The Blindboy Podcast - The Passion of Silken Thomas

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

My Cat Silken Thomas has died. I reflect on his life and death via Pagan ritual, Jesus Christ, and Existential psychology Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Press your chest against the dentist's vest, you special Presleys. Welcome to the Blind Boy Podcast. I'm out of sorts this week, because unfortunately, my lovely little cat, Silken Thomas, has died. I mentioned on last week's podcast, that he was experiencing flu-like symptoms, and he was, his nose was running, his energy was down. And then after last week's podcast, he took a, last Thursday, he just took a sudden turn for the

worse. He started to kind of wander around the back garden in a delusional way and he was pressing his head against walls he wasn't eating he wasn't going into his bed it was no strange behavior now what you have to realize with this little cat silken thomas who you all know from this podcast he was a wild cat he was fully wild a feral feral cat. Him and his sister, Nappertandy, who's still alive. They both lived out my back garden, in a small little wooden hut that was made for them, with a bed inside the hut. And they'd sleep together, and I'd feed them, but neither of them were ever my cats. and I'd feed them, but neither of them were ever my cats. There was no domestication whatsoever,

even though I had a bond with Silken Thomas. And he'd slow blink at me through the glass of the door, and I'd slow blink at him, and he was comfortable around me. I could never ever touch him. I could never get closer than maybe a foot to him. Even when he was eating his dinner and he was fully absorbed in the task of eating his dinner, sometimes I used to try and put my hand down and just rub his little forehead with my finger.

And even when I did that, he'd hiss. So there was no language of physical communication between me and Silken Thomas or his sister. These cats didn't meow because adult wild cats don't meow. Kittens meow and domesticated cats will meow because they're in a state of perpetual kittenhood. But my cat Silken Thomas never meowed. And would never allow me get more than a foot close to him. No matter how much he trusted me. He didn't understand that language. Touch of any description was a threat.

He didn't have language or understanding for touch. As a means of affection. So when he got really sick last Thursday, I'm there going, right, okay, I need to bring him to a vet. I need to bring him to a vet to see if he can be saved or if he needs to be put down in a humane way. Because he's behaving like a zombie. But anytime I'd get fucking close to him to try and catch him, I even tried to catch him with a blanket, he'd get a sudden spark of energy, the instinct would take over, the adrenaline would take over and he'd run away, so I tried and tried, I couldn't catch him, it wasn't possible,

there was no way to lure him with food, there was no way, there was no language of touch between us, food there was no way there was no language of touch between us you have to remember this was this was last thursday which was monday thursday so that means the next day was good friday going all the way into fucking easter monday which is i'm recording this now on easter monday so a long fucking bank holiday weekend so on thursday even when I rang the vet which was about four o'clock in the fucking day when they're getting ready to close. I rang a couple of vets and the vets are like if you can't bring him to us there's nothing we can do for you. We don't do call outs. Then I rang the animal rescue. They weren't willing to do a call out either and animal Rescue right now are inundated with cats because all the kittens are being born in spring so last Thursday I would have had to have physically caught Silken Thomas

and then place him in a carrier and try and bring him to a vets on Good Friday I tried my best and it just wasn't happening. So after several attempts, he just got freaked out because all of a sudden now, he's really, really sick. And now all of a sudden, I'm chasing him around the place. And he doesn't understand this. We don't have this language of touch.

I've never held him. I've never rubbed him. So then I gave up on Thursday and then he disappeared. And I'm like, where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he? The next day on Good Friday. So then I couldn't find him on Good Friday. And I was feeding. So it's Silk and Thomas and then his sister, Napper Tandy. I put out their food in the morning. Nppertandy showed up to eat but no sign of Silken Thomas. Here's the other thing you have to realise about Silken Thomas.

He was deaf and partially blind as long as I've known him. Even if I had a piece of food, like warm food off my own plate, fragrant, And I threw that down in front of him. He would have to find that morsel of food. He'd have to search for it. It could be six inches away from his face, and he has to look for it. If I put a piece of meat down, and he's doing his thing to search for that food,

because he's got eyesight problems, his sister would never get involved. She would always leave it there for him. But I've seen crows and jackdaws. The crows and jackdaws are fucking smart. And if I'm in the evening throwing scraps out the crows and the jackdaws

will wait on a fence and watch. And if they saw me throwing food to Silken Thomas, they would know there's that fucking cat who can't see there's the one there's the cat with something wrong with him and a crore or jackdaw would take food from him because it would take so long

for him to find the food that was in front of his face so that's the type of cat you're dealing with very much needed to be minded it was him and his sister I couldn't even tell you what age they are very much needed to be minded. It was him and his sister. I couldn't even tell you what age they are. They could be 12.

