The Break-Up Diet - One Year Later… And We’re NOT the Same Girls 💔✨

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

One year later… and we are NOT the same girls 💔✨. When we launched The Break-Up Diet, Yaz was in a relationship and Ilmz was caught up in a situationship. Fast forward 365 days, we’ve faced heartbreaks, career shake-ups, and glow-up moments we never saw coming. We barely recognise the girls who pressed record a year ago.The biggest lesson? Trust your gut. That little voice telling you something isn’t right is always spot on. Ignoring it kept us stuck but listening has been a total game-changer.In this anniversary episode, we’re spilling what breakups REALLY taught us (spoiler: it’s not what you think 🍵). From crying in bed to living our hot girl era, from losing relationships to finding ourselves, this year has been messy, chaotic, and transformative in all the best ways.Grab a drink, because the tea is hot, the lessons are real, and the glow-up is just getting started 🍷✨. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of The Breakup Diet. Today is a very exciting episode because... It's our one-year anniversary. Yeah, we've been doing this for one year. Where has the time gone, yes? I don't know. We're getting kind of emotional because we've gone through a lot in this last year. We've had a heavy year.

Like, actually, I didn't think that this would be a catalyst for a lot of break-ups, not just relationship breakups, job breakups, situationship breakups. It's just, I guess it's kind of pushed a massive change in our lives. Like this time last year we were completely different people. We were with people. We had serious jobs and look at us now. Like, what have you learned the last year?

About breakups or in general? What's the breakup diet taught you this year? let's switch it up we've been holding back way too much welcome to the breakup diet breakouts have taught me to just trust the process and sometimes you have to go into the lowest parts to then have this massive growth and also that you cannot really put a time frame on it or an expectation because every single one is so different and you can feel so different It really is such a patient game. What have you learned?

The biggest things that I've learned is to put myself first, put my happiness first. And I think this year is especially big for that because for the first time in seven years, I'm actually properly single, which is crazy to think of because I used to be so crazily boy obsessed. But it's been a year of learning where I'm like, okay, what do I actually want in a partner? am I those qualities? Actually, I'm not because I want a rich and successful partner. I'm not rich and successful yet. So this is the year and I think next year is going to be the same

where I just want to put my head first in Korea because, yeah, seven years in a relationship, I think there has to be a time where it's like, okay, focus on your work, see where that takes you because that's going to take you to places further than a man can. Yeah, and also we had somebody on the podcast actually this week and they were saying about how you kind of have to be that person. If you want to meet a certain type of person,

you have to be like... That person. Yeah, that person or someone that person would like too. So, you know what I mean? Some really successful, motivated person isn't necessarily going to want like a bum. Yep. And I think, yeah, that's also like a big lesson that we've both learned is to hold yourself accountable.

Like you can shift the blame. and some of the blame is rightful. Like, yes, our partners in the past have not been right for us. But equally, that is also when you reflect on yourselves and your traits and your behaviors and think, okay, surely I can move from this. Surely I can grow from this so that I don't attract that kind of person anymore. Yeah, but it is a process. First, you're going to like just be sad and then you come out to the level up of being,

you know, on the road. Yeah, 100%. I think that's how the breakup diet started for me because that was where. when it started my journey in my level up, really. Hang on, let's stop just for a sec. Subscribe and follow the breakup diet. You don't want to miss another episode. The breakup diet entered your life in the very...

You were in the relationship. Yeah, the breakup diet manifested into me, no, I didn't even... Me getting dumped. I was like, me breaking up with my boyfriend. I didn't even break up with my boyfriend, even though I gave myself advice to break up. with my boyfriend many times.

It's still going to do it, so. It's so interesting for you because you're like, you've been through every single cycle possible all while doing this. Yeah, it's quite hard, to be honest, because you don't want to really talk about breakouts necessarily when you're going through a breakup because it makes you, one, my emotions were crazy. So we had to cancel so many episodes because I was coming off as somebody

that I don't want to come off as because I was so hurt and angry and the emotions are so high that although yes I felt valid in what I was feeling and like I agree with what I was feeling the way that I portrayed myself I didn't like and I think sometimes you don't want to immortalize sad emotions which is why on social media you only see happy stuff because no one wants to keep seeing pictures or videos of them crying yeah like we'll be super raw with the stuff that we have felt, but in the moment, it is just impossible to be in front of a camera and actually... I did cry, so many times. Yeah.

