The Break-Up Diet - I Started a Breakup Podcast… Then Had My Heart Broken

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

Two years ago, I started a podcast about breakups… before I’d ever actually had my heart properly broken. 😭Well, a LOT has happened since then.For the 2-year anniversary of The Break-Up Diet, I’m taking it back to where it all started — why I created the podcast, where the name actually came from, and how going through my own heartbreak completely changed the way I think about breakups, dating and all the advice I used to give so confidently. Pasted textI’m getting VERY honest about my own breakups and situationships, going back to an ex when I probably shouldn’t have, the things I’d NEVER do again, my current dating red flags (and yes, some of my own 🚩), and why giving your friends breakup advice is sooo much easier than actually taking it yourself.We also talk about rebuilding your confidence after heartbreak, learning to trust yourself again, knowing when you’re actually ready to date, and why sometimes you just have to let yourself completely crash out before you can finally move on. ❤️‍🩹If you’re going through a breakup, questioning your dating life, or just trying to figure yourself out as you go… this one feels like a proper girls’ catch-up.And to everyone who has listened, shared an episode, sent me a DM or been here at any point over the last two years — THANK YOU. 🤍Here’s to another year of breakups, glow-ups and figuring it all out together. 🥂 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today is an episode for anybody who might not know me and a little milestone episode really because it's our two year anniversary. So two years of the breakup diet and I couldn't be more proud of myself for sticking it out. And also thank you to everyone who has listened up to now or if you're a new listener because I know I do have quite a few listeners that have only joined in the last few months. So I thought today I was going to introduce myself again and just tell you. a bit of why I started the breakup diet, how I got to where I am today, what I've learned, maybe some stuff about me, like my red flags. Also, how I actually coat with breakups and what I

do, because what I do and what I say you should do is kind of different. Welcome to another episode of the breakup diet. Buckle up, bitches. This is going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. So I'm 26. I've changed industry so many times. So I feel like, like I've worked lots of different jobs in internships or tried lots of different things. I've also done quite a lot of education in several different industries. I'm just basically a girl who doesn't know what the hell they're doing with their life and trying to figure it out along the way. So I've had quite a lot of DMs recently asking,

why did I start the breakup diet and why is it called the breakup diet? I wanted to create a community that basically makes you feel less alone. because things like heartbreak and change and transformation can all be super lonely and you can feel quite isolated, especially when you're in the mix of it all. So I wanted to create a community and I wanted people to relate to certain things that I might be going through slash others might be going through in a tough time so that you don't feel so isolated and that you don't feel like it's only happening to you or you're the only one that feels a certain way. So that's one reason I wanted to create it. A few years ago, more than two years ago, I wanted to start one

and I didn't know what started on. So I was like, okay, well, what do I always give my friend's advice on? Their relationships. And a lot of the time, especially in your early 20s, I feel like there's quite a lot of breakups that happen and changes. So that's why I decided to go down that route. At the time, I hadn't had a first love breakup or a serious relationship breakup. I had had I had breakups with my friends. I'd had work breakups. I'd had situationhip breakups. And also I was always giving advice on my friend's actual proper relationship breakups.

And what I have learned since starting and to now is that the advice you give to somebody else is so different to the advice when you actually have to take it yourself. Because I think two years ago, I was so much. more harsh on the advice I would give to my friends, especially around breaking up with their partners or breaking up with someone or, you know, just moving on. Whereas now, because I have gone through a relationship breakup, I feel like my advice is a little less harsh. It is so hard to actually take it and walk away and listen to somebody else giving you advice when you're not ready to hear it. And actually, I'd say it's kind of impossible.

You kind of just have to be like when you're ready to actually hear someone's advice and when you're ready to move on, that's when you move on. The reason I named it, the breakup diet, is not because it's trying to be like all about food and not eating because often when you go through a breakup, you don't want to eat anything and you're not interested. So yes, the idea originally came from that because when I went through my first semi-breakup, I just wasn't hungry because I was obviously so upset because that one I was blindsided. It was kind of like a shock and I just like went, my appetite just totally went.

And I kind of found it like funny to be like, oh, I'm on the breakup diet, you know, and then the name kind of stuck. But actually when I'm looking at the name, the breakup diet, it's not about limiting yourself or cutting out food. It's more about how you get to being your best. self and feeling your best. So the diet can be like things like self-respect and boundaries and that sort of stuff like putting in these tools that then help you get to your higher self and like your most glow-up era that you can have or just reinvent yourself or whatever. Like I'm picturing it like a

phoenix rising from the ashes. That's what I went with with the name not to be like toxic with food and stuff like that. That's definitely not what this podcast is about. It's about glowing from the inside out. But yeah, talking about my own breakups, so as I said, I've had one serious, serious, well, not serious, serious, I've had my first love breakup.

