The Blindboy Podcast - Wet Kensington Tent

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

How advertising has sold us a performed version of adulthood Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get bent in a wet Kensington tent, you frugal Ewans. Welcome to the Blind Buy Podcast. If you're a brand new listener, go back and listen to some earlier episodes, I always recommend that. So you can familiarise yourself with this podcast. And to the regular listeners, thank you so much for the delicious feedback that you gave me for last week's podcast it was our first our first hot take of 2021 it was a podcast about quicksand which if you haven't heard it i know that sounds a little bit strange now what the fuck is he doing podcasts about quicksand for but i went i went figuratively and metaphorically deep into the, well I didn't go figuratively deep,

if I went figuratively deep into the quicksand on the podcast that would mean I literally stood in quicksand while recording the podcast, I didn't do that, I went too far with quicksand, that's what happened, all right, I spoke about quicksand and And why it appeared. In 1980s cartoons. And I rustled up a very very hot take. That took back about 100 years. And thank you for the feedback. I wasn't on Twitch last week. I wasn't on Twitch.

I told you that I was going to do Twitch. On Thursday night. And I cancelled it. Because I had a rather offensive eye infection. I have, I don't know the name of it. No, it's gone now. It's gone. I was on antibiotics all week. Now my eye is perfect. But last Thursday, I had an incredibly swollen left eye and which was exacerbated by staring at screens. So going on Twitch for three hours wasn't the best idea. So I will be on on twitch this week twitch.tv forward slash the blind boy podcast

and doing some music and chatting all right i'm looking forward to it because it's the closest thing that i have to social interaction why am i talking about my twitch stream what if you don't even know what twitch is? Twitch is a live streaming website, lads. And it's something I started adopting since the start of the pandemic. I can't do gigs anymore, so I said, fuck that. Don't need gigs.

I'm going to sit in my studio and live stream on the internet for people. And I love it. It's great fun. The reason I'm talking about Twitch is I want to do like a mental health slash hot take podcast this week all right i want i want to meditate on the concept of adulthood okay i want to talk about what it means to be an adult and the different how how I think a lot of us have our

our perception and understanding of the word adult I don't think we fully know what we mean when we say it and I do think a lot of us have it completely distorted um I this is what I want to try and explore on this podcast I believe that luxury advertising has invented and defined a version of adulthood that they've sold to us and certain people perform this version of adulthood

so I suppose what has me wanting to meditate on adulthood this week and to discuss what adulthood is and to define it and to try and explore what it means is because I get called a giant child quite often in quite a disparaging way, in a contemptuous way. and in a quite a disparaging way in a contemptuous way and it's happened a lot since I started making videos on Twitch

so when I'm on Twitch live streaming I'm there with my plastic bag on my head and writing really really silly songs in the moment to the events of a video game, right? Really silly stuff, because I'm trying to create in the moment, and when you're creating in the moment, you're not looking for good or bad, you're just trying to create, so it's often quite silly. And then I take little clips of these videos and I put them on Facebook and Twitter and on Instagram. clips of these videos and I put them on on Facebook and Twitter and on Instagram and in Facebook on Facebook in particular it makes some people really really angry and not just my Twitch videos sometimes like if I go on something like the late late show which if you're not from Ireland

the late late show is is this really big talk show in Ireland and I appear on the late late show with my plastic bag on my head right it makes people some people really furiously fucking angry and what they say to me is grow the fuck up what the fuck are you doing with a plastic bag in your head? Or they say, What the fuck are you doing writing stupid songs about a video game? What the fuck are you doing? Grow the fuck up. You fucking child.

You're an idiot. I can't take you seriously. And, Now I don't give a shit about the comments. Honestly though, Sometimes people say shit to me online, and it does hurt me, that stuff, I genuinely don't give a fuck, I really don't give a fuck, angry, some people are because I'm a grown man in his 30s who wears a plastic bag on his head and is very very silly, I'm a silly silly person, I do silly things, when I'm making songs to video games that's really silly, now I love doing it and I've no problem with silliness and silliness doesn't hurt anyone, silliness is harming

nobody like so I don't give a shit but it makes some people really really angry and I know from psychology that if something if me being silly or me wearing a bag in my head is is making someone angry then that means it's threatening them and then I'm going, why is that threatening, why would someone be threatened by me being really silly, or wearing a bag in my head, or having fun, and some people are really bothered by it, really disturbed by it, and it's mainly on Facebook, it's mainly on but and it's also it's not gendered it's across the board man or woman of a certain age over the age of 30 we'll say get really bothered by the shit I get up to and like I saw I saw I saw people thinking that I'm

having a nervous breakdown like I saw these these men discussing amongst themselves oh did you see the did you see the videos he's putting up of him singing the video games I think he's having a nervous breakdown I think the pandemic is giving him a nervous breakdown their only rationality for me being creative was that I was losing my mind so I'm I'm thinking more and more why is this what the fuck is that about what's so threatening about me wearing a bag in my head or me playing video games or making songs what's so threatening about that that people either have to get angry or genuinely express concern that i'm going mad so i've been thinking about this a lot because it doesn't make sense to me it's if someone's simply like i don't like the lad with the bag in his head i don't like the

songs that he's making that's fine that's criticism but this is more than that that this is an extreme emotional reaction which results in them urging me telling me and begging me to behave like an adult to stop behaving like a child you're too old for this stop you're too old and the people saying this are usually 30 and older so something about my behavior is challenging their perception of what appropriate adult behavior is and what it also tells me too is that these people's perception of how an adult should be and how an adult should behave it tells me that their sense of self and their sense of identity is tied up in an idea of what how an adult should behave or what an adult is and when someone else who's the same age as them comes along and behaves differently or contrary to that it threatens their self-esteem to the point that they have an intense emotional reaction of anger and demand that the other person stop behaving

like a child or they simply think the other person is is actually mad and i wanna i wanna tease that i wanna tease at the concept of adulthood i i have a hot i have a theory i think that we have allowed adulthood to be defined by the forces of capitalism and consumerism. I think we have a distorted version of adulthood which doesn't actually meet our needs as human beings but meets the needs of advertising and consumerism and a lot of what we think to be being a good adult, being a responsible adult is actually just being a responsible consumer and i also think that this performance of adulthood because that's what i'm going to call it the performance of adulthood that a huge amount of people engage in it serves as like a band-aid or a patch

for people who are who are effectively very emotionally immature. Like being an adult, I don't mean legal adult, as in over the age of 18. People with families and mortgages and cars and pensions who we would look at and call adults, but functionally on a day-to-day basis they're they inhabit the emotional world of a child they their desires wants needs and pains are rooted in in childhood but then sublimated through this performance of adulthood. Now real adulthood to me is emotional maturity

right. Emotional maturity means really understanding what your emotions are. Being able to feel an emotion, feeling anger and understanding what that anger is. Feeling fear and understanding what the fear is. Not sublimating those things. Like a classic example. You know, being jealous of someone. Like, okay, you're out with a group of friends. And a new person is introduced to the group and you find out that this person has got a really interesting job where they get to travel the world.