We've both cried on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. I cried with my ex literally next to me, like, but it's one of those things. I'm so grateful for everything, and I'm grateful for all the people we've met through this podcast, like, all the therapists, all the fun, like reality TV stars, every single guest we've had I have learned something so valuable and I genuinely can like name a singular advice from each of the guests because they've like all kind of touched me yeah some have physical no kidding you can guess who it's really obvious that's funny yeah we have had such amazing guests and they all

have although I've noticed like a few of the times like they have similar advice or the the methods are kind of similar. Also, we've learned so many, like, things that we wouldn't have thought of, or that might seem obvious, but you don't think of. Sometimes you need, like, a prompt or a push to think the obvious things. Sometimes you just don't want to face them yet. And then when you have, like, a professional therapist, you're kind of forced to face some truths that, like, we personally have kind of been like, oh, I'm not ready to face that. Like, with Paige, I think she was the first ever breakup coach. Like for her with me was probably one of the most intense filming sessions because I learned a lot of things that I just wasn't ready to learn yet. Yeah, that is the thing also

with breakups is you have to be ready to let go, to move on, to process all of that sort of stuff. It actually does start with you and you have to be in the spot of you want to do that. Otherwise, all our advice, everything doesn't matter. Like really? You have to. sit with every single stage of grief to get to an actual place where you can start working on yourself. You have to sit with the sadness. Equally, you have to sit with the happiness. And it's funny because sometimes sitting with the happiness is harder. It's so easy to be depressed and like mopey and being miserable in bed when being happier, somehow that's harder because you're like, oh no, this isn't going to last forever. Well, it will. Yeah. It's.

if you put your mind into it. Yeah. So true. I never thought about that. Yeah. Oh, it's actually a quote from Kendall Gemma. Oh. Unexpected, right?

I saw one of her Vogue interviews the other week and I'm like, damn. Because she's been like heavily therapies and the advice that she gives, it's like, hopefully on the guest soon. Yeah, a dream guest. Here we go. Here we go. Exactly. What's been like your highlight with the guest?

Who's a guest that like left such an impactful mark on you? Oh my God. All of them have. though. Literally every single one has because all the advice is like so unique and also special and will help in like different situations. There's somebody that I really, really, really loved having on was Lydia because she, I love that whole energy stuff. So like that was really special I thought especially with like hearing about Reiki and I'm pretty sure she was the first person that told us about dancing it out. Yes. So I thought that was really interesting. Have you tried that

because I have, and it's actually, it works. Sometimes you do got to move your body, guys, to not be sad. Yeah, also, though, it makes sense. Like, you know, when you need to clear your head and you're going to run. So, like, yeah, it's not dancing, but you do, that's what I do to clear my head, too. Yeah, you move your body and everything just kind of disappears. But that's something I didn't think about before. Yeah, yeah.

We've learned the value of actually just being active and not being stagnant, definitely with her. What about you? Do you have her favorite? Paige was really special. having my ex on was really special. I think that was such a powerful way to kind of move on and come to terms with the fact that, okay, I'm single now for the first time in seven years. Like, I think the reason I, well, he was meant to be a rebound, turned into someone that

I really had an anxious attachment to learning how to detach, learning how to be my own person, having an identity outside of men and relationship. He was such a catalyst for that. To be fair, when we first met, you were. way more, like, you're not boy-obsessed at all now, but you were boy-obsessed without being total born. I was so boy-crazy. Yeah. It's so icky, right?

Yeah, now you're complete opposite. That has a massive growth. I've just realized like, because I always see you now as like, anti, not Andy, but you're so like independent. You're like, ew, no, unless they just add to me it's a no, you know? And then, but before, thinking about you when I first met you,

that without being horrible, wouldn't have been my first impression. No, crazy, right? Like a lot of people can't imagine me married anymore. I'm like, babe, same. I can't even picture my life five years ago. But it's just one of those things when you've been in a relationship for so long, seven years off my 20s, you know? Yeah, it's a long time.

