The Break-Up Diet - Detach. Delete. Discover Who You Are Without Them.

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Ever caught your ex pretending your life was theirs? 👀 From stealing holiday photos for Instagram highlights to dating within your circle of friends, the breakup drama can get messy.In this episode of The Break-Up Diet, Yasmin & Ilma dive into:✨ Lifestyle theft and the audacity of exes✨ Awkward overlap when exes date your friends✨ The struggle of detaching when your brain still craves the familiar✨ First dates after breakups (tears, dread, and unexpected triggers)✨ How heartbreak actually teaches you confidence, boundaries & clarityThis isn’t just about the drama — it’s about taking your power back. Detach. Delete. Discover who you are without them.💌 Subscribe for more raw, relatable breakup stories and healing advice every week!Send us a textInstagram: @thebreakupdietpod TikTok: @thebreakupdietpodEmail: [e-mail]

Ilma, am I being psycho or am I not being psycho? Context, please. What have you done? Why don't what have I done? You don't know. What has he done? Do we need to murder someone? I mean, maybe. Let's switch it up. We've been holding back way too much. Welcome to the breakup diet.

Am I allowed to feel like this is weird? You break up with someone, they never have a highlight story, and now they suddenly have a highlight story. The only highlight story that isn't related to their job is our first holiday I ever took him on. Like, your holiday home? Yeah, my holiday home and also the Monica Grand Prix. Am I allowed to feel like that's weird?

Never up there before, and now suddenly it's up there. Oh my God, you're handling it so much calm than I am, because I would have gone back shit. What the hell? No, no, I did go back shit. I did, like, because about three people sent it to me, like, that's really weird. And I was like, yeah, that is weird.

And then when the third person sent it to me, I was like, nah, that is weird, I'm going to message. So I sent him a message being like, that is weird, that you're obviously using this to try to get girls to flex that you have some lifestyle. I'm like, you didn't pay for it. It's your lifestyle. I'm getting lifestyle catfished.

Lifestyle fished. It's like identity theft, but with like lifestyle, lifestyle theft. I'm having lifestyle theft from my ex. Hang on, let's stop just for a sec. Subscribe and follow the breakup diet You don't want to miss another episode Get wide guys get pissed off

When girls like You know when they take them away And then they're like I don't know posting videos and stuff Because I'm like I know how it feels I am speechless dude And let me just drop in another thing

I haven't told Ilver any of this Purely for this reaction Also took out my friend on a date Your friend Yeah Who? This girl that I used to be friends with years ago, right? To be fair, like, I wasn't following him anymore or anything like this.

We had each other blog, so, like, on Instagram you couldn't see mutuals or anything. And, like, she was a friend from years ago, and I hadn't seen her in ages. But, like, we had organized, how funny is this? We had organized a meetup, right, her and I, that week. Anyway, yeah, Michael Winters, I'm like, God. And then I saw it, and I was like, oh, no, because I just know, like, he's acting. active, active on the Instagram, as you know, because he's been looking at even your friend's stories

and all this sort of stuff and being like, isn't that Yaspen's ex? Yes, the horny one is Yasman's ex, yeah. She didn't know, and then I saw it on Instagram, and all I said to her was like, hey, have you known this guy? And she was like, Raya, I was like, oh, okay, that's my ex. And I was like, look, it's not my place to say you can go there or not. I just thought I'd tell you as we're going for dinner,

and, like, it looked like I was setting you up otherwise. Like, I'm just said I've worked that out just so you know. you can go there if you want to go there. It's not my thing. Like obviously probably would be a bit awkward for me and I probably wouldn't like be that, like wanting to hang out that much knowing, you know what I mean? Yeah, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's with my... Yeah, yeah. But also I was like, I was like, it's not my place to say you can't go there. Sorry, I was going to say, if she wants him for the lifestyle, she's better of dating you. I know. Listen, he didn't provide any lifestyle. I can tell you that much. Which is fine.

which is fine. I wasn't with him because of that. But don't, I don't keep theft to my lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. Leave my lifestyle out of this. So invasive that it's like your house. He was posting up. Yeah. That's crazy to me.

