The Blindboy Podcast - The medieval origins of 2fm Radio DJ voice
Episode Date: December 10, 2025A thesis on the human voice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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Tickla Vincent, you cowardly Horrigans.
Welcome to the Blind Boy Podcast.
My voice is too busy, see they're all gonna turn that down.
What's that about?
But that's because yesterday, I did an interview, I did an interview on RTE Radio One,
and I did it hear from my studio, but I wanted to out radio, the radio.
So I turned the set, the settings on my, my preamble.
I turned it all the way up like this when I was talking to him.
Very high base.
You see, any time I agreed to go on the radio, especially with RTE, they're like,
we'd like to have you on the radio for 15 minutes.
Will you come to Dublin?
Will you come up to Dublin to go on the radio for 15 minutes?
Will I fuck come to Dublin?
I can give you a perfectly good broadcast quality audio.
Here, from my own studio, we can do it over the internet.
I'm not coming to Dublin.
when the people listening aren't going to be able to tell the difference
and then they say
oh but it's nice to have you in studio with the presenter
so they can read your face
and then I say I'm going to be wearing a fucking bag in my head anyway
so what I've started doing just to show off
is when I go on the radio and I'm here in my studio in Limerick
I turned the bass up right up like this
so that I sound better than the DJ that I'm speaking to
just to prove a pint
my voice is still a little listen to that
I sounded like a Mongolian throat singer there
I'm not sick anymore
My voice is back
But it's a little bit husky
But I quite like the huskiness in it this week
It's revealing some hidden octaves
That I didn't know about
I should just do that
I should just do that the next time
Next time I'm on the fucking radio
At RTE
And they're like
We've got Blind Boy on the line
Hello Blind Boy
Hello this is Blind Boy
How is everything going up there
In Donnybrook Dublin 4
Is the traffic crazy on the M50
You never hear that.
You never hear two people doing radio voice at each other, do you?
It's usually the main presenter has got broadcast radio voice
and then the co-presenter is like a normal human being.
You couldn't have two people but broadcast radio voice together.
It'd be like a game of soccer with two balls on the pitch.
Now in fairness, I was talking to Brendan O'Connor
and he's got a, he doesn't have broadcast voice,
he's got a cork accent, so he's one of the few people on the radio
that doesn't have unnecessarily Dublin broadcast voice.
How do you describe it?
How do you fucking describe Irish DJ radio voice?
I mean,
itinerant lozenges of Werther's original slashing around
the underpants of a barrister,
the lubricated testicles of a fox rock barrister.
I mean, apologies for being so homo erotic with it, but...
Radio DJ voice, it's somewhere in the spectrum of caramel and testicles, isn't it?
My voice is sliding around the caramel testicle spectrum.
I know, I've promised for a long time that I was going to do a podcast on the history of broadcast voice, radio voice.
Why the fuck do they talk that way?
Because there has to be a reason.
and I've researched into it and I haven't found
the definitive little hot take just yet
I haven't found that piece of information
like I've won basic hunch
and it's a microphone hunch
like the evolution of microphones
like changed how
people sing and people speak
if you listen to any recording from the 1920s music recording
they all sing pure nasally
Hold on, I'll give you an example now, a bit of a fella called Eddie Cantor from the 1920s.
All of you may know her too, I'd like to shout right now, say if you knew Susie like I know Susie.
Why the fuck is he singing like that?
What a ridiculous way to sing, and that's a song called A Few New Susie from 1925 by a fella called Eddie Cantor.
And he's singing out of his nose.
And I just played a teeny, teeny, teeny tiny snippet of that because
You can't play music on podcasts anymore because they'll get taken down by AI software
will spot it, even though I'd probably argue that song there is 1925, so that's 101 years old,
if we're being honest, because it's nearly fucking 2026.
I'd imagine the copyright is gone on that, but still I don't want to risk it.
But that, songs from the 20s, they sing like an epileptic ferret, is navigating their rectums because
the microphones were so weak. They had these weak microphones above their heads and they had to sing
in this really tinny way or else the microphones just simply would not catch the audio, wouldn't
record it. On top of that, they used to record directly onto wax. The vinyl, it wasn't fucking
vinyl, the record was made out of literal wax and the vibrations of noise had to be strong enough
that the needle could cut into that wax.
So if you had a low voice or if you whispered,
it wouldn't work, it just would not record, it wouldn't record.
Same if you listen to speeches from the 1920s.
Everyone sounds like they're dipping their toes into freezing cold water,
all high-pitched and nasally,
because it's what you had to do.
Microphone technology was the only way you could be recorded.
And then therefore, all of the music and the speeches,
that we have from the 20s are only people speaking like that.
So the people who were speaking in a low voice or being calm or had deep voices or were even
singing in a whisper.
We don't have any recordings of their fucking voices.
And then around the 1940s, I think it was, you get this explosion of singers like
Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, the crooners who are singing in a.
deep bass, low whisper close to the mic, because these things called condenser microphones
got invented. We still use them today but they're just a lot more sensitive. They can take
in bass frequencies and you can whisper if you like. And spoken word emerges where
the microphone is really being used as an instrument in the art of spoken word. A jazz poet by the
name a Ken Nardine jumps out.
Would have been around the 1950s.
He was definitely an hourl, an hourl touchstone for me.
When I was starting this podcast and I was figuring out, you know, how do I want this to feel?
I play a little bit of Ken Nardine.
This is from 1956.
I think this is called Down the Drain.
I discovered that taking warm baths made me feel relaxed.
We live in a very neurotic society
and they use hydrotherapy and hospitals
for those who are neurotic
and I have a bathtub
That was Ken Nardine
You can hear the depth of his voice
He's eating the microphone
He's really taken advantage of the new technology
of condenser mics to whisper
He used to do what he'd call word jazz
Which was an extreme of conscious
poetic talk over jazz music.
Now he didn't invent that, he was a white yank.
So in the 1950s he would have had the opportunity to have the platform to popularize it,
but free form word jazz would be an African American art form.
You'd want to be going back to the Harlem Renaissance there in the 1920s.
The likes of poets like Langton Hughes are fucking,
or fucking County Cullen.
