The Break-Up Diet - Made in Chelsea’s Julia Pollard on the Art of Moving On

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

What happens when heartbreak meets humor? Join us for a heartfelt and humorous chat with the ever-candid Julia Pollard, or Jules as we lovingly call her. Jules brings her sharp wit to the table as we navigate the stormy seas of breakups and dating mishaps. Prepare for laughter and a bit of introspection as Jules shares her tips for surviving post-breakup blues, including her amusing tales of drunk dialing exes out of culinary loneliness and the odd comfort she finds with ex-partners over fleeting situationships. You might just find a piece of your own story in hers, making this conversation both entertaining and cathartic.Ever been blindsided by betrayal? We dive headfirst into the messy reality of infidelity and the rocky road to rebuilding trust. Julia opens up about the painful saga of being cheated on multiple times, highlighting the conflicting dance between love and denial. With stories that might hit close to home, we confront the difficult truths and the importance of acknowledging betrayal when it signs its name all over your relationship. This discussion is a raw, real look at how past wounds can haunt new loves and the vital steps we must take to mend our hearts without dragging old ghosts into new romances.Finding happiness after heartbreak isn't just possible; it's transformative. Jules delves into her journey of self-care and personal growth, painting a vivid picture of healing through returning to her roots and embracing the glow-up. From facing life’s additional curveballs like housing hiccups and the loss of a pet, she emerges stronger and more confident, refusing to let past hurts dim her shine. Experience her inspiring story of finding new love and happiness, a testament to the power of resilience and self-discovery. If you're in need of a pick-me-up, this episode is your reminder that joy and strength await on the other side of heartbreak.Send us a textInstagram:@the_breakup_dietTikTok:@thebreakupdietEmail: [e-mail]

Hi, welcome Julia. Hey guys. Good to have you here. Welcome to The Breakup Diet. Guys, thank you for having me. So, who are you? Why are you on The Breakup Diet? So, my name is Julia Pollard, Jules, and I'm on The Breakup Diet because I have so many

stories and I just kind of hate men. Buckle up, bitches. This is going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. I think we should play like Never Have I Ever, but breakup edition. Love it. So to you, Julia, obviously.

They're all to you. They're all to you. You're on the hot seat. Guys, I love questions. I love it. Go. Okay. Never Have I Ever lied to my family and friends like after a breakup about my feelings of how I actually feel

yes I have all the time um yeah so I feel like do I have to give background stories you can do whatever you want whatever feels natural oh god I'm trying to think I've told so many porkies in the past though about like how I've felt after a relationship i mean i say that i've only had one relationship yeah i think i pretended like i don't care but i really have cared yeah it's like it's like that i feel like everyone does that though yeah it's like when you're speaking to someone i don't want to bore them with saying how much like how depressed i am you know i don't want to look like too much of a victim if you've been dumped by an ugly like a proper ugly man yeah that's the thing and also like in my case because my ex cheated on me so many times it's like it was almost like and I took him back so

it's almost like what do you expect then I ended up getting dumped and it's like I felt like I couldn't even protect like be sad to like my friends and family because they're like well what do you expect yeah that's the hardest though like when you feel like you can't be but you can't help that you feel sad that's the thing you're very experienced in the ugly man department like you can't even play smash or pass with them it's just like pass pass pass no I'm you know on one of the earlier episodes, Ilma was like, should we play smash or pass with your friends?

I'm like, no, Ilma. You'd freaking smash all of them. I know it. To be honest, to be honest. And I feel like they'd let me. Like the easy smash. Never have I ever drunk called my ex in the middle of the night.

So many times. We used to like make loads of yummy food together. So like. No. So you want to get cooking. Yeah, you want to get cooking. I want nice food. Yeah.