They could be 5. I don't know. But the relationship that they had was his sister is big and strong. He's a runt. He was he had these weird eyes that never dilated he wasn't able to jump up on things he couldn't hear properly i'm guessing his eyesight wasn't the best because the continual dilation and his inability to jump so he was a very nervous cat a very frightened and scared cat

that if he was in the wild fully without my assistance without me feeding him every day he'd be fucking dead long ago but his sister used to protect him when a stray tomcat would come into the garden come into their territory she would be the one who'd fight the tomcat away silken thomas would go and hide in his bed because he couldn't defend himself because he was deaf and partially blind so he relied upon his sister for protection. He was also quite significantly thinner than she was. There was always something wrong with him. I don't know what it was. I've never been able to bring this cat to a vet because I've never been able to touch either of them or catch him but he was always a cat that was weak or

couldn't see properly was deaf a lot of things going on for this poor little boy so on good Friday there was no sign of him couldn't find him anywhere and then where their bed is, where their little hut is, where they live, because I have a small garden, but just in front of my grass outside the door, I've got decking. Shitty Celtic tiger decking that was there in my gaff when I moved in. And I hear meow. I hear a meow coming from under the decking. Now this is a cat who didn't fucking meow. This is an adult wild cat.

And here I am hearing him meowing for the first time. And I look down and there he is under the decking. He crawled in there to hide. And what broke my heart is, I just thought thought to myself if he's meowing he's looking for his mammy in his mind near the end of his life and he's ill if he's meowing he thinks he's a kitten and he's looking for his mammy which fucking broke my. Because I can't fucking do anything for him. He's under the decking. Which for me then would have meant.

Getting like a crowbar or something. Removing a beam of the decking. Which is a fair bit of work. And while I'm doing that. He would have legged it. He would have ran away. Or he would have gone to another part underneath the decking. So I look down between the slats, between the beams of the decking.

And I can see his little white fur down there. And I can also see that he's breathing. And he's meowing. And I can tell he's obviously not fucking well. But this is what cats do when they're sick. When a cat is sick. They'll go somewhere to hide. If a cat is sick and they're vulnerable.

They go somewhere to hide. So I'm figuring. Right okay there's only one or two exits to this decking. I'm going to wait around. And I'm going to wait for my opportunity. And I'm going to catch him. Then I came back out later and he was gone. I don't know where the fuck he went. Didn see him all day again and the next morning which was the Saturday

which doesn't have a name it's the Saturday after Good Friday I look down into the decking and I see his little white fur and I go down and look and this time he's not breathing. And I look and I look and I see his little paw. And it's like fuck he's dead. So on the night of Good Friday he crawled underneath the decking. And just went in there to die. He was in a sleeping position. So he died in his sleep. And I don't know what he died of. I don't know what it was.

If he wasn't wild. if he wasn't feral like he he was neutered so this was a wild cat but he had been neutered and his sister at some point in their lives I live in an area with a huge amount of stray cats so they had been trapped So they had been trapped. TNR, trapped neutered release. That's what these cats were, trapped neutered release. When they were younger and then as adults they found me. They came to me while Silk and Thomas came first. Lots of stray cats had been passing through my back garden.

And one day Silk and Thomas showed up by himself this little white cat and the first time I saw him he had this he had this startled look on his face at all times the look on his face said I can't do this on my own and when I learned that he was deaf and that he had eyesight problems then his face started to make sense to me. Everything was a threat to him. If something frightening happened, he couldn't run away. He couldn't scurry away the way cats normally can. It might take him a while to figure out that there was a threat.

And then he'd difficulty jumping fences. So the trauma of being a deaf cat with bad eyesight had ingrained itself into his facial expression so that he was frightened all the time. So I was drawn to him when I first saw him. I wanted to help him. So I gave him food and he ate it and then he came back the next day. Except this time he had another cat with him who looked the exact same his sister Nappertandy then I feed them scraps then I'm like fuck it they're not going anywhere I start buying them cat food then I put a little a cat house in there for him and probably in my mind at the time I was thinking lovely pair of cats now I love I love giving them a home I love giving them safety it's hard for a

cat and I was probably hoping that they would eventually domesticate and come into my gaff and just be like regular house cats that never happened they were too old when I met them so the relationship was very egalitarian we'll say if I was out my back chilling out both of them would always come near me and sit sit close to me but not so close that I could touch him which to me meant I'm part of their crew they saw me as one of their crew and I'd get lots and lots of slow blinking loads of slow blinks but never rubbing against my leg me meowing, any of that stuff. Very different relationship, the relationship you have with a pet house cat who trusts you. But if he'd have been in some way, shape or form domesticated, like you couldn't even trap these cats, like not pretending he was sick last year.

You couldn't even put food into a cat box and hope that they would go in there and then trap them with it. These cats had been trapped before when they were kittens to get neutered. They wouldn't do it. They were smart. You could not trap these cats. They belong to the wind. But if he had been a bit domesticated, I might have been able to catch him on the Thursday and bring him to the vet and either have him cured or have him put down humanely so that he didn't have to die in his sleep. So I had to leave his body down there because this is decking you see. It's that Celtic tiger fucking decking shit. So, I had to leave his body under the decking for a day,

and then a buddy of mine called out, yesterday, to remove a beam of the decking, to take Silken Thomas' body out, and then hammer the decking back, because I'm shit at making things, I'm shit at, I'd be shit at DIY,