And you can go even farther than that back to the Gryots,
the Gryot poets of West Africa.
And when I'm writing this podcast,
they always wanted to have
the hypnotic condenser hum of Ken Nardine
mixed in with the irrational madness
of a fella from the 1930s called Tom Linnan
who really embraced the confusion and anxiety.
of Hiberno English as a literary farm.
Just listen to the state of this.
Listen to this.
He's just trying to describe
how to go to the mart and sell a pig.
In the old days,
you're going down to the fair
at an early hour in the morning.
The fair at that time you started
from 4 o'clock in the morning, 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock,
whatever, but the early hour,
it didn't like the time of snow
that you can go in it to mart at 10 o'clock.
but the people
learned that time
that time
they'd have to get up at
4 o'clock
head up for
Milton might be fair
in at 5 o'clock
while you'd stand there
hours
before a man had come
and ask you
how much did you want
for the beast
you was going to sell
What an absolute lunatic
You could be waiting
hours
before a man had come
and ask you about the beast
that you're going to sell
and he's
talking about? He's talking about the last art of doing fuck all. He's nostalgic for a time
when in order to sell a pig you had to wait around for six hours doing nothing. Not unlike them
the markets today as he says where you can wander in at 10 o'clock in the morning whenever the
fuck you like and sell your pig or sell your beast as he calls it. Back in my day he says the people
earned their time. They got up at four in the morning and
and waited all day to sell the pig.
The lost art of doing fuck all.
And what have we got today?
It's me saying, oh well in my day,
you'd know social media.
You had no social media.
So if you were listening to Slipknot
and you wanted other people to know that you liked Slipknot,
you had to wear a Slipknot hoodie
and you had to walk all around town in a Slipknot hoodie
and hope that you meet another person
who's wearing a Slipknot hoodie
and you might meet each other
and have a chat about Slipknot.
And then that person might tell you about 9 inch nails
and before you know it,
you're in buying a 9 inch nails CD.
But anyway, that's Tom Linnan.
A folk singer, a folk singer from Milltown, Malbein, Claire,
who'd also be, I don't know what you call him a sheniki,
but he does a bit of spoken word on his albums.
That type of mad shit.
But I strongly recommend listening to his stuff
if you want to hear some Irish grandfather ASMR.
He's got a great album online.
called the folk songs of Westclair.
What was I talking about?
Trying to get to the bottom of radio DJ voice.
You know, I'm coming up with nothing.
I've spoken to people who've studied
broadcasting in college
and they've all said to me,
look, we've been told to speak this way
but I can't figure out the reason.
I mean, so condenser mics
start becoming a thing in the 50s,
then I think the 1970s you start to get F.
M broadcast. This widened the frequencies that people could hear on their radios, but regarding
the style of radio DJ voice, I reckon it has something to do with a live setting.
So your radio DJs in the 70s and 80s most likely started off as like DJ DJs in clubs.
Now when you're in a crowded room, you've got a large speed.
speaker system, there's music, people are drunk, people are dancing. Now you literally have to speak in a strange way in order to be hard and in order to have a symbiotic relationship with the music that's playing. So then you get your coming up now up on the dance floor. Everyone up dance, dance on the dance floor. Now that makes sense. That's that's performance. That's site specific. It's performance. It's performance.
performance, it has a relationship with music, it's appropriate to the space.
That's not weird. There's musicality in that. That's not strange. But I'm guessing,
and this wasn't just fucking Ireland, this was England, America, the whole shebang.
These personalities who were able to get people dancing on the floor,
they then logically progressed to the radio, where they just still kept talking that way.
And then the context is removed.
They're fading the music in and out.
They're speaking over the music.
It's new tune from Abba coming up, guys.
And it reminds you of maybe being in the club.
But then the music starts to disappear
and now you just have a person talking like this
in the mornings to keep people awake.
Like I've been in these studios.
I've been in 2 FM studio in the morning
or fucking Today FM or BBC radio in the morning.
for morning radio
a lot of the presenters aren't allowed to sit down
they have to stand up
because their job there
is to bring a club energy
to people's fucking mornings
so it's been so
far removed from its original context
that it's now just incredibly strange
and now that we have podcasts
now that we have podcasts
you go from this one broadcast voice
to a suppose fucking narrow cast
a narrow cast voice
we have
like I wouldn't be allowed
on the radio
I would not be allowed
to speak
the way that I speak
not even fucking radio
the documentary
that I made recently
the one that won
the fucking award
for best presenter
right
my biggest fight
was I refuse to do
TV presenter voice
it's not happening
I understand
that there's a tone
and an intonation
that TV presenters have
when they deliver information,
I'm not fucking doing it.
I'm going to narrate this documentary
the way that I speak on my podcast.
I'm going to slow down and push and pull the words
and extract the prose in my fucking words.
And I'm going to say fucking on the document.
I'm going to say fucking
if that's what feels right
during the narration of this documentary
and that's non-negotiable
and that's what I did.
There's one piece of the voice over.
I call the Seagull, a cunt.
and that
that made it all the way
to the top of RT
and they were like
you can't do that
and I let him have it
because I'm like
okay fair enough
fair enough
and I changed it
to a cunt of a seagull
to a cot of a seagull
and it still worked
the prose still worked
I let him have that
because I refuse to abide
by a vestigial farm
I can't
I fail to see the reason
I don't see the reason
this is a documentary
about Christianity
So much has been said about the Irish monks, but who were they?
We only do that because it's agreed upon and it feels familiar,
but it might not be relevant to the specific context of the documentary.
So challenge the fucking thing.
I'm not sucking my own dick here.
I'm not sucking my own float.
But I have been, I've been reflecting on that award and just wondering,
Jesus, thousands of documentaries entered that competition.
Why did my strange documentary,
in Ireland about Irish Christianity, such an underdog topic. How did that possibly, how did that
win? How did it even get fucking nominated? And I think, I think one thing I did, which might
have made it stick out from the crowd, is instead of following the established language of television,
I followed the language of podcasting, whether that be the style of narration that I was doing
are the fucking interviews that I was doing.
There's a way that you're supposed to interview people
on television and radio.