Or you find out that this person is a surgeon or a doctor and they earn loads of money and have lots of prestige and everyone at the table goes, wow, you're a surgeon. of prestige and everyone at the table goes wow you're a surgeon now if your first reaction is that person's a fucking prick i bet they think they're great if that's your first reaction and you run with it you literally run with that reaction and you make up your mind now that this person who you've just met who's a surgeon is a fucking prick who thinks they're great if that's your first reaction

then that's that's an emotionally immature reaction it's a lack of awareness around your own emotions the emotionally mature reaction is ah this person is a surgeon and everyone thinks they're great this makes me feel insecure this makes me feel as if i haven't achieved much

i feel threatened by this person because i feel threatened by him I kind of now want to think they're a prick. Thinking that they're a prick actually. Is the easiest way for me to not feel insecure. And that's an emotionally mature reaction. It's okay to be jealous of someone. You can't control that. But you don't run with. This person who I've just met. Who I don't know.

Is a fucking prick who thinks they're great because I just found out they're a surgeon you don't run with that as if it's truth the emotionally mature adult thing to do is to challenge that and go yeah I don't I don't really I don't have any evidence that they're a prick I'd love to think that they're a prick wouldn't that be so simple if this person was a prick but they're actually quite sound and yeah they're after making me feel really insecure maybe I should have done more with my life and that's fine that's human

but that's the emotionally mature response but some people literally run with the prick thing and then before the night they've got two or three pints and now they're starting an argument with the surgeon their friend's friend who's a lovely man who just happens to be a surgeon now they're having digs at him they're treating him as if they are a prick so that's that's that's a grown adult right there who's exhibiting emotional immaturity. And an emotionally mature adult,

you're allowed to feel a bit of jealousy. It's just the emotionally mature adult is able to challenge it so that it doesn't result in antisocial behaviour. Another example of emotional maturity is the ability to delay gratification or put off gratification altogether. Gossip is a perfect example. Humans like gossiping, alright?

Gossiping is a very easy way for us to bond. When you're gossiping with someone, you feel a connection with the person you're gossiping with. But gossiping has real life fucking consequences and 99.9% of the time gossiping is a bad idea gossiping is only a good idea when you're doing it to keep people safe if you find out something out about someone and you're like this person isn't safe so I need to tell you that this person isn't a safe person to be around, then that's good gossip. But when it's other types of gossip,

I'm going to tell you some shit about someone that we both know because it's entertaining. It's just getting some dirt on someone to tell someone else that you have a bit of bonding. That's not good. So people who do a huge amount of gossiping that's an example of emotional immaturity these people can't delay gratification it's gratifying to say like if you hear that fucking anthony from accounts uh has a gambling addiction and is in debt. If you hear that about someone. And that's damaging private information about another person.

And you then want, you want to tell it to your friend who you know will be interested in this. And you want to go to him and you want to say, did you hear about Anthony from accounts with his gambling addiction? And you want to go to him and you want to say did you hear about Anthony from accounts with his gambling addiction and you want to say this but you know that if you say it to your friend and it got out there you would cause embarrassment and harm to Anthony from accounts but you do it anyway you do it anyway you can't not gossip you have to go and tell your friend the private harmful information about another person and you do it anyway that's the inability to delay or put off completely gratification the emotionally mature thing is i heard that anthony from accounts has a gambling addiction i'd love to have a good old bitch about

this with my friend however if i do this i might actually cause harm so i'm gonna shut the fuck up and mind my own business that's the emotionally mature thing to do some people don't do that they can't delay the gratification and they go for the gossip even though it will have consequences so they're just they're just two examples there right, the inability to delay gratification and jealousy sublimating itself into unchallenged anger those are two examples of many of

someone who is visibly a grown adult who is actually driven by the needs and desires of a child the emotional maturity of a child and there's a lot of people like that and i'm not judging these people because it can be a significant source of mental health issues stress addiction real like just let's just look at those

two examples they're just two fucking examples you're starting a fight with someone because you think that they're a prick because they've got a better job than you and now you're gossiping about someone think of the amount of stress that you could have brought into your week by doing those two things.

Do you know what I mean? So people who are emotionally immature, their lives tend to be filled with quite a lot more conflict and rejection and drama than people who have emotional maturity. and rejection and drama than people who have emotional maturity. These people are fragile adults rather than functional adults. So the stress of living your adult life while struggling with intense emotional immaturity, people who are dealing with that I tend to find are the ones who engage most in what i'd call the performance of adulthood the outward performance of appearing to be a-okay and having their shit together and it is these people these people's desires for the performance of adulthood, this is what consumerism and capitalism massively relies upon.

These people are really, really easy to sell to, and these people get themselves into quite a lot of debt in order to continually engage and keep up the performance and appearance of adulthood. I'll give you an anecdote that a buddy of mine told me. It's an intensely cringy story. He was working in some company years ago, right? And they had the company Christmas Party. And you know the deal with Christmas parties and companies, right?

Usually the workers are there then you've got the bosses and the bosses kind of the bosses tend not to drink the bosses tend not to drink so the bosses they remain sober or they'll drink snaky fucking shots of water they remain sober and then and then the, the, the average worker, the one's drinking, and then the bosses pretend, so anyway, what happened at this Christmas party is, so, yeah, I'll set the scene, look, it's a Christmas party in a hotel function room, all right, uh, pretty large maybe 200 people they're playing fucking Shakin' Stevens they're playing Wham

all this Christmas stuff everyone's having great crack the workers are letting fucking loose drinking, hopping up and down having fun and then there's two bosses who aren't drinking let's call them Declan and Brendan.

And Declan and Brendan are watching the whole crack. Now what's interesting is that the workers are really letting loose. It's a Christmas party. They're forming conga lines. They're laughing out loud. They're giving each other the bumps. A room full of grown adults with a bit of drink. They're effectively behaving like children.