so if I tried to take, a beam of the decking out myself, I'd break the decking and a pelican would land on my head. So I needed help. And even like I said to my ma, I'm going to have to take him out from under the decking and dig his grave. And my ma says to me, you don't have the ankles for digging a grave, which is the darkest and most macabre piece of body shaming I've ever received. But there was also a beautiful portrait of the image of that because my ma is older. digging was a profession when it was when it was men with shovels who needed big strong ankles to wedge into the clay

like the stabilisers on a JCB. So my pal came along and he went to the beam of the decking and wedged it open with a crowbar pulled it off and there was poor little Silken Thomas

with his little white fur curled up like he was asleep, completely still. And I had a good look at his ears and his paws and as I was doing it I was realising this is the closest I've ever been to him. This is the longest I've ever gotten to stare at his paws, to examine his ears, to see the pink of his skin underneath the white fur. Details you'd take for granted with a domestic cat who sits on your lap. Now his sister, Napartandi, she'd basically fucked off.

She was just like, I don't know what's going on, but there's also a new person in the garden I'm gone she didn't stand around to witness us exhuming her brother so I decided to that this this procedure needed care

and dignity to give the poor little fella dignity and respect and death I know it's a fucking cat I know it's a cat and cats don't need funerals, but it's not about that with me. It's about the meaning that that

Silken Thomas brought to my life. Here's a simple example. Any time over the fucking pandemic or whatever, if I'd be having mental health difficulties, if I was feeling anxious, if I was feeling anxious, if I was feeling upset, if my head was caught in a loop of worrying about the future or worrying about the past, if I wasn't in the present moment and I was suffering and I'd walk into my kitchen and then I just see him. I see him outside and his sister. And they're looking for food.

Or my favourite one was if it was sunny and I could just see him lying on his back. Stretched out with his lovely soft white belly pointed up towards the sun. Because he was such a nervous, terrified cat. When I'd look out my kitchen window and see him stretched out with his belly up towards the sun, it would draw me into the present moment of my own emotions. Something that I've done has created an environment where this nervous, frightened cat is at ease and relaxed and feels safe enough to be vulnerable. For a cat to lie on its back with its belly towards the sun, that's a cat who feels safe. Nothing is going to happen to me here.

My sister's over there, and this man who gives me food every day and who slow blinks at me, he's not going to hurt me. There's no threat here, so I'm going to lie back and let the sun hit my belly and relax and enjoy nature and be part of nature. And when I'd see that, whatever fucking email I was worried about answering,

whatever shitty thing someone had said to me on the internet, whatever worry I had about the future of my career it would dissipate in that moment and I'd be brought back down to the simple humility of existence I'd want to be like Silken Thomas I want the the human equivalent of feeling so safe within myself that I can let the sun hit my belly and in humans that state is emotional regulation so that's what Silken Thomas meant to me and that's why I wanted to make sure that he was he was buried with respect and with dignity and that some meaning was put on his existence the other thing too I'm not less I'm not necessarily grieving over Silken Thomas

I'm not in the throes of despair like I lost a cat before in 2016 this cat I raised this cat since he was a little baby since he was a kitten this cat was my baby

this was a domesticated house cat who'd crawl all over me and rely 100% on me. Kept in a state of perpetual kittenhood. Couldn't leave for a weekend without this cat being minded. When that cat died, that broke my fucking heart.

That was intense, stabbing grief for fucking ages. Like was intense stabbing grief. For fucking ages. Like I said it before. I had to do a gig. Like a week or two after that cat died. It was with the rubber bandits. I was gigging in Body and Soul.

The festival. I was crying in the middle of songs. I couldn't sing my fucking songs. Because I was crying behind the bag. Proper deep intense grief which then brought up a big load of unresolved grief and tears that were never cried from when my father died. With Silk and Thomas it's different. I don't have that intense sense of loss. He was very sick for a long time and I don't know. It might have been cat AIDS, FIV. I don't know.

But he was definitely, he was a cat that wasn't going to live to be very old. He didn't have that strength in him. He was a runt. And I'm glad that it's him that's dead and not his fucking sister. Because his sister Napartandi, she's big, powerful, healthy cat. If she fucking died, like she almost did last August when she got an abscess on her mouth, but she was fine after. If she died and he was left on his own, oh Christ, that'd be sad. He was scrawny, no matter how much food I gave him.

I'd have been worried about his ability to keep himself warm in the night time. He needed to cuddle up to his sister inside in that bed for warmth. I'm not deeply grieving for him. I'm just sad for the poor fucker. I'm just sad for the life that he had to live.

I'm sad that he was deaf and partially blind. I'm sad at the way that he had to live. I'm sad that he was deaf and partially blind. I'm sad at the way that he had to die. That I tried my fucking best to catch him but he had to die in his sleep meowing under some decking.

And his death too. And this is the thing with all death when it's close to you. Death confronts you with the chaos of nature and the chaos of reality. The lack of order, the lack of planning. The randomness of reality. And I know it confronted me with this because I started searching for meaning and whys and hows. And I couldn't stop comparing his death to the death of Christ.

