside the door I can't do it and I can't record there's no way to record because there's this new this barefoot accountant is here being loud so I can't record my podcast because there's this hobbit effectively he's a fucking hobbit, he's like a big hobbit, he's got no shoes on

now we've got this barefoot accountant. Who's howling and roaring. And unless we defeat the barefoot accountant. We're not making a podcast. So unwittingly. This man. Became our archetypal threshold guardian. He became a wraith.

He became a cerberus. He became Cú Chulainn's hound. And I think the reason that all of ye were so interested in him is that we knew that he had to be defeated. We just knew. This person is the threshold guardian. Only when this person is defeated

can the podcast continue. But the beauty of it is I didn't have to engage in battle with him at all. I thought about battle. I thought about booby traps. There was no conflict. The barefoot accountant, through the power of the podcast,

came to me and we resolved it amicably. There was no conflict. So it's almost like the threshold guardian is now like on our side in this podcast. He's the lion in the Wizard of Oz. He's the lion in the Wizard of Oz. And I'm Dorothy. When Dorothy first meets the lion, the lion is all and I'm Dorothy when Dorothy first meets the lion the lion is all like

roar roar roaring and shouting but then I haven't seen that since I was four now but Dorothy and the lion get on with each other and then the lion joins Dorothy on the journey

to Emerald City so that's what we have now except it's not Emerald City. It's me figuring out how I can get onto the roof of the building and smoke joints. And hopefully the barefoot accountant will join me. When the weather gets better. Fuck it I'm not doing that. He'll lose his job.

I'm grand. If I get caught going onto the roof to smoke joints. I'm grand. I just get kicked out of the fucking office. But I don't lose my job. I don't think any of you are going to stop listening to smoke joints I'm grand, I just get kicked out of the fucking office but I don't lose my job I don't think any of you are going to stop listening to the podcast if that happens, so I hope the barefoot accountant is listening

because I didn't want to say it in person because it's not appropriate office talk and then I'm the one, then I'm someone else's barefoot accountant because I'm in the fucking I'm in the corridor roaring and shouting about

roaring and shouting about the structure of mythology and interfering with some poor cunt of a solicitor who's down at the end of the corridor but if I'm Dorothy and then the barefoot accountant is the the lion and we're going to Emerald City

who's the witch? Who's the wicked witch? You know I've seen fucking. I've seen local Fianna Fáil panacean. Willie O'Dea. Walk underneath my window twice. In the past month. So maybe Willie O'Dea.

Is the wicked witch. And I have to throw. I have to throw a mug of piss on him and he melts imagine that in the 6-1 news Willie O'Dea melted in Limerick but this week's episode I wanted this week's episode to be a mental health episode

I'd like to do at least one one mental health episode a month if I can to check in with myself and for ye to help check in with yourselves by listening. I wanted to speak about core beliefs this week. Core beliefs are a concept within psychology. A core belief is we developed them in childhood it's a belief

or an idea or a philosophy that we hold very deeply very strongly and very unconsciously it's a belief about ourself a belief about other people a belief about how the world is and ultimately a belief about ourself, a belief about other people, a belief about how the world is and ultimately a belief about how we should exist in the world and how we should be treated and how we think things should happen for us.

are so strong that they become scripts that we follow. Scripts that we're unconsciously aware of, but we follow this script and sometimes create self-fulfilling prophecies. Think of a core belief as a strong rule about life that we create very very early in our lives unconsciously and this rule will dictate how we should live our life

and it's a bit of a complex subject to talk about but even bringing up The Wizard of Oz there especially the fucking lion in The Wizard of Oz it makes me realise that the film The Wizard of Oz

is kind of about core beliefs fucking lying in The Wizard of Oz, it makes me realise that, the film The Wizard of Oz, is kind of about, core beliefs, so I might talk about, core beliefs, how to interrogate them, how to understand them, and how to challenge them,

via The Wizard of Oz, before we do that, let's have, a little ocarina pause, because, I feel a hot take coming on on and I don't want to interrupt myself. I'm feeling inspired by this concept of explaining core beliefs via The Wizard of Oz. So let's have a small little ocarina pause. I have my ocarina. The ocarina is back. I did it last week and I realized how beautiful it was. So I'm going to continue with the ocarina. You might hear an advert for something. is back. I did it last week and I realized how beautiful it was. So I'm going to continue

with the ocarina. You might hear an advert for something. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now

for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock host the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. On April 5th, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth birth bad things will start to happen evil things of evil it's all for you no no don't the first omen i believe

girl is to be the mother mother of what is the most terrifying 666 it's the mark of the devil movie of the year it's not real it's not real it's not real. It's not real. What's not real? Who said that? The First Omen. Only in theaters April 5th. That was the ocarina. That was the ocarina. That was the ocarina pause. You would have heard a digitally inserted advert there. Apologies to all the dogs that I disturbed last week. There were so many people on Instagram

sending me videos of their dogs as soon as the ocarina pause came on. Dogs doing that sideways head thing where they're trying to make sense of reality because it's a high-pitched noise. Support for this podcast comes from you, the listener, via the Patreon page, patreon.com forward slash theblindbypodcast. This podcast is my full-time job. This podcast is how I earn a living.