You know, but. That's a big excuse. Go to a restaurant. It's been a very long time since I did drunk call. Have you only drunk called a like proper ex or would you drunk call a situationship no you know what I've never drunk called a situationship like it's really weird like with an ex like you feel so comfortable because it's been so long that you've spent with them but with a situationship like my ego's so much like I have such an ego in that

like sort of department so it's like I don't want to call you because like what if you never respond to me but if my ex doesn't respond to me I'd like it's like you don't care I don't care because it's been so long yeah the gods are really up with situations it's interesting isn't it yeah they really like affect you they get you down bad those situations yeah we always say that we think a situationship breakup is worse oh yeah divorce i can attest to that you're lying you're lying you'd be married divorce babe divorce never have i ever done a drive past where i my ex's house like either specifically walked past it or driven past it to see if they see you.

I've only walked past it, not for them to see me. I actually haven't wanted them to see me at all because it's usually been when I've looked horrendous. However, I've walked past it like once because I was like, oh, throwback. And I was in the area. I was in the area. Your legs took over.

No, they did. Honestly, my legs took me there like i wasn't even aware and then i walked past i was like what would you have done if he came out was like what are you doing looking at my house i'm a prospective buyer yeah i don't know what i would have said i was just gonna i don't know what i would have done i'd have been really embarrassed so was this a long time after the breakup yes Yes, this, oh, after the breakup for like a good year, I could not even go into that area where he lived. Like even all the like clubs and all of that

couldn't go there because it was like triggering. But now, I mean, now I wouldn't really care to walk past. Like now I'm over it, it's been so long, but maybe I stumbled past the house once or twice. Never have I ever blocked an ex on socials yeah yeah are you blocking every time you break up with someone are you blocking them or um actually no like I've blocked on um Instagram once but thing is is when you break up with someone you kind of want them to see you thriving no it's always great when the haters see you yeah exactly it's like i want you to see me doing well however at the start of the breakup i i i

had to block i was like i couldn't see because also he was posting like girls and all this and the story it's like i don't want to see that how long did you block for uh like a day oh i'll be honest yeah yeah not long i'm not good with that i'm like i like a backbone i don't have one thank god you're here on the breakup diet we we build them yeah exactly but no yeah block for a day and then unblock that's just not worth it you need to block for like a week or like longer a month because i can't do it what made you unblock i think i'd had a few drinks on a night out and I thought... And you wanted food. And I wanted some food.

That's exactly what it was. You don't have Uber Eats on your phone? No, no, absolutely not. So I just thought, yeah, I have to unblock you. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. You've also got to eat. Do you know what?

Exactly, honestly. So just a quick interlude. This was like a year ago. This was like a long, long time ago. This kind of leads me on to my next never have I ever. Never have I ever gone on a date just for free food and drinks. You know what? Okay, a lot of my friends do this.

I'm not outing any of them, but a few of them do. However, I actually don't go on dates. What do you do? Straight to bed. You're almost like, me too. No, but it's like, obviously, I find it so much effort going out on a date. Like, I'd rather just order food myself.

Like, I'd rather just pay for it myself and order it myself. I get you. So where are you seeing them? Well, look, I will go to the bar. Like, we'll go for a drink, but I only go on dates if I genuinely like the guy. I would never go just for free food or drinks I'm so lazy when it comes to the guy department it's actually really bad what do you mean you're so like I'm just like I can't be bothered why would I take the time out of my day right obviously I'm very busy

with no job but why would I take the time out of my day to go and see you and chances are we won't like you'll just be weird and boring yeah there's nothing worse than a boring date yeah so how do you meet men then well this is my issue i kind of don't i'm actually on the same stage as you where a date is not worth it for me free food is just not an incentive for me like you said we can get the food ourselves i can order my wing stop myself you know like i don't need genuinely like a nice restaurant experience i'd rather go with you guys yeah exactly i'd rather dress up for you guys and take cute pictures together instead of the stupid man and then what yeah a hundred percent i'm like the exact same i would think it's fun like getting dressed up not all the time but like getting dressed up no you don't know if they like you don't know if them you like them

the anticipation it is like I remember and obviously I have been on a date in the past like I'm not a weirdo but it's like I remember going and I would just be like you're kind of not making me laugh right now like I'd rather just go with the girls because the girls make me laugh and also the girls aren't gonna break my heart no exactly you know but the guys are showing up to a date hotter than date funnier than the date more interesting than the date what is it in it for me that chicken nuggets just not gonna do it and also my issue is is if i'm going on a date right i don't want to eat in front of you because I'm like, I get embarrassed. I get like, I get really nervous eating on a first date. So what's a good date for you?

