The Blindboy Podcast - The Devils Bedframe

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

I answer listener questions Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hang your head from the devil's bed frame, you careful Jasons. Welcome to the Blind Buy Podcast. If this is your first episode, please consider going back to an earlier episode to familiarise yourself with the lore of this podcast. It's an overcast day, the sky is bland, the colour of magnolia paint, but the days are longer, and there's a stronger light peeking through and the air smells differently

doesn't smell like spring yet but it smells like we've definitely left winter we've had a mild February so far usually February is quite angry quite overcast and quite windy but it's been quite mild but I've heard it's about to get cunty. The beast from the east too they're calling it.

So there'll be an extreme cold front with lots of snow apparently. I'm going to have to parto next week. Parto over in Portugal. I'm working on some TV stuff that I can't give any details about at the moment. But it's being commissioned over in England. And it needs to move from the ideas stage into the writing stage. To get a first draft of a script done. That usually takes about four days in a writer's room.

And me and the other person who's writing this. Just said instead of doing it over in London. Why don't we just go to a different city why don't we go somewhere else and write it and I suggested Porto because I went there last year but I was having a dose of the old mental health and

I remember Porto being absolutely gorgeous and beautiful but me not being fully present I enjoyed it but I wasn't in a good headspace. Spent a lot of time. With my head in the past. Or my head in the future.

And not experiencing the present moment. So I'd like to use the opportunity. To return to beautiful Porto. While I'm in a better place. While I'm in a more grounded. And emotionally regulated place. Which is where I am right now. And what I'm really looking forward to

is running in Porto because it's this beautiful fucking running route that hugs the river and there's gigantic cliffs that tower all around you and big metal bridges that are higher than anything

I've ever seen in my whole life and I want to experience that again and my creative flow is back I've ever seen in my whole life and I want to experience that again and my creative flow is back I've been to therapy I've been doing a lot of work on myself I've been very self-compassionate with myself I think it's fair to say that I'm

emotionally regulated once again for the first time since 2019 oh there's the barefoot accountant fucking opening doors out in the corridor of the office like a mad bastard. Wild and free in his natural environment. But yeah I haven't been emotionally regulated since about 2019. And what I mean by that is that my resting state.

Is one of calmness now. It's not one of worry. Or fear. Or anger. And when I'm calm. I'm able to engage in a state of playfulness. So my thoughts throughout the day are about things I want to think about. Ideas, thinking about this podcast, thinking about ideas for stories, reflecting on other people's art, enjoyable thoughts. And then when something small small something stressful steps into my life

like an urgent email that I have to answer or a bill that I need to pay because I'm emotionally regulated I don't experience these things as terrifying because when that happens I put the task off I don't answer the email I don't pay bill, and then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. What was a minor inconvenience snowballs into a genuine problem. And this is one of the issues with experiencing anxiety or being emotionally dysregulated. When I'm stressed and frightened, I will unconsciously shape my environment into situations that confirm my anxiety. For instance, an urgent email gets sent on a Monday. I don't respond to it because I'm freaking out. And then by Friday, the person who sent the first email is now sending a way more serious email going, now we have an actual problem because you need to deal with that on Monday. Similarly, a bill.

actual problem because you need to deal with that on Monday. Similarly a bill. Hello we collect your bins every week. We need you to pay us for the next six months so we can keep collecting your bins. I have the money but when the bill comes in I go that's too freaky that's too much pressure I'm not dealing with that right now. Then another letter comes in that says you didn't pay your bill so we're not collecting your bins and now I have a real problem. I have a lot of rubbish and I don't know where to put it. I would unconsciously create situations like that for myself because my anxiety and stress and anger made everything seem impossibly threatening. Now I'm calm, now I'm emotionally regulated. So if an urgent email comes in, I just go,

oh, this is annoying, but I better respond to it right now. And I do. And I get a lovely little feeling of accomplishment afterwards. It's like exhaling. If a bill for the bins come in, or even if it's just, I need to take the bins out that night,

I fucking do it. And I do it because when I'm emotionally regulated and my self-esteem is a lot better and I like who I am a lot better, when the little voice inside me says, you need to put the bins out tonight because if you don't, oh, there's the barefoot accountant.

Let's give him time. See, I'm chilled out. I'm relaxed. I'm not reacting to the barefoot accountant he's entitled to move up and down the corridors

and do his shouting and banging that's fine he's in his natural environment he's wild he's fed he's watered everything's okay

February is a very difficult financial quarter he told me last week silly season is over February means business. He looked really stressed but I will say to you barefoot accountant because I know you listen to this podcast. Tuesdays are sacred. If I'm in the office on a Tuesday it means the microphones are turned on but I was speaking about emotional regulation. When my self-esteem is healthy, when I feel calm,

and I need to answer an email, or I need to put out the bins, a little voice comes up inside me and says, you need to put the bins out tonight, and if you don't do it now, you're going to have a surplus of rubbish next week, and that'll be very, that's a real problem, so you need to deal with those bins right now,

is that okay? Because I'm emotionally regulated, I believe that voice when it comes up on me, and I listen to it, and I go, do you know what? You're right. And I put the bins out. I know some of this shit might sound insane, but for me personally,

managing my own mental health and my happiness, it has to start with the smallest little things the tiniest little things like putting out the bin answering emails and i don't think this is artistic stuff this is basic autonomous adult accepting responsibility for your life on a daily basis on a consistent level this is basic responding to the inevitable suffering of existence with calm critical thinking and taking action because when i do it with the small things then i'm prepared when it's a big thing and the big things are getting this podcast done writing my book earning a living so that the money exists to pay for the bins. That stuff becomes more difficult if I'm experiencing a sense of shame and terror