Yeah. And also just like, it's just a bit weird to put out. And the timing of it. It's like weird, disrespectful as far. Oh yeah. No, no. It's so disrespectful. But he admitted that after. He didn't say disrespectful. for, but he admitted after... That it's wrong.

Not wrong, but, like, a big of years. No, he's doing it to get girls. Okay, if he had that highlight story up from when we were dating. Yeah, yeah, I'd get it. You know what I mean? And just didn't remove it. But the only thing in there, besides his fucking fucking stuff, is that.

That is crazy, dude. I feel like the effort that men make to get 10 minutes of sex is, like, insane. Yeah. Because that's what it is for, to get laid, get girls. Yeah. And you know how, you know how guys normally, like, I'm being very, like, general, but guys really buy girls' gifts and all this sort of stuff.

I like to spoil whoever I'm with. Like, I'm just like that. Yeah, yeah. But I have to have something in return to feel like I want to keep doing that. You wanted to feel like a partnership. Yeah, like even if it's not like getting loads of gifts, but you have to feel like you're really, like, special. You want initiative from the partner, basically.

Yeah. Anyway, now I know how that feels too, because apparently he's gone on dates and the girls have been like, oh, I love your style. And he's like, literally everything I've worn in front of this girl has been, you've bought me. And I'm like, yeah, I should have left you in your tight guinea jeans. Oh, my God. But it's funny how the world works, too.

Like, what is the chances? I have not seen this friend in so long. And then we organize the meet up. And then, like, one, I unblock him because I see all this sort of stuff and I'm getting sent all this sort of stuff. And I was like, okay, so I unblocked him. And then I see that she's following him and he's following her. And I'm like, oh, interesting.

Yeah. Did he know she was a friend of your own? he says no. Better to be naive, honestly. Yeah, but then also, if I'm seeing a guy on Ryan and see that we have mutuals, I'm also, even any guy,

the full background check on social media before I'm going on a date with them. I don't know, but I trust her and what she says. Yeah, yeah. So I don't actually, I don't blame her for going on a date. Oh, no, no, no. She's not to be blamed at all. No, I think he probably knew, but probably didn't fucking care. Yeah.

I mean, he's obviously doesn't care. in general. He just cares about more what... Getting bitches. Yeah, what girls think of him on Instagram than what I think. Who actually knew him. I think with people going through a breakup, you can't say, like, oh, you can't get closure, or you need to get closure this way or that way.

Like, I've had quite a few conversations now after where I thought that I'd had closure. This is the first time I feel like I'm fully have like, oh no, I'm okay. Like, you are done. And I'm actually very secure, which I did not realize. You are. I thought I was an insecure person

like in my breakup Oh yeah yeah You know what I mean Like attached and all this sort of stuff I thought that I wasn't secure You are dude You are good This is like the best you've ever been

The best you've ever looked Like I mean like I don't feel a need to like Seek validation from men And fake a fucking lifestyle Yeah I don't I don't care Like honestly

If a really nice guy comes along And like we vibe That's cool But like I don't need to like Go on my Instagram and hit likes to everyone, like, to feel, or go on how many dates to feel, like, good about myself. Like, I'm happy being alone.

Babe, that's just how it always is. Like, women, they just, like, find themselves after a breakup, and they feel so, like, secure and good about themselves, and it reflects in their skin and the way they look. These men, they just cheapen their worth and just date, date, follow, unfollow, like, it's just giving such porn addict behavior. Yeah. I know. I like, ugh.

No. No, it's just not for us and honestly, reach to their own journey. But it does suck. Like, even at the start, like, it's a weird thing you go through because your brain like literally latches onto, like, what you had, even if it wasn't great. You latch on to, like, still wanting it.

