The Break-Up Diet - I Can't Believe I Let That Man Ruin My Summer.

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

This week’s episode is a little different because it’s just me.And honestly… I wanted to record this episode because this time last year I was an absolute MESS.My breakup was still fresh, I was stalking my ex’s following list like it was a full-time job, convincing myself I was fine when I absolutely was not, and genuinely didn’t believe I would ever get over him.Fast forward one year and I can honestly say… I can’t believe I let that man ruin my summer.In this episode I’m talking about everything I wish I knew a year ago, the embarrassing things I did after my breakup that I swore I’d never admit out loud, why checking their social media keeps you stuck, dating before you’re ready, feeling like you’ll never be happy again, and the pressure to have a “hot girl summer” when you’re secretly trying to hold yourself together.We also get into why breakups can make you feel completely lost, grieving the future you imagined together, feeling rejected, comparing everyone to your ex, and the moment I realised I wasn’t actually missing him anymore… I was finally getting myself back.If you’re going through heartbreak right now and feel like you’re never going to be okay again, I promise you this episode is for you.Because one year ago I genuinely thought my life was over.And now? I barely recognise that girl.So if you're currently stalking his followers, replaying old conversations, wondering if you'll ever stop missing him, or feeling like everyone else has moved on except you… grab a drink, get comfy, and let's have a chat. 💌✨🎧 I Can’t Believe I Let That Man Ruin My Summer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the breakup diet. Today, it's just me. I'm doing a solo episode, so try not to fall asleep, and I hope you like it. But I thought it was really important to talk about how different you can feel in one year, because if you're going through a breakup right now and you feel like it's never going to get better and you're really in the feels, then this episode is probably for you because that was literally me last year. Like this time last year, I was so upset still because my breakup had only really been like a month and a half before or maybe, yeah, something like that. So I was still very much so like processing it.

Actually, I wasn't even processing it. I was just upset and angry and hurt. So whereas like this time, like right now, I don't have any of those feelings anymore and they felt so, so intense back then. So this is like your little reminder that it will get better and it just does take time. So hang in there. And yeah, I'm just going to talk about my experience really from like maybe just before my breakup last year to this time last year to how I'm feeling now and the differences. So yeah, let's get into it. Buckle up, bitches. This is going to get bumpy.

This is the breakup diet. My breakup happened last year at the very end of April. And before we actually had the breakup, we weren't arguing too much, but I just remember having a lot of days where I would be crying and I didn't really know why. And I was super overwhelmed and stressed. And I felt like my boyfriend at the time was pushing me away. But then he was obviously telling me very different things to my face.

And like when we'd have calls and stuff, it was very different. I was very confused in my emotions because although I felt like something was off and like I really I knew deep down something was off, I didn't really accept it or want to accept it because he was telling me something completely different when we were talking. So I was just really confused and sad and I felt really lonely in my relationship at the end. And then when we had the breakup, although I had those feelings before, I felt so blindsided. because obviously I remember getting stuck on, like, a sentence that he said to me before, maybe like two weeks before we broke up.

And it was something along the lines of being like, yes, I love you and I want to be with you. But if you're not sure, like, we're not going to see each other for a little bit, like, you can think about it then, but I love you and I want to be with you. And I remember when we had the breakup, I was really stuck on how somebody could say that sentence. if they didn't mean it, because obviously you don't mean it if we're breaking up two days, not two days, two weeks later. So that was a lesson that I learned last year. I mean, I probably didn't actually learn it until this year, but a lesson that I learned is not to trust everything that people say. And sometimes people use words where they don't mean them in the same

way that you do. I know myself. And like when I say, I love you, like obviously if you're saying it when you hang up the phone and you're like, I love you, that's not quite the same. But I mean, when you're with someone and you say, like, I love you and I want to be with you, I personally would never say that if I was going to break up with somebody in two weeks. If you have a feeling in your gut that something's going to happen or you're feeling like something's off, it probably is and you have to really not trust what they say, which I know sounds a bit bad, but that was my experience. Also, this time last year, I was kind of two months.

post breakup, something that kept me really stuck in not letting go of my ex and not accepting that we'd actually broken up was I was always checking his social media. I was like looking up all the girls he was following every single one. I was then cross-referencing if they followed him back and that's so unhealthy and it just keeps you in such a loop and then even though you're not with that person or you're constantly thinking about that person. I don't know, making up scenarios and things in your head. And that's something that I really advise you not to do if you're going through a breakup

because you might do it once and it's kind of fun. Don't get me wrong, like it's kind of fun to work it out and like be a bit of a detective. But if it becomes a habit and you're doing it every single day, it's so bad because it's so hard to break that habit and it can take you a long time. Like for me, I was probably looking for like six months after our breakup, which sounds so crazy.