Zuma. So a restaurant. Yeah. I don't go on dates, but a good date for me would be taken to a restaurant. Yeah. Take me to Zuma and then we'll be fine. So Julia, have you ever had a breakup? Yes, I have.

I've had one breakup. I've only ever had one boyfriend. And it's the worst thing I've ever experienced. It was so bad. It kind of has made me terrified to ever get in a relationship again. Because also there was so much like back and forth. We broke up, what, 2021, I think? Oh my God.

And it's now, oh, we broke up 2022 that's ages yeah yeah anyway it's now 2024 and it's like to be fair I got over it beginning of 2024 that's since then I've been over it but that took me what like two years that's insane yeah what happened oh well like okay so I got cheated on like a thousand times thing is yeah it was once wasn't enough for him he's like let's just keep going yeah oh she hasn't found out yet let's keep going but the thing is is he never once admitted to me that he cheated but there's guys there's so many like red flags and you know when you break up you look back at the relationship and you're like wait you obviously did that and like when I was questioning you that was obviously true you know like when he's denying everything and it's just mental with the like you

know when you said you looked back on it now yeah was there smoke you know what you know when people say there's no smoke without fire yeah so had you been before you officially found out and you guys broke up had you did you have like did people message you did you have like i don't know did you see him out one time and he was like giving eyes yeah yeah yeah so i um i remember actually i got a call from um one of my really good friends um she was dating his best friend at the time so also like the loyalty she would have had loyalties to his best friend right but it shows that clearly like how much of the story like that the story really was true when she told me because that got her in a lot of trouble I remember she called me and she basically told me like a rumor of of my ex um like inviting some girl over to his place this was while I was like

we were fully boyfriend and girlfriend and I was like I was like this was the first time I'd had and I had any inkling that he was doing anything I was like you're taking the piss he denied it obviously he was like no so but the thing is that like actually breaks my heart is I was like, you're taking the piss. He denied it, obviously. He was like, no. But the thing is that like actually breaks my heart is I was so in love with him. Actually throughout the whole, you know, relationship, I was so in love with the guy that each time something would come up,

like I had multiple stories that, you know, he was seen out with this, like with girls in the club. And that's just the stories I heard. But I just allowed it because I was so in love with him like it's actually really sad like I was such a great girlfriend so you so you let even though when you heard these things you just kind of like brushed him off because you didn't want to hear it and just kept trying to trust him yeah that's the thing it's like I just didn't want to believe it because I was like surely surely you can't do that to someone like

be such a person to be able to cheat on your your partner like it's it's meant I just didn't understand he'd always have like a story but well no it's his sister his sister came over and they were like that's why her bag was in a video like he'd accidentally sent me once a video and there was a a prada bag in the background and um this is some detective shit from julia julia's like i saw the tiny snippet of this prada bag that's not mine i saw i saw this problem i have better taste literally it was like that's really ugly anyway i saw this and then you're like hold on no honestly i remember this was like back in the snapchat days okay so this was a while ago i remember looking and he'd sent me like a snapchat video and i saw this prada bag and it was like 4 a.m right

and he'd just been out to the club shock also that's a red flag a guy if your boyfriend's going out like four times a week that's not okay but i saw this bag in the video and i tried calling him so many times he wasn't answering his story was was that it was his friend's sister came round. Apparently his friend's sister was an interior designer. So she wanted to come round to check out the interior design of the house. Wait, at four o'clock in the morning? I am. No, I swear.