This podcast is only possible because it's my full-time job. This podcast is how I earn a living. This podcast is only possible because it's my full-time job. It's a monologue podcast, as I mentioned. Monologue essay, which is quite a huge amount of research and work to put together. And I adore this work. I love doing this work so much. It gives me a great sense of meaning. But if you're enjoying it, if it brings you comfort entertainment happiness if it gives you that little hour of peace in your week please consider paying me for that work that

i'm doing and all i'm looking for is the price of a pint or the price of a cup of coffee once a month that's it and then you get four monologue essay podcasts a month i understand everyone's freaking out now about the fucking they're heating bills at the moment um but what i would ask is yeah just think of one cup of coffee or one pint that you might have this month and say to yourself if i met blind boy in real life would i buy him a coffee would I buy him a pint but if the answer is yes please do so we can keep this podcast going but if you can't if you can't afford it if you don't have that if that's not possible don't worry about it because the person who can afford it is paying for you to listen for free so everybody gets a podcast I get to earn a living. It's a wonderful model based on soundness and kindness.

Also, the Patreon keeps this podcast independent. I'm not beholden to any advertisers. The podcasting space is becoming very corporate in general. Advertisers are stepping in. Big corporate podcasts are stepping in. And quality is being reduced. So small independent podcasts like mine which i define as a podcast with one or two people where the person is making something

that they're genuinely fucking passionate about and putting out work that they're putting out because they care about it that's what podcasts are about at the end of the day it's not radio it's not just pure commercial entertainment it's podcasting so by supporting the patreon that's what you're doing i can tell advertisers to fuck off if they want to advertise on my podcast to do it on my terms no advertiser can tell me what to speak about what not to speak about or adjust my content in any way if I was reliant upon the guns that's what would be happening and then I wouldn't be making a podcast, I'd be making radio

patreon.com forward slash the blind boy podcast I'm going to be back on Twitch this week I was off Twitch for the past two weeks because I was working on Thursday nights but I'm back on Twitch this Thursday night at half eight doing my never-ending video game musical which I adore

doing which I love doing twitch.com forward slash the blind boy podcast support all independent podcasts leave a review rate the podcast Share it on your social media. Now, let's try and speak about core beliefs. The psychology of core beliefs. Via the story of the Wizard of Oz. So I'm going to focus on negative core beliefs. Rather than positive core beliefs. Because there can be both negative and positive core beliefs. So a core belief is a very strongly, deeply held opinion

about ourself, other people and the world. They tend to be quite rigid and they tend to be so deeply rooted in the tapestry of our experience of being alive and our experience of thinking. So deeply rooted in there. We don't know when a core belief is guiding us or guiding our decisions or guiding how we feel about ourselves or other people or what we do. So first let's look at the most basic reading of

the narrative of The Wizard of Oz, right? I'm going to take a lot of elements out of it and strip it down to a very basic version. The main character in The Wizard of Oz is a girl called Dorothy. And The Wizard of Oz starts in Dorothy's home. She's happy. She's having crack what her dog told her. Dorothy's home and the fields around her house. This is our familiar environment

then suddenly there's a tornado chaos happens the house is blown away Dorothy and Toto are in it and she lands in the land of Oz she's crashed into unfamiliar anxious territory Dorothy now wants to go home. She wants to return to the safe,

calm, happy life she had. She doesn't want to be in Oz anymore. She wants to return home. She's told to follow the yellow brick road, go to Emerald City, meet the wizard and the wizard will help her get home. But as Dorothy embarks on this journey to get to the Emerald City, to get to the wizard, effectively to return home, she meets three threshold guardians. The first guardian that she meets is a scarecrow. But Dorothy doesn't fight the scarecrow, she helps him.

And then she finds out that the scarecrow doesn't have a brain. The scarecrow thinks that he's stupid. And she says to him, come on the fuck. Let's go meet the wizard and the wizard's going to give you a brain. Then she meets a tin man. And at first she's afraid, but she doesn't fight the tin man. man. And at first she's afraid, but she doesn't fight the tin man. She helps him. And then the tin man says, I'm a tin man, but I don't have a heart. I can't feel anything. Dorothy says, month of fuck. Come on with me and the scarecrow. We're going to Emerald City. The wizard will give you a heart. And then they meet the lion. And the lion, like I mentioned earlier, at first the lion is all fierce. He wants to scrap.

He wants to fight Dorothy and the scarecrow and the tin man and the little dog Toto. But then Dorothy helps the lion and the lion says, I'm not hard at all. I'm only pretending. What I'm looking for is courage. So then Dorothy says, Montefoc, let's go to Emerald City

and the wizard is going to give you courage so let's speak about the core beliefs that the three of these characters have and this is why I think the Wizard of Oz is such a beautiful timeless story because what it's about is the human journey through suffering it's about becoming a person that's what the film is about so the first threshold guardian that Dorothy meets is the

scarecrow right and she goes up to him she has a chat with him and she finds out what his issue is. And the scarecrow says, this is a quote, I am a failure because I haven't got a brain. And that right there is a core belief. Okay, that is a core belief. What the scarecrow is saying there is, I'm stupid. I'm thick. I am dumb.

I'm defective. I'm flawed. Those are the scarecrow's beliefs about himself. Now what would the scarecrow's beliefs be about other people? Other people are smarter than I am. Other people are better than I am. Other people don't want to be around me or don't want to spend time with me because I'm so stupid. Now what are the scarecrow's beliefs about the world? The world is designed for smart people.