You know, it's like play school, but they're healthily behaving like children. They're not harming anyone. There's no harm in roaring, shouting. There's no harm in conga lines. They're just having fun. Whatever it is about this, Declan and Brendan, the bosses who aren't drinking, it creates tension. it creates anger. So the workers are having crack, and then they notice. Fuck it, man, are Declan and Brendan shouting at each other?

Are they raising their voices? And now Declan and Brendan, the sober bosses, are screaming at each other. And their wives are involved. And now people are sobering up, the workers are sobering up, because it's like, fuck, man, the bosses are fighting with each other. What wives are involved and now people are sobering up the workers are sobering up because it's like fuck man the bosses are fighting with each other what's going on here and it gets to the point where people are worried are they gonna scrap is this gonna be a physical fight so someone intervenes and Declan and Brendan are you know roaring big insults this company be

nothing without me you're only a lackey you you you can't do your job whatever the fuck you lost the account whatever rich cunts roar at each other so they're now having this big public argument it's very embarrassing everyone's watching they've let themselves down they are now clearly a pair of toddlers throwing tantrums screaming at each other and these are supposed to be the adults in the room these are the bosses who didn't drink these are the people with the money these are the people going we've paid for all of this enjoy and now they're screaming at each other so what happens is Brendan then decides I'm leaving I'm gonna be the bigger man so Brendan leaves with his wife,

but then Declan follows him out into the fire, still roaring and shouting at him. And there's workers following too, because they're worried about, you know, man, we don't want someone throwing digs. If they're going to shout at each other, fine, but we can't have them throwing digs. This is mortifying.

So Brendan decides to be the bigger man, and it's all now after spilling out into the car park at the hotel and brendan and his wife he gets into his seven series bmw and as he's about to leave he shouts at declan in front of everyone whatever declan why don't you give me a call when you can afford one of these gets into his BMW revs the engine really really loudly this is a man in his 50s revs the engine really loudly and then immediately reverses into a wall there's a huge big bang there's a cloud of smoke all the workers gather around the car. Everyone is now stone cold sober because of the sheer injection of collective cringe. It's horrendous. Brendan's not hurt.

He's just in there looking like a fucking dickhead with smoke coming up his collar. His wife's got her head in her hands. People are asking her if she's okay. Declan's gone back inside. It's so embarrassing. The night is fucking ruined. The two lads have made themselves look like big, silly eejits. The crash has caused Brendan to immediately come down off his emotional hijack to go,

Oh, what the fuck did I do there? emotional hijack to go oh what the fuck did i do there and the two sober adults in the room just just did some mad crazy shit and it's a story that when i heard that i haven't stopped i've heard that story 10 years ago i haven't stopped thinking about it and first of all i think what got them angry was all the workers behaving like children the the workers alcohol allows us as a society to express the child within us in in in a healthy way through fun right so the workers were expressing the child within him not the toxic child the free child within him by having fun and doing conga lines and this was deeply threatening to brendan and declan who were sober with their performance of adulthood and it was so threatening to their performance of adulthood that it forced them into an argument to their their toxic child came out the forces of immaturity that drive them came out and it's like

we can't be we can't how do we do this performance of adulthood that works perfectly in the office how do we do it here when now everybody is behaving like happy toddlers oh my god this is terrifying let's have a fight let's scream personal insults at each other in front of all the employees let's let's risk let's risk our jobs let's not delay any gratification let's throw tantrums and scream at each other like toddlers despite the consequences and the most telling thing of all for me is when Brendan gets into his BMW and his parting words to Declan were

give me a call when you can afford one of these and that right there his BMW it's like unconsciously he knows he's behaving like this giant angry toddler but it's like how can I be a toddler I've got a 7 series BMW I'm an adult I have arrived I've arrived I'm somebody I'm an adult look at this BMW and that there is where I think consumerism and capitalism right feeds upon a type of person who is deeply emotionally immature and in order to as a coping mechanism

they need to perform adulthood certain advertising caters to the performance of adulthood typically luxury items right um a perfect place to if you want to see all right if you want to see where are the adverts that are selling people adulthood? Crack open a copy of Men's Health magazine. Luxury items, like watches, you know, good watches like Rolex, shit like that. Good whiskeys, fucking BMWs, things which we would consider luxury items right if you look at the advert you think

you think they're like oh what they're selling here is status yes it's status but when you look at how status is sold to men and women what's actually being sold is adulthood it's a performed version of adulthood think of the ads for the bmw what one thing you will never ever see in a luxury advert is

fucking humor humor is not present if you think of an ad for I don't even know fancy, I'm just saying Rolex, it's the only fancy watch I know if you think of a Rolex advert, what you have is a male model looking very serious on a business trip in his private jet

if you think of an expensive whiskey, same shit very serious, no humour fancy suits fucking hugo boss what's being sold here is the performance of being an adult so no matter what your emotional immaturity if you can get this watch if you can get this car if you can drink this watch, if you can get this car, if you can drink this whiskey, if you can get this face cream, whatever it is, like I said, Men's Health Magazine, open up Men's Health Magazine, whatever the fuck those adverts are, the luxury items are one of the few items that will actively advertise to people who can never afford them because they're playing upon their exclusivity so because i always wondered this i might you know the odd time i'd buy fucking men's health to get some exercises in it or whatever and i'm going who the fuck reading this magazine is going to be able to afford a €10,000 watch?

With all due respect. And the odds are, nobody really, maybe five people who are reading Men's Health can afford the watch. But it doesn't matter. Because it wants to advertise the watch or advertise the car to the person who can't afford it as well because then that ups its exclusivity but brendan there who'd gotten into his bmw he he he's like unconsciously was aware of oh fuck i've just thrown a massive tantrum at the fucking christmas party he needed to latch on to his BMW, his totem of adulthood

what these things are selling you is not status it's you're a fully functioning fucking adult like even just type like luxury advert into Google images and all the shit that comes up em, jewellery