There has to be a time where I put myself first. And I see so many cases like with women like from older generations, even like, God forbid, like girls our age, where they just throw themselves into relationship, they like neglect their career, they neglect their personal development, and they have to fend for themselves when the man unexpectedly leaves them. That's what happens to me. And I just never want that again, which is why, like, I guess that's, which is why the breakup diet is such a personal mission for me, because I want women and people in general to empower

themselves within themselves and and find their sense of worth outside of relationships. Yeah. Because that's not the end goal in life. The end goal in life is to find the home within yourself. Yeah. And then connect with someone else after. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that is the biggest thing for like this podcast in general, which we actually haven't spoken about, is it's all about empowerment and self improvement and development. That's what I'm like main, I guess. main themes. Like, that's why I was interested. That's why I was like, yes, do you need a ghost? Because it was such a personal thing for me, I guess. Yeah, and it's nice because we're very different on, like, our journeys on that

have been very different, which makes it nice. Because hopefully. Because you get so many different perspectives through us as well. And then, oh, with all of our guests, they've all been so amazing. Like, even the guys, the toxic things that we listen to, God. Yeah. yeah oh something's popped to my head but have to say if you are in a relationship and you're thinking he's not the one or you're thinking of breaking up with him it's not right break up

don't waste your time as long as we have because if you're having that thought i don't think you should have that thought and if it's a thought that's like consistently popping up in your head maybe not even like even if it's just there it shouldn't be there i think so too because the right person wouldn't make you doubt your relationship yeah and if you're feeling a certain way like even if they're not telling you the correct stuff trust your gut yeah trust your gut like if you're feeling like he's not in the relationship or he's pushing you away he probably is even if he's telling you he loves you like if the action doesn't match with the words i'm sorry it's a sign for you to kind have ended. That's a big lesson we've learned from all of our relationships, don't you

reckon? Yeah. I definitely learned that one because I was, although I thought it and I felt in my, like myself, I thought that, I still was like, no, no, no, because. Because he would say the opposite of his actions. Yeah. And only, only now when I've got the valid, not validation, but I've been, the closure. The closure. And I know for a fact that it was, because he told me, I'm like, ah, I was, I was right. And I should have just listened to myself instead of being like, no, no, no, I'm just, I'm just thinking that that's me, not, you know, not the reality because he's telling me, I love, I love you.

Your intuition is the most powerful thing. Only truly you know what's good for you, who's right for you. And if there's a sign, you've got to go for it. You've got to trust it. There's a reason why your brain is sending you these. signals. Yeah, literally, literally. But it can't just be like one time. We've said this before, but you have to, I don't think you can make like an impulse decision on that sort of stuff. No, 100%. If you're getting enough of a feeling that it's not right for you, then you have to go.

One thing that I have really learned about breakups is you have to do what you want to do, which might be like not great advice, but I feel like for me personally, maybe you have a different view but I like to if I really want to do something and I think it'll make me feel better even though it's not the stereotypical thing to do I will still do it because at the end of the day you've got to trust your intuition yeah and I will feel better for it like even if it makes like the outcome isn't what I want or expected at least I've got there by myself and I'm like I'm the reason I'm there not because I've been told oh don't do this to be this or don't do that to, you know, win the breakup or to get into combat. There's nothing to win. If a relationship's

ended, there's no game, there's no competition. You have to do what's right. And if it helps you move on, sometimes, yeah, you might need to have the closure conversation one too many times. Literally. Literally. Because lots of people say with closure, like, if you don't want to get back with him, why bother, all this sort of stuff. Which, yeah, I do get to. That's like a self-preservation type of thing. But then also, for me, I needed it. I needed it. And it was your first breakup as well. Like it's a bit more complex. Like breakups after that, you don't even care for a closure. Yeah, maybe. Stay tuned. Yeah, we'll find out. Like for me, when I started this journey with the breakup diet, I genuinely thought that I wouldn't get over my ex. Crazy. And

the thing is like, it's such a cliche advice. And it's annoying to hear, but time does heal. Literally. Because now I'm like, I can't even imagine speaking to him. I can't even imagine being with him again, even though we had a great relationship and like you guys have seen us. Like our chemistry is great and everything, but it's just something that, you know what? I'm happy it happened and I'm so happy I've moved on, which is something I never thought

I could have. Yeah, fair. It's honestly a scary thing. and you can't put the time on it, which is so hard and hurtful and confusing. And you're, like, beating yourself up constantly. Like, I was beating myself up so much when we first started filming, being like, okay, I've been through a divorce. Why is the situation ship holding me back?

Why am I not being able to let go? You know? And honestly, sometimes, unfortunately, you just need, like, another year of healing and finding yourself to realize that, okay, it's done. You're over him. I feel very free and calm Yeah

I feel like we both feel very calm at the moment actually As people Which we weren't We weren't We were very scatty Because I was not over my like ex You were in a relationship where you knew He was not right free

And you were just fighting for it Because it's your first relationship And it's a very normal thing to do Yeah and also you Because you have It's not like the whole relationship with bad Like I had amazing times Like where it was so nice

That's what makes it so hard Because you have such good times Yeah, and also you think, like, oh, but life isn't amazing all the time. So, like, maybe we're just having a bad little moment and then I'll be fine again. And it was never, like, the stereotypical, like, this is really bad. You have to leave. You know what I mean? It was more, like, subtle things.