And I'm stupid. So I'm going to fail in this world. I will fuck up. I won't succeed. I won't survive. I won't cope. I won't be capable. Because fundamentally I'm broken.

So what you have there is a negative core belief that the scarecrow has about himself regarding his intelligence or his capacity to cope or be capable in any way as a human being. Now why does the scarecrow think this about himself? Well maybe that scarecrow had parents who called him stupid when he was a kid. Maybe that scarecrow is neurodivergent in some way, maybe the scarecrow has got dyslexia or has got dyscalculia and because of these reasons an adult who didn't have empathy or didn't understand the scarecrow called that scarecrow stupid because they couldn't do maths.

That's something that happened to me from a very young age. I was quite poor with numbers, couldn't read or understand numbers from a very young age and was told that I was stupid by teachers. I have a brother with dyslexia, has similar difficulty around words,

incredibly intelligent person, fantastic artist, was told that he was absolutely stupid since he was a child and again to quote the scarecrow in the fucking film The Wizard of Oz I'm a failure because I haven't got a brain now if you think of

so this is the core belief that this scarecrow is holding this deeply held core belief I'm stupid, I'm defective the world is designed for people that are smart so therefore I can't really survive in this world what's going to happen to that scarecrow's mental health well that scarecrow is going to have an incredibly low self-esteem

the scarecrow's sense of self-worth will be nothing the scarecrow will fear intimacy with another person the scarecrow won't because the scarecrow will fear intimacy with another person the scarecrow won't because the scarecrow's belief of himself is I am stupid, I am defective

I cannot operate effectively in this world and as a result the scarecrow's self-esteem is so low that scarecrow now won't seek out love won't seek out friendship or companionship because it doesn't believe himself to be worthy enough to even have that from another

person. The scarecrow might give up. If the scarecrow has a belief about the world that the world is built for people who are smart and the scarecrow believes that he is dumb then the scarecrow won't try also, if you're like the scarecrow yourself if at a young age

someone was mean to you about your intelligence or your capacity to function or to be the same as the other kids and you receive this core belief of I'm not that smart I'm not that effective you will also you'll view the world through a lens that only confirms this belief about yourself this is the shitty thing about core beliefs we search for information in our environment and with other people that confirm these core beliefs. Rarely do we search for information that challenges the core belief.

So here's a common one with people who believe themselves to be stupid. People who think they're not that smart. So people who have a belief about themselves that they're not smart, social situations can be quite threatening. They're terrified of saying something that they consider to be dumb. Now here are the facts. All of us, quite frequently, say things that might be factually incorrect say things

that might seem silly say things that might be ditzy say things that might cause other people to laugh and make other people go oh for fuck's sake you don't really believe that do you all of us do this frequently because all of us

are fallible human beings. Nobody is smart all the time. But if you're somebody who has a core belief that you're stupid, that you're thick, whenever you say something that's a bit silly or factually incorrect, you will only focus on that. You won't focus on the rest of the conversation, which was absolutely fine and factual and informative and interesting. You will only focus on that one mistake,

ignore everything else, and use that as evidence to confirm, I am a stupid fucking cunt. If you go and do your driver theory test and you fail it, which is common. Most people fail their fucking driver theory tests first time. Not a lot of people get their driver theory test in one go. It's quite frequent to need to do it a second time.

But if you're somebody who is of the belief that you're thick or dumb or defective, when you fail your driver theory test the first time, you'll feel terrible. You will use it as evidence to confirm to yourself, I'm thick and that's why I failed that driver theory test. Whereas the person who doesn't believe themselves to be utterly stupid, they won't. They'll just go, oh, what a shame. I failed the driver theory test. That's inconvenient. I better try it again. Now, one thing too, I'm really throwing around words like thick and dumb here. And the reason I'm doing that is because I'm trying to place things into the language of a person who has this type of core belief. I genuinely don't believe that thick or dumb exists.

When you meet a person who's a bit ditzy or you meet a person who doesn't consider themselves to be smart, I don't think that's as a result of a profound lack of intelligence. I think it's much more of an emotional thing. People who don't consider themselves to be smart avoid expressing opinions. Doesn't mean they don't have opinions.

Doesn't mean they don't have critique or analysis. They avoid expressing these opinions because to them the threat of public shaming is so great that they simply don't. Also, if like the scarecrow your core belief is I am stupid and your self-esteem is in tatters because you believe yourself to be stupid, a huge amount of your day is going to be spent

preventing yourself from being exposed in other people's eyes. So what happens now is anxiety comes in whenever anything that you consider to be intelligent behaviour presents itself. Prime example, if you're someone who was told that you were stupid or whatever when you were a kid and then you started to believe that you were stupid in school do you remember the moment in school when the teacher would ask you to read? Do you remember that? We'd all have our books out in front of us and the teacher would say

you read this page, you read that page. Well the kid who believes themselves to be stupid gets anxiety at that point because now they're being asked to perform in a task that we, that society considers to be intelligent. So the kid who's now asked to read, and this kid has a core belief that they're stupid, as soon as they now have to read, their anxiety kicks in. Now anxiety is kicking in, they're not relaxed. They're not using all of their brains, they're not using their critical faculties. And what happens? They either freeze or they make several mistakes. Because they're now not being asked to simply read

a page like the other kids they're being asked to read a page while their anxiety is incredibly high then what happens they make fuck-ups they make another fuck-up they hear another kid laughing now they're hugely aware that reading is difficult and the whole thing gets internalized as of course I fucked up I'm stupid this is my core belief about myself I am an idiot now is that kid fucking up those mistakes on the page because they're stupid because they're dumb no they may have a they may have something like dyslexia where reading is difficult. Or all of us behave in ways that are considered dumb when we're in a highly emotional state. When we're in the heightened state of anxiety, our brains only look for threats.