Gucci bags, watches cars cars fancy hotels cruise liners the one thing that's noticeably absent from all of it is humor there's no humor ever in a luxury advert there is none whatsoever it's really boring generic models looking dead serious down the lens fucking david beckham david beckham with a watch on looking really boring and serious and what they're selling us all is adulthood you're an independent adult and you're a big man or you're a big grown woman all right and you're miles and miles away from your parents and you're a big man, or you're a big grown woman, alright, and you're miles and miles away from your parents, and you've got your shit together, alright, on your private jet with your Rolex, your shit, you've got your shit together, you're a fucking grown adult, you have no reason ever to introspectively look or question look at or question any of your emotions or motivations or

feelings fuck that shit you're a success you have arrived just look at everything you've got you're a you're a fucking adult well done and it's dead serious and why is there no humor because humor and that type of humor and expression and fun right that's that's the behavior of a free child we have two types of child within us there's the free child which is the healthy expression of childhood which is the part of us that's spontaneous creative humorous living in the moment having fun not giving a fuck about what people think that child that put that's within us as adults that's a good thing that helps us to connect with who we really are but then there's the other child which is unhealthy which is what's known in transactional analysis as the adaptive child this is the child within us that's effectively emotional immaturity this is the child within us that throws tantrums

that gets jealous of people that seeks revenge on people but if you're in your 30s or 40s or 50s or when that child is motivating you inside and it's toxic the only thing that can soothe that is an advert that sells you this version of adulthood this packaged version of adulthood and that's what luxury stuff is it's not status or if it is status something about society is telling us that the highest amount of status you can get is when you're a really fucking boring adult and everything's gray and serious and yachts and hotel rooms and champagne and whiskey and rolexes and bmws and that's adulthood and it's fucking harsh shit and like i said with luxury advertising luxury advertising is one of the few types of advertising that can advertise to people who

can never buy it and still work because it ups its exclusivity but i know lads, who are in incredible debt because they went and bought the BMW. I know lads with BMWs and Mercedes that they took out mortgage-sized loans for that they can't really afford. And, like, here's the thing now. I'm not shitting here. i'm gonna make this this distinction here because this is important if you love cars if you actually love and adore cars and you're passionate about cars or if you love and adore watches and you're passionate about watches or fashion and you're spending silly amounts of money to get these things that you genuinely love and have a passion about, that's fair enough.

It's your money. That's none of my fucking business. Alright? There's many people who love fucking, they just literally love cars. Right? What I'm talking about here is motivation. I know people who are in severe credit card debt because of gucci handbags i know people in severe credit card debt because of hugo boss suits people spending and buying

far far beyond their means to purchase these luxury goods the people with just with regular jobs these people are also fucking giant children do you know i'll be honest and i mean that in a compassionate way but any anyone i know who's gotten themselves into severe debt or is in debt with credit card companies they also have some shit going on you know they rarely stay in any long-term relationships continually changing between partners very frequently fighting with people and then making back together they've got big lists of enemies their lives inhabit the consequences of a legal adult who has the motivations and behavior of a screaming child. They're troubled people. And I don't mean like people in credit card debt now because they had to buy shit they needed.

I mean, I'm also not talking about people who treat themselves sometimes someone will buy something beyond their means as a treat because they want to this is what they want to do i'm talking about a pattern of behavior of purchasing things you can't afford to impress other people even though it consistently lands you in hot water someone who has put themselves in hugely hugely unnecessary debt because they bought things not because they needed them but because these items very powerfully and strongly projected the performance of adulthood outward it's purchasing a car a suit a watch whatever so that you can impress other people or let other people know i'm doing okay i'm a success chill out Chill out. And then they're in huge debt.

They're getting chased down by debt collectors. Because of credit card bills. That's a real thing. That's fucking common. And it's really sad. That's really really sad. For those people. I know someone who.

Legged it from Ireland. Someone who left Ireland. Because they'd ran up so much debt and frivolous things they couldn't afford, left Ireland to go to a different country to hopefully earn the money there in order to pay off the debts in Ireland and then as soon as they got to the other country ended up buying stupid cars and stupid clothes and stupid watches over there. And then got into that debt over there as well.

Because advertising has sold them the concept of being a functional adult when they really are not. And right there, there's the self-fulfilling prophecy. A person who puts themselves in massive debt because of the purchase of things that they definitely don't need and can't afford that's right there as an inability to delay gratification that's a profound amount of emotional immaturity right there

it's like really three fucking credit cards are you serious are you not aware of what's going to happen because you needed you needed everyone in kill key to see that you had a jet ski fucking one day a year on the beach like what the fuck so after the ocarina pause i'm going to get into the the psychology of this behavior i'm going to i'm going to speak about carl rogers who i've spoken about before long ago in a podcast from 2018 i believe i'm going to speak a little bit about carl rogers and explore the psychology around this stuff but right now it's the ocarina pause so i'm going to play my ocarina and an

advert will be digitally inserted. I don't know what the advert is because the advert depends upon your search algorithm. So if you're someone who spends ages on the men's health websites looking at luxury watches, you might get advertised a fucking luxury watch. Ask yourself, do you really need this? Do you need and want this thing? Ask yourself, do you really need this? Do you need and want this thing?

Or are you purchasing it to impress other people? And if you're buying something to impress other people, that's a waste of money. I'm sure the fucking advertisers love me. Christ. Alright, here's the ocarina pause. Rock City you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on Saturday April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7 30 p.m. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.

On April 5th, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother.

Mother of what? It's the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Hey! Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. What's not real?

Who said that? The first omen only in theaters April 5th so whatever you were just sold there ask yourself if you actually really need it if you do get it

if you're trying to impress somebody with a purchase fuck that you don't need that em what you could do with the money instead

is subscribe to my patreon page patreon.com forward slash the blind boy podcast this is a 100 independent podcast it's my sole source of income it's my full-time job it's a lot of work so if you're enjoying the podcast just please consider paying me for the work that i'm doing what you're also paying for is for me to have full editorial control to make what i want to make because what i've been thinking about recently is i love making this i fucking love making this podcast i really really do love doing the reason why is I'm, I've been working in TV now for 10 years, more or less, and 90% of the ideas that I pitch to TV channels, they don't even, they don't make it past the

piece of paper, the initial pitch, and then the ideas that do make it to tv shows i'm never 100 fully happy with the end result but with my podcasts i'm always 100 happy with them and then surprise surprise my podcasts are far more successful than any tv i've ever made in terms of of reviews and people actually consuming it and the reason is is that just like the model of tv and radio is the model is broken if i have an idea a hot take a hunch i have to convince a commissioner to give me money to make it but often they don't see the vision that I have and you have to compromise and compromise until the initial good idea that you had by the end it's no longer that original idea

and you're left with something new and weird that you don't like but with full editorial control on this podcast I'm the artist and I'm making it and I'm just happy with the results and this is all possible because you're supporting the podcast financially so if you can afford it if you can afford the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month that's all I'm asking for patreon.com forward slash the blind buy podcast all right if

we're in a lot of debt because you bought a lot of Hugo Boss don't have to you're grand if you're in a lot of debt because you bought a lot of hugo boss you don't have to you're grand if you can't afford it if you don't have a job you don't have to it's grand if you can't afford it pay me for the work i'm doing please if you're enjoying the podcast and then you're also paying for the person who can't afford to listen everyone gets a podcast i earn a living fucking fantastic all right catch me on twitch subscribe to the podcast like the podcast you know the crack so the kind of hot take this week is that lots of people are navigating their lives, effectively functioning as fragile adults while being motivated by the desires and emotions of children. They're children inside.