No, that detachment phase is crazy. Yeah. Because even though you know it's not right, even though you don't really like them, Even though you were like, okay, I was settling, all this sort of stuff, it doesn't matter. No, exactly, because your brain was used to, like, being a certain type of way and having someone there. It is, like, a big adjustment. Even if they weren't really there.

No, yeah. There was still, like, a connection there, and you need to train your brain to basically switch it off. And I believe, like, with breakups and stuff and with relationships, I really believe you keep getting your lesson until you, like, you keep getting the same cycle until you learn your lesson. 100% babe So But the lesson will show up And show up till you've learnt it Yeah

Yeah Yeah I'm gonna have to say this You know what he said to me on the phone What? He goes Yeah like I just wish you paid for more shit That's disgusting yes

Wait you didn't even pay for the taxis down to set to pay And then he had the audacity After to say that You shut him up quick right Yes I said shut up I was like that's a joke yeah you paid for dinner but we barely went for dinner and also I also did pay for a few dinners don't make shit up but on a positive note because he was like that level it's so easy

for you to go up that level with the next person honestly I just want somebody that's nice and like wants that's a relationship even like with bare minimum you're gonna find that so easily literally anyone you date off of this is gonna be like 10 times better than him yeah I hope Oh, 100%. It's such an easy benchmark to pass. With breakups, you just got to take them step by step because you might go backwards, you might go forwards. You just don't know.

No, you don't know. And you don't know when you're going to get it. Even the closure. Like, you can't say one month I'm going to have this closure. You don't know. I thought I would have got my closure before I did. It does take time. Like, it's such a deep...

Like, especially if you guys were intimate and together for so long. Like, so much history. like things will come up obviously everybody has different things in general but like intimacy in that sort of thing is so like for me I'm like actually quite like private on that sort of stuff it took me a long time to like open up to him even slightly I didn't fully ever open up to him I don't think it was just so like weird saying but I never felt really really fully comfortable thank fucking God yeah like now thank God yeah yeah like obviously my body was telling me before oh yeah so that's the reason I never fully fully did but I did a lot and you know

miss the person. Like, I miss the person. Like, we would talk all the time. It was like my friend. It was like my, my best friend for two years. So, like, even though, like, if we had up and downs, like, you do lose that. You miss the friendship, it's hard. Yeah. And even when on this call, we were speaking and, yeah, the first start of it, I was like, what the fuck are you doing, basically? Yeah. And it wasn't that nice. But then at the end, for me, I felt like it was kind of weird because it was kind of like, we were talking like friends and it was like sad, but nice. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. It's just like the turn off the leaves.

Yeah. But tune in to when we bump into each other because I... I don't think I'll actually do anything, but like, Jesus, my reaction, I don't know what... I don't think I'll say anything, I don't think I'll do anything, but like I might die a bit inside. Or I might get the ick. Honestly, I hope he goes back to his old fashion style and then it'll be very easy. Oh, I think you're going to get the ick anyway. Or imagine, imagine if he's wearing everything.

if he's wearing everything I bought him, that would give me the ick. He probably will be. No one else is going to buy him solely, that was nice. No, no, no, no. I might have to spill a drink on it. Sorry, don't wear white. Red wine.

Yeah. Red wine. I was just like, go over it. On a date, Merton. On a date, on a date. Spill the red wine and be like, well, at least you can't wear the jumper I bought you anymore. Sucks to be you.

And the girl's like, You bought, you still wear your Isis jumper? Oh, messy. That would be funny. I mean, this is all a fantasy. Like, some people get off on porn. I'm getting off on like, fantasy. Fantasizing my run-in.

Yeah. Oh, my other question for you. So, what did you have when you went on your first date after your first breakup? Like, your first, what did you feel? Or was it good or was it bad? Or, like, what, do you remember anything from your first date post-breakup? Oh, my God. Yes, so this was last year.