Then I've also had some situation ship breakups and I've also had friendship breakups and work breakups. I am tempted to say that my personal worst breakup was or is, my first breakup that I've had with my serious relationship, just because it took me a long time to get over it, and I felt like I was so attached to that person, even though I knew the relationship wasn't right. But also saying that, looking back, before I had that breakup, and my situation ship breakups, I also was so confused after those for so long, and I'm tempted to say even years, and I didn't understand them at all. And they made me feel like I wasn't good enough to date,

or that there was something wrong with me more than my last breakup. Situationhip breakups are kind of hard because it depends on what you count as a situation ship, but what I'm counting is if you felt like had a thing with somebody for a few months, it could even be a month, you know, and you're texting quite a lot and you meet up and you're just like in a bit of a weird loop where you don't know where you stand or you like have a thing whenever you see each other but not when you don't see each other. Like I've had maybe two of them that I'll actually count. And one of them actually followed after my breakup.

And I think that's a dangerous territory to be in because the situation ship breakups, if you haven't processed your breakup properly, you can just feel so hurt after them, even if it wasn't that deep. Like them not texting you back, you straight away compare it to how your ex treated you. So that is a tip that I would give somebody. if you are going through a breakup, try not to get into a situation ship. And I get that it's easier to say that than actually it's quite easy because there are quite a lot of situationships that happen, especially in London.

But if you can avoid a situation ship, definitely do. But also, if you don't, you can't take situations that deep. Like if somebody's not ready for a relationship or if somebody is just meant to be in your life for a season or a reason, that's okay. Just got to let them come in and then poof. disappear. Like if I think about this time last year, did I have a situation ship this time last year? Yeah, I did. And don't even think about them now. Not one part of me thinks about them now. Sometimes it works out for the best and sometimes if you can separate yourself, like I wasn't affected by that situation ship or that breakup because I was still super in love with my ex when I was having a situation ship. If you can do that, then it's okay. But otherwise, don't let a situation ship make you feel like shit because they're not worth it. All types of change and all breakups are difficult and they can all hit you so differently and some of them you can't explain why it hurts more than the other.

Like a friendship breakup can also be so hurtful because especially if they're like a best friend, you really spend so much time with that person. You tell them everything. You might even tell them more than what you would tell a relationship, especially in like younger years. And then when you have that breakup, you kind of feel like no one talks about it as much. and it's not as, like, you kind of don't feel like you can have as much of a grieving period or be as sad as if you had a relationship from like a partner breakup. So they're all just mind fields and they're all confusing and they all make you feel crappy. But the universe does look out for you and I do believe, even though it's so hard when you're in the moment to believe this, that it's happening for a reason.

And it's meant to teach you a lesson or is meant to put you on a different. path and something great is going to happen from it. Like if I look at any of those breakups, maybe you form amazing friendships with somebody else out of it. Or maybe your life was looking like it was going one way and then that breakup made you swivel and go another way. Even if I look at my ex, like if I was to stay with him and we were actually going to get into a serious, serious relationship, looking at it now because there's been quite a lot of time, would I have wanted a life that we would have had together? No, you know what I mean?

Like if I actually look at it now, I'm like, would I have been happy living the life that I probably would have had with that person? No. So I probably would have had a breakup anyway. It just was a matter of time is where I'm getting at. So the universe definitely does look out for you. And there are some tips to help you get through breakups. And during this podcast, I hope that I give you some.

I also have specialists on the podcast the whole time or people that have done so much research into their subtopics or their industry. So it's not just me talking bullshit all the time and it's not just my opinions. I also like to have a lot of different guests on because their perspectives on things are so enlightening. And also, if I'm being completely honest, it kind of does help me just navigate my own things too. I cannot tell you how useful. I mean, it was definitely hurtful at times, but when I was going through my first breakup, having lots of different guests on the podcast and just having them

listen to maybe some of my thoughts or my takes on things or just even verbal diarrhea at them, my thoughts and like seeing if they, like, were thinking I was crazy or not, helped me navigate my own breakup and also accept it and realize that I wasn't crazy. You know, you do, it does make you feel like you're crazy when you're going through a breakup sometimes because you can, you're acting out of so many emotions and you come, it comes in so many waves and you're like one minute, you're like so angry in the next minute you're so sad and then you're like, oh, I want to make them regret it or you're jealous or you're, I don't know, you're just upset or then you're lonely. Like there's so many waves of emotions that come in.