It just wasn't bad enough. Yeah. And sometimes you guys don't need to be dragged so low to leave. Like, if it's just not good, leave. It doesn't have to be horrendous for you to leave. Yeah. Yeah. That is a learning for me.

both of us too. I think so too. I think so too because I felt like back then, oh, if like the relationship ended because he cheated, I would have been able to move on quicker. No, I should have been able to move on quick because he don't want me anymore. That should be motivating enough for me. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also sometimes really hard to believe that too, I think, to actually sit and believe, oh no, they don't want me because it's a hard like truth to swallow. And even if you don't one then, which is also interesting, like, it doesn't matter because everyone was... Somehow the rejection still hurts. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, with one of my exes, I knew I didn't want to be with him. I still stuck it out for God knows what. And then when he left, I'm like, how dare you? Because all this time, I've been thinking of leaving you and you do that to me. How dare you? Yeah.

Yeah. It's wild. It's such a, like, mind game. And it's one of those things you just got to. sit through the grief and eventually the time will come where you're like, oh, I'm going to heal from this. I'm going to learn from this. Yeah, literally. One more thing for me that I've really learned is that I don't think love is something that you have to like make somebody like chase. You know what I mean? I feel like if you're in the right relationship and you want it and you both like you don't

have to like prove your worth or prove that you're lovable or prove anything because they see it. Yeah, love is about who choose you back to. Yeah. Love is mutual. I think that's a big lesson that we've learned in this journey. It's a two-way street. Yeah. You both have to hold yourself accountable with what you contribute to the relationship because it's a lot. Yeah, and you both have to contribute to the bloody relationship. Evenly. Yeah. And that doesn't necessarily mean that it's all the time. Like, you don't always have to be exactly even, but like it's, because it's swings of it too like otherwise you have bad days he has bad days but the main thing is you guys are partners in this together you guys are communicating and above all like you are there for each other

and you make that commitment to be there for each other yeah literally if that's not there then the foundation of a relationship is just not strong enough yeah and one person will crack like as in whoever is putting in more of the work at one point will crack and then it will go just end really badly and I think that's a big lesson that we've learned. We've now learned that what we want in the relationship is basically just a nice, equal, calm partnership. Yeah, the salt and pepper. Truly, yeah, we want the balance of everything. But that's also in friends too, I think. Because we always, we talk a lot about relationships, but also the breakup diet is about friendship too. It's about relationships in general. Yeah, even with work, with friendships, with family, with all

of it like you should have people around you that one inspire you that uplift you that add in a positive way to your life like you're not not that you're just getting something from them but like they're uplifting and if they're not like you've got to cut the cord yeah it doesn't matter who they are to be honest like obviously like there's different situations but and you have to navigate that individually but as a whole general way of speaking don't let them bring you down. Exactly. Like your community has to be the people

who are your number one right or die who are there for you, who want to be there for you. You said something really, really good earlier before we started filming. About choosing nowadays, you get to choose who you're around you. Exactly.

Nowadays, like, the people you have around you, especially if you, like, live out of home, you get to choose who gets access to you. Choose carefully. Choose accordingly. You don't need to link yourself with people who don't want the best for you anymore, you know? Yeah, because also you do. You are taking people's energies from around you.

100%, yeah. That's why when you're in a relationship that might not be correct, even though they might be a fine person in general. They'll drain you out. They'll drain your energy out. And in turn, your energy with other people is just declining. You can't be the best for everyone around you anymore because the one person, that you need isn't there for you right now. Yeah.

So that's why you have to be careful and selective and try to, you know, keep your community good. Yeah, I completely agree with that. So with the podcast, has I made you a better data or do you now feel you're more prone or more aware of X? No, I think maybe it's made me better because I'm not, I'm less judgmental actually, to be honest, which, yeah, so maybe I'd like see icks, but I also understand them, yeah, and also like I feel like there's bigger things

than an ick that are bad, you know what I mean? Like, an ick is like, oh, it's a bit gross, like I wouldn't do that, like whatever, but then in the grand scheme of things, what, I'm not going to pick someone for an ick that I find a bit, like, weird when they're not like a serial killer or, you know, like a horrible person, or then got all these other great qualities. So I feel like because of the podcast and meetings of any different people and like understanding more relationships and the different dynamics of them, I think it's made me a better data, maybe. That's so interesting.