There's a format, and the format is
you have a list of questions
and you don't allow the person that you're interviewing
to veer away from the topic of the question.
Keep bringing them back, keep bringing them back
and never ever allow the conversation to wonder,
keep bringing it back to the sheet of questions in front you.
Now, I reject that.
I reject it and I tell you why.
That exists from a time when radio interviews and television interviews were recorded onto tape, literal physical tape.
So if you went off topic, it meant that you had to edit that tape.
But in the 60s, 70s, even the fucking 80s and very early 90s, editing that tape meant an editor
had to sit down for hours with a razor blade, a fucking razor blade, and had to cut pieces of tape,
which is unbelievably expensive and expensive to the point that it's unthinkable.
So if you're doing an interview back then where it's going down on tape, do not deviate.
Stay on topic, bring the person that you're chatting to, bring them back on topic all the time,
never wander, never converse
because it'd be so expensive to edit it
but what you lose there is relaxation.
We don't exist in that universe anymore.
You make a piece of television now or a piece of radio
you edit digitally, it takes two seconds
but yet radio and television still operates under conventions
as if someone has to physically edit that tape with a razor blade.
So when I was doing that documentary
and I'm sitting down with academics.
I'd another fucking rule.
I said, we're going to record this interview.
Like I'm doing my podcast.
Put on three cameras, roll them.
I might have one or two questions,
but if I'm sitting down across from an academic
and their area of expertise is in 12th century chalises,
if the conversation drifts towards corn flakes,
don't intervene, let it happen.
Let's talk about fucking corn flakes.
Don't bring the conversation back on topic.
Allow it to wonder.
Edit the corn flakes out afterwards.
It'll take two seconds and let the conversation naturally come back to 12th century chalises.
And you see, what happens then is the conversation becomes very fluid and natural and relaxed.
And now the person that you're speaking to, they're not paranoid about being on camera.
They're not thinking, they're not, they're not thinking about how to talk, they're simply talking.
And now a very relaxed expert is engaging authentically with the subject that they're so passionate about
that they've dedicated their lives to becoming an expert in it.
And then from that you get a piece of television that feels different and you don't know why.
And if TV commissioners come to me and they go, we don't like the way you're doing interviews,
I give them that full thesis
the full thesis on razor blades
and tape editing
and they go
that's you're dead right
I don't have an argument against that
but back to the radio
DJ voice
I mean
I don't think I can just do one
podcast on this
this is going to be a subject
that I'm just going to have to dip in and out
of once every six months
because it's my white whale
it escapes me
I mean what the fuck is
this? Who talks like this in
real life, guys? Who actually
talks like this in real life?
Nobody. It's
utterly mad. It's fucking
nuts. Why isn't that
in the DSM as some type
of noradvergence?
And that's just the Irish one.
Every single country
and region has
decided and agreed upon its own
utterly bizarre
radio DJ voice
and technology can't fully
something I have thought of is
I think it's possible
I think I'm onto something
with the
this tradition started in nightclubs
needing to speak over a crowd
needing to be hard
I think a good cultural
analogue here might be
the town crier
in cities throughout history
wasn't just the European thing
you had a person called
the town crier
and it was an incredibly
important job
it was a person
they were an officer
an officer of
the monarchy or of the court
and their job was to
announce things publicly
to large crowds
a really important fucking job
and they had a way
of speaking
you still have town criers today
but they're ceremonial
they're engaging in a heritage art farm
they're no longer
relevant
town criers
survived for thousands of years and then they stopped.
Let's just take England as the example.
They stopped in the 1920s.
Radio.
Radio.
Town criers stopped being functionally relevant when radio became a thing
and radio announcers became a thing in the 1920s.
But I'm going to play you a clip now of like an actual town crier
from this recording is from 1939 in Cornwall.
Now this is from a town.
Cryer competition. So what you have here is this. You're hearing, the town crier that you're
hearing is where the radio DJ is now, right now in this moment. So these are town criers and it's
their actual job, but this job is disappearing. So now they're at a town crier contest. It's going
from something that was once relevant into now not being relevant and becoming performative. And I'm
going to play you a little bit of the radio announcer
too, just so you can hear
the tinny voice, the tinny nasal
voice that they had in the 1930s
before condenser voices
and then you'll hear the recording of the actual
town crier.
Yet, but here is the winner, Mr. V.T. Johnson of Foy Cornwall.
So let her go, maestro.
Oh, yes! Oh yes!
It's known
to all present
that the decision of the judges rest upon the clarity, volume, method of interpretation
and quality of tone displayed by us, the four finalists in this national contest.
So that's 1939, and what's beautiful about that particular clip, because it's a town crier contest,
your man is listing out the criteria for what makes a good town crier, and he mentions, like,
tone and clarity. And his way of speaking is as strange as a radio DJ. It's as removed from
everyday speech because it's functional. It's functional. He needs to speak in those tone, clarity,
elongated, loud words so that a massive crowd can hear what he's saying. It's a functional type
of speech. And what's even more fascinating still is when he announces him,
himself. He says, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Now that's amazing because, so that's 1939.
Oye is spelled O Y-E-Z. What the fuck is that? What type of word is that? Because that's not English.
Oh yeah, it's Norman. It's old Norman French. It's not even French. It's Norman.
and oh ye means hear ye but Norman French
that comes to England in 1066 with the Norman invasion
because you have to remember in England, in England, Scotland and Wales
Posh people spoke a version of French
well up to like the 1600s because this was the language of the court
the fucking ruling class were effectively French they were fucking Normans
and English was gutter speech
this was the language of the common people.
But what does that tell you about the power and importance of a town crier
where the word, oh yeah, that doesn't even fucking mean anything anymore?
That that survives a thousand years from 1066 up until 1939.
Oh yeah.
And even the phrase, don't shoot the messenger.
That was a real thing that had to be said.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
I mean, what really killed the town crier?
Okay, radio was that ended them.
But literacy, literacy.
When people, at the Industrial Revolution,
the common person starts to learn how to read.
So now you're able to get your nose from notices or from newspapers.
But before that, the average person couldn't read.
So you relied upon this person who was a messenger of the court,
who would come to your village and deliver incredibly important.
important news, news about a war, news about a famine, news about disease.
