The Break-Up Diet - It’s the End of an Era… Ilma’s Leaving the Pod

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

It’s officially the end of an era 😭In this episode, we’re closing out the year with zero holding back. We reflect on a year that felt like a collective purge — first breakups, divorces, career shifts, identity crises, and why it feels like everyone has been going through it. And yes… Ilma is leaving the pod ✈️🥺We talk about:Going through every type of breakup in one yearWhy 25 is the age where relationships suddenly feel seriousMaking up for lost pandemic years (hello 4am nights)Living in the present instead of falling in love with potentialNo contact, no revenge & choosing yourselfTherapy as a non-negotiable for healingQuitting jobs, building foundations & financial independenceWhy being alone is scary — but being with the wrong person is scarierStopping caring what people think (because they really don’t)This episode is raw, reflective, empowering, and marks a huge transition for The Break-Up Diet as we head into a new chapter.If you’re ending the year single, healing, questioning everything, or stepping into your main character energy — this one’s for you 🤍 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

let's switch it up we've been holding back way too much welcome to the breakup diet hey guys welcome back to another episode of the breakup die this is yes and ills wow the year has ended WTF has gone on i know it's gone so fast this year i think like crazy if you're actually thinking about it I feel like the first part of the year was kind of slow. It was like, yeah, and then it just went, bang. I think from March, if I'm honest, March to now, don't know what's happened. Don't know what's happened, but I feel like everything that could have happened has happened. And I'm just like, oh my God, let's like, let's chill for a sec.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I've been chilling now over the last few weeks and I'm like ready to go back into overdid. I'm ready for the new year. Oh my God, that is exciting. So this year, want to like some things you've learnt. I've learnt so much this year. You've said like your first breakup this year. Yeah, I've been into my first break-up.

I feel like I had, like, lots of dramas in my life. Like my personal life, lots of different dramas. So to deal with those, I've had to deal with those. And yeah, stronger for it, but there's lots of different breakups I've had this year. I've had every single breakup you can possibly have this year. I'm ready to have no problem. breakups next year. I just talk about them. That's right. That's what

you're meant to do. This is what it's for. Honestly, I'll just talk about other people's breakups and give advice. I don't want any more. I've had it all in one year, all intense. Leave me alone. I feel like this year for a lot of people has been like a big purge

where like everyone's gone through like seismic shifts this year. But it's been like insane. Like everyone around me, people who are in relationships. Yeah. And talking long time of relationships, I'll break them up. Yeah, I've heard that too, actually, like a lot of people. For me, I think it's the age I'm at, because I'm 25, so it's kind of getting, like,

25 when it starts to be like, oh, this might not just be a boyfriend for two years. This might actually be, like, a boyfriend for a longer, you know? So I think people are starting to actually think about that stuff a bit more. Also, with, like, jobs, they're like, no, now it's time to start to lock in. Yeah, like, be set with that. my career. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you boys happen, like, organically. No, I mean, like, with that, that mindset kind of starts to happen at 27, 28. Yeah, and I was just kicks in when we're 25. Like, 25 was a big shift for me. That was when the pandemic happened. Oh my God, but it's so bad.

I was like, my life actually, like, flipped outside down. That's actually so crazy that that was then. For me, I was like 21 or 20, which is also the shitterty is to have it, because it's like the prime time out figure ratchet home of your youth. And I feel like that's why a lot of people have gone on the, like, off the rails this year. Don't you reckon? People have partied harder, loved harder, drinking harder. Yeah, I keep saying that when I was going out like a few months ago and a month ago, I felt like I was like 18 again. I was like, why am I out till 4 a year? Well, making up for lost time. That's what this year's also kind of taught us. Yeah, I think big lesson I've learned this year is I'm going to live in the present. I'm not going to think about

the future or the, which I know is so like, I don't know, it feels so counter from what I normally would do. Like, it feels like the opposite. But you cannot control the future, really, and you can't fall in love with the potential, even with your life. So I think, yes, you have to have goals and you have to work towards something because I think that's healthy. But you have to enjoy the moment. I'm enjoying my moments all the time. Yeah. That's, that's the way to go. And I feel like, You should just always have stuff. Yeah, you just have to be in the present. I know everyone thinks, like, oh, you should be like,

is this my husband or is he going to be this? No. Just be present. Enjoy what it is for what it is. Yeah, like, if you're there and you're thinking, like I'm having a really nice time with this person, we get on really well, don't try to think of all the other things because at one point it will come up and it will change if it was meant to.