Because he died on Good Friday. I had to leave him under the decking in the tomb over the weekend. And then he was exhumed on Easter Sunday. We ripped back. The beam, which was like the stone on Christ's tomb but that Celtic tiger piece of shitty wood also to me represented the crucifix now before you think I've gone mental or I'm after getting religious all of a sudden no the story of Christ is a story. It's mythology. I don't view it in any supernatural way.

I'm not a believer in it. But I'm fascinated by the story of Christ as a myth that was constructed collectively in the minds of the human animal. A myth and a story so powerful that it still exists 2,000 years on. And I'm just as fascinated about the story of Christ as I am about Cú Chulainn or Fionn MacCool or the goddess Bridget or Seánach. Christ represents the self, the sense of self. Christ is you, it's us. Christ is the human condition.

Christ is the the human condition Christ is what it is to be human when we talk about Christ hold on there's an alarm that's the Catholic church on the way in a police car to stop me talking about Christ

and comparing a dead cat to Christ when humans look at Christ we said that. The passion. Being when Christ was. Beaten. Black and blue.

And carrying his crucifix. When humans look at that. We think. We're looking at this fella called Christ. But really. We're projecting ourselves. Onto Christ. And the battering. And the beating. And the Christ. And the battering.

And the beating. And the whipping. And the blood. That's us. And the suffering of being alive. That's us. In our day to day. And the shit we have to deal with.

It's us. And our pain. Enduring the journey of living. The burden and the weight of the cross while being whipped are our anxieties, our worries, our fears, our insecurities and we are Christ and it tells us to not give up. The journey of Christ, getting the head kicked off him with the crucifix on his shoulder is something that we understand to be the necessary pain that you must

endure in life in order to attain some type of transformation some type of personal transformation and then the actual crucifixion the violence and terror of Christ being nailed to a cross and slowly dying,

the scary bit, that's us having to battle and confront things about ourselves that we don't like, that we're frightened of, our insecurities, our weaknesses, the parts of us that feel that other people are better than us, our jealousy of other people, our feeling of not being worthy of receiving love, painful moments from our childhoods that we try not to think about, what Carl Jung would call our shadow self. Things that are so powerful our mind will create defense mechanisms around. Things that we know that we must confront face and conquer in order to attain some type of transformation but to do that is so absolutely and utterly painful it's like being nailed to a cross that's what the crucifixion is and then you

have the resurrection you die after the crucifixion but ultimately you triumph over your own personal demons and then a new you emerges. The resurrection is the happier you that you'd like to be. The resurrection is who you want to be in this life

and I don't mean the part of you that wants to impress other people or to have other people envy you or the part of you that wants a better job because how you look in other people's eyes not that part the part of you that just wants to be happy to be alive that's what we all want deep deep down we just want to be happy in the present moment we want to experience the feeling of happiness and joy and love and love for other people and love for ourselves because that's what we were born with all humans are born into the world like that little babies full of love before we started to compare ourselves to other people, before we started to experience pain or hurt or rejection,

before those wounds became anger and anxiety and things you could project on others. We were all born into the world wanting nothing more than food and cuddles and warmth and love and being happy with what we had we know that feeling so that's what the resurrection is the belief that you can get to that place once again the simple mindful contentment of childhood if you can endure the suffering of being alive and confront your demons that you can finally attain self-love and self-compassion to just be fucking chilled out. Like Silken Thomas with his belly up towards the sun. That journey of Christ there,

that's the journey of going to therapy. You know, if you go to therapy, I'm going to therapy, I want change, I want to do this, I know it's going to be painful, but at the end I want to be more comfortable with who I am. It's the journey of going to fucking this. I know it's going to be painful but at the end I want to be more comfortable with who I am. It's the journey of going to fucking college. I'm going to do this. It's going to be painful. It's going to be hard. I'm going to sit exams but by the end of it I get a degree. It's the journey of going to the dentist. I have a pain in my tooth. It's agonizing. When I sit down in that dentist

chair he's going to inject me with something and it's going to be more painful. It's going to be really really unpleasant. He's going to fuck around with the inside of my mouth but by the end of it i'm going to come out and my tooth problems will be over you can apply the resurrection of christ to fucking everything because it's so simple it's a very powerful story that can allow us to understand the condition of humanity with With very powerful and vivid imagery. And it's what came back to me this weekend. With poor little Silken Thomas. That's Christ is the narrative that came jumping up at me.

When I felt the loneliness of being confronted with the chaos of nature and reality. Why did this poor little cat have to suffer in this way? If you've ever experienced sudden grief or sudden tragedy, there's a cold loneliness about it. It's a harsh, lonely truth. it's a harsh lonely truth and that truth is I'm just a bag of bones I'm just a bag of bones and this idea that I exist and that I'm me and this sense of self it's an illusion it's a hologram the world doesn't care and what's interesting there to take it back to Christianity Christianity describes hell like that what like hell in the bible now old hell in the old bible

it describes hell as the feeling of separation from God the loneliness and separation and distance that you feel from God. But for me, the loneliness that you experience when someone or something that means something to you dies suddenly. For me, it's the loneliness and separation I feel from meaning. It's the cold, hard truth that there is no meaning. There's only chaos. Poor Silken Thomas, why did he have to die? Why did my da have to die? Why do tiny children die? Why do people I love die? Why is that fair? Why is that fair? Why did this have to happen? And deep down I know that the answer is because there's no such thing as meaning reality and the universe and nature is chaos doesn't give a fuck about my feelings

and my role as a human is to find meaning within something I understand to be meaningless and that there is the definition of absurdity. Within existentialism. But that search for meaning. But we find meaning through the struggle of suffering. And that there is Christ's journey. So Silken Thomas. He fell ill. Underneath the decking. And had to do.