And if the town crier delivered bad news, people would kill him.
People would kill the messenger.
I mean, it's the 14th century equivalent of arguing with someone in the Facebook comments, I suppose.
You had Facebook daz and irrationality and mass panic back then, but it was just that man there is telling us bad news, let's
kill him. It was so widespread that to kill a town crier was, it was considered treason. It was
considered treason, which was the highest fucking punishment hung drawn and quartered shit. But I do see
a relationship and a parallel between the town crier and the radio DJ. Based upon my theory
that radio DJs once served the purpose. When the radio wasn't there, the purpose that they
served was to speak
in a performative, musical
way in a nightclub between
tracks to get people's attention.
Then they're removed from that
site-specific context and thrown
onto the radio and now
it just sounds weird. It sounds
a person who's having a chat like this
on the radio. A person
who's speaking like this all day long.
It sounds as
absurd as
that town crier sounds.
It's that absurd. It got me thinking
about other forms of speech, other forms of speech that are site-specific, serve a very specific
function, are utterly bizarre and only work within a specific context.
And what came to mind was the way that people speak at cattle auctions.
Like, listen to this.
Now that's a recent clip. That's only from a couple of years ago. It's from the north of Ireland. And that's someone selling a cow. Or that's someone auctioning a cow at a cattle auction. And that's that's someone auctioning a cow at a cattle auction. And that's it's the anxious poetry of capitalism. As strange as that speech is.
which I would argue it's just as ridiculous as a 2 FM DJ,
but as strange as that speech is it serves a very specific purpose.
And it's been studied in anthropology.
It's the music of capitalism.
It's the rapid speech, that rapid rhythmic speech,
and the context, the context is everyone's bidding.
Everyone is bidding for a cow.
It creates a sense of urgency and inevitability and anxiety.
and this pushes the bids up.
The urgency makes you want to bid higher.
The inevitability makes you think it must go higher
and it creates anxiety in the consumer and the person's spending.
Interestingly, where you also hear this combination
of urgency and inevitability,
you hear it in the right-wing grifter.
Listen to how Ben Shapiro speaks.
Listen to how Charlie Kirk used to speak.
Especially when Charlie Kirk used to do Bible shit when he'd talk Bible verses.
A good right-wing grifter.
They're smart.
They're able to use their words.
They're able to recount information.
But they do it really, really, really quickly.
Ben Shapiro, listen to him.
Really, really quick facts with a tone of inevitability.
So it's manipulative.
It prevents you from critically engaging with the fact that they're talking out of their hopes.
Also what the auction, the cattle auction chanting,
What that does is you don't get to stop and think.
You don't get to pause and think and wonder.
Do I want that fucking cow?
Not a hope you're being machine-gunned, machine-gunned constantly with speed.
It puts the buyer under pressure.
And then what it does quite interestingly is
it reduces certain words to just noises to fillers, to fillers.
There is yabidabadoo in the middle of it.
There's non-words.
There's just things that sound like words,
and then what's enunciated are the figures.
Do I hear 30?
Do I hear 40?
Do I hear 50?
Yab-dab-dab-doo da, do I hear 60.
Bizarre speech,
bizarre speech, which is perfectly acceptable in that,
in those circumstances and that context,
but also perfect for that context.
And the only time I've seen it,
something similar out of that context is, like I said,
the right-wing grifter,
the fast-talk and right-wing grifter.
And it's not intentional, but it does, it harks back to the little speech from Tom Lennan that I played earlier because Tom Lennon in Ireland in the 30s, he's from Milltown Malbey.
He's talking about the Milltown Malbe Fair, in Clare, which was a cattle auction.
And he's saying, in my day, you would go to the catal auction, you'd bring your beast to sell, and you'd wait around all day.
You'd earn your time.
You'd wait around to sell your beast.
And what he's complaining about
is how nowadays the waiting is gone.
You just show up and you sell the pig.
And his little speech there,
it's a Marxist critique.
He's critiquing what he doesn't like about capitalism.
He's basically saying,
I remember when this mart and cat auction in Midtown Malbey,
yeah, you're setting a pig, but it wasn't about that.
It was about the culture.
It was about the experience.
It was about the in-between, the waiting around, who you might meet, what you might do, what chats you might have, just waiting to sell your pig.
Now that's been stripped away and financialised and now you're just selling pigs.
And Tom Lennan would probably die a shock now if you'd have heard a modern catalogue cheneer.
Another thing I wonder about when it comes to understanding the roots of radio DJ voice and situating it within the nightclub space.
is
there's a very unique noise
that bouncers make
when they're clearing the club
I have a very detailed thesis
about bouncer noise
so before I get into that
let's have the ocarina pause
okay I don't have my ocarina
let's not
let's not worry about that
I'm not feeling very
ocarina-ish
the past few months
I do have a storm lighter
because there's a storm outside
storm bram
country bram
I'm going to click this storm lighter
and you're going to hear some adverts for bullshit
okay, here we go
Oh yeah
sure not to burn myself
I use this for smoke and cannabis
I actually don't do that
that much anymore
very very rarely
very rarely do I do that
and nothing against it
it's just
it's only enjoyable
when it's rare and occasional
for me anyway
some people like it all the time
are just like
an occasional little treat
every couple of months
probably have to do a legal disclaimer
there
that was a piece of fiction
in a fit
I'm talking about a fictional universe there
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And if they want to advertise, they do so on my terms, because this is listener funded.
Also, social media is collapsing. It's collapsing. The algorithm is now an AI algorithm on
Instagram, Twitter's fucking gone, Facebook is gone. So, if you like this podcast, recommend
it to a friend, recommend it to a friend in real life.
That genuinely helps.
Upcoming gigs.
So I've got the month of December off.
I take December off because I don't want Christmas parties showing up to my live podcasts.
They're a bit disruptive to spoken word gigs.
So my next gigs aren't until January.
A lot of these gigs are setting out quickly because people are purchasing them as Christmas presents.
Thank you so much to everybody who's buying tickets as Christmas presents.