It was on the lead-up, like, on the lead-up to the date, I was dreading it. Like, I was with my friend just before, and I was texting, and he's like, who you texting? I'm like, oh, I think I want to go on a date with Raya guy. He's like, dude, really? Like, do you really want to go? And I'm like, no, but, like, oh, like, what else is there to do on a Saturday night? Like, I've got nothing going on. How long after was it?

Six months. Okay, wow. Fair, fair, fair, okay. Yeah, and then, where. had the best time. Did you? Yeah, like the first, like, five minutes. Actually, no, maybe the lead-up, like,

especially, like, walking to the table. You know, when he sees you and you're, like, walking to the table and, like, his eye contact, I was like, oh, my God, like, can I do this? And I sat down, and, like, the first thing he said was, like, you look really beautiful. And I'm like, okay. And also, because he was really hot,

I'm like, okay, whatever happens happens, and we, like, end up having, like, a nine-hour date. that's so nice it was like perfect but dates this year's just not been it that's nice you had a nice experience yeah like a nice first date yeah then saw him like two weeks after in miami i was my oh we always talk about miami man miami man i know i see that i see that i would have got so clumsy i'm so clumsy like i'm actually so embarrassing oh don't get me wrong I was very, like, icky. Like, you know how I am, when I flirt?

I was, like, that worse. I'm probably, like, spit in the corner of my mouth. Like... You see, me, on a per se? Like, I'm... I honestly think I need a drink before, because if I go in cold, I'm like, why am I being so awkward?

Because I'm not even... I'm not awkward in general. Like, do I have, like, mobility, like, issues? Like... I just don't understand my spatial awareness. Like, I'm always knocking over something. Or, like, you know, when you go through the tables and they're close to...

together, like my ass is, like, knocking over the salt and pepper on the other table. I'm like, oh, sorry. Or, like, even, like, the corner of your shoes, like the court heels, it, like, points into a table. Yeah. You're like, oh, I have a really bad temperature control in my body. Like, it does not work, full stop. And if I'm even remotely a bit, like, not ultra, ultra-cal, which is pretty much all the

time, I will have a sweat attack. I almost say, you know what I need to have? I need to invest in one of those electric fams and I'll just pop it out of my bag and just like, yeah, but it was a bit awkward on a date, you walk up with like an electric fan. They're like, what the fuck? I'll think, just like have it on your lap

and then they'll see like your hair like magically plur. Like, oh! Yeah. What is going on? But yeah, the first day is awkward. But the lead up to it, it just sucks because your mind is like overthinking.

And I feel like, if you're, you don't, like you always don't want to go. Like, I don't think I've wanted to go. No offense to anyone I've been on the date. I never want to go on the date. And then when I'm there, I'm like, okay, actually, this isn't mad. Yeah. Just like the lead-up. Even like getting ready, I'm like, I don't want to do this. I know. This is maybe because I was younger. Before when I went on dates, I used to glokey think about things that I would talk about if I, like, it went silent. Ever go silence because I'm yapping. Okay, fair. Yeah. For me, I used to like get,

unless was maybe because I hadn't dated that many people, but I was, like, worried about I don't know if it went silent if they were going to like me and all this. Now I'm like, you know what? You should squirm. I'm not squirming. I'll sit there and drink my drink again. Yeah, yeah. Ball's on your court.

Yeah. Like, if I don't want to talk to you, I won't talk to you. Yeah, yeah. You got to make it interesting. Yeah. Make it worth my time. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever had an awkward date? No, but I've had a date that's like ended awkwardly. That's about it. Which is the kissing in the car once? Yeah, where he like tried to kiss me in the car on the first date and I was like, nah. And he got really angry. and I'm like, okay, like, the Uber driver's right there. Like, I don't really want to have our first kiss in the Toyota Prius.

You know? Yeah. Standards. Yeah. I don't know if I told you. What? I went on a date, and this was, like, it wasn't even my first date, but, like, it was like, I don't know, I was obviously feeling emotional.