They're screaming like children. And this emotional immaturity is leading to real problems in some people's lives and i believe that advertising luxury advertising in particular has figured out a way to soothe these people with a temporary never-ending solution by packaging an agreed-upon version adulthood. So luxury advertising is not selling success or status. It's selling us adulthood. And this to me is evidenced by a complete and utter lack of humour. So I want to look at this using the psychology of Carl Rogers and also a little bit of transactional analysis, which is a school of psychology.

So Carl Rogers is considered to be one of the founders of modern psychotherapy, right? And Carl Rogers has a theory of human personality. has a theory of human personality. And one aspect of it is what Rogers calls the real self and the ideal self. Okay? So Rogers states that humans have a real self. Right? Now, a real self is who we actually are.

A real self is the person that we are when we're genuinely happy the person that we are when we're around people that we love the person who you are in private your real self is the person you know when you're laughing when you're connecting with when you're rubbing a dog when you're enjoying a nice meal when you're walking out in the woods and noticing nature when you're having these moments where you don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks about you or what you think about yourself it's it's the real you it's it's where it's where your tears come from it's where your love comes from it's where the very essence and being of who you are is your real self and we all have a real self but the thing is we also have what's known as an ideal self now the ideal self is how you would like other people to see you okay now sometimes with some people

our real self and our ideal self are very very different so if who you actually are is quite different to how you would like other people to see you then that gap in the middle is known as incongruity there is an your ideal self and your real self are not congruent and that gap in the middle is where emotional distress and mental health issues can come in sometimes like when we have insecurities anxieties toxic anger emotional immaturity when we are motivated by kind of toxic childish emotions we can try and soothe these things with the ideal self we can try and fill that hole with things that meet our ideal self so let's take it back to the the work party that we had earlier where Brendan and Declan the two bosses of the company had gotten into a huge big immature fight screaming and roaring like toddlers and then when Brendan

left he said to Declan give me a call when you can drive one of these now what happened to brendan there is brendan the bmw for brendan is his ideal self brendan would like other people to bel to think that he is a successful man with a big bmw he has been sold the idea that in order for him to be a good person in order for him in order for brendan to have worth as a human being his worth depends upon other people thinking that brendan is the dude with the bmw and brendan bought the bmw to try and feel whole to try and feel whole, to try and feel complete. Brendan bought that BMW to feel, for his sense of self-esteem. But the thing is, Brendan's sense of self-worth isn't based on who he really is. It's based on other people's perceptions of him.

And that hole can never be filled. Now, if Brendan... If Brendan was living more in his real self, whatever that is, the part of him that's able to laugh and have fun and express love, he wouldn't be getting into a fight with Declan at the party. He may not even have the job that he has. He might be doing something completely different. He certainly wouldn't have the BMW.

Because we can ascertain from Brendan's behaviour. That he didn't get the BMW because he likes BMWs. He got the BMW so he could say to Declan. Give me a call when you've got one of these it's a status symbol Brendan wouldn't need the BMW because if his sense

of self worth actually comes from within with his real self, then the BMW is just a big chunk of metal, it's like what the fuck do I want to go spending 180 grand on that for fuck that, what's that going to dondan's living so much in his in his ideal self that he's dropping 180 grand on a bmw to try and feel whole and he doesn't even know that's why he's doing it and the people who i was talking about who i know who have run up you know huge credit card debt because of handbags or watches

these people again like I said they're troubled individuals with issues around emotional immaturity or anxiety or depression and their ideal self is to be seen as, I must be seen as an adult, as a successful adult, like the lads, like David Beckham in the watch ad. I need people to see me as this person and I believe that if people see me as David Beckham in the Hugo Boss suit with the Rolex watch I believe that if people see me as that I will feel happy I will feel good I will feel complete so I must buy these objects in order to feel whole now these are unconscious processes but the ideal self is being fed and you can never ever feed the the ideal self will never be satisfied because it isn't real the only thing

that can be satisfied is the real self by here's the conundrum someone who is struggling with with feelings of emotional immaturity they don't have the emotional vocabulary or language to understand their own emotions so that to be able to identify who they are in the first place where does your ideal self come from well like i said we all have ideal selves and real say real selves having a bit of an ideal self is normal we're human beings we exist in a society it's okay to want other people to like you and to think good things about you that's fine it's it's if you live entirely in your ideal self if your entire sense of self-worth comes from what can i do to

impress other people then you you you'll never fill that hole and you you'll you'll be upset you you're at risk of anxiety at risk of depression where so where does it come from the ideal self well rogers says that it comes from uh society parents teachers peers when you're a child so rogers describes conditional positive regard and unconditional positive regard so when you're a child if so children don't have criticality children don't have the maturity to be critical. So if an adult says something to a child, the child tends to believe what the adult says as truth

and the child will internalise that. So conditional positive regard is when an adult, usually a parent, teacher, older sibling, usually a parent, teacher, older sibling gives a child praise only on the condition of certain things so let's just say that condition is for example the parent likes to dress the child up in really nice clothes

and to have them looking really nice that appearances are very important again not nothing really wrong with that dress your child up nice if you want there's nothing wrong with that but let's just say the parent puts a big emphasis on it so the child starts to notice fucking hell when my ma or da puts me in my nice sunday clothes and my hair is all nice jesus they give me they give me a lot of praise. This feels really, really good. But then the child goes out and they get their shoes dirty

and they get their nice Sunday jumper dirty and their hair is messy and they get in trouble. The child then learns, when my outward appearance is very, very nice and I look presentable and have all these lovely clean clothes the adults tend to love me so then the child turns that into self-love the child turns from conditional positive regard into conditional positive self-regard the child then grows into an adult who is only able to love and value themselves on the condition that their outward appearance to other people is impressive. Now you've got an adult who is only capable of a sense of what they believe to be self-esteem.