about unanswered emails or bins that didn't get put out. And here's a little trick, and it's a trick that I use, and it's very powerful. Without question, the greatest waste of time and emotional energy is arguing with a stranger on the internet. Don't give a fuck what it's about. When you argue with a stranger on the internet, now I don't mean meaning for discussion

because that can happen and it does happen, it's rare, but most arguments on the internet with a stranger about a thing the first comment is about the thing you're actually arguing about the second comment is about the thing you're actually arguing about then someone says something a little shitty now it's stopped being about the thing you're arguing about and it becomes about hurt feelings and winning and losing and then you're going haha this guy thinks I'm triggered this is just fun to me I don't care about this I don't care about this so much that I'm gonna keep checking my notifications to see if he's written back and I don't care about this so much that I'm gonna spend the next nine

hours arguing with this fella because I'm above all this. It's like you're not. You're very, very upset and the stranger has stopped being a stranger. They've become someone from your past who has hurt you in real life before or they've become one of your parents.

In the absence of a face or a body we project these people onto the person we're arguing with on the internet and you're using a load of emotional energy and attention and a pointless argument on the internet fully convinced that this isn't impacting you in any way whatsoever so we all do that everybody does that our propensity to do that as humans is how social media makes money it's why google is so wealthy and facebook so it's something we all do and i think we can agree arguing with a stranger on the internet for hours is one of the greatest wastes of your time that you can possibly imagine like have you ever won an argument on the internet with a stranger like I have loads like about music and

stuff I'll argue for nine hours about David Bowie and I win you know what it feels like it feels like someone hands you a big trophy and then you hold the trophy and it dissolves and turns into human shit and now you've human shit all over your hands and clothes and it reduces your self-esteem and your self-worth and you feel shameful so here's a little trick every time you feel like getting into an argument with a stranger on the internet every time that desire comes up don't and when you catch yourself saying i'm not arguing with this stranger about the history of house music this isn't going to happen and when you feel that go and do a task that you've been putting off and it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world and I get fucking hammered on social media I get people coming for me every single day and you know what I do? I block them, don't respond and then go and pay my bin bill or I replace a light bulb

or I change the battery in my smoke alarm or I respond to an email and it's such a wonderful feeling. It's like eating a bowl of porridge for your self-esteem. I'm turning the negativity of someone being mean to me on the internet completely flipping that, ignoring it I'm turning the negativity of someone being mean to me on the internet, completely flipping that, ignoring it,

and taking that negative energy and turning it into something positive that can have meaningful change in my day. And then afterwards, when you've changed the light bulb or responded to the email, my self-esteem gets such a boast. That like. I'm like. I don't care what that person said to me. Their opinion doesn't matter. Who gives a fuck.

That's a genuine life hack that actually works. Give that one a go. So I'm off to Porto next week. I'm really looking forward to it. And I'm going to get some writing done. On my book. And my writing has been going really really fucking well the past couple of months because I've been relaxed and happy and able to

experience the feeling of flow and I've been falling back in love with writing and I have these short stories that I'm really excited to share with people and what I've been doing too and I'll do it tonight because I'm gigging tonight in the Opera House in Cork I've been testing out. And I'll do it tonight because I'm gigging tonight in the Opera House in Cork.

I've been testing out the new short stories and live audiences. Because writers don't really do that. That's a technique that stand-up comedians will do. Like writers might debut work to a small writers group for feedback. There's going to be a thousand people in the Opera House tonight. Of course I should test out a first draft of a story on him but I'm thinking no why not go interdisciplinary. Treat it like a stand-up routine. So I've been reading my short stories to live audiences, recording it then listening back and listening to the audience feedback

such as does that that bit there got a laugh? But the bit where it got a laugh, it went too quickly to a serious bit straight after, so it needs a buffer between the two. And using that then, as part of my process, to edit the short stories to make them better. And I've been leaning into humour a lot more in my stories. You see, here's the issue. Because short stories are considered this very serious art form which they are just because something is serious doesn't mean it needs to be solemn like a lot of the short stories that I read at the moment they tend to be very somber and quiet and they shy away from

using very bright colors although there's a writer at the moment called Otessa Mashfeg and her short stories are fucking mad and they're hilarious. But unfortunately when you bring humour into most art forms that are considered serious, when you bring humour in it can be very dangerous because then people devalue the work. I've spoken about this with my fucking music career. Like if you use humour in music,

you get referred to as a novelty act. And it doesn't matter how much you care about the songwriting, the production, the playing, the arrangements. Once you get labelled novelty, then your work doesn't have artistic value. And with a serious form like the short story, if your short story is too fucking funny unfortunately it's referred to as comedy and comedy is a bad word even that writer

there atessa mashfeg who i mentioned she has a wonderful collection of short stories called homesick for another world she's a serious writer she was nominated for the booker prize but i saw an interview with her where she had to defend the use of comedy in her work. She had to say, no, no, this isn't comedy because she knew how that would be perceived. But I know from reading her work, there's parts in it and it's fucking comedy. It's really funny. She uses feed lines and punch lines and those are the mechanics of comedy. So for my new collection of short stories I'm leaning into humour more because I didn't lean into humour enough in my

second collection Boulevard Wren. There's plenty of absurdity in there, it's quite surreal but there were opportunities to write stuff in there that was funny and I leaned back from it because I thought no what if someone thinks that's a joke and then this gets called comedy and the thing is anyone who says that about a piece of art anyone who devalues a piece of art because it's too funny generally I find the people who make that critique they care more about what the art they consume says about them. They wear the books that they read like their hats or they listen to music not just to enjoy the music but to communicate to other people that they're a fan of this music to make themselves seem more intelligent or cultured or knowledgeable

and comedy can threaten the solemnity of that. And I think that's fucking harsh shit. Like I'll give you a real world example right now. There's this band called Gilla Band. They used to be called Girl Band. Now I fucking love them. I love their music. You might not enjoy it. It's quite difficult.