Otherwise, it won't. Yeah. Because also, people do change. Like, I don't think. Like, I do think people change. Yeah, oh my God, people grow in their own different directions. It's inevitable. Yeah, you're so different from when I first met you.

You're same with me. Yeah. You know what I mean, really? You're so different. But do you think that's, do you think that's just because you met me, and that was, like, the facade I obviously give off when you first meet me? Because I always think about that. Like, do you think I actually changed, or it's just because that's what it's like

when you first meet someone? You know what I mean? Like, sometimes. But then, like, we have gone through really crazy. life experience is this last year. Yeah, true. So, like, I'm definitely seeing, like, so much growth in you, and you're obviously, like, in your 20s. Like, you are

going to grow, like, massively every year. Yeah. But still, I always think about that. Like, your first impressions when you meet someone, because you know when you meet someone, I'm going to give you an example. Yeah, yeah. So, I meet somebody, like, I'm talking about a girl, right? In the gym. I used to kind of, like, see

her in the gym and be like, she seems like a bitch. I've got to be honest. Like, I was like, I don't, I don't. don't know why, she seems kind of scary. Like, she might be lovely, never spoken to her word to her in my life at this point, nothing. Anyway, my perception without knowing her would be like,

oh, she's a bit, like, scary, you know, I'm a bit intimidated, you know? One time I spoke to her, she's the nicest person ever in that we chat all the time. She's so sweet, and my first impression without meeting her was completely different. And I know for a fact that I

often get, I have a resting bitch face, but if you talk to me, I'm quite nice. Yep, that's what I'm there. Three things that were grateful for this year. You can go best. Oh my gosh, okay. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for all my friends around me.

I feel like I've got the best, like, network of people. I'm grateful for saying just, like, no to things. Like, quitting my job. That was, like, honestly, probably, like, the most biggest thing of that I'm proud of this year. I don't think you would have done that unless you, like, had this going on to, I need to push you there. I was planning to quit this year anyway,

just because I had, like, the 30s, like, not 30s crisis, but, like, the 30s reflection. And I'm like, I've spent my 20s doing things for, like, other people, like, did the degree for my family, like, got married because that's what society wants me to do. 30s, I'm like, I'm just going to do what I want to do. And what I want to do is just to make people love. and, like, do modeling, do socials, like, talk.

Yeah. And, yeah. I only said that because I feel like it definitely helped having something that was consistent going on to, like, be like, okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh my God, there was so many consistencies. Yeah, it's not just this, I mean, in general. Yeah, yeah. I definitely knew you were having those discussions, but it was, like, more that,

I think it would have been more scary if you didn't have something as consistent as well. Yeah, you're right. Not not saying it was a whole thing, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Like, just like a lot of things that just push me to make this decision. I'm so glad I did. Especially also because with yours, it was like, going from a job like that where it's so intense, in finance, like, 9 to 5,

then being completely thrown into being a creator type of thing would have been really scary. Yeah, yeah. I think, like... Because if you look at it, like, it's so flexible, and then having that, you would have had a massive jump if you had nothing. I'm not even talking just about this,

but, like, if you didn't have certain things, things that were kind of already in place. That's why I feel like before you quit, you kind of had... Yeah, definitely had like a foundation built and that's what last year was for me. I think I said that in last year's episode, like a year and episode where I'm like, I think I've built like a really strong foundation year. And now it's like, life is so different. Like I've gone from like being really regimented to now where I'm like, no two days are the same. Yeah. Like my week, I literally like, I don't know what next week or where next week is going to take me. It's kind of fun.

It's really fun and I love it and I feel like so happy that I've made that decision. I like a mixture. Yeah. I like a bit of consistency because I like there's so things I like to do that I know that I like to do

but then I also don't like it too much. I'm like a hybrid worker. I think we all are after the pandemic. We just want a mix of everything. Yeah, I don't think I could be able to do a job now but is in office every single day. No. Even if it was like three days, I think I could do it.

but not every single day. Even that would be a push for me, considering, like... Oh, three days was a push. Like, if I still was working in the office two days a week, I would have still stayed at the office. The three day killed me. Yeah. Yeah.