I love that for you. Not that I've gone on many dates, though. Yeah. You've got better perspectives on the human condition now. Yeah. And also for me, this, because I've gone through my first breakup and stuff and had my first relationship really i think that i'm a better data because i'm i put less pressure on it like before i'd be going on these dates for validation yeah whereas now i'm not turning up to dates because

i want somebody to like me i'm turning up and being me and if they like me that's fine and that's good i'm not trying to like put up a fake facade whereas i was before yeah same i used to want to be the cool girl all the time now i'm like no i don't need that right now this is just not the space for me to date. So in turn, the podcast has not made me into a date or anymore. It's taken me out of the dating game and it's for the best for my mental health. It's not my priority anymore. Finding the one is not my priority. Like, I've been married before. I don't need to chase that high anymore because I know what it's like to have a wedding. I know what it's like to have a marriage. Like now it's time to experience life in different lenses.

That's our little learnings from this year. What a crazy year, yes, and I just can't wait to learn more and fun, interesting things as the years go by. Like, we're only just getting started, like... Yeah. You know what's really, this has just triggered me a bit because you know when you... Not in a bad way, but you remind me because when we're filming these episodes and we have these subtopics and we're talking about, like, closure, going back to your ex, I don't know, friendship breakups, all this sort of stuff. when you're living it because we've all like this year live different different parts of those

situations and subtopics it's wild giving advice and then actually being in it yeah and I think like our advice stems from like what we've experienced some of my advice is based on absolutely do not copy what I've done which is why I give advice but also some of my advice is like okay like this is actually what I've learned maybe do this because if this worked for me it could work for someone like me yeah exactly but our advice might change too of the time i think that's important to say too because your advice you give it different stages it does change and it'll only get better as we have more experience in life yeah yeah so you got to keep watching for this new year of the breakup diet i just feel like there's a shift in the atmosphere babe like it's exciting i know just because

it's not winter yet the winter's coming and then we get like dark and gloomy and sad again and that's when we're in sydney so see you okay ilma what are your intentions for this next year okay for the next year in the context of the breakup diet i want to interview more guests i want to connect with more people i would love to have a live show for our listeners at some point um that is something definitely we want to like look into in the summer maybe yeah i think it'd be really nice as well also to hear the stories of others like get full-on listeners stories yeah like in person as well yeah i think that would be really connecting in real life is also very important like we're so lucky to have a platform online but

hopefully one day we will be live what do you want to achieve in year two i just want to achieve yeah bigger network of like growth and people and getting more exciting guests on maybe different avenues that we haven't explored too much or like with specialists i think that would be really interesting and yeah i mean a massive aspiration of the year from me personally we're be getting on somebody that really understands like the brain like and understands like emotions and but like in depth you know so that we can like analyze like really get the signs of it i think that will be such a cool avenue to take like i would love to look into like an MRI scan of someone who's gone through a breakup seeing like the parts of the trauma of the brain yeah and understand that

and how to like slowly close that yeah yeah there was somebody on this is different but there was somebody on Simon Bartlett's podcast, I can't remember the name of it on my head, but she was talking about, like, grief and obviously, like, having a breakup that you can't control, like, you've lost somebody, you know what I mean? And how she was, like, talking about her brain in those situations, and she's, like, obviously, a super intelligent lady. And I was like, that's so interesting that even, like, the smartest people in the world can't control how they're feeling in those moments where you would think they could. Yeah, because they know all the understandings, but sometimes like the human emotion can overtake you, it can overtake

everything that you've learned and it's okay because we're people, we're humans, we're not AI, we're not a robot, like we're allowed to feel all these things. But yeah, year two is going to be big for us. I can feel it. Yeah. Hopefully more campaigns. Yeah. More just more photo shoots. Yes, we just want to be out and, you know, take it internationally and just see where it goes. We're so excited. Like year one has been so amazing. It's changed my life beyond. Like it's changed my life in ways I didn't expect it to be. And wow, like the different perspectives I've learned about not just breakups, like the human condition in general, I feel so wealthy. Because I feel like I have an understanding of things

that not many people would. Do you know what I mean? True. Yeah. It's exciting. And thank you guys. so much we're even tuning in to year one and like a whole journey like we're so grateful honestly so grateful that you come back and you listen to the episode it means the world it really does like we wouldn't be here without you guys we wouldn't been able to come this far without you guys so a big thank you and stay tuned year two is here woo-hoo I don't know.