and out, especially when you're in the height of the breakup. And that time frame is so different for every single person, but also every single breakup that you have. The way that I personally handle breakups, which is by no means the correct way to handle breakups, is I let myself crash out like fully. And I would not be like trying to limit yourself on that. If you want to crash out, if you want to message them, just do it. Do it. And maybe they're, I mean, not maybe, they're probably going to give you the response that you don't want to hear or they might not respond at all. But all those things that happen after you do your crash out, for example, say you message your ex wanting to meet up with them and they don't want to meet up with you,

you know, to have a closure conversation. Even though you've messaged them saying you want that and then they don't give it to you, that knock back, that like, that like, oh, how could they not even give it to you, that will then just have a knock-on effect and make you feel like, okay, they can't even give that to me. It nudges you again, you know? And maybe you need to get back with your ex how many times and get hurt how many times

until you finally make the decision yourself that you don't want that for yourself anymore. I mean, in my case, I didn't have a choice, but it did help going back a few times. So what I'm trying to get at is there's no correct way of how to handle a breakup. You've got to just find your own path. And I do think as you do these mistakes, as you have more and more breakups, you then learn different things that you take into your next one. So for example, I don't want to say I will never,

but I don't think I will go back to someone after we've broken up. Like if somebody has been as stern as my ex-wells with me, being like basically saying he doesn't see a future with me, I don't think I will let somebody tell me that twice or three times now in my next relationship because I did that in my last one and it didn't serve me and I just got hurt three times more than I should have. I've also from starting this podcast from having more breakups with like everything. I have learned that as I said at the beginning, advice is so different when you're the one actually taking it. it's very easy to look in on someone's situation and say certain things and give your opinion or be like, yeah, I think you should do this or just do that.

But when you're the actual person with the emotional tie to the other person or the life that it's going to implicate, it is so much harder and so much more complex. There's so many layers to it. So you have to give, if you're giving advice, you have to give grace to others. and also grace yourself, and you've got to make the decision by yourself at the end of the day. If you are not ready to move on, you don't have to be ready to move on. You can do your wallowing, you can do your stalking, you can do any of that. Until you make the conscious decision, no, I want better, or no, I don't deserve this,

or no, I need to get a grip, then you do that. But until you're ready, don't force yourself to be ready. And that goes with dating as well. If you're not ready to date somebody after you and your ex have ended, don't force yourself to do it. That's a big piece of advice that I've learned and like lived through myself. I've also learned that so many people feel the exact same way. If you think you're the most crazy person or you've done the most crazy things, you're not.

There's been so many more people that have come on and shared maybe crazy stories about what their ex has done or what they've done after to discover. things about their ex or whatever and listen no judgment over here queen of doing that sort of stuff but you're never as crazy as you think you are like i i don't think over the last like two years from having the breakup diet from also just living through my own like serious breakup is that you are allowed and you will feel more than one thing towards someone like if i look at myself before i had my breakup. I wasn't happy, but then also I did have parts of me that loved my relationship, but then on the flip side, like, there are a lot of parts that I also hated about it and didn't like and didn't feel

safe or secure or settled in, you know, you are allowed to feel more than one thing towards a person. And that goes in even after when you have the breakup and you separate from your ex, you will feel all of these emotions, probably all at once, all at like very similar times. Like you might wake up in the morning and you are so upset and you feel so lonely. And then later on in the day you're angry and you're resentful. And then later on in the day you're happy that you're single and you're like loving your life and you're like, okay, like this is for the best. I'm going to do so much better.

And then like at nighttime again, you might be sad and hurt. you are allowed to feel all these different things and you probably are. Another thing that this has taught me is that life, yes, may feel serious and it gets hard and you can have moments where you are, you feel like you're at rock bottom. But we all need to have more fun. We all need to enjoy the ride for its highs and for its lows. Because when you are in a low, honestly, what follows? from it because like you can't get much lower is normally like the best times the most fun that

you'll have maybe you're going to meet the most amazing people along the way like even though last year for me like this exact time last year I was still super sad and hurt and I was still having all these mixed emotions about my ex I had so much fun before my breakup I didn't travel as much I didn't like see my friends this much. I kind of felt like I muted my personality quite a lot. And that's not to say that my ex was doing that. It's just how I felt. But, okay, last summer I didn't have that much fun because I was still super sad.