No, I swear. And I actually kind of believed it. And I ended up apologising for having a go at him. Yeah. By the way, guys, later down the line, I found out this friend doesn't even have a sister so how have you not taken in you know all this sort of past trauma into your relationships now or are you no I think um that's one thing I was worried about the first guy I probably started dating a little bit after my ex like I did you know I it the past trauma kind of kept on resurfacing and I'd go through like Instagrams

I do everything like I was a bit of a stalker but then now it's like I've learned if you haven't given me a reason not to trust you like I'm I'm going to trust you I think that's kind of my motto now otherwise it will eat me alive that's such a mature way to trust you I think that's kind of my motto now otherwise it will eat me alive that's such a mature way to go into it because it's really hard to do that to let go of the other things yeah when you start off dating someone and you don't trust them it just ruins anything before it's even happened so it's like why am I going to ruin that because I remember I took my ex back after he cheated on me rookie error and um it just made me go crazy like each time we'd go out each time especially after I'd had a drink just all the emotions would

come out I'll be like well you did this you did this and he would get annoyed because he'd be like you keep bringing it up and it's like if you're gonna take someone back you need to be over it it has to be a clean slate it has to be a clean slate otherwise it's not fair on on any of you stuff that clean slate shit sorry if they cheated on you i'm gonna hold it and every time i do get drunk i'm gonna be like you yeah yeah but if i want to stay with them then after like a month two months of hazing yeah then you let it go yeah once you find out a guy cheats on you never go back because you think it's gonna change and you're like oh well because i found out you know he won't do it again oh my god they will do it again 10 times more 10 times like

uglier girls yeah they just get worse and worse because also it's the girls like sorry i've stalked like definitely one instagram of a girl i know for a fact you know that he had fun with i've stalked her and i'm like wait why why like no i don't think it's about that i think it's just the pure excitement of doing it yeah the thrill of getting caught yeah i yeah i think that's what it is there's so many guys i know that have cheated and I'm just like how when you have like a stunning girlfriend sat at home I don't think it's to do with the looks of the girlfriend asshole I don't think it has anything to do with the actual girlfriend I think it's the personality thing yeah it must be it's also just cheating for me is just it's a choice yeah

we'll stop like everybody's gonna have that choice if they go out is whether you take it or not yeah I go for older guys now oh that's the thing it's about that way that was a bit of a flex that you're doing right now you're like I go for the older guys I will never go for a guy my age again because it's like they're still in that clubbing era Julia what for you is cheating? Like what's the line? And do you think the line is different when it's a boyfriend and when it's a situationship?

Yeah, I think now, because I've had time to grow and learn, I think the line is a bit different because E.G, for example, this guy I was dating like a few months ago, it was literally just like a situation ship like we'd been away together holiday romance sleeping together we were sleeping together great sex you know who you are you know exactly who you are do you share

no no no no no no I can't say who as in do you share the man well will you pass we came back to london and i saw he'd liked it was actually so embarrassing from my side so i'd like to girls photo what type of photo okay to be fair it who was it oh it was a girl that he had previously taken out on a date no that's the thing it's because he'd previously taken her out so and then I'm once again an Instagram stalker how did you know that he'd taken her out because I'd heard like um some of the boys had told me and I'd like I already knew about it was it a recent photo or was it it was a recent photo but he already like he follows her on instagram like

or did follow her i don't know if he still does i actually don't know because i haven't done my stalking in a while anyway i should probably do that tonight um but yeah no he'd liked her photo and um i was like you know what fuck this i'm like you're still you're liking a girl's photo that you took out on a date so then i I, I suddenly went in and kissed someone else. Anyway, besides the point. The revenge kiss. The revenge kiss, that was not great. Shouldn't have done that.

