The Break-Up Diet - Are You Lonely or Just Cold? It’s Cuffing Season

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

It’s cold. London is dark by 4pm. Raya is suddenly popping off. Which can only mean one thing… it’s cuffing season ❄️💔In this episode, Yaz & Ilmz get painfully honest about winter situationships, temporary boyfriends, and the very real question: are you actually lonely — or are you just cold? From the intimacy of doing the food shop together to cosplaying a relationship that has absolutely no future, cuffing season has a way of blurring the lines between comfort and commitment.We talk about why winter flings hit harder than summer ones, how easy it is to confuse closeness with intention, and why being single during the festive season might actually be elite. There’s Raya chaos, London dating droughts, the Great Lock-In, and a reality check on letting winter trick you into someone who won’t survive spring.If you’re debating texting your ex, settling for a “just for now” situation, or wondering why everyone suddenly has plans with a boy, this episode is for you. Grab a blanket, light a candle, and press play — hot water bottles over exes, always.🕯️✨ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

let's switch it up we've been holding back way too much welcome to the breakup diet welcome back to another episode of the breakup diet we are your host yes and elms today we are going to be discussing cuffing season because it is the season to be cuffed unfortunately cuffing season is a little bit brutal. It hits you hard in London, I think. Everyone's back from their Euro summers. Everyone's feeling a bit disavled, and they kind of want a bit of companionship.

Raya's going to be booming more than ever. Yeah, it is. You know what I've noticed with Rai is there's certain weekends that pop off and certain... When there's, like, events, I feel, it's always popping off. Yeah. But during past week, my Raya was just like... I mean, mine wasn't like that this week.

I don't think I got many messages this week But I feel like this is with boys in general Like I feel like you either have Like a lot of people trying to go on dating with you Or you have no one I mean that's me, is that you? What is that about? One week I'll be like I'll be like asked out four times

The next week It's like zero Yeah Now that cuffing season is here I think it's gonna amp up the stakes with dating It's gonna make dating a lot more fun I'm not lying Like everyone's back

It's very superficial, don't get me wrong It's very like, oh, it's cold, I need someone to cuddle. There's all these festive plans. It'll be fun to like bring someone. Hang on, let's stop this for a sec. Subscribe and follow the breakup diet. You don't want to miss another episode. What is cuffing season to you?

Explain it. Like you're... Literally that. Okay, so for me, cuffing season is like when you basically have a boyfriend, but it's not, not a boyfriend like, you're not texting all the time, but you're sleeping with each other and you're hanging out. but it's mostly in the house and it's like the cutesy stuff but it's not good because it's confusing it's so intimate and you guys are so close doing like intimate things like doing the dishes

together getting groceries it's like the romance and all that is gone it's like very like homie and kind of settled you're like cosplaying a married couple yeah but then you're not and he might or she might go out and go get doing the same thing with five other people yeah that's brutal I haven't had that yet, and oh my God. Do you want to get cuffed this season? I don't have time, baby. I'm working. Yeah, but cuffing season, I feel like you always have time for a little cuff.

That sounded so, like a little cuff, like a handcuff. I don't know. I feel like cuffing is easier than dating. If you're actually dating with a purpose to find someone, that is time consuming and that is hard. And there's so much pressure to it as well. Yeah. So, like, with cuffing season, it's like a cheat code to, like, a temporary marriage, if you real, like without any big pressure for the future.

Yeah. So you're not going to get cuff. You don't want to get cuff. You just want to work, work, work. Yeah. Do you ever get lonely? Absolutely not. I'm always with people 24-7.

Yeah, you also don't live alone. No, no, no. Oh, yeah. If I haven't seen someone in a few days. It's like, oh. Do people know I exist? I got a bit weird. The other day, like my friend, just a friend, came over.

And I said something so weird in front of him. And I was like, sorry, I haven't like seen someone in two days. He was like, come to the park. I'm like, okay, I'm coming to the pub. I was like, I lost my ability to speak. You feel a bit like rusty with social interactions. Yeah, it reminds me of COVID. Yeah.