I don't know how long. Maybe a full night. Of dying in his sleep. And probably. Suffering. And it not being too pleasant. The passion of Silken Thomas. And then he died.

On Good Friday. Crucified. By a Celtic Tiger wooden beam. And then he lay under the decking for a day. And on Easter Sunday. He was pulled out of the decking. Except unlike Christ. He didn't fuck off and disappear.

When the decking was pulled up. Silken Thomas was actually there. He didn't disappear. Christ did. Silken Thomas was there. And we took his body. And dug his grave. In my little wildflower meadow.

I have a six foot wildflower meadow that I mentioned a few weeks back. I have a patch of garden that I sowed Irish native wildflower in to create a meadow two years ago. And Silken Thomas used to love rolling around in it. And if it was really hot he'd climb into the tall grass and lie down to get cool. So we buried him there. And that will be his resurrection. You see, this is my wildflower meadow. I'm calling it a meadow now, but it's fucking tiny.

But it's a meadow because it operates as a meadow. It's meadow flower and the insects that belong in the meadow live in this little patch. But it's April and the wildflower haven't come out yet. The wildflower won't start to emerge until mid-May I'd say. And because it's so wild and untouched, there's great life in the soil there's worms and beetles and fungi and everything you want in a healthy soil where Silken Thomas is buried and this is the bit when I was thinking about Christ

when I was thinking about the resurrection of Christ that really struck me so when they pulled Christ out of the tomb on Easter Sunday and they're like where the fuck is he? he's gone, where's Christ? that nobody is Christ wandered the earth for 40 days and then after 40 days he ascended to heaven he left up

and fucked off up into heaven right 40 days is how long it'll take Silken Thomas's body to begin properly decomposing and for the organisms of the soil to start getting involved and for insects to start getting involved and for his body to become nutrients that flow into the soil. Nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, micronutrients. The activity of worms and bugs and organisms around his body will make the soil healthier. The growth of fungi, it will assist these nutrients in finding their ways to the roots of the wildflower. And 40 days is when the wildflower will start to bloom. And Silken Thomas's nutrients that come from his decomposing body, that's what's going to feed those wildflower. That's what's going to feed those wildflower. That's what's going to feed them and make them vigorous.

Because the thing is, you don't fertilize wildflower. You don't add nutrients to wildflower. It has to, healthy native wildflower, a healthy native meadow, has to find its own nutrients. It has to develop its own biodiverse soil. But a dead cat inside there. That's pretty natural fertiliser there. Nature is going to do its thing to break

down Silken Thomas' body. And then he's going to resurrect. He'll resurrect and he'll dissipate and he'll ascend into the pistol and the pollen of a buttercup. And the daisies and the cow slip and the corn cockle. All these the daisies and the cowslip and the corncockle

all these native flowers will bloom full of silken Thomasness and the bees will visit and the butterflies will visit and they'll transport that away and pollinate other flowers or make honey and grasshoppers will visit

and beetles and that's how silken Thomas will resurrect 40 days after he's down in the soil his death can give great meaning and narrative to nature and that's what that's what flowed through my mind as i was laying him to rest that's what gave meaning to his death that's what calmed the pain in my heart i searched for purpose in the pain and found meaning via the story of christ on easter weekend and i don't view that as religious or anything like that i found the right myth at the right time let's consult artificial intelligence

so if you were listening to last week you'll know that I've I've trained an artificial intelligence model to think that it's the 19th century Irish politician Charles Stuart Parnell so let's ask Charles Stuart Parnell can we compare my dead cat Silken Thomas

decomposing and providing nutrients to wildflowers to the resurrection of Christ? So Charles Stuart Parnell says, My dear friends and fellow countrymen, in this time of mourning for the dearly departed feline Silken Thomas, we may find solace in the comparison of his earthly end to the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The process of decomposition which Silk and Thomas undergoes provides nourishment to the very soil from which vibrant wildflowers spring forth. This cycle of life, death and renewal echoes the sacred story of Christ's crucifixion and subsequent resurrection. Just as Christ's sacrifice paved the way for our salvation, Silken Thomas's

earthly remains contribute to the beauty and vitality of the natural world. So let us not merely grieve for the loss of our dear silken thomas but instead be reminded of the hope and promise of renewal embodied in the resurrection of christ don't like that bit man i put the cat before christ in this way we may find solace and inspiration in the understanding that life continues, even after the most profound loss. Beautiful words there, from Charles Stuart Parnell. So rest in peace, poor little sweet gorgeous Silken Thomas.