Incredibly loud. Almost anti-music. It's almost a genre called no wave. You really gotta search for the beauty in this music, but if you look and you find that it's wonderful, like being in a restaurant and buying a big giant plate of mussels. It's like, what the fuck are you eating, man? They're in their shells. It doesn't even look like food. It looks like it's hanging off the side of a boat. What the fuck are you eating? It's mussels, man. They're delicious. No thanks, I'll have my burger. I understand burgers. But Gilliband's music is like a big pot of mussels.

Difficult music. Very loud. Takes time to get it. And I mean that as a compliment. But they're an Irish band. And the thing is with Gilliband, they're really, really cool. Like if you're a bit of a music poser,

and you would like your taste in music to communicate something sophisticated about your taste, you'd say to people, I listen to Gilliband. Like I heard this in real life. I was at a gig in Dublin this year and I was out in the smoking area and there was a young lad there

and he was really cool looking. He had the little moustache and the small little beanie cap on his head that looks like a condom. And he was roaring about how much he loved Gilliband. Because there's this other band called Fontaines DC. Now they're not like Gilliband, but they're in the same neighbourhood.

But this lad didn't consider them cool anymore because they got too popular. But there was this young lad, he was about 23. And he was a little bit tipsy in the smoking area and he had a very specific type of Dublin voice that sounds like a barrister who's swallowed a chainsaw. He goes, Oh dude, I don't want to hear any Fontaines. It's gentrification music.

I want to hear Gilliband. I wanted to intervene. I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to go to him as an older man and just say this doesn't work buddy I tried this out in my twenties it doesn't work just enjoy whatever music you enjoy

and if you try to use your aesthetic tastes to communicate something about your identity to other people it ends in emptiness just enjoy what you want to enjoy and let other people enjoy what they want to enjoy and let other people enjoy what they want to enjoy. Now that's not Gilliband's fault. They don't control that. They just want to make the music that they like. But Gilliband are seen as really serious, really difficult,

impenetrable music that can only be appreciated by people who really understand their music. Now my opinion of Gilliband, who I love, I fucking love them, but I think they're the best comedy band in the world right now. I think their music is fucking hilarious and their lyrics are fucking hilarious. Like here's some lyrics from their last album. Shit clothes, shit clothes. I spent all my money on shit clothes. I put them in the wash, in a brand new bosh. their last album. I went to Lidl, I went to JC's to get my boot cut jeans. Shit clothes, shit clothes. I spent all my money on shit clothes. Now I love that. I think it's funny. I think it's absurd. It's silly. It's ridiculous. And if you listen to the music, you'd assume that what they're singing about is like

really serious shit because the music is so loud and terrifying and pessimistic. No one would ever call Gilliband a novelty act. I don't think I've ever read a review where people have pointed out the comedy in their music and the reason is they got the image right. All their photographs are pure black and white. They look like what you want your serious artist to look like.

And then the lucky bastards are getting away with murder in the lyrics. Their lyrics are really silly, but they haven't incorporated silliness into their aesthetic at any point. And I wish I'd figured that out with the rubber bandits all those years ago. Because you see, we looked and acted like clowns. And then you put out a song like dad's best friend or spastic hawk and people go jesus well done lads that's really good for a novelty song or worse of all and i mean from journalists that's really funny lads where did you get the background music because you're fucking idiots with plastic bags on your heads so you didn't

make the music where did you get the music the music's actually quite good where did you get that what serious musician did you get to make that music that you put funny words over because getting called a novelty act over and over again when i'm really caring about music as an art form and treating it with respect being written off as novelty consistently, makes you not want to make music anymore. But shout out to Gilliband. I adore your work. This is what annoys me about comedy or laughter or humour being seen as devaluing art.

Because humour and laughter are valid parts of the human condition just as valid as sadness or longing or disappointment like if your work is full of longing and sadness and disappointment and doesn't have any humor or comedy in it it can be perceived in a very shallow way as having more intellectual depth here's's the simplest example. Black and white photographs. You take a photograph of something in black and white. All of a sudden the work feels more important. Oh, this is in black and white. It must be dead serious.

A really tortured artist must have taken this photograph because they did it in black and white. Well, you can write stories in black and white as well. And you can make music in black and white. Well, you can write stories in black and white as well. And you can make music in black and white. And some artists can do it really, really well. But you can also do it to trick people. You can make your work seem so serious

and so sad and so impenetrable that people just assume they don't have the intelligence to understand it and it must be great. This is why sometimes, no, sometimes, not always, a visual artist in a fucking gallery could have a

wheelbarrow with a bag of chips in it and then you read about what they've written about this piece of work to describe it to you and then you wish you've never read it because it has about 20 words you've never heard in your entire life. I'm on a ramble this week lads. I'm on a little bit of a rare ramble but the point

I'm trying to make is I've been leaning into humour a lot with these new short stories I'm writing. I've found it to be very healing and immensely enjoyable and also I spent 10 fucking years as a professional comedian on stage and on television. It's a string to my bow that I'd like to use in short story writing and I don't think it devalues the work in any way. So I'm going off to Porto. Portugal as well have decriminalised all drugs since the year 2000. They're like a leading example around the world of the positive impacts on society when you treat drug use as a health issue and not a criminal one.