Some of the hardest things about a breakup is like the embarrassing stuff that you do that you don't want to tell anyone because they're that embarrassing. Like, what did I do after my breakup? I did so many things that were so embarrassing, but one of them was, he recently followed this girl and I couldn't look at her or look at her page, her Instagram page, because she was private. So I went on to Google Images and like,

or not Google images. I went on to Google, typed in her name from her handle and then went into images and there was like loads of LinkedIn posts. So I clicked on one of the images and it took me to her LinkedIn and then was looking at her LinkedIn because I couldn't look at her Instagram. Now that is so stalkery and so embarrassing. And then, oh, I really took it a step more.

And the next time I spoke to my ex at the time, he, like, said something about being sorry because he did something, like, he didn't message me on my birthday, I think, and it was only like four days after we broke up. And he purposely went offline that day, so obviously he wasn't seeing anything that anyone was posting of me. And then didn't send me a message or didn't even do anything. And so I was really hurt, which does not excuse this embarrassing behavior. but then I basically quoted one of a LinkedIn posts when he texted me the next day.

So the day after my birthday, he was like, oh, sorry, like I didn't reach out. I hope you had a nice day. And I just like, one of her LinkedIn posts that I'd seen used the quote, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So I said in the words of the girl's name, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Now, sorry, but that is so petty from me. and like would I do something like that now? No, I don't think you should do something like that now.

Like that's prime example of breakup emotions that you should not act on and you should be better than I was because that's what I did. He obviously didn't reply to me. But at that moment I felt like I won that conversation. So it was a little win for me even though it was very petty and you shouldn't do that. Another thing that I did that was really embarrassing that I don't feel like people talk that much about. God, I'm actually like, cringing out at myself. Because my ex was following so many people after we broke up,

and I was like an actual crazy lady looking at every single one of them, I like would remember, and I remember I had a gut feeling about one of the girls. I was like, I just know they're on a date. I just had a feeling they're on a date because she posted this story in this area, and I was like, I know he loves that area. A few weeks went by and I obviously looked at it again, like her story again. And then she'd ended up posting one of those, like, photo that was on her story a few weeks ago, she posted it. And I randomly looked at the comments

and I like saw that my ex had commented on the photo that he took the photo. I basically posted a photo and like the caption was what he commented on her photo, which was like, he didn't work that out. And I know he didn't work that out. But in my head, I was like, ha ha, that's so intelligent. Like he's obviously going to look at my post and be like, oh my God, that's the same like caption. But he didn't. that was really embarrassing that I did that. And I actually forgot that I did that. Anyway, I did some melodramatic things. Like, I also, the day after we broke up, I was like, I know what's going to really hurt and like get him to think about his decision. I basically

put all my letters that I'd ever wrote, no, not that I'd wrote, sorry, I put all the letters that he'd given to me over like Christmas, anniversaries, my birthday, any letter that he, any letter that he'd given to me. I basically put them all in an envelope and sent them back first class to where he was living at the time because I was like, he's going to open this and then read all the nice things he said about me and be upset. Turns out, like, I don't even think he ever opened that. Like, mail, I think maybe what happened is his dad probably saw the post and was like, I definitely think that's from Yaz and just didn't give it to him. None of those things worked in my favor. Like, none of them got the reaction that I wanted. If you're doing something,

embarrassing after a breakup. It's okay. We won't judge you, but try not to because their reaction is never what you think it's going to be. And also looking back on it like a year later, like I am now, I'm like, my God, that was petty. And did I need to do that? Absolutely not. But I still stand by it a little bit because at the time, like, for example, the first one of the LinkedIn, me quoting the girl, that did make me feel better in the moment. So, I know that's not good, but like it did. It did. And it was funny.

It was probably the first time I actually laughed after my breakup. I was like, that is genius. And that's like a checkmate. Also last year at this time, so June, I went on holiday with my family, which was actually such a good thing. Because I hadn't been on holiday since we broke up at this point. And I literally just went away. We went to Dubai.