They added the third day last year, and I was like, oh, like, I can't do this. Yeah, fair. Yeah. What are you grateful for? Three things. Well, besides the obvious things of, like, family, health, support, those are, like,

obviously the big ones that I would have to say. Yeah. I definitely am, I'm happy with my support I'm super, super close, I'm like I'm in my family now which is really nice. I mean, I've always been close but like, especially my mum, like I could tell her anything, which I love. You know when you get to a certain age and you're, I could literally tell my mom anything.

I could tell her about sex, which I could tell her about literally anything if I had a boss being a dicket, I could tell her if my friends are being bad, anything, you know? Which I really like, which is probably, she's like my best friend which I'm happy for but she's always been my best friend but it's different now I think because I'm older

you're a lady now yeah and yeah it's kind of funny when you get older you like look at your parents you're like oh it's your first time doing everything too yeah you like get them so much more yeah you know they don't know what they're doing either and when you're younger you look at them thinking that they must know everything and they do know a lot more than you

but it's still like they don't know all the answers I think that's kind of key when you get out of it so I'm grateful for my mum. What else am I grateful for? Grateful for doing this and sticking with it even though it's hard, like, because it is really hard and being consistent and releasing every single week. Because all of that, like,

we haven't stopped. That's a lot. You know, when you actually think about it, like most people take breaks and stuff like this, even though we've fallen on holidays, it's still a lot to release an episode every single week for an entire year. Massively grateful for

that achievement. And also, for people listening because finally, like, we've started to get consistent listeners all the time. So that's really exciting. So I'm very grateful for that. I'm grateful for my life in general because I've been saying a lot of yeses to the things. I've been having a lot of fun. That's so good. I'm so proud of you. This year has been, like, you've really blossomed into this, like, fierce, independent woman, like, everything that you do, it goes unnoticed. No. Like, your work ethic, everything. Like, everyone sees that you're just, like, you're just, like, like this like powerhouse. No, no, no. I don't know if that's true yet. I feel like this is

a building year still. You know what you said about your... Last year with our foundation year? I feel like I'm still in a foundation year. Yeah. But I'm ready to be out of the foundation. It's like, give me the house or whatever it is. You know what I mean? Like... The skyscraper actually, because that's what you're going to get. Yeah. Yeah. The last maybe six months. No, not six months because I was sad. but the last like three months I've had a lot of fun like I've been saying yes to a lot of things

like I recently, well not recently now but a few months ago I said went to New York with my girlfriends that was the first trip I've had since my breakup that I've actually, not my first trip since my breakup but my first trip since my breakup that I've actually had a lot of fun and that's not because before I wasn't doing amazing things

and going to the most amazing places my friends but I still wasn't having fun because I didn't feel myself even though it was months after, or, you know what I mean? Like, you know, when I went to sent to pay with all the girls? Yeah. Beautiful place. It was amazing holiday.

And it's amazing people. But I still wasn't having fun because it was like, I was hurting. There was always something in, like, the back of your mind. And that's what breakups do to you, unfortunately. Yeah. A couple of months. Even, like, I went to the Monaco Girl Brea and stuff doing. Like, that's an amazing experience.

Yes, I had fun moments there. Don't get me wrong. But I still wouldn't say that I had fun. Whereas, like, this trip that I recently went on was, well, not that recent, but recently it, it went on, was really fun because I just felt happy within myself. So that way anything we were doing was fun because I wasn't had the lingering. So, yes. You've been set free, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Strong on the diet, babe. Yeah. Yeah. So what are three things you want to cheap X deal? I want this to grow. I want to get, so you're podcast related.

I want this to grow. I want to get really cool. guest on. I want to hear more listener stories. That's all to do with podcast things. I also want the podcast to be very, more of a lifestyle. So that's the goal of mine. The Zai is a lifestyle, baby. Yeah, I don't want it to just be like a podcast that people listen to once a week. I want to make it somehow incorporate into life somehow. Not sure exactly how yet, but I have a few ideas. So, I'm putting it out there. Yeah, I want to make that grow up, grow.

Next year, I also want to just be really, really, really happy with myself. Like, every year I feel like I get more confident and I get more sure of myself. And whether that's age, just an age thing, I don't know. But I want to, I feel like I've got to a point where I'm like that with myself and I'm sure of myself. But not 100%, you know, so I want to just keep going upwards, not downwards with that. You always go upwards, maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

even if you get sometimes, like, a shit. I want to say yes to more things next year as well. I want to travel, see the world, have fun. What about you? Well, this new year, there's a lot of changes. I have something to announce to everyone. It's not a baby. I am leaving the pod.