And I went on a date, and, like, he basically said something. This is, like, quite a bit in. like, I don't drink that, like I don't drink that much. It's like I was a bit tipsy or drunk, I'm not sure. Anyway, he like said something that reminded me of my ex and I fully burst out crying. Elma, not a little bit. When I cry, I can't stop as well.

I'm talking Niagara Falls, black eyeliner everywhere, swimming on my face. Swimming. So then he was like, do you want to go to the bathroom? I'll go to the bathroom. No idea why I'm crying. It was so long ago this. idea. He was like, yeah, yeah, don't worry, I get it. I'm like, yeah, so long ago, because it's not, like, super close, but it also is not that long. Anyway, went to the bathroom,

sword myself out, came back, and then obviously tried to, like, justify why I was crying because, like, it was very out of the blue. Anyway, started crying again, because I was trying to justify why I was crying, which made me think about it. Had to go to the bathroom again. And then, bless him, he tried to kiss me and I was like, no! Read the room! No! I'm crying you over my ex, and you're trying to kiss me, too.

I know, you can't kiss me. Men are so easy. Then I had to send a message being like, look, I think you're really nice. And also, he was so sweet. Like, he did nothing wrong. He's so sweet, so nice. Perfect gentleman.

All this. Good looking, whatever. But I was like, I think me crying over my ex means I shouldn't be on a date. Yeah. You know? No need to rush No need to go on a date

Like these men are there And these men are easy Like it's fine But what goes to your head To try to kiss somebody When they're crying about their ex Man they're just crazy Maybe I wasn't clear

That it was obviously about my ex But I mean, no But even then Like I wouldn't want to get with someone Who just cried Like it's weird It's a bit predatory If anything

Yeah Ew Yeah Glad that's done Yeah Yeah First dates are weird Breakups are weird

It's all just a crazy journey You'll learn new things different day. I wonder what my next break I'll be like. I wonder if it'll be easier. It might be. Depending on how long it is. I think also it turns on how intense your relationship was. My relationship wasn't

intense and I still reacted like that. So I don't know if it was intense. I think we might have to have another show. Like, they have to have a two-part series of like, we'd have to film way more frequently. Yeah, yeah. Breakup Diet Squared. Yeah.

Yeah. It would be a lot. It would be a lot, but we'll cross our bridge when we get there. If we get that. We will. Man are so easy, dude. No, if we get there, I don't want to have another break up. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, touch wood.

Yeah, you got this. Yeah, you got this too. You were the great help of the breakup. Oh, I was barely doing shit. No, you did, you did. You gave me some pet talk. You were brutal too soon. Like, you was, oh, we didn't even air this episode.

because Ilma gave me... I took it too far. Like, it was correct, but I was not ready to hear such a thing. You were like... I took it too far. I don't know how to read the room. Yeah, but yes, you weren't happening.

And I was like... I don't talk about that just yet. I was like, Ilma, I know I wasn't happy, but don't fucking say that. Yeah, sorry, I... But I'm glad, like, you found a lie, you know, you're worth, you know what you want. You're so much independent,

in yourself. Yeah. So that is a good thing from my breakup. Yeah. Which I have to give him props for. Like he was actually good for me as well. Although he's good for me in many ways. Obviously he's given us loads of content for this.

Thank you. And then thank you very much. We've got a lot more listeners. He made me a lot more confident as a person, which is like I needed that. Out of everything I needed that the most, probably. Like I don't really need anything else, but I needed that at that time. Yeah. So thank you for that.

Exactly. Each relationship's like, serve a purpose. They serve a great lesson. Like, there's nothing bad. Yeah, and you know what you want. Like, you know, I know that I want somebody that's actually like my boyfriend. Who's actually there in the same city. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, not even the same city, but it's actually just like in a relationship because they want to be in a relationship, not just to fill some time. Yeah, I agree. It's a good and bad things. Good and bad things, but they're all fun in between.

Yeah, the wild roller coaster. It really is. Thanks guys for listening and tune in for next week. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.