And every time the sun is shining over the summer, I'll be thinking about his little white belly, pointing up towards the sky. And let's not forget Nappertandy she's gonna be grand she'll be fine she's strong she's healthy she's resilient I can't tell if she's upset or sad it's difficult to glean this type of information from a cat and not to project human loss into a cat. One thing I will say is that since he's gone,

she's been jumpy and she runs away more. When I go outside to put food in her dish, she runs away, so she knows her brother is gone. She's no fucking eejit. I saw her sitting near where his body was on the decking the evening sun came down the emotion that's

going through her at the moment is fear so when I come out and she runs away I have to assume she's going I don't know what just happened but he's dead and I don't want this happening to me so I'm going to respect her space. Make sure she's got plenty of food, plenty of water.

And that all her needs are met in a material way. And let her deal with it the way that she deals with it. This was her brother. They came from the same litter of kittens. Don't know who the fuck their ma is. I don't know where they came from the same litter of kittens. Don't know who the fuck their ma is. I don't know where they came from. But what I do know is. They arrived to me as adult cats.

Proper adult cats. So she's stuck by him. She's stuck by. Her deaf brother. Who couldn't see properly. Who was without doubt a burden on her. In the context of being a wild cat. When Tomcats would come into the fucking garden to fight,

she fought them and he hid in the bed. He hid inside there and she defended that territory. Well, he didn't fight. So there's a strong relationship there. So she'll be going through whatever cats go through. I don't know. All I can do is offer food, shelter and water.

It's time now for an ocarina pause. It's a bit late for an ocarina pause there. That was 40 minutes, but fuck it. It needed to be 40 minutes. What have I got for an ocarina pause? Do I have the Puerto Rican guiro? Yes, I do. Let's have the Puerto Rican guiro pause while, I do. Let's have the

Puerto Rican guero pause while you hear an advert for something. On April 5th, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth.

Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying.

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That was an advert for something algorithmically generated, algorithmically inserted into your podcast. I don't know what the advert was for. Support for this podcast comes from you, the listener, via the Patreon page. Patreon.com forward slash TheBlindBoyPodcast. This podcast is my full-time job. This podcast is how I earn a living. It's how I pay my bills. It's how I earn a living it's how I pay my bills

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All I'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month. That's it. If you can't afford that, don't worry about it. You can listen for free. You can listen for free. And the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free you can listen for free and the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free so everybody gets a podcast i get to earn a living it's a wonderful model based on soundness and kindness and also means i'm not dependent on advertisers it keeps this podcast

fully independent it means that i can spend 40 minutes reflecting on the death of a cat and comparing it to the resurrection of Christ. And an advertiser doesn't ring up and say, we need you to start talking about Love Island. Love Island is coming up now. And we need you to start talking about Love Island more. And we need you to bring someone from Love Island on and to speak to them about Love Island.

Because if you don't, we're not going to sponsor you that's what happens it's why television is shit it's why radio is shit I don't want to deal with that I want to be listener funded and I want to show up each week and speak about

what I'm genuinely passionate about I want to be emotionally congruent I want to speak from the heart I want to speak about what I care about and I don't want to speak from the heart. I want to speak about what I care about and I don't want to give a flying fuck about how many listeners I get or adding things to attract more listeners. I just want to make something that I can legitimately stand over and that's what patrons do. That's what patrons do. Patrons protect the arts. The podcast market has been

flooded by very poor quality podcasts because loads of advertising money got into it. Thankfully now we're kind of at the end of that. Over the pandemic all these huge podcasts came about with big names made by big studios where they just

threw money at a wall and people weren't passionate about it. Nobody was passionate about the podcast they were making. A lot of those just fell in their arse and flopped thank fuck and the podcasts that are independent where the people making those podcasts are passionate about what they're doing they're still surviving so whatever independent podcast you listen to that you enjoy and by independent i mean a small team of people or one person just showing up and making what they want to make for the people who are listening if you listen to those independent podcasts please support them that can be financial

support or it can be as simple as sharing liking leaving a review telling people about it word of mouth that stuff all really matters to independent podcasts don't have a huge amount of gigs to promote because i'm finishing my book at the moment um i'm in canada this month let's check those dates let's not just guess i think they might even be sold out why am I talking about there's probably four tickets left I'm not even there's no internet here alright let's see

when am I playing Canada I should know this shit but I'm shit with dates Vancouver that's sold out and that's on the 28th Toronto so there must be a few tickets left for's on the 28th Toronto so there must be a few tickets left for Toronto

on the 25th of April in, where am I playing the Toronto Opera House 40 tickets left in the Toronto Opera House right, on the 26th of April and then Vancouver's sold out

if you're around Canada come along to the gig it'll be good crack I'll have fantastic guests alright now there are other gigs there but they're fucking ages away like

is that August on the 26th of August I'm in the Cork Opera House as part of the Cork podcast festival that's ages away but you can buy tickets now if you want

and then I'm back in Vicar Street on the 28th am I fucking in Vicar Street on the 28th of August I am I'm in Vicar Street on the 28th of August

alright I forgot about that but sure they're ages away that's August and now it's I'm looking at my watch that just tells me the time what are we April

I'm very very bad with dates and numbers anything to do with that and it gets worse when i look at him that's neurodivergence right there that's how can this man who's able to write books not really know that it's april even though he was talking about easter a couple of minutes ago and why does he look at the clock. To know whether it's April or not. That shit is no fun. If you're working in an office. Or in school. But very helpful if you need to disappear off into dreamland.