Our adrenaline is triggered. The primitive part of our brain wants to do three things. Run away, freeze or fight. It's not thinking about syllables or vowels or how to read the words on the page. So often when you speak to a person and you might think to yourself, Jesus, they're a bit thick, are they? In my experience, that's not the case. The person believes themselves, has a core belief that they are dumb and gets incredibly anxious around anything which they consider to be a performance of intelligence

and then they engage in a self-fulfilling prophecy which is a vicious cycle. It's a script that they follow that's a core belief so that's the scarecrow the scarecrow and the wizard of Oz I need to go to the wizard and he's going to put a brain in my head but the brain is there all along so let's

what would the scarecrow do to tackle the negative core belief that the scarecrow has about himself of I am stupid well I most certainly have a negative core belief about myself and maths. Now, I'm very poor with numbers.

This is an objective truth. I most likely have dyscalculia. I've difficulty counting. Throughout school, I was frequently told that I was stupid because of this. Now I am poor at maths, but I'm not as poor as I sometimes perform. So I struggled greatly with numbers, but I wasn't as bad as I performed in school. Like I did foundation maths for the Leaving Cert, lads. I was the only person in the school to do foundation maths. Foundation maths.

Even if you pass foundation maths, you fail it. And I still didn't pass it. Now, I could have done at the very least pass maths, and I could have passed it. But at a young age, teachers just told me I was thick and teachers gave up and teachers stopped. Like I'm talking four or five years of age, teachers just stopped trying to teach me maths and told me not to bother and told me I was stupid. So I developed a belief about myself that I was stupid and that I couldn't count, that I couldn't do maths. And I was met with frequent humiliation like one of the most humiliating

things around maths happened for me in leaving cert year the first one was I realized that oh fuck okay I'm doing foundation maths I want to at least try something. And at the age of 17, I had to go into the bookshop where they sold all the school books and I asked them for times tables. Now times tables are shit that you have when you're 6 or 7 years of age but I didn't know my times tables.

And at 17 I was so far behind that that's where I needed to go. I needed to at the very least learn my times tables. And I thought that would help with my confidence. And when I went to the fucking shop. To look for the times tables. The woman thought I was joking. Like she almost wouldn't serve me.

Because she's like you're 17 you want your times tables. And I'm like yeah. And she laughed at me. And the most humiliating thing of all. Was when I was actually in the fucking leaving cert exam. Now I failed my leaving cert. I failed all of my leaving cert. When I was in the leaving cert exam.

For fucking foundation maths. I'm in this giant hall. Everyone's doing maths. Right. Everyone's doing their mats paper for the leave insert everyone knew I was doing foundation because that

spreads that word spreads did you hear about the one fella who was doing foundation he must be thick the foundation mats paper is a different colour everyone's real

fucking curious what does a foundation mats paper even look like, oh my god, I can't believe he's doing it, all of those eyes on me, during the exam, everyone looking,

going look at that, look at him, he's standing, I can't believe he's doing foundation maths, I felt all of that, and I felt it tenfold, because this was also my worst fear. I'm now being exposed so my core belief that I learned since I was three or four you're thick, you can't count, you can't add,

you can't multiply. Like I used to be able to do long division. I was behind everybody but I was still doing the things I was meant to do just at a different pace but then some fucking teacher would call me thick or some other student would giggle or laugh because of a maths mistake I made that to them seemed obvious and I'd give up and this all leads towards me doing foundation fucking maths in the Leaving Cert, not because of my brain, but because of the emotions around it and my beliefs around it, my core beliefs. So I'm in the Leaving Cert hall and I am experiencing intense panic and dread. So now this task, which is already difficult, is fucking impossible because I'm having a

panic attack. And then what happens any part of me that wanted to at least try and do well for myself in this foundation maths exam forget about it it was gone it was done I answered two

questions and I left the leave and start maths exam so early that the whole place. Started laughing. And it felt like shit. Because the thing was. Is that I was a class clown. So normally.

Getting everybody laughing. In a hall. Felt amazing for me. But this one last time. The fucking Leaving Cert. It felt like shit. And then the fucking principal. Looked at me.

Like I did it deliberately. just for a fucking joke. But the point I'm making. My brain could have passed. Past maths. I couldn't have done honours maths. That's fair enough. It's okay to accept limitations. But it was my core belief of.

I am thick. I am stupid. I can't do numbers. That's what had me ultimately fail terribly. That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. And to this day, like one of the fucking most wonderful things about the pandemic is cash isn't much of a thing anymore. Now that's me being selfish.