This is my last episode. I will be relocating to Australia for a bit, so, yeah. How long are you going to go for? I'm going to go for a while. go for three months. So, it's you now. I'm so excited. Like, the breakup diet has been, and always was Yaz's idea from the start. This has been her baby. The fact that, like, she even let me to, like, have a little piece off, but I feel so grateful. You have to come back and do some guest episodes. I'll come back. I'll come back. Hopefully with some more interesting stories. I feel

like I've been so single and not in the place to give relationship advice, because I'm not in any. No, but I think that's important too. Like, it's not all about the diet, there's lots of different phases. You know what it means? Like, as we know from a breakup, there's so many different phases, and you can jump between the phases and go back in between every single thing. So you're just in your not interested in men phase.

Yeah, I hope in my time that I've been. in here you guys have learned some interesting fun ways to shift your perspective. So one thing I've like kind of preached about a lot here is to base your identity around yourself and not men. So do the things that you would do for men, but to yourself. Give yourself all the energy that you deserve, the love that you deserve because at the end of the day, like, you really only have yourself. If you can build a home within you, you can find a home within anyone else. True. So at the end of the day,

you've got to count on yourself. Yeah, exactly. If you can't align yourself. Also, it's more fun if you are super sure of yourself and you have that within you, you actually can love somebody better too. I agree. Yeah, it's such a better headspace to be in a relationship.

Yeah, because if you go into a relationship when you're kind of just looking for a bit of reassurance or looking, you know, to fill a void because you don't want to be alone. I don't think those relationships, I mean, sometimes they do, but really turn out the best because you're, yeah,

you're shifting all your energy into somebody else and then they also don't get the best person. Yeah, because I think if you're seeking from validation elsewhere, you're just not in the headspace to be in a relationship, find that validation within yourself,

give yourself that, and then you're going to be in the best place to find relationship, the best place for your career, for your friends, and that's what everyone, that's what you deserve. Not, fuck everyone, you deserve. It's just hard.

It is just hard because it's scary being alone. Like, that's the reality of it. I get, everyone gets that it's, you should find a home within yourself, but otherwise everyone would probably be single. Like in the entire planet, most people would be because so many people go into relationships not turning up as that person.

But it is scary being alone, but it's more scary being with the wrong person. That's right. That was the point I was trying to get that. No. Another thing, I hope you've learnt from me. No contact, no revenge. We are not basing our identity with our exes after the breakup.

That is so embarrassing. That energy that you're basically giving to your ex is the energy you should be giving to yourself. I think that is the best healthy way to do it. But I don't always follow my advice I give to be there. Like, yes, ideally, if I was Yaz, chat, GVT or whatever, they call her off the Love Island, you know that girl? Anyway, if I was like her and

was AI, then I would be like, yes, do that. But Illms, GPT is telling you no contact, no revenge, because that is the best way to grow. Exactly. That's what 30 is. It comes into 30. Number three, stop caring about what other people think.

They don't own your life. They're not the drivers of your life. You've got the steering wheel. You control it. Feel empowered to do so it's your life. You're not a selfish or a bad person for doing your own thing, for doing what's right for you. People don't actually care what you do, really. Right. Like, that's something I have, going back to the first questions at this beginning of the year. Yeah. I used to care more about what people thought of me, and I think that's just because I wasn't

happy within myself, so then you think people care more about you than they actually do. What I've learned from this year is even if you get into some draw along, even if you, I don't know people are talking about you for a hot second because you did something embarrassing or you did something of it scandalous. They might talk about it for a hot second, but really, the people that are talking about it a lot too generally don't have much going on in their life because they have to bitch about you. So, like, get over yourself and also you're a fan. And then number two, like realistically, like, who's more embarrassing? The person that sat they got something about you all the time, not once, okay? Because most people like a little gossip,

like whatever but the ones if they're like you know keep bringing it up to different people and they're like getting off and bringing it up i'm like who's the embarrassing person the fact that you have to bring it up to all these different people and bitch about me and you're getting off on it your life obviously isn't that interesting or you have too much time on your hands that you care what i'm doing because i don't even know what you do at all you know yeah yeah and realistically like on the grand scheme of things, no one actually cares. Everyone else is battling their own things. So, you're good to just do your own thing. Like, the right people will be there for you, and I'm sure you do have the right people around you. And I also don't think if somebody's

making fun of you for something, for example, if someone was making fun of us because of this podcast and what we were saying. Get up. Get up. Get up and do this. Yeah. See how easy it is. Get up. Go on. And also, I don't think if they're the right person or is, If they're meant to be in your life, they care. Because, for example, with an ick, when you like somebody and they give you an ick, if you really like somebody, you don't care about the ick. But if you don't like them, you care about the ick. So if you have an ick from watching the podcast, for example, just go away.