It was so good because it was just like a reset. I literally just like went to the gym. laid by the pool, had like cute family time with my parents, and it kind of gave me a little bit of a break from being like in my same routine and missing my ex because I feel like when you go away, you're more distracted so you don't really focus in on like everything as much, maybe. That's something that I recommend doing as well if you're going through a breakup and you can. Even if you go somewhere for the day, honestly,

just get out of your normal routine because it's so hard. especially in the first few months when you're going through it to, like, not think of your ex. And if you can do something new and adventurous or travel, like, it really does help. Yeah, I wasn't dating at that point either. I think the first time I went on a date with somebody after my breakup last year was around maybe just after that trip I went on my first day. And that was way too soon for me because obviously it was just comparing everything to my ex in my head. And I was, these guys would be really nice. but because when you first start dating somebody,

you don't have any of that history or that familiarity, so you're not close. So then I just think if you date too soon after, then you're setting yourself up for failure because you just end up missing your ex, which is what happened to me. Like I went on a few dates with some different people actually because the first date I went on,

I didn't vibe with him at all. And then I ended up missing my ex so much. I remember getting back from the date, and it was like raining and it was very dramatic. and I remember just looking at my exes like Instagram and being like, oh, everybody's weird and I hate all men. And then the day after that, I went on a date with a really nice guy, but just not my vibe. And then I also ended up missing my ex so much too because I was like, this guy's such a nice guy, but he's just not like him. So that was really bad.

And then I waited like maybe a month before I went on a date with somebody else. and I actually quite liked this guy. We saw each other for a while, but I still just wasn't ready. Like, I could catch myself still, like, caring more about what my ex was doing. I know something that became very clear that I wasn't ready is when I was seeing that guy,

which is why I had to, like, put a stop to it, even though he was, like, a really nice guy and stuff, was I thought what would happen if I ran into my ex when I was with him, and how would that make me feel? So I stopped it with that one and I was like, okay, yeah, you just need to focus in on yourself. And also, like, I was still crying all the time about my ex. Like, even on the day to day, like, you know, because something would remind me or I'd feel

lonely or I'd see something on Instagram. So my piece of advice, if you're still having, like, episodes where you're crying about an ex or you're missing them so much or you can't stop talking about them in situations with people even if you think like it's fine because I know I don't know about boys but a lot of the time with girls like you actually bond over like breakups when you first are going through the breakup it's hard not to talk about it but if you're you know always talking about your ex and you're always making every story go back to circle back to your ex or your girls dinners are turning only into therapy sessions I think that's a very dangerous zone to be in because then you're

making your ex, your personality, and you do not want to do that. Although at the start, like, yes, it's healthy to be able to, like, vent to your friends and, like, tell them the story and it's kind of, like, good to, like, get it out. There has to become a point where you're just like, okay, no, I'm going to make new memories, and I'm going to talk about new things, and I'm going to try to put that in a box and not bring it up every single time that you're out with your girlfriends. Otherwise, you're still emotionally living in that relationship in your head even though it's over. Yeah, I didn't really date anybody after that for a long, long time. And only now I've kind of started to date people again because, or go on date, sorry. Before that,

I just wasn't ready. And I think that's a massive thing that you have to be honest with yourself about. And it doesn't matter if it takes a year, two years, six months, a month, when you're ready, you're ready. And if you're not, don't do it because it just ends up being so bad for yourself. And then, I don't know, I feel like it's a waste of time. Yeah, it's not fair for the other person, especially if you meet like an actually good person. Also because my breakup last year was just before summer, I kind of felt like a massive pressure to be over it before summer hit. So that way when summer comes around, you can feel like you can meet loads of people and you look and you feel and you're amazing, you know, you've had this massive glow up just before summer.

So most people are probably like thinking, yeah, having a breakup just before summer is great because you go on the breakup diet, you tune into yourself, you're trying to do all this development. But if you're someone like me and doesn't actually accept the breakup when it happens and it takes you like six months to even accept it, then it's a terrible time because you waste your summer, which is what I did. Like, I mean, it didn't waste it, but like, last summer I had no fun. Zero. Even though I was doing the most amazing things, spending it with, like, amazing girlfriends,

I just wasn't in the stage of having fun or really feeling like myself. Last year, I was just feeling so, so, like, insecure. And, like, I felt like I lost myself. Like, I remember being out with even friends and stuff, and I didn't feel like I could, properly speak like myself. I don't know. It was weird. I felt very like an out of body experience and I don't know if that's relatable to anybody else or maybe it was just like a stage for me but I just felt like I was in the room with people but not actually in the room kind of became a bit mute. I think that's just because obviously I was hurting so much and I was so

I had so many thoughts going on internally that like I was not like myself. So that was a crazy difference from now, like this year, I feel completely opposite and I probably feel like more like myself than I have for a very, very, very, very, very long time. Something that I don't think people talk enough about during a breakup is that sometimes you're not even really grieving the relationship. You're actually grieving the future that you've built in your head, the wedding you thought you were going to have, the children, what your life looked like, the trips you were going to do together, you're grieving, all these things that you would have thought. about all the plans that you would have made together.