It's a good thing for me with my maths anxiety. But I don't like the concept of a cashless society. It's incredibly classist. It impacts the most marginalised people who mightn't have bank accounts. It means that people who work in the service industry are less likely to get cash tips. I don't want a cashless society.

To this day, lads, if I'm at a cash register and I have to count change, I get intense anxiety. Anxiety's so intense, I can't count the change. Now, I can count change. I get intense anxiety. Anxiety's so intense. I can't count the change. Now I can count change. I absolutely can.

It will take me a little bit longer. Than most people. But I can do it. But once that anxiety kicks in. I fucking can't. And I just leave. Like I'd love to. Throughout my life I've probably.

Given a few hundred euros. by just throwing change and running away from the cash register. But what do I do to tackle this particular issue that I have? And what could the scarecrow do? So, mindfulness is a huge part. So when I find myself in a situation where I'm at a cash register, which is particularly triggering, and I have to count change, I catch myself in the moment. And I say to myself, accept your fallibility. Yeah, I'm not the best at counting change. I can do it. I'm just not as quick as other people at it. But I challenge all the faulty beliefs that come into my head in that moment.

So because I spent my life being told that I'm stupid when it comes to maths, and because this impacted my self-esteem and my sense of identity, that then, because it threatens my identity, it heightens my anxiety. So I understand that when I'm at a cash register ready to count change my threat analysis is very high I start projecting things into people around me so when I'm at the cash register and the cashier is there I assume uh-oh this person can this person knows that I'm stupid with maths

and this person is going to shame me like the teachers did and this person is going to tell everyone around them look at this person look at him he can't fucking count his money and then I think about the person behind me in the queue and I think if I just take a little

if I'm too long with this the person behind me is going to start shaming me. The person behind me is going to laugh at me. Everybody is going to point and laugh at this stupid fucking cunt who can't count his change. And now everyone's going to notice that my face has gone pure red. So I don't have evidence for any of these positions. These are as a result of my negative core belief I have no evidence that the person at the cash register

gives a fuck if I take an extra 20 seconds or 30 seconds to count my change the person behind me they're going to have to wait a little bit longer so I can count my change because you know what? Counting my change is part of doing my business up at the cash register.

And everybody is entitled to count their change and make sure they have everything before they fucking leave. That's something I'm entitled to. So if someone behind me has a problem with it, that's their fucking problem. That's their problem. It has nothing to do with me. And then I breathe. And that's part fucking problem that's their problem it has nothing to do with me and then I breathe and that's part of the mindfulness I make sure that when I'm in an emotionally triggering situation

like counting cash I breathe in through my nose I feel that breath going to my belly so I'm getting all that oxygen into my brain and once I do that the anxiety gets lowered and now I'm counting my change and all it is is an extra 10 seconds that's all it is about 10 seconds longer than someone who doesn't

have an issue with maths and what I say to myself is I have self-compassion maths is not a strength of mine I know this it's okay me not being good at maths does not reflect my worth as a human being in any way. Me not being good at maths doesn't mean I can't be kind to other people. It doesn't mean I can't rub a dog, love an animal. Me not being good at maths doesn't mean I can't feed my little cats and make their day happy that they're getting food and safe and warm. I'm a fallible human being and being not that good at maths is only one aspect of my behaviour and it does not define my worth as a human being in any way because I have intrinsic worth and no aspect of my behaviour can define my worth as a human being. And I also look at the positives, can define my worth as a human being and I also look at the positives

right I'm shit with numbers like I've difficulty reading clocks and stuff, I'm shit with numbers but however I'm a multi-instrumentalist musician and I understand music on a very complex and deep level

and music is maths music is symmetrical vibrations of air. So I do understand maths, deeply, intimately. I just don't understand the language of arithmetic, maths when it's written down. But I do understand maths when it's abstract vibrations of symmetrical air. So that there is me challenging a deeply held core belief through self-compassion and through self-understanding

and through self-forgiveness and mindfulness. So back to the Wizard of Oz. So the Scarecrow has a core belief a negative core belief that he's stupid right and then it turns out he's not stupid he had a brain on a lung

this is a negative core belief the character of Dorothy she has the most unique journey of all the characters in the Wizard of Oz the scarecrow wants a brain the tin man wants a heart, the Lion wants courage, but

Dorothy wants to go home. But the thing is with Dorothy, Dorothy is the one that helps the other three characters to get what they need. Dorothy wants to go on the yellow brick road so that she can return home. Now the beauty of the wizard of oz is that everything is like one complete human all of us want intelligence all of us want a heart which is kindness and all of us want a sense of courage a sense of assertiveness the thing with Dorothy is she is she is our journey to getting there Dorothy is what's called our actualizing tendency our tendency to self-actualize to move towards the best version of ourselves that we can be if we just learn the right tools. And Dorothy on her journey has to encounter the inevitable suffering of just being alive.

The inevitable tribulations, trials, obstacles and conflict that are simply part of being alive and overcoming them so that we can achieve a sense of meaning. But when Dorothy wants to return home, what I think that means is she wants self-acceptance. She wants, like we're born into this world

as happy happy smiling babies smiling happy babies and all we want is food and love that's it our most basic needs and babies don't think about

being less than other babies or better than other babies babies aren't greedy they don't want more Think about being less than other babies or better than other babies. Babies aren't greedy. They don't want more. Babies just want to meet their immediate needs. And a baby who's well looked after is content and happy. So Dorothy wants to return to that.