So I'll be smoking a small bit of Baldy over in Portugal. They don't have cannabis clubs like they have in Spain. But there's a train station that I can hang around outside. And a man will come up to me and I'll tell him what type of cannabis I want. And he'll come back to me with that type of cannabis. And I'll enjoy that responsibly as an adult with a frosty pint of Superbac. Just today in Ireland actually, very positive news. The government have announced a citizens' assembly around drugs in Ireland.

And even our politicians from Fianna Fáil and Fianna Gael, who are quite conservative, have intimated that they would like to see drug use in Ireland liberalized. Probably because some giant fucking American cannabis company wants to come to Dublin and pay no tax. But they're doing a citizens assembly on drugs in Ireland, I think in April. And I'm not 100% sure about what a citizens assembly is. I think, I could be way fucking wrong, I think I think I could be way fucking wrong I think they get like a sample

of Irish citizens and they ask them you know how would you like to see drugs legislated in Ireland is this a criminal issue or a health issue and the citizens assembly was used quite effectively when it came to repealing the 8th amendment

in Ireland which legalised abortion and the citizens assembly around the Eighth Amendment was one of those things that it kind of kicked the government up the arse and made them declare a referendum. But with drugs in Ireland you don't need to declare a referendum.

There's nothing in the Constitution that says drugs need to be criminalised. So it should be a more streamlined process. Right, let's do the ocarina pause. You're going to hear an advert here. There's no ocarina, but there is the Puerto Rican guiro. On April 5th, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl.

Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what?

Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Hey! Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.

Who said that? The first omen. Only! Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen, only in theaters April 5th. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So,

who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca That's sunrisechallenge.ca Less offensive than the ears of dogs. This podcast is supported by you, the listener, via the Patreon page. Patreon.com forward slash The Blind Buy Podcast. This podcast is my full-time job. It's how I earn a living.

If you enjoy this podcast, please consider becoming a patron. If you can't afford that, don't worry about it. You can listen for free because the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free everybody gets a podcast i get to earn a living it's a wonderful model and it keeps this podcast 100 independent i've got full creative control right of any gigs i think the vicar streets are sold out what have I got here most of these are sold out Belfast

on the 4th of March Vicar Street on the 22nd of March Vicar Street on the 24th of March there might be a few tickets for those gigs

I don't know 1st of April TLT Theatre Drogheda Drogheda's breaking my heart so there is tickets left for Drogheda and then I'm over in Canada.

Toronto and the Opera House. And then in Vancouver. I think those are sold out. I'm going to come back to Canada. And do a big tour of Winnipeg and Ottawa. And Montreal and all that crack. I'll do that sometime within the next year. So I kind of rushed.

The Patreon bit there. Because, and the bit about this podcast being independent because the next half of the podcast really addresses this. So I didn't intend that to be a 25 minute rant. I just wanted to tell you I was going to Portugal next week, that's it. But I think the barefoot accountant opening and closing the doors sent my mind off into different tangents. But I'd like to do a question answering podcast this week. You're always asking me questions, especially over on Instagram. So I like to take podcasts and put aside the time to answer your questions or to speak about what you'd like me to speak about. So the first question I want to answer, I want to answer this because

I think the person sending it is being a bit of a shit stirrer. So the question is, hey blind boy, have you seen the recent JNLR figures? I'd be interested to hear how your podcast listenership compares. Now that was sent by an anonymous Instagram account that was created recently now do you know what JNLR figures are? probably not because the only people who care about them are people who work in the radio industry the JNLR figures are

the listenership figures for all the big radio shows in Ireland how many people tune in and listen to these shows and this year's JNLR figures came out last week and the reason I think this person is a shit star is

it's a recently made account it's anonymous so I reckon whoever sent this question works in the radio industry in Ireland and they want to start some shit. So last week the JNLR figures were released. These are the listenership figures for every major radio show in the country.

And it can have pretty big implications. Like for the radio DJs that work on shows jnlr day can be fucking terrifying because if their figures are low it could mean them getting the boot also advertisers radio shows in ireland they make their money from advertising and if the listenership figures are low on a radio show or they've gotten lower then the advertiser can renegotiate the fee or they can just pull their adverts all together so jnlr figures really really fucking serious in irish radio so what the person was asking me is have i seen the listenership figures for the irish radio shows and how does my podcast compare to the irish the top irish radio shows now as you know like I

try not to think about fucking figures at all I really don't I mean when we hit 50 million listeners, ACAST told me and I was really happy and proud of that, that we'd hit 50 million listeners but outside of that I do not check

my weekly stats I don't check how many people listen to each episode like for instance I know this episode where it's me ranting and answering your questions these episodes tend to have lower listenership because these episodes are for the people who listen every single fucking week but when I do an episode that's like a hot take about a topic and it has loads of research

and it takes me days to write those podcasts will do huge listens because when I do a podcast like that I've created something that makes a person want to share it and tell someone else about it. So I get rubberneckers, people who don't usually listen to the podcast,

listening to a hot take episode because that topic tends to be something that they're interested in. Now I'm aware of all this shit, but I try not to think about it. The second that I start to think, how can I make something that other people will really like? Once I do that, I'll make a shit podcast. I have to make something that I care about. I want the process of writing these podcasts to be deeply enjoyable for me so that I'm passionate. And if I can do that,

then the listenership tends to look after itself. So I don't look at figures. But when this fucking question came in, and when I looked at the figures of the biggest radio shows in the country, I was like, fuck it, I better check my figures. I have to. No, I don't want to be naming names of radio shows. I don't think I have to. You know

what the biggest radio stations are and you know what the biggest shows are. So I looked at the stats. I have more regular listeners than the top radio shows in the country which I didn't know. I didn't know that and I don't like thinking like that. I wasn't aware of that at all. I had a ballpark idea of what my listenership was. What I didn't know was, I assumed that the radio shows would be getting more. Now, it's not entirely a level playing field. So the radio shows in Ireland, their only listenership is within the country of Ireland.