You know when you didn't see anyone for like a bit or something? And then you became a bit like socially inept. And now. Yeah, you're just like, hi. I'm like, oh. Like a croaky voice. Yeah. I think, yeah, if you are living alone,

then sometimes it's nice to get a little bit of cupping season going. And I like, I think the weather does kind of amplify. Like, you're cold. It's natural. as a human to want warmth of another human being. Yeah. Are you lonely or are you just cold? Yes, which brings us on to the game.

Are you lonely or are you cold? Let's do it. Okay, so whatever just comes to your head, just tell me. Would you rather cuddle your ex or buy a hot water bottle? Buy a hot water bottle. I mean, I don't know. He did give a good cuddle. That's so bad.

A lot of people can cuddle really well. He did have nice big arms and stuff though, but fine. fine we'll get the hot water bottle but secretly maybe the ex okay would you rather be single at Christmas or break up just before Valentine's Day single at Christmas I've had Christmas where I've like spent it all by myself and I tell you it is the best really all by myself the world is so quiet everyone's with their families or with their people and I'm like roaming around London and it's like the city is still it's a very romantic really I highly recommend Really?

Yeah, I love it. I've only had one Christmas without my parents, I think, and it was just with my brother. We went out for drinks on Christmas Eve, and the next day was so hungover, and then we just ordered, like, Lebanese takeaway or something really random on Christmas. Yeah. But I, personally, for that question, I would prefer to be broken up with before Valentine's Day. Because I don't really care about Valentine's Day. Yeah.

Like, if I'm honest, I think, Gaventon's Day. Valentine's Day is more fun. Oh, yeah, definitely. It's rerounded itself really well. You know what I mean? So, like, I don't really care about Valentine's Day. And to me, like, when I see Valentine's Day, like, straight couples celebrating, I know the girls producing that shit.

I know the girls produced the shoot. I know the girls asked her for the flowers, asked him for the flowers. Yeah, or they didn't even get her flowers. Exactly. It just feels so curated, you know. Yeah, maybe I'm saying that because I haven't had a good Valentine's Day. My Valentine's Day last year was so bad. that was like where the cracks probably started showing for me massively.

I didn't even get sent flowers. Not even flowers. Like not even cheap, shitty flowers. Yeah, Valentine's Day always shows the cracks in a relationship. All my Valentine's Day that happened the worst is because I was with someone. Yeah.

Like the last two years, I've had the best Valentine's Day because I've been celebrating with the girls. Yeah. Yeah. And then you know what else happened last Valentine's Day? Is my friend was staying here and she got, so basically this boy, this is kind of funny.

So this boy, she was like kind of seeing. Anyway, he, like, one time dropped her off at mine because she lives in Oxford. So he only had my address. So he sent her flowers to my address. Apparently, in Valentine's Day, you're not meant to say who they're from, right? So I get these flowers. Anyway, I was like, a bit weird that my boyfriend didn't, like, type his name or any.

But I was like, whatever. I didn't look at the outside box. I just saw the flowers, you know. I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Send a photo to my boyfriend. I was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. I love my flowers. He's like, they're not from me.

Oh, yikes. And I was like, what do you mean they're not from you? Yikes. And then I had like an hour, like, trying to work out who the hell they were from. And then I was like, oh my God, I should check the box that I like obviously didn't pick up. Then I checked the box and it said my friend's name, not my name. Right. But apparently all these like friends at work were like gaslighting him being like,

she's obviously cheating on you, all this sort of stuff. I was like, no, I'm not. And if I was, I'd be getting a much bigger bouquet. That was really talking about, don't mean that. That was a joke. You wouldn't post them in the summer. Should you even see them in the winter? Well, if you want to have cuffing season, yeah.