That's very kind.
thank you. So the first gig that I have in 2026 is on the 23rd of January in Waterford in the
Theatre Royal. Then I'm up in Nace at the Spiris of Kildare Festival. Vicker Street then in February
which is a Wednesday night gig I believe that's very nearly sold out all right last tickets for
that same with Belfast Waterfront very few tickets going for that that's on the 12th of
February Galway Leisureland few tickets
left for that on the 15th
I'm just going to cover the ones that I'm contractually
obligated for right now
fucking cork opera house there and
is that March
and then University of Limerick
Concert Hall in my home city there in April
then
a lot of gigs in the middle of that right but
I'm not contractually obligated right now
at the UK tour on
October 26 long way
away but still
the fuck's sake I'm coughing like a cunt
sorry
UK tour
October
26 right
these are actually selling quite quickly
even though it's a year away
Brighton
Cardiff
I hate calling it the fucking UK
England, Scotland and Wales
there's nothing united about it
my apologies
Brighton
Cardiff
Coventry
Bristol
sorry
Guildford
London
Glasgow Gateshead
Nottingham
And I'm sorry to say
I'm not gigging in Leeds
I announced an imaginary gig in Leeds there
A couple of weeks back
What's up at my throat
Fucking ghost of Princess Diana
Trying to silence me in my gutlet
I'll drink some sparkling water there
And exercise my throat
Of the ghost of Princess Diana
Who is the sight
What's around my problem?
Princess Diana. Who'd be haunting my throat if the fucking Mountbatten. Mountbatten the
bousy bastard would give me a good haunting, I'd say. The prick. Any more gigs? Asher
that's it. Look. Let's move on to my thesis. My bouncer thesis. So there's a noise that
fascinates me. A noise that we'd all be quite familiar with if you've ever been in a
club or a late bar. It's the end of the night, the lights go up and then you hear,
lads, can we get out to, up, do not, dafto, d'aps!
Lads can we get off to lapped doze? And I'm enamoured by that noise. Now that's the
noise of the Irish bouncer. It's not a limerick thing. I spent three years gig in the nightclubs
of Ireland.
I'm talking
2010, 2011,
fucking recession.
Dark shit.
Some of the most miserable days
of my life,
if I'm being honest.
Ireland built all these
huge Celtic Tiger nightclubs
into 2000s
and then the recession hits
into 2008
and they all start collapsing.
And I was gigging them all
up and down the country
from fucking Longford to Carlo.
I gigged.
them all. And what made
the gig so depressing was, so
the nightclubs, this is, let's
say 2011, nightclubs are
collapsing, right, ready to close
down. The recession is hitting
hard. You go to somewhere like
Carlo or Litrum, and they have
this big fancy nightclub.
But half the young people have
emigrated, and the ones that are left,
they don't have any fucking money.
So people are showing up to the
nightclub very, very late
at like 11. So I'm
booked to do the gig at 8pm but then the owner is like there's nobody here there's no one here
you have to push it push it push it and then i'm not on stage until maybe one one a m because then the
nightclub fills up and it fills up with very drunk angry people like there's even music from that
period the genre is now called recession pop and i'm talking riana lmf ao pit bull
I know these songs inside out, and if they ever come on my earpads and I hear them on like on headphones, the songs sound different.
I'm like, why does this sound different?
It's because I'm used to hearing it 15 years ago in a completely empty nightclub.
Like there's a song called Starships by Nikki Minaj, since chills up my spine.
I only know that song with the loud reverberated echo of an empty nightclub.
But anyway, for fucking three years.
For three years
I'm there
When the nightclub ends
Packing up my stuff
Ready to get into a very depressing car
Back to Limerick
At 2, 3 in the morning
And I would listen
The lights go up
The music stops
The first thing you hear
Is that the smash of glasses
Being put away
And then a gaggle
Lads
Can we get up to that after after that days
Can we get up to that after after after
days?
the universal noise of bouncer and
first off it sobers you up
because it does more than sober you up
it opens up other senses
when you hear that chant
your other senses suddenly
you become aware of smells in the nightclub that you didn't smell
you become aware of the smell of cigarettes
the smell of drink the smell of the carpet
the smell of sweat
the lights are extra bright
I could never understand
I'm like did all the bouncers go to
bouncer college and agree upon this
fucking noise
how in every single club
in all of Ireland
it transcends accents
they just have this one noise
lads can we get upda
da da da da da da da days
the town crier is present
in the lineage of that chant
the club
DJ is present
because it's in the club and they're trying to cut through the gaggle, that noise, the crowd.
But also it's the threat of violence.
It's not particularly threatening.
It's not aggressive.
The bouncers aren't aggressive when they're doing it.
They're not even angry.
It's much more of a sigh.
It's a sigh.
It's like, I'm at work.
I am at work.
And the people behind the bar are at work.
And I know you're having fun, but for us, this is work.
and now our work is ended
and we all want to go to bed
and when you hear it
it carries authority
because it's like
the only people who are shouting that
are the people who have the authority
to physically remove you
if you don't listen to it
and let's dissect the phrase
lads can we get
a da da da da da da da day
I think what's being said is
lads
can we get up tonight
can we get out tonight please
like the way the catalogue
auctioneer uses gibberish or the way the town crier is saying, oh yeah, oh yeah, lads, can we get
a-da-da-da-da-days, is stripped of all words and language and now it's purely tonal.
And we don't have a lot of that type of tonal communication in the English language.
What it reminds me of is so something I would love to understand, but I don't understand
because I don't speak the languages, but in West Africa, there's several tonal languages
where meaning is communicated not necessarily by the words that are being used, but the specific
tones. And because of that, in some West African cultures where languages are tonal,
where meaning is communicated through tone, they were able to use drums to actually
to communicate information across large distances. Now I'm going to play with a little bit of
a clip of a West African drummer explaining this and showing you an example because I think
the bouncer noise is a tonal, a tonal form of communication that doesn't use words.
Drums are not only musical instruments.
They are also a means of communication.
People talk to each other by using drums.
Many African languages are based on high and low sounds.
For example, when the Ashanti's say, good morning, it sounds very.
like this.
Mahi, machi, machi.
It can also be said by a drum that can be both high and low sounds.