And my podcast has an international listenership I think maybe 70% of my listenership is outside of Ireland so that puts me at an advantage but what puts the radio shows at an advantage is they have an advertising budget like have you ever driven down the motorway and seen a giant billboard for the blind boy podcast have you ever opened a newspaper and seen an advert for the fucking blind boy podcast no i don't have advertising or an advertising budget i have my social media and the word of mouth of my listeners also this show doesn't really have a budget i write it i record it i. I edit it. I produce it. I upload it.

I literally do everything myself. And that's how I want it to be. If you're a radio show presenter, you're not researching your own show. You're turning up at your desk and there's a team of researchers who put shit in front of you. So that was really surprising to me. And it's also nuts.

So I'm getting these prime time fucking radio figures but my lived reality is not that at all like these radio presenters like I said they drive to work and then they see themselves up on a fucking billboard I'm just down here in Limerick in a little fucking office just talking into into a mic. And I don't. I don't want to think about that. Because I don't like. I compete with myself. And I don't compete with myself in terms of figures.

I compete with myself in terms of. Making sure I enjoy. What I'm doing each week. Whatever podcast I'm making. I need to be having fun doing it. But one thing that does piss me off a little bit, so I haven't been on television or radio. I haven't participated in what you'd call established media since 2019.

I haven't had a... My last TV show was on BBC in 2019. So for three years, I've been fully independent. But if you didn't listen to this podcast, you'd think I'd disappeared off the face of the earth. Like my ma will ring me some weeks and say, the neighbours were asking what you're doing with your life.

Now they're all older people. These are people who watch television and watch radio and they're not on the internet. But the neighbours are going, oh what's he doing? I haven't seen him on TV now in years. Is he employed? Does he have a job? So in terms of people making the choice to listen to this podcast, I'm up there with the big radio presenters in the country. the big radio presenters in the country but blind boy has disappeared off the face of the earth if you were to pick up a newspaper or look at the tv or listen to the radio and the reason is established media since about 2016 is living in its own fantasy universe that is that it has created where it only reports on things if they occur in other forms

of established media. Now I've spoken about this before but the reason I keep bringing it up is because other people don't speak about it and I think it's because I have the unique position of having worked

in both established media and independent media. I've done tv shows i have fucking awards for tv shows been doing that for years i know how both worlds work and radio newspapers and tv are all together sticking their fingers in their ears and going la la la la la our entertainment is the only entertainment that exists in the entire country, and anything outside of that does not exist, and we don't talk about it. Like if someone goes on to the Late Late Show,

which is a huge talk show in Ireland, an RTE, it's a TV talk show. If someone goes on to the Late Late Show and farts, there's articles about it all weekend because someone farted on the late late show but like a couple of months back the fucking president of ireland they came to me and asked to be on the podcast and we spoke for an hour and had this in depth chat the fucking president of ireland but if you opened up a newspaper or watched TV or listened to the radio, it might as well have not have happened. I think there was like one article in the newspaper about it. I'd say close to a million people listened to it, but it would have

gotten less news attention than Twink talking about her dog in the late late. That's weird. Because the trifecta of established media, radio, newspapers and TV, had to put their fingers in their ear and go, I know the president was on his podcast, but independent podcasts don't exist in our universe. We have to pretend that they don't exist. Now you might be thinking, that's not true, Blind Boy, because I've seen people talking about their podcasts.

I've seen people brought on Irish TV and radio just to speak about their podcasts. But here's what I guarantee you, they're not independent podcasts. One of two things has happened. The money behind that podcast comes from established media. Like it could be a podcast that's produced with a company that's backed by a newspaper or we'll say BBC sounds in the UK that they're BBC podcasts or there's podcast networks in Ireland and they're subsidiaries of radio stations so even though they're podcasts that's still within the world of established media so therefore it's okay to

talk about them and then the other thing is if the person with the podcast has hired a PR company and this is you go to a PR company in Dublin you pay them a couple of grand and they take that money to get you slots on television to speak about your product that's how that works but outside of that the trifecta of established media pretends that independent broadcasting doesn't exist it's not it isn't happening it doesn't happen the only thing that matters are jnlr figures and anything outside of that that's not real now the thing is why do I give a fuck? Because to be honest, I couldn't be happier. Like legitimately. This podcast, I earn a living from it.