When they feel that other people are going, fuck me, look at their watch, look at their bag, look at this. And that is that person's ideal self so the ideal self gets formed in childhood through what's known as conditions of worth if you receive conditional positive regard around your appearance as a child from your parents there they could be harmless doing it. But if there's excessive conditional positive regard, it turns into conditional positive self-regard and then an ideal self is formed. I am worthy when I meet these certain conditions only. The healthy way is unconditional positive regard. unconditional positive regard so basically that same child the parents can still like dressing the child up in nice clothes they can still like having them having a nice haircut

they can still value appearances because that's a perfectly normal thing to do but the difference is is that the child doesn't receive praise only when they look nice or only when they're presentable they receive praise regardless of that so when the child is done up in their Sunday clothes and they get loads of hugs and kisses from the man da and the man that take out the camera and say pause for a photo now with your lovely new jeans that the next day when the child is wearing their fucking pajamas with snots hanging down their nose that they're still receiving love and hugs and the child doesn't differentiate between i get love and hugs when i'm presentable but i also get love and hugs when I'm presentable, but I also get love and hugs when I'm not presentable.

So, ah, I guess they just love me for who I am. And these clothes that I wear or my hair doesn't matter. And if the child gets their Sunday clothes dirty, they're not utterly chastised for it. It's like, it's made clear to the child that you should not get your clothes dirty because clothes aren't supposed to be dirty but it's not like you're a piece of shit because your fucking shoes are scuffed basically the adult doesn't get emotional i remember seeing that when i was a child i remember i remember seeing my friend get a box into the face off his ma because he'd gotten mud all over his fucking Sunday clothes and I remember thinking fuck me

my ma would never do that to me but that right there that's that's bad that's pure another condition if you get your jumper dirty you are bad you are so bad that I'm gonna hit ya and a child doesn't know the fucking difference and on the subject of emotional immaturity parents who hit children right parents who hit children that's the height of emotional immaturity that's that's that's a parent

thinking that they're disciplining a child and what they're actually doing is meeting their own very immature needs of revenge and anger and taking it out on a child and that's why it's so toxic and i always say it you see it on fucking facebook some cunt going well i got hit loads of times when i was a child and i turned out fine and it's like you didn't buddy because now you're in a facebook comment arguing for why children should be beaten so you didn't turn out fine at all so the ideal self basically is formed when we we receive conditions of worth as a child and then we internalize that as self conditions we then we then determine our own worth based on conditions we learned as children so if you know if you've got a a serious credit card bill because of a couple of hugo boss suits and you know damn

well you're like going how did i do this why did i do this i'm in so much pain right now how did I do this, why did I do this, I'm in so much pain right now, why can't I stop myself doing this, it's because the Hugo Boss suits, they're not suits, it's the unconscious attempt to purchase self-worth, because your self-worth is based in material goods, and many people can have different can have different things whatever conditions of worth that we we could have been conditioned to from childhood that's where we can place that energy if if you received conditions of worth that your parents only gave you praise when you were excessively polite you could be someone who has an inability to say no to people and you say yes to everything no matter what people ask you you say yes you don't meet your own needs you let people be rude to you you're scared to get

into fights you're scared to say no to people you're scared to to pull people up when they wrong you because your sense of self-worth is based in how polite you are to strangers and you're fuming angry inside and very unhappy because you don't know how to meet your own needs so that's another condition of worth so advertising and particularly it's luxury advertising luxury advertising knows that people have got ideal selves and luxury advertising knows i'm gonna sell these people this idealized version of adulthood because that's what they're searching for they want to be seen as these this performance of adulthood which is someone who's secure good looking successful all of this and they're going to keep lapping it up to the people who can't afford it and the people who can't afford it

are going to keep reaching for it and they might even get themselves in debt looking for it but it's never ending and that's what that that's what the luxury advertising is it's selling people adulthood but who it's selling it to are people who are not motivated by adult needs it's not selling it to people who are living in their real self. It's people who have an excessive ideal self, which are needs rooted in conditions of work from childhood. It's a form of emotional immaturity. So what about the real you, the real self? You know, unconditional positive self-regard. Like, if the child's parent didn't raise them with the condition of,

you have worth if you are well presented. Instead, you have worth regardless of your behaviour, you have intrinsic worth and we love you anyway regardless. Which is a healthy, that's a healthy way for someone to be raised for them to have healthy self-esteem and you see if if if you're raised to believe that the adults love you regardless then you're then you grow to be an adult who is able to love themselves regardless. There's no conditions on your self-worth. It's like I have intrinsic worth regardless of my behavior.

How I look, what I own, how other people see me, they're nice things. But ultimately, who I am is who I am. And you have this intrinsic sense of worth someone who had the privilege of being raised that way is going to grow to be an adult who has emotional maturity because the the inner world of your own emotions when you have self-worth when you have self-worth and unconditional positive self-regard and you kind of tend to live your day-to-day experience is living in who you really are when you are that way emotions aren't scary so you understand when you actually feel angry, you understand that you feel anger. You don't confuse jealousy with anger.

If you feel frightened, you actually understand that you feel frightened. You don't, you understand that purchasing expensive things to impress other people isn't really going to impress anyone or do anything all it'll do is you'll end up in debt i mean the person who let's just say the person did have a few quid on the side they're not going to buy the the ridiculous watch to impress other people they're going to see that as a waste of money they'll take that money and spend it on something probably that's experiential. They might spend that money on someone they love. They might get a gift for someone because they're spending it on an experience with another person.

Or they might spend that on a holiday where they go and experience things. And experience things. Or they might buy. An object. That has to do with. Like a person with a solid sense of self. Can still buy. An expensive watch.

If they're actually. Truly in love of the craftsmanship. Of watches. That's the difference. It's not the object. It's the motivation. because i'm not shitting on watches there's people who love watches i don't get watches i don't understand them but there's people who love the craft of watches i love the craft of guitars if i won the lottery tomorrow

i'd spend three grand on a les paul gibson les paul guitar because i love playing guitars and I love music and I love the craftsmanship of them and there are also 100% people who own that exact guitar for three grand and they put themselves in debt and why did they have this guitar because they're in a wedding band and they're embarrassed to be seen with anything but the top guitar those people exist and that's an ideal self-purchase it's the same guitar the motivations are different so let's take it back to where i started what i was speaking about adulthood childhood so my main hot take is is adult is certain people perform adulthood and this adulthood is sold via advertising, the version of adulthood. And people will try and perform this adulthood by purchasing objects that convey this sense of I am an adult, I'm successful, I've got my shit together. And also too, I must mention, when I'm describing events from childhood,

moulding and forming who we are as adults and how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about other people, this deterministic view, like, that's not final. If that frightens you, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, fuck, some of this is ringing true, then that doesn't mean that's how you must be. Someone like the Brendan character with his BMW fighting at the work party,

Brendan's not aware that he's this way, alright? Does this mean that Brendan, because of whatever way Brendan was raised as a child, that he needs to continue his life like this, even though it's causing him unhappiness? And causing him to get into fights? Absolutely not. But often what would happen with someone like Brendan is, he'd reach a point of crisis.