Anyway, besides the point, now if it happened, I would let it slide because we're not, it's just like a situation ship. It was just, you know, but back then I don't know what, I think I was still a bit traumatized from my ex. That's why it triggered me so much when I saw he had liked a girl's photo because I was like it just reminded me of my like previous relationship but now I feel like if you're just casually dating someone I do think they're allowed to like an Instagram photo it's not nice to see but it's like I can't get like I can't go kiss someone else yeah like I did last time you know growth exactly growth don't kiss another guy if they like a photo

okay but I do yeah I think things are very different in a relationship I sorry I you're not liking girls Instagram thirst traps that's embarrassing absolutely none not even oops accidentally did it no because also i find it when i post a photo and i see like a guy that has a girlfriend and i see he's liked my photo i laugh about it i actually sit there i'm like how embarrassing for the girl it's embarrassing for him um so i i'm like going along stalking my fake account oh new follower okay girl let's go in i go yeah okay then told my friend hmm something doesn't feel good nothing's on there but can't see anything she goes stalks from her main account sees that my situation ship like to be fair was a situationship but we were dating for

like a long time so like fair anyway like over six months yeah anyway sees my situationship had liked not a recent photo this is why i asked but maybe six down on the grid and you know what the photo was what lingerie um like body suit like this so in my rage i screenshotted it from my account so went on my account to double check that it was still there seeing that he'd liked it not a recent one only just followed her recently okay sent it to him and said what a nice photo to like i've done that i've done that like forward the photo but the thing is is like if it's pissing you off I think it's healthy to tell them that you're aware about it yeah because otherwise you bottle it up yeah and it comes out worse exactly and that's a thing I've learned as well in the

past I bottled things up and then I ended up well that was actually just with the situation ship I ended up fucking things up because that's when I went and you know got with someone else because I bottled up so much but now if something pisses me off I'll just say it wow you've had a lot of growth I have like I've learned a lot guys I know what I stand for I know what I don't don't stand for cheaters so with the first breakup did you have any go-to's that you did so you got broken up so you got broken up with on the monday dumped you how did he dump you how did he dump me oh he dumped me um outside my flat at least you're at home though yeah well not in my flat outside just he didn't care to come in he's like no this will be quick so it this will be quick sorry i remember yeah literally it was like two minutes it was like two minutes i remember my own friend was inside and i came back in and

she was like jules you've been outside for two seconds i was like yeah i know i've been dumped it was really weird like my reaction when he like finally broke up with me it was almost like a sense of relief the start of the relationship i was like the happiest I've ever been. And then towards the end, I was just miserable. And so when he broke up with me, it was like, it was like a part of me like was relieved. I remember I didn't cry and I said nothing. He was just like, yeah, can't do this anymore.

And I was like, okay, yeah. And then I just walked in back to my flat and then I burst out crying. I was actually thinking about this the other day the when he broke up with me I was also going through other stuff I was actually I was like how could you like you know I'm like for example even like when you're trying to move like I was trying to I had no like my flat my lease was coming to an end he knew that and I hadn't found another flat

yet and I was like meant to stay at his and it's like the week before he just kind of dumped me and it's just stuff like that I was just thinking about like how could you just I don't know I felt like it was quite mean yeah I had nowhere to go I was literally had nowhere to go dumped and homeless so I was dumped and homeless wait it's kind of you yeah divorced and homeless there's so many similarities yeah i was gonna say yeah it's like and also one of the most stressful things apparently is having like like trying to move moving flat and trying to find a place and bearing in mind that month i got dumped my dog died yeah my dog died I know I couldn't find a flat I got dumped it was like the worst and then I found out the girl he cheated on me with he flew to London she flew to London to stay with him

in all in that same month guys I've genuinely never been so depressed in my life but to be fair maybe it's so horrible but maybe you know it all came at once and now it's all upwards sailing oh yeah no it was definitely a blessing in disguise like I I needed to that relationship wasn't healthy so you so you cried and then what did you do did you go to the gym like oh no I went you eat a lot after what was your diet like you know it doesn't have to be related to food but it could be like yeah I um what did I do so at the start oh my god I was going out every night to be honest in the hopes that I would bump into him like at the very start I'd like go to the clubs like