But if you don't know, then leave it. Yeah, I think no. Obviously, the good answer is no. Because if you're not going to post them in summer, you don't like them. Yeah. You're just cold. What's more dangerous? Cuffing season or a summer fling?

Cuffing season, because that's when you do the more intimate stuff. Summerflin, you're like still out and about with your friends, kind of. You've, like, integrated each other. other in each other's friend groups. Cuffing season, you're just like in your own bubble where it's just a tour of you, feelings get way more confusing. I mean, I think it depends on what dangerous is. Like, dangerous like you're going to end up together or dangerous like it's going to,

you know what I mean? I think I'm saying dangerous in terms of like when it becomes a bit messy with what it is that you guys want out of it. And winter is probably when it gets dangerous because it's just the two of you in that same bubble. Yeah. And that can get. confusing yeah yeah and then when the weather gets better and you're like back into your regular like

routine in your worlds that's when it's like oh it's gonna get a bit yeah that's when you know cuffing season's over and you've just like hooked up with somebody you might not even know you're in cuffing season right you might just think oh i'm having this nice fling with this boy in the winter all so cutesy and then bang april hits or may hits and then they start like going out more with their friends and like venturing out and traveling and you're suddenly not being seen anymore. That means you've just been finessed into a cuffing season without knowing. Gotta stay safe, guys. Finish the sentence. I knew it was cuffing season when? When everyone around me had plans with boys. Fair. Fair. I knew, for me, I knew it was

cuffing season when my friends are too busy to hang out because they've got a boy coming over or they're going on a date and I've just sat at home alone. This happened to be recently and I was like, oh, I'm a loser. I was like, where are my friends? Where is everyone? Yeah, when it's dark outside. That's how I know when it's cuffing season. Oh, yeah, when you're like, oh my God, like it's here.

Yeah, when it's like 4 p.m. and you look outside, you're like, I can't be willing to leave the house because it's dark and cold and raining. That's when I know cuffing season is here. That's when I need to get my shit together. Yeah, that's when the great lock-in starts. Yeah, the great lock-in starts. So do you think it's hell? healthy to have a cuff this season? No, no. I'm so against it. That's why I don't like take part

in it. Fair. I think it's what you got to do whatever you want to do. Exactly. You've got to do what suits you in your life. For me, a relationship is absolute no-go, career, career, career. So that's what the great lock-in. That's what cuffing season is for me, the great lock-in. The great-looking, fair. To be fair, we looked in last year. Yeah. Like, we cuffed ourselves to each other. Basically. We really worked hard last winter, which was kind of good. Good. I wasn't going out at all of Sydney. Yeah. Same. I'm just like not in the headspace for it. I'm in such a good place in my life right now. I don't want to ruin it.

Yeah. Or even, not even ruin it. Just have your energy shift. Because that's what it is. It's not even like, not all men are bad and not every relationship is bad. They are. No, they're not. They are. They are. Okay, we disagree. Not all men are bad, in my opinion. Anyway, but the thing is, if you're in a bad, not a bad relationship, but the wrong relationship. it can cost you you drain the energy and also the people that you're around you absorb and you like give off energy to them so like they're either going to take or you know what i mean or you're going to take from them and i don't know so i feel like if you're in a relationship that isn't good that's when you've got to just be like no i just need my job period and it's all it does come

down to energy it's also friendships though it's not it's someone who are around you Yeah, because you're giving and you're taking. You know what I mean? And you're often, there's like a saying, isn't it? Where you are the people you hang around with. So keep that in mind. And I think like for me, historically, every time I was with someone, people would always ask like, why she with him, why, like that kind of thing. And I just don't want that.

Fair. Like, I just want to be fucking left alone. Like, people always would have so much shit to say, I don't want that. Fair. And even if I do, like, I don't think I'd even tell anyone I'm with someone. Really? Really? Yeah.

People's opinion, they get so comfortable with me. Like, I've had friends that would get so brave about, you know, how, like, losery my exes were. And I'm like, have you looked at your boyfriend? Pisses me off. People's opinions of me being single right now pisses me off. So, yeah. Fair.