She wants self-acceptance, calmness and happiness. She wants her intrinsic worth. The central character of The Wizard of Oz isn't Dorothy or the lion or the scarecrow or the tin man. The central character is you. It's me. It's the person fucking watching. That's what makes it such a beautiful film. The Wizard of Oz is about the journey of life and self-actualisation. And Dorothy is the part of ourselves that wants that. And then the three characters are like

the compartmentalised struggles that we have, the obstacles that we face within ourselves to achieve self-acceptance, calmness and happiness and meaning. There's no place like home. That's Dorothy's mantra throughout the film. There's no place like home. And what that means on a psychological level is a sense of safety. And what I mean there is internal safety.

And internal safety comes from self-acceptance and living in the here and now and having a sense of meaning. That's internal safety. Feeling unsafe internally is when you're worried about shit that happened in the past or you're worried about shit that might happen in the future. When you think that way you're not you don't experience life as feeling safe

you might actually have a home you might have a full belly you might have money but if you're worrying about the future or worrying about the past and not living in the here and now you don't experience an internal sense of safety

calm and happiness and that's what Dorothy's journey is about. That's the fucking film is about. So let's look at the negative core belief that the Tin Man has. So Dorothy first meets the Scarecrow. We spoke about him and his psychological issues. He believes himself to be stupid, falsely. That's his core belief. What is the core belief of the Tin Man so Dorothy meets the Tin Man and it turns out that the Tin Man doesn't have a heart and the Tin Man says

and I quote just because I'm presuming that I could be kind and human if I only had a heart so the Tin Man's negative core belief is I am unlovable why does the Tin Man's negative core belief is, I am unlovable. Why does the Tin Man believe that about himself?

Maybe the Tin Man's parents were busy when he was a tiny little baby. And when the Tin Man went looking for love and hugs and cuddles, he didn't get it. And because the Tin Man was a little baby, he didn't understand that his ma might be really busy, or his da's stressed. Or he didn't understand maybe that maybe one of his parents had addiction issues, and they weren't in a position to give love. But because the Tin Man was a little baby, he blamed himself,

and he learned the core belief of I am unlovable I'm not worthy of other people's love I'm incapable of offering love to another person because I can't experience love I'm cold I'm heartless

I'm mean but then the Tin Man tries to seek love he gets himself a girlfriend how does he behave with his girlfriend? Well, he's really, really jealous. Because the thing is that the Tin Man does not believe that he is lovable. He doesn't believe himself to be worthy of love.

So when he doesn't believe himself to be worthy of love, if someone comes along and wants to have a relationship with him, he treats that with suspicion. What do they really want? They don't love me. I'm not, no one can love me. I'm unlovable. They want to leave me.

So now he's excessively jealous. And he's accusing his girlfriend of cheating on him or accusing his girlfriend of being attracted to other people. He's insecure. him or accusing his girlfriend of being attracted to other people. He's insecure. When his girlfriend tries to give him love, he pushes her away because he doesn't believe himself to be worthy of love. He replaces it instead with jealousy. Girlfriend has tried her best and then she leaves because she can't put up with it anymore. And then the tin man says to himself, ah, of course she left me, And then the Tin Man says to himself, ah, of course she left me, I'm unlovable. I knew that was going to happen.

But it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Tin Man doesn't believe. At his core, he has a very, very strong, deeply held belief that he is unlovable, that other people won't love him, and that the world itself contains love but not for him. So he lives his life with consistent threat analysis only finding evidence of when his girlfriend is checking out another fella or anytime she looks at her phone he immediately assumes that she must be texting someone else but then anytime she gave him a hug anytime she gave him a compliment anytime she gave him a kiss

or looked at him with adoration or attraction he negated all that, he took no notice of that none, because it doesn't fit with his core belief and only focused on the threat analysis of He took no notice of that. None. Because it doesn't fit with his core belief. And only focused on the threat analysis of she doesn't love me because I'm incapable of love and she wants to reject me. And now the tin man is alone because he won't let anyone in. But he doesn't see it like that.

He sees himself as being alone because he's deserving of being alone. So the core belief has created a self-fulfilling prophecy. He's unable to see that the concept of someone being unlovable, that doesn't exist. Every single human being is deserving of love because every single human being has intrinsic worth and value. Everyone is deserving of love. Everybody. Everybody is deserving of love and deserves to love someone else because we all have equal intrinsic worth. But if the tin man believes himself to be utterly unlovable then he won't see that the problem isn't that he's actually unlovable.

The problem is, if you think this way, you will create this world for yourself. You will create the circumstances and environment whereby you're being rejected because you're pushing people away. So what would the Tin Man do to try and challenge this? Well, I'm going to make it really, really basic. I'm not going to give it the time that it really deserves because it's complex but if the tin man was in therapy or if the tin man just wanted to go on his own journey

it would be about self-acceptance it would be about focusing on intrinsic worth I'm better than nobody else nobody else is better than me because humans are too complex to evaluate against each other. We all have intrinsic worth. And what is that intrinsic worth that I mentioned so often? It's what you're born with when you're a baby.