The pitch of the drum is changed by pressing on it.
The saita is signaling, a lion is near the village.
The sound saying, run, run!
I mean, I find that fascinating.
And that's in the areas that we now call like Cameroon parts of Nigeria.
You've got these tonal languages and the literal capacity to communicate through drums
because the drums can replicate those tones.
And just as an aside that, that's one of those things that has me fascinated.
I adore rap music.
And rap music is, it's folk music.
It's folk music of African-Americans.
But African American people had their history stolen from it, wasn't written down.
So a lot of African foundational black American people, they, they don't know where their
enslaved ancestors came from.
And Africa is huge.
So they have this vague, they just kind of know probably somewhere in West Africa.
And that's as far as they can trace it.
And you're going back 400 years.
But what I find so beautiful about rap as post-colonial resistance, your ancestors 400 years ago had a culture and practice where they turned drums into words and the ghost of that practice manages to survive through the generations until you get rap, which is where you turn words into drums and the power of that.
as artistic expression would knock a horse.
But what I wonder about, what I would wonder about
when I'd hear that universal bouncer eyes,
lads, can we get up-da-da-da-da-down?
The words have been removed.
You can't decipher it, you can't write it down,
you can't turn it into a sentence.
It's pure tone, it's percussive,
it's almost drumming,
but it carries massive meaning, huge meaning,
It's very powerful.
We all know that sound.
We know it.
Even when I'm doing it here on the podcast, I promise you,
especially if you had a few drinks last night,
someone got the fear.
It's very powerful.
I've tried to ask bouncers about it.
I've never gotten a great answer off.
It's felt...
I've gone to bouncers and said,
that noise, that noise there.
Can you tell me about that?
And I can tell it.
It felt intrusive.
Like, they've never thought about it.
And no one has shown it to them.
It's just this thing that's been agreed upon.
And another thing, too.
I know that every fucking country that has bars has that noise.
Every, I've heard it in England, I've heard it in America, I've heard it in fucking Australia.
Now, not that exact one.
Different countries and different cultures, they have their own sounds, but it's the same shit.
it's a wordless noise that does that exact job
and the thing is it's disappearing
and what I would say to anyone out there
if you're a folklorist
if you're a practicing folklorist or
if you're studying folklore in college
and you want a fucking a good master's project
nightclub spaces are disappearing
because of neoliberalism
all right property has become increasing
and he financialised.
Like, I watched it happen.
I was there.
I was there at the recession.
I was lucky enough to grow up in the Celtic Tiger.
When I was in my fucking 20s,
post-agrophobia and I was able to go out
and go for a pint and go to nightclubs,
I swear to fuck.
When we were 22, 23,
you went out at 7 o'clock
and you drank pints
that you purchased in the nightclub.
a pub for a good three hours and then you went to the nightclub at half nine and that was normal
and it was affordable. Two euro pints, two euro pints of Bavaria and free shots, free fucking
shots because the nightclub wanted you to come in. All right? I saw that dismantle. In 2010 I watched
that dismantle and what happened was young people, that's when the house party became a thing.
That's when pre-drinking became a thing. Pre-drinking was not a
thing when I was in my 20s. Why would you bother? Pre-drinking was what you did in the pub at
7 o'clock because it was affordable. Pre-drinking started in the early 2010s, where people would get
shit-faced at home, drink all the drink at someone's gaff, and then leave and go to the nightclub
at 11 just to meet someone from the opposite sex or the same sex. To fuck someone. You went to the
nightclub to have sex with people at 11 o'clock. Then 2015,
come into it, fucking Tinder or what have you.
Now the nightclub is no longer an essential space
to meet someone to have sex with.
So from there you get nightclubs closing all around you.
Now those are just the cultural reasons.
Then there's the economic reasons of
people just simply not having the fucking money.
Pines, taxis, rent being 40% of your wages.
Going out just isn't affordable anymore.
Okay, it just isn't affordable.
Then the pandemic hits
and now you've a generation
of people in their early 20s
who had three years of a pandemic
who just went to house parties
and now they don't have a cultural context
of even going to late bars
or going to fucking clubs.
So this culture is disappearing
and you're getting less and less bouncers
and this is what I'm saying.
That noise
Lance can we do it up to depth it up there's
it's universal
It's a song, it's important, it communicates meaning.
The fact that you can't go on to YouTube and listen to it,
I'm not sure anyone's really written about it.
When I'm talking about it here in this podcast,
I'd say there's a lot of people going,
oh yeah, oh, that thing.
It's across cultures, a serious folklorist should be visiting
all every fucking nightclub that you can go to.
and have a microphone and record all the bouncer noises.
Record them and keep them because they'll disappear.
And they serve a very important...
It's the last vestiges of the town crier.
Like I mentioned, the town crier,
thousands of years going back to the point that they're talking norman fucking French
and then it becomes completely irrelevant.
But you see, nothing replaced the bouncer noise.
So it was still humans walking around making this tone that communicated a very powerful meaning that we all understand and it's across cultures.
And if you record all that and go to every different country, a different nightclub, you have all these noises that actually tell a story of economic collapse.
And also I think that within lads can we get a da-da-da-da-de-day.
The DNA of the radio DJ voice is in there somewhere
It's in there somewhere
The radio DJ existed in that space
Shouting over that same crowd
I'm but the bouncer was the one to end the night
With that noise
Lads can we get it de det de det de det dee
And it got me thinking about monoculture too
I've been faring off my bicycle quite a bit recently
It always happens at this time a year
in the past two weeks I've fallen off my bicycle three times
now the reason is
and I welcome it
it's the leaves
the exact point of decomposition
that all the leaves are at right now
so the temperatures that you get in December
are low enough that it slows down
the decomposition of the leaves
the leaves they break down slowly
then what happens
is the surface waxes of the leaf,
the autumn leaves that are decomposing
and are going to return to the earth.
At this point right now in December,
it's the waxes and the leaf that are left
and I believe as well as a biofilm is formed during decomposition.
Long story short, the leaves right now
are particularly slippy, very, very slippy.
And if you cycle a lot like I do
and you're going through paths that have leaves,
you're going to slip.