And be creative. So to end this podcast. I kinda. I'd feel a bit weird if I started talking about something. That wasn't Silk and Thomas related. It's like that bit after a funeral, you know, where people are going, can we change the subject? Can we speak about snooker? You don't really do that.

It's more respectful to keep the conversation about the deceased, assuming that the bereaved are okay with that. Well, I'm the person doing the talking and I'm also the one bereaving. So, a lot of people ask me, where did Silken Thomas get his name? Why is he called Silken Thomas? Well, he's a tomcat. He was a tomcat.

And he had that very obvious tomcat face. You know, he had that very obvious Tomcat face. You know, he had that kind of mean Tomcat-y face. That aggressive Tomcat face that they have. Like, there's no fucking around. But with him, he never got to reach the potential of that Tomcat-ness. The face was there but like I said there was a terror and a nervousness and an apprehension behind it because he was deaf but he had this beautiful white silky fur. Wonderful white fur. So I'm looking at him going to Tomcat and his fur is so silky and also in the 15th century there was an earl an earl of Kildare called Thomas Fitzgerald and he became known as Silken Thomas and he rebelled against the English he rebelled against the Brits in the 1500s and the thing is with Silken Thomas the historical figure we all remember that name Silken Thomas from the historical figure, we all remember that name, Silken Thomas, from school

because it just stuck out from our history books. Amongst all the names of the rebels of Irish history, it's like, what the, Silken Thomas, what type of fucking name is that? So his name always sticks up in the history books. So that's why I called my cat Silken Thomas, after him. So the real Silken Thomas he was a Fitzgerald so he would have been

what you'd call Hiberno-Norman. The Normans were the first English we'll say the first British to conquer Ireland in the 12th century. But those Normans that came to Ireland, even the nobility, they really culturally assimilated with Ireland.

By the 1400s, they weren't seen as a foreign oppressive force that was eradicating our culture. They became Irish, and the phrase that was used is they became more Irish than the Irish. In particular the Fitzgerald dynasty of which Silken Thomas was a member. This would have been before the Tudor conquest of Ireland which would be the 16th century. Like in 1366 in the Statute of Kilkenny, the English said of these Norman lords in Ireland, they said that they're forsaking the English language, manners, mode of riding horses,

laws and usages and live and govern themselves according to the manners, fashion and language of the Irish enemies. So the people who conquered us in the 12th century, they're great, great, great grandchildren. We're like, I'm fucking Irish now. I'm Irish now. I don't give a shit about England. I speak Irish. I dress like an Irish person. We're Irish. And the English didn't like that one bit because now you can't colonize effectively because the people you sent to colonize are like we kind of prefer it this way we're Irish here we're getting on grand and Thomas Fitzgerald the Earl of Kildare he was one of these he was an Earl he had land he was posh he was royalty he had money but he was like my people are here in Ireland I mean I'm a cousin of Henry VII

the King of England but fuck him these are my people here so here's what happened in February 1534 Thomas Fitzgerald was in Kildare and his father

right who would have been a lord, was summoned over to London. Summoned over to London. You have to remember, they're related to the King of England. But then it gets back to Thomas that his da was summoned to London to be thrown into the Tower of London and executed.

So then Thomas goes, those fucking English cunts. King Henry VII. Fuck him. Who is he to execute my dad? They're not my people. That foreign king. Fuck him.

But he's saying this shit in his own court. He's by himself in his court. With all the people. His servants and everything. And his nobles around him. And he's getting really emotional. And he's saying, fuck the King of England, fuck Henry VII. Who is he to try and execute my dad?

I have no loyalty to that English king. Speaking in a way that's real treasonous. But he was most likely kind of just blowing off steam in his court. Blowing off steam. But here's the thing and here's the wonderful. The Irish assimilation part. So Thomas Fitzgerald is renouncing his allegiance. To Henry VII the King of England in his court.

And as he's renouncing his allegiance. All like the Archbishop gets involved. His nobles get involved. And they all come around Thomas and say to him. Chill the fuck out man. Chill out. These are big words. You're just the Earl of Kildare.