All babies are born with this wonderful, fantastic, incredible glow. All babies are incredible. When you see a baby, you smile. You can't compare one baby to another. Every baby is fucking amazing. Every single baby. Equal amounts of fucking incredible light up the room. Every baby.

All of us were babies. We were all born with that. That's our intrinsic worth. Then you get to be a little bit older. Two, three, four, five. You go to school. You start to compare yourself to other people. You get hurt.

Hurt turns into anger. We start to develop shields and armour around ourselves. And that takes us away from our sense of intrinsic worth. And it means that the wonderful intrinsic worth that lights up a room when you're a tiny baby. You cover it with an angry scowl or you cover it with anxiety. You cover it with defence mechanisms and now it doesn't shine as bright. But it's still fucking there. So the tin man needs to go and learn to love his inner child.

When he was a little child he didn't receive love from his parents. So he needs to go within himself to find that little child within himself and he needs to hug himself and he needs to also have compassion for the people who were supposed to love him but didn't he needs to realise no matter how shitty they were being

that was them doing their best at that point and I'm now an adult and yes little babies do need that love from a parent a little baby really needs that adults don't adults can love themselves adults can we as adults can love, hug and embrace and accept ourselves the way that a parent would when we were babies we can do that as adults so that would be the journey that the Tin Man has to go on like I said I've simplified it down there a lot

but ultimately self-compassion, self-acceptance and also having awareness around things like his jealousy, searching for evidence that he's being rejected and looking at aspects of his behaviour where he's seeking rejection to confirm his negative core belief that he's unlovable. Now what about the line, the cowardly line?

Now what's interesting there is in the transition of how those characters unfold in the Wizard of Oz so Dorothy's going on the journey she first meets the fucking scarecrow scarecrow believes himself to be dumb he doesn't have a brain

then she meets the tin man doesn't have a heart and then finally she meets the lion who doesn't have a heart. And then finally she meets the lion who doesn't have courage. I would replace courage there with assertiveness. Assertiveness means being able to stand up for yourself. Assertiveness is the healthy expression of anger and confidence. And in order to have assertiveness, you first have to have the criticality,

so the intelligence, so that's what the scarecrow wants. You have to have the criticality and intelligence to understand conflict. You have to be able to have the self-acceptance and self-love to believe that you are worthy to stand up for yourself and those two things together will give you assertiveness and that's the lovely thing about that narrative in the story ultimately what the cowardly lion is looking for there is

the cowardly lion understands that conflict is a necessary part of being alive which it is. If you are a human being you're going to experience conflict with other human beings quite a bit. Not only with other human beings you're going to experience conflict within yourself so conflict is an unavoidable element of suffering in the tapestry of existence. But there's a healthy way to manage conflict and an unhealthy way to manage conflict. The healthy way to manage conflict is assertiveness. Now in order to be assertive though you need to understand when you are genuinely being wronged and when you yourself are genuinely wrong. Only when you fully understand these things can you be assertive. Also to be assertive you have

to love yourself. You have to believe that you are someone worth standing up for. So you need a brain and a brain there for me is an intelligence. A brain just means criticality. You get criticality when you're calm. If you're anxious, if you're in threat analysis, then you're not calm. So if you're an anxious person, it's very difficult to be assertive when conflict presents itself. Because what will happen is you will assess unnecessarily overestimate the threat of the conflict and you'll either withdraw or start attacking but when you're calm there's no threat you just simply say right me and this other person disagree on something how do we best find a solution here that benefits us both and it's not about protecting

your ego it's not about a wounded sense of self-esteem it's literally me and another person have a disagreement here how can we both arrive at a solution that benefits the two of us that's the foundation basis of assertiveness there. And then you have to know, what are my needs right now? In this situation of conflict where me and this other person disagree, what outcome here is actually fair for me?

What do I actually deserve here? What am I entitled to? And what are they entitled to? And what do they deserve? And in order to and what are they entitled to and what do they deserve and in order to understand what your entitlements are and what you deserve you have to love yourself because if you don't love yourself and you don't and you have a poor opinion of yourself you'll underestimate what you deserve or you'll underestimate what you're entitled to so when Dorothy first meets that lion, right? The lion is being an absolute fucking prick. The lion immediately, so Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, they meet the lion.

He doesn't even want to talk. He puffs himself up. He starts screaming and roaring, threatening everybody, making everybody know I am the big man here and I'm not to be fucked with. He's unnecessarily aggressive. He's behaving like a bully. And then Dorothy hits him a quick slap and very quickly he realises that he starts whimpering. That it was all bullshit. Bark is worse than his bite. And he says I'm a coward. All I want is to have a bit of courage.

So what is the lion's core belief? The lion's core belief is other people are aggressive. That lion probably grew up in a household. Where one of his parents had a very short temper. And that lion never learned any type of healthy conflict resolution. That lion would have learned that any conflict meant explosive anger. So even though the lion there appears to be comfortable with tantrum style behavior and making threats and bullying and shouting and screaming all this aggressive behavior even though the the lion there actually appears to be quite comfortable with conflict that lion is terrified of conflict so utterly

terrified that he immediately explodes into a type of extreme display of anger so that the other party doesn't even attempt conflict with him because he doesn't understand healthy conflict so what that line really wants

is when someone disagrees with me I want to be able to let that person know what my needs are Is when someone disagrees with me. I want to be able to let that person know what my needs are. I want to be able to resolve the issue. Without being terrified. Because that's the thing. If you know someone.