And I get full fucking creative control. I get to do whatever the fuck I want each week. If this podcast was on one of the mainstream radio stations, I'd be really unhappy. Because I'd have to make shit every week. I'd have to make harsh shit. Everything would be really unhappy because I'd have to make shit every week I'd have to make harsh shit everything would be really quickly edited everything would have to be utterly perfect

like earlier on in this podcast a man called the barefoot accountant opened the door three times and I fucking left it in I left it in because it felt right and you couldn't do that on 2FM. And more people are probably going to listen to that man opening a door this week

than listening to some of the shows on 2FM. No disrespect, I couldn't do that on the radio. Can we leave in that bit where someone opened a door? It feels right in the moment. I consider chaos to be part of my process. So no, I'd be really, really unhappy if I was making this podcast for mainstream broadcast media. And I say that from experience

as someone who's made a bunch of fucking TV shows. When you work in that world, it's a constant fight to make what you want to make. And everything is a heartbreaking compromise until the final product is something that you find it really difficult to stand over this podcast each week i can fucking stand over it i'd listen to this if i wasn't me the only reason i'm a bit queasy about effectively not being i hate using the word fucking famous. Because Ireland is tiny. Ireland is fucking tiny. And it's an embarrassing word to use. But there doesn't appear to be other words for it.

Notoriety. I'm just going to say famous. Even though I think it's a bullshit word. So I'm not famous in Ireland anymore. As in the household nameness. Of blind boy. I don't have that. that type of fame is actually a construct and it's constructed by the established media channels. They construct who's famous and who's not. If I was to appear on telly or radio now,

most people who don't listen to this podcast would go, remember that fella, that fella with the bag in his head, what does he do, he sings about horses or he's mentally ill or something, what does he do again, he's from Limerick is he, that's where I'm at, while simultaneously holding my own against the biggest radio shows in the country, it's why my ma's neighbours are asking if I have a job, but they're thinking, but Blind Boy, you've got a plastic bag in your head. You've told us multiple times you don't want notoriety or fame. I don't.

It's fucking awful. I hate it. I'm really, really happy right now, making this podcast each week, just for people who want to hear it, earning a living and then not being famous. I actually kind of like that but from a career perspective unfortunately I need a certain amount of it. Even though my podcast is doing

quite well with listeners, my cultural capital within the established media world is low because fame is a spectacle that they can construct put it this way in 2015 I went on to the late late show I can't even remember where I was on it I was promoting a documentary I made so I was on the late late show and I said some words that resonated with a lot of people and that clip went quite viral and because I'd said it on the Late Late Show then all the newspapers started to report about that clip and the reporting went on for quite a long time so in 2015 I was really famous in Ireland and people would call to my mother's house and go oh my god he's doing so well. My goodness, oh my goodness. You must be so proud.

But the reality was, I was living in a piss-stained bedsit in Limerick, renting it for 200 euros a month. I was very poor. I was not successful at all while being quite famous in Ireland because the fame was a construct that was constructed by the media.

Now I'm actually successful. I'm making work regularly that millions of people are consuming consistently and I'm earning a living and I'm not famous at all. People think I'm fucking unemployed so the point I'm making is that notoriety is utter bullshit absolute bullshit and this is from someone who's been there it's bullshit that's created by the media if they speak about you but I do need a little bit of that bullshit so that my career can have longevity because if podcasts end end tomorrow. Which they might do. Like Twitter's over. Twitter's fucking done. I've 300,000 followers on Twitter.

Twitter's fucking gone. The algorithm's fucked. My 300,000 followers on Twitter are worth nothing to me now. Someone changed the button. Overnight. Elon Musk. And if someone flips the switch on podcasts, which they could do, then I don't have listeners anymore. And then what happens? I can't go knocking at the door

of established media because I'm not famous anymore. And if I go, I know you haven't heard from me in a while, but I've actually been doing this podcast for five years that had millions of listeners. They're like, I'm afraid the regular people of Ireland don't know who you are anymore. You need to be more recognisable to work in established media. So that's the weird conundrum I'm in. I couldn't be happier where my career is at right now. I couldn't be happier than being able to make this podcast and have full creative control and make work I can stand over and have an audience and earn a living. That's incredible.

But if TV, radio and newspapers are willing to pretend that the fucking president of Ireland didn't come on my podcast and have an hour-long chat, something is up. And I know what's up. And if this isn't, here's the danger of talking about this shit. When you talk this way can make you sound like a right-wing conspiracy nut the mainstream media won't let me on because i speak too much truth they won't let that's not the case at all nothing i say is even remotely

controversial i'm actually more ethical than most of the mainstream radio shows. Like, I don't platform fascism or transphobia just to get a reaction. I don't platform a person with harmful views and then step back and go, well, I'm saying nothing, we're just putting this person on because we think they need to be heard. I don't do that. Like, your average radio show in Ireland would be like, good morning guys. We've got a man called John who likes to kill swans with his fist. He believes that swans should not exist in Ireland and he kills them with his fist. John is on the line. John, why do you kill swans? I just think there's too many swans in Ireland and they've got big

long necks and I just like to choke the swans and kill them. Are you not worried, John, about what people will think? Are you not worried about harming the swans? No, man, fuck them. So John likes to harm swans, guys. I don't have an opinion about this, but I'd like to know what your opinion is. Are there too many swans in Ireland? Should we kill swans?