revenge dress on like but the ones I knew he'd be at but then this is why it's a blessing in disguise I had to move back to my family home because I moved out of my flat and I was out of London for like a month or two months and obviously outside out mine and guys I went home I was exercising every day eating well my mum was cooking me amazing healthy food and then I remember coming back to London like a few months later and I genuinely think if I didn't go home and take the time to like heal I would have been in such a bad way guys I came back to London I was looking great and I was just like so fit and healthy and happy but then when I moved back I fell back into that circle again London traps you London's really

difficult for heartbreak it really is it really is but no at the start I was just trying to stalk him also did you yeah I was gonna say when you came back into London did you find that like you'd walk down a street and be like oh he used to hold my hand on this road oh no so that's the thing like I couldn't walk around that area he lived in horrible oh it was honestly the worst thing I've ever experienced that's why it's like but right now i'm happy like i'm kind of speaking to someone yeah someone um so and i'm really happy like he's just like you know when like someone's just a man like this guy i'm dating is like just a man and i'm like that's hot it's so hot love it oh happy for you so do you feel like the past the trauma all of that you've

healed you're not bringing any of that shit to what you're now now i'm not in the past how how have you like made that conscious decision like have you done anything to be able to do that because to be fair if that happened to me i'm I'm probably a bit spiteful. I would probably still hold on to it. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, I just, I just realized it's not healthy. Like, I was like, it drives me crazy. If I don't trust someone, that's when I fuck it up and I fuck something that could have been good up. And it's like, I don't want to do that again

and ruin something that could be really good. That's so wise. Yeah, I know. I'm like, Jesus, it's better I don't want to do that again and ruin something that could be really good that's so wise yeah I know I'm like I'm like Jesus it's better than our advice you know what is I've it's only been up until recently like the last like the last two months since like July I think I've been like just this change woman like my my aura is just great I'm so happy self-plug self-plug guys I'm amazing it's like I'm just so happy at the minute do you know what I feel like you need to be fully over them and happy within yourself to even be able to date someone in like a healthy manner at the beginning of the episode you said the only thing that helped you get over the breakup was meeting somebody else yeah but that was at the start okay but also but that's where I remember fucking things up at the start with a guy I was dating because I was like so

still like still still thinking thinking about the ex then I took time I didn't date someone for quite a while to be fair but it was nice to know in the past when I did start dating someone new after my ex that I could like someone else like I think that was a big thing for me because I feel like a lot of girls like my friends have had this as well it's like it's just nice to know that you can actually like someone what would you um suggest for somebody going through a breakup yeah so don't I wouldn't hang around the same you know your mutual friends because it's just like you know it needs to be out of sight out of mind although you want to know

the tea about them you don't you don't like you don't want it oh where is he oh he's out with this girl i don't want to know that absolutely not i'd also recommend leaving the city to be honest that's what helps me moving out of london and then going to the gym you need to get fit you need your revenge bod um because what if you're hot like you're invincible you're invincible like you can't there's like there's only like so like much what's the word like you can't be that upset if you're hot just get really fit and the glow that you have after a breakup oh my god it's like it it's you you look like a different person like okay maybe not like the first month but after a few months i came back to london looking like a model but i just had such a glow up and i think

yeah just make sure and block them block block block can't relate but block no contact is the best way no contact no stress that's why your skin glows genuinely exactly recently my skin's gotten great how many years later you're like that is still coming from the breakup two years later my skin is great it will come in time guys the breakup that's a commitment well thank you so much julia you have taught us loads genuinely i'm so inspired by you yeah you're like giving the mature answer yeah well no this is what i'm saying if this was a few months back i think the answers would be very different i've enjoyed being here guys thank you so much i feel like i needed this this is like a therapy session for me and it's also made me realize like whoa damn i've come far this is a slave you have i have oh you deserve this wish you all the best