Fair. I honestly don't really care about people's opinions, actually. Like, I don't care. Obviously not, because people who have opinions about it are losers. it's just the fact that people think they have the right to have an opinion over me and my relationship statuses me off. Fair.

Who are you? Nobody. You've got an ugly-ass boyfriend who treats you like shit. Sorry. Do you think? I'm going to tell you a careful. Do you think, because you have opinions, this is why they feel comfortable to do it? Probably. Because you are...

I'm like a very open book, especially on socials. So I have a lot of randoms telling me X, Y, Z. And I'm like, dude, I know I come across as the people's best friends on social, I'm not your best friend in real life because I've never met you. That just comes with the territory. That's going to come with the territory with this as well. Yeah, fair. Yeah, I think, yeah, that's what the territory is of having a podcast where you talk about relationships. People will have opinion.

Let them. Yeah. Let them. Yeah. You know, you can have whatever opinion you want. The only one that matters is my own. Yeah. Yeah.

That's also with, like, people when they're scared in relationships about what other people think, really I don't understand that like yeah I get it I get it to a certain point if like your whole family hates your ex or can't see it and then it's like a really awkward dynamic and it makes like but if someone like has an opinion on your relationship really at the end of the day it doesn't matter it really does like it's only you and your partner or whoever you're in the relationship with even friendship if you feel like you can be in that friendship and be like fine and good and whatever you do it yeah it's your prerogative at the end of the day isn't it yeah and that's when you need to put up your boundaries to your friends or to your family and say look

i appreciate your opinion but i don't i appreciate that you have your opinion but i don't want to take it thank you goodbye i appreciate you have your opinion don't tell me i don't know the fuck yeah i don't want to have this conversation with you fair but maybe like say it in a nice way like we can say it in a nice way we're both quite blunt so like that just say it may be nicer because I'm like come off a bit like wow you know especially they're only looking out for you like I've like no boys are a bum and in comparison to my friends and I'm like I'm like ugh you know but then I think where I have to work on this wording it in a way that it doesn't come off so like yeah is a thing I need to learn personally for sure yeah because I come off like

and then I'm like after I've been told a few times now I'm like okay that's something I need to work on. Emma, what is the best part of being single this winter? I get to just work on myself, work on my career goals, and just make myself happy. I'll hang out with my friends. Like, the seasonal offense of cupping season, you've got Thanksgiving, you've got Halloween, you've got Christmas, New Year's. You can do that with your best friends.

Yeah, it's more fun with your best friends too. So much fun. Like, you're going away for Halloween. How exciting. I wouldn't have done that last year. Yeah, yeah, because you wouldn't be. able to. I mean, I would have, I would have, but I would have felt guilty. See? Like I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn't have any sort of, I wouldn't, he wouldn't and ever have said, don't do that, but I wouldn't have done it, because I would have done it, because of you, babe, it's your first one as a single person, are you excited, how do you feel? Um, I'm excited. but then also, I don't really care to get hook up with someone if I'm on us.

Like, I don't have a desire to do that. Like, if you want to see me, take me out on dates and let's go do fun things and then fine. Then, okay, then we could talk about some cuffing. Take me to Winda Wonderland and win me the biggest teddy and then. And then. I've never even been on a date into Winter Wonderland. I feel deprived. I'm like, take me.

Oh, we've got to change. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I think also being single in winter is good because it's the winter arc to come up for summer and you have some time to like hermit, you know, get your stuff in order. And then think about what's important to you. And I think that's quite powerful, no? Yeah. Yeah. This winter's going to be really good for you. Yes. I can feel it. Same with you. Yeah. But you're also skipping winters. You're actually like you're being here the whole winter. You're going to Australia for summer. So let's not lie. You're like, oh yeah, I feel like, I'm like, yeah, bitch. You're not even here. That's why it's easy for me to be like, oh, I don't need to cough. I'm really here for like two weeks.