In my case, we actually hadn't made any plans and maybe that was a, maybe that was something I should have picked up on sooner to know that we were going to break up. Last year, I felt like if I went on a night out or if I went out and nobody spoke to me, it just kind of made me feel even more lonely and made me feel even more like I'm not wanted. And that was like a massive thing in my breakup that I just felt really unwanted and not good enough and that is something that you shouldn't have because it's totally not true and it sucks so your brain makes you feel like that because of the rejection. I know it's really hard but if you're in that stage that is when you just have to really let yourself, okay feel those feelings but let them

go and try to rewire your brain into thinking complete opposite because you shouldn't let those thoughts even come into your mind because they're just not true and try to not take it so personally, even though I know that's extremely, extremely hard to do. Fast forwarding to this year and how I'm feeling and maybe some of the things that, like, I've done to actually let go and accept that breakup and be okay with being alone is I spent a lot of time with my friends. And although at the start, like, I would have spoken about the breakup quite a lot, I tried to speak about it with, about other things with them and just started doing more things that I really love doing. I really locked in on work this year. Like I, especially with the podcast,

I mean, like I really just threw myself into interviewing a lot of guests. I don't know. I just feel like that keeps me very busy. So I think if you're going through a breakup, you need to get really busy with like a hobby of your work, anything. Just throw yourself into that because you can just think about that and it distracts you. And also when you're really busy, like you then at the end of workday you probably just want to watch some TV and go to bed or have a shower or read a book or something you don't you don't have as much time to like ponder and analyze everything so that's like something that really helped me actually move on also going out and just having fun with my friends and not expecting to meet somebody or talk to anybody I just like went out and focused in on

having fun that's just a massive thing that really helped me through my breakup was like not focusing in on men at all, which is probably like different to what a lot of people do after a breakup. I was just so uninterested. And then also, what else did I do? I mean, the podcast has massively helped me because I'm interviewing so many guests all the time and their perspectives and their experiences really have been therapeutic for me, actually, and like maybe their tips and tricks of like how they've gotten over breakups. Another thing that helped me get through mine was exercise and that doesn't mean like you have to hit the gym every single day and all this but like going on mental health walks just getting out of the house to get myself to accept my breakup even though it was

like a year ago was I haven't been looking at my exas socials as much as much was a key word like obviously I still have some days where I'm like oh I want to check it out and like I'm a bit curious and I'll go and look but for the majority of the time like I'm not looking at his stuff and I'm doing definitely, one thing I'm definitely not doing is looking at who he's following or who's following him. And that's probably like the biggest thing that's helped me actually let go is doing that. And also I think something that's really helped me accept my breakup from last year, which sounds so stupid because it was literally a year ago or over a year ago now, is I'm okay with it not working out because if I actually look at us as two people,

we are very different and we want very different things. And so I'm trying to trust in the process that God is going to lead me to somebody that's more aligned. So hopefully that's the case. Otherwise I'm going to be like a crazy dog lady when I'm older and have just like loads of pets or something. And then I might have a different thought. But for now, that's where my mind is at. another thing like last year that I thought is interesting to this year is when I was going on dates with people, I would put a lot more pressure on myself. Like if it didn't work out or I didn't like

them or if they didn't like me, like I would really take it personally. Whereas like this year, if I'm not viving on a date, I'm like, okay, like fine, we'll have a nice day and then that will be it and it doesn't matter. It's not because like I'm so unlovable or they don't like me or they're, you know, it's all on me. So that's a massive shift in my vibes this year too. If you're going through a breakup this year, like just before summer or in summer, I really want to urge you not to feel the pressure to like have it all figured out by summer or so that you still can have this hot girl summer because summer comes around every single year. So like you can have a hot girl summer the year after.

don't feel like you have to have this massive glow up, have the best revenge body to be looking and feeling your best and try not to get down if you see couples out in summer because the problem with having a breakup just before summer is that you tend to see a lot of couples about because obviously they're doing all these cutesy things in the nice weather. So it can make you feel a little bit lonely. But honestly summer is a great time to be single too.

Like you can meet people, people are doing more social things, everyone just seems happier. So if you are single and you're ready to mingle, then summer is a great time for you. To end off this episode, some things I wish I knew a year ago are just because they left doesn't make you unlovable. Some days you're going to be absolutely fine and other days you're going to cry when you walk into your local Sainsbury and that's okay. and to stop checking their social media earlier because it keeps you in that loop and literally nothing good comes from looking at their social media

because you're going to feel crappy because you're going to find something. And my last one is you don't need to win the breakup. You don't need to feel like you need to win the breakup or be the best everything after so that you've seen better than your ex. Like if you're a good person, if you were authentic in your relationship, if you really try to make it work or you, I don't know, you're just a good, genuine person. I think it's very hard not to miss that. So just remember that and stay strong.

And if you're going through a breakup right now, it will get better, I promise, even if it feels like it won't.