And their immediate reaction. Towards any conflict. is explosive anger. Whether by throwing something, hurling insults, raising their voice. If that's their first line every time, then that person's actually terrified. That person's scared. It's not pleasant for them to be like that. Even though it is anger right

they're actually terrified and the anger is masking the terror what they don't have the tools for is to sit down and disagree in a calm way here are my needs what are your needs

we seem to have a an issue here how can we both speak about our needs so that both of us are happy that's assertiveness right there when you explode that's an that's ego-based that's about personal heart it's i am heart or I'm trying to prevent you from wounding or hurting me more. But with healthy conflict resolution, assertiveness, heart often isn't present. What it's about is how can we each meet our needs here rather than one person winning. Unhealthy conflict tends to be about winning and losing. I need to win this argument. You see it with fucking neighbours and trees.

That cunt's fucking tree is in my garden. He must chop it down. I can't let him win. What if you talk about it? What if the tree is still there but ye both agree that he's gonna keep an eye on how it's cut so that he gets to keep his tree

but it doesn't unnecessarily encroach on your property so both of ye actually get what you want here no I need to fucking win the tree needs to go. So that's unhealthy conflict. That's not about the tree. That's about the illusion of winning or losing. That's about self-esteem.

So if that lion has a core belief of other people are aggressive and I need to attack them first before they attack me because I'm afraid of conflict, what would he need to do to address his negative core belief there? Well, the first thing he'd do is obviously mindful self-acceptance. When that lion finds himself in a situation where conflict arises, he would learn in that moment,

right, this is a triggering situation for me. Uh-oh, we've got conflict here and just like me when I'm at the fucking counter, counting my change, and I have to be mindful that this is a triggering situation for me the line has to go

uh oh, someone's after going into my parking space I better be mindful right now or I'm going to start screaming and beeping my horn. And having a red face. And looking like a silly boy. In the car park of Dunn's. So.

The lion would learn to breathe. Deep breaths. Check in with his body. What am I feeling? I'm noticing anger here. Okay. How can we keep this anger from taking control, I don't want to get emotional here to the point that I feel like I lose control, that's the first thing he did, and the second thing the lion would do is, most likely in that

moment of anger, the lion has an incredibly rigid belief that the other person is definitely wrong they are 100% fucking wrong what the lion should do is consider even though it appears that the person might be wrong i need to try and see things from their point of view maybe they might be a little bit right or from their point of view they do think they're right maybe I should start thinking that way from an empathy point of view rather than thinking this fucking cunt broke one of my rules and let's just say it is about the parking space now the lion wants the parking space and the other person wants the parking space as well maybe the lion could get out speak to the person about the parking space and say to them

look these are my needs here I really really need this parking space I've got diarrhoea I need to go into the pharmacy and get diarrhoea medication really quickly and the other person might say do you know what I can get a different parking space I don't have the shits

so now the lion gets the parking space because he needs it most. And it's not about winning or losing. It's about each of their actual needs. But if the lion had gone out of the car and went beep, beep, beep, rah, rah, rah, you stupid prick. He's not going to get that parking space. He's not going to have his needs met. He's not going to get what he wants because now his anger has triggered the other person's anger. Now it's no longer about a parking space. It's about who wins and who loses.

Because feelings are hurt. But. By remaining calm. Thinking that. Maybe the other person didn't deliberately intend to cut him off. Maybe the other person also has needs. By using empathy. By doing that and then calming himself to the point that he's able to express his needs to the other person now the

lion has engaged in conflict and resolved the issue and met his needs and even better as soon as it's over and this is the beauty of assertiveness versus aggressiveness, when you engage in conflict with a person in an assertive way, so it's not about winning or losing, it's about meeting the needs of the situation. nice and you don't spend the rest of the day fantasizing about the argument that you could have won because that's what would have happened to Lyon if he was in his car going rah rah rah he wouldn't have gotten into the chemist for his diarrhea medication he might have had a terrible situation trying to find a jacks and then he'd spend the rest of the day fantasizing and thinking about how he could have won the argument or punching walls and getting pissed off and snapping at every single person around him

who he loves because he's still carrying around the anger from the person earlier on with the parking space I'm aware of course that this version of the line deviates heavily from the actual script of the film The Wizard of Oz

but this is a different one, this is our line it's the same line, we've just written him a new script this is this is the line in the car park of Dunn's and he's got diarrhea and he's trying to reach Emerald Shady that's my little neurodivergent alarm clock what that is there is

like I mentioned earlier, I have great difficulty reading numbers and reading clocks. So I don't read clocks anymore. I got myself a little timer for when I'm working. And instead of having, it's a clock, but instead of numbers, it's the color blue. So I don't look at how much time I have left. I look at how much blue I have left. And that's something constructive that I've done to address my core belief about being poor at maths. I make my environment work for me rather than fighting against the environment. So that was my podcast about core beliefs via the Wizard of Oz. Please consider coming to my live podcast next week in Vicar Street on the 12th of April. And if you enjoyed this podcast, please consider becoming a patron,

patreon.com forward slash theblindboypodcast. God bless everyone. I'll be back next week with a little hot take. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats

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