Yeah, you're summer hopping. Yeah. And you're doing the best part of like being here till December and then leaving. When the lights are off, I'm like, we'll see you. Yeah. Maybe I need to do that. Like, Jesus. I think so too.

Anyway, don't wait. Don't be worried if you're single this winter because it goes really fast. And summer's just around the corner and then you can focus, lock in and then have the craziest summer ever. Yeah. Is there anything you find annoying about being single, Ilma? Absolutely not. Do you find anything annoying about being single? The only annoying thing I find about being single is like, I like love and I like like a relationship and I like to count on somebody to have a teammate. You know, I think that's the only thing that I don't like about being single. Also, thankfully right now, a lot of my friends are single.

That makes it so fun. But when I've previously in the past had it when everyone was in a relationship, that's when if you're single, it just, makes you feel a bit lonely and left out. So that's the only annoying thing about it. Even if you're not actually left out, like you still do things with your friends and you're focusing on yourself, it makes you feel like that. Yeah, you're like in a different, I guess, different puzzle piece shape. Yeah. That doesn't fit into their coughing season, big puzzle. Yeah, and then if they're all cozy and stuff and then you want to do something and meet someone or even just go out and have fun with your friends and you don't, can't do that because they're all

with their boyfriends, and it's like, or their partner or whatever, then you're like, me, I hate you all. Come out with me, please. Yeah, but there's so much power in being single. You're like in a state where you can kind of pick and choose who you want to be with. And honestly, the more we know about relationships, they all suck. Every relationship that I've like seen, been in, they've all had massive problems, so I can't even romanticize them and their cuffing season. I don't even feel left out because I'm like, I know the tea in your relationship, because I'm happy. That's the reality.

I think there's like some relationships that are like really good and they work and they get through the rough stuff. They only work because the woman is putting the compromise. No. I think there are some. There obviously are some. Otherwise, no one. Name them.

Name a relationship where a man has held it together. Yeah, but even if I name, I don't want to name out my friends and stuff. Give me an example. I'm my friend. Okay. So he lays it down. He's like the strong foundation and he does all the compromising. No, it doesn't do all of it because they're in a partnership.

Like they both do. That's the thing. My point was the relationships that you see that are like flourishing tends to be because women are energetically putting more. That's why I can't really romanticize relationships. I don't know. I feel like sometimes, I feel like it's a, what's it, pendulum? or whatever,

when they switch. Like, is that the right word? Yeah, yeah. Whereas sometimes it, you switch one times it's somebody else more, the other time it's somebody else more.

You know what I mean? That's a nice balance. I think it's hard, especially now, like with all the social media and, like, the world we live in. Yeah,

I think it's really hard to get a relationship that has a very, very, very strong foundation without any cracks, but I don't think it's impossible. I definitely think there is. And I think when you do find that,

then you have to hold on to both sides because it's hard. Yeah, like everyone put an equal effort. Yeah, I think it's hard to find the right person, sorry. I agree, because I can list so many great women. So many great women. Yeah, I can list great guys to be fair, but then it's also, I don't know, I just think it's hard. It's not just about being a good person or just good looking, because you have to, I don't know, everyone has it.

The values have to align. Yeah, and everyone has their own set of things that might be slightly different. I agree. You know, so it's bloody hard out there. Like, yeah, you can get somebody that's good looking and has a good job, but then they might be boring as bad shit, or they might be, like, not fun or not want to do anything, or they don't want kids and you want kids, like.

Yeah. It's really hard, so don't rush into something. Don't rush into anything. Being single is great. Being in a relationship is great. It's just all depends on what you want and where you're at in your life. Yeah. Yeah.

But I think words of wisdom, is don't get into a relationship unless they're just uplifting you. I agree. Even cuffing, don't get into cuffing unless you're being uplifted. I agree. That's very powerful. Yeah. So thanks, guys. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.