But after summer, come October until December, I was seeing my friends more. I was going out more. I was saying yes to dinners. I was saying yes to trips. I was traveling. I had the travel bug. and that's continued on to this year, which has actually brought so much love and light and fun and just happiness to my life that I've been missing the last two years, which I know now

from my breakup that that's something really important to me. Yeah, so you just got to hang in there and trust the process and just be like, okay, hold the universe's hand and let it guide you, which way it's going to guide you. That's what I'm telling myself anyway, because I'm trying to live in the moment and not think about the future, the future of the future all the time, because I don't think that is healthy. I feel like you should have goals and aspirations and it's good to work towards something, but I think you also have to let go of the reins a bit and enjoy your life too, because the ride is super fun. Here are some of my red flags in relationships or right now because I'm dating, like when I'm dating somebody, if I see these, I'm like all red flag,

is if they're not a gentleman, like I'm sorry, but the small things do matter. I think, like, boys should know that you need to be pulling out my chair, you need to be getting out the car door and opening my door if we're in the same car, you need to be paying the bill. Sorry, like, it just needs to happen. Like, those things, they might seem small at the beginning, especially if it's not like an expensive bill. I'm not talking about you have to, like, shed loads of money. money or whatever but i'm saying like if you're going out for a coffee date pay for the bloody

coffee date otherwise you won't see me again which maybe is maybe is why they do it but those are some of my red my red flags also the obvious ones of like if they're rude to wait waiters or rude in general if they're derogatory towards women if you're rude and nasty not yet also niche things like, well, not that niche. I feel like lots of girls also have this red flag. If your trousers are too tight, if your Instagram, if you have too many photos of yourself, that is like, maybe it's not a red flag, but it's an ick. And another red flag that I had this recently is if they tell you that they don't have Instagram, but then you find out that they do have Instagram, I'm like, that's a massive red flag because you're obviously hiding a relationship or you're obviously

like what are you doing on that Instagram that you don't want me to see or why are you saying you don't have an Instagram? Like it's weird. Another red flag that I was thinking about the other day is if their communication changes or their style sort of texting you. Like they, even if they can't text you in the minute, they say like, hey, I'm just busy at work, I'll talk to you later or something. As long as that doesn't change, it's fine. But if they suddenly are talking to you for a solid week and then they go offline for like two days, no explanation and can't tell you anything or like totally change their mannerisms towards you even over text that's a red flag to me and then a big one that i've actually been hearing about because i have had a few people

write in is if they talk about their ex a lot on a date they're not over their ex because i was guilty of that and i definitely wasn't over my ex when i was doing that you know if they just find little ways to bring them up, but like quite a, quite a lot of little ways within the conversation. Obviously, if you get point blank asked, then that's different. Like, to my defense, when I was going on dates, like freshly after my breakup, because of the breakup diet and because of the name, they straight away asked me. And now to tie myself into it, what are some of my own personal red flags? Maybe that I'm quite hard to actually get to know properly. like my guard is quite high up, especially with dating.

Like I'm an open book with friends, with people that are just my friends, but when you're actually dating me, I'm quite, my walls are quite high. And it takes a lot for me to let them go. So that's one of my red flags is that I don't think you properly know me for a while because it takes me a while to trust. And I feel like I sometimes self-savitage relationships. So that's another red flag. I probably have way more red flags, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

What are your guys as red flags? Like when you're dating, do you have any? Let me know if you do. Maybe write them in the comments or send me a DM because I love to hear them. Although breakups can ruin your confidence and they can really knock you down a few pegs, once you do the things that slowly help you rebuild that confidence and that self-trust, you become way more confident and way more yourself than ever before. So that is something to look forward to,

especially if you're going through a tough time right now. After you've had your crashes out, after you've let yourself be sad, and I mean really let yourself be sad. Like, you need to cry in the shower, you need to cry in your bed. Like, I remember I was crying in my bed, and this was months after my breakup.

My mom, like, came and crawled into my bed and gave me a hug in the middle of the night because she just, like, heard me crying from upstairs. You've got to let yourself do that. You've got to feel your emotions because I generally do believe once you feel, you have to feel to hear, heel. And then after you've let yourself, you know, had these crash out, you don't just want to

be consistently sad. You got to get yourself together. I don't mean mentally together. You don't have to be fully ready to go. But I would put on makeup, even if it's not a lot of makeup, like maybe one of these girlies that doesn't wear a lot of makeup, can't relate. But if that is you, then you put on your makeup, however little or however much you want, you do your hair, you put a nice outfit on that you feel confident in and you go out and you have some drinks with a friend, you go for dinner, you meet up with somebody outside of your home space and you get yourself out there and just have a nice time, even if you feel like you have to fake it till you make it, because at one point, you will just have fun. And it might not be the first time you do it, the second time you do it,

third time you do it, fourth time you do it. But I do think to help you get yourself through a breakup, You have to also rewire your brain, and by looking good, I sometimes feel like it makes you feel good. Whenever I feel ugly, I'll go thin out my eyebrows, or I'll go do something like that, because even if it doesn't make that much of a difference externally, I feel like it does internally. So yeah, let's have an amazing another year,

and thank you so much for listening.