He'd reach a point of crisis. He might end up uh in in a fucking in a divorce he might end up engaging in risky behavior losing money he might end up buying too many bmws even though he can't afford them getting in severe debt he might end up with addiction issues he will reach a point of crisis and he may look for help and part of the process of help through therapy and counselling is to understand. Tell me about your childhood Brendan. Tell me about some of the rules that you've learned about how you must be. How other people must be.

How you think you must be in the world. Let's look at some of these rules and see if they're appropriate for you as an adult Brendan. And let's find out who the real brendan is what are your actual needs what are your real desires who are you that's what therapy is that's what this the field of psychology is so we never have to be defined by our childhood we can once you become a fuck that's the beauty of psychology once you become an adult once you become an adult you can learn to become aware of unconscious forces from childhood that are driving you you can learn about them you can take ownership of them and you try and rewrite the pattern and become a new you

to become the best version of you that you can be that's carl rogers's whole thing it's called organismic valuing humans can become the best version of themselves. It's possible. So none of this shit is deterministic. There's no such thing as, I was raised this way. I only received conditional love from my parents, therefore I'm this way and I cannot change. No.

We all have the capacity to grow and change and learn about who we actually are. All right. I used to, like, I struggled with an ideal self when I was younger around, around creativity, because I was raised to believe that I'm a good boy when I'm creative, you know, and that's tough when you're a fucking artist, because if my sense of self-worth depends upon my ability to be a good artist then that means if i'm if i make a piece of art that isn't good i self-flagellate as a human being so i have to take ownership of my ideal self around art and say no my ability as a creative person does not define my worth as a human being and if I allow my worth as a human being to be defined by how good

I am as an artist then that means I'll actually end up in a self-fulfilling prophecy where I fail because I'd be so scared of failing that I won't try so learning about my ideal self my real self that's a huge part of my mental health process. Massive part. And my intrinsic worth. Working every day. And it's always work. It's always a journey. There's no such thing as having your shit together. Every day I work on trying to make sure that my self-esteem and self-worth comes from within.

And doesn't come from praise from other people. Or worrying about how other people see me or my how i see myself towards other people my my value and worth comes from within and i work on that every single day for mental health but i also spoke about about the child the child that's with that's within us so i'm going to mix in a bit of transaction analysis psychology transaction analysis says that within us there's two types of child right

there's the free child and there's the adaptive child now taking it back to Rogers with the real self and the ideal self so your free child Now, taking it back to Rogers with the real self and the ideal self. So your free child, that would be rooted closer to your real self. But your adaptive child is in the ideal self.

And what I mean is that certain emotions that drive us throughout the day and these emotions are much more they're rooted much more in in how a child would behave than how an adult would behave and they can be both positive and negative emotions or negative motivations so adaptive child is it's the some of the stuff you'd you'd associate more with emotional immaturity adaptive child are childhood forces within us as grown adults that when we express them they're in no way helpful to our adult life so those two lads those bosses that were fighting at the Christmas party, Brendan and Declan, they were both in their adaptive child mode, alright? They were screaming and roaring at each other. They were getting personal with insults. They couldn't delay gratification.

When you get into a public argument with someone and you lose control of your emotions and you're behaving in an anti-social way they were at the christmas party and the entire workforce are looking at them they're wrecking everyone's buzz because they're screaming so that's anti-social they're acting anti to what is considered socially acceptable then they have this huge fight everyone's worried that they're gonna physically fight because they're Everyone's worried that they're going to physically fight because they're so verbally angry that they're both throwing tantrums.

These are the behaviours of toddlers. This is how toddlers behave, but it's in grown men's bodies. Then Brendan gets into his fucking car and says, look at this car. Call me up when you have one of these. That's straight up. I'm taking my ball i'm going home it's placing all his worth in an object and then he gets so overwhelmed with the emotion of anger and fury like a two-year-old that he reverses his fucking bmw into a wall

creating utter chaos so this is a toddler that's a toddler in full-blown adaptive child mode also this this adaptive child mode is complementing his ideal self it's the the adaptive child is soothed by the bmw which has been sold to his ideal self and the ideal self exists to soothe the unhealthy unhelpful adaptive child emotions but then you've got your free child and your free child are kind of i suppose emotionally i don't know i don't think emotionally immature is the right word. Motivations that are rooted in childhood playfulness. That's what the free child is. It's the motivations and is rooted in childhood.

But the goal is fun, laughter, play and creativity. Okay. And I think. So. play and creativity okay and i think so free child is something that all of us as human beings have people who live more in their real self than their ideal self tend to express their free child more free child is running around the place with a dog free child is creating art for the sake of it free child is banging pots and pans to make music free child is sitting down watching tv and roaring laughing at something screaming roaring laughing and not caring what people think because you're 100% engaged in laughter free child is hugging and loving someone free child doesn't give a shit about what people think of it it's just

about meeting very wholesome fucking good feelings and needs and when you're expressing your free child that's uniquely you that's where you can achieve meaning when you're in a state of free child you're in your real self and the thing is when adults express free child it can actually be quite threatening so the difference between free child and and when you're in free child you're kind of aware of it you're you're aware that you're laughing you're okay with the fact that you're laughing if you're doing a little coloring book or you're messing with paints or you're playing with a dog you're aware of the fun you're having it feels okay you're enjoying it so when you express free child you're kind of open and aware about it when you're in adaptive child you're not aware of it it's unconscious you're you're kind of ashamed of it and it's being pushed down when you're when you're in a temper

and you're throwing a tantrum you don't know or think you're throwing a tantrum you're continually trying to rationalize it through adult behavior it's this continual rationalization so adaptive child when it expresses itself negatively you're not fully aware of it you're trying to keep it down keep it in control and it controls your behavior without you knowing about it but with free child laughing having fun with a dog creating you know you're doing it so the thing is and here's my theory about why the two lads went nuts at that office party one of the ways that most people express free child one of the ways that's considered socially acceptable now i don't think it's a healthy thing getting drunk all right now i'm not encouraging to getting drunk what i'm saying is i think free child is

kind of demonized in society and when a group of adults together get drunk, it becomes socially acceptable to express your free child. So at this Christmas party, the workers are drinking. They're doing conga lines. They're dancing, laughing, roaring, shouting, having fun. They're all expressing that lovely, fun fun free child part that's uninhibited not caring what people are thinking this collective expression of free child threatened the two bosses who were sober and it threatened them so much that their their fucking adaptive child exploded and they had to fight with each other

because humor and fun and laughter is always very threatening to positions that are solemn people who are in adaptive child like i said they're always covering it with something. And always be on the lookout for solemnity. Solemnity serves no purpose. Now solemnity is when something is very performatively serious and the worst thing you can do in that situation is to introduce any type of humour. The military is solemn. Religion is solemn.