Right. This is an area of Ireland. If you renounce the King of England. And decide to go independent. You're dead. You're fucking dead. And Thomas Fitzgerald is like. Listening to their words

and thinking maybe these nobles are right but over in the corner is Thomas Fitzgerald's harpist and poet now this is the bit that's very very Irish this is an English tradition

in the Irish tradition poetry and music and harp playing these are very powerful legendary things these are very much associated way more with ancient Irish culture than English culture and Thomas's harp player hears Thomas saying I'm to rebel against the King of England, fuck him. And in that moment, the Gaelic harp player starts writing and playing an epic poem. An epic poem, like a rap song. The harp player starts playing the harp and composing this poem and this song, which starts speaking about all of Thomas's ancestors and starts writing the myth there in real time about the great Thomas and how wonderful he is that he's going to rebel against

the King of England and this song talks about him as a hero and how he's going to lead Ireland to freedom and then Thomas gets so emotional about this epic poem and song that's now being written about him as this saviour that he goes to his archbishop and goes fuck off I'm fighting the king I'm fighting the fucking king I'm starting a rebellion fuck the Brits and then he raises an army and he raises an army of gallow glass. Gallow glass were a very special type of Irish mercenary class. They were known the world over for being incredibly powerful fighters who would die on the battlefield rather than lose. So now Thomas Fitzgerald and his gallow glass hard bastard mercenary warriors led a rebellion against English rule in Ireland in 1534 and they besieged Dublin Castle and took control and then the English were like

holy fuck Ireland might become independent we got to send over soldiers we can't let Ireland become independent these Fitzgeralds they've become more Irish than the Irish. We're going to lose Ireland. And this is how Thomas Fitzgerald got the name Silk and Thomas. One theory is that he used to use banners in battle that had silk hanging off them. But another theory, and this is the one that I love, I mentioned there the gallow glass. So the gallowglass were these famous

mercenary warriors from Ireland. They were descended from Scotland and Donegal I believe. I think the clan Sweeney was involved with them but these Gallowglass warriors had a very specific haircut. They cut their hair short at the back and had these fringes that came down over their faces and they used to keep their fringes immaculate and calm them and the fringes looked like silk and the reason we know this is we actually have a drawing of gallow glass from the 1500s. The great German painter and illustrator Albrecht Durer who was a huge figure in the German Renaissance. He'd be as important as Raphael or Donatello or any of them. Albrecht Dürer was in Spain in the mid-1500s. And while he was in Spain, a bunch of Irish gallowglass,

who were, they'd be like the US Marines. They were such a fearsome force of fighters that gallow glass would be hired all over europe as security guards and as fighters for hire so when juror was in spain he saw a group of these irish gallow glass warriors and was just like what the fuck are these cunts these are the maddest fuckers i've ever seen so So he did this beautiful drawing. If you type gallow glass into Google Images, the first image that'll come up is Albrecht Durer's amazing drawing of him. And you see them there. They've got their huge giant swords and armor. And then there's two lads at the back and you can see their fringes, these big long silken fringes.

two lads at the back and you can see their fringes, these big long silken fringes. And that's where they say Thomas Fitzgerald got his name Silken Thomas because he had gallow glass warriors with these mad fringes that they used to look after immaculately. So Silken Thomas is famous in Irish history because he led the first proper attempt at a rebellion against British power in Ireland in the 1530s. And it didn't work out too well. He eventually had to surrender. The Brits lied to him, of course. The Brits said to him, look, if you surrender, you'll be safe. Don't worry about it.

We'll look past it. He surrendered. He was immediately sent to the Tower of London him and his uncles were hung drawn and quartered that means their bodies were dragged by horses they had their genitals cut off

then they had their bowels torn out of their body while they were still alive then they were hung not hung enough until they'd die. And then their bodies, Silke and Thomas' body, was chopped into four bits

and displayed in the four corners of Britain. And Silke and Thomas' rebellion from the 1530s, it caused the King of England to go, these lads that we have over in Ireland these people that we sent over to colonise a couple of hundred years ago they're not on our side

they're paddies now they're paddies now even though they're nobility and they're Normans these people are paddies look at how they're dressing this fella did a rebellion because someone wrote a song about him

and it led to the creation of the Kingdom of Ireland the Tudor conquest of Ireland Henry VII became King of Ireland following Silken Thomas' failed rebellion it was much more oppressive and then of course after that

you have Henry VIII and that's where you get Protestantism and the Church of England then you get your proper colonisation you get your plantations taking Protestants from Scotland and England and planting them in Ireland shit really really really going downhill after that

so that's who my cat is named after. Silken Thomas. The 10th Earl of Kildare, Thomas Fitzgerald. Who began the Silken Thomas Rebellions. Alright, that's all I have time for this week. I'll be back next week. I don't know what, wait, maybe a hot take. In the meantime,

be kind to a cat. Be kind to a cat. Be kind to a cat if you see a cat. Just be kind to him. Don't adopt any cats. If you can't look after them properly. And if you are adopting a cat. Think about adopting an older cat. You know.

Everyone loves kittens. But poor old older cats. Whose owners might might have died or they might have been abandoned. Go for one of them instead. Give them a home. If you say no to a kitten, if you visit a shelter and you say no to a kitten, someone's going to pick that kitten up. Don't worry about it. But the poor cats that are adults, they're the ones that get left behind, because people don't want adult cats.

And then in the interest of biodiversity, and this is what biodiversity experts will tell you, if you do have a pet cat, and they're domesticated, keep them indoors, because cats are absolute bastards for Irish biodiversity. They kill birds

I love cats but they're a non-native species and they kill nesting birds that are native to Ireland and are essential to our biodiversity so if you can keep a cat indoors, please do alright, dog bless

I'll catch you next week. rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for

the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. you