So it's happened three times to me
in the past two weeks.
Now I have a helmet, I have gloves,
I wear a lot of layers of Gartex,
so when I do slip off my bike,
I haven't had an injury,
just a little bruise on my knee or whatever.
But last week I slipped off my bike
and I found myself
in the middle of the city centre.
And sometimes I enjoy slipping off my bike.
It's not often you get to
lie on the ground in the city centre and get to look up.
So when it does happen, when I do fall over, I get a little bit greedy and I take about
60 seconds to enjoy lying flat on the ground and looking up at the city.
Now another slight aside, when I fell over, I got the sudden smell of dog shit and I was
like, oh no, I didn't slip on dog, that's my greatest fear.
My greatest fear is slipping on leaves because the leaf had dog shit underneath it and
and then you get dog shit on your body, on your clothes.
I've spoken about this before.
Hasn't happened in many a year.
But that last week, I fell on my back off my bike
and I got this dog shitty smell and I'm like,
what the fuck is that smell?
It wasn't dog shit.
I checked myself what it was.
It was cardboard that I had in my backpack.
Now, this is just a separate thing I want to speak about
because I can't devote an entire podcast to this.
But have you noticed?
Like right now at this time of year
We're all buying a lot of packages
Okay
Post-pandemic
Retail is also collapsing
Retail is collapsing
So we're buying packages online
And having them sent to our house
Do any of you
Have any cardboard boxes
That make your hallway smell
Like vomit or shit
Have you ever marveled at that
Ever stepped back and wondered
What the fuck is going on?
I've just purchased
The new clothes horn
And the cardboard packaging that it comes in smells like shit.
And now my whole hallway smells like shit and vomit.
What's going on here?
Well, last week when I fell off my bike and I was on my back and my bag was close to my
head and I got a little subtle smell of shit, I'm like, what the fuck is this?
And I open the bag and I'm but this cardboard smells like vomit and shit, what's going
on here?
So I had to find out.
It's recycled cardboard.
cardboard, like think of it, it comes from other cardboard. So, cardboard that might have had
meat in it or fat or, are decomposing food stuffs, this stained cardboard gets pulped and
made into new recycled cardboard and homogenized. And dairy, dairy is another one. But these
decomposed food, effectively, decomposed food, it's still
forms into, like, butyric acid.
Like, butyric acid, that's what makes vomit smell like vomit.
It's rancid butter smell.
Strong rancid butter smell.
That's butyric acid.
There's loads of that in recycled cardboard.
It's the ghosts of when that cardboard contained food that went off.
Cardboard pulp itself.
When it's being pulped, it produces hydrogen sulfide.
That's the smell of rotten eggs.
and then another one
which is called
Metal Mercaptain
which is the smell of shit
and all of these
compounds are present
in recycled cardboard
so that's why
if you're wondering
why your hallway smells like shit
and puke right now
because you ordered something online
that's why
that's just an aside
that's one investigation
that I made
what I was lying on my back
the second investigation
that I made what I was lying on my back
is
So I was in Denmark Street in Limerick
And I fell off the bike
Because I slipped on some leaves
There was no one around
And like I said
If I do fall off the bike and I'm fine
I'll get a little bit greedy
And go
Do you know what I'm going to lie here for about a minute
For about a minute
I get an opportunity to lie
On the ground in the city
Because you can't just walk down the road
And go do you know what I'm going to lie on the ground
You have to have an excuse
and slipping off your bicycle is a great excuse
to be horizontal in the city
so I just had a look around the walls
and a vision came back to me
I said Jesus Christ
these walls are empty
I remember a long time ago when they used to be full of flyers
and how this relates to the radio DJ voice thing
and how the radio DJ voice becomes
more and more pointless and absurd
as we move away from radio
we're exiting the monoculture and entering a polyculture
we're not all looking at the same movies anymore
we're not all listening to the same music
reading the same books
it's very hard for us all to agree upon
one cultural artifact I mean you have
transcendent artists like Taylor Swift
we all have a cursory awareness of Taylor Swift
at all times
but it's disappearing
billionaires are the new thing
unfortunately
like the past
since Trump got in power
you're seeing more and more
billionaires
Peter Thiel
Zuckerberg
I mean these are the new
Tom Crozes
but when it comes to
art culture
like something that's been happening
the past couple of years
some country artists
some American country artists
will headline
Croke Park
like 15, 16,000 people
30,000 people
and collectively people go
Who the fuck is that
play? Who's this person playing
Croke Park? Why is it sold out
and why have I never heard of him?
Who's listening? I don't know anyone
listening to this person
And that's not me being old
because it's not like back in 2015
where it's like Garth Brooks
Garrette because everyone
I don't know any of Garrette Brooks songs
I might know one
No, I don't know any Garret Brooks songs
friends in low places or something, very, very vague,
but I know who the fuck Gart Brooks is.
I have a cursory awareness and I can bring an image into my head of Gart Brooks.
But that's disappearing now.
Like I travel in airports,
and I've been doing this as part of my job for a long time.
And people don't buy books anymore at airports.
There was once a time when someone went on holidays,
people who don't really read would just simply be.
buy a book to take to the beach or to go on the plane or you'd buy a magazine for the plane.
That's disappearing. And after the pandemic, the first thing I noticed in airports was
the magazine and book section was about 75% smaller than it had been in the airport before
the pandemic. Books. The space that, like you're always going to have people who read books,
but that's a separate type of person. In the same way, you're always going to have people who like,
like I'm a music liking person.
I like music, but that's my
personality. You're always going to have
some people who enjoy reading or enjoy
listening the music, but I'm talking about
the general population.
Paperback books
used to be appealing to the general
population and you'd see them on people's
laps at airports. That's disappearing.
It's being replaced by
podcasts or just
scrolling on fucking Instagram and
TikTok. But because of that,
you're getting the polyculture.
people's interests are splitting off into very specific things
because of the algorithm that exists in our phones.
And when I was lying on the ground there last week,
going, Jesus, there used to be a lot of flyers around here,
and I just noticed there's no flyers anymore.
And then I went back to that street on Google Maps,
because on Google Maps you can do this thing where you look back through the years
and to test my theory, I walked around Limerick City in 2020,
2010, which is you can do that in Google Maps.