And you don't need to be in the live. And, you know, so that's with, like, caring about things. You know, I don't care what somebody else thinks, really. They don't have to sit here and talk to me, and they're making the active choice to listen. Fun behavior, but just feel empowered to do what's right for you. We're all on our own separate paths, what other people want to do, the stuff that they want to say, it's just really none of our business and our interest even.

Like, I'm not really interested in anyone that I'm not in a competition with. Most people do have stuff to say, whether you're doing good or bad. So you may as well just do exactly what you want. Yeah, and the more, the normally, the better you do, the more they have to say as well. It's like, you see all these big people that have, like, loads of trolls, and that's because they're doing really well, too, a lot of the time. They were doing something right. Yeah.

So all publicity is good publicity. Amen. Comment on the pod, like the pod, share it with your friends if we say something scandalous. I would like you to direct, say it to everyone. Thank you. And then, number four, the fourth thing that I hope is. you guys have taken away from me. Therapy. Therapy is so freaking powerful in your healing growth journey. I definitely wouldn't be the person, the strong assertive woman that I am without two

years of intense therapy. Like the stuff that I've gone through, like a divorce, a breakup, going through losses, mourning people that are still alive, it's not normal for the brain. If you really think about it, your nervous system is like completely disintegrate. and that takes time to rebuild and to be to feel a bit normal and have more control in your life and I think mental health talking things out by a therapy especially someone that's qualified is such a powerful way to heal and I really am like the biggest advocate for it yeah it's true it's also so different having therapy to talking to your friends or talking to your family because they don't know, even if you work with a therapist for a long

time, they don't know you, they know you on a personal level, but it's like different from being like in your social group or being a parent because they're always going to be biased or have their own opinions because of, you know, different situations. So it's so different having somebody that is completely removed from that element of your life that you're talking to, because they'll give you clear advice. And just having like someone impartial. is so good for your growth and you get really great feedback on your behavior that's not clouded by who you were before or, you know? There's one thing though with therapy, which I actually haven't found, is you have to

really, really like your therapist and like, it has to click. It's like a full-on relationship. So it's like dating. Yeah, I feel like once you go through a few, then you find the correct one. And the file point that I think, well, I hope that you. learned from me is to be proactive, not reactive. I think with the relationships, and I guess in life in general, you can't really think that one thing is like your be all or your end all. And this is like an example I can provide is like my marriage. Yeah, he was wealthy and all that. I still

kept my job because you just never know. You always got to have like a somewhat of a loose action plan because you just don't know where life is going to take you. Yeah, you don't want to be controlled. I think that's the scariest thing. Like, I think the men, this is just a personal view, I think the men that want you to leave your job, if it's not coming, obviously, this is, I'm talking about a specific type of man that I've come across a few times. They're like, but heck I married them. Yeah, but obviously there are exceptions. But I think a man, if they're so persistent on you leaving your job, not wanting you to work,

not wanting you to do anything, so that they just want to control over you, like they want to be able to control what you're doing, what you're wearing, where you're going, how you act. So I don't think you can give somebody that amount of control, like always have a safe plan. Yes, definitely, a backup plan,

your own job, your own finances, you've got to have your own independence. Don't lose yourself to anything. Yeah. And if you are going to leave your job or do something like this, and it's the correct thing at the time you think, at least have like a safety net that you have savings there from before, that you know if worst case scenario you have something to like get you out

of a sticky situation. And then also make sure when you do leave your job and all this, you're doing it in a nice way and a correct way that it doesn't implicate you in the future. So like if you need another job or if you, they can like vet for you or give you a good recommendation or something. So that way, if you do let it go, you have, like, you still have something you can maybe get back into or have a good name for yourself out there.

Yeah, just like, maintain all your networks, maintain your independence, be kind, be respectful, don't let yourself get in a situation where it's scary. My final few words, I just want to say, all defeat is psychological, so are breakups. you control how you react you control how you steer the wheel you've got this on your own by yourself and that's it over to you yes i'm so excited for you yeah so keep listening if you want to hear me talk basically because it's going to just be me from now on with a lot of guests though

You know,