576-312, guys. Ring us up and let us know if the swans are out of control we've got Barry on the line what do you think of swans Barry? I think John is right, I think he's right I think we should kill every swan we see do it with a lawnmower, kill him with a lawnmower controversial opinion there

from Barry from Cork now let's speak to Maura who thinks that swans shouldn't be killed, I think swans are amazing and we should protect all the swans and not kill the swans. Thank you Mora. And finally some words from Eamon. I'm more concerned about big wriggly worms climbing out of the ground into my shoes. Putting a big massive biome in my ki-

But you get my point. I don't do that shit. I don't do that shit on this podcast, so I'm not too hot for radio, but then after the conversation about choking swans happens on the radio, all the newspapers go, a conversation about choking swans happened on the radio, better write a lot of articles about it and put them up on Facebook and then people can fight about swans underneath the article on Facebook I don't like that shit that there's a dishonesty at the core of that infrastructure which I don't enjoy and I don't do it on this podcast I don't ever bring a guest on or bring up a topic or debate the legitimacy of a person's existence just to get reactions I don't want those listens

so I'm not like complaining about quote-unquote mainstream media saying that it's this big fucking conspiracy what I'm saying is that it's a business model and if you step outside of that business model and become independent then you become competition and ever since my podcast started getting tons of listeners and effectively becoming competition and becoming a place where listeners and advertisers might flock to and they kind of pretend that I don't exist unless I'm invited on to the radio or to TV to speak about something but only within these very tightly defined roles that established media has decided for me which is basically just mental health or autism like I'll get phone calls blind

by will you come on and speak about autism no I won't will you come on and speak about anxiety for five minutes I'd rather not because I think that something as complex as mental health shouldn't be spoken about for like five or ten minutes on this platform and then reduced to a kind of a strange attention-grabbing headline afterwards but I I do have this podcast, and each week I speak about various topics, art, culture, all of these things, and like millions of people tune in to listen to it. Any chance I could talk about something close to that?

No, your podcast doesn't exist. You're the mental fellow with the bag on his head. So they don't know what to do with me. That's what it's gotten to. It's not a huge big conspiracy against me I'm dealing with human beings who actually quite like me but since this podcast the Irish media doesn't have a place for me they don't know what to do with me and I don't want to go onto a radio show and speak about mental health for five minutes or speak about autism for five minutes

just so I get a mention in the paper so that I can keep my foot in that world. But yeah there's more people listening to my podcast than the radio shows in Ireland and my mother's neighbours think I'm unemployed and that's my litmus test we'll say for the the normal people of Ireland the people who my mother know who only read papers watch the tv or listen to the radio what did they think of me right now and right now they don't think I exist anymore now ironically I am actually going to be on the radio this week and this usually usually only happens when the presenter, the person presenting the show, is a listener to this podcast. So I've been asked on to one of the big radio shows to speak about imperialism, which, as you know, is a recurrent theme in my podcast, imperialism and colonialism.

So what's going to happen is I'm going to go on the radio and have a nuanced and compassionate anti-colonial conversation. Then when that's over, because I said it on the radio, it's because the conversation happened within the parameters of established media, the radio. Now, one of the newspapers has got permission to write about words that I said, because they happened on the radio. And then one of the newspapers is going to pick a sentence from my nuanced conversation about colonialism

they're going to pick a sentence remove all context present it as a thesis statement run with it as a headline put that up on Facebook and make it look like I'm in the IRA just to piss off a load of middle aged dads on Facebook who like I'm in the IRA just to piss off a lot of middle-aged dads on

Facebook who'll get angry in the comments and have a big giant argument. To drive engagement to the newspaper's Facebook page because newspapers are crumbling in the digital age. And the person who writes that headline, they mightn't even know who the fuck I am. They mightn't even live in Ireland because a lot of newspapers outsource their headlines now to companies who specialise in making headlines that get the most engagement online and that's not a conspiracy against me no one's doing it to try and harm me or hurt me

it's just that's where the fucking media landscape is right now it's fucked and I hope to god I can keep doing this podcast for as long as possible and staying as much as possible within independent media creating my own stuff having full control promoting my stuff through my own social media and not having to go through the bullshit of a really outdated model that isn't relevant to people's lives anymore. Like I need to make it clear

I'm not shitting on the people who work in TV or radio or fucking newspapers. I've worked in that world. There's a lot of talented, kind, lovely people but the model isn't working anymore. And the reason I'm going over the fucking porto this week is so I can write something for TV. I've had something that has been commissioned, but commissioned at the script level. So I've been commissioned to write a script for TV, but that might not end up in TV. But why do you think I'm doing it? Why would I

make something for TV when I can do what I like on my podcast and actually reach more people because I kind of need something on TV because I haven't been on TV in 2019 and if I don't make something for established media then I stop existing it's fucking bizarre and what's really annoying about it is it then forces me to become somebody who has to sing their own praises which I'd rather not do at all but there's two parts of my fucking job there's the one where I get to create things that I enjoy and love and then there's the other part where I have to promote myself because I'm independent and self-employed so I hope that sufficiently answers the question of what do I think of the fucking JNLR figures all right I'm independent and self-implied. So I hope that sufficiently answers the question of what

do I think of the fucking JNLR figures. Alright, I'm going to take some more questions. Because that was just one fucking, I always do this. That was just one question. Blind Boy, what do you think of your song Horse Outside in 2023? I always get

asked about this. So there's people who listen to this podcast who don't even know a song called Horse Outside who don't even know that I was in a music group called the Rubber Bandits and I quite like that I quite enjoy that here's something really interesting

that I've noticed about the song Horse Outside it stopped being a Rubber Bandits song in 2023 Here's something really interesting that I've noticed about the song Horse Outside. It stopped being a Rubber Bandits song in 2023. Every weekend I'll get tagged at like three in the morning on Instagram. And it's someone in Australia usually, Australia or sometimes Canada, and they're out in an Irish bar, and there's someone playing horse outside with an acoustic guitar, but the person singing it, they mightn't even be Irish. So what appears to have happened with the song Horse Outside,