The legal system is solemn. Academia is solemn. Religion is solemn. The legal system is solemn. Academia is solemn. The art world is solemn. Anywhere whereby everyone is engaging in this really serious performance and to crack a joke or to bring in humor is absolutely not allowed. That's taboo. So structures that are actually ridiculous when exposed to any criticality often use a heavy level of solemnity to hide this. Here's an example. The legal system. Some aspects of the legal system are fucking ridiculous. I can walk into any high street shop and I can legally buy a pair of underpants

and I know that these underpants were used were made using slave labor in Bangladesh with little children in inhumane conditions and I can legally purchase these underpants in a high street shop and it's a normal thing to do but if I wanted to buy If I wanted to buy cannabis off someone who I know is growing it in their shed, that's illegal. That's illegal and I could go to jail. No one's being hurt. There's no damage being done. It's a person growing a plant in a shed.

And if I buy it, that's illegal. But yet I can legally buy underpants that have been made in bangladesh using a forced labor of children so therefore the fucking legal system is parts of it are absolutely ridiculous religion the same thing what what do you mean the the bread going to a catholic church here's a communion way for it's the son of god there's christ no it's not it's bread it's not it's christ fucking ridiculous you can't laugh in church you can't laugh in court the art world into a fucking modern art gallery why is that painting worth 10 million i don't know it just is why is it worth 10 million can you explain to me why that painting is good no i can't i can't explain to you all right okay

can't laugh in an art gallery what does what does tell me why the painting is worth 10 million i'm gonna do it using a shit ton of really big words to confuse you i'm gonna talk about this piece of art i'm gonna talk about this sheep a sheep cut in half floating in glass i'm gonna talk about this using words that are so big that you're going to feel really confused and stupid and then you'll just believe me if I tell you the art has value. So the art world uses solemnity to hide ridiculousness. And so do people who live very frequently in their ideal selves.

Humour threatens solemnity. Humour exposes facades. Whenever that exists, something ridiculous is happening and someone's covering for some shit. Always. Fucking always. Because when a system or a person

is solid and has intrinsic worth, then they're not threatened by humour. Humour and humility. Humor and humility, because humor and humility are quite similar. So someone like the Brendan fella at his party with his BMW, Brendan's also the type of person who is not going to take very well to a slagging, or is not going to be very good at laughing at himself and is also very serious all the time and doesn't seem to laugh a lot because his identity is a facade it's it's a manufactured fragile adulthood and when you live in your real self and you're you have the freedom

to explore your free child you have humility and you have the capacity to self-deprecate humility is the ability to see yourself as being fallible as possibly being wrong sometimes self-deprecation is the ability to be able to laugh at yourself we have to be able to laugh at ourselves laughter is a very healing thing but people who are living their ideal selves laughter is very threatening they can't laugh at themselves because to laugh at themselves it peels back the facade so they get very angry and they get very defensive do you know what i mean having an ideal self up all the time is a lot of work lads it's a lot of hard work maintaining a facade something that isn't real a fake personality and that's why it's so easily exploitable by the forces of capitalism

because it's it's a hunger that's never ending and and also someone like that brendan chap he's going to find himself very easily triggered and angered by other adults exploring their free child other adults laughing jumping being silly is going to be hugely hugely threatening to Brendan because he's not able to explore that if you live in your ideal self and you're motivated by your adaptive child it's difficult to then explore the reality of your free child it's difficult to laugh to rub a dog to be compassionate to let loose it's very very difficult because then the ideal self falls apart and you're left going fuck who am i you know what i mean and now so now let's look at advertising let's look at how the same structure can be threatening to this luxury advertising

shit that feeds off the feeds to the ideal self and if we take this back to that hot take about the advertising the luxury advertising what's the one thing that's not present in any luxury advertising humor there is no humor anywhere because it's all 100% solemn. And solemnity is the performance of seriousness. So all these... I mean if you get a fucking one of these adverts with fucking David Beckham looking all cool and broody in a winter coat with a fucking Rolex watch.

Throw a fucking clown wig on him. See what happens then. It doesn't work. The advert doesn't work anymore it needs to be solemn and serious and adult in order to work and humor and fun destroys that it utterly destroys it so that's why i think the two lads had a scrap at the fucking party because everyone was in free child and it's also to take it back to my original point it's why i think certain adults get furiously angry with me if i'm making songs on twitch or if i'm wearing a plastic bag on my head because when i'm on twitch creating because what i'm doing is i'm writing songs in the moment and you have to

be silly to do that to create to be creative at its most initial stages you must engage in play you can't create all serious and broody that's horse shit if you're to create any piece of art its earliest genesis must come from play and who plays children play adults don't fucking play children and artists play so when i'm on twitch making music i'm playing like a child and being silly and this makes some adults fucking furious and i know what i'm doing because i'm as part of my mental health process as part of my active recovery and to try and make sure that i'm always trying to be in touch with my real self i incorporate the free child into my day as much as possible and i do it through creativity I make sure I make

time every day to fucking play to play and have fun like I'm three years of age because it's an it's a healthy expression of who I really am but society tells us knock that out of yourself once you get over a certain fucking age fuck that play with Lego, play with a dog, get a colouring book, mess around with paint, just for the sake of doing it, just for the sake of fucking doing it, and letting your free child out,

once a day, so that maybe, we're not completely dominated by this, toxic adaptive child, within us, that has us throwing tantrums, gossiping, being jealous of people, being possessive, all the negativity and toxic emotions. They're fine when you're three years of age but they're not useful trying to live in a society as an adult

and our brain will figure out a way to try and make them acceptable through this false performance of adulthood that's been sold to us by advertising so there's my hot take you cunts rub a dog put paint on a piece of paper.

Build something out of Lego. Fuck around with some crayons. Turn on a stand-up on Netflix and roar laughing. Engage with your free child. Once a day, make it part of your process. Make it part of your process to know who you truly are all right i'm gonna catch you next week you glorious cunts Thank you. rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first

ontario center in hamilton at 7 30 p.. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.