And lo and behold, there were flyers for fucking gigs everywhere.
And you see, why that's important is you get a shared cultural literacy.
So in 2010, if some comedian, if there's just a comedian or a DJ,
is gigging in Limerick City, and this can be for any city,
fucking London, Lytrum, whatever the fuck you have,
2010 there is a comedian gigging in the city
their poster is pasted everywhere all over the walls
I understand this some people might think that this was ugly
okay fair enough it was ugly back then
but the comedian or the musician or the DJ's poster
is everywhere but what that then means
is that every member of the city
then has a cursory awareness of that artist
they might not know a thing about the artist
They might know any of the arts they create, their songs, but at least their name is stuck in their head on the tip of their tongue and there's a cursory awareness, a monoculture, where at least everyone knows this thing is happening.
And what that does then is that creates communication, arguments, discussion, connection.
That, what Roland Barth would have called it, the, a city's semiotic skin.
that's what fly posting does
it brings people together
through communication because
I'll give you an example right
2006
the artist Dead Mouse
played a nightclub in Limerick
before he was massive
and his poster was all over the city
but if you know Dead Mouse you know that his name
is spelled Dead Mow 5
so everyone in Limerick was talking about
Dead Mow 5 going who the fuck
is Dead Mow 5 it's not Dead Mow 5
it's dead mouse
and at least you have connection there.
You have the fabric of community.
People are speaking about one thing.
It's monoculture.
But the flypost and disappeared.
For a couple of reasons, laws came in.
Space has disappeared where cultural things were happening,
but it retreated to the fucking algorithm.
You see, around 2010, the nightclubs were like,
I don't need a budget now to print out all these posters
and pay someone to put them on the one.
wall or even risk the fine for putting them on the wall, because now I can advertise on Facebook.
And now we've all retreated into our separate interests through the algorithm and have less
in common to communicate with each other about. And I think that's a bad thing, because our
society is quite polarised. But the eureka moment that I had when I was lying on the ground,
it's something that I've been bringing up a lot on this podcast, especially post-pandemic.
And it's something I've, I can't understand about my own career, you see, because this is my job, I do fucking gigs.
Something I haven't been able to understand is how myself and artists like myself can gig and sell out venues and then not be famous at all.
It's a very, very strange thing.
and it's post-pandemic.
I've been doing this for 25 fucking years.
I've had dips, I've had highs.
I can't understand how...
Like, let's just take Edinburgh.
I did a gig in Edinburgh about six months ago.
I sold out Usher Hall.
That's...
I think it's the largest seated venue in Edinburgh.
I mentioned at the time.
Osher Hall was so big
that when I used to gig Edinburgh to 150,
50 people 15 years ago or 13 years ago, I would look at Oshar Hall and just never even consider
it as a possibility for somewhere that I would gig.
It was beyond my dreams, didn't entertain it, that would have been silly.
But when I used to see venues like that getting sold out 13 years ago, it's like,
oh, Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr, Peter K, you could walk into a pub in Edinburgh and be like,
Oh, Jimmy Carr has sold out Oshar Hall tonight.
And then everyone in the pub would go,
oh, yeah, that fella.
And some people would be like, oh, I really know his material.
And then other people would be like,
I don't know much about him, but I have a cursory awareness of his existence.
In 2025, I can sell out that same venue,
but you could walk into any pub in Edinburgh and say,
Blind Boy is playing in Oshar Hall.
He's sold it out, and most people in the pub will go,
Who? Who's that?
And same with fucking, like I sold out Hammersmith Apollo in London,
the Palais Theatre in Melbourne.
And it's not just me, it's loads of other artists doing similar sized venues.
And it's like, how can you sell out those venues?
But yes, not be famous.
No one knows who the fuck you are.
And same, like, those country artists in Ireland, American country artists,
and they're selling out Croke Park, which is fucking huge, 15,000 people.
And then online people are like, who the fuck is that person and who listens to them?
I've never heard of them.
How are they able to sell out Croke Park?
And the flyers, the flyers is what made me realize.
It's polyculture.
We've lost monoculture.
We no longer have a shared cultural literacy.
Like when I go and do a gig in Australia or somewhere like fucking Nottingham,
the place fills up with all of these people who are living in the same city
and then, because this gets reported to me
and messages, people DM me and go
Oh, my neighbor, I
never knew my neighbor was a fan
of your podcast and had been listening all this
time, I met them at your gig.
We retreated into these strange
private interests
and shared, the shared
culture is disappearing.
We've gone from broadcast
to narrowcast.
There's no Game of Thrones anymore.
There's no sopranos.
There's no breaking bad.
There's loads of shows that are as big that exist.
But you can't really, you can't just assume anymore.
You can't just say it to somebody.
Are you watching that?
Highly exceptional rare circumstances.
Kneecap, kneecap sticks out over the summer.
Fucking everyone knew about kneecap, but kneecap,
they transcended art over the summer and became political.
And that's why, to take it back to what I said at the start.
In my day, if you listen to Slipknot, you had to wear,
a slip-knot hoodie and walk around advertising it and if you were lucky you saw another person
wearing a slip-knot hoodie and both ye came together and spoke about slip-knot and if you were
lucky you might hear about nine-inch nails. I think that might have been my radio DJ voice podcast.
I'm not sure what that episode was about. I think I'm entering my Finnegan's Way, Keera. I'll be back
next week. What a hot take of some description. All right. Are we going to be Christmas cunts?
No, not next week.
There will be a podcast at Christmas time, of course.
I never miss a Christmas.
I might do a walking podcast.
Might do a little walking podcast for you.
I'll be doing some writing over Christmas,
some television writing or pitching television documents.
My buddy James is coming down for a writing session.
I'm sure I might have a pint as well.
All right, rubber swan, fall off your bicycle.
wink at a bouncer.
Fart of the Carlo,
that bless.
So,
you know,
You know,
I'm going to be the
I'm
on
on
on
We're going to be able to be.
And...
...that...
...and...
...and...
...you know...
...and...
You know,
I'm going to be able to
You know,
I'm going to be able to