and I think this is beautiful, I really like this, it's become a song that's like an Irish drinking song or an Irish traditional folk song. Horse Outside, it doesn't get played like by DJs. Like the Rubber Bandits version doesn't get played in nightclubs or anything like that anymore. What happens is some dude with a guitar who's in an irish pub who's playing like songs from the dubliners or songs from the wolf tones it's become a folk song completely removed

and detached from myself or mr chrome it's it's not ours anymore it's it's gone it's out there other people are playing it it's removed from context and there's people in bars in australia and it's just now this weird irish folk song and as far as these people are concerned it could be from the 1820s and as someone with a deep passion for music i do love that. A song like losing authorship and becoming a folk song. There's people singing the song on acoustic guitar and they don't know where it came from. They just know this is one of these Irish songs that you sing to Irish people when you're in an Irish bar. Now that story is the type of thing that would get me called back onto Irish radio. Blind Boy would you speak about the song Horse Outside from 13

years ago and how its meaning has now changed in 2023? And that's because they're like oh we forgot you're not just the guy with the bag in his head who's mental you're the guy with the bag in his head who's mental. You're the guy with the bag in his head who sang a song about a horse. So another question I got asked was, what do I think of AI and will it replace creativity? No, it won't replace creativity. I've been using AI called ChatGPT. Most people have been using this. Very interesting.

Very useful. most people have been using this very interesting very useful it won't replace creativity because creativity is too connected to the human condition and the chaos and irrationality of what it is to be human and the experience of suffering and memories and pain like i was using chat gpt and pain like i was using chat gpt this an ai chat bot so you can use it and it feels like speaking to a human and it can answer questions it's amazing but i asked chat gpt as a little test i said do a word association for the word dog now a word association is it's it's a tool you'd use in creativity to unlock your unconscious mind so if i'm trying to get into a state of creative flow i write the word dog and then i very quickly without thinking try and work write as many words that come to mind as soon as i write dog now as a human i'm exploring my unique unconscious mind where dreams come from so I'll

start off with dog and end up at ice cream but chat GPT when I asked it to write a word association for dog write as many words as possible that you associate with dog. It was like asking a thesaurus chat GPT just went for dog collar bark hound. It never left the canine domain because it didn't have an unconscious mind to delve into. It didn't have opinions about dogs. It had never met a dog. I was attacked by a dog when I was four. Some of my earliest moments of terror are about a dog cowering over me ready to bite my fucking face off. So when I start exploring the word dog and dogness and trying to not use my conscious mind and instead go deep into my unconscious, I'm going to start bringing up all this trauma and fear and negativity and all that these are my unique

meanings and perspectives around what a dog is chat gpt can't do that ai can't do that unless you can implant memories into fucking ai art comes from the suffering of being human and the uniqueness of each human's experience. So I don't think AI could ever create art like a human can. But it will replace jobs. It will be used to make bad art, to make functional art, to make donkey work art. Art that doesn't... The art that isn't about unique creative expression but is instead

about just making a product artisanal stuff it'll take a lot of graphic design jobs um illustrator jobs the type of jobs that the illustrators and graphic

designers kind of churn out quickly but still it's a human getting paid the shit that get kind of churn out quickly but still it's a human getting paid the shit to get that that humans churn out quickly now using their creativity i think ai is going to replace that but i've been using ai as well to help me with my writing with my short stories now i don't want to explain exactly how i've been using it. I don't use AI to generate anything, as in I don't use it to create anything, but I've found unique ways of using AI to give me feedback on stuff that I've already written and that feedback that it can give me

using various methods can highlight blind spots in my work that I then use my creativity to go back and fix. So I found it quite useful as a tool for creativity. Final question. What do I think of all these UFOs getting shot down? I don't think they're UFOs. I think they're balloons.

I reckon they're from China or from Russia. I reckon the balloons are there to test the to test the capabilities of the US to test their radar I know that already it has shown that US radar isn't very good at picking up balloons and if they are balloons

why are the US fucking government intimating to the public that they might be UFOs because the language they're using is nuts. They're saying this was an unidentified flying object. It didn't appear to have any propulsion. It was about the size of a car. It was octagonal. And we're all going, what the fuck is it? Is it a drone? Is it a plane? We don't know, guys. It's an object. We don't know what it is. They're using every possible word to describe a balloon without calling it a balloon.

And I think the reason they're doing that is they're scrambling fucking billion dollar jets and shooting missiles that are 500 million dollars apiece to shoot down fucking balloons. And that makes the US military look overfunded and silly and weak. Do you ever see a security guard like a grown man? A grown man security guard.

And he's got his belt with his truncheon and his handcuffs and his walkie-talkie. And he looks like a professional security guard. And now he's chasing children across the car park of a supermarket. Have you ever seen a fully equipped security guard and now he's chasing children across the car park of a supermarket have you ever seen a fully equipped security guard chasing children and how fucking stupid he looks how idiotic he looks chasing children with all his equipment that's what the u.s military looks like if they're using billion dollar planes to shoot down fucking balloons. That cost a tenner to make.

So I don't think there's any UFOs or aliens. I think the Yanks are shooting down fucking balloons and panicking. And worried about looking like langers. In front of the rest of the world. Okay that's all the time I have this week. I'll be back next week. I'm going to be over in Porto. Alright.

And I'm going to have a podcast for you next week. That I pre-recorded this week in the meantime rub a dog kiss a cat choke a swan to death Rock City you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation

night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first ontario center in hamilton at 7 30 p.m you can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Thank you.